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FASS 1980 - Days of Future Fass - Page 1.

For the final time this term!

The FASS Theatre Company of the University of Waterloo gregariously presents, foryour amusement and rehabilitation, its eighteenth annual musical comedy:

Days of Future FASSdirected by

Jim Gardner

February 6, 7, 8, 9, 1980

"I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey..."-Rod Stirring

This audience will be recorded in front of a live show.

Warning: This show meets and exceeds the CRTC ruling regarding Canadian content;however, except for Act II, Scene 2, Line 32, it is only available in English, or areasonable approximation thereto.

Caveat: The characters and events portrayed in this show are purely ficticious, andbear no resemblance to real people or places whether living or dead, no matter howhard we tried to make them so. In particular, the Arts Library does not represent theArts Library, the ELP is not the English Language Proficiency Program, a BIU is nota Basic Income Unit, and the PRG are not the University custodians.

Intermissions: There will be an intermission after the play which will last as long asyou want it to. There might be one during the play if the stage manager remembersit. If there is, we must ask that you not throw peanuts at the actors.

Notice: You can't smoke in the theatre or gallery because the fire marshal doesn'twant to be responsible if you get lung cancer. You can't eat or drink refreshments inthe theatre or gallery because the theatre management does not want to contribute toanyone's obesity. You won't be allowed to use cameras during the performancebecause it might frighten the gerbils. You can't use your tape recorder either; thescript is copyrighted by the people we stole it from. Thank you for observing theserules. Violators will be dressed as bananas and fed to H. Mungus Ape.

University of Waterloo

Rating: This show has been refused an R rating by the censors (maybe they haven'tseen it yet), and is currently rated I: for immature audiences only.

FASS 1980 - Days of Future Fass - Page 2.

The FASS Company

We are Faculty, Administration, Staff, and Students, and this year there are over ahundred of us. Last year, many of us sat right where you are tonight and wonderedhow we could become part of an annual musical comedy, now in its eighteenth year,poking fun at life here at UW. We heard that FASS was a collection of fun-lovingamateur acting and backstage persons specializing in creating new friendships whilewriting and staging a farcical, dramatic, satiric, musical comedy the first week of everyFebruary.

Now it is our turn to invite you to join us! We are an independent, self-supportinggroup; profits from ticket sales finance next February's show as well as providingequipment for the Theatres. Becoming part of FASS is as easy as attending the annualgeneral meeting in September, or auditions in January, or scriptwriter meetingsanytime! Watch for FASS posters!!

Script Writers

We would like to thank the Psychology Early Childhood Education Clinic for lettingthe following children write our script:

Janet Acton

Kim Adkins Ian! AllenPeter Carette Ron Dragushan Jim Gardner

Alan Goodenough

Preston Gurd Tom HocaliukSteve Hull

Ken Lynch Rick MaynesGuy Middleton

Scott Nicoll Bernie RoehlJoe Supple

The following people were seen at writer's meetings:

Pat Anderson, John Anderson, Bill Bradley, Ray Butterworth, Valerie Carr, IanChaprin, Madeline Clin, Wayne Cooper, Chris Dobbin, Roger Duncan, Ken Dykes,Bob Farvolden, Richard Gallant, Jan Gray, Denis Grey, Mike Grey, John Gross, IanHopper, Joan Ireland, Philip Kelly, Neil Kennedy, J.J. Long, Andrew Malton, BrianMartin, Daphne McCulloch, Ken O'Neill, Ashok Patel, Prabhakar Ragde, LynnasRobinson, Mike Sargent, Geoff Scully, Eric Siegerman, Gaile Simmons, Anne Smith,Tom Stevenson, Gillian Teichert, Betsy Wimbs, Eva Witkowski, Andrew Zador.

