Advanced Interpersonal Skills Advanced Interpersonal Skills For Customer ServiceFor Customer Service

Queens University Library

April 2006

What vs. HowWhat vs. How

•What – content, data/information, stuff on paper

•How – process, talking to each other, influence, action, dealing with difficult people, working together, etc.

Effective Communication = Achieving goals/objectives

Emotions & Communication in Customer Service Context

•Understanding and being understood by others

•Managing our emotions/ reactions:

o Start with yourself o What is my role? – What can I do?o My limitations – Do I have the whole picture?o Self Awareness – Coping, support, locus of control

What Makes Communication Effective?What Makes Communication Effective?

•Objective based communication - What do you want?

•Managing perceptions - Perception is Fact

•Eliminating Ambiguity & Understanding

What Do You Want?What Do You Want?

•Venting/reacting vs. What you want

•Not what you don’t want

•Justice/fairness vs. goal/objective

•Why ask why?

Managing PerceptionsManaging Perceptions

• You are what others see

• Rather than debate it…address it!

• How? ….Ask!

Perception is Fact

Ambiguity & Effective CommunicationAmbiguity & Effective Communication

Often

Respect

Difficult

Listen

“Deal with” difficult person

Eliminating Ambiguity Eliminating Ambiguity

• Throw it back to confirm

• Ask

• Don’t use “understand”

Common BarriersCommon Barriers

•Blame, fault & personal responsibility

•Focussing on obstacle vs. objective

•The danger of self-fulfilling prophecies and assumptions

•Action vs. reaction & getting “hooked”

How Does This Affect You?How Does This Affect You?

Frustrations you have in communicating with others?

•When you are trying to get clarity on something?

•When you are giving direction/instruction?

•When you are explaining limitations?

•When you are trying to change “how” others talk to you?

• When “dealing with” difficult students/others?

Practical IdeasPractical Ideas

•Managing perceptions and expectations –Know yourself - we all have learning to do–“I” vs. “You” – ownership–Talk about what you can do, not what you can’t do

•Focus on what you want –Ask self “What does success look like here?”

More Practical IdeasMore Practical Ideas

•Accept personal responsibility–End blame and fault–Take initiative–Don’t try to change others - you can’t!

•Aim to “Manage” conflict –Winning or solving - make the choice–Focus on problem not person–Avoid defensiveness–Choose your battles

More Practical IdeasMore Practical Ideas

Up Front & Overt Communication

•No Mind Reading

•Stop “Fishing”!

•The Hard Stuff is The Most Useful

More Practical IdeasMore Practical Ideas

•Use questions to listen, clarify and understand your own perspective and those of others

–Everyone’s favorite topic

–Create accountability

–Unpack ambiguity - end misunderstanding

Some Final ThoughtsSome Final Thoughts

• Be The Change You Want To See In Others!

• If You Want Different Stuff, Ya Gotta Do Different Stuff!