Dr. Saiyra Akbar| Basic Metaphysics |

Bachelor Level I-Basic Metaphysics

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Part I – Basic Metaphysics

Metaphysics is learning about the nature of existence, soul, consciousness and how it is related to humans and their interconnectedness with their environment. This includes our way of living, how our universe functions, and how humans interact with their environment, and other beings . Metaphysics is about the study of how life began and how it begins with every new creation. How the universe operates, what keeps the planets orbiting around the sun, how a cell becomes a person.

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Albert Einstein

What Is Consciousness ?

“I Think therefore I am.” Descartes

Consciousness is becoming aware that we are experiencing existence. The ability to experience enables one to thoughts, emotions, shapes, images, perceptions, sensations, memory, intuition, etc. Consciousness enhances and animates the physical experience. It pre-exists and emerges as we evolve. Our brain is a conduit for consciousness. The brain is meaningless without consciousness. Consciousness is something that was in existence before everything was created. It emerges and evolves as we evolve. Consciousness gives life to the brain and its functions. The brain without consciousness is similar to a computer with no user, meaningless. Consciousness gives us the ability to become aware, of what we are experiencing through our senses. We are able to think and further ask questions concerning that experience.

Furthermore, we have emotions, love, anger, various different moods. So there are varying levels of awareness, consciousness and intelligence in our universe. The various levels of consciousness act as conduits for the expression of our consciousness. For Exp plants, minerals, animals and human beings are examples of the different levels of consciousness. It resides in humans making us aware of our experience in the now. Animals also have consciousness on a lower level. They have a sense of self-awareness that indicates they are conscious beings. For Example Animals are able to communicate with each other. They have social hierarchies, such as Lion is the king of the jungle. Other animals fall in lower categories creating the whole network of the jungle. Animals know that the y have to eat to survive, which is another aspect of consciousness, it drives the

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animal to search for their own food, shelter and protection of their young. Plants also have some sort of consciousness. When experimented on with soft music they responded in a positive way. Whereas when heavy metal music was played they died.

Our thinking faculties and understanding, determine our level of consciousness. For example, we can interpret our current situation and provide a plausible solution to it. We can think and make the necessary adjustments to a situation. Consciousness involves thoughts, emotions, moods, perceptions, sensations, self-awareness being awake and responding to the current state of being. Basically the ability to be aware of the experienced moment; the ability to feel and respond in the moment.

“Knowledge is structured in consciousness.” Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

Consciousness is the key to everything in the universe. It is consciousness that gives us the ability to create our life stories, through images and visualizations. The substance of the universe is consciousness. We are building the universe as we go. As we experience we gain new knowledge, adding to the universal consciousness.

Consciousness can be described as many things. For instance;

- when one is spiritual

-awake and focused in the current moment

-when you are aware and focused in the current moment

When you are aware of what you are doing something. For example when you are eating, you are aware of your bites, the color, the smell and taste of what you are eating. This way you enjoy the food you are eating which will satisfy your emotional needs and you will eat only how much you need to eat. You will be aware of each bite and not overeat. Another aspect of consciousness of self-awareness. You are aware of your inner self, your moods, your wants , your needs, habits, emotions, thoughts, intuition, perceptions, shapes and images. Consciousness is a vital aspect of our universe, of the cosmos. It exists everywhere in everything. Consciousness is observing itself.

“God wanted to be known, so he created.” Hadis-i-Kudsi

Everything is consciousness, there is only consciousness and it’s varying degrees are perceived as images in the mind. The world we see is appearing in the mind. It is the mind that creates things. In the actual world there is nothing. We all have our own world going on in the mind, which we reflect in our outer world, the rabbit hole is our own nature, how deep does the rabbit hole go. Means to discover our own consciousness go, as in experiencing the pure states of consciousness that the mystics and Sufis talk about. The mystic or spiritual person experiences pure consciousness states, which are likened to

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ecstatic states. God is the light of consciousness, by knowing the qualities of pure consciousness we begin to know God. God is consciousness and by knowing and experiencing pure states of consciousness and its’ divine qualities, we begin to know God a little.

“God sleeps in the rock, dreams in the plant, stirs in the animal, and awakens in man/woman.” Sufi Teaching

By meditation, pranayama or focusing our attention towards our inner souls, we begin to see and feel the “I”. We all ask ourselves Who Am I? This question has been asked, pondered and answered throughout the ages. Erwin Schrodinger says that,

“You will, on close introspection find that what you really mean by “I” is the ground stuff upon which all experiences and memories are collected.”

If we observe ourselves now and then compare it to ourselves 10 years ago, we will realize that we are not the same person we were 10 years ago. The sense of I’ness is the same, yet our likes, dislikes, interests, levels of intelligence has changed, (evolved/devolved) with the experience of life. We are all part of one consciousness experiencing ourselves, over and over again. We are imagining ourselves into our reality from our perceptions, emotions and thoughts. Whatever you think you are that is who you are. Each individual has an ocean of consciousness with them, the more we learn about it, the more divine qualities of pure consciousness is revealed. Such as psychic phenomena, paranormal and supernatural forces.

“The universe produced phenomenally in me, is pervaded by me…from me the world is born, in me it exists, in me it dissolves.” The Ashtarakra Gita

What is Matter?

