Beloved Benefactor by Yvonne Whittal

7/31/2019 Beloved Benefactor by Yvonne Whittal

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BELOVED

BENEFACTOR

Yvonne Whittal


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Although she had never met him, Toni felt through his letters that

she knew the unknown benefactor who had been so kind and

generous to her ever since she was a ten-year-old orphan, and she

relied on him heavily. So it was a sad blow when he wrote to say he

thought it best that their correspondence should come to an end. It

was fortunate that at just this' time Toni should have met TarquinRadloff, a man she knew she could love and who could perhaps take

the place of her benefactor. But Tarquin persisted in treating her as a

child and keeping himself at a distance. Could Toni put up with this

situation for long?


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Ross and Dulcie for foster-parents, and two more charming people I

have yet to meet..Then there's this unknown benefactor of yours

who appears to lavish money on you, and he can thank his lucky

stars that you're such an unassuming person, or he might have found

himself saddled with a little money- grabber who was a perfect little

snob. If I'd been in your position, I think I would have become themost horrible creature.'

'Fay, you're a dear friend,' Toni laughed off her embarrassment as

she grabbed her clothes and a sponge bag, 'but if I don't make a dash

for the bathroom, I might find myself at the end of a long queue, and

then I shall miss my train to Pretoria.'

Some minutes later, as Toni allowed herself the brief luxury of

soaking in the hot bath, she thought of the past ten years, and the

almost fairy-tale existence she had led since that dreadful day when

a car accident had robbed her of both her parents.

With no immediate family willing, or able, to take her into their

home, she was placed in the care of an orphanage, where the food

was nourishing but dreadful, and the sombre green walls had given

her the shivers. After a month of acute unhappiness in those

cheerless surroundings, she was called to the matron's office one

dreary afternoon early in December when the long summer holiday

loomed ahead like a nightmare. And it was there, in the austere

atmosphere of the matron's office with its filing cabinets andphotographs of committees past and present, that Toni met Ross

Evans for the first time.

Tall, authoritative, and greying, swiftly he seated himself on the

straight-backed wooden chair, and drew Toni to his side. He

explained that she had been placed in his custody, and that an

unknown benefactor had undertaken the task of paying for hereducation, and whatever else she might require in the future.


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None of this had made any sense to Toni as a ten- year-old, but,

with her meagre belongings packed in one small suitcase, she was

whisked through the rain to a waiting car, and her time in the

orphanage seemed no more than a bad dream which she had luckily

escaped from.

Ross and Dulcie Evans, with no children of their own, took Toni

into their exquisite home in Waterkloof on the outskirts of Pretoria.

She was eventually sent to the most expensive boarding school, but

her holidays were spent with Ross and Dulcie. Their home became

her own, and their love and kindness soon kindled a warm response

in Toni which, even now, made her think of them with deep

affection and gratitude.

It was at the age of fourteen that she became curious for the first

time about her unknown benefactor, and the reasons for his

generosity. Ross, an influential lawyer, had parried her queries for

some time before he finally admitted that it was a man who, for

personal reasons, wished .to remain anonymous. He could not revealthe reason for her benefactor's generosity, but, at Toni's insistence,

he had eventually arranged that she could correspond with this man,

and that he would personally act as go-between.

That was how the unusual correspondence had begun between Toni

and her benefactor. Now, almost six years later, they still wrote to

each other, and Toni derived such pleasure from his letters that shewas quite frequently distraught with concern when his replies were

delayed for some reason. He had become her anchor, her

knowledgeable adviser, and someone she could confide in without

the fear of being considered childish. He knew her hopes and

desires, and understood the loneliness that often overwhelmed her

on the oddest occasions. Her birthdays were never forgotten, and a

beautifully wrapped gift would always arrive with a card attached in

which he had written a few words in his strong, bold handwriting.


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'Yes.' His dark brown hair was evenly flecked with grey, she noticed

as she approached him warily. 'I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.'

'I'm Tarquin Radloff,' he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as

he held out his hand, and her own was engulfed in a warm clasp.

'You have perhaps heard Ross and Dulcie mention my name?'

'Oh, yes, often,' she recalled suddenly, her glance anxious. 'There

isn't anything the matter with them, is there, Mr Radloff?'

'No, you can relax on that score,' he smiled again, displaying strong

white teeth against the tan of his rugged features. 'I'm driving out to

Pretoria to see Ross, so he suggested that I give you a lift to saveyou the uncomfortable train journey.'

'It was kind of Ross to think of me, and of you to agree. I do so hate

these train journeys.' She hesitated briefly, aware that he was

observing her rather closely. 'When did you want to leave?'

'At once, if you're ready.'

She thought of her suitcase which was packed, except for a few last-

minute things, and smiled. 'Would you give me five minutes to get

my things together?'

'Certainly, if I shan't be committing an offence by smoking here?' he

said, slipping his hand into his jacket pocket and hauling out a

straight-stemmed pipe.

'Of course not,' she said quickly, finding an ashtray and placing it on

the table beside a comfortable chair. 'I shan't be long.'

'Well?' Fay demanded, swinging her feet off the bed as Toni enteredtheir bedroom.


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'His name is Tarquin Radloff. He's a friend of Ross and Dulcie's,

and he's giving me a lift to Pretoria,' Toni replied hurriedly as she

packed the remainder of her belongings and closed the lid of the

suitcase.

'Lucky you!'

'Why lucky me?'

'He's awfully good-looking, in a distinguished sort of way,' Fay

remarked with a hint of amusement. 'Didn't you notice?'

'Yes, I did, as a matter of fact,' Toni replied as she threw her jacketover her arm. 'He has a nice smile.'

Fay's expression sobered. 'Are you sure he is who he says he is, and

that he isn't planning to abduct you, or something equally nasty?'

Toni's eyes widened with dismay. 'Really, Fay! What reason would

he have for doing something like that?'

'You're very trusting, you know, and you do have a wealthy

benefactor who's concerned about your welfare.'

'Don't be silly!'

'It may sound silly, but it's happened before, and I would hate it tohappen to you.'

'Are you trying to frighten me, by any chance?'

Fay sighed exasperatedly and rose to her feet to grasp Toni by the

shoulders. 'I'm very fond of you, Toni, and I'm merely issuing a

word of warning.'


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'But he doesn't look like the kind of person who could do something

dreadful.'

'People like that seldom look the part,' Fay said knowingly.

'Oh, heavens!' Toni exclaimed anxiously as she sank down on to thefoot of her bed and faced her friend. 'What am I going to do?'

'Ask him to identify himself in some way. He should be carrying his

identity documents with him anyway.'

'And what do you suppose he'll think of me?' Toni asked in a

shocked voice.

'He'll think you're a careful and sensible young woman.'

'I hope so,' Toni replied with a worried frown. 'I would hate to

offend him.'

Taking Fay's advice, she went downstairs and, placing her suitcaseon the floor beside her, she ventured no further than just inside the

doorway of the lounge.

'Mr Radloff ...' She hesitated, biting her lip nervously as he rose to

his feet and pocketed his pipe. 'Forgive me for asking this, but ... do

you have any identification papers on you?'

His heavy eyebrows rose sharply and she felt herself go hot with

embarrassment.

'Yes, I do,' he said at length, taking his identity book from the inner

pocket of his jacket and extending it towards her. The features in the

photograph were unmistakably his, and so also the name, Tarquin

Alexis Radloff. 'Satisfied?'


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'Well, not all at once, I suppose,' she acknowledged. 'Jobs like that

aren't so easy to find these days, but we hope to work our way up to

such a position one day.'

'When do you do your finals, Antoinette?'

'Next month,' she smiled at him. 'And my friends call me Toni: No

on? calls me Antoinette except..

'Except?' he prompted, glancing at her swiftly.

'My benefactor.' She turned slightly in her seat, her glance taking in

the broad forehead, the straight, high-bridged nose, and the squarechin. The mouth was firm, she noticed, except for the slightly

sensuous lower lip. 'I suppose Ross has told you about him?'

Tarquin hesitated briefly. 'Yes, he has, I think.'

'It's strange, really, that someone such as he should have taken an

interest in me,' she said as they turned on to the Ml and headedtowards Pretoria.

'What's so strange about it?'

'Well, he didn't know me at all. At least... I don't thinkhe knew me

before my parents died, and yet he selected to pay for my education,

and everything else I 'possess.'

A flicker of amusement crossed his face. 'Perhaps he's an eccentric

old man with money to burn.'

