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INT. BOB’S BURGERS - DAY
TEDDY IS SITTING AT THE COUNTER, TALKING BOB’S EAR OFF.
TEDDY
... and if there aren’t any
directions, I can’t put the thing
together.
BOB IS BORED, BARELY LISTENING, AND BUSY FILLING UP KETCHUP BOTTLES FOR THE TABLES.
BOB
Uh-huh.
TEDDY
I should’ve known the deal was too
good to be true. You can’t trust
thrift stores, Bob.
LINDA WALKS IN, CHIPPER. SHE’S WEARING A LONG, FLOWING SKIRT AND MULTIPLE BRACELETS.
LINDA
Bobby, is Gayle here yet?
BOB
Do you think I’m hiding her?
LINDA
I never know with you, you sneaky son
of a gun.
BOB
Well, I’m not.
TEDDY
He’s telling the truth, Linda. I’ve
been here with him this whole time.
LINDA
Thank-you for your honesty, Teddy.
BOB
I was honest, Lin. She’s late. She’s
always late. She’s always..
BOB’S GETTING FRUSTRATED.
BOB (CONT’D)(annoyed)
Your sister is--
TEDDY
Linda, you look nice today. Where you
off to?
LINDA
Yes, I do look nice today. How sweet
of you to notice. I’m going to a
holistic healing convention with my
sister.
BOB
Why does she need you there for this?
All that holistic crap is bs anyway.
LINDA
It’s not bs, Bob. It’s natural.
BOB
It’s all a scam. They just want you
to spend money on their junk that they
can’t prove works and you can’t prove
doesn’t work.
"Epidode Title" 2.
LINDA
You’re so negative.
BOB
I’m not negative, holistic medicine
just sucks.
TEDDY
I can’t be here for this. My parents
fought like this all through my
childhood.
TEDDY TAKES OFF TOWARD THE BATHROOM.
TEDDY (CONT’D)(turning his head back)
Don’t take my fries, Bob. I’m still
working on those.
LINDA AND BOB CONTINUE THEIR CONVERSATION.
LINDA
You need to get rid of this
negativity. Your chakras are all out
of whack, I bet.
BOB
More of this healing mumbo jumbo?
Linda, I can’t take this. Your
sister’s rubbing off on you.
LINDA
I’d rather she rubbed off on me than
you.
LINDA REALIZES WHAT SHE’S SAID AND GIGGLES, THEN GIGGLES HARDER.
"Epidode Title" 3.
LINDA (CONT’D)
No, giggles, no. I’m mad at you and I
want you to work on your negativity,
because I don’t want our kids to be
raised by a curmudgeonly widower.
BOB
What are you talking about?
LINDA
If I die, you’ll have to raise those
kids alone and I want you to be a
positive role model for them while
they’re dealing with the untimely
death of their mother. Ooh! There’s
Gayle!
GAYLE’S OUTSIDE OF THE WINDOW, PICKING A WEDGIE AS SHE WALKS UP.
LINDA (CONT’D)
Aww, look at my gorgeous sister.
BOB
Uh, yeah. I see her.
TEDDY COMES OUT FROM THE BATHROOM AND WIPES HIS WET HANDS ON HIS SHIRT WHILE LOOKING AT GAYLE PICK HER WEDGIE.
TEDDY
She is a vision of loveliness.
LINDA(reacting to Teddy)
Aww.
GAYLE WALKS IN.
"Epidode Title" 4.
LINDA (CONT’D)(giddily, to Gayle)
I’m so excited to spend the day with
you!
GAYLE(annoyed)
Linda, please, let’s keep the small
talk to a minimum. We’re running late
as it is.
LINDA
I’m sorry, I’m just so freakin’
excited.
BOB
Why are you sorry? She’s the one
who’s late.
LINDA(with a tone)
Bobby...
GAYLE
Let’s go, Linda. I don’t need this
hostility. Besides I’m doubled-parked
in a red zone and that ambulance
driver looked like he might’ve been in
a hurry.
GAYLE RUSHES OUT THE DOOR, PULLING LINDA ALONG WITH HER WHILE LINDA BLOWS KISSES TO BOB.
LINDA(shouting)
Be a nice boy while I’m gone!
THE DOOR CLOSES BEHIND THEM.
"Epidode Title" 5.