Matter is frozen dense light, the fabric from which everything is created. Matter is a solid object composed of atoms and yet matter only exists in the mind. The mind is always full of matter covering the consciousness. The consciousness gives rise to the chatter, forms and images in a whirlwind of matter. To still the mind is to experience consciousness, which is the light, where time and space does not exist. So the mystical experiences pure consciousness. One can experience deep levels of consciousness through meditation. The experiment is the mind. Baba Muktananda said, “Earth, moon, stars and sun revolve inside me.” That is the world is inside of us.

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Matter can be changed, manipulated by changing its vibrational frequency. Since it is functioning at very dense, slow vibrations. By increasing the vibrational frequency, it can be made to function as light energy bodies. We are made of matter so we can change ourselves by changing our vibrational frequency. To change a situation we need to change the vibrational frequency of that situation. A higher frequency change is needed to move out a situation. For example healing a disease or disorder, can be healed by the shifting of the vibrational frequency of the diseased state.

Matter consists of atoms, and atoms are composed of protons, neutrons and electrons. Neutrons and protons can be further broken down into sub-atomic particles called quarks. Electrons are from the lepton particles. The subatomic particles are the foundational building blocks of everything in the universe. Therefore, on the molecular and atomic level an atom can be altered. The structure of the atom can be changed. Everything is energy and has a frequency at which it exists. To change that existence we need to change the frequency of the current atom.

David Icke says in his video the Quantum Universe that,

“The universe we live in now is structured on the element of fear. The realms of fear operate on a very dense frequency-a very slow vibrational frequency. And the more you embody fear, you are in a slow, dense vibrational state. Our world is structured on fear to worry about tomorrow, we are bombarded with stress, anxiety and guilt about yesterday and forget about new. We are stuck in our own fear related, slow, vibrating universe.”

Paradigm Shifts

“Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is opposed. Third, it is regarded as self-evident.” Arthur Schopenhauer

A paradigm is a model or pattern of our social structures, education, of the world we live in. We live according to a certain set of rules, till we come across something that is different from our current way of living and belief system. We call this an anomaly, because it doesn’t fit into our set of rules. You cannot deny it and yet you cannot explain it. So at first this anomaly is rejected and ridiculed. Everyone tries to explain the anomaly within the current set of rules. When it cannot be explained, a new paradigm, set of rules are introduced in which the anomaly is accepted and resolved. The respected ones, the officials of society reject the new paradigm, ignoring and making fun of it. But gradually it begins to set in, it begins to get accepted, as people see the truth of it.

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This can be seem throughout history. For instance, the older views of the world were that, the earth was flat and that our planet was believed to be the center of the universe and that all planets are orbiting the earth in perfect circles. This view changed in 1543, when Copernicus said that the earth spins and the earth itself is a planet orbiting the sun.

Several decades later in 1610, Galileo proved Copernicus’s theory. Around the same time Kepler’s research on the planets and their orbits resulted in proving that the planets did not orbit in circles, but in ellipitical orbiting around the sun. Close to the end of the century in 1687 Newton discovered gravity which brought forth another paradigm shift. Newton believed that the creator of the universe, used fixed laws to construct the universe. Newton brought the earth and heaven closer to us when he discovered Gravity. He observed the world around him and one day when an apple fell from the tree, he questioned himself what made the apple fall. This led to the discovery of gravity. The same force that kept the planets moving in a fixed orbit in space. Descartes and Leibniz believed that “rationality” brings understanding of nature by human reason. St. Thomas Aquinas says: “God is a necessary timeless, immutable, perfect and unchanging being on which the universe depends utterly for it’s existence, but who in contrast is completely unaffected by the existence of the universe.”

“We are spiritual beings on a human journey.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Paradigms change with time. As new knowledge, awareness awaken in our universe, our older belief systems begin to become obsolete, we begin to change and create new paradigms of thinking and believing, thus new ways of living are incorporated into our lives. Paradigms change with time as new knowledge emerges. Einstein furthered the study of gravity. He discovered that the curving of time and space created gravity, keeping the planet in their orbits. He also discovered that warps and curves in the space-time continuum is gravity. This is his relativity theory. Einstein put forth the idea of relativity, which states the speed of light is absolute, the same for all observers, whatever speed they are moving at. The speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec. Space and time are not fixed, but vary with the speed of the observer. Different observers see different space and time. He eventually began to combine gravity and electromagnetism. Gravity was great for the universe, but at the subatomic level of the universe gravity became a weak force.

Immanuel Kant said, that “Space and time are the framework within which the mind is constrained to construct it’s experiences of reality.”

Then along came quantum physics and change our view of the universe. Quantum physics views the entire field of the study. I will discuss only a subfield of this science, which is called Quantum Mechanics. Quantum mechanics explains the concept of energy and matter. It theorizes that energy exists in small quantities quantas. While matter is viewed as dense frozen light that consists of waves and particles. That is the vibrational energy at the subatomic level is viewed as waves and /or particles. The quantum theory explains the universe in totally unique way. The universe is an energy field of probabilities,

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nothing is fixed. Anything is possible. The universe behaves in an uncertain way and this was the reason why Einstein disliked this concept.