'Oh, I don't think that at all,' she contradicted, a little shocked at his

suggestion. 'He's wonderfully kind and understanding, and I think

that at times he's just as lonely as I am.'

'What makes you so certain of that?'


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'We write to each other, and, although he never mentions being

lonely, I occasionally get that impression. I wish sometimes that he

would allow me to telephone him,' she added thoughtfully.

'The telephone is not the best instrument for communication, Toni.

You often end up with nothing at all to say, and too embarrassed tosay the things that are of real importance. It's usually easier to write

about your problems, and to get matters into perspective by putting

it down on paper.'

Toni's expression was grave as she turned towards her companion.

'You're right, of course, Mr Radloff. My benefactor would have said

the same, and he always gives me such good advice.'

He glanced at her briefly, and she glimpsed a hint of amusement in

the depths of his eyes. 'Please call me Tarquin.'

'Thank you, I would like to,' she returned with a smile and a look of

wonder in her eyes. 'You know, Tarquin, I don't know why I'm

talking to you like this. I hardly know you, and yet...'

'You feel as though you've known me for some time,' he finished for

her in that warm, pleasantly deep voice of his.

'Yes,' she laughed with a touch of embarrassment. 'Does that sound

silly to you?'

'No, because I feel exactly the same way as you do.'

'Do you really?'

'Yes, I do.' He kept his eyes on the road, but his lips curved

humorously. 'Perhaps it's because you're such an unassuming child.'

A little shock went through her. 'You're the second person to say

that of me within less than two hours.'


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'Who was the first?'

'Fay,' she replied, quite relaxed now in his company. 'She said my

benefactor could thank his lucky stars that I was so unassuming, or

he might have found that he had a money-grabber on his hands who

was a perfect snob.'

Tarquin laughed for the first time, and it was a deep, throaty sound

that was infectious. 'There are people who consider wealth a very

important factor in their lives.'

Toni wrinkled her nose with distaste. 'Well, I don't, and I feel

terribly guilty about accepting so much from someone who reallyhas no obligation to me at all.'

Tarquin appeared shocked at that. 'Why should you feel guilty about

it?'

'I don't know. Perhaps it's because, when Ross first hauled me out of

that terrible orphanage, I was too young to understand what washappening, and took it all for granted. Then, when I was older, it

troubled me that I should take so much without giving anything in

return.' She gestured expressively with her hands. 'That's when I

managed to persuade Ross to allow me to correspond with my

benefactor.'

'Has it helped to alleviate your guilt?'

She was thoughtful for a moment. 'Not entirely, but I do think he

enjoys my letters as much as I enjoy his. At least, I hope he does.'

He touched her hand briefly, much as Ross would have done. 'I'm

certain he finds your letters very refreshing, and very rewarding.'

'It's very nice of you to say so, Tarquin,' she smiled up at him. 'Now,

we've talked enough about myself, so let's talk about you for a


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change. I think I heard Ross mention once that you're managing

director to one of the large engineering firms. Am I correct?'

'Yes, that's right.'

'Is it your own business?'

'It is now.'

'Are you married?'

'No, I'm a bachelor by choice.'

'Anyone special?' she asked, stealing a mischievous glance in his

direction.

'No.',

'Oh, come now, Tarquin,' she laughed merrily. 'Be a little more

forthcoming.'

'I'm thirty-eight, and a very dull, staid old bachelor.'

'You could never be dull and staid,' she announced firmly. 'I just

won't believe that.'

'You will believe it when you know me better,' he replied withtolerant amusement.

'Am I going to have the opportunity to get to know you better?' she

could not help asking on a slightly breathless note.

'I hope so,' he said, his cool glance meeting hers for a fraction of a

second. 'I've been a friend of Ross and Dulcie's for years, and I hopeyou and I will become friends as well.'


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'I hope so too, Tarquin,' she sighed, finding pleasure in the thought.

'Why have we never met before?'

'You were away at boarding school most of the time, remember?'

'But I've been living in Johannesburg almost two years now. Whydidn't you ever drop in and introduce yourself before?'

They were approaching Pretoria swiftly as he said: 'If I'd known that

you were such a charming young lady, then I wouldn't have

hesitated to make your acquaintance sooner.'

'You do say the nicest things, Tarquin,' she laughed softly. 'Thankyou.'

'How old are you, Toni?' he asked after a brief silence.

'I was twenty last monthwhy?'

'You must have plenty of boy-friends.'

'No, I haven't, and we are supposed to be discussing you,' she

protested. 'Have you forgotten?'

'My dear child, you're a far more interesting subject than I am.

There's absolutely nothing about an elderly man like myself that

could interest you.'

'You don't seem very elderly, and besides, I'm interested to know all

there is to know about you.'

'You're persistent, aren't you?' he said as they passed the university

buildings and finally turned off to the right. 'Very well. I have a flat

in the city where I spend most evenings working, reading, or just

listening to records. When I get the opportunity I do a bit of angling

over the week-ends because I find it relaxing.'


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Toni allowed her glance to dwell on the broad shoulders and the

strong hands resting on the steering wheel. 'You must do more than

that, because you have the appearance of someone who is extremely

fit.'

'I go for a regular work-out in the gym, but, other than that, nothingmore strenuous than relaxing beside the river-bank with a fishing-

rod in my hands.' His expression was somehow mocking. 'Anything

else?'

Slightly taken aback, she asked: 'Has my prying offended you?'

'Not in the least,' he replied candidly.

'I'm so glad,' she sighed, her eyes alight at the sight of the jacaranda

tree flowers paving the street in a carpet of mauve. 'You mentioned

listening to records. What kind of music do you enjoy most?'

'The heavy stuff, I'm afraid. Bach, Tchaikovsky, Beethoven.'

'But how wonderful, so do I!' she exclaimed with delight.

'In that case, you must allow me to take you to the Beethoven

Festival next week,' he offered.

Toni could think of nothing more delightful than going to a music

festival with someone who appreciated good music as much as shedid. 'That would be absolutely lovely, Tarquin, and I shall look

forward to it.'

It was dusk when Tarquin drove through the gates of 'Solitude', and

up the long drive to the large house that stood nestled among the

trees. Ross and Dulcie had heard the car, for the lights on the terracewere switched on suddenly, illuminating the carved pillars, and a

section of the garden that led to the tennis court and swimming pool.

The heavy oak door swung open, and Toni literally fell into their


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arms with a display of affection that was so characteristic of her

spontaneous, warm-hearted nature. Their suitcases were taken up to

their rooms, and Ross opened a bottle of wine before dinner, a habit

he had continued from the days of his youth which had been spent in

the wine-producing valleys of the Cape.

They had changed very little, Toni thought as she observed her

foster-parents during dinner with a warmth in her golden-brown

eyes that was clearly visible to their guest. .The ten years had

whitened Ross's hair to a silvery sheen, but hardly a wrinkle had

been added to his features, while Dulcie had acquired merely a

smattering of grey in her chestnut-coloured hair. Other than these

noticeable changes, they appeared the same to Toni as the day shehad walked into their home for the first time, a: bewildered,

unhappy child who had been instantly warmed by the tenderness

and compassion in Dulcie's green eyes, for that was the kind of

person her foster-mother was.

Ross excused himself after dinner, announcing that he had to make atelephone call, and, after a momentary hesitation, Toni followed him

into his study.

'I know I'm disturbing you, Ross, but may I speak to you for a few

minutes?' she asked, closing the door behind her.

'Of course, my dear. Come and sit down.'

Toni perched on the edge of the desk beside him; her favourite place

when she had something serious to discuss. She extracted a letter

from the pocket of her slacks and extended it towards him. 'Will you

post this for me, Ross?'

Ross turned the letter over in his hands thoughtfully. 'Toni, Isuppose you've realised that once you earn your own living you will


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'Oh, no,' she replied with honesty as she settled herself once more on

the edge of the desk. 'I found him such an easy person to talk to that

I enjoyed the trip immensely.'

'Tarquin is a solid, dependable chap,' Ross said, lighting a cigarette

and blowing the smoke towards the ceiling. 'To his friends he mightappear an amiable sort of fellow, but to his enemies he can be quite

ruthless. It was his father who first kindled my interest in law.'

'I didn't know that,' she remarked with genuine interest. 'Was

Tarquin's father a lawyer?'

'Yes, and a very good one too.'

Another, more pressing problem came to mind, and Toni frowned.

'Ross ... do you think my benefactor might object to continuing our

correspondence when when I've passed my exams?'

