a A GUST OF WIND

A GUST OF WIND

by Parina Douzina Stiakaki

She first laid eyes on him in her Uncle's timber yard where she'd come to

work. He was looking through stacks of planks carefully in order to choose

the best quality for his order. He looked serious and completely absorbed in

what he was doing. But something about him caught her eye. There was

something compelling about him, something distinctive she couldn't quite

explain. Not his looks. He was stocky and short, nearing middle age, though

his hair remained very black and his eyebrows very bushy.

"That guy's bad news..." Her Uncle muttered with a disapproving shake of

the head.

"Bad debts?" She inquired automatically leafing through the ledger.

"No!" He laughed. "Oh no. Ted Gratsos always pays on time. No. It's not

that."

"Then what is it?" She asked, sounding very intrigued. Her Uncle looked at

her and smiled.

"Oh..." He evaded. "You don't want to know." and left the office to go out

into the yard and tend to his customer's needs.

This could only help spike her curiosity even more. She looked out

over the yard from the glass paneled office perched on a mezzanine floor

above. Her Uncle seemed to be trying to interest him in something but he

shook his head gravely. When they seemed to have finally done their deal,

her Uncle motioned over to the fork lift operator and Ted Gratsos, as if

suddenly stung, shot a sharp look up in her direction at the office. Their eyes

met. She felt a shock shoot through her body, as though she had actually had

A GUST OF WIND/STIAKAKI/PAGE -2 -

the force to magnetize him somehow, as though he'd caught her look of

intrigued curiosity and had responded instinctively. Their eyes remained

locked for a moment, one all the more powerful for its brevity. She felt hot,

then embarrassed, then looked away almost as soon as he did.

"Make out all the necessary papers for the Gratsos shipment." Her Uncle

ordered in a professional tone, but then asked her less formally, "You sure

you know what to do?" She'd only been working for him for a short while

now and he still felt unsure of her ability.

"Oh yes." She asserted with confidence. "Have I failed you yet?" and he

smiled at her with relief.

She felt bad about living with her Uncle and Aunt. They'd put her up when

she'd first come into the country, but now she was earning her living, she felt

she was imposing. Yet every time she broached the subject of finding a place

of her own, her Aunt would only laugh.

"What nonsense, Maria! Why?" She protested as they pottered about in the

kitchen together preparing dinner.

"You've been so kind. Both of you. But I don't want to be a burden on you!

I'm making my own money now and..."

"And you want to throw it away, eh?" Her Aunt accused jocularly as she set

the kitchen table.

"No! But..."

"You keep your money, Maria!" Her Aunt laughed. "Save up for a good

dowry."

Now it was Maria's turn to laugh. A dowry? That had been one of her

main reasons for wanting to leave Greece in the first place! All this business of

dowries and marriages arranged by the family and all that.

"But seriously, Aunt. I don't want to be a lot of trouble for you. You're

doing so much for me. I feel terrible..."


"Now listen to me." She said firmly, turning all her attention on her niece,

leaving the table she was setting. "I don't want any more of this nonsense. You

hear? You're like a daughter to me Maria, and not just because you're my

poor late sister's girl." She said crossing herself reverently as she mumbled,

"May God forgive her soul." and then went on sternly, addressing Maria

again. "Now my own Pete is away, I don't have anyone else to look after, do

I?"

"But..."

"No buts!" She asserted. "I never had a daughter of my own, and it makes a

difference having you here now. You'll stay here with us and no more

nonsense about going to live on your own. A mere girl in a dangerous city

like this!" She tut tutted. Then she looked at her and smiled. "You'll only leave

this house as a bride." She declared.

"Oh, Aunt!" Maria felt self conscious. "That's the last thing on my mind!"

She protested.

"Why? You're a young woman, a clever girl... You should be thinking about

it."

"No... I..."

"Well, okay. Not yet, perhaps. But in time. We have some very good boys

out here." She said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"Aunt... I'm not... I don't..." She felt flustered, but her aunt only laughed and

hugged her in a tight maternal embrace.

"Of course you do! We all do." She added, then assured, "Just leave it to

me." Which couldn't help sounding decidedly suspicious.

She was touched by her Aunt's affection. She knew it was genuine. Yet

she couldn't help chafing. She wanted to get out, make her way on her own.

That's why she'd come here. But she felt confined, restricted, not as free as

she'd imagined she'd be. Not that they actively confined her in any way. She

was perfectly free to do as she pleased and go where she liked. But as often as


not they offered to take her where she wanted to go, or take her out with

them where they went. She really had no friends of her own yet.

"In time." Her Aunt had comforted stroking her hair. "In time you'll meet

people and make friends. But you must be careful. This is a foreign country.

Don't trust people. You must be very very cautious." Well of course, she

understood that. Which was one reason she was happy to comply with the

community priest's request that she help out at the school. It was entirely

voluntary and consisted of teaching the young children Greek for a couple of

hours every Sunday after the Church service. She got to know people and

enjoyed being in a very Greek environment once a week which somehow

helped to assuage her homesickness.

And then she saw him again. One Sunday morning. On her way into

the school. They almost bumped into each other. She felt it was him even

before she looked up into his face. A nervous shudder rippled through her

whole body as she gaped at him, unable to speak, since her throat felt

paralyzed. He shot his dark eyes into hers, then suddenly away from them as

if he'd felt an electric shock sting him. He mumbled something incoherent

without looking at her again, and shuffled off as awkward and as troubled by

this chance encounter as she was.

She felt hot and restless. Something suddenly came to the boil inside

her. It was quite extraordinary. She'd never felt anything like this before, and

though it troubled her, even scared her, she couldn't help feeling exhilarated

too, as if something delightful had begun to stir inside her. But who was this

Ted Gratsos? Her Uncle had always avoided the subject whenever she'd tried

to bring it up. And what was he doing here, at the Community School on a

Sunday morning? She was burning with curiosity, but she didn't want to give

herself away by making her interest in him too obvious.


"I don't know..." She hedged when asked why she was asking. "It's just

that... Well, I think I've seen him somewhere before..." She tried to sound

indifferent.

"He comes here sometimes..." One of the other volunteer Greek teachers

said taking a sip of her coffee. The morning's work was over and they were

socializing.

"No, I..." She said again in a little while since the other woman hadn't

elaborated. "No, I don't think I've seen him here before..."

