Janet: Welcome, everyone. My name is Janet Attwood. I’m the cover editor for Healthy Wealthy nWise magazine and co-author of the New York Times bestseller The Passion Test: The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Destiny. If you’re joining us for the first time, this is the Healthy Wealthy nWise Passion Series where twice a month we interview someone who has been incredibly successful at living their passions, so you can learn how to discover your passions and live your own personal destiny.
Tonight’s interview will appear as the cover story in March at www.HealthyWealthynWise.com. These calls are to help you have the inspiration to choose for those things that are most important to you in your life. As the artist Thomas Kinkade said, “When we learn to say a deep, passionate yes to the things that really matter, then peace begins to settle onto our lives like golden sunlight sifting to a forest floor.”
Our guest tonight has been like golden sunlight in my life. I’ve known her for over 30 years. She’s one of my very best friends in the whole world, and I’m thrilled to be able to present her to our Healthy Wealthy nWise listeners on our Passion Series. Marci Shimoff is the woman’s face of the biggest self-help book phenomenon in history, Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Her six bestselling titles in the series, including Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul and Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul, have met with stunning success, selling more than 13 million copies worldwide in 33 languages and have been on the New York Times bestseller list for a total of 108 weeks. That’s so outrageous! Marci is one of the bestselling female nonfiction authors of all time.
In addition, she’s a featured teacher in the international film and book phenomenon “The Secret.” Her new book, Happy for No Reason: Seven Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out, just came out. The book just went to the top of the charts. It was number one on Amazon, number one on Barnes and Noble, and number two on the New York Times bestseller list.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
It’s a great book that offers a revolutionary approach to experiencing deep and lasting happiness. As an acclaimed authority on success and happiness, Marci has been on more than 500 national and regional television and radio shows, and has been interviewed for over 100 newspaper articles nationwide. Her writing has appeared in national women’s magazines, including Ladies’ Home Journal and Women’s World.
Marci earned her MBA from UCLA and holds an advanced certificate as a stress management consultant. She is a founding member and is on the board of directors of the Transformational Leadership Council, a group of 100 top leaders serving over 10 million people in the self-development market. Thank you so much for being with us tonight, Marci.
Marci: I am so happy for good reason to be here with you, Janet! This is just thrilling! Out of all of those things, I consider you being one of my dear friends to be at the top of the list.
Janet: I just have to add, for everyone listening, that the thing that I love about you, Marci, is that you really live this. You really embody the knowledge that’s in your book. For as long as I’ve known you, your whole point in being alive is to really be grounded in truth and in what is the purpose of life. I really think you’ve found it. I want to tell everyone that over a year ago Marci told me about her book that she was going to be writing.
Right when she said ‘happy for no reason,’ I said, “Okay, that’s it!” It’s going to be one of those books that’s going to end up on everyone’s bedside table, and it will stay there. I was right, Marci, and I’m really proud of myself; I just want you to know.
Marci: Thank you, Janet. You were always one of my best cheerleaders. I really appreciate it.
Janet: Marci, how did your passions, the things that mean the most to you, lead you to the work that you do today?
Marci: I actually saw my first professional speaker when I was 13 years old. It was a man named Zig Ziglar. It was in the early 1970s; I saw him speak, and I just immediately knew that that’s what I was supposed to do in this life. It was just an epiphany. Of course, it didn’t make my parents all that
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
happy because back in the early 1970s, nobody knew what ‘professional speaker’ meant.
I went home and told them I was going to be a professional speaker. They’d wanted me to be dental hygienist because my father was dentist. My mom said, “Honey, you sure talk enough. You might as well get paid for it.” At that early age, I saw myself standing in front of audiences speaking. I did start off speaking about teaching success, the Law of Attraction, and things like that.
The reality is that what I cared more about than success was happiness. I was not born happy. I tell people that I did not win the happiness jackpot at birth. I came out of the womb with existential angst. I was the five-year-old who was brooding in the corner about the condition of the world while all my friends were watching “Romper Room.” Yet, I was very fortunate, because I had a father who was the happiest person I knew.
He woke up every morning with a smile on his face. His motto was, “Any day that I’m breathing is a good day!” I remember when I was 19, we were driving down the road one day, and I looked at him and said, “Dad, what’s your best advice for life?” He looked at me and he said four words. He said, “Honey, just be happy,” at which point I threw my arms up into the air, and I said, “Dad, that’s so easy for you to say. You just are naturally happy.
“How do I do that?” At that point, he said four more words, “Honey, I don’t know.” It was at that moment that I decided that I was going to spend my life finding out the answer to that question: How do I be happy, and how do other people be happy? For a long time that remained a mystery, but in recent years what’s so thrilling is that we’ve actually cracked the code on happiness.
We really know what it is that it takes to make people happy. This passion of mine that began long, long ago is thrilling, because I now feel that I’m able to answer those questions and share those answers with many people through Happy for No Reason.
Janet: You wrote the first sequel to Chicken Soup for the Soul, Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul, and you’ve written seven others that have sold over 13
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
million books. You’ve been a New York Times bestselling author multiple times, so will you tell us the story of how you got to write those books? Did you always plan to be a writer?
Marci: I definitely did not always plan to be a writer. In fact, I thought that I was writing-challenged, but I always knew that I wanted to inspire millions of people around the world; that was my intention. I love telling this story because, Janet, this story you’re a part of. You and I both have a mentor who we’ve worked with, named Bill Levacy, who’s taught us this great formula for success, which is the Three Steps: Intention, Attention, and No Tension.
