Capitulo 4 Air Words

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4Writing theCompelling Lead

CHAPTER PREVIEWBroadcast lead sentences must not only serve the same function as newspaper headlines and story leads, but also be the starting point of a carefully constructed na rrative account. In major stories, the lead is usually obvious, but in minor stories,writers must look to keywords and use devices such as irony, common wisdom, orthe unexpected. Often, you can determine what should go into the lead by examining what in the story affects you, the writer. This chapter looks at various categories of leads: new story; reaction (reax); update, second-day, or follow-up (fob);perspective; segues; and soft or feature leads. It also examines what to avoid, including jammed, clich, question, and quote leads.

GLOSSARYBREAKiNG NEWS An unexpected event that requires consideration of coverage.CLICH LEAD A type of lead sentence that is built around an overused phrase.COMMON WISDOM A generally accepted account of something, usually without scientific proof.EXCEPTION LEAD A lead sentence that focuses on an unexpected event.FEATURE OR SOFT LEAD A lead sentence often used when the story angledoes not involve timely or deadline information. This type of lead is usuallylong, and is usually constructed of information not found in the story.FOLO LEAD (for follow up) A lead sentence that advances the information ofa new or breaking story. Same as the update or second-day lead.IMMEDIACY CUE Word or phrase that adds a heightened sense of time to astory. Examples would be This jus t in or At this moment.IRONY A narrative device that focuses on the opposite of the expected resultor meaning.

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JAMMED LEAD A lead sentence that attempts to include all story facts.Jammed leads should be avoided.KEYWORDS Items in a story that trigger interest in themes, perspective,events, or details.PERSPECTWE LEAD A lead sentence that relates the current story to previous events or trends.QUESTION LEAD A lead sentence that begins with a rhetorical question. Itis to be avoided.QUOTE LEAD A lead sentence that begins with an unattributed quote. It isto be avoided.REAX LEAD (for reaction) A lead that emphasizes the responses of persons orgroups to previous stories.SECOND-DAY LEAD This is the first attempt to restructure the informationfrom a breaking story. It could happen on the second day. Also called the fob.SEGUE A transition between parts of a presentation. In news, the segue is thethe transition into the next story. A segue lead ties a story to the preceding story.

LEADSWhen writing for broadcast, you should be spending a good portion of yourtime puzzling over the lead and how it will be written. The function of the leadin broadcast is far more complex and critical than it is in a newspaper.

The newspaper has a headline, written by the copyeditor, which is thereto attract the eye of the reader, and a lead written by the reporter, which is thebeginning of a story to which the reader has already been drawn. In the newspaper, the headline attracts and the lead simply kicks off the story.

But in broadcast, the lead must do both jobs. It must draw the audience4 to the story topic, while beginning the flow of information. For this reason, it1 crucial that the broadcast lead be clever, tight, attractive, and informative.A second reason for a good broadcast lead is the audiences wavering attention. The radio may be in the car and the television somewhere across the room.As we mentioned in Chapter 1, the audiences may be doing other things whilelistening to or watching the news. You have to break into their conversationsand get their attention to interest them in the story.

TRADONAL NEWS VALUESSome stories are going to be interesting and attract viewers no matter whats inthe lead. These are the major storiesbig ones in anyones bookand youllhave to mess these up to keep people from watching. On a good day, you mighthave three or four major stories.

On a bad news day, there may not be any major stories; in fact, you maybe dealing with stories that fall into the next categorymedium-interest stories,

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or second-tier stories. To identify whats interesting, look for something in thesecategories:

Effect on the viewers. People are very interested if their money, jobs, personal security, or family are threatened. This is known by some asheart, health, and pocketbook. Proximity. Viewers and listeners like stories that involve people or thingsclose to them, such as the neighborhood, the city, relatives or friends,or their friends neighborhoods and cities.

Prom inence. Prominence includes stories about highly visible personal ities such as entertainment stars, religious leaders, or politicians. Also,any stories about national or international governmental actions at ahigh level, actions in the area of social order such as war, or socialevents or themes that carry an importance solely by definition, such ashealth, education, or science Human inter est. People enjoy stories about successes, failures, and curi

ous events of unknown people, as well as stories about common, every-.day happenings in life.

WHAT INTERESTS ME ABOUT THIS STORY?If it isnt immediately obvious which category the medium-interest story is in, trustyour own judgment. Read the wire copy or your notes and underline words thatcarry the stor ys theme. These are keywords. Then look at what you underlined. Itanswers the question, What interests me about this story? Was it new details, thetragedy, the success, the bold plan, the risk taken, the irony, or the failure ? Did someone fight city hail or rise from obscurity? If you can isolate an answer, youll havethe topic area for your lead . Your own sense of news must become the yardstick.