"Maybe at your Uncle's." Someone else offered and Maria shivered

inadvertently as though she'd been caught out. "He has a woodwork

business." She went on to explain.

"Oh... Yes... Maybe. Maybe you're right."

And then someone else shook her head in disapproval and sighed.

Though they'd been reluctant to talk about him at first, once they'd got going,

with a little discreet probing by Maria, it all came out. There was an air of evil

and mystery about him which the gossip did more to enhance than to dispel

since nothing very concrete emerged. Except one thing. That he'd committed

a murder. She recoiled, almost in shock, but then found herself springing back

into the conversation which had begun to heat up. It had been in self defense.

That was what the court had ruled. He'd served his term and had been

released earlier for good behavior.

"Yes, but... was it really self defense?" One of the women questioned darkly,

conveying the distinct impression that she knew better. But if the court did

decide that... On the basis of the evidence... and...

"Ah yes. But don't forget. The man he killed was black." She said

significantly and an ominous hush fell over them.

Maria couldn't help feeling more and more confused. Why should that

make a difference to the verdict as the other women obviously felt that it

would? She wanted to ask, but then didn't want to ask. She took a nervous


gulp from her steaming coffee cup and scorched her lips. An awkward flutter

rippled through her chest. The victim had been his partner or at any rate,

either working with him or for him. No one quite knew what happened. It

had occurred in the workshop one evening when no one else was there.

Gratsos claimed he'd been attacked. When there were no witnesses how could

this be proved or disproved? No doubt the court had decided to give him the

benefit of the doubt. There'd been a hassle over money. Gratsos claimed his

partner had been embezzling him, putting his hand in the till to pay for his

fix. Perhaps that too, the mention of a 'fix', had helped influence the court in

its judgment. And when Gratsos had caught him red handed, his partner had

turned on him in a vicious murderous attack. In his effort to defend himself,

he'd killed him instead.

"Well, if it was like that..." Maria said, wanting to acquit him almost as

much as the jury seemed to have wanted to.

"Oh but it wasn't." Someone else said darkly. "Not quite."

"Oh?" She turned to her, so intrigued by now she forgot to hide her

curiosity.

"No." The woman said shaking her head.

"Oh, but how can you know? It's just gossip..." One of the teachers

protested.

"Ted Gratsos is no good." She declared. "He's wild and he's vicious!" Then

she finished her coffee. "Believe me." She said emphatically. "I know."

On the saint's day her Uncle was named after, they had a party. Maria was

delighted to be of help in the bustle and minor panic of preparations. Lots and

lots of mezedes with wine and sweets and brandy. Her Aunt kept fussing that

she shouldn't tire herself, but she was pleased with the help and declared the

stuff Maria made was excellent.


"Now go!" She ordered, shooing her away like some mother hen. "Go and

make yourself pretty!" She smiled broadly, giving Maria a distinct feeling she

had some ulterior motive in mind.

It was a rowdy party. A very Greek party, she couldn't help feeling. A

lot of noise, a lot of singing and a lot of eating and drinking. Everyone praised

the food. At some point in the evening her Uncle began to sing her praises,

prompted by a question from one of the guests as to how she was doing.

"Maria? Oh Maria's a born accountant!" He declared emphatically, raising

his glass to drink to her health. "A very clever girl and very capable too. I'm

lucky she came!"

"And pretty too." One of the women smiled approvingly at her.

"Oh yes!" Her Aunt agreed, putting her hands affectionately on her niece's

shoulders. "And very efficient in the home too. I have to argue with her to

stop doing the housework and get some rest!"

Murmurs of approval went round. Smiles and nods. Maria began

feeling extremely awkward and exposed in the face of all the attention and

praise being lavished on her. It was good to know she was appreciated, but

she hated being made the center of attention like that. She blushed with

embarrassment. But then amid the remarks of approval and general chatter

about her, her Uncle let out a big sigh and said,

"And she makes the best baklava I've ever tasted!" provoking laughter all

round the room with his manner.

Amid all this merriment with her at its epicenter, she suddenly caught

the eye of a young man she'd not paid much attention to before. He was

looking at her and smiling. His expression conveyed sympathy for her ordeal.

She smiled back at him and when her praises had finally been sung and the

guests had started singing another song together round the lavishly laden

table, she slipped away and he followed her to the kitchen.

"Lembessis." He introduced himself. "I'm John Lembessis."


"Oh, yes..." She said hesitantly, but then remembered. "Your parents are

friends of my Uncle and Aunt, aren't they?" And he nodded holding on to his

glass of wine. "Can I get you anything?" She offered as the polite hostess.

"Relax." He smiled at her. "You can relax with me. I know what it's like!" He

commiserated and she nodded with a deep sigh.

"I felt so foolish." She confided.

"Yes." He looked at her. "I realized. But they're just like that. They do mean

well."

"Oh yes. I know. But sometimes... Well, I can't help feeling out of my depth

and totally exposed!"

"How long have you been here, Maria?"

"Not long."

He nodded gravely as though that meant something.

"Perhaps we could get together some time and I could show you around?"

He offered, his eyes conveying his warmth.

"Well, I..." She hesitated, but he laughed.

"Don't worry! We'll do it properly and get your Uncle's permission first!"

"Oh no!" She blushed hotly at what he'd inferred. "Oh, I didn't mean that!"

"It's okay. I know things are different back home."

"Well actually," She smiled at him. "They're not that different. Not any

more."

Her Aunt was delighted. The next day she just couldn't stop singing

Lembessis' praises, just as she'd done her niece's the night before.

"Such a nice boy that John. And educated too. He has a college degree.

Works in a large important firm and is doing very well. Excellent prospects.

And such a worthy family."

"Is that why you wanted me to make myself pretty last night?" She asked

with a slight tone of accusation in her voice, but her Aunt only laughed.


"You don't need to make yourself pretty, Maraki! You just are!" She

declared, then added. "And I think young John noticed that too..." with a sly

innuendo sparkling in her mischievous eyes.

She looked out for him on Sundays, but discreetly so. Sometimes, but not

often, she caught sight of him in Church, but he always managed to slip out of

sight and blend with the shadows. He always stood apart, alone, talking to no

one, keeping himself to himself.

