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Project Organised Learning (POL) – 4: Meetings &

Difficulties and conflicts in a group

Master of Science – 8 Semester (BIT-students)

Lecturer: Lars Peter Jensen

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Meetings & Difficulties and conflicts in a group

Agenda:

1. Meetings2. Preventing conflicts3. Reflexive writing and marking rounds4. The ’Hot chair’5. ’I’ – messages6. Behavioural self-assessment test7. How to spot a conflict 8. Personal conflict behaviour9. Conflict solving 10. Consequences of conflicts

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Types of meetings

• Information• Instruction• Consultation/

negotiation• Decision-making• Problem-solving• Exchange of ideas

Talk

Listen

Talk

Listen

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Moderation of meetings

Prepare

Ask

Listen

Summarize

Conclude

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Suggested agenda for formal group-meeting (overview)

• Acceptance of agenda (incl. acceptance of aim, objectives, success-criteria, timeframe, roles)

• Acceptance of minutes from last meeting (incl. a summary of results/effects of decisions/actions made)

• Status (diagram of activities, adjusted plan, focus an special tasks, goals, etc.)

• Collaboration (internal and external)• Other matters• Next meeting (incl. provisional aim and objectives

and roles)• Evaluation of meeting (achievements, timeframe,

process)• Closure

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Suggested agenda for formal group-meeting (ad-hoc/task)

• Acceptance of agenda (incl. acceptance of aim, objectives, success-criteria, timeframe, roles)

• Situational description• Analysis• Concluding accepted agreement an aims,

objectives, decisions, responsibilities, success-criteria, timeframe

• Closure

It is essential that everyone is well prepared for the meeting.

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Suggested agenda for formal group-meeting (discussion)

• Acceptance of agenda (incl. acceptance of aim, objectives, success-criteria, timeframe, roles)

• Introduction (mini-lecture) on topic/subject• Discussion• Conclusion(s)• Accepted agreement on aims, objectives,

decisions, responsibilities, success-criteria, timeframe

• Closure

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Suggested agenda for formal meeting with supervisor

• Acceptance of agenda (incl. acceptance of aim, objectives, success-criteria, timeframe, roles )

• Acceptance of minutes from last meeting (incl. a summary of results/effects of decisions/actions made )

• Status ( diagram of activities, adjusted plan, focus on up-coming tasks, goals, etc.)

• Specific focus for this meeting• Collaboration (internal and external)• Other matters• Next meeting (incl. provisional aim and objectives and

roles)• Evaluation of meeting (achievements, timeframe,

process)

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Conflicts – WHAT? WHY? HOW?

• WHAT? Behaviour exhibited by one (or more) person(s) which bothers another (or other) person(s) and/or prevents them from doing something they would like to do.

• WHY? Disagreement, “bad chemistry”, fight about power, lack of respect, cultural insensitivity e.g..

• HOW? It is easy to start a conflict – but it might be hard to solve it satisfactorily!.

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Preventing Conflicts

”Prevention is better than cure”

- also when it concerns conflicts in a group!!

”Remember that the sooner a conflict is identified and handled, the less dramatic it is.

Prevention of conflicts builds on mutual understanding and respect for diversity.

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Preventing Conflicts

Conflicts are best prevented by:

• Knowing and understanding expectations, opinions and feelings - your own as well as those of others (dialogue, I-messages)

• Agreeing on rules, roles and relations in the group, (co-operation agreement)

• Evaluating your group co-operation regularly (’hot chair’, team health profile).

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Reflexive writing and ‘marking rounds’

Can be used before, during and after a decision-making process:

• Five minutes ’time-out’, where • All speaking in the group is forbidden and• Each student spontaneously writes down his or

her thoughts about the form of the discussion and the issues discussed at the moment

• After 5 minutes take a ‘marking round’ where everyone explains their thoughts

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Reflexive writing and ‘marking rounds’

..are good tools in team work because they:

• Give those who have ’dropped out’ of the discussion a possibility to come back in.

• Give everybody a possibility to put forward their views and opinions.

• Make the communication process open and visible because of the writing.

GOOD ADVICE: Let the less speaking student start!!

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Evaluating personal relations: The ’Hot chair’

Every 2-3 weeks group members evaluate each other one at a time according to the following rules:

• The person in the ‘hot chair’ is not allowed to comment, she/he is supposed to listen to the constructive and loyal criticism of other group members

• All the others have to give positive and negative feedback e.g. Two things they like about the person’s behaviour within the group, and two things they don't like

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Evaluating personal relations: The ’Hot chair’

Feedback must: • Describe behaviour – not interpret motives• Express your own feelings directly – not indirectly• Be specific – not general• Only address issues which can be changed• Make room for change• Be non-judgmental • Only be given when asked for/agreed upon – not

uninvited• Be motivated by a wish to help others – not to

hurt

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A good advice to remember !!

• Be towards others as you wish them to be towards you!!

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’I’-messages

The ’I’-message is a clear, unambiguous and honest message about your thoughts and feelings

You can share your thought and feelings with others but they cannot deny them or say that they are ’wrong’

Using ’I’-messages is the same as assertive communication!!