BOB GOES BACK TO WORK AND IS NOW FILLING UP THE MUSTARD BOTTLES.
TEDDY
Do you think one of those kisses was
for me? It’d sure mean a lot if it
was.
ANOTHER CUSTOMER (DANA, MALE, 50, OVERWEIGHT, POLO SHIRT) SITS DOWN NEXT TO TEDDY.
THE SIGN POSTED FOR THE BURGER OF THE DAY SAYS “PESTO CHANGE-O”.
DANA
Pesto change-o, huh?
BOB
Excuse me?
BOB TURNS AROUND.
BOB (CONT’D)
I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t see you
there. Do you need a menu?
DANA
Is that some kind of magic joke?
BOB
Is what some kind of magic joke?
DANA
Pesto change-o.
BOB
Oh, yeah, the burger name. That
changes every day. It’s just
something fun we do here.
"Epidode Title" 6.
DANA
How old are you?
BOB
Um, 45.
DANA
I’ve never understood that.
BOB
What?
DANA
Grown men acting like children. Yeah,
I’ll take a menu.
BOB IS TAKEN ABACK, BUT QUICKLY HANDS DANA A MENU.
DANA (CONT’D)
Huh, just burgers and fries...
DANA MAKES A CLICKING NOISE WHILE HE CONSIDERS HIS OPTIONS, WHICH MAKES BOB WINCE WITH ANGER.
DANA (CONT’D)
I guess I’ll have the funny burger,
but please make sure to cook it
properly. My health is not a joke.
BOB(annoyed, shouting)
Can do!
DANA TURNS TO TEDDY.
DANA
Hi, how are you, I’m Dana.
TEDDY DOESN’T LIKE THIS GUY RIGHT AWAY.
"Epidode Title" 7.
TEDDY
I’m Teddy, but it’s Theodore to you.
DANA
Good to meet you Theodore. You from
around here?
TEDDY
Yeah.
DANA
I hate it here. Where I’m from is
much better.
DANA STRETCHES IN HIS CHAIR.
DANA (CONT’D)
Much, much better.
DANA YAWNS. TEDDY IS ANNOYED BEYOND BELIEF.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
GAYLE
It’s glorious.
WE SEE THEY’RE STANDING IN FRONT OF A GIANT, PLAIN WHITE BUILDING.
LINDA
Ooh, let’s take a picture of ourselves
before we go in. ‘Cause we’re gonna
walk out changed women.
GAYLE AND LINDA SQUEAL WITH DELIGHT AS THEY TAKE A PHOTO TOGETHER. WE SEE THE IMAGE ON THE CAMERA AND GAYLE IS TAKING UP MOST OF THE PHOTO SO LINDA ONLY HAS HALF HER FACE IN IT.
LINDA LOOKS AT THE PHOTO.
LINDA (CONT’D)
Aw, we were so young.
"Epidode Title" 8.
LINDA LAUGHS LOUDLY.
LINDA AND GAYLE READY THEMSELVES TO ENTER THE CONVENTION CENTER. THEY PUSH OPEN THE DOORS TOGETHER.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER
THE CONVENTION CENTER IS PACKED WITH BOOTHS SET UP FOR EVERY HOLISTIC HEALING PRODUCT IMAGINABLE.
GAYLE’S EYES LIGHT UP WHEN SHE ENTERS THE ROOM, BUT LINDA’S EYES DO THE OPPOSITE.
THE BOOTHS SAY THINGS LIKE “HOMEOPATHIC MANICURES”, “ASK THE DOCTOR: DR. HAMPTON RAMPT, PHD IN HERBAL OILS”, “LAVENDER URINE THERAPY”, “POLITICAL ACUPRESSURE”, “BRUISE WELLNESS”, “INCENSE SUNGLASSES”.
LINDA(to herself)
What have I done? A whole day of
this?
GAYLE
I know! Where should we start first?
LINDA(reading a booth’s sign)
Potato soap?
GAYLE
I was thinking we should start with
potato soap too! It’s like the
universe is listening to my thoughts
and giving me exactly what I want.
GAYLE RACES OVER TO THE POTATO SOAP BOOTH WHERE THERE IS A CHIPPER YOUNG MAN WORKING.
GAYLE (CONT’D)
Please tell us every detail about your
soap, young man.
"Epidode Title" 9.
YOUNG MAN
We have an informative video for that
exact soothing, natural purpose.