"A misunderstood man." The priest said of him once, gravely shaking his

head as his eyes followed Maria's and alighted on Ted Gratsos, pottering

around with a pew that needed mending. She gave a start, decidedly

uncomfortable that the priest had noticed whom she'd been looking at. But he

was more concerned with Gratsos himself, however, than with what might

have been playing on the girl's mind. She turned and looked at him, that heat

rising dangerously up in her cheeks, but compelled to ask anyway.

"Why do you say that, Father?"

He turned and smiled at her.

"God may forgive the penitent." He said. "But people rarely do." and then

changed the subject to ask her how the children in her class were doing.

The more she thought of him, the more something greater than mere

curiosity burned inside her. He had a deep hunted look that haunted her at

night. He seemed gruff and rugged and was avoided and disdained by

everyone. But he remained aloof too, disdaining everyone in his turn. Yet she

could sense he was just as much aware of her and her interest in him, as she

was aroused and troubled by his presence whenever he happened to be close.

But every time she'd tried to approach him, he'd retreated, every time she'd

addressed a formal greeting to him he'd only answered with a curt,

monosyllabic acknowledgement and lowered eyes. He never looked into her

eyes when he was on his guard. It was all too deliberate to be mere chance or


even indifference. By his very manner, by the very way he needed to avoid

her, by the way he couldn't look her simply in the eye, she could tell he was

by no means indifferent to her either.

An air of danger, an air of evil about him. Gossip abounded. About his

vicious streak.

"That poor woman. What she suffered at his hands!"

"What woman?" Maria asked, something undefined whipping her up

unpleasantly inside.

"His wife..."

"Wife?" She almost stuttered in alarm. "He has a wife?" She asked clearing

her throat as her voice sounded nervously hoarse.

"No. Not any more. She divorced him after the murder."

"And left town..." A friend of her Aunt's added gravely shaking her head.

"He'd only have killed her too once he was out."

Maria's jaw dropped as she listened to this. So wild and so vicious?

"Hey, don't scare the girl with all this talk about that no good Gratsos!" Her

Aunt suddenly intervened, noticing how her niece had paled and how the

conversation had troubled her, and totally misinterpreting her reaction.

"No, no... I'm not scared." She said quickly, swallowing down her saliva. "It

just seemed a bit strange..."

"Strange!" Her Aunt's friend laughed sarcastically. "You can say that again!"

Then she turned conspiratorially to Maria and said in a low tone of voice. "He

was a brute. That man was a brute. That poor woman... He beat her so often,

it's a miracle she escaped with her life!"

"That's enough now..." Her Aunt scolded. She didn't like the impression all

this was making on her young niece. Nevertheless, that evening when they

were alone in the kitchen preparing the evening meal, Maria pressed her. She

was adamant, despite her Aunt's reluctance to talk about that wretch who

gave us all a bad name. But in the end she managed to piece it all together. Or


at any rate, to get as many sides of the story as she needed to fully and utterly

confuse the whole picture.

He'd been a jealous man, a bad husband. Though rumor did have it

that his wife had played around. But no one knew for sure. Some said he'd

argued with his partner over money and then killed him in the fight by

accident. Others, that the fight had been nothing to do with money at all. No.

It had been over the woman. Ted's wife. She'd been having an affair with

Ted's partner. That's why he killed him. For having dared touch his wife.

"But I don't believe she was involved with him." Her Aunt said. "I don't

believe that of her for a moment. It was all in his evil mind. He was always so

jealous of her!"

"But you do think he killed him out of jealousy, regardless of whether she

had in fact been unfaithful or not?" Maria felt the need to push it as far as it

would go.

"Who knows?" Her Aunt shrugged. "What matters is he killed a man."

"But what if it was self defense after all?" Maria insisted.

"Well, I don't know my dear, but mark my words, self defense is really just

an invention of the courts, you know. A man won't kill unless he's got it in

him. That Gratsos is dangerous. Heaven help any woman who has the

misfortune to get close to him again." She sighed, and Maria felt a strange

quiver of apprehension in her belly.

She hadn't wanted to go out with John Lembessis, but he'd gone and done the

proper thing and asked her Uncle and her Aunt first, and they'd been

delighted with the invitation. Such a nice boy. Such a good family. She could

hardly do anything other than swallow her reluctance and give in to all the

forces pushing her in John Lembessis' way. There was more to this than their

desire for her to meet young people here and go out and enjoy herself as they

kept insisting she should. They meant well, she knew. But she also knew there


must be something else in the back of their mind. After all, Lembessis was an

eligible young man, and one her Aunt so obviously approved of. Which was

the main reason why she'd been so reluctant to go out with him in the first

place. She didn't want to get tied up with him or anyone else and find herself

getting committed by default as she was afraid might well happen. After all,

his mother and her Aunt would hardly have tried so hard and been so keen

on their meeting and going out alone together like that if they didn't have

something up their sleeve. And arranged marriages and the like were one of

the things she'd wanted to get away from in coming here, and not smack right

back into as she seemed to be doing.

But at least John turned out to be all right. He had a sense of humor.

She found that they could talk about all these machinations of the older

women and laugh outright. Nevertheless, he was attracted to her, despite his

amusement over his mother's urgings, and the realization unnerved Maria.

She only wanted a friend in him. But it was obvious that he wanted

something more. Yet he was kind. He was different. He'd been born here and

tended to scoff at his mother's traditional values and make fun of them. It

helped Maria feel more relaxed as his jokes reduced the tension that

invariably built up inside her when they were alone together. But under the

surface he did desire her, and very much so too, something she could hardly

miss. She felt foolish and vulnerable since she had no idea how best to handle

the situation. And all along, her Aunt smiling and pushing her and helping

her chose smart clothes and urging her, against all expectations, to put on a

touch more make up and not to be afraid of wearing a lower cleavage and

giving her hips a swivel. A suggestion which utterly scandalized Maria

coming from her Aunt as it did. But John, she kept being reminded, was a

good boy, an honorable boy.

"There now!" She admired her niece as the doorbell rang indicating John

had come to pick her up, right on time as always. "And don't forget..." She'd


added in an urgent whisper as Maria was about to go out. "Men like a girl to

be playful."

"Aunt!" She feigned indignation, more amused, however, than irritated by

the remark.

"But not too playful..." She warned, though unable to suppress a

mischievous little grin as she said this. "Now go on." She shooed her to the

door with a maternal spank of encouragement on her bottom.