What I like to say is the reason I was able to write Chicken Soup for the Soul or Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul was because of those three steps—intention, attention, and no tension. I’ll explain why. The step of intention is being clear on what you want. As I said, when I was about 13 I became very clear that what I wanted to do in this life was to inspire millions of people around the world through knowledge and inspiration about what could make their lives better.
My intention was clear. The second step is attention; whatever you put your attention on grows stronger in your life. I certainly spent a lot of time putting my attention on that goal of inspiring people. In fact, I got an MBA in training and development. I taught corporate training programs, and Jack Canfield became my mentor—Jack Canfield created the Chicken Soup for the Soul series—well before Chicken Soup ever came about, in the late 1980s.
I was doing a lot in the area of teaching self-esteem for women, and things were going along well in my career, but I felt a little bit like I was hitting up against a wall. I was kind of stuck. I wasn’t inspiring the millions of people who I knew I was to inspire. This was in 1994, and the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book had just come out. I was feeling stuck in my career.
A lot of people, I know, can relate to that feeling-stuck feeling. My normal tendency is to just plow on through, push through; but I was burned out, honestly. At that time, I decided to go on a seven-day silent meditation retreat. Now I hadn’t been silent for more than two hours in my life before
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
that, so that was a real, real challenge. You know it well because, Janet, I went on that silent meditation retreat with you.
You were really good at this silence thing. I, on the other hand, had to write little notes and things. It was so hard to be completely silent, but I didn’t say a word during that time. That was the third step, this no-tension step of that formula—intention, attention, no tension—where you just let go. You relax. You take your attention off of what you’re trying to accomplish and just go into a state of inner peace and well-being.
That’s what I did. In the middle of the fourth day of that retreat, in the middle of silence, I was meditating, and a light bulb went off in my head that said, “Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul.” Now at the time, none of the specialty Chicken Soup for the Soul books had been conceived, but as soon as I saw those words ‘Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul,’ I knew that was it.
I knew it was a great idea. I knew it would really hit, and it was fantastic. There was only one problem. I had to stay silent for another three days. I had just had this epiphany of my life, and I couldn’t tell anybody. As soon as the three days were over, I ran directly to the payphone. I don’t even think I went to say anything to you; I went right to the payphone and I called up Jack Canfield.
I said, “Jack, I’ve got it: Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul. He said, “Oh, my gosh! What a great idea; 90% of our readers are women.” He picked up the phone, called the publisher, and said, “We’ve got it: Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul,” and the publisher said, “Oh, my gosh! What a great idea.” Within a few weeks we had the contract in the mail.
A year later Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul came out and was a number one New York Times bestseller. Janet, I know it only happened because of all three of those steps: intention, attention, and no tension. Do you know what I’ve found? It’s that most people in our society are fairly good about the intention step, about getting clear on what they want. Certainly, the Passion Test is a great tool to help them with the intention step. Then many people are good with the attention step. They put their attention on it.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
What we’re not so good at is the no-tension step, that letting go, relaxing, being at ease and trusting that the highest good will be done. That’s what I’m so grateful for, that I went on that silent retreat at your urging, and that’s where Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul was born.
Janet: Marci, I just want to share with everyone that you also did the same thing when you cognized or downloaded—or however you want to put it—Happy for No Reason, isn’t that true?
Marci: Actually, it is. About five years ago I was feeling a little stuck again. I knew that I wanted to write a book on happiness, but I knew it needed a name. From my Chicken Soup for the Soul experience, I knew that a name is really important. I made all kinds of lists, I put my attention on it, and it wasn’t coming to me. I decided that years ago, when I went on that silent meditation retreat, I came up with Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul.
Let me try it again. Five years ago I went, but this time I only went in silence for four days. I figured the first time the answer came to me in four days, so maybe all I need is four days. Sure enough, on the fourth day of silence came the name Happy for No Reason. As soon as it came to me, I knew that that was the title of the book. It was at that point that really the whole book and the whole concept of ‘happy for no reason’ started to really fall into place. I’m a big believer in this silence thing.
Janet: Yes. I’m so thankful to you for sharing this story, because it’s such a lesson for everyone to stop, step out of your busy life, and to just take the time for yourself. Wouldn’t you agree, Marci, this is a really important step of self-love, just letting go?
Marci: It is. I know that there are many people listening for whom taking off for four days of silence might not be practical. If you’ve got children who are needing your attention it may not be practical, but do you know what? Everybody can take a day. Everybody can take one day to just relax, let go, take your mind off of everything, deeply rest, and see what happens.
This step of no tension, by the way, doesn’t need to be taken in even a day; you can take 10 minutes and relax on a regular basis. I’m a firm believer in that. In fact, it’s one of the seven steps to being happy from the inside out; on a regular basis, plug yourself into spirit.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
Janet: You’ve studied and you’ve taught about the success principles, self-esteem and the Law of Attraction for over 30 years. In the last 10 years, why did you decide to study the field of happiness?
Marci: I’ve certainly known a lot of people, and I know you do too, Janet, who are very, very successful, but they’re not really happy. Success does not equal happiness. The bottom line of what we all want, and what people have wanted for time immemorial, is happiness. In fact, ask yourself why it is that you’re doing anything. The three goals that you have right now, why do you have those as three goals?
The only reason you have those as goals is, ultimately, because you think that they will make you happy. Aristotle called happiness the goal of all goals. It’s really what we want more than anything. I decided to cut to the chase and study happiness. I certainly knew and understand very much the principles of success and the principles of the Law of Attraction; but ultimately, they’re not really the bottom line of what we want. The bottom line of what we all want is happiness.