He res an example of some story notes with keywords underlined.

Re: Dolphins and theories of communicationFrom: Researchers at the Saltmarsh Sea Mammal ParkSc ientists now believe dolphins communicate for playful as

wel l as serious reasons. In the past, resear chers thought that themammals only used their underwater squ eaks and whistles towarn of danger or suggest food availability. Now . . . the newresearch at Saltmarsh seems to indicate that dolphins ygames to pass the time at sea. The research was done over aseven-year period and was led by Dr. Bivalv e Watson.

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or second-tier stories. To identify whats interesting, look for something in thesecategories:

Effect on the viewers. People are very interested if their money, jobs, personal security, or family are threatened. This is known by some asheart, health, and pocketbook. Proximity. Viewers and listeners like stories that involve people or thingsclose to them, such as the neighborhood, the city, relatives or friends,or their friends neighborhoods and cities.

Prominence. Prominence includes stories about highly visible personalities such as entertainment stars, religious leaders, or politicians. Also,any stories about national or international governmental actions at ahigh level, actions in the area of social order such as war, or socialevents or themes that carry an importance solely by definition, such ashealth, education, or science

Human interest. People enjoy stories about successes, failures, and curious events of unknown people, as well as stories about common, every-,day happenings in life.

WHAT INTERESTS ME ABOUT 11-f IS STORY?If it isnt immediately obvious which category the medium-interest story is in, trustyour own judgment. Read the wire copy or your notes and underline words thatcarry the storys theme. These are keywords. Then look at what you underlined. Itanswers the question, What interests me about this story? Was it new details, thetragedy, the success, the bold plan, the risk ta,ken, the irony, or the failure? Did someone fight city hail or rise from obscurity? If you can isolate an answer, youll havethe topic area for your lead. Your own sense of news must become the yardstick.

Heres an example of some story notes with keywords underlined.

Re: Dolphins and theories of communicationFrom: Researchers at the Saltmarsh Sea Mammal ParkScientists now believe dolphins communicate for playful as

well as serious reasons. In the past, researchers thought that themammals only used their underwater squeaks and whistles towarn of danger or suggest food availability. Now.. .the newresearch at Saltmarsh seems to indicate that dolphins pjygames to pass the time at sea. The research was done over aseven-year period and was led by Dr. Bivalve Watson.

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Once youve underlined the keywords, youve got some idea of what hastriggered your interest. As an example, in the fifth line, the keywords playfulevents are underlined. They could be the focus in your lead.

HOW MUCH OF THE STORY GOES INTO THE LEAD?Very little, is the answer. Broadcast leads are best when they are short and haveonly enough information to suggest the guts of the story. Attempt to answer oneof two questions in the leadwhere and what? Or where, and what is the intensity of the story? The where is easy, but the what or intensity is more complex.

Underlined keywords help define the what. The what should not be toogeneral, or it could just as well lead to a different story and will lack appeal.Heres a general lead, accurate but uninteresting.

SCIENTISTS AT THE SALTMARSH SEA PARK HAVE SOME NEW RESEARCH ABOUT DOLPHINS.This is much too general and not very exciting. You dont see many key

words replayed here. With this lead, you might only be cueing a segment ofthe audience who were generally interested in whether the researchers are stillalive.

Dont ignore your keywords. Say the playful events element intriguedyou. Put tha t in or near the lead. To reach an audience more interested in thegeneral concepts of the story, the lead must be more precise. Heres your rewrite.

FOR YEARS SCIENTISTS THOUGHT DOLPHINS MADE UNDERWATERSOUNDS ONLY TO WARN OTHER DOLPHINS ABOUT DANGER.NOW SOME NEW RESEARCH SAYS THE DOLPHINS ALSO COMMUNI

CATE FOR SOCIAL REASONS.. .SUCH AS PLAYING GAMES.

Thats better. More elements that intrigued you are in this lead or its nextsentence. It attracts not only people generally interested in marine biology, butalso those who are fascinated by our relationship with other creatures on theplanet and with attempts to communicate with them.

AVOID HYPE IN LEADSA television station in a major California market once had an unwritten butwell-known policy that urged its newswriters to insert adjectives such as bizarre,stunning, spectacular, or one-of-a-kind into almost every lead. The stories allsounded like this:


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THE CITY COUNCIL.. .IN A STUNNINQMOVE. . .IS GOING TO...The constant use of such words crosses the line into hype or sensational

ism, which is the repeated use of certain elements to thrill or amaze. At somepoint , i t must have desensitized the audience.If you have stories that are indeed bizarre, you dont need to hype them.