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How to use ’I’-messages to tell others about something you

don’t likePhase Example

Start (state the factual behaviour)

”You didn’t tell me that the meeting was cancelled.

Consequence (describe the consequence of this behaviour for you)

So I have wasted my time coming here.

Feeling (describe how you feel about this)

This makes me angry and I feel that you disrespect me and my job.

Alternative (point out another way to behave)

If you had notified my secretary she could have notified me.”

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Break for 15 minutes

Deadline is deadline !

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Behavioural self-assessment test

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Behavioural self-assessment test - 1

• Mark the 36 statements in the questionnaire with 0, 1, 2, 3 or 4 points, according to how often you do this in your job

X

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Behavioural self-assessment test - 2

• After having filled in the questionnaire, transfer the points from each statement to the white field in the scoring sheet.

• Only enter your points in the white fields.• Add the points in each column to get your

behavioural profile.

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SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIOUR

• Persons behaving submissive are withdrawn in communication

• They renounce their rights, standpoints and opinions and submit to others’ opinions

• They often feel incapable and afraid• They apologise for themselves and

have a self-effacing behaviour

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SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIOUR

VERBAL EXPRESSIONS:

• one could wish that …• it looks as if• this is probably not what you mean

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AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR

• Aggressive people stick to their own opinions

• They don’t discuss or argue but simply repeat their standpoint – sometimes louder and louder

• Aggressive people lack social competences and seem to seek the conflicts

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AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR

VERBAL EXPRESSIONS :

• if I were you I would be careful• Yeah, you’re really good at that, aren’t

you!• …. and I mean now ! • I most certainly did not• yes, you can say that again

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ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR

• Direct, honest and action-oriented• Sticks to her/his standpoints – WITHOUT

OFFENDING OTHERS• Takes responsibility for own feelings

and opinions in the situation• Has inner strength and power

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ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR

VERBAL EXPRESSIONS :

• I feel, I think, I mean• we will, we can• What is your opinion?

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The concept of assertion

• Assertive communication is to say what you mean and to mean what you say – without demeaning or hurting others

• Assertive behaviour is to be able to and dare express feelings, opinions and needs clearly, unambiguously and honestly – with respect for others

• Assertive behaviour is to be who you are and let others be who they are

• Assertive behaviour increases your self-confidence and gives you personal impact that improves the positive feelings in the situation

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How to spot a conflict

• Very loud discussion in stead of dialogue – nobody is trying to understand each other

• Very long arguing but no decisions• Goes ‘for the man’ not ’for the ball’ • Postulate in stead of reasoning• Formation of cliques• Talk about people behind their backs

REMEMBER: Deal with conflicts, the sooner the better !!!

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Personal conflict behaviour

Goal

Relations

Important

Not important Important

Smooth things out Confronting

ForcingDrawing

Compromising

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Personal conflict behaviourProfile Characteristic individual behaviourAvoidance ’drawing’

Avoid, deny, ignore, turn away.

Adjusting ’smooth things out’

Forthcoming, abandon personal goals, relations to others is more important.

Win/loose‘forcing’

Dominating, aggressive, want to win, demonstrates power.

Compromising’do compromises’

All shall gain something – there is different ways to do things, compromises.

Problem solving’confronting’

Acceptance of conflicts. Everybody's needs are legitimate and important. Respect for personal relations. Make allowances

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One way to solve a conflict

• Those involved in the conflict state their point of view, one at a time.

• A mediator sums up the main issues in the conflict.

• The mediator and the persons involved try to uncover underlying reasons for the conflict.

• Everyone participates in the development of possible solutions.

• The group agrees upon trying one of the solutions and the mediator writes down the agreement.

• Everyone evaluates the process and states whether they are satisfied with the solution.

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Another way to solve a conflict

Those involved in the conflict tell• How they have experienced the situation• How they have contributed to creating the problem• How they can contribute to a solution

Mediator and persons involved participate in the development of possible solutions.

The group agrees upon trying one of the solutions and the mediator writes down the agreement.

• Everyone evaluates the process and states whether they are satisfied with the solution.

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Conflict solving – think about

Phase Agenda

Problem What’s the reason for the conflict

Goal A ’win/win’-solution

Confrontation ’I’ messages

Active listeningUnderstanding others’ ”mind map of the world”

SolutionsAs many as possible to increase creative solutions

Judgement and choice

Consensus or compromise

Agreement Who is going to do what ?

Evaluating What did WE learn ?

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Conflicts – negative or positive ?

A conflict can be destructive, but it can also• bring forward different sides of a case• Enhance creativity and• stimulate learning. Also, a satisfactorily solved conflict is likely to• Create better co-operation, more trust and

deeper friendships, and • Improve the ability to handle conflicts in the

future – both in the group and in a later job situation.

It is not the conflict itself, but the lack of ability and will to solve it, that creates problems.

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Remember:Conflicts arises !!!It is your choice whether they shall lead to positive or negative results.It depends upon whether your mental frame is positive or negative !

What do you read here?

• OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE• OPPORTUNITY IS NOWHERE• OPPORTUNITY IS NOW HERE

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..and this was it for today!!