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Agenda
• Analytical Report
• Slides
• Exercise 5.3
• Letter Writing (20 Minutes)
• Cluster Diagramming vs Outlining
• Proofreading
• Analytical Report
Chapter 5
Preparing to Write Business Messages
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e
Copyright © 2006
Business writing is . . .
• Purposeful.Purposeful. It solves problems and
conveys information.
• Economical.Economical. It is concise.
• Reader oriented.Reader oriented. It focuses on the
receiver, not the sender.
Guffey’s 3-x-3 Writing Process
• Phase 1: PrewritingAnalyzing, anticipating, adapting
• Phase 2: WritingResearching, organizing, composing
• Phase 3: RevisingRevising, proofreading, evaluating
Analyzing and Anticipating
• Analyze the taskIdentify the purpose
• Anticipate the audiencePrimary receivers?
Secondary receivers?
• Select the best channelImportance of the message?
Feedback required?
Permanent record required?
Cost of the channel?
Degree of formality?
Adapting to Task and Audience
• Spotlight receiver benefits (the warranty starts working for you immediately).
• Cultivate the “you” view (you will receive your order).
• Use sensitive language avoiding gender, race, age, and disability biases (office workers, not office girls).
Adapting to Task and Audience
• Express thoughts positively (you will be happy to, not you won't be sorry that).
• Use familiar words (salary, not remuneration).
• Use precise, vigorous words (fax me, not contact me).
Developing Reader Benefits
Sender-focused
“We are requiring all staffers to complete these forms in compliance with company policy.”
Receiver-focused
“Please complete these forms so that you will be eligible for health and dental benefits.”
Developing Reader Benefits
Sender-focused
“Because we need more space for our new inventory, we’re staging a two-for-one sale.”
Receiver-focused
“You can buy a year’s supply of paper and pay for only six months’ worth during our two-for-one sale.”
Hidden Negative Meanings
You are wrong . . . .(I am right.)
You do not understand . . . .(You are not very bright.)
Your delay . . . .(You are at fault.)
You forgot to . . . .(You are not only inefficient but also stupid and careless.)
Use Bias-Free Language
Gender-Biasedfemale attorney
waitress
man hours
workman
Improvedattorney
server
working hours
worker
BiasedEach employee has his ID card.
ImprovedEach employee has an ID card.
All employees have ID cards.
Use Courteous Language
Less CourteousEveryone must return these forms by January 1.
More CourteousPlease return the forms by January 1.
Less CourteousThis is the second time I’ve had to write!
Why can’t you get my account straight?
More CourteousAttached is my previous letter.
Please help me straighten out this account.
Use Simple, Familiar Language
UnfamiliarWe need to effectuate improvement of our
manuals to better elucidate our training goals.
FamiliarWe need to improve our manuals to clarify
our training goals.
UnfamiliarSales reps generally conjecture when making
sales projections for homogeneous territories.
FamiliarSales reps generally guess when projecting
sales in similar territories.
• Avoid litigation by using especially careful language in four areas:
• Investment information
• Safety information
• Marketing information
• Human resources information
Adapting to Legal Responsibilities
Chapter 6
Organizing and Writing Business Messages
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e
Copyright © 2006
Formal Research Methods
• Access electronically – Internet, databases, CD-ROMs
• Search manually – books, articles, and other secondary sources
• Investigate primary sources – interviews, surveys, focus groups
• Experiment scientifically – tests with experimental and control groups
Organizing Data
• Listing and outlining
• Grouping ideas into patterns.• Direct pattern for receptive audiences• Indirect pattern for unreceptive audiences
Audience Response Determines Pattern of Organization
If pleased If neutral
DIRECT PATTERN
Good News orMain Idea
If mildly interested
Audience Response Determines Pattern of Organization
If unwilling oruninterested
If hostile
INDIRECT PATTERN
If displeased ordisappointed
Bad News orMain Idea
Using a Cluster Diagram toGenerate Ideas
1. In the center of a clean sheet of paper, write your topic name and circle it.
2. Around the circle, record any topic ideas that pop into your mind.
3. Circle each separate area.
4. Avoid censoring ideas.
5. If ideas seem related, join them with lines; don’t spend time on organization just yet.
Organizing Cluster Diagram Ideas Into Subclusters
• Analyze the idea generated in the original cluster diagram.
• Cross out ideas that are obviously irrelevant; simplify and clarify.
• Add new ideas that seem appropriate.
• Study the ideas for similarities.
Tips
• Group similar ideas into classifications (such as Purpose, Content, Development, and Form).
• If the organization seems clear at this point, prepare an outline.
• For further visualization, make subcluster circles around each classification.
Organizing Cluster Diagram Ideas Into Subclusters
Tips
Creating Effective Sentences
• Recognize phrases and clauses.• Use short sentences.• Emphasize important ideas.• Use the active voice for most sentences.• Use the passive voice to deemphasize
the performer and/or to be tactful.• Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers.
Recognizing Phrases and Clauses
• Clauses have subjects and verbs; phrases do not.
• Independent clauses are complete; dependent clauses are not.
• Phrases and dependent clauses cannot function as sentences.