It troubled her when he got amorous. She didn't like to play the prude, and

furthermore she did realize she couldn't go on keeping him at arm's length

any longer. She could simply stop seeing him, of course. But what would she

tell her Aunt? How could she wriggle out of this painlessly? On the other

hand, why should she choose to stop seeing him? There was nothing wrong

with him. He could be charming and entertaining and above all he seemed

very warm hearted. And he was the only person around her age she knew

here and she really got on with him and laughed with him a lot. Only when

he got amorous, it troubled her. He slipped his arm round her waist as they

walked along. He did do this kind of thing whenever he could. It was natural

that he should. But she tended to go rigid every time he touched her more

intimately, though she never protested outright, since she'd feel like too much

of a prim old maid if she did. Yet she never encouraged him either. Far from

it. But he tended to interpret this as shyness, virginal modesty perhaps, and it

in no way seemed to deter him.

That evening he was in raptures. They'd been dancing and the close

physical contact with her had obviously aroused him.

"You look so beautiful.." He murmured, his eyes half glazed as he stroked

her hair gently back away from her face.

"It's dark." She tried to joke it away. "You can hardly see me. That's why..."


"No, stop." He said quickly bringing his finger to her lips to silence her.

"Please." He said earnestly. "Don't joke. I mean it."

"Look John, I..." She wanted to be truthful, but if only she could know for

herself what the truth was. What was it? She liked John. She liked him very

much. Then why the hell couldn't she let herself go with him? Why couldn't

she let herself sink into his arms as he ached for her to do and forget herself in

his loving embrace? Why? Why not? All for some stupid mirage that just

wouldn't let her go? It was all so strange, all so mysterious. She didn't want to

hurt him. He'd been so kind and affectionate. Yet she felt she'd be unable not

to, as though some strange forces beyond her control had her entirely in their

thrall.

"What is it dearest?" He asked, calling her 'dearest' for the first time. It

startled her. She looked at him in surprise. But he just smiled, put his arms

round her, and kissed her. Properly, on the lips, in the mouth, he kissed her

with a passion all the more powerful for having been pent up and suppressed

for so long. It took her aback. He'd kissed her before, but never like this, in the

mouth. It had been affectionate pecks on the cheek, or careful goodnight

kisses bestowed fleetingly upon the lips. Nothing like this before. She found

herself recoiling after the first flowing gush of his desire for her had given

vent to itself.

"John, please, I..." She stuttered in a fluster as she pulled herself abruptly

free from his embrace. His face fell. A look of deep pain clouded his eyes.

"Maria?" He said hoarsely. "Please don't tell me I'm going too fast!" He

protested, then spoke more quietly as he said, "I've been holding myself back

for so long..." sounding anguished.

A sharp feeling of remorse jabbed her in the chest.

"Oh John, please try to understand." She begged, though wondered what it

was she wanted him to understand when she could hardly understand any of

this herself. He looked at her and nodded quietly.


"Yes. I keep forgetting. Things are different back home. Girls don't feel

comfortable with a man. I was told to behave with restraint." He admitted

with a sheepish grin as he inadvertently divulged he had been talking about

how best to woo her with his mother, after all. "Girls back home don't feel free

with a man."

"Oh no!" She couldn't help blurting out. "It's not like that. Not any more. We

don't behave like nuns, you know! Things are as free back home, today, as

they are here, if not freer." She asserted.

"Then?" He looked puzzled. "I don't understand. What is it Maria?"

"It's just... I... It's me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't..."

"There's nothing wrong with you!" He found himself warmly reassuring

her, she seemed so stressed up and vulnerable. "You probably just need a little

more time." He suggested, lightly caressing her cheek in comfort.

"Perhaps." She said, feeling suffocated. "Perhaps I do, John. I don't know. I

really don't know!" She almost wailed in anguish and to her horror found

herself bursting into tears.

"Hey!" It took him by surprise. "Don't cry! For God's sake, Maria, please

don't cry!" He sounded extremely distressed by all this. "Look..." He said,

running his fingers nervously through his hair. "I can wait." He said quietly.

"My intentions are honorable, Maria, I assure you." He felt the need to

emphasize.

She shot her look up into his face.

"Oh no... No, John..." She said reaching hesitantly up to touch his shoulder.

"I never doubted your intentions for a moment! All this... well... Oh God! I

don't know what the hell's got into me, John, but I do know it's got nothing at

all to do with honor, neither yours nor mine!"

"It's okay." He reassured. "Take your time." He said, looking into her eyes.

"I won't rush you." He tried to sound calm, but he was obviously very

disturbed himself by all this. She looked up into his eyes apologetically, but


said nothing. What could she say? The nicer he was about all this mess, the

worse it made her feel.

It was a hectic day at work. Several shipments of orders coming in and

customers milling around to view the merchandise. Her Uncle's staff were

overstretched trying to keep everything under control. Maria was left to man

the main office single handedly. Her Uncle had some reservations about

leaving her completely on her own, but she assured him she could manage.

She knew what to do. She'd been working with him long enough now to have

picked up all she needed to know. He nodded reluctantly and left her. After

all, his presence was much more necessary down at the warehouse to receive

the incoming shipments. Though she'd assured her Uncle she could manage

perfectly well on her own, it was not without a little nervousness she set

about the day's work. But as the day wore on and she saw she really could

handle all she was called on to do, her confidence began to build up. By

afternoon the hectic pace had slowed down, she'd done all the necessary

paperwork and her Uncle phoned up to her to ask if everything was all right

and tell her he was taking some of the shippers out for a beer now and would

be back in a while if she was sure she didn't need him.

"I told you I could manage!" She was proud to be able to boast and then

went off to make herself a coffee to relax over till he got back and they set

about making the final entries for the day before closing.

When she came back to the office, he was the last person she expected

to see. She couldn't restrain herself from gasping aloud. Her hand shook

abruptly and she very nearly spilt her cup of steamy coffee as her jaw

dropped. Ted Gratsos was standing about awkwardly in the main office. He

looked equally agitated when she walked in and he turned to her, obviously

expecting her Uncle and not her. His eyes flashed into hers, but he just looked

at her like that, intently, unable to speak. She managed to rest her cup on the


desk spilling only a little despite the sudden quivering that had gripped her

whole body on coming across him so unexpectedly like that.

