ANNOTATED STUDENT ORK INITIATIVE - Achieve · PDF fileANNOTATED STUDENT ORK INITIATIVE EL -:...

ANNOTATED STUDENT WORK INITIATIVE

ELA 6-8: Finding Home: Refugees (Module 1, Unit 2)2 STUDENT SAMPLES

CCSS ALIGNMENT

Proficiency with the

targeted CCSS.

UNDERSTANDING

Understanding and

reasoning ability

SUPPORT MATERIALS

Supporting materials (including scoring

guidelines/rubrics)

COMPREHENSION & APPLICATION

Student comprehension of grade-level text (R.10)

LANGUAGE CHALLENGES

Challenges with respect to language demands

INTRODUCTIONLocation of Lesson in ModuleThis lesson is part of EngageNY’s Grade 8 ELA, Module 1, Unit 2, and the planning begins on Lesson 14. Students completed this assignment in November of 2015. This essay serves as the end of the Unit 2 assessment, which leads into Unit 3—writing a narrative poem about the universal refugee experience. The task in Unit 3 will ask students to write narrative poems from the perspective of a refugee and show how their lives have been turned inside out, so the essay serves to introduce those concepts first.

PromptThe unit requires students to respond to the prompt: “Consider the meaning of the novel’s title, Inside Out and Back Again. How does the title relate to the universal refugee experience of fleeing and finding home, and in what ways is Ha’s experience an example of this universal experience?”

StandardsThe essay process focuses on NYSP12ELA CCLS RL and RI 8.1, RL 8.3, RL 8.4, RL 8.6a, RL 8.11, W 8.2d, W 8.4, W 8.5, and W 8.9, but for the purposes of the annotations, the focus standards will be RL and RI 8.1, RI 8.3, W 8.2, and W 8.9.

Scaffolding TasksThere were several scaffolding tasks throughout this module that led up to the essay. As students read the novel Inside Out and Back Again by Thannha Lai, as well as several informational texts (“Panic Rises in Saigon But the Exits are Few” by Fox Butterfield, “Children of War” by Arthur Brice, and “Refugees: Who, Where, Why”) they added to several note-catchers. These students have a class set of tablets, so the note-catchers were modified from the module to be done completely in Word documents. One of the note-catchers involved gathering quotes and making inferences about Ha’s character, another had them record evidence of how refugees’ lives turning inside out and back again, and another was for evidence of challenges both fleeing and finding home.

Next, students completed an extension write to begin their thinking of what the universal refugee experience means by comparing an experience from a poem in the novel and of refugees in one of the articles. The students in this class were given a teacher-created task sheet (included below) as well as a teacher-created rubric (modified from the NYS Expository Writing Rubric). They were also given the option of filling in a planning page provided by the teacher. The samples included as a model are first drafts written by the students, and do not represent a final copy completed after peer or teacher review.

Focus Standards and SkillsAs stated before, it was decided that the focus standards for the purpose of annotating the samples would include RL and RI 8.1, RI 8.3, W 8.2, and W 8.9. This means that the focus of the annotations will be on citing text-based evidence that provides the strongest support for a student’s analysis (RL/RI 8.1), analyzing how a text makes connections among and distinctions between individuals, ideas, or events (RI 8.3), writing informative or explanatory texts that convey ideas and concepts using relevant information that is carefully selected and organized (W 8.2), and using evidence to support analysis, reflection, and research (W 8.9).

Points of DiscussionIn discussions prior to annotating, it was noted that in order to fully complete the prompt, student essays should explain the universal refugee experience; should give the strongest evidence from both the novel and the informational texts that represent the challenges refugees faced fleeing and finding home; should relate the title to the universal experience by including the strongest evidence showing how their lives were turned inside out and back again; and should show how Ha is a representation of this universal experience.

CRITERIA

4 Essays at this

level:

3 Essays at this

level:

2 Essays at this

level:

1 Essays at this

level:

0 Essays at this

level:

CONTENT AND ANALYSIS

–Clearly introduce the concept of the universal refugee experience in a manner that is compelling and fol-lows logically from the task;

–Demonstrate insightful analysis of the texts.