The Name of the Show

The title for this year's show was hesitantly chosen from a list compiled by thescriptwriters. Here's the part of the list we're allowed to print:

Fassing the Buck

Fass ForwardYour Ace and My Fass I See No Fass HereThe Empire Strikes Fass

Fass Goes the Weasel

Fass Eddie

The Fass is Always GreenerBambi Vs. Fass

The Incredible FassThe Fass that Stole Christmas

Through a Fass Darkly

The Fass Menagerie

Through the Looking FassFass; A Modern Tragedy

The Monster Fass

Fass Nineteen Seventy Ten A Child's Garden of Fass

FASS 1980 - Days of Future Fass - Page

ACT I

I:1 Queueing Me Softly

Rod Stirring Ira NaymanFlora Polish Joy A. FentonJay Cloth Neil KennedyWalter Wall Carpet Andrew MaltonAdministrator Noah Vail Paul Saunders

1:2 Science Fiction Double - Entendre

Kim Adkins Laurie Duquette

Samm RistichIan! Allen

Roy GilpinJoy A. Fenton

Patricia AndersonRon Dragushan

John GrossAlan Goodenough Donna ReedClaudette Gagnon

Diane MitchellBrad Templeton

John Sullivan

Kevin ThomsonJoe Supple

1:3 A Motive for Amnesia

Ms. Birdie Numnums Joy A. FentonCustodian Elmer Glockenspiel Walter DyckPresident Sinclair Sincere Ken WatsonErnest Earnest Mischa SandbergProfessor Lance Lactic Ian! AllenDean Eugene Sardirty Ian MacNeilDean Constance Interruption Marie OrysenDean Jerry Atric Joe SuppleDean Pat Answer Francie J. NewberryAdministrator Noah Vail Paul Saunders

1:4 Close Encounters with Little Green Men

PRG Computer Ron DragushanDave 2001 Chuck PeerenCharlie Horse Roger DuncanBill E. Club's voice Glenn St-GermainWillie Dewitt Donna ReedJessie Will Patricia AndersonMay B. Knott Marnie ShawDennigan U. Neverno Diane Mitchell

Sharon SharalikeLois BidderHailey Phillips Professor Lance Lactic Smedley Merkin Tilde Winks Fanny C. Cometrue Bob N. Frapples Ken U. Diggit Al Hansondek Announcer With MegaphoneShirley U. Jest Perry DogHarley Hurtsatall Llewelyn UffaloneFood Singers

Preston GurdKathy Kropp

FASS 1980 - Days of Future Fass - Page 4.

continued...

Sophocles David SpenceEuripides Roberta CarterAristophanes Robert A. HolmesAbsurdities Ian ChaprinMorris David WelbournPRG Custodians

Richard Kular Walter Dyck Kevin Thomson

1:5 An Association of Intrepid AstroNuts

Roger Wilco Richard LeBerMona Nucleosis Barbara McMullenPolly Syllabic Eva WitkowskiEddie Match Brian MartinLucy Diammulski Linda CarsonChester Field Les KlajnscekCy Nusitis John McMullenSmedley Merkin Roy GilpinLois Bidder Laurie DuquetteMusic Ensemble Leader Preston Gurd

1:6 Things That Go Bump in the Disco

Vince Mathnews Mark WinnettDean Pat Answer Francie J. NewberryDean Constance Interruption Marie OrysenDean Eugene Sardirty Ian MacNeilDean Jerry Atric Joe SupplePresident Sinclair Sincere Ken WatsonAdministrator Noah Vail Paul SaundersProfessor Lance Lactic Ian! AllenHalley Philips Samm RistichSharon Sharalike Kim AdkinsLois Bidder Laurie DuquetteSmedley Merkin Roy GilpinSophocles David SpenceAristophanes Robert A. HolmesEuripides Roberta CarterAbsurdities Ian ChaprinCount Off Guy MiddletonEmile Initself Dave GrahamJoan Of Arc-Welding Claudette GagnonOtto Mechanic Jerry A. SokolJoy Totheworld Louise LoveSamson Eydt Richard KularGail Force Donna ReedRoger Wilco Richard LeBerMona Nucleosis Barbara McMullenPolly Syllabic Eva WitkowskiChester Field Les KlajnscekEddie Match Brian MartinCy Nusitis John McMullenLucy Diamondski Linda Carson

FASS 1980 - Days of Future Fass - Page 5.

Intermission

If we do remember to have an intermission, this is where it should be. If youabsolutely have to leave the theatre before this time, please raise your hand so that ourspotlight operator can pick you out more easily.

(p.s. We know where you're going...)