'He might,' Ross replied, laying a comforting hand on her arm when

he noticed her downcast expression. 'Don't take it to heart if he doesexpect you to discontinue your letters. You're twenty, a young

woman, and I dare say he would want you to become quite

independent of him.'

'I shall miss his letters.'

'And he will miss yours, but there may be other things in your life

that would give you just as much satisfaction.'

A humorous smile plucked at her lips. 'I suppose you mean a

husband and family.'

'That, too,' Ross admitted, adding with some humour, 'Eventually.'

Toni nodded slowly as she slid off the desk. 'I'll leave you to make

your call.'


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Ross did not detain her, and she made her way out on to the terrace.

The flickering lights of the Jacaranda City did not interest her on

this occasion as she pressed her forehead against the cool pillar and

closed her stinging eyelids. She was seldom depressed, but her

discussion with Ross had left her with the curious sensation that she

was heading for a deep gorge which was filled with an emptinessthat did not bear contemplation.


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CHAPTER TWO

'HAS something upset you, Toni?' a deep pleasant voice asked, and

she turned, leaning back against the pillar when she discovered

Tarquin standing directly in front of her.

'Noyes, but I can't burden you with my problems.'

'If we're going to be friends, then that's exactly what friends are for,'

Tarquin insisted, taking a firm grip on her arm and guiding her

down the steps towards the white garden bench just barely visible

amidst the shadowy shrubs. 'Let's sit here for a while. I'm longing

for a quiet smoke, and while I do, you can tell me what's troublingyou.'

Toni sat stiffly beside him, their shoulders almost touching while he

filled his pipe and lit it, but as the pleasant aroma of his tobacco

filled her nostrils, her reserve crumbled, and she heard herself say:

'Ross warned me that my benefactor may want to discontinue our

correspondence once I've passed my exams, and I'm afraid I can't

visualise the future without those letters.'

'Would the possibility upset you .so terribly?' Tarquin asked,

stretching his long legs out before him and settling himself more

comfortably.

'Yes, it would,' she choked out the words. 'Why, it would feel as

though I've lost a very dear and trusted friend.'

A profound silence settled between them; a silence filled with the

scented mixture of honeysuckle and tobacco as she stared dismally

out across the moonlit garden.

'Toni, you're on the threshold of your life,' Tarquin finally

interrupted the silence, shifting his position slightly to face her. 'In

the not too distant future you might meet someone whom you want


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to marry, and men are selfish creatures , at heart. Divided loyalties

could create jealousy, and corresponding with a man who ceased

being your benefactor once you were able to provide for yourself

would create jealousy and eventual misery in a marriage which

could have been happy.'

'But if I explained that he was more a friend than -'

'It's time you grew up, my dear child. You can't continue indefinitely

with such an unrealistic relationship.'

'But our letters aren't unrealistic at all,' she protested.

'Perhaps not,' he agreed calmly, 'but would you want to cling to your

Mr X for life, regardless of how it affected the one you really loved?

Would you eventually find more comfort in a cold, impersonal

letter, rather than the solid arms of the man of your choice?'

An unpleasant little tremor shook through her as she stared at the

man beside her, whose largeness seemed to be emphasised by themoonlit darkness.

'You make me sound like a lamb that has to be weaned,' she said at

length, her voice ending on a shaky laugh.

'And isn't it something like that?'

The irrational part of her denied this, but the sensible side of her had

to admit that there was a great deal of truth in what he had said, and

she found herself whispering reluctantly, 'Yes, I suppose so.'

'There's no supposition about it,' Tarquin said with a flat finality that

brought her sharply to her senses. 'It may soon be fact and, as youare now prepared for it, you may not find it so difficult to accept.'


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There was an awkward little silence before she heard Fay say

resignedly: 'All right, I accept the fact that you're being a little

cautious, Toni. You've never bothered much with boy-friends, not as

I have, so it's not surprising that I knew from the moment I first met

Jeff that there could never be anyone else for me. Perhaps it's just as

well if you shop around a bit before you finally make up your mind.Marriage is a lifetime of togetherness, and it would be unbearable if

you had to eventually discover that you'd made the wrong choice.'

The subject was not mentioned again, but Toni could not help

feeling a little disturbed at the knowledge that Gary felt so strongly

about her. It was not that she did not like him, for, with his dark hair

and equally dark eyes, he managed to draw plenty of attention tohimself from the opposite sex, and she was not blind to his

attractiveness either. But love! ... that was a serious matter,

something which had not entered into their relationship before,

neither was she sure that she wanted it to.

After the sweltering heat of the day, the air-conditioned interior of

the theatre was like a cool oasis to Toni as she sat beside Tarquin,

anxiously awaiting the start of the performance. It was the first time

she had ever attended anything of this nature, and there was an

unmistakable glow of excitement on her cheeks which appeared to

amuse Tarquin.

'You remind me very much of a little girl at her first party,' he

mocked in a lowered voice as he leaned towards her slightly, his

shoulder touching hers. 'I hope you won't be disappointed.'

'Oh, no! Never! I just know I shan't be disappointed,' she whispered

back adamantly.


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There was a sudden hush in the audience and Toni glanced swiftly

towards the stage in time to see the conductor stepping on to the

rostrum. He acknowledged the burst of applause with a brief bow

before turning towards the orchestra with his baton raised to signify

the start of the programme.

Toni held her breath, on the brink of an experience which she knew

she would never forget, and then, as the first dulcet tones of

Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony washed over her, she was

submerged in a woodland scene of leafy trees, rippling streams, and

tall grass swaying in the breeze.

'Did the evening live up to your expectations?' Tarquin asked somehours later when they sat facing each other across a small table in an

exclusive coffee-bar not far from the theatre.

'Oh, yes, Tarquin, and ... thank you,' she sighed, the mellowed

lighting lending a soft, dreamy look to her eyes.

Tarquin observed her closely for a moment, taking in the gentle

flush of excitement that still lingered in her cheeks, the small,

straight nose, and the generous mouth with the passionate curve to

the upper lip. She was aware of the intensity of his glance, but it did

not trouble her until she saw a frown settling between his heavy

brows and, shaking herself free of her dreamy state of bliss, she

asked:

'Is something troubling you, Tarquin?'

He shook his head briefly, dismissing her query. 'Are you going

home this week-end?'

'No.' She ran an idle finger along the rim of her cup. 'Fay and I havemade tentative arrangements to go to the ice-skating championships

on Saturday evening, and we're hoping to persuade Gary and Jeff to

take us.'


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'I gather that Gary and Jeff are your boy-friends?'

'Well, not exactly,' she laughed, avoiding the mockery of his grey

eyes. 'Gary is Fay's brother, and he's studying medicine at

university. I met him for the first time at the beginning of this year,

and we occasionally make up a foursome with Fay and herboyfriend Jeff. Jeff works for an electrical contractor in the city, and

Fay is pretty serious about him.'

'How serious-?'

'They've talked about marriage, I gather, but they don't intend to

rush into it until they're absolutely sure about each other.'

'A very sensible decision,' he observed dryly.

'Fay is a very sensible personmuch more sensible than I am.'

'Would you have rushed into a marriage if you'd been in her

position?'

'No-o, I don't think so,' Toni replied thoughtfully, 'but once I've

made up my mind about something, I'm inclined to be rather

impatient for the matter to be settled.'

There was a hint of a smile about his firm mouth. 'In other words,

you don't believe in lengthy engagements.'

'If you want to put it that way ... no.'

He held her glance for a moment until she lowered her eyes self-

consciously to the checkered tablecloth. They drank their coffee in

silence, the panelled walls, the murmur of voices, and the strong

aroma of coffee beans in the process of roasting lending a

continental atmosphere to the coffee-bar that remained open till a

late hour in order to accommodate the stream of theatre enthusiasts.


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'Yes ... once,' he nodded abruptly.

'What happened?'

'I'll tell you one day when you're older,' he ended the conversation

brusquely. 'I'm going to take you back to your respectable hostelnow, or I shall be to blame if you fall asleep in class tomorrow.'

His attitude was suddenly that of a stern parent, but Toni was too

pleasantly tired to care. His hand was warm and firm beneath her

elbow as they stepped out on to the almost deserted neon-lit

pavement, and walked the short distance to where he had parked the

Mercedes. The drive back to the College was accomplished in acomparatively short space of time, and Toni was almost reluctant to

accept that the evening had come to an end.

On the stoep, with the breeze moving the soft folds of her dress, and

the single light above the panelled door capturing the gold in her

hair, Tarquin stood looking down at her for a moment with an

unfathomable expression in his cool grey eyes before he touched her

cheek lightly with the back of his hand, much as one would caress a

child.