–Clearly introduce the concept of the universal refugee experience in a manner that follows from the task;

–Demonstrate grade-appropriate analysis of the texts.

–Introduce the concept of the universal ref-ugee experience that follows generally from the task;

–Demonstrate a literal compre-hension of the texts.

–Introduce the con-cept of the universal refugee experience in a manner that does not logically follow from the task;

–Demonstrate little understanding of the texts.

–Demonstrate lack of comprehension of the task or texts.

COMMAND OF EVIDENCE —FLEEING AND FINDING HOME

–Develop the concept of the universal experience with rel-evant, well-chosen quotations and information from the texts.

–Sustain the use of varied, relevant evidence from throughout the text.

–Develop the concept of the universal experience with rel-evant quotations and information from the texts.

–Sustain the use of relevant evidence from throughout the text.

–Partially develop the concept of the universal experience with the use of some quotations and information from the texts, some of which may be irrelevant.

–Use relevant evi-dence that focuses on a specific sec-tion of the story.

–Demonstrate an attempt to use evi-dence, but only develop with mini-mal, occasional evidence which is generally invalid or irrelevant.

–Provide no evi-dence, or provide evidence that is completely irrele-vant or invalid.

COMMAND OF EVIDENCE—INSIDE OUT AND BACK AGAIN

–Develop the concept of the universal experience with rel-evant, well-chosen quotations and information from the texts.

–Sustain the use of varied, relevant evidence from throughout the text.

–Develop the concept of the universal experience with rel-evant quotations and information from the texts.

–Sustain the use of relevant evidence from throughout the text.

–Partially develop the concept of the universal experience with the use of some quotations and information from the texts, some of which may be irrelevant.

–Use relevant evi-dence that focuses on a specific sec-tion of the story.

–Demonstrate an attempt to use evi-dence, but only develop with mini-mal, occasional evidence which is generally invalid or irrelevant.

–Provide no evi-dence, or provide evidence that is completely irrele-vant or invalid.

Teacher Modified NYS Expository Rubric

Continued

Teacher-Created Prompt for StudentWe have been reading the novel Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai. Using the novel and at least two other sources, write an essay that explains why Ha is considered an example of the universal refugee experience. When discussing the universal experience, be sure to include the challenges faced by refugees, and how this universal experience relates to the novel’s title.

In your essay, be sure to answer the following: • What is the universal refugee experience?

• What are the challenges fleeing home that most refugees experience?

– Examples from novel – Examples from article

• What are the challenges finding home that most refugees experience?

– Examples from novel – Examples from article

• How does the title of the novel relate to the universal refugee experience?

You must use the novel and at least two other sources: • Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai • “Panic Rises in Saigon But the Exits are Few” by Fox

Butterfield • “Refugees: Who, Where, Why” • “Children of War” by Arthur Brice

CRITERIA

4 Essays at this

level:

3 Essays at this

level:

2 Essays at this

level:

1 Essays at this

level:

0 Essays at this

level:

ORGANIZA-TION AND STYLE

–Exhibit clear orga-nization with the skillful use of appropriate and varied transitions

–Establish and maintain a formal style using stylisti-cally sophisti-cated language with a notable sense of voice

–Provide an introduc-tion and concluding section that is com-pelling and follows clearly from the topic

– Exhibit clear organization with appropriate transitions

–Establish and maintain a formal style using precise language

–Provide an introduc-tion and concluding section that follows clearly from the topic.

–Exhibit some attempt at organiza-tion with incon-sistent use of transitions

–Establish but fail to maintain a for-mal style

–Provide an introduc-tion and/or conclu-sion that only fol-lows generally from the topic.