At the subatomic level, everything is in its uncreated form, that is why it has no definite shape, it is uncertain and franctic tiny movements. These tiny vibrating things are believed to be tiny vibrating strings of energy. This is called the string theory. This theory relates that at the center of every matter is a tiny, piece of vibrating string of energy. The string theory is a great theory as it unifies Einstein’s general relativity that explains how gravity works to keep the larger universe operational to the quantum mechanics smaller and inner universe. Basically, the string theory is the unification of general relativity and quantum mechanics. This includes the interacting forces that bring the building subatomic particles together to create the world around and in us are the forces that interact with matter to create anything and everything in existence. Which are as follows;

- Gravity (General Relativity)

+

(Quantum Mechanics)

-Electricity & Magnetism

-Strong Nuclear Force

-Weak Nuclear Force

The string theory takes into account both Einstein’s General Relativity and Quantum Mechanics, subatomic particles. This combination creates a phenomenal view of the universe. Full of alternate dimensions, co-existing 11 dimensions, or even more. Where we have the ability to create by our thoughts and by the process of observation. Amazingly, the strings are able to exist in multiple dimensions by vibrating in multiple dimensions. The vibrational frequency of the string determines if it is matter or light. Dense frequencies, freezes the energy to move at slower rates, thus giving it their dense structure-matter, Faster vibrational frequencies make it light.

Another vital aspect of the quantum theory is the observer effect. We have the ability to co-create consciousness by our thoughts and the process of observations. At the subatomic level, an atom and it’s subatomic particles exist all over the place, until a conscious observe decides to look at it. The observer does this by the act of observation, is measuring the particles or electrons and this gives it, its shape and structure. This is how we create our own reality , through our own inner reality, through our inner senses, perceptions, emotions, thoughts, etc. At the subatomic level, an atom and it’s subatomic particles exist all over the place, until a conscious observer, decides to look at it. The observer does this by the act of observation. This act of observation, is measuring the particles or electrons and thus gives it, its shape and structure. This is how the whole

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universe is created. This is how we create our own reality, through our inner senses, perceptions, emotions, thoughts etc.

We have our own world going on in our minds. This is what we reflect into our outer world. Different observers see different space and time and create their own experience of reality. The very act of observation change things. This type of theory can have profound effects in our daily lives. For example, when we are at a party having fun, time seems to go fast. Whereas if we are at a boring event, time slows down. Another example is that we change our lives for the better, by thinking positively about our reality when our thoughts, perceptions, emotions are positive it will create a positive observer effect.

The observer effect concept can also be used with healing, we can use positive affirmations, intentions to create a healed state. The reality in our mind becomes our reality. This is also demonstrated in the placebo effect. The deep belief in the reality of our mind, will cause the healing to occur.

The Holographic Theory

This theory explains how the human brain creates electrical interference pattern, which allows the stored memory to be distributed all over the brain. Instead of just one certain region. That is, each part of the brain contains the same stored memory of the whole. Therefore a piece of the brain can create the whole, because each piece would contain the whole stored memory of that certain person. This suggest that our brains are holographic in nature. For example if you take a photograph of an apple and put a laser beam on it. Then a second laser beam is lighted upon the first. This leads to the creation of an interference pattern, which stored in the image. Then the photograph of this image is used to reflect a third laser beam, which results in a displaying of a 3-Dimensional photo of the object. If this hologram is cut into pieces you will not see pieces of that apple, rather you will see the whole apple in every piece.

Our universe works in the same way, suggesting the 2-Dimensional space interaction create a 3-Dimensional image as our universe. A hologram is a 3-Dimensional image made from a 2-Dimensional process. Based on this theory our reality is just an image a reflection of our minds. So we see how each era brings new knowledge and changes the way we think and view ourselves and our universe.

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The information given in this metaphysics course is significant as it gives us an understanding of how our universe and everything in it works. It reveals the underlying mechanisms of the building blocks of the universe and the interacting forces that bring motion, light, color , consciousness and experience together to create our reality. This deeper understanding of the subatomic world opens new doors for understanding and healing the human condition. It also improves the quality of existence and life and at the same time adding to the universal consciousness.

Part II – What Every Metaphysician should know

Basics Points that every metaphysician should know and incorporate in their practice and life. This information is significant in getting a degree in Metaphysics, as it gives us a greater understanding of human behavior. What motivates and drives it. It challenges us to face adversity on a daily basis and teaches us to overcome our fears, limitations, disappointments, so that we can continue to learn and grow, which leads to the enhancement of consciousness and existence. The human spirit is a powerful force and we can use it to overcome adversity of all kinds. Even in the hardest situations our human spirit has the ability to overcome. Tragedy can be turned into Triumph and human achievement. We have the ability to change our attitude in the face of adversity and overcome it. Change your mind and change your life.

Further, this information opens us to all possibilities and discoveries. As enlightened beings we are self-complete individuals and we are able to perfect our lower human qualities to nobler ones.

1. Enlightenment: As a metaphysician enlightenment can be used to help clients attain self-completeness and awakening from ignorance and their limitations. That is to expand our horizons by expanding our thinking and reasoning skills. Also, to become aware of our experiences and understanding the lessons behind them. To attain the divine state of enlightenment one needs to look at themselves and their ego. Ego is all the many beliefs that we have about ourselves including contradictions. But the ego does not give us a true image of ourselves, because what makes up our ego hold contradictions. Our ego is our personality and is always divided into our lower nature (selfish qualities) and higher nature (super ego). The true self, is not the ego but reflects ones’ true expression unhindered by contradictions. In order to attain enlightenment one would gradually work on perfecting the self-image coming from our ego. That is becoming aware of the higher qualities of love, compassion, self-respect, humility, humbleness, self-responsibility, giving to others, respect for free will etc.