'Goodnight, Toni.'

'Goodnight, Tarquin,' she echoed softly, 'and thank you for the mostwonderful evening of my life.'

Afterwards, as she undressed in the darkened room so as not to

disturb Fay, she could somehow still feel the touch of his warm

fingers against her cheek. There was nothing complicated about

their relationship, she thought, a smile on her lips as she climbed

into bed. She could talk to Tarquin almost in the same way she hadwritten to her benefactor, knowing that he would understand, and

would give advice if he thought it necessary. With Gary she


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'Ross and Dulcie have known him for some years and, as he was

going to Pretoria to see Ross about something, he offered me a lift

home last week-end at Ross's request.'

'He did more than just take her there,' Fay intervened teasingly. 'He

stayed the week-end and drove her back on the Sunday.'

Toni was beginning to suspect that Fay had deliberately brought up

the subject with some hidden purpose in mind.

'So the great man does come out of his ivory castle occasionally,'

Jeff remarked, a touch of cynicism on his lean face.

'You make him sound like a recluse, Jeff,' Toni said sharply,

instantly on the defensive.

'Ask anyone you wish,' he shrugged, 'and they'll tell you he's seldom

seen in public, except when it's an absolute necessity.'

Toni saw Fay and Gary exchange curious glances, and for somereason there was a certain tightness in her voice as she said: 'Then I

suppose I should feel honoured that he offered to take me to the

Festival.'

'You can say thatagain,' Jeff replied, quite unperturbed as he lit a

cigarette.

Toni lapsed into a disturbed silence after that, finding it difficult to

recapture the happy mood she had been in earlier, and making no

effort eventually to join in the conversation.

Jeff drove them back to the College some time later, but as they

climbed out of the car Gary drew Toni away from the lighted stoepand into the shadows of the trees.


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'Let Fay and Jeff have a few moments alone,' he insisted as she

began to protest.

'But they will wonder -'

'Then let them,' he cut in briskly, gripping her shoulders. 'Toni, whatdoes this man Tarquin Radloff mean to you?'

'He's just an acquaintance, Gary. Nothing more,' she replied tritely.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, of course I'm sure,' she said impatiently, tiring of the subject.

'That's all right, then,' Gary sighed, his breath fanning her forehead.

'What do you mean by that?' she asked, a certain uneasiness stirring

within her as she stared searchingly up at him through the darkness.

His grip on her shoulders tightened. 'You're my girl, Toni, andalthough I can't compete with a man like Tarquin Radloff, I aim to

make sure you're not snatched from under my nose.'

'But I'm not your girl,' she protested, struggling for release, but

finding her arms pinned firmly at her sides.

'Yes, you are,' Gary whispered hoarsely, and the next moment herlips were being crushed beneath his.

'Gary!' she gasped as he released her. 'Why did you do that?'

'I've been wanting to kiss you for a long time, and now I'm going to

kiss you again,' he announced arrogantly, and somehow Toni was

too stunned to try and prevent him.


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was grateful to have those few moments to herself as she selected a

gown of expensive white satin, with the most intricate lace work

across the bodice. She had worn it only once before, to Ross and

Dulcie's recent wedding anniversary celebration, and it would be

ideal on this occasion too.

She hung the dress against the outside of the wardrobe, and stood

back a little to admire it. Yes, she always looked her best in white,

and she undoubtedly wanted to look her best for Tarquin.

That evening, as she faced him across the candlelit table in a

secluded corner of the Green Lantern, Toni knew that her choice

had been correct, for Tarquin's appreciative glances had confirmedthis.

He was the most gracious host and, as he appeared to know so much

more about the complicated menu, she left the selection entirely up

to him. They sipped their wine as they waited, and talked, although

Toni realised afterwards that she had done most of the talking, and

he had merely listened with that slightly humorous expression on his

face.

'Tarquin, is it true that you seldom go out?' she finally asked,

recalling Jeff's disturbing remarks.

'Has someone been telling you things about me?'

'Enough to make me curious, perhaps,' she admitted, 'but don't evade

the question.'

'I seldom attend the many social functions I'm invited to, because I

rarely have the time,' he said, moving his shoulders slightly in the

expensively tailored dinner jacket. 'I enjoy my privacy, and I don'tintend to have people invading it in a way that could be detrimental

to my business.'


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She lapsed into an uncertain silence as they drove through the city

streets, her thoughts centred upon Tarquin's changing moods, and it

was only when he missed the turn-off to the College that she spoke

for the first time.

'You're going the wrong way.'

'No, I'm not,' he said smoothly. 'I have something at my flat that I

want to give to you.'

'Oh.'

He glanced at her suddenly and smiled. 'Relax, Toni. I have nodesigns on your virtue.'

'I never thought you had,' she gasped faintly, surprised to find her

hands clenched in her lap.

'Come now, child,' he teased. 'Admit that, perhaps only for a fleeting

moment, you imagined the worst.'

Toni coloured swiftly, looking everywhere but at him. 'Am I that

transparent?'

'It wasn't difficult to guess your thoughts when I could see you

shrinking up against the door as if you were contemplating a way of

escape,' he mocked her.

'I think you're a bit of a devil, Tarquin, and that you deliberately

wanted me to think the worst,' she scolded with a. hint of laughter in

her voice as she self-consciously moved away from the door.

'Perhaps it's your youth that brings out the devil in me.'


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She glanced at him then with a measure of surprise, taking in the

rugged features illuminated in the dashboard light. 'I don't know

whether I'm supposed to take that as a compliment or not.'

'It was intended as a compliment,' he assured her, and his deep voice

sounded mildly amused. 'You make me feel young again, Toni, andthat could be a little dangerous at my age.'

'Stop pretending you're ancient!' she reprimanded sharply.

'I don't have to pretend. My birth certificate is irrefutable proof of

the fact that I'm no longer as young as I would wish to be,' he

persisted, driving into the basement of a tall block of flats, andparking in the space that was allotted to him.

'Are you angling for crutches on your next birthday?' she asked with

mock severity and a touch of audacity, but to her surprise she saw

him throw back his head and laugh out loud.

She leaned back in her seat and watched him for a moment, unableto explain to herself the effect it had on her to see him like that, but

she didknow that it relieved the look of strain on his features.

'Toni, child, you're the most exquisite tonic,' he said at last when he

managed to control himself, and she found it difficult to suppress

the smile that hovered on her lips.

'I'm happy to be of service, Mr Radloff.'

Moments later she was being swept up in a lift to the tenth floor, and

along a short passage to his flat. He ushered her inside, flicking on

the lights as he did so, and she stood momentarily transfixed,

glancing about his spacious flat with genuine pleasure. Thefurnishings were modern but comfortable, and the colour scheme

ranging from soft beige to various shades of brown. A typically


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masculine choice, she thought, but it was infinitely pleasing on the

eye.

Several original paintings hung on the walls, and they consisted of

carefully selected landscapes which were unmistakably South

African. His expensive hi-fi equipment had been mounted onshelves against the one wall, with potted plants placed cleverly in

various places to camouflage the steel fittings, while at the same

time lending an almost outdoor atmosphere to the room.

'Tarquin, you have remarkable taste,' she complimented him,

walking further into the room and glancing about her appreciatively.

'I can't take the credit for it entirely,' he told her, gesturing vaguely.

'Most of the ideas had been put forward by the interior decorators,

and I merely selected the one which appealed to me.'

'The paintings were entirely your own choice, surely,' she remarked,

examining one of the larger prints more closely, and noting the

cleverly blended colours used on the mountains in the background.

'My choice entirely, yes,' he admitted, standing directly behind her.

'I've always favoured landscapes.'

This pleased her somehow, and turning to face him, she found she

had to crane her neck to meet his glance. 'Do you do muchentertaining?'

'Occasionally ... but never here. I usually arrange a dinner at a quiet

restaurant somewhere,' he replied matter-of-factly. 'I have someone

who comes in daily to clean up the place, but I usually rustle up my

own dinner in the evenings when I'm alone, or I have something at a

little place around the corner from here if I feel like dining out.'

Toni's eyes widened in surprise. 'Don't tell me you can add cookery

to your other talents?'


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'I wouldn't say I'm an expert on the subject, but I can prepare an

edible meal if I put my mind to it,' he smiled slightly without a trace

of embarrassment.

'That reminds mewould you care for some coffee?'

'Yes, please,' she nodded, shedding her wrap. 'If you'll let me make

it?'