Your audience will catch on if your lead gives away enough of the story.

CATEGORIES OF LEADSThere are many different approaches to writing leads. Although it is difficult togroup leads into categories, we will consider those which occur most often: newstory, reax, update or second-day, perspective, exception, segue, and featureleads. There are other ways to set up valid categories, but for the purpose of ourexercises we will use these.

New Story (Breaking News) LeadsNew story leads are the normal, everyday variety that are used for unexpected,breaking items. This could be a sudden event, a scientific report, a crime story,or any action on a new topic. Whatever the theme, the new story lead is thefirst time that the audience will hear about this story.

Newspaper style allows you to summarize the entire story in the lead sentence, but for radio and television you must learn to hold back some of theinformation in a new story lead. Broadcast stories spread out the information,releasing a little at a time. The leads have only a few details, generally theand the &e. The who and the why come later. The when will either be highlighted or ignored.

Including only a few details in a new story lead is generally enough to holdthe audiences interest. Heres an example of the what and the where in a lead.

A MAN DROVE HIS CAR THROUGH A DOWNTOWN STEELTOWNBANK WINDOW.

In this lead, the writer is offering a few facts, but saving the identification(who) for later and the reason (why) for the central part of the story.

New story leads will be possible in fewer than 25 percent of your stories,but because the goal is to release only a few details, the new leads often are thetoughest to write. Try keeping the word count in the lead to 11 words or under.

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Situation 1

Situation 2

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Write a lead for both of these situations.

You are writing for the 8 a.m. morning newscast.You get a handout from the Steeltown Transit District saying they

are planning to spend $2,243,000 to redesign and rebuild some of thenew articulated buses they recently purchased.

The work will start in one month.Until the overhauls, though, more and more of the new buses willbe out of service because they cannot be fixed. That leaves the districtshort on running stock and unable to make all the runs. Service formany commuters to downtown and back will be curtailed, meaningdelays of up to 30 minutes on some lines.

With a few calls, you learn that the work is being done because ofa Transit District mistake in ordering the buses. The wrong gears wereselected and the wear and tear on the ones chosen has destroyedmany of the transmissions.

At their regular Tuesday meeting, the board of supervisors heard areport about a toxic substance on the tile surfaces of the McDermottPark public swimming pool. Health Director Shirley McCleansuggested draining the pool and having it scrubbed. The supervisorsdebated this, because summer break has started and the pool is busyevery day. The county attorney told the supervisors they would beliable if anyone became ill from the substance. Supervisors voted 7-0to close the pooi for one week.

Writing New Story Leads

Write your lead here:



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Reax LeadsThis is a good lead for any story more than four hours but generally less thana day old. Basically, a reax lead advances the story, concentrating on the reaction of someone who comments on the initial event. To find that person, askWho will be affected? Get a response from tha t person and it becomes the lead.Then you can follow with information about the initial event.An example would be the city managers action to fire the transit district director. Even if that was done at a late-night meeting and you are uncertain whether your audience has heard about it or read it in the paper, yourbroadcast lead the next morning might not be the firing as much as the reaction (reax) to the firing. Its both an update and an advance to the story. Heresthe reax lead on that one.

SOME OF STEELTOWNS BUS DRIVERS SAY THEY ARE UNHAPPYTHEIR BOSS WAS FIRED LAST NIGHT...The next paragraph explains what happened; then in the fourth or fifthparagraph, return to the reaction. The reax lead is a good choice, because of theneed to advance the information.A word of caution. Dont overuse immediacy cues, words that tell theaudience what hot stuff this story is. Because the time element is so crucial inthe reax or second-day lead, it is necessary to exercise restraint in beating theaudience over the head concerning your news-gathering abilities. Be carefulwhen even minor stories get the following kind of treatment.REACT ION TO TH E SUDDEN TRAN SIT FIRING IS START LING THIS

MORNING AND YOU ARE HEARING IT FIRST NOW.SOM E OF THE DIS GRUNTLED BUS DRIVERS ARE TELLING K-560 NEWSEXCLUSIV ELY THAT THEY ARE UNHAPPY THE IR BOSS GOT HIS PINKSLIP . . .AND THAT HE HAD BEEN DOING A GREAT JOB GETFING TH E SYSTEM BACK ON TRACK.