THE YOUNG MAN POINTS TOWARD THE TV AND THEY (AND THE AUDIENCE) WATCH A VIDEO ABOUT THE MAKING OF THIS SOAP.
INT. VIDEO - POTATOES SWIRL AROUND A COLORFUL BACKGROUND AND CREATE SHAPES AND FLOWERS AND PERFORM OTHER PSYCHEDELIC TRICKS
VIDEO (V.O.)
If the eyes are the window to the
soul, then potatoes must be all
knowing. After bathing, instead of
just feeling clean, don’t you want to
feel truly cleansed? Potato soap can
see into your soul with it’s patented
potato power that’s been proven by
science...
GAYLE IS ENTHRALLED. LINDA LOOKS HORRIFIED.
INT. WAGSTAFF SCHOOL - TINA’S CLASSROOM
TEACHER
Open your books to page 225. Now who
would like to read aloud?
NO HANDS GO UP.
TEACHER (CONT’D)
No one? Well then I guess I’ll just
have to choose someone. Tina...
TINA LOOKS PAINED.
"Epidode Title" 10.
INT. WAGSTAFF SCHOOL - LOUISE’S CLASSROOM
LOUISE IS CARVING SOMETHING INTO HER DESK WHILE HER TEACHER CHEERFULLY TALKS.
TEACHER #2
It’s everyone’s favorite day: Show and
Tell!
THE CLASS OOHS AND AHHS IN EXCITEMENT, EXCEPT FOR LOUISE, WHO ROLLS HER EYES.
TEACHER #2 (CONT’D)
We’ll begin with Caleb who brought a
photo of his favorite aunt to share
with us today. Isn’t that nice?
LOUISE FLOPS HER HEAD DOWN ON HER DESK AND WE SEE AN INTRICATE CARVING SHE’S LIKELY BEEN WORKING ON FOR MONTHS: A RAT EATING MR. FROND’S EYEBALL OUT OF HIS HEAD WHILE A TEAR ROLLS DOWN HIS CHEEK.
INT. WAGSTAFF SCHOOL - EUGENE’S CLASSROOM
EUGENE’S TEACHER IS WEARING A SILLY COSTUME. HE HAS ON A RAINBOW AFRO WIG, RAINBOW SUSPENDERS, AND RAINBOW CLOWN SHOES.
TEACHER #3
Does anyone know how a rainbow is
made?
EUGENE
By lighting a kitten’s fart on fire?
TEACHER #3
Eugene, that’s not appropriate, I’m
going to have to send you to the
princip...
THE SCREEN SPLITS IN THREE AND WE SEE ALL THREE OF THE TEACHERS TALKING AT ONCE.
"Epidode Title" 11.
TEACHER
Hold on, I almost forgot. Your book
orders came in today.
TEACHER #2
Hold on, I almost forgot. Your book
orders came in today.
TEACHER #3
Hold on, I almost forgot. Your book
orders came in today.
THEN WE SEE CLOSE-UPS OF THE KIDS’ FACES. THIS IS THE BEST NEWS THEY’VE EVER HEARD.
INT. WAGSTAFF SCHOOL - CAFETERIA - SAME DAY
TINA, LOUISE, AND EUGENE ARE ALL SITTING TOGETHER, HOLDING THEIR NEW PRIZED POSSESSIONS.
LOUISE
This might be the most I’ve ever loved
something. Sorry, guys, but I’ve
moved on.
TINA
A book of 75 of the most inspirational
people? That doesn’t seem like you.
LOUISE
Tina, come on, do you know me at all?
I’m going to draw on all of their
faces to humiliate them. Not so
inspirational with a tattoo of a
pantsless gremlin on your forehead,
now are you?
"Epidode Title" 12.
EUGENE
What did he do to deserve this?
LOUISE
He ran a 4-minute mile.
EUGENE
Tear him apart, Louise. Tear him
apart.
TINA
Well, my book has it’s own drawings.
It’s a Japanese comic book and it’s a
love story, ooh la la.
GENE
Please don’t look at me when you say
that.
TINA
Ooh la la.
TINA WINKS AT GENE.
GENE
Now that I like.
TINA WINKS AGAIN AND GENE MOVES HIS BODY ALL AROUND LIKE HE JUST GOT THE CHILLS.
LOUISE
You didn’t show us your book.
TINA
Yeah, Gene, where is it?