'Do you still doubt my capabilities?' he mocked her.

'No.' She shook her head, and the sheen of her honey-gold hair was

trapped in the lights. 'It would make me happy to do something foryou.'

His cool glance appraised her with something close to astonishment

before he relented. 'The kitchen is through there,' he gestured

towards a door leading off to the left. 'Will you need me to show

you where everything is?'

'I'll let you know if I'm unable to find anything,' she agreed, taking

him quite brazenly by the shoulders and pushing him gently into a

large reclining chair. 'Sit down and put your feet up. I'm sure you're

dying for a smoke.'

His eyes were laughing up at her. 'How did you guess?'

'Easy,' she said, her glance sparkling with humour as she gestured

towards the beautifully carved stinkwood pipe stand on the marble-

topped table beside his chair. 'You haven't been able to take your

eyes off that pipe stand from the moment we arrived here.'

She could still hear him chuckling softly as she entered the smallkitchen with its white tiles and stainless steel cupboards. She filled

the kettle and switched it on, amazed now at her initial nervousness

in .accompanying him to his flat, and amused at the unflattering


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'Very well, I won't,' he agreed, rising to his feet in an agitated

fashion to lean against the stand that contained his hi-fi equipment,

and looking down at her through a haze of smoke. 'You can give me

your word, my dear, that if ever you need someone to talk to, or a

shoulder to cry on, that you'll come to me, or telephone me. Here, or

at the office, it doesn't matter. I shall be there if you need medayor night.'

Toni stared at him for a moment in stunned silence, puzzled by his

amazing offer, yet grasping at it almost blindly as she set the album

aside and went to him.

'Tarquin ... I don't know why you're being so kind to me, butthankyou. For the gift, and for what you've just said.' With a spontaneity

that was so true to her nature, she placed a hand on either side of his

face, his skin warm and rough beneath her touch as she drew his

head down to kiss him on the cheek. 'I have a feeling I shall soon be

needing you very much.'

Tarquin covered up his surprise swiftly. 'Then you'll do as I ask?'

She nodded, turning away to hide the tears which had come

unbidden to her eyes, but Tarquin, perceptive as usual, was not

fooled by her action, and he came up behind her to press a clean

white handkerchief into her hands.

'I'm behaving like an absolute idiot,' she said crossly into the fine

linen, trying to stem the flow of tears and failing.

His hands were unexpectedly gentle on her slender shoulders as he

turned her about to face him. 'Then why not make use of the

shoulder I've offered, and make a proper job of it?'

'Oh, Tarquin ...' Toni was not ordinarily one for weeping, but, for

some inexplicable reason, the tears flowed without restraint as she

buried her face against the comforting breadth of his chest, and


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'Don't take this too much to heart, my dear.' Did he think she would

take it laughingly? she wondered in distress, blinking her lashes

rapidly to clear her vision. 'All things must end somewhere, and we

must accept this with good grace. I shall miss your informative

letters, I admit, for they brought a sparkle to my normally dreary

existence, but I can't be selfish in this respect Trust my judgmentnow, as you've always trusted it in the past, and stay the sweet and

generous person you are.' It was signed, 'Your grateful Benefactor.'

Toni refolded the letter and slipped it into the envelope, but she was

hardly aware of what she was doing. He had been her anchor in life;

someone she had known she could depend on. But all at once there

was nothing, and she had the strangest feeling that she had beenabandoned like an unwanted child on the doorstep of someone's

house.

'Was it what you'd expected?' Fay's voice interrupted her turbulent

thoughts.

'Yes.'

'Care to talk about it?' her friend asked with concern.

'Not now, Fay,' she choked out the words, struggling for control and

the necessary composure to face the afternoon. 'Later, perhaps.'

Faced with the problem of sorting through their possessions, Fay

and Toni stared at each other rather helplessly that Saturday

morning.

'Much as I looked forward to the day that I would pack my thingsand say goodbye to this place for ever, just as much am I dreading

it,' Fay remarked whimsically, voicing Toni's thoughts exactly.


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'It's been hard work, mostly, but it's been fun,' Toni acknowledged,

dropping a neat pile of clothes into her suitcase and surveying the

remaining contents of her cupboard with a frown. 'I honestly don't

know where I'm going to find place for everything.'

'Stop worrying about it,' Fay laughed carelessly. 'We'll scrounge afew wooden boxes from the storeroom and shove the rest in there.'

Toni could not prevent herself from grinning as she imagined

Dulcie's shocked expression if she should arrive home with several

wooden boxes forming part of her luggage.

There was a sharp tap on their door. 'Toni, there's a visitor for you.'

'I'll be down in a minute,' Toni called back, frowning and muttering

to herself as she closed the lid of her suitcase with difficulty. 'I

wonder who it could be?'

'It wouldn't be Gary,' Fay said with certainty. 'He never gets up

before eleven on a Saturday morning.'

Toni did not waste much time over speculation, so it came as a

pleasant surprise to see the familiar tall figure emerge from one of

the chairs in the visitors' lounge as she entered.

'Tarquin!' His name on her lips was almost a sigh of relief as she

went forward and placed her hands in his. 'How good it is to see

you!'

His eyes mocked her gently as he said: 'When you say it in that

breathless little voice of yours, I can almost believe that you are

pleased to see me.'

'Oh, but I am,' she protested anxiously. 'I'm always pleased to see

you.'


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'I'm flattered,' he bowed slightly, releasing her hands as he did so. 'I

thought you might like to go for a drive. I take it you're not going

home immediately?'

'No,' she shook her head. 'There's still plenty to do, so we decided to

delay our departure until Tuesday.'

'Good,' he said abruptly. 'We could have lunch somewhere, and

come back later this afternoon.'

'Oh, Tarquin,' her eyes shone with pleasure as she met his

deceptively cool glance. 'That sounds absolutely wonderful!'

'I'll be waiting in the car for you.'

Toni mounted the stairs in breathless haste, to find herself

confronted by a curious Fay moments later.

'Who was it?' she demanded without preamble.

'Tarquin,' Toni informed her, changing swiftly into brown slacks

and a yellow sweater that suited her colouring to perfection. 'He's

taking me out for the day.'

'Where to?' Fay asked suspiciously, coming up behind Toni and

meeting her glance in the mirror while she brushed her hair and

applied fresh make-up.

'I have an idea he intends driving somewhere into the country.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Toni laughed exasperatedly, dropping her brush on to the dressing-

table as she turned. 'Fay, I sometimes think I'm safer with Tarquin

than with Gary.'


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'What a thing to say!' Fay exclaimed, her expression registering

shocked surprise, and a hint of hurt.

'But it's true,' Toni explained gently. 'My friendship with Tarquin is

platonic and uncomplicated, but where Gary is concerned? ... well,

that's another matter.'

Considerably mollified, Fay asked: 'You mean that, with Gary,

there's the emotional angle to consider?'

'Yes, you could say that,' Toni smiled at her friend.

Fay's green eyes sparkled with mischief. 'Well, it makes me happyto know that there is at least an emotional, angle where my brother

is concerned.'

'Fay, you're impossible!' Toni laughed, her cheeks stained a delicate

pink as she hauled a large bag out of the cupboard and pushed a few

things into it which she might require. After a momentary hesitation,

she removed her benefactor's letter from the desk drawer anddropped it into her bag.

'What do I tell Gary if he should pitch up here in the hope of seeing

you?'

'Why, the truth, of course,' Toni said with a certain amount of

surprise as she zipped up her bag and prepared to leave.

'He won't like it,' Fay warned, fingering her dark ponytail

thoughtfully.

'Just do your best to explain,' Toni replied calmly, slipping the strap

of her bag over her shoulder and striding towards the door. 'See youlater this afternoon, Fay.'


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She heard Tarquin remove his jacket and from beneath her lashes

saw him fold it into an improvised Cushion for her. 'Lie down and

rest for a while.'

'I wouldn't dream of it,' she promptly rejected the idea.

'Stop arguing, and do as you're told, Toni.' A heavy hand gripped

her shoulder and pushed her down until her head rested on his

jacket. 'You have a few strenuous weeks behind you, and you need

these few hours to unravel your mind and to relax completely.'

'You're so kind and thoughtful, Tarquin,' she smiled up at him a little

uncertainly. 'I can't help wondering why at times.'

'Are you looking forward to your holiday at home?' he asked,

ignoring her remark.

'Yes, I am.' The smell of the wild grass and the sound of the river

was all around them as she sent him a glance that was

unintentionally pleading. 'Will you come out to Pretoria and see usover Christmas, or will you be away?'