• Independent Clause: They were eating cold pizza.• Dependent Clause: that they want to return for a refund• Phrase: to return for a refund
Using Short Sentences
Sentence Length8 words
15 words
19 words
28 words
Comprehension Rate100%
90%
80%
50%
Source: American Press Institute
Emphasizing Important Ideas
• Position the most important idea at the beginning of the sentence.
• Make sure the most important idea is the subject of the sentence.
• Place the main idea in a short sentence.
Use the Active Voice forMost Sentences
• Active voice: We lost money.
• Active voice: I sent the e-mail message yesterday.
(The subject is the performer.)
Use the Passive Voice To Deemphasize the Performer
and/or To Be Tactful• Passive voice: Money was lost (by us).
• Passive voice: The e-mail message was sent yesterday (by me).
(Passive voice test: Ask “By whom?” If you can fill in the performer, the verb is probably in the passive voice.)
• Drafting effective paragraphs• Discuss only one topic in each paragraph.
• Arrange sentences in a strategic plan.
• Link ideas to build coherence.
• Use transitional expressions for coherence.
• Compose short paragraphs for effective business messages.
Effective Paragraphs
• Discussing only one topic in each paragraph
• Group similar ideas together.
• Start a new paragraph for each new topic.
Effective Paragraphs
• Direct Plan: main sentence followed by supporting sentences (for defining, classifying, illustrating, and describing ideas)
• Pivoting Plan: limiting sentences, main sentence, supporting sentences (for comparing and contrasting)
• Arranging Sentences in a Strategic Plan
Effective Paragraphs
• Using transitional expressions for coherence
• Recommended expressions:• additionally
• also
• as a result
• for example
• in other words
• therefore
Effective Paragraphs
Chapter 7
Revising BusinessMessages
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e
Copyright © 2006
Revising for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability
• Keep it simple.
• Keep it conversational.
• Remove opening fillers.
• Eliminate redundancies.
• Reduce compound prepositions.
• Purge empty words.
Revising for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability
• Kick the noun habit.
• Dump trite “business” phrases.
• Develop parallelism (balanced construction).
• Apply graphic highlighting.
• Measure readability.
Keep it simple.
Avoid indirect, pompous language.• Poor: It would not be inadvisable for you to
affix your signature at this point in time.
• Improved: You may sign now.
Keep it conversational.
• Formal: Our Accounting Department takes this opportunity to inform you that we have credited your account for the aforementioned sum.
• Conversational: We have credited your account for $100.
Remove opening fillers.
• Wordy: There are four new menu items we must promote.
• Improved: We must promote four new menu items.
Eliminate redundancies.
• collect together
• contributing factor
• personal opinion
• perfectly clear
Reduce compound prepositions.
• at such time• at which time• due to the fact that• inasmuch as
Reduce to when.
Reduce to when.
Reduce to because.
Reduce to because.
Purge empty words.
• As for the area of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged.
• This is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line.
• Not all students who are registered will attend.
Purge empty words.
• As for the area of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged.
• This is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line.
• Not all students who are [registered] will attend.
Purge empty words.
• As for athletic shoes, profits sagged.
• We have a toll-free service line.
• Not all [registered] students will attend.
Dump trite "business" phrases.
• Trite: Pursuant to your request, enclosed please find a job application.
• Improved: As requested, we have enclosed a job application.
Develop parallelism (balanced construction).
• Not parallel: We can collect information, store it, and later it can be updated.
• Parallel: We can collect, store, and update information.
Use Numbered Lists for “High Skim” Value
Follow these steps to archive a document:
1. Select the document.
2. Select a folder.
3. Provide a file name.
4. Click “Save.”
Use Bulleted Lists for “High Skim” Value
Consumers expect the following information at product Web sites:
• Price
• Quality
• Performance
• Availability
The Complete Process
1. PrewritingAnalyzeAnticipateAdapt
1. PrewritingAnalyzeAnticipateAdapt
2. WritingResearchOrganizeCompose
2. WritingResearchOrganizeCompose
The Complete Process
1. PrewritingAnalyzeAnticipateAdapt
1. PrewritingAnalyzeAnticipateAdapt
2. WritingResearchOrganizeCompose
2. WritingResearchOrganizeCompose
3. RevisingReviseProofreadEvaluate
3. RevisingReviseProofreadEvaluate
1. Prewriting• Analyze: Define your purpose. Select
the most appropriate form (channel). Visualize the audience.
• Anticipate: Put yourself in the reader’s position and predict his or her reaction to this message.
• Adapt: Consider ways to shape the message to benefit the reader, using his or her language.
2. Writing
• Research: Collect data formally and informally. Generate ideas by brainstorming and clustering.
• Organize: Group ideas into a list or an outline. Select the direct or indirect strategy.
• Compose: Write first draft, preferably on a computer.
3. Revising• Revise: Revise for clarity, tone,
conciseness, and vigor. Revise to improve readability.
• Proofread: Proofread to verify spelling, grammar, punctuation, and format. Check for overall appearance.
• Evaluate: Ask yourself whether the final product will achieve its purpose.
Try This
• Read the following sentence counting the F’s as you go:
• Federal fuses are the result of years of scientific study combined with the years of experience
• Write the number of F’s Here: _______