GENE
I didn’t order a book. I ordered...a
poster!
"Epidode Title" 13.
LOUISE
A poster of what?
GENE
A dog with a frisbee in it’s mouth.
TINA
Show me, show me!
GENE HOLDS IT UP. IT LOOKS EXACTLY AS BORING AS YOU’D IMAGINE.
TINA (CONT’D)
It’s beautiful.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER - SAME DAY
GAYLE
It’s beautiful.
WE SEE A CLOSE-UP OF A PRODUCT THAT LOOKS LIKE A PAIR OF MANNEQUIN HANDS. THEY’RE CALLED “SENSUAL STRANGER.”
LINDA
What is it?
THE GIRL WORKING AT THE BOOTH SPEAKS IN A VERY CALM, SOOTHING VOICE.
BOOTH GIRL
The Sensual Stranger behaves just like
real hands, but better.
GAYLE
Ooh, better than hands! You hear
that, Linda? Better than hands.
"Epidode Title" 14.
BOOTH GIRL
You can use these to massage your
lover, to caress your lap cat, or to
hold hands with when you’re feeling
lonely.
LINDA
Can’t your hands just do that stuff?
BOOTH GIRL
This isn’t about hands, it’s about the
experience of hands.
LINDA(annoyed)
Oh. Okay.
GAYLE USES THE MANNEQUIN HANDS TO CLAP WITH EXCITEMENT.
INT. BOB’S BURGERS
BOB IS MAKING BURGERS BEHIND THE GRILL WHEN HE SEES DANA WALK IN.
BOB
Oh god.
BOB DUCKS BEHIND THE GRILL.
TEDDY
What is it, Bobby? Did you see my
mother’s ghost?
DANA SITS DOWN NEXT TO TEDDY.
TEDDY (CONT’D)
Oh, it’s you. Bob, it’s not my
mother, it’s Dana.
BOB COMES UP FROM BEHIND THE GRILL.
"Epidode Title" 15.
DANA
Hey, it’s me. I’m here. You’re new
favorite customer.
BOB
Twice in one day? You liked that
pesto burger after all then?
DANA
Say, Bob, are you interested in buying
13 gallons of unpasturized milk?
BOB
Uhh, no.
DANA
Really? Why not?
BOB
I’m sorry, Dana, I’m kinda busy. Are
you going to have another Pesto Change-
o?
DANA
I know how that is. I’m actually busy
too.
BOB
Oh yeah?
DANA
You don’t get to where I am without
being busy.
BOB
Okay.
"Epidode Title" 16.
DANA
Where am I, you ask? I’m an
entrepreneur.
TEDDY(annoyed)
Is he kidding with this?
DANA
I retired at 29, but guess what? I’m
still working.
TEDDY
That doesn’t make sense.
DANA
14 kids.
BOB
That’s a lot.
DANA
Had them all before my 21st birthday.
BOB
Tough wife.
DANA
Never married.
TEDDY
Can you shut-up?
DANA
Theodore, is it?
TEDDY
It is.
"Epidode Title" 17.
DANA
Can I ask you something?
TEDDY(angry)
Sure you can. I believe in you.
DANA
Would you sign my petition to make the
letter ‘r’ illegal?
TEDDY
No one wants you here.
BOB
Pesto change-o, coming up!
INT. CONVENTION CENTER - SAME DAY
GAYLE IS LYING FACEDOWN AND SHIRTLESS ON A MASSAGE TABLE WITH MUSIC LOUDLY PLAYING.
GAYLE
Ooh, that feels so good.
WE SEE LINDA IS IN A SIMILAR POSITION ON THE TABLE NEXT TO HER.
LINDA
I don’t feel nothin’.
THE BOOTH IS CALLED “DEEP TISSUE MUSIC MASSAGE”
THE MAN AT THE BOOTH WALKS IN BETWEEN THEM.
BOOTH MAN
I think what’s happening is Gayle
isn’t afraid of the experience, but
Linda.. Maybe you’re a little scared?
GAYLE
That’s it. Linda, you’re scared.
"Epidode Title" 18.
LINDA
Huh. I don’t feel scared.
GAYLE
You are scared.
BOOTH MAN
Yes, you’re scared.
LINDA (CONT’D)
I have been holding in a fart this
whole time.