'I have no plans as yet, so I might just take a drive in that direction

one day,' he replied in a not too promising tone of voice.

'If you do, be sure to bring your swimming gear. We practically live

beside the pool during the Christmas season.'

Her thoughts turned inevitably to the previous Christmas, and the

magnificent bouquet of proteas she had received from the man who

had so kindly set himself up as her benefactor. After stating so

categorically that he wished to discontinue their correspondence,

would he object to receiving a Christmas card from her? shewondered distractedly, and floundering like a fledgling leaving its

nest for the first time.


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CHAPTER FOUR

TONI had taken great care that morning with her makeup in an

attempt to hide the faint shadows beneath her eyes, but the

unhappiness in their golden-brown depths were clearly visible to

Tarquin's perceptive glance.

'What's the problem, Toni?'

She closed her eyes for a moment, knowing that she would burst

into tears if she were forced to discuss the subject at that moment.

She needed time to steel herself against the hurt, she thought as she

said evasively, 'Should there be a problem?'

'Credit me with some intelligence!'

Tarquin's impatience with her was her undoing, and the tears which

she had tried so desperately to suppress since receiving that dreadful

letter rose to her eyes and spilled over on to her cheeks as she sat up

quickly and turned her back on him.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered brokenly, groping in her bag for the

handkerchief and finding it quite ineffectual against the flood of

tears, for it was soaked within seconds.

'No, I'm the one who should apologise,' Tarquin corrected in a

gender tone, pressing a large handkerchief into her hands, and

drawing her back against him. 'It never ceases to amaze me that

women carry such flimsy bits of lace about with them. They're

useless in a situation such as this.'

Toni choked back a giggle as she dried her. eyes. 'Perhaps it's

because most women have the subconscious hope that there'll be agood, strong, dependable man about on such an occasion who would

gallantly offer his large handkerchief for the purpose of mopping up

our silly tears.'


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'I wonder ...'

'What do you wonder, child?' he prompted, reaching out to touch her

hair and letting it curl softly about his fingers.

'Do you suppose that, in some way, my letters were anembarrassment to him?'

'When the initial hurt has subsided, read that letter again, and you'll

discover that he's feeling just as unhappy about the situation, but

that he's doing what he Considers best for you.'

She raised her glance to his, noticing the strained look in his greyeyes. 'Do you honestly think so?'

'Yes, I do.'

His hand was warm and a little rough against her cheek now as she

swallowed at the restriction in her throat and came to terms with the

situation. 'Well, I suppose if that's the way he wants it, then Ishouldn't make a fuss about it.'

'Now you're being sensible,' he smiled briefly, releasing her and

leaning back against the tree with a tired look about his eyes. 'Tell

me about your exams.'

Toni lowered her chin to her knees, glad now that she had spoken ofher problem. 'Most of the papers were pretty stiff, but I think I've

passedunless they intend to fail me for dropping a supposedly

important file, and spilling the contents all over the floor.'

He glanced at her swiftly. 'How did that happen?'

'I'd just received that letter, and we were doing Speech and

Deportment after lunch,' she explained, no longer finding her


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thoughts so painful. 'I was more than a little shaky at the start of the

test, but afterwards everything went smoothly.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Why should you be sorry?' she asked in surprise.

'Because you can be such an emotional child at times.'

'And what makes you suspect that I'm emotional?'

Tarquin raised his eyebrows mockingly. 'Haven't you wept into my

handkerchief on two occasions to my knowledge?'

Toni lowered her glance swiftly, but her heightened colour

conveyed her discomfort. 'It's not very kind of you to remind me.'

'You'll discover, Toni, that I am never kind,' he assured her harshly,

but, recalling his gentleness on certain occasions, she found this

impossible to accept.

'I refuse to believe that you're a tyrant.'

'You haven't put me on a pedestal, have you?' he queried suddenly.

She smiled then. 'No, but I refuse to believe you could be anything

but kind and considerate.'

'You're certainly good for my ego, child.'

'I'm not a child,' she protested, taking a sudden dislike to that term of

address.

'No, you're a young lady,' he mocked her openly. 'Does that makeyou happier?'


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'What are you sketching?' he asked eventually, knocking his pipe

out against the tree.

'You,' she admitted, swiftly adding the finishing touches.

'May I see it?'

'If you promise not to laugh,' she agreed nervously.

Tearing out the page, she passed it to him and waited anxiously for

his opinion. He studied it for some time and she watched him

closely, a nervous little pulse throbbing in her throat.

'This is very good,' he said at last. 'Except that you've been kind

enough to make me look younger.'

'I wasn't being kind to you at all,' she replied, a little shocked at his

remark. 'You were relaxed, and it made you appear more youthful.'

There was derisive mockery in the eyes that met hers. 'You admitthen that I usually look my age?'

'I admit nothing of the sort,' she retorted crossly, 'and stop trying- to

give the impression that you're as old as Methuselah!'

A look of astonishment crowed his face. 'My dear child, when I was

twenty I considered everyone over the age of thirty as old, so whyshould I imagine you think differently?'

'You're being silly, Tarquin,' she rebuked him gently. 'Do you

always allow your age to trouble you in this way?'

'No,' he said, his glance taking in her slender curves. 'Perhaps it's

your youthfulness that emphasises my age in a way that's not always

acceptable to me.'


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'To me you're not old, Tarquin,' she said, a thought occurring to her

which was quite disturbing. 'But, if my presence instigates this

feeling, would you rather we don't see so much of each other?'

'That wouldn't solve the problem, my dear, it would only make it

worse,' he assured her, placing a finger beneath her chin and raisingher face to his so that she was forced to meet his cool glance. 'I

enjoy your company, Toni. You're not afraid to speak your mind,

and I like the way you occasionally order me about.'

'You mean, because you're way up there in your ivory tower, people

mostly tremble before you?'

'That's one way of putting it, I suppose,' he frowned, releasing her

and looking out across the river.

She reached up impulsively and kissed his cheek. 'I think you're

very nice, and very human. And I would like to prove how wrong

they all are about you.'

'Toni, I'm not necessarily the same at work as I am with you,' he said

with tolerant amusement. 'If you want to stay on top, you have to be

a little ruthless at times.'

'Are you trying to tell me that you're harsh and mean, and an

absolute ogre?'

'Something like that,' he admitted, now openly amused.

'Shame on you,' she teased, holding out her hand. 'May I have my

sketch back, please?'

'You may not,' he said firmly, rising to his feet. 'I intend to keep it.'s

'But it isn't a good sketch at all,' she protested as she saw him put it

away safely in the dashboard of the car.


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Refusing to have her convictions dampened by his mockery, she

said: 'I think you would make some lucky woman an exacting but

wonderful husband, and you'd be a splendid father, but I won't

embarrass you by rattling off a further list of your virtues.'

Tarquin was silent for a moment, apparently finding some difficultyin keeping his pipe alight, then, without looking at her, he said: 'If I

ever have the good, or bad, fortune to meet someone I want to

marry, then I shall send the lady to you for a reference.'

'Do that,' she laughed, but the thought was curiously disturbing, and

it lingered in her mind throughout the rest of the day despite her

efforts to shake off the uneasiness that came with the thought ofTarquin marrying someone who might object to their deepening

friendship.

Toni and Fay spent their last evening before the holidays with Jeff

and Gary, and, as always, Gary drew Toni into the shadows of the

trees when they returned to the hostel. His kisses stirred her

emotions, but she once again experienced that feeling of withdrawal

within her when he became too passionate.

'I shall see you during the holidays,' he said at last. 'Rustenburg isn't

so terribly far from Pretoria, but don't forget me in the meantime.'

'Don't be silly, Gary,' she laughed softly, trying to free herself from

his arms. 'I must go in. I still have plenty of packing to do.'

'Not yet, sweetheart,' he protested, his breath warm against her

cheek. 'One last kiss before you go ... hm? Am I asking too much?'

'No, I suppose not,' she relented, offering him her lips reluctantly,

but she regretted her action instantly. His kiss was possessive, and


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Except for a printed Christmas card from Tarquin, she saw nothing

of him at all over the Christmas holidays. She had telephoned him at

his flat one evening, but there had been no reply, and she did not

have the nerve to try again, hoping instead that he would contact her

when he had a free moment.

Her benefactor, too, had dealt her a severe blow that Christmas by

not replying to the Christmas card she had selected specially for

him, but it made her realise, only too clearly, that he had been

deadly serious about discontinuing their association.