What’s so thrilling is that for the first time in history, science actually knows what makes people happy. There’s this whole field called the field of positive psychology that researches happiness. This one thing that we’ve all wanted since time immemorial, for the first time ever, science knows how to get. To me, that should be headline news, that we’ve cracked the code on happiness. Everybody should know about that.
Janet: Happy for No Reason suggests a whole new paradigm of happiness. What exactly do you mean by ‘happy for no reason’?
Marci: Happy for No Reason is a whole new paradigm of happiness. Before I go into what that paradigm is, I want to also say what the deal is about happiness these days in our society, because it’s hugely hot. Everywhere you turn, people are talking about happiness. It’s been on the cover of Time magazine. Publishers Weekly said in an article recently that every once in a while a new trend comes along in publishing, and the trend of today is happiness.
In fact, they called it the ‘new black’; it’s the in-fashion thing. Part of why I think people are talking about happiness right now so much is that we
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
have an epidemic of unhappiness in our society. One out of five women in America is on anti-depressants. That’s just staggering; one out of five women on anti-depressants. Twenty-five percent, one out of four people, in America say that they are depressed.
We really have a great need. We’re working harder than we ever have, we have more than we’ve ever had, and yet we’re unhappier than ever. I’m really very heartened to know that people are now starting to look for happiness in the right places. This epidemic of unhappiness, I think, stems from us looking for happiness in all the wrong places, and I’ll give you two examples.
We have these two myths. One of them I call the Myth of More; that is that the more I have, the happier I’ll be. Science and research have shown that that’s not true, that once you’re above the level of poverty, no amount of money will make you happier. In fact, of the wealthiest people on the Forbes wealthiest-people-in-America list, 40% of those people are less happy than the average American.
Janet: Marci, say that again. That’s huge.
Marci: That was 40% of all the people on the wealthiest list that Forbes puts together are less happy than the average American. Having more doesn’t make us happier. There was a great interview with John Paul Getty a number of years ago. He was the wealthiest man in the world at the time. They asked him, “How do you know when you have enough?” His answer was, “Not yet.” He didn’t have enough yet.
Here’s the wealthiest man in the world, who didn’t have enough yet. If he didn’t have enough yet, then we’re all in trouble. Do you know what? It’s never going to work, looking for happiness from these outside things. The second myth that we have is what I call the Myth of I’ll-Be-Happy-When. It says, “I’ll be happy when I get a raise,” or “I’ll be happy when I find the right husband or wife.”
Janet: Here’s mine: “I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds.” That’s one I’ve had for years.
Marci: That’s the biggie!
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
Marci: It is, and it’s a myth. First of all, it’s always putting happiness off into the future, and it’s never going to be found there. Secondly, they’ve actually done research that shows that we have an inability to tell what’s going to make us happy in the future. Once we get that thing that we thought was going to make us happy, within just a couple of days or weeks we become acclimated to it, and it’s not what brings us lasting happiness.
The answer to your original question about ‘happy for no reason’ being a new paradigm is this. Here’s the deal. Most people are looking for what we call ‘happy for good reason.’ “Let me get all the good reasons; let me gather up all the circumstances and things that I think will make me happy: the right house, the right partner, the right body, and all of these things.”
The reality is that will bring you only a certain amount of happiness. It’s not lasting. ‘Happy for good reason’ only takes us so far. What we’re all really looking for is something deeper, and that’s lasting happiness. That’s what I call ‘happy for no reason.’ Let me define that. ‘Happy for no reason’ is an inner state of peace and well-being that doesn’t depend on our circumstances. It’s just an inner backdrop that you carry with you wherever you go, of peace and well-being.
People ask, “Does this mean that you’re walking around with a silly grin on your face 24/7?” No, it doesn’t mean that. It doesn’t mean that you’re in denial. People who are happy for no reason still can get angry. They still may experience grief or sadness, but in the midst of all that they carry with them a backdrop of inner peace and well-being that allows them to get over those things more quickly and easily.
Then they just carry that joy with them wherever they go. I like to say that when you’re happy for no reason, rather than trying to extract your happiness from life, you bring your happiness to all of your experiences.
Janet: I love what you said: the inner state of peace and well-being that doesn’t depend on our circumstances. That’s definitely it, isn’t it?
Marci: That’s it. That’s really what we all want most deeply in our heart. It’s what we’re put here on the planet for, to experience that state. It’s possible, and that’s what’s really exciting.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
Janet: What’s the most important thing you discovered? You did all this research on happiness. What was the most important thing of all that you came up with in your search?
Marci: The thing that really just turned everything around for me was the discovery of what’s called our ‘happiness set-point.’ We all have a happiness set- point, and no matter what happens to us, we tend to hover around the same happiness level. For example, they found that for people who won the lottery—and a lot people think that’s the golden ticket to happiness—within a year of winning the lottery, they’ve returned to their original happiness set-point level.
Shockingly, the same was also true of people who became paraplegic. Even when bad things happen, within a year they had returned to their original happiness set-point. The really important thing is our happiness set-point. That set-point is 50% genetic, so you’re born with that. It’s only 10% based on your circumstances, and the other 40%, which is the part we can really do something about, is based on our habits of thought and behavior.
Just like you can raise the thermostat at home to get warm on a cold day, you can actually raise your happiness set-point to become happier, and you don’t have to become thinner, richer, or smarter to do it. That is the thing that everybody should know, because it’s all about your happiness set-point, and we know how you can raise that.
Janet: I love that. Forty percent is a big place to play. Do you know what I mean?