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Reax Leads

EXAMPLE:

Situation B

Situation C

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(( t EXERCISE 4-B )))

Review each situation and write a reax lead. Keep your leads under 11 words.SAMPLE: Situation AFor a 6 p.m. newscast. The president, a Republican, at 10 a.m. accusesthe Democrats of undermining a proposed law that would assist veterans who are looking for mortgages to buy houses.At 4 p.m., the Democratic House leader responds, saying the it was

the Republicans who stalled the bill because of a rider that wouldhave allowed more school financing.

CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS ARE SAYING THEYARENT THE ONES WHO STOPPED THE NEW VETERANSHOME BUYING BILL.

For the 11 p.m. newscast. You have the White House announcement(5 p.m.) that U.S. troops will go to the Balkans on a peace-keepingmission. At 7:30 p.m., Democrats respond that the president neverconsulted Congress and they will stop the orders.

Write your lead for B here:

Fo r the 8 a.m. news cut-in in the morning. At 8 p.m. lfvening, a criticof the mayor announced that the FBI is investigating the contractsawarded for the new airport terminal. It made the late newscasts and themorning paper. At 6:30 this morning, the mayor, interviewed on a localtalk-radio show, says this is false. The mayor says there is no investigation.

Write your lead for C here:


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Second-Day, Fob, or Update LeadsA second-day, fob, or update lead advances an earlier story. These leads arelooking for the next step in the story, whether it be an investigation, exp lanation, action taken by government, or whatever. These differ from the reaxbecause these are not based on a personal reaction to the story.

Although the update, second-day, and fob leads are essentially the same,there is a slight difference. The update can come at any time. The second-daylead is usually the beginning of the major newscast the next day. A fob leadcan update, or it can branch off to a sidebar.These types of leads present the problem of estimating how much background the public remembers and how much is needed to brief them. If yourlead is this,

AN APPEALS COURT HAS REVERSED AN IMPORTANT RULING IN THEFLORIDA ELECTION CASE.

your listeners or viewers may not remember which court decision you are talking about. A better update lead reveals a topic to the ruling:AN APPEALS COURT HAS REVERSED A FLORIDA ORDER TO RECOUNT

DAMAGED BALLOTS IN SEM INO LE COUNTY.



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EXERCISE 4-C

Second-Day, Folios, or UpdatesReview these examples ofwire service copy. Note in each that there are events thattook place yesterday and events that are more recent. Be sure to focus on the mostrecent events for your lead. Now write the lead sentence of each story. Keep yourlead to 11 words.

BERNOULLI, France (PL). ..A 270 foot unsinkable ferryboat capsizedand sank yesterday in choppy seas in the mouth of the harbor atOstende, Belgium.

All 37 passengers and the crew of six were rescued, officials saidlate last night. The ferryboat had just completed a trip from Dover,England, and now is resting on its side in only 40 feet of water. It isa hazard to navigation, authorities conceded. At this point, officialsare closing the Ostende harbor until they decide what to do about thesunken ferryboat.


ASHRAM, India (PL)...The Indian government is not looking kindlyon the return of the controversial American guru Abba and hisfollowers.According to todays reports in New Delhi papers, the government

has issued orders to make his stay in India as difficult as possible.Yesterday, the guru and four members of his party had to secure special travel permits for moving around within India. Also, the gurumust travel by bus after his special car permits were denied. TheIndian government has assigned agents to travel with him.The U.S. government is interested in the gurus travels. He is

wanted in the U.S. on felony charges for gun possession and illegalland possession.


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Perspective LeadsPerspective is overviewa comparison with current situations, the past, or other jassociated materialand it is the journalists job to provide perspective ifneeded for each story. in newspapers that may come several paragraphs afterthe lead, but in broadcast its more common to find perspective in the lead,because a perspective lead most closely resembles the opening of a conversat ion, in which a person might say Well, its happened again.

Quite often the perspective on the story is what makes it interesting; by placing perspective in the lead, you are alerting the audience right away to the mostintriguing element. So to write a perspective lead, you ignore the immediacy, thenew reax, or the update on the item. Instead, you begin with the overviewhow pthis event fits into the pattern. To find the perspective, ask yourself:

1. Is thi s s to ry related to current controversies or other events? For example,even if you have new information about one of many buildings burnedin todays flash brush fire, your lead might ignore it. Instead, the leadwill wrap various damage reports together, giving a perspective on thegrowing tragedy.

FIRE OFFICIALS ARE NOW SAYING TH E ROGERS FLAT FIRE IS TH EBIGGEST IN TEN YEARS.

2. Does this topic fit into any historical pattern? For example, if this story isabout a monkey that has escaped from the local zoo, and you knowthere have been a number of escapes, then you might want to bypassthe new story lead and go instead with the perspective lead. Heres anexample of how not to write your lead:

A MONKEY ESCAPED FROM TH E STEELTOWN ZOO THIS MORNINGThis is usable but dull because it doesnt have perspective. A perspectivelead relates todays event to a pattern:

FO R THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH. ..A MONKEY IS ON THELOOSE TONIGHT.