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By making these qualities more active in oneself gradually eliminates the lower qualities of jealousy, selfishness, hate, harming others, deceiving etc. As a metaphysician we deal with clients on varying levels of consciousness. It would be our job to show them how to change and integrate personality defects by changing the way they think and behave by taking self-responsibility for their actions and choices. To think for themselves and respect others rights and their own right to practice free-will. These are elements to a self-complete person, which is what enlightenment is all about. When we are complete within ourselves, we don’t require outside validation. We view everything through the lens of critical thinking and human reasoning ,thus we are able to create a better world.

2. What Motivates Human Nature/Behavior: As a metaphysician the nature of humans(clients) plays an important role in determining what motivates their behaviors,healing their psyches, which eventually leads to healing their physical bodies. As ametaphysician one needs to be aware of what drives people’s actions and why theybehave in a certain way. We also need to realize that behaviors have changed andevolved over time. One cannot fight their basic nature, they need to accept it andevolve from that point. For example, what is the motivation behind or humanbehavior, good or bad. Each person is free to choose between virtuous acts or vice.Based on their choice they should also be prepared to take responsibility for theiractions and be ready to be judged by the rest of the society/people around them. Sonow we wonder what motivates one to a certain choice. For instance why do peoplesteal, lie, harm others, or deceive them. Upon observing their behavioral patterns weuncover that the source of what leads one to choosing vice, is some sort of deficiencyand inadequacy in their self and in their life. That is one does not have enough things,lack of something motivates one to steal. If they have some emotional or mentaldeficiency, they will wish to take way things owned by others. One might also bemotivated to vice if they feel deprived, insulted, slighted or even persecuted in someway by others and this drives to inflict injury on others, thinking that they aredestroying the source that is hurting them. Once we become aware of what motivatespeople to perform vices, this can lead to finding solutions to prevent and change thesetypes of behaviors. Thus leading them to change and evolve to a more morally correctway.

3. Nature vs Nurture: As a metaphysician knowing all the factors that contribute toknowing more about humans leads to learning more about consciousness andexistence. In this concept, nature is defined as being genetic, our behaviors are fromour genes and that they are instinctive and programmed. Whereas nurture is behaviorthat is brought on by the learning and the environment we live on. Our behaviors arebased on nature and nurture or just nature or nurture. Some great thinkers, believethat our behaviors is genetically controlled, that is our genes are the dominant rulingfactor of our behaviors. Exp Talent runs in the family, Intelligent people are born withintelligent genes running in their family. Others believe that environment drives ourbehavior. That is the nurture concept states that our behaviors are determined by ourenvironment. Which is our parents, schools, religion, cultures, the society we live in,the art all modifies and builds are behaviors. I believe it is important to realize thatboth genes and environment create our complex natures. Our genes create our basicnatures and physical makeup, giving us the abilities to learn, whereas our environmentkind of brings on an evolution of those genes.

4. The Need for Meaning: and the need to feel that we belong is an essential basic needof humans. As a metaphysician the understanding of this concept will aid in thehealing of clients’ spiritual and emotional states. Finding meaning in one’s existence isan intricate part of our nature. Everyone needs a purpose, a goal to achieve. That we

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are not here in vain and that our life has a purpose. It is our character, how we behave that gives meaning to our lives. The struggle to fix our faults and perfect our behaviors and not harm others, is what matters the most. Every little thing we do brings meaning to our life. Even when we are having problems, we learn the lessons needed from the experience. By learning the lesson we find meaning bringing growth of our consciousness with each experience. Every human in existence is an essential part of humanity and consciousness. Everyone in existence matters. Therefore having a purpose, meaning to our existence gives us hope to move forward and that life is not futile.

5. Adversity builds character: As a metaphysician I will be dealing with clients facing problems, disappointments, fears, emotional and mental disturbances. These are adversities that we must overcome to grow into a better more whole person. Adversity teaches empathy and compassion as we can relate to others from our own experiences. It gives us wisdom and endurance and challenges us to move forward from our emotionally immobile state of disorder to a more empowered state. It also brings on growth by learning the meaning of the adversity and by overcoming we have found the solution to our problem or chaotic situation and can move on. Adversity enables us to learn more about who we are and what we are capable of handling. It gives us the strength in the face of hardships and brings hope that we don’t have to remain and give into a life of total despair. We can take back control of our lives.

6. Setting a goal is an important point that in achieving anything worthwhile in life. As a metaphysician I would need to set goals and the motivation to achieve them. Goal setting requires critical thinking skills to solve a problem, we can also use them to achieve our goals or anything worthwhile that we want to accomplish. There are many benefits to setting goals such as

- Setting goals requires self-discipline and some thought and effort. All of which are part of critical thinking skills. It organizes your scattered thoughts to flow towards one goal.

- Setting goals brings your vision to life and determines for you the values of the goal. Such as if the goal you intend to achieve is worthwhile and in harmony to your core values and life purpose. Basically, do you see a benefit in doing this.