Marci: It is, and do you know what’s really also quite amazing? It’s not just the 40% that I think gets changed by our habits of thoughts and behavior. There’s research done by people like Bruce Lipton, who wrote a book called The Biology of Beliefs, which shows that even when you change your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behaviors, that you can actually change your DNA—the 50% that’s genetic—as well. There’s some research done to indicate that, too. There’s just a whole lot that we can change through our habits.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
Janet: I know the big question that everybody is probably chomping at the bit for me to ask—I am, too—is what can a person do to raise his happiness set- point?
Marci: I interviewed over 100 unconditionally happy people—I call them my Happy 100—and, Janet, you’re one of them. What I found is that the only difference between people who have lasting happiness and everybody else is that they have different habits. It’s as simple as that. I uncovered 21 core happiness habits that anyone can practice to raise their happiness level.
An interesting thing is the line in the Declaration of Independence that I’m often quoted when I tell people that I’m writing a book on happiness. It is Thomas Jefferson’s line that we have the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” We’ve really misinterpreted that phrase. Back in Thomas Jefferson’s day, the word ‘pursuit’ didn’t mean to chase after.
We all think that we’re supposed to chase after happiness or pursue it. Back in his day, the word ‘pursuit’ meant to practice. We were supposed to practice the habits of happy people, of happiness, not chase after happiness. Really, the thing that we can do to raise our happiness set-point is to practice these habits of happy people. It’s really quite simple to do.
Janet: What can we do? Can you give us a couple of them? You talk in the book, I know, about your ‘inner home for happiness,’ building your inner home for happiness. Can you tell us about that? I’m sure this must be the foundation, right?
Marci: It is. What I decided is this. I have these 21 habits, and they actually fell into seven different areas of life. That’s why I call it them the ‘Seven Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out.’ There are seven steps, and in each step there are three different habits. By the way, I know some people are saying, “Oh, my gosh! I can’t learn 21 new habits.” I have found that even practicing one or two of these has had a tremendous impact on raising people’s happiness set-points.
You don’t have to start off with all 21; just one or two. What I did was I created what I call the ‘inner home for happiness,’ building your inner
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
home for happiness, because I found that people can’t remember seven steps very easily; I know I can’t. If I created a model or an analogy, then it would be easier to remember. I created an analogy of building a home.
There are seven main components of your home: there’s a foundation, there are four pillars or four corners, there’s a roof, there’s a garden. Those are the seven steps: the foundation, the four pillars, the roof and the garden. Let me just briefly give you an overview of what those seven steps are. The foundation is step number one, and that is to take full responsibility for your happiness. Take ownership of your happiness. Many people go through life as a victim.
They blame their circumstances; they blame their past for their unhappiness. As long as you’re in victim mode, you’ll never find happiness. The first step is to take full responsibility and ownership of your happiness. I go into very specific steps and ways to do that. The next four steps, the four pillars, are the pillar of the mind, the heart, the body and the soul. The pillar of the mind is not to believe everything you think.
I’ll just go through these really quickly, and then, Janet, we can talk about more of them later. The pillar of the mind is not to believe everything you think. The pillar of the heart is to let love lead in your life. The pillar of the body is to make the cells of your body happy. I talk about ways that you can make your cells happy, foods you can eat that are happiness foods, and ways you can breathe, exercise, and sleep to make you happier, to help increase your happiness.
Then there’s the pillar of the soul, and that’s to plug yourself into spirit. People who are happy for no reason have ways to regularly plug themselves into an energy that’s greater than themselves and recharge. Then there’s the roof, and the roof of your house is your purpose, your passion, to live an inspired life. That, Janet, is where I have your story on the Passion Test and living an inspired life.
Janet: I know, Marci. Thank you, by the way. I’m so honored that I’m there.
Marci: I love your story! It’s a great story that everybody needs to read. It’s really, really a great story.
Janet: It’s an honor.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
Marci: The last step is the garden, and it’s the step of surrounding yourself with support. Who do you have in your garden? Is your garden surrounded with a bunch of weeds, or toxic people, or is your garden full or roses and gardenias, people who will support your own happiness? That's a general overview of the seven steps. Within each of the seven steps, as I had mentioned, I’ve got three habits, so there are 21 habits in the book. Each habit has a story from one of my Happy 100.
It has the research behind the step, because I wanted to make sure that we had the research for everything. Then, also, one of the most important pieces it has is a tool or a technique that you can use to put that step into practice in your life. What I found is that I loved the inspiration of the stories, and I love the explanation of the step; but until people can put it into practice it doesn’t come alive in their life. That's why I made sure that we’ve got these fabulous tools and techniques that people can use immediately.
Janet: What I really love about this, Marci, and I know you’ll agree, is that this was your college that you went through yourself. All of these things that you have put into this book were tools and techniques that you had practiced yourself and found that they worked for you and in everyone else you knew. Is that correct?
Marci: Absolutely. There’s a great saying that we teach what we most want to learn. I wrote the book that I would want to read. What I did, as you know Janet, and you have too, is spent the last 30 years really finding out what is out there that works. What’s the best of the best? That’s what I included in Happy for No Reason. What is it that works that will absolutely help each person live the life they are here to live, live the highest life that they are meant to live? I’ve tested all of these tools, and I’m really very, very certain. I’ve seen them work over and over again in people’s lives.