"Mr. Gratsos..." She managed to say, but her voice came out very hoarsely

and she had to clear her throat before carrying on. "Can I help you?" She

managed to ask in her politest professional way.

He lowered his eyes and scratched his thick neck nervously before

mumbling,

"Well, no, I... I want to see the boss." and seemed about to shuffle off out of

the office, but she was still standing between the door and himself and this

seemed to inhibit him utterly. He cleared his own throat in a nervous reaction

that thrilled her deeply, uncontrollably, for the unmistakable evidence that he

too was affected by her. She felt a shudder in her limbs, but managed willfully

to take control of the situation.

"Ah, well, please. Do take a seat. He'll be back any minute now." She found

herself saying even though she knew very well her Uncle wouldn't be back

before a half hour at best. She blushed almost as soon as she'd said this. How

could she be behaving so brazenly and with a man with a reputation like that

of Ted Gratsos? He shot his piercing suspicious look up into her eyes again.

Her face flushed, her eyes were wild with her inner excitement, her heart

pounded inside her. She needed to swallow her saliva down hard. This time it

was she who felt compelled to avert her eyes from his.

"Would you like a coffee?" She offered politely, though her voice couldn't

help wavering as she did so.

"No. I..." He began, but then cut himself short abruptly and said, "Yes.

Okay. Get me one." before sitting himself heavily in one of the visitor's

armchairs of her Uncle's office.

This was extraordinary. So extraordinary it began to scare her. She

found herself drawing several deep breaths to steady herself before making

his coffee. Her whole body reacted to his presence alone. She began to shake


and perspire and her guts tightened up, simply when she saw him. She'd

never felt like that ever before. She didn't feel anything like that even with

John, even when he touched her and kissed her as he'd begun doing more and

more frequently when they went out now. Even when he occasionally got

carried away by his desire for her and embraced her more passionately. She

tried to concentrate on John and his physical embrace as an antidote to this

insanity. She tried to conjure up in her mind feeling affected by his kissing,

but it didn't work. Nothing worked. It was all as insubstantial and as tasteless

as a passing adolescent dream. She drew her deep breaths again and went

back into the office where Ted Gratsos had crossed his legs comfortably and

was leafing through a woodwork magazine.

He didn't look up at her when she brought his coffee and set it down

carefully on the coffee table beside him. He merely grunted incoherent

acknowledgement of its arrival which she would have felt as being extremely

rude had it been anyone other than Ted Gratsos at that moment. She retreated

quietly to behind the desk where she sat down and began to fidget nervously

with the paperwork, though her mind was in no condition to concentrate on

work. A slight quivering continued to flutter in her chest as she heard him

rustle the pages of his magazine and slurp his coffee in loud relish. She could

see her hands trembling as she handled the sheets of paper and again she was

caught by a sense of panic at the effect this strange dark man could have on

her. And then she realized he was looking at her. She didn't look up from her

desk, but she felt his eyes on her in a powerful, yet silent gaze. She heard him

shuffle his feet and put down the magazine. And then he spoke to her.

"New here, aren't you?" He asked.

She darted her eyes up into his.

"Yes. I... uh..." She cleared her throat nervously again and repeated a limp,

weak sounding, "Yes." which made her boil over with frustration at herself for

being so utterly inept.


He stood up, looking as though he needed to stretch his legs and took a

few paces.

"Where did you come from?" He asked conversationally, looking out of the

window behind her and not at her, however. "Greece, or another part of the

country?" He didn't sound as if he were at all interested but she answered him

anyway.

"Greece." She said quietly and he turned on her quite suddenly, his eyes

flashing into hers.

"What did you come to this God forsaken country for, girl?" He sounded

angry. She gaped at him, thoroughly startled by the unexpectedness of his

remark and the vehemence with which it had been made. She opened her

mouth but found she was unable to make herself speak. "It's a filthy place."

He muttered turning back to look out of the window again. "Filthy..." He said

and shook his head.

He was standing at an angle behind her, looking darkly out into the

grey road outside. Her blood began racing round her body in a blind panic.

His proximity disturbed her so much she found her breath had quickened

nervously and she tried hard to concentrate on her work in order to recover

her cool.

"What did you come for?" He asked again, coming round to perch himself

up on the desk in an over familiar way, his leg dangling in the air, and looked

down at her. "To get yourself a husband?" He asked sarcastically as he pulled

a set of worry beads out of his pocket and began flipping them lazily over his

fingers. His look was insolent and derisive as he asked. Perhaps even

provocative. A welter of conflicting emotions exploded inside her. She felt

insulted, annoyed, even humiliated by the manner of his asking. Yet his very

question showed he was looking at her as a woman, a woman in search of a

mate, and this flustered her.


"No." She said truthfully enough. "Though..." She began, but cut herself

short.

"Though..?" He coaxed slyly and she looked up into his eyes again and to

her horror heard herself saying,

"It wasn't why I came. But if I do find a man, I won't run away from him."

"Women..." He derided getting up from the desk and looking out of the

window again. "You're all the same."

A feeling of burning indignation flared up inside her.

"Oh yes?" She challenged, sounding suddenly combative. Her tone of voice

surprised him and he swung round to look at her again. There seemed to be a

flicker of amusement in his eyes, something she'd never seen in them before.

A wry little half smile appeared on his lips, and then he said,

"Come for a drink with me."

She looked at him in absolute silence. Her blood receded from her

cheeks and a slight buzzing of dizziness in her ears made her thankful she

was already sitting down.

"I... I... I can't..." She stuttered foolishly, then cleared her throat.

"Oh?" He taunted with a provocative little half smile curving his lips. "I

thought you said you wouldn't run away."

"No!" She reacted furiously. "But I can't leave now. I have a job to do here."

"Okay." He said quietly, looking straight at her as though he were sizing

her up. Then with the same smile that conveyed insolence rather than

anything else, he asked, "Later, then?" making it sound far more like a

dangerous challenge he didn't expect her to take up, than a social invitation.

"Yes." She shot out defiantly in answer, reacting instinctively rather than

thinking.

He looked at her, a slight flicker of surprise in his eyes which turned

into a momentary flash of smug satisfaction. He looked at his watch.


"Okay." He said contriving to sound almost indifferent about it. "I'll be

waiting for you on the corner when you knock off." He stated, casually

indicating the corner he had in mind from the office window, with a jerk of

his head.