- Writing your goals and reassessing them regularly makes them real, and keeps your focus and energy on the goal.

- Setting goals also motivates to achieve them.

- Setting goals breaks down the project goal into smaller pieces. Which is more attainable than the whole. Step by step one can reach the heights of greatness.

- Setting goals brings adventure and perspective to attaining or completing a project

7. As a metaphysician I will apply critical thinking skills in my life as it will help me deal with problems in a more scientific, rational and logical way. In our daily life we can use them to making a schedule or scheduling appointments with clients, balancing your budget, dealing with customers etc. Being critical thinker will enable me to listen attentively to clients and assess what they are saying. Use skillful judgement by first

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analyzing all the facts, beliefs, assumptions. If new facts are discovered it will allow to adjust my views accordingly. By Applying critical thinking in my life brings an intelligent, disciplined way of evaluating and gathering information. This includes bringing the eight elements of reason to use, which are as follows.

- Purpose- Point of view- Question at issue- Information- Interpretations & Influence- Concepts- Assumptions- Implications & Consequences

Basically to find a solution or to come to a conclusion based on reality and facts. Analyze all possibilities and to reassess conclusions if needed. Critical thinking enhances the quality of consciousness and existence. That is Critical Thinking involves to a higher way to think and raises the level of consciousness. It also brings logical responses and a rational way of looking at problems, goals, objectives, work, education, relationships and anything worthwhile in life. It brings on a different approach to problem-solving by breaking it down into smaller pieces and solving it step by step. Critical thinking skills enhance and empowers the quality of life & relationship opening up new ways of thinking and dealing with problems. It reassess your old belief systems and allows you to adjust and change them to your current situations.

8. Time Management is another essential skill to have as a Metaphysician, as it enables oneto deal with daily activities in an efficient and effective manner. This is applies both tothe business world and personal life. If you own your own business you would need tomanage your time to efficiently operate the various duties involved. Such as inventory,operations, administrations and management activities. Good time managementindicates good common sense and working smart by setting a time frame effectively.The time Management Matrix is a great tool to organize and get control back. The TimeManagement Matrix divides your activities into four quadrants depending on theirimportance and level of urgency. For example The tasks in your business that needurgent utmost attention need to be in quadrant I: Manage: These tasks include crises,deadline, time sensitive projects. Whereas the not so urgent matters fall into thecategory of quadrant II : Focus : This quadrant includes planning, prevention,metaphysical gift store management, relationship building, relaxing/entertainment. Thethird quadrant III: includes all minor matters that are not so important. This includessome calls, emails, interruptions & even some meetings. You should minimize timewasting matters. The Fourth Quadrant IV : Eliminate: Eliminates all things that are of nouse and are wasting your time. These include gossiping, negative talk/thoughts, somecalls and emails, irrelevant work, etc. Once you’ve identified the activities into theirproper place. You can begin to manage your time by the following;

- Determine how you are using your time by logging your activities in ajournal.

- Then analyze this pattern by putting them into the four quadrants ofthe Time Matrix Management. Eliminate the meaningless ones fromyour routine.

Another way to manage your time is to use a To Do List- This is a very efficient way to manage your time. Use a simple system to identify top priorities to not so important

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matters. Use whatever best suits your need. For example while taking account of inventory and recording out-of-stock items.

9. 180 Principle allows the problem to be solved from a totally new perspective from what you are used to. It takes a 180 degree turn from your current situation to introduce a new way of looking at things. This especially works on solving problems that have become chronic. If you are experiencing the same situation over and over again, then it is time to approach the problem from a whole new perspective. This might require a 180 degrees turn from your current beliefs systems. Sometimes you are in a situation that requires a life change. The solution to your problem lies outside of your belief system. That is certain values and beliefs keep you stuck in a situation, meaning you keep going in circles trying to find a solution unwilling to let go of your belief system. You need to expand your current belief system by thinking outside the box by going the opposite way. The 180 degrees turn from where you stand. As a metaphysician I will need to be open-minded as I deal with various different belief system from around the world. In a serious life problem, the first thing to do would be to

- Identify the belief system that is keeping you imprisoned: Analyze religious beliefs, then your personal belief system and professional belief system. What is reasonable and what isn’t? What is keeping you tied to this situation? Write the pros and cons and evaluate each.

- Now Paradox it! The 180 Degree Principle. That is find out the alternative belief system or 180 degrees is opposite from where you are. Determine what is stopping you from taking the 180 turn, by asking yourself the following ; What are my biggest fears concerning this alternative? What’s the worst that can happen if I go ahead with this solution? What are the benefit of this solution? What are the consequences of this solution? Will this alternative cause pain to myself or to others?

- The solution can be the completely opposite of everything you held sacred.

- Use good judgement and don’t allow negative thoughts or beliefs to keep you from a new perspective.