Janet: I love what you just said, that you wrote the book that you wanted to read. I’ll tell you that it’s definitely the book that I want to read. Obviously, since it’s a New York Times bestseller and number one on Barnes and Noble and Amazon, there are a lot of people who will agree with both you and me. For those of you who are ready to go out and buy the book no matter where it is, here’s an easy link to it: www.HealthyWealthynWise.com/HappyForNoReason.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
I know this is only the middle of our interview, and yet I can feel through the airwaves that people want to know, “Where do I get this book? Where do I get this great book?”
Marci: I want to say something about this. Some people say, “Can’t I just decide to be happy?” What I say is that you can no more decide to be happy and wake up tomorrow morning happy, than you can decide to be a master piano player and wake up tomorrow morning mastering the piano. The decision to be happy is the place to start, but you actually have to practice the same way as if you want to become a master piano player.
You actually have to practice the things that will make you become a master piano player; you have to practice the habits of happy people in order to really raise your happiness set-point. The other thing I want to say is this. While it works for people who are unhappy, for sure, I’ve had so many people tell me that they’ve been reading the book; they started off happy, but they wanted to just raise their happiness level even more. It really is for everybody in the whole happiness gamut. No matter where you start, it will raise your happiness set-point.
Janet: Yes, absolutely. There’s something in it for everyone. When you think about it, the only reason we’re on this planet is to continue to grow. Once we’ve gotten it all down, I don’t think we’ll be here, so I absolutely agree with you on that. Marci, what are some of the habits of happy people? Would you share?
Marci: Sure. Let me share just a couple that I really love out of the 21. The first one of the ones that I love to share is about spreading loving-kindness. People who are happy for no reason let love lead in their lives. They have an open heart. They have a heart that’s flowing out toward others. Basically, I say that there are two main energies in the universe, and I know you talk about this too, Janet.
The two main energies in the universe are the energy of expansion and the energy of contraction. Everybody, right now, just do a little experiment with me. Everybody, right now, if you’re not driving—if you’re driving, you don’t want to do this—curl into a little ball right now. On the count of three, I want you to say, “I feel happy.” Ready? One, two, three, “I feel happy.” Did you feel very happy? No, probably not.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
When you’re curled into a little ball and you’re all contracted, the energy isn’t flowing and you can’t feel happy. On the other hand, when you put your arms way out to the side, you stretch yourself, you expand, and you take in a deep breath, it’s hard to feel bad. Do this with me, everybody who’s listening right now. Expand your arms out to the side, and on the count of three I want you to say, “I feel depressed.” Ready? One, two, three, “I feel depressed.”
Janet: With a smile on my face.
Marci: Exactly. You’ve got a smile on your face. You can’t feel depressed when you’re like that. The reality is, when you’re expanded it makes you feel happy. Just for fun, try another one with me. On the count of three, with your arms extended, say, “I feel happy.” Ready? One, two, three, “I feel happy!” All right. You can’t do that without a smile on your face. It’s just going to put a smile on your face.
One of the habits is that happy people move toward whatever makes them feel expanded. We have this inner GPS, inner guidance system, that allows us to know when we’re feeling expanded and when we’re feeling contracted. One of the things is that they move toward feeling expanded. Another thing, as I started to say, is that they spread that expansion or loving-kindness with them wherever they go.
I’ll tell you a quick story from Happy for No Reason about this particular habit. It’s by a woman named CJ, and I had interviewed CJ. She’d been very, very depressed. She’d had lupus, which is an autoimmune disease that’s very debilitating. For 15 years she’d had lupus. She’d been in a wheelchair. She was very overweight, and basically, miserable. She heard about this simple practice of wishing others well.
She decided, “I’ve got nothing to lose. I might as well try this.” One day she started by sending thoughts and wishes silently in her heart. This wasn’t even out loud; it was silently in her heart. Throughout the day, she would just send thoughts and wishes of well-being and happiness to everybody who she would see, think about or come across, her friends, her family members.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
Even as she’d pass by strangers driving down the highway, she would silently send them a wish, a thought, of love and happiness and well-being, wishing them well. A year after doing this regularly as a habit, I can’t tell you what happened to the people who she sent those wishes to, but here’s what happened to her. Her happiness level absolutely soared. She’s out of the wheelchair; she’s exercising three days a week. She is happier than she’s ever been.
She’s symptom-free, and the doctors say it’s a medical miracle. The only thing that she did differently was to wish others well. It’s such a simple thing that anybody can practice. I say to just try it for 30 days, and see how your life shifts. I’ll just share with you the very simple little wish that she would send to others. You can use your own, but this was the one that she liked.
It went like this, “May you be healthy, may you be happy, may you be safe, may you live with ease.” That’s a simple, simple thing, and you can adapt it to your own needs, whatever you’d like to do, whatever resonates with you. Send wishes of goodness and well-being to others, and see if your life doesn’t improve.
Janet: I just love that so much. Thank you. There was one other thing that I just wanted you to comment on for a moment, which I felt just needed a little more explanation, because it was so chock-full of just everything that I wanted to know more about. You said your Happy 100 moved to what makes them feel expanded, right? Can you talk more about that? What do you mean by that? You said they have their own inner GPS system.
Marci: Right. Just as we all know, our bodies tell us when we’re feeling more expanded or when we’re feeling more contracted. Some people say, and I agree with this very much, that the energy of love and all of its derivatives—gratitude, forgiveness, loving-kindness—are all energies of expansion. Energies of fear and its derivatives—anger, sadness, jealousy—are energies of contraction.
Whenever we are moving toward the energies that make us feel more expanded, we’re moving in the direction of happiness. One of the other habits that I talk about in the book is the habit of the mind not to believe everything we think. For example, research tells us that we have 60,000
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
thoughts a day and that, for the average person, 80% of those are negative.