With Christmas and the New Year celebrations behind her, Toni

idled away the time in their private pool, escaping in that way fromthe excessive January heat while she waited for the employment

agency in Johannesburg to contact her.

There was nothing rare about spending a Sunday alone at home with

Dulcie away playing tennis, and Ross on the golf course, but on this

occasion Toni felt somehow dejected as she settled down at the side

of the pool with a book and an umbrella for shade. She read for a

while, but found her mind wondering aimlessly, and, shrugging off

her towelling robe, she finally dived into the pool and swam across

it several times until she had worked off most of her excess energy.

She turned over on to her back, floating in a leisurely fashion and

wondering what to do with the rest of the morning, when someoneplunged into the pool behind her, sending a spray of water in all

directions. Arms flailing in an effort to face her unknown

companion, she turned just in time to see a tanned, muscular body

approach her swiftly beneath the water, but, before she had time to

cry out, strong hands gripped her slender waist and lifted her almost

clear out of the water.

'Tarquin!' she screamed, recognition bringing with it a flood of relief

as she clutched frantically at his powerful shoulders for support and


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'He can't afford to,' came the abrupt reply. 'He needs the money, and

I have it.'

'It sounds terribly ruthless to me,' she challenged.

Namibia is suffering the same economic crisis we are in thiscountry, and the small business man just doesn't stand a chance.

Peter realises this, and that's why he's selling out while he's still able

to regain most of the capital he put into the business.'

'What you actually intend doing, then, is to open up a branch in

Namibia?'

'Something like that,' he smiled slightly. 'Race you to the other side!'

His unexpected challenge caught her unawares, and she came a poor

second, but laughing and spluttering she admitted defeat. They

swam about lazily for some time after that before he hauled himself

out, instructing her to do the same. A flicker of admiration raced

through her at the sight of his muscular body in the dark bluebathing trunks, and Toni stared almost hypnotically at the way the

muscles in his arm rippled when he took her hand and lifted her

effortlessly out of the water.

'Have you found yourself a job yet?' he asked as they reclined in the

deck chairs with a long, cool drink she had collected from thekitchen.

'No,' she shook her head, watching a dragonfly hovering expectantly

above the water. 'My name is down at the agency in Johannesburg,

but I haven't heard from them yet.'

'Would you consider a temporary post as private secretary toGraham Todd for six months?'


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She glanced at him then, her eyes wide and questioning beneath

gently arched brows. 'Graham Todd, the lawyer?'

'Yes,' he said, draining his glass and placing it on the table beside

him.

'But surely he would want someone with experience?'

'He's not concerned with that at the moment,' Tarquin gestured

impatiently. 'He's looking for someone who's bright and intelligent

to take his secretary's place while she's away on a six-month visit

overseas.'

Suspicion stirred unreasonably within her. 'You haven't been pulling

a few strings on my behalf, have you?'

'No, I haven't,' he said abruptly as if the thought was distasteful. 'I

ran into Graham yesterday, and he happened to mention his

predicament. Jobs are difficult to get these days, and most firms

want someone with previous experience. Six months as Graham'sprivate secretary would give you an enviable reference with which

to find something else eventually.' His glance sharpened.

'Interested?'

'Very,' she admitted, excitement rising within her.

'Do you think you could be in Johannesburg on Tuesday morning?'

'There's nothing to stop me.'

'Good,' he nodded. 'I've made a provisional appointment for you to

see Graham at eleven, but I'll confirm it with him first thing

tomorrow morning.' He frowned at her. 'Do you know whereGraham's rooms are?'


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'Yes,' she said a little breathlessly at the speed with which things

were moving. 'In Braamfontein, quite close to the railway station.'

'Right,' he said, rising to his feet. 'I'll meet you at Enrico's in Troye

Street for lunch at twelve-thirty, then you can tell me how the

interview went.'

'Where are you going?' she demanded, sitting up abruptly as he

strode purposefully towards the sliding glass doors.

He turned then, indicating his bathing trunks. 'I can't drive back to

Johannesburg like this.'

The realisation that he intended leaving almost at once drove her to

action, and nimble-footed she ran towards him, gripping his arm

anxiously. 'But you're staying to lunch, aren't you? Dulcie always

prepares enough food to feed an army, so one extra wouldn't matter.'

The muscles in his arm tightened beneath her touch as he glanced

down at her with a look of irritation on his face. 'My dear child, Ihave a stack of work to get through before tomorrow and, much as I

would love to stay, I must get back.'

He removed her hand gently but firmly from his arm and stepped

inside, his broad back turned formidably towards her as he made his

way across the sun- room with its bright cane furniture and pottedplants.

'Why didn't you save yourself the trip by just telephoning? It would

have taken up less of your valuable time.'

An ominous silence followed her peevish remark as he turned

slowly to face her, and, leaning back against the glass door with theedge of the metal frame digging into her back, she realised her

blunder.


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'It will do,' she smiled, expelling her breath slowly and thankful that

the moment of danger had passed.

Tarquin strode swiftly from the room, but he left Toni feeling

inexplicably happy. He had missed her after all!

After a moment of indecision she hurried up to her room and

changed into shorts and a thin sweater, brushing her hair until it

shone, and applying a little make-up before she pushed her feet into

a pair of comfortable sandals.

To her surprise Tarquin awaited her in the hall, a careless finger

hooked in the dark grey jacket which was slung carelessly acrossone shoulder, and his hair, darkened by dampness, combed back

severely. He was admiring Dulcie's newest acquisition, a delicately

cut, narrow-necked glass vase, when he turned at the sound of Toni's

steps on the tiled floor.

His expression was inscrutable as his glance took in her long-limbed

youthfulness. 'I thought for a moment that you'd gone into

seclusion.'

'I have every intention of behaving like the perfect hostess by

walking you to your car,' she said in an attempt at haughtiness,

wrinkling her nose at him suddenly and laughing softly. 'Dulcie is

very concerned about what the neighbours think, and it wouldn't dofor me to be seen in the driveway, saying farewell to a man while I

was dressed in a towelling robe which would give the impression

that I'd just stepped out of bed.'

Unexpected laughter lurked in his eyes as they stepped outside, but,

before he could reply, Dulcie's green Fiat came up the drive and

crunched to a halt at the foot of the steps behind Tarquin'sMercedes.


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'Aren't you staying to lunch, Tarquin?' she asked, slamming the car

door, and looking remarkably young in her tennis dress as she came

up the steps towards them. 'Ross will be here any moment now.'

Tarquin shook his head. 'Some other time, Dulcie, but warn him that

I shall be coming through soon to challenge him to a game of golf.'

'That should perk him up tremendously, Tarquin. He's been

complaining lately that the competition is rather low these days,' she

explained laughingly, knowing that Ross always considered Tarquin

a strong challenger. 'Make it soon, though, and come for the week-

end.'

'I'll let you know as soon as I have a free week-end,' he promised,

and Dulcie excused herself, leaving them alone once more.

Toni walked silently beside him down to his car, wondering what

Ross and Dulcie would have to say about the prospect that she

might soon be leaving home again, but her attention returned swiftly

to the man beside her as he flung his jacket into the back of the car

and turned to face her, his eyes narrowed against the sun.

'Tuesday, twelve-thirty at Enrico's?'

'Yes,' she nodded. 'And Tarquin ... I missed you too,' she confessed

without embarrassment, standing on tiptoe to brush her lips againsthis cheek, but Tarquin turned his head a fraction, capturing her lips

unexpectedly with his own.

It had all happened so swiftly that he had climbed into his car and

was driving through the gates before she had time to register

surprise. She raised experimental fingers to her lips, not knowing

what she expected to find, but a wave of colour surged into hercheeks as she realised that it had been a brief but totally pleasing

experience.


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Graham Todd was younger than Toni had expected, for she judged

him to be in his early forties when she faced him across the large

desk in his ultra-modern office that Tuesday morning. He was

obviously a man who did not believe in wasting time, for he glancedbriefly at her reports and fired rapid questions at her.

Finally, peering at her over the fop of his dark-rimmed spectacles,

he asked: 'How soon can you start?'

'As s-soon as you like,' she stuttered, unable to believe that he

considered her suitable.

'Monday?'

'Yes.'

'Good.' He smiled then, transforming his appearance into something

less frightening. 'You have a week to pick up the general routinefrom Mrs MacDonald, but after that you'll be on your own.' He rose

to his feet, thrusting a hand towards her, and her fingers were once

again crushed in his firm grip. 'I shall expect you on Monday at

eight-thirty.'