She quivered and a spate of emotions and reactions set her body afire.

She gulped down her feelings and nodded silently in acceptance, unable to

say anything at that moment.

"Good." He murmured sitting down to wait again, then added, sounding

conspiratorial about it. "Be discreet. I don't want your boss to see us together.

Understood?" and then picked up the magazine to flick idly through it again

till her Uncle finally breezed in through the door, slightly flushed from the

beer, but happy at the pace of his business that day.

It was a cold, chilly evening. A slight drizzle of freezing drops indicative of

snow to follow froze the bitter night air even more. Maria's pulse was racing.

She felt she must be going out of her mind, but something so powerful was

propelling her along, headlong into the cold sleet and dark chill evening to

wait for him on the corner. It was a compulsion. Her whole body was

shaking, but not with the cold. Her face was flushed, but not from the chill

evening air. She must have come early because there was no sign of him. She

paced up and down to cover her agitation rather than to keep warm. She

didn't need that. She was already burning inside. All she could think of was

his face. Those dark piercing eyes that radiated danger. The kind of danger

she just longed to hurl herself straight into. A dark mysterious man who

could electrify her by his mere presence. His sharp glance flashing in her

direction positively blew her up into flames, like leaking gas coming into

contact with a lighted match. She felt dizzy. Her temples throbbed with the

excitement of anticipation. She had no idea what might happen with Ted


Gratsos that evening, but she hoped, indeed found herself longing, for the

worst. A gust of freezing wind blew into her face, momentarily clearing her

mind. A moment of panic gripped her. What was she doing? Was she

completely out of her mind? Waiting for a man like Ted Gratsos on a dark

corner to be taken God only knew where by him? Yet she couldn't, she

wouldn't, resist. But time ticked on and still there was no sign of him. Instead

of filling her with relief, the feeling that he might not show up after all, threw

her into a new panic.

She kept glancing at her watch nervously, pulling back her thick

sheepskin glove to do so. Five, ten, fifteen minutes went by and still no sign of

him. Her anguish was so great she didn't even realize her feet and face were

beginning to feel the cold. He couldn't, he wouldn't, surely he wouldn't stand

her up. He wanted her too. She knew that. She'd felt it in her guts. His dark

eyes on her in the office. His sarcastic, provocative little half smile and the

slow lazy way he'd flicked his worry beads over his fingers while sizing her

up. He wouldn't have asked her to come for a drink with him if he hadn't

desired her. It was that kind of an invitation, after all. There'd been nothing

social or friendly about it, still less did it have anything to do with business. It

had been a clear, undisguised call of desire. It had flickered in his eyes. In the

way he'd looked at her. It had lingered on his lips the way he'd smiled when

she'd so unexpectedly responded to his call and accepted his invitation.

There was no mistaking that Ted Gratsos wanted her just as much as

she wanted him. A raw primitive longing. An attraction so strong it turned

her guts and made her body tremble at the mere thought that soon, very soon,

she'd be with him, alone with him, completely and utterly exposed to his

burning desire. Her heart pounded and the blood raced crazily round her

body. Soon, very soon, he'd be touching her, holding her, fondling her. The

mere thought of the heat of his hands on her body made her head spin. What

kind of a man was this? What made her cry out for him so? The extent of his


power over her filled her with awe. She knew she'd do anything, anything he

asked of her, anything at all, even go away with him, disappear from the face

of the earth with him. A whirl of emotions and feelings of longing and

eagerness shook her. Go away with him? But he wouldn't want that of her.

Just a night. Perhaps a few days at the most. Whatever. She'd do it. Whatever

he wanted of her, she knew, she'd do it. Only God! He was nowhere in sight

and it was already well over an hour after the time they'd arranged to meet.

"Hey, Maraki!" Her Aunt seemed worried when she let herself in. "Where

have you been? It's so late!"

"Oh, I bumped into some friends from the school and we did a little

window shopping..." She managed to say, even though her body was

trembling and her teeth were chattering.

Her Aunt shook her head in disapproval.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk!" She uttered then took hold of her niece's hands. "You're

freezing." She said. "And you look so pale. Really Maria. This was no night to

go window shopping! Now go take a hot shower quickly and come for a cup

of hot tea. You need to warm up."

Maria nodded quickly, pleased to be able to get away and remain on

her own just then because she knew, in a moment, she'd burst into tears. Hot

burning tears of pain and frustration that mingled with the water from the

shower pelting down over her head that she'd turned on full force.

Her Uncle and Aunt were sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a cup of

tea together. He seemed to be elated and was excitedly telling her about the

good day he'd had at his timber yard. Maria felt better after her shower, but

her body was still shaky inside. She sat down at the table with them quietly

taking the cup her Aunt had prepared for her. Her Uncle was talking about

his day at work. Maria sipped her hot tea carefully. Her head was still

buzzing from her long cold wait in the drizzly night which had turned out to


be for nothing. She wasn't really listening, more lost in her own thoughts and

the smarting pain, indeed anguish, of having been stood up like that, against

all expectations.

"But you should have seen Ted Gratsos' face when I told him Maria was my

niece!" He declared and started laughing over how funny it had looked.

A bolt of electricity shot through her body at the mention of his name.

She looked up at her Uncle, unable to hide the sudden flame in her eyes, but

he was still laughing and didn't really notice her expression.

"But why?" Her Aunt was confused. "Why did it surprise him so much?"

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" Her Uncle declared, turning to her and making

her feel positively uneasy over what it was he felt was so obvious. Her cheeks

burned with agitation. But her Uncle patted her fondly and proudly on the

shoulder. "She's so good at her work! Really. Got such a sharp mind..." He

grinned his praise at her.

"Sharp minds run in our family!" Her Aunt was quick to declare and her

Uncle laughed again. "But I still don't get it. Why should that have surprised

him?"

"Because if you've got family working for you, people think it's because

you're only doing them a favor. They don't expect them to be smart. But me..."

He beamed like a child. "I'm smarter! I've not only got family working for me,

but she also happens to be the best there is!" He said patting her heartily on

the shoulder again.

"Oh, Uncle, please..." She said looking down and muttering into her tea. She

felt she was going to be sick.