Negative thoughts don’t move you in the direction of feeling expanded. These are things like ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘I can’t do this,’ and ‘I’ll never be good at that.’ Those kinds of negative thoughts never make us feel more expanded; they always contract us. What I found is that happy people have just learned to question those negative, happiness- robbing thoughts.
There are a number of tools that people can use to learn to question their thoughts. One of them that I mention in the book is called the ‘The Work’ by Byron Katie. I know it’s a process that you love using also, Janet. We interviewed Byron Katie for Happy for No Reason. She’s certainly a Happy for No Reason role model. Another tool that I suggest is called The Sedona Method, and I give very specific practice in there on how to use The Sedona Method.
I talk about something called the Emotional Freedom Technique and about inclining your mind toward joy, so there are a number of tools in there that people can use to move in that direction of expansion.
Janet: This book is so amazing with ‘The Work’ of Byron Katie. As you know, Marci, I’m so deeply into Katie’s work; I’m actually a facilitator of her work. Just that one process alone, that one tool that you’ve given everyone in this book—there are so many of them that you give—allowed me to become best friends with my ex-husband and business partner, Chris, as you’re aware.
They just had a baby last week, and his wife Doris asked me to be their godmother. That’s how powerful these processes are—I want everyone to know that—that are in Marci’s book. It’s just so loaded with the best of the best. Thank you, Marci, for just really tapping into so much wonderful knowledge and tools for everyone to be able to open up that wonderful portal to their own happiness.
Talking about happiness, you cite your dad as one of the happiest people you’ve ever known. I know you tell everyone that your parents had a really huge impact on. For all the parents listening, could you tell us about how
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
your parents inspired you growing up, and what other parents can do to help their children enjoy more happiness?
Marci: Absolutely. That’s a question that I get asked quite a lot, as a matter of fact. “What can I do to help my children be happier?” The first thing I would say, without a doubt, is you raise your own happiness set-point. That is the best thing that you can do for your children. I didn’t have the genetic happiness part of my dad; I somehow wasn’t born happy like my dad, but I actually learned a lot from observing his life. I’ll give you an example.
As you know, one of the steps to being happy for no reason is to live an inspired life, to always have something that brings purpose, meaning and passion to your life. My dad was a great role model for that. He loved what he did; he was a dentist and loved dentistry. When he retired at age 72, he heard about what happens when people retire, which is very often—the statistics are very high—when people retire, they often die. Why is that?
Because they’ve lost passion or meaning in their life. My dad said, “That’s not going to happen to me.” He analyzed what he loved about dentistry. Along with working with people, what he really loved was being an artist and working with his hands in small, intricate ways. He felt that dentistry was artistic. He decided to do something else that incorporated those same characteristics.
He took up, at age 72, needlepoint. He became a master needle-pointer. In fact, he won needlepoint awards throughout all of California. I remember one time when he was 85, I went home to visit my parents and he was working on his newest needlepoint. It was the biggest one he had attempted yet. It was just enormous. It was about three feet wide and about four feet high. It was an amazing needlepoint of the Tree of Life.
I said to him, “My goodness, Dad! This is huge. How long is this going to take you to finish?” He looked at me and he said, “Honey, I figured at the rate that I’m currently going, it’ll take me about four years to finish.” Here is an 85-year-old man beginning a four-year project. Did he finish it? Absolutely, he did. He finished that needlepoint, and it hangs very proudly in my mother’s living room to this day.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
As you know, my dad ended up having such a full life. Janet, you were the very last new person to have met my father. He passed away at age 91 on Valentine’s Day, which was so fitting because he was so much the epitome of love. A couple of weeks before he passed away, Janet met him. The two of them just connected. He recognized that you were living a life of passion, purpose, meaning and joy. It was just a great meeting of the two of you.
Janet: It was. It was our own personal love-in. He’s so beautiful. Marci, you’re one of the featured teachers in the hit film “The Secret,” which is all about the Law of Attraction. Can you talk just for a moment what the connection is between the Law of Attraction and happiness?
Marci: Absolutely. I’m asked that question so often, and I love to answer that question. By the way, I want to thank you, Janet, because it was greatly because of you that I was introduced to Rhonda Byrne, “The Secret,” and all of that. You’ve had a great role in all of this. What I say in “The Secret,” in the film, is that a lot of people have this success thing backwards.
We think that success is going to bring us happiness, but in fact, the opposite is actually true. Success does not guarantee happiness, but happiness does bring success. In fact, there is tremendous research on the fringe benefits of happiness. Let me just give you a couple of the statistics about the research on happiness. People who are happy are healthier. In fact, they’re one-third less likely to get sick. They live longer.
On average they live seven years longer. They have better relationships. They are more successful, and they make more money. They make almost $1 million more over the course of their lifetime. What the Law of Attraction says is that everything in the universe is made up of energy, and that we draw to us based on our energetic vibration. What we’re talking about in becoming happy for no reason is about raising your energetic vibration.
When you raise your energetic vibration, that’s when you are able to more effectively draw to yourself what it is you want. I’m just going to share with you a quote from Rhonda Byrne that she talks about in “The Secret,” and about the Law of Attraction. She said, “I want to let you in on a secret to
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
‘The Secret.’ The shortcut to anything you want in your life is to be and feel happy now.
“It’s the fastest way to bring money and anything else you want into your life. Focus on radiating out into the universe those feelings of joy and happiness. Everything you want is an inside job. The outside world is just the world of effects; it’s just the result of our thoughts. Set your thoughts and your frequency on happiness.” That’s really the bottom line—and this is me speaking now—to the Law of Attraction, raising your happiness level.