.With almost an hour at her disposal before she had to meet Tarquin,

Toni found herself wandering through the streets in a dazed fashion,

killing time by doing a fair amount of window-shopping, yet not

taking in much of what she saw.

She arrived at Enrico's a little early, but at the mention of Tarquin's

name she was immediately ushered towards a secluded table in the

restaurant. The Italian manager explained in broken English thatSignor Radloff was a regular customer, and that it was their

privilege to offer him the best table in the restaurant.


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CHAPTER FIVE

'IT seems as though you're an honoured customer,' Toni remarked

teasingly as they sipped their wine.

Tarquin shrugged carelessly. 'I did Enrico a favour once shortly afterhe arrived in this country, and he's never forgotten.'

'And you insist that you're not kind,' she mocked him gently.

'There was no kindness involved in the favour,' he said abruptly,

changing the subject. 'When do you start work?'

'Monday.'

'Have you found yourself accommodation yet?'

'No,' she shook her head, her fingers lightly caressing the delicate

stem of the glass. 'I shall have to make a few enquiries this

afternoon.'

'That won't be necessary. I've tentatively booked a room for you at a

respectable residential hotel which is situated on the bus route to

Graham's offices. All you have to do is go along and confirm it.'

Toni stared at him for a moment with a slight feeling of irritation.

'Why do I have the distinct feeling that you're organising my life?'

His eyes narrowed, flicking over her censoriously. 'I'm not

organising your life, Toni. I'm merely trying to make it a little easier

for you.' , 'Why?'

His lips curved into a derisive smile. 'Perhaps it's because you still

have that helpless look of a child about you.'


79/194

'I'm not a child,' she argued, disliking the term intensely. 'And I'm

quite capable of looking after myself, you know.'

'Are you?' he mocked, but before she could think of a suitable reply

their lunch was served, and her irritability disappeared miraculously

as she glanced at the decoratively prepared salads which succeededin awakening her appetite. Enrico had excelled himself, and

Tarquin, remarking upon this, caused Enrico to return to his kitchen,

wreathed in smiles.

Toni no longer had any desire to pick up the conversation where

they had left off, and she applied herself to her food, looking up for

the first time when Tarquin asked: 'Have you accepted the fact thatyour benefactor has stepped out of your life?'

Her glance clouded. 'I've accepted it in the way I've had to accept so

many things in my life.'

'Do I detect a note of bitterness?' he asked, his lips tightening

considerably.

'No, Tarquin,' she replied firmly. 'I've been very happy with Ross

and Dulcie, and I've enjoyed everything of the best, but there are

times when the desire to actually belong to someone is very strong.'

Embarrassment stained her cheeks. 'Does that sound silly to you?'

His hand found hers across the table and closed about it warmly.

'No, it doesn't. It's the most natural thing to want to belong to

someone, and to feel that they're a part of you, but you'll know that

feeling once you're married with children of your own.'

Was there a hint of loneliness in his voice, or was it merely her

imagination? 'Do you occasionally have the same desire to belong tosomeone?'


80/194

The shutters snapped down over his eyes as he released her hand

abruptly and applied himself to his food. 'I belong to my work, and

it gives me all the satisfaction that I need.'

'I can't imagine there being any warmth in a relationship such as

that, or that it could be as fulfilling as being married to the rightwoman.'

'The right woman never came along, and now it's too late.'

'It's never too late, Tarquin,' she replied with a rush of warmth.

A flicker of amusement crossed his stern features. 'Do you think so?'

Toni glanced at him helplessly, but knew better than to pursue the

subject, for a bachelor such as Tarquin would not be easily

convinced.

*

Toni's first week in her new job was not as nerve- racking as she had

expected it to be. Mrs MacDonald, a charming woman in her late

forties, was considerate and encouraging, and almost apologetic

about the fact that she was flying to England to see her family for

the first time in fifteen years.

She patiently explained the office procedure to Toni, making her gothrough it step by step, but, with Mrs MacDonald's departure at the

end of that week, Toni still felt decidedly inadequate. She

discovered, however, that Graham Todd was an easy man to work

for despite his abruptness which made him a frightening opponent in

court, and she soon settled down in her new environment.

Soon afterwards Fay arrived in the city, fired with energy for her

new job. On Toni's recommendation, she moved in at the same

hotel, but it did not take them long to decide that a suitable flat was


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what they wanted, and that they would spend every free moment

hunting for it.

It was during the last week in January that Toni pushed her work

aside for a moment, making up her mind, at last, to telephone

Tarquin at his office. This was something she had usually managedto avoid in the past, but on this occasion she felt justified in doing

so, for to keep the wonderful news to herself a moment longer was

asking a little too much.

'Mr Radloff does not wish to be disturbed it the moment,' his

secretary informed Toni a few seconds later. 'May I have your name,

please?' Toni swallowed her disappointment and supplied her name,then, to her astonishment, the businesslike voice said: 'Just a

moment, Miss Schafer, I'll put you. through at once.'

The line went dead for a second or two before Tarquin's deep voice

said: 'Hello, Toni. What can I do for you?'

'Tarquin, I'm sorry,' she apologised at once. 'Your secretary said you

weren't to be disturbed.'

'I can spare you a few minutes.'

'I'll be quick, then,' she promised guiltily. 'Tarquin, I thought you'd

want to know that Fay and I have passed our exams. We got ourresults this morning.'

'Congratulations, my dear,' he said warmly. 'This calls for a

celebration. Do the two of you have escorts for this evening?'

'I think Fay has rounded up Jeff and Gary, but we haven't decided

yet what we're going to do.'

There was a brief pause before he said: 'Would you allow me to

make a few arrangements for you?'


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'What kind of arrangements, Tarquin?' she asked suspiciously.

'Would you object to having dinner somewhere at my expense?'

Part of her instantly rejected this idea, while the other warned her to

be careful. 'I... don't, know.'

'Leave it to me, Toni, and I'll ring you back as soon as I've arranged

it.'

'But, Tarquin -?'

The line went dead abruptly, and she sighed as she dropped thelifeless receiver on to its hook. She should have guessed that

Tarquin would think up something such as this, and a wave of

embarrassment swept over her at the thought that his offer might

stem from what he considered she had expected of him.

All manner of thoughts plagued her as she drew her typewriter

closer and continued with the letters Graham had dictated to her thatmorning, but she found herself making foolish errors and having to

re-type several pages. When the telephone rang a half hour later, she

lifted the receiver with a feeling of trepidation.

'Graham Todd's office.'

Tarquin wasted little time with preliminaries. 'Toni, I've booked atable for four at the Sheridan for seven o'clock this evening. For

dining and dancing they're the best, so I hope you enjoy yourselves,

and don't worry about the expense.'

'But, Tarquin, we couldn't'

'Of course you can,' he interrupted impatiently. 'Accept it as a

congratulatory gift from a friend.'


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'Will you be there?' she asked hopefully.

'No, I have a business engagement this evening.'

'Oh.' Disappointment mingled with her guilt. 'Tarquin, I feel terrible

about this. I didn't telephone you with the intention of getting anevening's free entertainment out of you.'

There was a chilling silence at the other end of the line. 'I never

thought that for one moment, my dear.'

'I'm glad,' she sighed with relief. 'I was beginning to feel awfully

guilty about it.'

'That was silly of you, wasn't it?' he mocked harshly.

'I know, but I couldn't help being a little afraid of what you might

think,' she confessed, her tension evaporating.

'You were just being over-sensitive, and now I must hurry, my dear.I have a meeting to attend, and I'm late as it is,' he said a little

tersely. 'Pass on my congratulations to Fay.'

'Thank you, I will,' Toni promised. 'And thank you also for making

this evening possible.'

Tarquin muttered something she could not make out, but the linewent dead before she could question him, and a few minutes later

she telephoned Fay to tell her about the arrangements Tarquin had

made.

The Sheridan was one of those places where only the wealthy could

afford to pay the high prices for the luxury of exquisitely prepared

food served by a perfectly trained staff. Chandeliers hung from a


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high ceiling to throw a subdued light across the plushly carpeted

interior, enhancing the beauty of the glittering silverware and finely

cut crystal glasses. The tables were situated in small alcoves which

afforded the customers a certain amount of privacy, and towards the

other end of the restaurant a larger alcove accommodated the

orchestra, leaving a large amount of floor space uncarpeted for thosewho wished to dance.

Toni glanced about h

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Beloved Benefactor by Yvonne Whittal

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