IT ESCAPED FROM THE ZOOS MONKEY ISLAND EXHIBIT SOMETIME THIS MORNING.ZOOKEEPERS THINK...

Perspective leads are very popular and youll be writing a lot of them. Onlyone word of caution. Do not add perspective if you havent researched the factsor dont understand the situation. A cardinal rule of journalism, Dont assumeanything, is never more important than here. Check your facts carefully.



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(C EXERCISE 4-D

Perspective LeadsReview the situation notes, mark keywords, and write the first :15 of each story.Your leads should be no more than 11 words long.

Situation 1Three days of torrential rain. Serious flooding now. These are reportsfrom the suburbs of Steeltown.

In Carrington Falls, a canyon flooded and two houses werecompletely lost. No injuries. In East Merimac, a drainage culvertbacked up and millions of gallons of runoff flooded the EastvaleShopping Center. Water is thee feet deep. No injuries, but 24 storesaffected and millions in damage. In Bestwicke, a house slid down ahillside, and crumbled the back wall of a cookie store on the streetbelow. No one was hurt.


Situation 2No negotiations today and none scheduled tomorrow. This is now the45th day of the first hospital workers strike in Brayer County in 10years. Local 231 of the Hospital Workers wants a 4 percent raise, butthe county says it cannot pay any raises this year. There are 600workers out at four locations. Only doctors are working at the hospitals, and only emergency services are offered.


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Exception or Irony LeadsWhile there is no rhyme or reason that this should have its own category, exception or irony is used so often that it stands out.

The exception lead uses the one-of-a-kind nature of the situation as thelead. All you need to ask is: Is this unusual or somehow outside of the normalway things happen?Fo r instance, a zoo shuttle bus driver on her first day makes a wrong turnand ends up at a nearby shopping center where the driver has to call for help.The lead may sound like this:

N O RMA L L Y .. .THE ELEPHANT TRAIN AT THE ZOO TAKES YOU TO THEA N IMA L S .. .BUT T O D A Y W A S D I FF E RE N T.

Or take this touching account:D E PU T Y S HE RI FF L A N C E BEAME WA S STANDING BESIDE A S O F T

D RIN K MACHINE WHEN HE H E A RD IT MEOW.. .A N D THATS HOW THELITFLE LOST KITTEN BOOTSY WA S FOUND.

Irony leads note when something is exactly the opposite of what is expected.

NORMALLY.. .PIGS LIVE OUTSIDE.. .BU T IN M A R V IST A ESTATES...LUANN MELTON HA S GIVEN KITCHEN ACCESS RIG H T S TO HE R POTBELLIED P IG .

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(( EXERCISE 4-EException or Irony LeadsWrite exception or irony leads for the following situations. Keep each lead to 11words or less. Work on a separate sheet of paper.

1. A gambling barge, which normally is tied up on the Mississippi side of theriver, where gambling is legal, broke loose and ended up in an Arkansascounty, where gambling is illegal.

2. A feeder airline pilot became confused while on approach to Ft. Lauderdaleand landed at the wrong airport.

3. A bank mistakenly direct-deposits extra money in a retired mans account.When he went looking for his usual $1,500, he had $1,500,000.

4. Swallows usually nes t in the recesses of roof eaves around the city, but thisyear one bird happily set up a nest in a streetlight that hangs over one of themajor intersections.

5. City gardeners, who usually ride on large, gas-powered mowers to cut thegrass, this year have brought in a herd of goats.

6. Benjamin Ellsberg found a machine gear in a bowl of breakfast cereal, the samecereal he has eaten for the past 25 years.

7. A mother dog has adopted a stray kitten as part of its litter.8. A group of seniors from the Westfield Retirement Home went skydiving.

Everyone who participated was over 75.9. A car thief tried to steal an unmarked patrol car while the undercover deputies

were outside it making a phone call.

It1i

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Segue LeadsSegue is a music term describing the interval between songs. It is used as a nounto describe a transition (a tight segue) or as a verb (to segue from X to Y).In news, the term describes the transition from one story to the next.

A segue lead for story B is based on key themes in story A. The producermakes this happen by clustering similar stories in the newscast. Once the storyrundown is locked in, its possible to write a segue lead where contiguous stories have the same themes.

Sometimes the segues are easy and are natural flows from the previousstory. But often you may have to look hard for keywords in story A to makethat leap to story B. The segue lead can be based on story conditions, as wellas on time or location.