That’s why Happy for No Reason , I think, has come along at just a perfect time, because everyone is so interested in the Law of Attraction. Really what we’re most interested in is raising our vibratory level and living a life that is happy for no reason.
Janet: There’s a quote from a great spiritual teacher that says that happiness radiates like the fragrance of a flower drawing all good things to you. This is evidence; it suggests it’s true. Would you agree with me on that?
Marci: Absolutely. There’s an old saying from Vedic Scripture that says that the means gather around sattva. Sattva means purity or level of vibration, level of consciousness, happy for no reason. When we are radiating from that energetic level or frequency that’s more in alignment with love, with joy, with happiness, then we are able to draw to us all of the means that we need.
Some people would say we’re more naturally in tune with the laws of the universe, the laws of nature. One of the beliefs or guiding principles of people who are happy for no reason is that they believe that this is a friendly universe, that the universe is out to support them. My mentor, Jack Canfield, has a phrase I love. It’s called being a reverse paranoid. People who are paranoid always think that the world is out to get them.
People who are happy for no reason always think that the world is out to support them. Einstein said that the most important question you can ask yourself is, is this a friendly universe? I have to tell you, all of the people who I interviewed who were happy for no reason answered with a resounding yes. Now that doesn’t mean that bad things don’t happen.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
What it means is when things happen that we may not have wanted consciously, we look for the lesson and the gift in those things.
We say, “There must be something in this for me. There must be some reason for this.” I always like to say—and I know, Janet, you like this principle too—that if something happens that isn’t exactly the way you want it, ask yourself this question: If this is happening for a higher purpose, what would that purpose be? People who are happy for no reason always look at life as, “If something’s happening, there must be something good in it for me. If this is happening for a higher purpose, what would that purpose be?”
Janet: It’s so beautiful, also, what you said about the world, that happy people naturally think, “The world is out to support me.” That’s so beautiful. I know that all of the listeners of this wonderful interview tonight really care about contributing to a better world. I’m sure almost everyone does. How does happiness affect the world?
Marci: We definitely affect the world around us. In fact, there’s something called ‘emotional contagion,’ and what it says is that we catch the emotions of the people around us just like we catch their colds. Everybody’s had the experience of being in a good mood, but then you get around somebody who’s a total bummer to be around. Right now, everybody’s got a picture in their mind of exactly who I’m talking about.
It’s Aunt Betty, or your coworker, John. They’re just a drag, and they drag you down. It’s because of this emotional contagion. We definitely spread our energy into our environment. By the way, this is why one of the habits is to surround yourself, as much as possible, with people who are happy, and to create boundaries around toxic people, or what I call energy vampires, the people who just suck the energy from you.
I talk about actual ways that you can protect yourself in not taking on the energy of negative people, and ways that you can surround yourself with support. It’s very, very important. In fact, you know also, Janet, about the research that’s been done that shows that even when a small percentage of a population changes their vibration level, that it affects the whole area.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
There have been studies done that show that when 1% of a population meditates, that the whole community and surroundings are affected by that. They’ve gone into areas where war was raging, and just when people are meditating together, a fraction of 1% of people are meditating together, that will change the energetics of the war. The crime rate reduces, the accident rate reduces, the sickness rate reduces.
We are greatly affecting our world, and it’s the best thing that we can do for the whole world. People are always saying to me, “This focusing on becoming happy for no reason, isn’t it selfish?” What I say is it’s the most selfless thing you could possibly do, because by your raising your energetic frequency and by your becoming happy for no reason, you are helping others around you, and the world, become a better world.
Janet: I love when you said for everybody to think of someone who isn’t happy. I couldn’t think of anybody.
Marci: Then you’re on the right track, Janet. That’s great.
Janet: That is so cool! I really was. All of a sudden, I thought, “Oh, my gosh! I can’t find anybody.” Really, Marci, I don’t hang out with people who aren’t happy anymore. It didn’t even occur to me until you just said that. What a great thing that is, and I’m so thankful for that.
Marci: Yes. Do you know what I tell people to do? Make a little list of who in your life expands you and who in your life contracts you, and just take a look at that list. How much time are you spending with the people who are contracting you, and how much time are you spending with the people who are expanding you? Certainly, obviously, if family members are in your contraction side of the list, you can’t not be with them. They’re part of your family; but what are the things that you can do to help yourself become more immune and to help them raise their own happiness set-point?
Janet: I’ll tell you, there’s so much to get to do after this. For everyone, to make a list of who expands you, what a wonderful thing to get to do! That just makes me happy thinking about it.
Marci: Yes, and you’ve got to also make the list of who contracts you so that you have an awareness. All change begins with awareness.
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
Janet: I told you that I couldn’t remember anybody who is like that.
Marci: Yes, your side of that list will be blank.
Janet: I’m sure I could if I tried hard enough. As we come to a close, what are the three things that you would suggest our listeners do in the coming week to begin bringing their own dreams and passions into reality?
Marci: I love that question. I love getting really practical. The first thing I’m going to say is to set a ‘happy for no reason’ intention for yourself. A lot of people are big on setting goals and setting intentions, yet they haven’t set an intention about happiness, which again, as I said, is the goal of all goals. What I suggest that you do is you set some kind of a simple intention.
It could be something like—and I always like writing intentions in present tense, positive—“I’m grateful that I’m experiencing a deep sense of inner peace and happiness,” or something like that. Write it on a card. If you have a vision board, put it on your vision board, or put it on your mirror. That’s something that sets you in the right direction of raising your happiness set-point.