10 As a metaphysician I will be dealing with people who need help in dealing with toxic, dysfunctional relationships or just need help in self-concept issues. Therefore reinventing you healthy boundaries is a vital aspect of first helping myself and then others. The first thing to realize is that to change your outer world, we have to change our inner world. This implies creating and re-inventing yourself from your inner source. Your base foundation, your inner landscape stems from the belief system, core values, characteristics and past-life experiences. To change these elements is to change your identify-This process is called Identity Foundation Shift. Most people have them-esteem, therefore they base themselves, their worth from what other’s think of them and what other’s expect of them. In other words, they thrive on external expectations and validations. Thus to re-invent yourself, a Identify Foundation Shift must take place, which is shifting from external validations and expectations to internal ones. The basic values to do this shift requires the following;

- Accept yourself unconditionally

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- Self-responsibility-you are responsible for establishing yourlimitations & boundaries.

- Know who you are and why you are who you are-This includes athorough evaluation of your beliefs and values.

- Have self-respect: you are entitled and worthy to have all the goodthings just like everyone else.

- Nurture healthy self-esteem and self-dignity- Respect your own free will and the free will of others.- Establish responses to boundary violations.

These values are used to re-invent and re-create yourself. The following are the five steps to Re-inventing and Re-creating yourself. This action will redefine who you are and like a reset button will shift the foundation of your identity to a better version of yourself.

- Step 1: Starts off by approaching this process from a third personview. Remove yourself emotionally from this process by saying “ Iwant this new person to have this core value or this belief.”

- Step 2: Relax and clam your mind. Take some deep breaths to clearthe mind. Now imagine what you want the new you to be like. Whatqualities, core values would you have. Ask yourself, “ What do I wantthis person to be? “ Don’t let the views, expectations and judgementsof family, friends, workmates, and religious leaders or religionconcepts affect you. Go deep within yourself and be who you want tobe. Include virtues as patience, compassionate, kindness, loving,loyal, trustworthy, etc. This should be the ideal person that you wantto be, without any holds.

- Step 3 : Once you have a list of core values, define the healthy limitsfor each value as “ Boundary Clause”. Write the statement of yourcore value in the first person, this way your core value is in thepresent tense and already a reality. For example a core value andboundary clause would be as follows;

Core Value: Strong mental and emotionalResources

Description: I focus my attention andemotional resources on things that are uplifting, up building,positive, and success-oriented, rather than being negative.

Boundary Clause: I don’t allow others toinstill negativity in my life. I don’t allow them to take my space inmy head, by becoming obsessed with worries,

Concerns and othernegative talk. The new me focuses only on the positive and all that isgood. I focus myself on strong, healthy, positive

Mental and emotionalresources.

- Step 4: Now it is vital to add disposition, demeanor andcharacteristics to the new you. What type of personality would yoube, fun, loving, cheerful, easygoing, Intelligent, Romantic, assertive,etc. Add all different characteristics, that you want to be, the levelof fitness, weight, career etc, along with their descriptions.

- Step 5: Establish three core values and their boundary clauses, alongwith three personality characteristics. Then the next day read themout aloud, and believe them to be true. Then add another core valueand characteristic to your list. Continue adding to the list until youhave exhausted your list, then continue to review your work for 40

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days. It takes 40 days to make a habit or break a habit. Remember to ignore any doubts, negative thoughts and emotions that hinder you from creating a new you. Reaffirm your conviction every day, because by following this religiously you take your power back.

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11 Protecting your boundaries : To have a healthy relationship with anyone, you need to first know that everyone has boundaries. We all have our beliefs, limitation and core values we need to take into account when having a healthy relationships. For some these boundaries could be non-existent, negligent or flexible, while for others they are the most important aspect of the relationship. The first thing to determine is what is a boundary violation. A boundary violation is “Any attempt to control, change, undermine, or demean another person.” The following are some common boundary violations that should be avoided in order to have a healthy relationship.

- Berating or demeaning you in public or private. - Not listening to you, interrupting you and finishing your sentences or

talking over you. - Invading your personal space - Saying rude, hurtful, and disrespectful comments. - Giving unsolicited advice. - Pressuring you to do something against your better judgement. - No contributing to the relationships, household chores or finances. - Physically abusive-hitting, pushing and forcefully confining you in one

place.

Boundary violations occur in a relationship because we have allowed them to, by not standing up for ourselves. This happens because we rely on external expectations and validations. A person with healthy self-esteem will never allow boundary violations to occur. A self-complete person will protect their boundaries by the motto “ I will not walk on you and I will not allow you to walk on me.” When boundary violations occur it is important to put a stop to them. This can be done by being assertive and fair in any situation, ask yourself if you are; honest, direct, empathetic, and display a win-win attitude. Assertiveness will help you deal with boundary violations in an effective resolving manner. Resolving a conflict in an assertive manner means a positive, peaceful resolution to a conflict. So the first thing to do is realize when a situation occurs what do we do? How do we react? For example, someone says a derogatory and demeaning remark. To defend ourselves we react by insulting them back. Our reaction is instinctive fight or flight to defend ourselves. But do we have to react instinctly? No we don’t. We can instead be a self-complete person and respond assertively. Responding means we think first. You are free to deal with matters, immediately, later or never. It’s entirely up to you. You can just not deal with it, which means the relationship is over. If you are going to respond, do it promptly. Here is when you set boundaries and an assertive response to go with it. So you must be able to answer the following questions;

- What specific behavior are you responding to? - What was your reaction, feelings and thoughts to this behavior.

Basically, how did you feel when this happened? - What resolutions do you want?

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- What are you willing to do to get a resolution. For example speak upfor yourself.