Segues From Stoiy Conditions. Say, the previous story, story A, is about anescaped rhesus monkey. The story that follows, story B, for which you are writing a segue lead, is about the arrival of new pandas at the zoo.

ZOOKEEPERS HAD A MUCH MORE PLEASANT EXPERIENCE TODAYWHEN TWO RARE PANDAS...This lead allows story B to roll from the information in story A. But suppose

your editor wants the segue to be related in a different way. Story A is still the zoostory, but story B is about a prison escape. It might be far-fetched, but that dependsupon how you handle it. Heres an example of a segue lead for story B.

AN ESCAPE OF A DIFFERENT NATURE.. .AND FAR MORE DANGEROUS.. .AT COUNTY JAIL...Geographic or Time Segues. These are most common and are often added

later by a newscaster. Heres a geographic example for the prison escape.ALSO IN BRAYER COUNTY.. .TWO MEN WHO...

A geographic or time segue is certainly not as clever or thoughtful as the others,and should be saved for the last-minute when brainpower has failed for the day.

The Dangers of Segue Leads. The segue leads biggest trap is the attemptto make a connection that isnt there. Thats happened too many times in news.A second problem arises when the producer drops story A from the newscast,leaving story B with a lead that doesnt make sense.

Say the first story is about new federal regulations allowing retirees to access moreof their IRA savings accounts, and the second story is about a conservation group whodeaned up a creekbed to save it from erosion. So the writer develops a segue lead.

AND A DIFFERENT KIND OF SAVING WENT ON TODAY AT CACHECREEK WHEN...As you can see, if the IRA story gets dropped that segue wouldnt work.

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IY EXERCISE 4-F

Segue LeadsReview the situations and write segue leads for stories 2 and 3 based on the storiesthat precede them. Your leads should be no more than 11 words long.

StorylCOMMUTERRAIL WILL BE SLOWING DOWN THE

MORNING TRAIN SERVICE FROM MAR VISTA ESTATES TOSTEELTOWN.TRANSIT OFFICIALS SAY THE SPEED REDUCTIONS ARE

NEEDED BECAUSE THEY WILL BE REPA IRING THETRACKS.THEY ESTIMATE THE SLOWER TRA INS WILL ONLY ADD

10 MINUTES TO THE COMMUTE.

Situation for Story 2CommuterRail train drivers will begin a job action on Monday.. .becausethey have been working without a contract for the past three months.They will follow all safety rules and wont work overtime.Write a segue lead here for Story 2.

Situation for Story 3Worldwide Airlines will open its new corporate offices in downtownSteeltown Monday. The 4,000 employees who will begin work thatday used to work in Mar Vista headquarters. It is expected many willdepend on CommuterRail trains to get to work.Write a segue lead here for Story 3.

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Feature or So ft Leads -Many times you will work on a story that is timeless and can be held for weekswithout getting old. Often called an evergreen or an H-F-R (for hold for release),this type of feature fits in the area of soft newsthe human interest featurestory. These stories dont have the angle of immediacy, or reax, or perspective.In many cases, it will take a clever bit of writing to fashion the lead.The lead for the feature story can often be found in the more universalthemes it represents or in the commonsense lesson it provides. In unusual cases,you might have to resort to well-known quotations, sayings, metaphors, songlyrics, or poems.

Lets say this story involves a construction worker who has invented a special drill for the new Steeltown sewer project. Its not a new story, or a reax, ora fob. Theres not a lot of perspective to use. Certainly, theres no segue in sight.

The feature lead is whats left. Here, the writer has chosen to highlight theunusual nature of this event.

MOST WORKERS COME TO THE JOB.. .PUT IN EIGHT HOURS.. .ANDHEAD HOME.

BUT SOME ARE LOOKING FOR WAYS TO IMPROVE WHAT THEY DO.ONE OF THOSE IS STEELTOWN SEWER WORKS WELDER AURELIO

CASTENAGA.WHILE WORKING ON...

Problems With Feature Leads. Backing into the story with a feature lead canbe dangerous at times because the lead can grow to unwieldy lengths, often morethan half of the time allotted for the story. It took, for instance, almost :10 toget into the drill invention story example. That might have gone even longer.A second danger of feature leads is that the theme of the metaphor, quotation, or joke may not fit the situation. Heres an example of that problem:

THOMAS EDISON ONCE SAID INVENTORS ARE CRAZY PEOPLE. ..BENTON SAVING THE WORLD BY TINKERING.