In fact, the research has found that even just getting a start, setting yourself in the right direction and putting your attention on happiness, will in itself raise your happiness level. A second thing is this. By the way, this is not one of my top three, but I’m also going to suggest that people take the ‘Happy for No Reason Assessment.’ I have a questionnaire that’s 20 questions and allows you to see where you stand on the Happy for No Reason continuum.
You can go onto the website, www.HappyForNoReason.com, to find the Happy for No Reason Questionnaire. It’s on there. See where you stand in your Happy for No Reason level. That’s a very important step to just get a starting point. Another thing I would do is this. We talked about wishing others well. I told the story about CJ Scarlet, who spent some time every day wishing others well.
For the next 21 days, which is what they say it takes to create a new habit, spend a little time each time silently in your heart sending wishes of well-being and happiness to others. Then the third thing is look for the lesson
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
and the gift in things in life. Even as challenges come up in your life, look for the lesson and the gift in them. Ask yourself the question, “If this were happening for a higher purpose, what would that higher purpose be?”
I know you asked for three; I’ve got to give a fourth. The fourth is gratitude. There is a lot of scientific evidence showing that gratitude will raise your happiness set-point. At the end of every day, just make a list of five things that you’re grateful for in that day. End your day with gratitude. Begin your day with gratitude. Start your day waking up in the morning with thankfulness in your heart for the day and what’s ahead.
Janet: These are so wonderful. I was just thinking about all of these different, wonderful exercises to do. It made me happy just thinking about the fact that I get to do it, and I haven’t even done it yet!
Marci: That’s great.
Janet: Marci, you know that Healthy Wealthy nWise believes strongly in the power of intention to manifest outcomes, so can you share what your current, most important project is, and what intentions for it would you like us and our listeners to hold for you?
Marci: My biggest current intention and project that I’m working on is spreading the message of Happy for No Reason around the world. Happy for No Reason is being translated into 15 different languages. I really feel that my deepest intention is to change this paradigm of happiness that we have on the planet. Instead of the happiness that comes from these outer things—and I’m all for having great outer things; there’s nothing wrong with that—what I really stand for and know is that happiness comes from the inside out.
My greatest intention is that Happy for No Reason become the new paradigm for happiness, that it become an everyday phrase that everybody talks about, and that we all really are aligned together to create ‘happy for no reason’ in our own lives and wherever we go.
Janet: A way for all of us to support Marci on that, and this is just off the cuff, is this. Let’s just close our eyes, just for one moment, and see Marci sitting on the couch with Oprah. Just visualize Marci sitting on the couch with Oprah, because Oprah has such a huge outreach. That would be a way to
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
really begin that intention of Marci’s, to really push it right out there into the world really fast with Happy for No Reason. Let’s just take a minute. We see Marci; there she is laughing with Oprah and Oprah loving everything Marci’s saying.
Marci: Thank you for that. Even beyond that would be to have that really deeply touch millions and millions of people’s lives and transform lives. Janet, I know that that’s what you and I are here on this call to do with people, to deeply transform people’s lives.
Janet: It’s really true. Marci, what single idea would you like to leave our listeners with?
Marci: That this Happy for No Reason that I’m talking about is our birthright. We are not here on this planet to just get by or survive. We are here to thrive. What I’d like to leave everybody with is knowing that happiness is truly your essence. Know that you can be happy. Go for that happiness and all else will follow. I want to leave everyone with a Chinese proverb that I love to end all conversations with, because it sums up why I’m doing this and why I believe we’re all here.
It says, “When there is light in the soul,” and by light, I mean ‘happy for no reason,’ “there will be beauty in the person. When there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house. When there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation, and when there is order in the nation, there will be peace in this world.” I know that our deepest desire in all of our hearts is for peace in this world, and light, love, truth, joy in all of our own lives and souls and hearts. That’s my greatest wish for everyone listening.
Janet: Marci, thank you so much for such an incredibly inspiring interview. Truly, thank you so much for being you. You truly walk the talk, and that’s so important in what we do these days. All of us are just so attuned now, and it’s so wonderful to really listen to someone who’s really living what they’re sharing with the world. Thank you for that.
Marci: Thank you, Janet.
Janet: It seems like it should be so obvious that being happy is the basis for all good in our life, and yet most people in the world today are so busy
Best Selling Author & Motivational Expert Marci Shimoff
pursuing things they think will make them happy that they end up never being happy. What a great relief to know it’s possible to be happy without having any outside reason at all. We’re so grateful for having you with us tonight. I can’t wait to watch you again on Oprah. This time it’s just going to be like the ball that’s the royal grand slam out of the park.
Marci: Ultimately, Janet, it’s that you and I get to do our own show together. Wouldn’t that be fun?
Janet: Everybody, close your eyes for an hour and visualize Marci and I! For our listeners, be sure to get your copy of Happy for No Reason by going to www.HealthyWealthynWise.com/HappyForNoReason. When you get your book you’ll be able to take the 22-question Happiness Quiz, and then walk through the seven steps for creating your personal ‘home for happiness.’ I love that, Marci, your ‘home for happiness.’
Again, the place to go to get your personal copy of Happy for No Reason is www.HealthyWealthynWise.com/HappyForNoReason. Then be sure to mark your calendar and join us for our next Passion interview on Tuesday, January 22 nd , when we will have a special surprise guest for you. Thank you to everyone on the line for your commitment to living your passions and giving your unique gifts. Now we’ll open up the lines and say goodnight. Goodnight, everyone. Thanks, Marci.
