Building and Maintaining

Effective Relationships

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Jamie Marsh

Director of Career ServicesWisconsin School of Business

Goals of Today’s Discussion

• Define the key attributes of effective relationships

• Learn about a research-based Emotional Intelligence (EI) framework for working with others

• Apply the framework to your personal and professional life

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Who I Am

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Relationships: Bridges to Success

• Platform to showcase talent and sell product to the world

• Training and development opportunities

• Guidance and wisdom of roads already traveled

• Opportunities that are impossible to obtain or achieve on your own

• Get things done: productivity and meaningfulness

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What are attributes of effective professional

relationships?

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Key Attributes of an Effective Relationship

• Self-awareness (strengths and limitations)

• Acceptance

• Trust/Honesty

• Respect

• Openness/Vulnerability

• Mutual Benefit

• Empathy

• Kindness

• Commitment

• Values Alignment

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Relationships in Action

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• Procter & Gamble • English candle maker and Irish soap

maker• Father-in-law encouraged joint

business following competition

• Why they were successful (motivation/shared vision)• Placed company’s welfare above their

own by selling personal assets to build a factory and focused on quality and cost savings

• Appreciated one another’s strengths and understood their own weaknesses

Relationships in Action

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• Google • Stanford PhD program students

• Relationship got off to a rocky start during a doctoral student tour of campus led by Larry Page

• Why they were successful (relatability/trust/respect)• Shared passion for technology

• Trust built to enable tough conversations

• Visionary alignment

What are your examples?

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What are the key factors that impede

relationships?

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Key Factors that Impede Relationships

• Lack of mutual benefit

• Deceit, mistrust or disloyalty

• Disrespect

• Miscommunication or silence

• Lack of understanding or shared values

• Competition or destructive criticism

• Lack of motivation

• Unclear value proposition or lack of perceived value

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Challenged Relationships

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• Facebook• Concerns between Eduardo Saverin

and Mark Zuckerberg arose

• Why they were unsuccessful (motivation/alignment/trust)• Lack of shared vision and alignment of

where to take the company

• Perceived lack of motivation by Saverin

• Zuckerberg’s actions developed mistrustand ultimately led to legal action

What are your examples?

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Managing Difficult Relationships

• Don’t make assumptions or biased judgments

• Get to know the person• Background, interests, past

successes• Engage in a genuine

conversation 1:1

• Be open and open-minded

• Find commonalities

• Share your needs and expectations when ready

• Utilize HR resources when needed

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Emotional Intelligence

• Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ), is the capacity of individuals to:• recognize their own and other

people's emotions

• discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately

• use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.

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Emotional Intelligence

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Emotional Intelligence

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Self-Awareness: Knowing one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, goals, values and their impact on others

• Hallmarks: • Knowing and accepting yourself as you are

• Self-confidence

• Realistic self–assessment

• Seeing yourself as others see you (feedback)

Articulating Your Values

Autonomy Dependability Growth Loyalty Risk Taking

Beauty Diversity Happiness Open-Minded Security

Challenge Effectiveness Health Passion Service

Communication Empathy Honesty Patience Simplicity

Competence Engagement Hope Power Spirituality

Competition Empowerment Humor Productivity Strength

Courage Equality Independence Quality Success/Wealth

Creativity Family Innovation Recognition Teamwork

Curiosity Freedom Intelligence Respect Trust

Decisiveness Friendship Love/Affection Responsibility Wisdom

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Emotional Intelligence

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Self-Regulation: Controlling or redirecting disruptive emotions and impulses

• Hallmarks: • Trustworthiness

• Integrity

• Comfort with ambiguity and change

• Thoughtfulness and reflection

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Emotional Intelligence

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Motivation: Being driven to succeed for the sake of achievement (intrinsic motivation)

• Hallmarks: • Passion for the work itself and for new challenges

• Continuous improvement

• Optimism in the face of failure

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Emotional Intelligence

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Empathy: Considering others’ feelings, especially when making decisions

• Empathy vs. sympathy

• Hallmarks: • Effectively managing crisis

• Ability to develop others

• Sensitivity to cross-cultural differences

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Emotional Intelligence

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Social Skill: Managing relationships to move people in desired directions

• Hallmarks: • Effectiveness in finding common ground

• Regulated influence

• Support system

• Expertise in building and leading teams

Key Attributes of an Effective Relationship• Self-awareness (strengths and limitations)

• Acceptance

• Trust/Honesty

• Respect

• Openness/Vulnerability

• Mutual Benefit

• Empathy

• Kindness

• Commitment

• Values Alignment

• Others?

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Emotional Intelligence Tools

• How Good are your People Skills?• https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMM_36.htm

• Quiz: Test your Emotional Intelligence• https://hbr.org/2015/06/quiz-yourself-do-you-lead-

with-emotional-intelligence

• Strengths Finder

• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

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Putting EI Into Action

• Awareness of what you contribute and what you need - mindfulness

• Communication• Establishing expectations and goals• Clarifying value propositions• Resolving conflicts through meaningful dialogue

• Relationships need to be nurtured

• Regular assessment of mutual benefits

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Action Steps

• What key take-aways will you put into practice to help you build and maintain meaningful relationships moving forward?

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Thank You!

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