AND THATS WHAT ONE SEWER WORKER HAS BEEN DOING LATELY...GOING CRAZY IN THE PIPELINES .. .BECAUSE HE DIDNT HAVE ADURABLE BIT FOR HIS DRILL...That one might even draw a lawsuit. It also emphasizes the third danger

of the feature leadinaccuracy of the chosen quote, saying, or whatever is used.For instance, did Thomas Edison really say that? Look it up. Maybe the reporteronly half-remembers the famous old saying. If you dont, there are hundreds ofviewers out there who know it exactly, and they probably wont be timid aboutcalling in to let the staff know about the mistake.

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Feature LeadsReview the situation notes, circle the keywords, and write two different :15 featureleads for this story, one using an old saying or proverb, and the other using a feature lead of your choice.

SituationTwo men are attempting to break the tandem bicycle record acrossthe United Sta tes . They will leave tomorrow from a downtown SanFrancisco park and head east to the boardwalk in Atlantic City. Theyare Michael Denton, 37 , of Arlington, Virginia, and William Popper,24 , of Devonshire Springs, Maryland. They are doing this to raisemoney for the Muscular Dystrophy Fund. The attempt is unusualbecause Popper is blind. They will be followed by a van carrying spareparts and personal belongings. They expect the trip will take 18 days.Write both leads here:

LEADS TO AVOIDSome leads are awkward. Although not grammatically wrong, they can put thenewscaster in a difficult situation with long sentences, dull writing, or questionable emphasis on words. The four we will consider are the jammed, clich,question, and quote leads. None of these is forever banished; rather, they shouldbe used sparingly, if at all.Avoid Jammed LeadsA jammed lead is sim ilar to the newspaper inverted pyramid lead, in which thewriter attempts to tell the entire sto ry in one sentence. In broadcast, it just doesntwork. Bo th the broadcaster and the audience need the pauses provided by scriptsdesigned for speech patterns.

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The best method of fixing a jammed lead is to break it up in to a numberof sentences or to focus on some keywords in the story and try for a new storyor perspective lead.

Heres a jammed lead.ON A V OTE O F FIVE-TO-TWO...THE SANTA CLARA SUPERVISORS ARE

PUTTING ON HOLD TWO MULTI-MILLION D O LL AR S EW E R P R OJ EC T SUNTIL A SUPERVISORS COMMITTEE B EG IN S T O. I NV ES TI GA TE THECH A RG E S O F F R A U D .. . M IS M A N A G E M E NT . . . A N D P O LI T IC A L FAVORITISMIN TH E A WA RD OF TH E LUCRATIVE CO N T RA CT S FO R TH E WORK ONTH E NEW TREATMENT PLANT INGRESS PIPES.Heres the rewrite:

SANTA CLARA SUPERVISORS ARE PUTflNG TWO EXPENSIVE SEWERPROJECTS ON HOLD.

EXERCISE 4-H

Avoid Jammed LeadsReview the situation notes, underline some keywords, and write a :15 lead for thisstory. Keep the word count under 11 .

SituationYoure working on the 6 p.m. news. At 3:00 this afternoon, a runawaytruck smashed into a house under construction on a hillside above anelementary school in the Walnut Vista section of Steeltown. The trucktore the half-finished house from its foundation, and the truck andhouse plunged into the schoolyard. The house was worth $225,000,the truck was worth $15,000, and the load of glass the truck was ca rrying was worth $10,000. Two teenagers were playing basketball inthe otherwise empty schoolyard. They pulled the driver, Roger Barnes,36, out of the cab. Barnes was later arrested by city police for drunkendriving and taken to jail.


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Avoid Clich LeadsAlthough clichs are easy to insert for leads, they should be avoided and aneffort made to write a more clever opening.

The most overused clich leads are the good news/bad news ones tha tseem to pop up in almost every newscast.THERES GOOD NEWS FOR CAR BUYERS...

orBAD NEWS FOR TAXPAYERS. THE...

orTHERES GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR DOG LOVERS ...

The difficulty with good news/bad news leads or any other clich isoveruse. Because different writers prepare a single broadcast, the goodnews/bad news leads can show up twice or three times in a newscast. Whenthis happens, the leads lack punch. Also, a good news lead is a bit of editorializing on our part. Maybe it was good news for some, but it could have beenbad news for others.Practice writing all of your stciries without using good news or badnews leads. The day will come when you are overloaded with work, the deadline is five minutes away, and your brain has ceased to function. Thats the timeto resurrect this tired old lead.

Avoid Question LeadsQuestion leads are an old broadcast standby. They show up in plenty of newscastsmore than they need to. As with clich leads, the question formatbecomes stale after the second or third use.