BOOTH MAN
See? Fear was holding you back. You
have to let the music touch you and
you have to let yourself touch the
music.
GAYLE
The music touched me and I touched the
music.
BOOTH MAN
Very good, Gayle. Perhaps you’ll be
interested in purchasing the full deep
tissue music massage package for at-
home use?
GAYLE
Sure. I’ll just leave my credit card
with you and you can decide for me
what my best option is.
LINDA
Gayle, no. No. Let’s browse around
some more first.
"Epidode Title" 19.
GAYLE
Oh, okay. I’ll be back.
THE BOOTH MAN LOOKS PERTURBED. LINDA TURNS AROUND AND STICKS HER TONGUE OUT AT HIM.
LINDA
Let’s go into the food room. I’m
starved.
GAYLE
I did read about a eucalyptus
cheesecake that fills you up while
also clearing chest congestion.
LINDA
Great, we’ll try that.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER - FOOD ROOM
THE FOOD ROOM IS GLORIOUS. ALL OF THE FOOD LOOKS AMAZING. UNFORTUNATELY THE FLAVORS ARE ALL BIZARRE.
LINDA
It smells like everyone in here is
wearing too much perfume. But look,
donuts!
LINDA RUNS OVER TO A TABLE WITH DONUTS.
BOOTH WOMAN
Would you like a natural donut?
LINDA
Yes, yes, yes. Mmm, chocolate!
LINDA GRABS UP A BROWN DONUT. SHE TAKES A BIG BITE AND HER EYES GET WIDE AND SHE STARTS TO CHEW VERY SLOWLY AND WITH HER MOUTH OPEN AS WIDE AS IT WILL GO.
"Epidode Title" 20.
BOOTH WOMAN
Can you believe there’s no chocolate
in that at all? That’s actually made
from the healing bark of the oak tree.
GAYLE
No kidding?
GAYLE’S MOUTH IS FULL AND SHE CHEERILY CARRIES 3 DONUTS AND MUNCHES ON THEM ALL.
BOOTH WOMAN
One donut per person.
LINDA PULLS HER SISTER AWAY.
LINDA(under her breath)
No one else is gonna want your nasty
bark rings.
LINDA’S STOMACH GRUMBLES AND SHE FRANTICALLY LOOKS AROUND FOR ANY BOOTH THAT SEEMS NORMAL. THE SIGNS SHE SEES SAY “NUT CHEEZE PIZZA”, “BEAN CURD SMOOTHIES”, “FREEZE DRIED TOFU DOGS”, “KOMBUCHA ICE-CREAM SANDWICHES”, AND “WHEAT GERM GUMMY BEARS”.
LINDA LOOKS UP TO THE SKY AND SCREAMS AT THE GODS. EVERYONE IN THE CONVENTION CENTER LOOKS AT HER, ALARMED.
GAYLE
Can’t decide, huh?
INT. BOB’S BURGERS - SAME DAY
THE KIDS ALL WALK IN WITH THEIR BACKPACKS ON.
GENE
Dad, look at my cool poster!
GENE PROUDLY SHOWS BOB HIS POSTER.
BOB
That’s great, Gene. I love it.
"Epidode Title" 21.
LOUISE
And look at this man jetskiing with no
arms. I colored the mountains brown,
so now it looks like he’s skiing down
a mountain of poop.
LOUISE SHOWS BOB THE PHOTO.
BOB
That’s truly magnificent, Louise.
TINA IS SILENTLY READING HER BOOK.
BOB (CONT’D)
Tina?
TINA CONTINUES READING.
BOB (CONT’D)
Tina, did you have something you
wanted to show me?
TINA
No.
TINA LOOKS UP AND SEES HOW DISAPPOINTED BOB LOOKS.
TINA (CONT’D)
Okay, a real quick peek, but this is
getting good so don’t drool all over
the pages.
BOB
I’ll try not to.
TINA GOES OVER TO BOB AND SHOWS HIM HER BOOK. SHE POINTS TO THE DRAWINGS AND DESCRIBES EACH PANEL.
"Epidode Title" 22.
TINA
Basho doesn’t want Emi to know he
knows she’s engaged to be married, but
Emi knows he knows but she doesn’t
want him to know that. So Basho is
slowly dying because he’s sad, but Emi
won’t talk to him about it because
she’s sad too.
BOB
Wow, Tina, that’s certainly dramatic.