–Exhibit little attempt at organization

–Lack a formal style with language that is inappropriate for the task

–Provide an introduc-tion and/or conclu-sion that is illogi-cal or unrelated to the task

–Exhibit no evi-dence of organization

–Use of language is incoherent or pre-dominantly cop-ied from the texts

–Does not provide an introduction and/or concluding section

CONTROL OF CONVEN-TIONS

–Demonstrate grade-appropriate command of conven-tions, with very few errors

–Demonstrate grade-appropriate command of conven-tions with occa-sional errors

–Demonstrate emerging com-mand of conven-tions, with some errors that may hinder comprehension

–Demonstrate a lack of command of con-ventions, with fre-quent errors that hinder comprehension

–Are minimal, mak-ing assessment of conventions unreliable

Total Points: / 20

20=100 19=97 18=94 17=91 16=88 15=85 14=82 13=79

12=76 11=73 10=70 9=67 8=64 7=61 6=58 5=55

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE


ELA 6-8: Finding Home: Refugees (Module 1, Unit 2)

P. 1/14

CCSS ALIGNMENT(Entire page)The student has many exam-ples of evidence pulled from the novel and informational text during the reading that illustrate challenges of fl eeing and finding home and under-standing fleeing and finding home. The student will use these quotes to cite evidence and to support analysis.

Standards referenced: RL.8.1/RI.8.1: Cite the textual evidence that most strongly supports an analysis of what the text says explicitly as well as inferences drawn from the text.

UNDERSTANDING

(Entire page)The student has many valid inferences to choose from when writing the essay.

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 2/14

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 3/14

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 4/14

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 5/14

12

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 6/14

1. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe student’s evidence and inferences demonstrate a com-prehension of grade level text. For example, the student makes the inference that when fi nding home, neighbors are not welcoming to the family. The student made that inference based on the quote, “Eggs explode like smears of snot on our front door.”

Standard referenced: RL.8.10: By the end of the year, read and comprehend literature, including stories, dramas, and poems, at the high end of grades 6-8 text complex-ity band independently and profi ciently.

2. CCSS ALIGNMENTWhen planning for the essay, the student highlighted the best evidence from all evidence collected, demonstrating profi -ciency in W.8.2. Much of this evidence was incorporated into the fi nal essay.

Standard referenced: W.8.2: Write informative/explanatory texts to examine a topic and convey ideas, concepts, and information through the selection, organization, and analysis of relevant content.

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 7/14

1

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 8/14

1. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe student’s response begins with an analysis of the universal refugee experience. The student shows profi ciency in RI.8.3 and RL.8.3 in making connections between the poem, novel, and informational text, “The Children of War.”

Standards referenced: RL.8.3: Analyze how particular lines of dialogue or incidents in a story or drama propel the action, reveal aspects of a char-acter, or provoke a decision.

RI.8.3: Analyze how a text makes connections among and distinctions between individu-als, ideas, or events (e.g., through comparisons, analogies, or categories).

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 9/14

SUPPORT MATERIALS

(Entire page)This optional planning page encouraged the student to organize information, which shows the student’s application of the scoring rubric.

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 10/14

1

2

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 11/14

COMPREHENSION & APPLICATION

(Entire page)The student’s work demonstrates an ability to read and compre-hend literary nonfi ction at the high end of the 8th grade text complexity band independently and profi ciently.

Standard referenced:RI.8.10: By the end of the year, read and comprehend literary nonfi ction at the high end of the grades 6–8 text complexity band independently and profi ciently.

1. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe student was able to use a literary text to respond to the prompt, and make a claim about a fi ctional refugee experi-ence as described in the first paragraph, “The story describes the horrible events of Ha’s life, and challenges that lie ahead for a young girl and her family, following along with many of the refugee’s own experience in searching for a better life, when leaving one behind.”

Standard referenced: RL.8.1: Cite the textual evidence that most strongly supports an analysis of what the text says explicitly as well as inferences drawn from the text.

2. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe student demonstrates the ability to draw evidence from the literary text and the informational text for analysis, research, and refl ection. The student skillfully moves between multiple pieces of textual evidence in one paragraph to support the student’s research on the refugee experience of “fl eeing” home. Referencing informational text, “One child, Emir, in the ‘Children of War’ article by Arthur Brice stated ‘I had to crawl through my apartment on my hands and knees or risk getting shot. I slept in the bathtub for days, because that was the only

place where you were totally safe from bullets’ (Brice 2).” and referencing literary text “Ha’s family is slowly getting weaker, as she describes their struggles. She says ‘Without lights, without cooking, without bathrooms ... we are told to sip water only when we must’ (Lai 73).”

Standard referenced: W.8.9: Draw evidence from literary or informational texts to support analysis, refl ection, and research.

1

2

3

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 12/14

1. CCSS ALIGNMENTStrong textual evidence was chosen in paragraph 2 – “With-out lights, without cooking, without bathrooms…” to support the student’s inference that refugee families endured many hardships as they fled their homes.

Standard referenced: RL.8.1: Cite the textual evidence that most strongly supports an analysis of what the text says explicitly as well as inferences drawn from the text.

2. UNDERSTANDINGThe student includes analysis and refl ection statements like “Especially during war, escape was nearly impossible with people threatening some and attacking others” and “So, these refugee families endure many hardships as they franti-cally try and flee their own homes, when tragedy strikes…” that transition between quotes to connect back to the student’s claim on the refugee experience of “fl eeing” home.

Standard referenced:W.8.9: Draw evidence from lit-erary or informational texts to support analysis, reflection, and research.

3. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe student demonstrates profi ciency in RI.8.3 by analyzing the connection among Ha in the novel and the refugees in the informational text. The student does this by threading a common theme of the universal refugee experience throughout the textual evidence, specifi cally the challenges faced fl eeing and fi nding home. For example: “The refugees, including the character Ha and her family fi nd a place that they believe is safe. But when there, they quickly discover that fi nding home in a new strange place is more diffi cult t han they imagined.”

Standard referenced: RI.8.3: Analyze how a text makes connections among and distinctions between individuals, ideas, or events (e.g., through comparisons, analogies, or categories).

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 13/14

1. CCSS ALIGNMENTHere is another paragraph where the student skillfully moves between multiple pieces of textual evidence in one paragraph to support the stu-dent’s research on the refugee experience of “fi nding” home.

Standard referenced:W.8.9: Draw evidence from lit-erary or informational texts to support analysis, reflection, and research.

1

STUDENT 1 SAMPLE



P. 14/14

1

4

2

3

STUDENT 2 SAMPLE



P. 1/4

1. CCSS ALIGNMENTAs shown in the “Source” column, the student uses multiple texts, both literary and informational, from which to draw evidence. These multiple sources will be cited throughout the essay.

Standard referenced: W.8.9: Draw evidence from lit-erary or informational texts to support analysis, reflection, and research.

2. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe challenges named in the Challenge Faced column and the corresponding quotes demonstrate the student’s com-prehension of grade level literary and informational text.

Standards referenced:RL.8.10: By the end of the year, read and comprehend literature, including stories, dramas, and poems, at the high end of grades 6–8 text complexity band independently and profi ciently.

RI.8.10: By the end of the year, read and comprehend literary nonfi ction at the high end of the grads 6–8 text complexity band independently and profi ciently.

3. CCSS ALIGNMENTThis quote shows the student’s understanding of how dialogue between characters in literary text (Ha and her mother) can be used as evidence toward the claim that a challenge in fi nding a home as a refugee includes learning a new language. You will notice that in the essay, the student uses a different section of dialogue to support the claim.

Standard referenced:RL.8.3: Analyze how particular lines of dialogue or incidents in a story or drama propel the action, reveal aspects of a char-acter, or provoke a decision.

4. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe student cites text based evidence from literature to support the refugee experience of fi nding home. Later in the essay, the student replaces this evidence with stronger evidence to support the point.