WHAT IS RED AND WHITE AND GREEN ALL OVER? WELL .. .IT ISNTTHE ZEBRA AT THE ZOO BECAUSE...

orWHAT DOES EVERYONE DOWN AT COUNTY JAIL WANT IN THE OLDCHRISTMAS STOCKING ?WELL.. .IT COULD BE A GOOD PAIR OF EAR PLUGS...

For now, avoid using questions for leads . As you become more skilled, and arewriting for yourse1f, theres nothing wrong with occasionally using this opening.

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There is another point to consider. Questions are tough on the newscaster,especially if he or she is someone other than the writer and is surprised by thequestion. Sometimes its hard to get the right inflection. Other times, the question may simply allow the audience to answer no or so what and thenignore your story.

( EXERCISE 4-I

Turning Around the QuestionFollow the example and change the question leads.

WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO COMMUTE TO WORK?ALMOST ANYONE WHO RIDES THE BUS WILL TELL YOUTHAT...To change this example, eliminate the question and start with the answer.

ALMOST EVERYONE WHO RIDES THE BUS WOULD TELL YOUTHAT...

Now turn around these question leads:

WHO IS THE LUCK IEST POLITICIAN THIS YEAR?IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN BOB BOSTWICK. . .THE NEW STATECONTROLLER.

WHATS THE MOST DANGEROUS INTERSECTION IN THECITY? WELL.. .A NEW STUDY SAYS ITS THE CORNER OF BAND OAK STREETS.

Write your leads here:

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Avoid Unnecessary Quotes as LeadsCold quotes, which are quotes without advance attribution, are tempting. Theyare dramatic. They sometimes stun the listeners and viewers. Sometimes, theyeven workmaybe once a month.

In the meantime, dont use unattributed quotes as leads. Otherwise youput your newscasters in jeopardy. Quotes need dramatic readi

ng, and mostnewscasters are not ready to adopt a persona at the top of every story. In thenext example, an unattributed quote appeared in a newscast after a story aboutan unexpected tragedy. This was the lead.

I AM SADDENED.. .DISMAYED.. .AND SICKENED BY THIS WHOLE MESS.

THOSE WERE THE WORDS TODAY OF...

Unfortunately, it was easy to confuse the opening quote with the end ofthe previous story. In this case, the newscaster realized what had happened andshe became flustered during the remainder of the story. Before a quote, put inadvance attribution.

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(( EXERCISE 4-J

LeadsReview the situation, underline the keywords, and write two leads for this story.

SituationThis occurred at Hilltop Metropolitan hospital last night at 11:30 p.m. Aneighborhood power failure had knocked out electricity to various partsof the hospital. Emergency generators kicked in everywhere except forone operating room, in which a Cesarean section birth was underway.

A quick-thinking nurse grabbed a flashlight from another room andheld it for doctors while they continued the operation. The lights wererestored in 10 minutes and everything went okay. Chief surgeonDr. Mary Wentz said it certainly made for an interesting operation.The baby girl, named Luz (for light), is fine. Her mother, MariaEspinoza, 24 , of Steeltown, said she is thrilled by the nurses quickthinking. The nurse, Byron Walcott, 28 , Fairview, said it was his camping flashlight and he was lucky he was just back from a trip. WhenI turned it on, he said, I hoped I had remembered to put in newbatteries. It was weak, but by some miracle, it kept on long enough.

Write your leads here:

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More LeadsReview the situation, underline the keywords, and write two leads for this story.

SituationThe school board met last night, and after a routine 5-hour session,they voted to close five elementary schools, all in the Riverviewdistrict, which has a high minority population. The board says theclosures will save over $2 million in the next three years. Thestudents from the closed schools will be bused to schools in ManorHeights, which is a very rich suburb, with few minority residents.At the meeting, parents from Riverview charged racism wasinvolved in the reassignments. They pointed out that the schools wereclosed in their district because all of the school board members andthe superintendent live in Manor Heights. You are unable to confirmwhether or not that is true. However, you do learn it will cost over$1.5 million for the busing program in three years, an expense thedistrict wouldnt have without the closures.Write your leads here:

CHAPTER SUMMARYThe writer has an important job in preparing the lead for a broadcast story. Onradio and television, the lead sentence substitutes for both the headline andstory lead in print. It must draw attention while starting the stor y.

Writers might be able to bui ld leads around the storys effect on theviewer, proximity, prominence of those involved, and the human-interestangle. Many categories of leads are available, including new story , reax, second-day/update , perspective, exception, segue, and feature. Writers shouldavoid jamming too much information into the lead, or beginning stories withclichs, quotes, or questions.

98 CHAPTER 4

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