TINA
Dramatic? Dad, it’s the saddest thing
that’s ever happened to anyone. Why
isn’t this my life? Do you think
Jimmy Jr would slowly die if I got
secretly engaged?
BOB
I, uh, yeah, probably.
TINA CLUTCHES HER BOOK TO HER CHEST AND BREATHES OUT A DEEP SIGH. SHE RUNS OFF WITH HER BOOK.
LOUISE
She’s a handful isn’t she, Bob?
GENE
Kids: you can’t live with ‘em, you
can’t live without ‘em. Or is that
bears?
"Epidode Title" 23.
BOB
Can you kids please help me by
refilling the napkins?
TEDDY
Oh boy, Bob, if you’re running low on
napkins I think I might know whose
fault it is: mine.
BOB
It’s fine, Teddy, we do this weekly.
TEDDY
Oh, phew, color me relieved. I was
beginning to think my mother’s ghost
was right about me.
DANA WALKS IN.
TEDDY (CONT’D)
Speak of the devil.
BOB
I don’t think that’s how you use that
phrase.
TEDDY
No?
BOB
No.
TEDDY
Oh. Hey Dana. Here to ruin our day
with your bad personality?
"Epidode Title" 24.
LOUISE
Whoa, Teddy, what’s with the attitude?
I like it.
LOUISE (CONT’D)(to Dana)
Listen here, Buddy, if Teddy don’t
like ya, then I don’t either. You got
that?
GENE
Me neither!
BOB
Alright, kids, it’s fine. Sorry,
Dana. Pesto change-o?
DANA
I came here to say goodbye.
BOB
Goodbye?
DANA
As you may or may not know, I’m not
from around here. I came here with my
stack of petitions hoping to make a
quick seven grand, then hit the road.
BOB
Okay...
DANA
But something happened. Life got in
the way. And so did friendship.
"Epidode Title" 25.
(MORE)
I spent so much time here with you
folks that I only managed to get
150,000 signatures while I was in
town.
BOB
That sounds like a lot.
DANA
But, you know what, it was worth it.
I’ll cherish the memories of the time
we spent together for the rest of my
days. And there will be a lot of
them, because I’m very healthy.
BOB
That’s good to know.
TEDDY
Yeesh.
DANA
But I think I’ll miss you most of all,
Theodore. Thanks for the laughs.
TEDDY
You’re welcome. Now get the hell out
of here.
DANA
I will, friend. I will.
DANA LEAVES THE RESTAURANT.
"Epidode Title" 26.
DANA (CONT'D)
GENE
Why did he make a speech? Was he
proposing to you?
TEDDY
Who cares? He’s gone.
LOUISE
Hey, look! He’s in my book of
inspirational people!
LOUISE SHOWS A PICTURE OF THE MAN IN HER BOOK.
TEDDY
Now I feel bad.
LOUISE
It says he was born with 4 testicles.
TEDDY
Now I feel really bad.
BOB
Why is that in your book?
LOUISE
I don’t know, it’s inspirational?
GENE
I’m inspired!
BOB
When will your mother be home?
INT. CONVENTION CENTER
A MAN IS DOING A PRESENTATION OF HIS PRODUCT, “THE STRESS STRAW”. HIS PRESENTATION IS FAST-PACED AND SIMILAR TO THE SHAM-WOW COMMERCIAL.
"Epidode Title" 27.
STRESS STRAW PRESENTER
So picture this: You’re having a bad
day, the rains coming down on you and,
oh no, your shoes are soaking wet.
Guess what, it’s not the end of the
world. The stress straw is there.
Just chew on the stress straw, like
so.
THE MAN CHEWS ON THE STRESS STRAW.
STRESS STRAW PRESENTER (CONT’D)
And all of your stress goes out the
window.
GAYLE LOOKS DELIGHTED. LINDA IS CHEWING ON A BARK DONUT, MISERABLE.
STRESS STRAW PRESENTER (CONT’D)
You can chew it, you can pull it, you
can twist it, you can break it. And
if you make a wish into it, it’ll come
true.
GAYLE AND THE OTHER ONLOOKERS ARE AMAZED.
LINDA GRABS GAYLE’S ARM, WHICH IS FULL OF BAGS OVERFLOWING WITH HOLISTIC JUNK.
LINDA
Gayle, let’s go, this place is bull-
"Epidode Title" 28.