1

STUDENT 2 SAMPLE



P. 2/4

UNDERSTANDING

(Entire page)This response clearly introduces a topic in a manner that is compelling and follows logically from the task and purpose. The response demonstrates general analysis of the texts. The topic is developed with the sustained use of relevant, well-chosen facts from the texts that are varied. Clear organization is exhibited by the skillful use of appropriate and varied transitions (i.e., Overall, also, another). A formal style is established and maintained through the use of grade-appro-priate and domain specific vocabulary (i.e., refugee, chal-lenge, sponsor, hardship, adapted). The concluding state-ment follows clearly from the topic and information presented (i.e., All refugees go through the same things at one point in their lives. They all face the same challenges, challenges fl eeing their homes, fi nding a new home in their new and different country).

Standard referenced: W.8.2: Write informative/explanatory texts to examine a topic and convey ideas, concepts, and information through the selection, organization, and analysis of relevant content.

1. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe student is able to cite strong text evidence that supports the analysis of several different texts and genres. For example:

– “First off, in the novel Inside Out and Back Again it states, ‘We are told to sip water only when we must.’ (Lai 73).”

– “In the article ‘Refugees: Who, Where, Why’ it states, ‘During the 1980’s, civil war erupted in Central America, causing more than two million people to fl ee their homes’ (‘Refugees’ 1).”

– “’Sponsors refer those who’s application say Christian Mother amends faith’ (Lai 108).” (See next page).


3

1

2

STUDENT 2 SAMPLE



P. 3/4

UNDERSTANDING(Entire page)In order to show an in-depth understanding, the student would need to include more evidence from the informational texts of refugees experiencing “inside out and back again.” The student appears to have a general understanding of RI.8.3.

Standard referenced:RI.8.3: Analyze how a text makes connections among and distinctions between individuals, ideas, or events (e.g., through comparisons, analogies, or categories).

1. CCSS ALIGNMENTWhen the student wrote, “In the article ‘Refugees: Who, Where, Why’, it states ‘Refugees share small huts that are made of tree branches, mud, and plastic sheeting’ (Refugees 1)” it shows that the student is profi cient in citing textual evi-dence to show analysis of a text.


2. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe student is proficient in analyzing how a text makes connections among and distinc-tions between individuals, ideas, or events (e.g., through comparisons, analogies, or cat-egories). For example: “In the article ‘Children of War’ by Arthur Brice it states ‘When war broke out in Croatia, I went to Bosnia with my father. When war broke out in Bosnia, I went to Croatia with my mother’ (Brice 2).”

Standard referenced: RL.8.3: Analyze how particular lines of dialogue or incidents in a story or drama propel the action, reveal aspects of a character, or provoke a decision.

3. UNDERSTANDINGThere is some analysis that shows the connection between the title of the book and the universal theme. The examples are only from the novel. To show more depth of under-standing, the student would need to bring in more support from the informational texts.


1

STUDENT 2 SAMPLE



P. 4/4

COMPREHENSION & APPLICATION(Entire page)The student’s work demonstrates an ability to read and compre-hend literary nonfi ction at the high end of 8th grade text complexity band independently and profi ciently

Standard referenced: RI.8.10: By the end of the year, read and comprehend literary nonfi ction at the high end of the grads 6–8 text complexity band independently and profi ciently.

UNDERSTANDING(Entire page)The student goes back and forth and provides examples between the informational texts and the novel, however there appears to be a more “one sided” analysis of the novel.


1. CCSS ALIGNMENTThe student shows profi ciency in drawing evidence from both literary and informational texts to support the analysis. The student uses the information from all sources to draw a conclu-sion about the universal refugee experience: “All refugees go through the same things at one point in their lives. They all face the same challenges, challenges fl eeing their homes, fi nding a new home in their new and different country. In the book Inside Out and Back Again the title explains a lot about how refugees life feel like they are turning inside out and eventually come back around.”


Date post:	06-Mar-2018
Category:	Documents
Upload:	lekhue
View:	213 times
Download:	1 times

ANNOTATED STUDENT ORK INITIATIVE - Achieve · PDF fileANNOTATED STUDENT ORK INITIATIVE EL -:...

Documents