- When should you address this boundary violation, right away, laterwhen you are alone.

- What will happen if you say nothing?

So now you are able to create a model to develop an assertive response to a boundary violation. You can divide it into the following;

- The specific behavior (the boundary violation)- Your response, “when you I feel can I ask you to not

in the future. - Action(s) taken if the behavior continue.- Example When you constantly interrupt me, I feel frustrated,

because I cannot express myself. Can I ask you to let me finishwithout interruption. If this behavior continues then I will haveTo reassess whether to continue the relationship or not.

By instilling this type of assertive response in your daily life, you are able to establish a response to most boundary violations and at the same time you protect boundaries assertively. Sometimes some people will not back off in and continue with their current demeaning, aggressive or abusive behavior. In this case you have no choice but to discontinue the relationship.

The people who violate your boundaries the most are the ones closest to you. Ending those types of relationships is much harder, but it should nevertheless be done if the person will not stop.

12. Building Relationships: Is an important aspect of daily life and is the key to dealingwith and communication with others on a personal and business level. The two mostimportant relationship questions will help you to determine where the problems are in atroubled relationship and how to make rational, logically based decisions without theemotions that usually hinder us.

The first Relationship Question is: “What do I bring in this relationship?” Basically, you are asking yourself why would someone want to be in a relationship with me? Or why would they not want to be in a relationship with me? What do I do add, and what do I subtract? This question requires an honest self-examination. All the traits that you subtract from the relationship should be corrected or transformed into positives, which you can put back into the relationship.

The Second Relationship Question is: “What does the other person bring to this relationship?” What does the other person bring to the relationship that makes it worthwhile. Perform the evaluation for the other person in the same way, fair and honestly. Think rationally and logically.

These two questions should give a fairly good evaluation of where your relationship stands, what you need to correct and what the other person needs to correct. There is a slight flaw in assuming that the other person will adhere to this evaluation. They might not

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want to change, and this is their human right of free will, when this happens people either continue in toxic, dysfunctional relationship or the relationship is over. The most common fatality here is continuing a unhealthy relationship, because they are with longtime friends, family member, a longtime intimate relationship or a superior at work. When this happens the most vital, life-changing element to consider is.

“Anytime someone takes more from a relationship than he or she gives and is unwilling to change, the relationship is over. No exceptions.”

A healthy relationship require mutual trust and respect and responsibility. If one person is doing everything, and the other not carrying his/her share. The relationship becomes imbalanced. This eventually leads to conflict, resulting is toxic, unhealthy relationships. You must show a high honor and respect to yourself and end the relationship. The two relationship questions should be an essential philosophy to your existence. These qualities can help clear your thinking and help you to make appropriate decisions in a logical and rational way. The two relationship questions can be applied to all relationships in your life, including

- Business partnership: A business partner who takes more than he/she gives and refuses to change-This unhealthy partnership will eventually lead to diasasterous results Which will dissolve in time. It is better to take action to avoid unnecessary stress and leave the partnership.

- Professional Relationships: A professional relationship in which one side takes more than they give, and refuses to change this way of life. Find someone else to do the job.

- Employee Management: You are the management team at your workplace and are wondering whether you should fire or keep an employee who is not doing their share. This employee refuses to change and takes more than his/her share. It is better to dismiss him/her you protect the business assets and guard against other employee becoming disillusioned by management inaction.

- Customer Management: A customer who is constantly complaining and never satisfied with anything you do to please him/her. Doing business with them is costing you more in time and money and the added stress. Break this relationship.

All in all looking at all your current relationships with the two relationship questions in mind, you become aware of the parts of you that you need to take away or transformed to create a healthier relationship. You will also become more aware of your assets and cherish the good qualities in you and the other person.

To create healthy and empowered relationships you have to first know and accept yourself. That is, why you are who you are, Once you know who you are and why you are who you are, you will begin to understand why you have a good or bad relationship. We all

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have a certain energy signature which is built from our core values, beliefs, thoughts and emotions gained from our past experiences. This is our internal state which we replicate into our outside world. This replication from the internal to the external is called External Replication. Everything in our life our world is a reflection of what we are inside. We emit an energy signature which attracts other harmonically compatible energies of the same frequency. Like attracts like. This doesn’t necessarily mean the two compatible energy signatures create a healthy relationship. It just means that they have similar interests/similar energies. Two people can have similar energy signatures and are harmonically compatible, but yet they have a toxic, dysfunctional relationship and keep moving from one toxic relationship to another dysfunctional relationship. This is because having similar energy signatures doesn’t necessarily mean having a healthy relationship. If our energy is healthy it will attract healthy partners and vice versa. Regardless of good or bad relationship, there is always a benefit to be remain in a relationship. The benefit we get from staying in a toxic relationship is called a secondary gain, which is gained by a specific primary action. For Example, when a neglected child throws a temper tantrum to get his parents attention. Temper tantrum is a primary action which benefits the child, when he gets his parents attention, the secondary gain. Unconsciously, the child gets attached to getting attention like this. As an adult he attracts others with similar feelings and experiences, which in turn create unhealthy relationships. We like our energy signature unconsciously, that is why we remain on that frequency level. We resist change, for fear of losing control and that familiar feeling of feeling safe on that level. Opposites repel each other. People with opposite energy signatures cancel each other out, therefore no relationship is possible. People with opposite energy signatures, usually tend to avoid each other, as they have nothing in common. So how do we change or improve our energy to enhance the quality of our life and relationships. We do this by changing our energy frequency by shifting our internal beliefs, values and validation, basically our self-concepts. We can do this by education, and introspection, by learning and growing our level of consciousness. By apply these principles to our life we change ourselves, thus our energy signature.