"But you should have seen his face!" and laughter echoing through a hollow

room. Laughter. "His face!" A dark drizzly night. A figure in the mist, a figure

that vanishes as she tries to approach it and laughter, more laughter. Battling

against a gale force wind. There's no stopping her. She has to get there. She


will get there. The wind blowing her hair back, blowing harshly into her face.

The more she feels it blowing her back, the more determined she becomes to

fight against it. It stings her face, blows her hair backwards, and all the time,

in the distance, the shadow of a figure in the mist, an elusive figure that seems

to recede as she tries to approach it. In the struggle to press forward, her coat

gets blown off, her coat, then her scarf, then garment by garment all of her

clothes till she's naked, completely naked, battling hard against the wind.

Then her breath stops short and her jaw drops. The figure coming towards

her becomes Ted Gratsos. A flicker of sarcasm in his eye that flares up into a

flame of desire as he sees her before him, her clothes blown off her body by

the raging wind. She reaches out to touch him in desperation, but though she

sees him, her hand feels nothing. He isn’t there. The face shimmers and

crumbles away. She begins running, running desperately against the wind,

running after a shadow, an elusive, insubstantial shadow and she feels cold,

cold and shivery, naked as she is in an icy north wind blowing her back, back

despite her efforts, the dark featureless figure going further and further away

till it disappears completely in the distance and she shouts after it at the top of

her voice, she shouts at it to stop, stop and wait in a panic that makes her

break out into a cold sweat despite the iciness of the wind in her face and all

over her body. In a sudden start she found herself sitting up bolt upright and

screaming, though her scream came out more in a gurgle than in a shout. The

light snapped on and before she could recover from the stark confusion or

even realize just quite where she was or what had happened, her Aunt was

beside her, touching her forehead and face, stroking her ruffled hair back and

embracing her in affectionate comfort.

"Settle down, settle down." She urged sounding extremely anxious,

however. "It must have been a dream. Only a dream."

"A dream..?" Maria asked in a daze, still trying hard to recover, her brow

covered in perspiration.


"My child, you're burning!" Her Aunt exclaimed in alarm, touching her face

and her neck. "You must be in a fever."

"No, no. It's all right. I'm all right." She tried to reassure.

"No, but you're burning all over!" She insisted. "I'll make you some tea and

bring you some aspirin."

"No, it's all right... I'm not..."

"Hush!" She ordered with maternal authority, helping her lie back in bed

again and covering her up well. "Settle down now and do as you're told." She

sounded severe but her hand on her forehead conveyed great affection in her

gentle caress. "This was no night to go window shopping, Maria, really! This

isn't Greece, you know. The weather isn't gentle here. On nights like this it can

be quite lethal!"

She played along with her Aunt's conviction that she'd fallen victim to a virus

attack, not only because she didn't have the strength to argue with her, but

because it gave her a good excuse to stay home in the evenings and not go out

with John Lembessis. His repeated calls were mostly answered by her Aunt

anyway who delighted in giving him a detailed health report on her. But she

did put her foot down about going to work. She was well enough to do that,

she insisted. And it was not just that she didn't have the heart to abandon her

Uncle in the midst of the mini business boom he was enjoying, it was also that

the office was the only place Ted Gratsos knew for certain where to find her.

He may have had very good reasons for standing her up, not remotely

connected to the shocking discovery that she was actually the boss's niece and

she needed to give him every chance to look her up or phone her at the very

least to make amends or renew his invitation.

But he didn't. He neither showed up nor called nor endeavored to

indicate in any other way that he did want to renew any kind of contact with

her. Quite the contrary, in fact. She knew she ought to be relieved and half the


time she convinced herself that she was relieved because she knew she'd be

unable to resist the sheer madness of rushing headlong into his evil and

dangerous embrace which would only lead to grief in the end, if only he

wanted her to. But the rest of the time it stung her and pained her and filled

her with anguish that he obviously didn't want her to. After all, all he'd have

to do would be snap his fingers and she'd come running. She knew that. And

he knew it too. And it was no consolation to her that his motives for backing

down might have stemmed from some warped sense of honor rather than

from any loss of interest, still less desire for her. If anything, that only made it

feel worse.

"Won't you come with us?" Her Aunt urged yet again as she got herself

ready. They were going to spend Sunday with friends just out of town.

"No thanks." She said quietly, sipping at her coffee at the kitchen table. "I

really don't feel up to it."

Her Aunt touched her throat with the back of her hand, then her cheek

in concern. Maria smiled.

"I'm not in a fever." She reassured. "Just need to get my strength back." and

her Aunt nodded.

"Well, okay..." She began but the door bell rang and she went to answer it.

She came back beaming and behind her John Lembessis walked in holding a

large bunch of flowers. It startled Maria since she'd not even thought about

him and had avoided talking to him on the phone throughout the whole

week. Feeling stunned and surprised she didn't take the flowers he offered

her, but her Aunt was quick enough to take them herself, ostensibly to put

them in water.

"Sit down, sit down my boy." She urged kindly. "You don't mind we're in

the kitchen." She smiled, then added mischievously, "I don't need to be formal

with you, after all. We consider you almost one of the family!" and turned to

tend to the flowers.


It embarrassed him almost as much as it did Maria. He looked at her

apologetically, as though this were all his fault and his face colored with his

feelings.

"No... no thanks..." He stuttered. "I came to ask Maria if she'd like to come

for a drive out in the country." He said, careful to address her Aunt, then

looked out of the window. "It's a nice day."

"Why yes. That's a wonderful idea. I'm sure it will do her the world of

good! She needs the fresh air."

But John looked at her inquiringly for her own answer. His expression

conveyed the awkward uncertainty he was feeling at that moment.

"Thanks very much." She said quietly looking him straight in the eye. "But I

couldn't. I'm really not feeling up to it."

The young man hung his head in disappointment.

"Oh come on, Maria..." Her Aunt tried to push her again.

"No. Really. I told you before I'm not feeling myself yet." She said in a tone

that brooked no more arguments. John nodded, heaved a sigh, then said,

"Well, all right. I'd best be on my way then..." Sounding deeply

disappointed but resigned to rejection.

"Sit down!" Her Aunt ordered. "Have a coffee at least before you go! Maria,

can you get it? Your Uncle will be furious if I make him wait a moment

longer!"

Maria couldn't help smiling at the sheer transparency of the pretext,

nevertheless she got up.

"Run along Aunt." She said. "Of course I'll look after John. Don't worry!"