13. Another important aspect of being a metaphysician it is essential to not try to change, control, or manipulate others. Any efforts made to change or control others will fail, as nobody likes to be told what to do. This also violates their basic right of free-will, they can do whatever they want. Trying to control or change another adult will cause friction and conflict leading to major arguments in a relationship, This includes not giving unsolicited advice. If the other person’s actions are causing harm, then share a concern. This will give them the opportunity to consider your concern and make the necessary changes. If they are unwilling to take action and remain the same, then it’s advisable to discontinue the relationship with them. If in a conflict or problematic issue it is a simple matter of taste and preference, then it is better to do the following, yield if it is a matter of preference and stand firm if it is a matter of principle, policy or law . Matters of tastes and preferences should not be imposed on others, they are too trivial to matter. All humans are entitled to their own tastes and preferences. Instead of changing or controlling the other person, accept them what they are, not who you want them to be. Manipulation is another form of fit your needs. But on a lesser degree. There are two types of manipulation.

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- The first is healthy manipulation in which no one loses or gets hurt. It’s a win-win situation. Exp-everyone does their fair share of the household chores, arranging your schedule to get a child from school, an appointment, etc.

- The second type of manipulation is unhealthy manipulation, which is never good, as it’s a win-lose situation. Someone loses in some way, due to being denied their right to free will. Unhealthy manipulation is tricking, lying or using indirect schemes to get your way/gains.

Using these tactics is a basic violation of their human rights and should be avoided. When we control others we in a way take responsibility for them, which denies them their basic human rights of taking responsibility for themselves and exercising their right to freely choosing what they want to do.

14 To be perfect one needs to embody the traits of self-completeness. The first is self-acceptance, to be comfortable in your own skin, to accept yourself fully as you are. It also means to have realistic goals for yourself not too high not too low. By accepting yourself as you are, you realize that you deserve to get the same good things in life as everyone else. The second important trait is self-responsibility, to take responsibility for your actions in the past, present and future, we must take responsibility for the choices we make. Along with that don’t expect others to do what you should do for others, what they should do for themselves. The third skill to achieve self-completeness is to have respect for free-will. This includes Respect your own free-will and to respect other’s right to use free-will. Accept yourself as you are. To accept ourselves as we are, is to strive to better any areas of our character and life that needs balancing. To be perfect it is important that we view ourselves as being perfect first.

15 Using Positive affirmations to build self-esteem. This concept is very innovative and easy to use and sticks to your mind. These positive statements are healing rays of light to counter the negative inner voice. They also help ease and resolve negative emotions from past negative experiences. A daily dose of positive affirmation can lift a dull, gloomy day. It can help one let go of negative thinking patterns from past experiences, which can otherwise create emotional burdens, depleting your energy. By accepting the positive self-affirmations you allow yourself to bring a positive life change, which in turn brings about a better life. I particularly found the three areas of self-affirmations very useful in creating a positive mindset. I find that they help quiet the inner negative voice and reinforce who I am. For Instance the I AM statements affirm who I am, for example, I am beautiful, I am energetic, etc. The I CAN statement affirms the potential I have of achieving a goal or purpose, for example I can study hard, etc. The I WILL statement affirms the belief of a positive change is possible to achieve in your life, for example I will meditate today, I will workout for an hour today, etc. You can also use positive self talk to raise your self-esteem. Many challenges and situations can leave one with negative thoughts that may have damaging effects on one’s energy, causing health defects to arise. By instilling positive self-talk into your daily life, one can overcome these negative thoughts and associated emotions. For instance, by looking in the mirror every day and by saying something positive to your image, like;

- You are beautiful - You are loved - You are worth it

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- Your clothes look great- You are worthy to receive all the good things in life

Anything is good, whatever makes you happy and feel good about yourself with others, as they all have the same fears and doubts about themselves at some point in their life. As a metaphysician it is vital to realize the role children play in our lives. As role models we need to show them the way. Self esteem develops early on in life. As children our self-esteem is built from the experience of how we are treated by our parents, family, siblings, school, teachers etc. Basically the adults. So it’s essential to be a good role model to children by ourselves portraying healthy self-esteem in our character and life. That is show through your speech and actions that you respect them (the children) as human beings. You respect their free-will by taking into account their opinions, views, and thoughts and feelings. When they see you behaving in this way, they will imitate your behavior. Create a good environment for them with positive routines, to help them to feel competent, safe and loved. Reward them for their accomplishments with gifts and praises. Give them choices. Avoid arguments, if conflicts do arise between the parents, make sure they see a peaceful end to that conflict.

Conclusion

These life skills enhances the human condition, to a higher living standard and empowers the human spirit to do great things. Education raises awareness and the quality of life, reduces poverty and crime, elevates self-esteem, gives higher paying employment etc. All things that lead to a peaceful and civil society. In a nutshell this information improves the quality and essence of life and existence using practical and theoretical concepts.

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