She laughed and added, "Have a good day!" as her Aunt hurried out of the

kitchen.

John looked at her in silence. His eyes were on her in tacit confusion all

the time she set about getting some coffee for him.


"Are you sure you don't mind my staying?" He asked after the front door

had slammed shut indicating they'd finally been left alone. She looked at him

curiously as she brought his coffee and sat down again at the table with him.

"Why should I mind?" She asked.

He looked at her, took a nervous sip from his cup, scorched his lips and

then came out with it.

"Oh hell, Maria! I've gone about this all wrong, haven't I?" He finally

blurted out looking into her eyes pleadingly. She frowned in

incomprehension. "It's just that... It's just..." he began. It had obviously been

choking him up for quite a while. He finally let it all out in a stream of

emotion. "To be honest with you, Maria, to be quite honest, when my mother

first started talking to me about you and telling me what a good match it

would be and all that rubbish, I just treated the whole business as a joke. I

only came along to your Uncle's party to put a stop to her grumbling and to

be able to tell her I just wasn't attracted to you and end this wretched match

making once and for all!" He declared and Maria couldn't help laughing with

him over it too. He noticed the renewed sparkle in her eye and took courage

as he went on.

"But then..." He said quietly, looking warmly into her eyes. "I found I

couldn't say that truthfully because I was attracted to you. Very much so.

From the first moment I saw you." He sounded very intense and it disturbed

her. She averted her eyes and looked down into her coffee cup. "And that's

when the confusion began, I suppose. I didn't know how best to go about it. I

was damned if I was going to comply with my mother's idea of a proper

courtship!" He declared. "But then, somehow, it was difficult to get into the

usual routine of dating with you. I don't know why. I felt I just couldn't get

close to you. Every time I tried to, I only seemed able to achieve a greater

distance between us instead! Then I tried to play it more traditionally, taking

you out formally on the tacit assumption this was leading to marriage, but


somehow that didn't work either!" He sounded pained at his failure, not

accusing. "I just made a God awful mess of things Maria, and I'm sorry. But..."

He said, then admitted softly. "I've never been so in love before in my life."

Sounding anguished.

His admission took her totally by surprise and caught her in the guts.

She looked into his face feeling apologetic herself.

"But it's not your fault, John! You didn't do anything wrong! God forbid..."

She felt the need to reassure him. "It's just..." She began. "It was just that..." She

fumbled over quite what to say to explain the inexplicable.

"There was someone back home." He concluded dejectedly.

"What?" She looked at him in confusion. He looked up in a sudden burst of

renewed hope, but felt the need to ask,

"Wasn't there someone else back home? Someone you loved?"

Maria laughed outright at that.

"No! Of course not!" Then she looked earnestly into his uncertain eyes.

"Would I have left if there had been?"

"Then..." He couldn't help smiling as his spirits picked up spontaneously.

"But... Oh damn this Maria! What went wrong?" He sounded desperate, his

cheeks flushed with his emotion. She looked at him then leaned back in her

chair.

"I think I felt I was being pushed." She began slowly. "My Aunt was so

eager!"

"Don't I know?" He laughed.

"And the last thing I wanted was a traditional arranged marriage!" She

declared.

"Yes. I can understand that. That was what I wanted to kick against myself,

too..." He agreed eagerly.

"But... There was something else too." She said with difficulty, swallowing

down her saliva and paling slightly with the effort.


"Yes?" He urged quietly, losing his nerve at what she might say. She looked

at him, smiled bitterly, but then said,

"A dream..." She cleared her throat, and then elaborated. "A dream of

passion." He frowned in utter incomprehension. He didn't know what to say.

"Perhaps all young women have crazy dreams of wild passion. Perhaps it's

part of maturing. Perhaps..."

"But I don't understand. What was this dream? How did it affect our

relationship?"

“Well, I…” She faltered, really at a total loss as to how to go about

explaining all this, but his brow darkened in pain as he concluded,

“And you couldn’t feel it for me.” She looked at him and he elaborated.

“Passion. You found you didn’t feel that for me.” He said again sounding

distinctly dejected.

“I…” She began but her jaw dropped and she fell silent. He drank some

more of his coffee awkwardly and she stood up abruptly to take a drink of

water. When she came back to the table she stood behind him and put her

hands on his shoulders. “I think I was afraid.” She said in an attempt to fudge

the issue which she now deeply regretted having even brought up.

“Afraid?” He asked turning to look up at her. “Afraid of feeling passion

even though you wanted it?”

“Well, I…” She fumbled for words that could convey some kind of meaning

at that moment. She looked into his eyes. He was kind, he was loving, and he

was desperate for her, despite the way she had consistently held herself back

from him. At that moment she realized just how much pain she had been

causing him. For no reason. And the last thing she wanted to do was hurt

him. The whole thing couldn't help moving her. As she stood behind him

holding his shoulders, she squeezed them in a gesture half way between

affection and nervousness. Then, looking away from his eyes and over his

head, she said,


“Lets go to bed…” in a hoarse, nervous whisper, thoroughly astounding

him.

“What?” He exclaimed jumping up from his seat at the kitchen table and

turning towards her.

“I… I said…” She stuttered with difficulty. It had not been an easy thing for

her to say to him.

“I know what you said! But… Do you mean it?” He needed to ask, but she

just looked up into his eyes quivering slightly as she swallowed down

nervously. His grip tightened round her arms he’d taken hold of and his

breath grew quicker. A few beads of sweat appeared on his forehead and then

he asked in a whisper, “Now?” and she assented with her eyes. “Here?” That

seemed to disturb him, but she just shrugged that her Aunt and Uncle had left

for the day. Nevertheless, he still needed to ask, “And you’re not afraid any

more?”, which evoked an awkward titter of a laugh from her in her acute

inner agitation at that moment and he burst out laughing too, in loud nervous

relief.

Though it was bright and sunny outside, the room was quite dark inside since

they’d pulled the blinds shut. John was asleep in her arms and she felt a little

drowsy too. Instinctively she caressed his ruffled hair gently and kissed his

brow softly. She felt strange, but serene, in fact happy even, in her body and

her soul as a quiet sigh of inner satisfaction escaped her lips. In the end

perhaps it had been nothing more than a strange elusive dream which meant

nothing to her, she hoped, any more.

.............................ENDS.

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