You may now use the rest of this page for doodling during the intermission, if thereis one. If there isn't, something drastic has happened and you likely won't care, nowwill you?

ACT II

II:0 Musical Interlude

Banjo Player Mike AdelbergGuitar Player Perry Domzella

II:1 A Touch of Class

Professor Lance Lactic Ian! AllenPresident Sinclair Sincere Ken WatsonLois Bidder Laurie DuquetteSharon Sharalike Kim AdkinsSmedley Merkin Roy GilpinElla Fantstrunk Sharolyn LeeJoe SFX Peter CaretteMorley Reprehensible Brad TempletonOral Hygiene Chris DobbinSheilah Me-yah-yah-yah Maggie VaradiNatalie Attired Janet ActonChemical A-B Victim Claudette GagnonBasketball Players

Kevin Thomson John Sullivan

11:2 This Number No Longer in Service

Todd Hotty Preston GurdSue Zafone Gillian TeichertJerry Otzovdagods Bernie RoehlBjorn Tobewild David BrowmanPeter Out Andrew ZadorWendy Kowzcumhome Kathryn MorawetzOlivia Newton-Fig Patricia AndersonIona Chevy-Pickup Jocelyn RheaumeEd Cheese John AndersonLeif Lettuce Kevin ThomsonJill Bait Tracy Cunningham

FASS 1980 - Days of Future Fass - Page 6.

11:3 Where No Man Has Gone Before

Eddie Match Brian MartinChester Field Les KlajnscekBullmoose Harrison Lou BattistaSharon Sharalike Kim AdkinsPolly Syllabic Eva WitkowskiLucy Diamondski Linda CarsonRoger Wilco Richard LeBerMona Nucleosis Barbara McMullenGladys Friday Nancy RileyStan Still Andrew MaltonHugh Betcha John GrossJustin Thyme Steve HullHyperactive Towing Jerry A. SokolRetroactive Towing Dave GrahamBill E. Club Glenn St-GermainSmedley Merkin Roy Gilpin

11:4 Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me A Jokebook

Jerry Otzovdagods Bernie RoehlJill Bait Tracy CunninghamOlivia Newton fig Patricia AndersonBjorn Tobewild David BrowmanIona Chevy-Pickup Jocelyn RheaumeEd Cheese John AndersonWendy Kowzcumhome Kathryn MorawetzPeter Out Andrew ZadorLeif Lettuce Kevin ThomsonHailey Phillips Samm RistichGreasy Little Dwarf Kathy MclnarSophocles David SpenceEuripides Roberta CarterAristophanes Robert A. HolmesAbsurdities Ian ChaprinCy Nusitis John McMullenCookie Monster David WelbournBanjo Player Mike AdelbergGuitar Player Perry Domzella

Message from the President

-Does anyone want to be president next year? Please?"

FASS 1980 - Days of Future Fass - Page 7.

11:5 The Decline and Fall of the Roman Umpire

Jerry Otzovdagods Bernie RoehlJill Bait Tracy CunninghamLeif Lettuce Kevin ThomsonEd Cheese John AndersonIona Chevy-Pickup Jocelyn RheaumeOlivia Newton-fig Patricia AndersonPeter Out Andrew ZadorBjorn Tobewild David BrowmanWendy Kowzcumhome Kathryn MorawetzSophocles David SpenceEuripides Roberta CarterAristophanes Robert A. HolmesAbsurdities Ian ChaprinRoman Umpire Neil KennedyHoward Cosine Dave GrahamFelix Kathy KroppLotta Lust Louise LoveBanana Singers

Maggie Varadi Diane MitchellMarnie Shaw Claudette Gagnon

11:6 What Goes Up, Must Come Down

Richard O'Brien Jim GardnerSophocles David SpenceAristophanes Robert A. HolmesEuripides Roberta CarterAbsurdities Ian ChaprinMorris David WelbournFelix Kathy KroppDamocles Mischa SandbergJerry Otzovdagodz Bernie RoehlPeter Out Andrew ZadorOlivia Newton-fig Patricia AndersonEd Cheese John AndersonJill Bait Tracy CunninghamWendy Kowzcumhome Kathryn MorawetzBjorn Tobewild David Brow manIona Chevy-Pickup Jocelyn RheaumeLeif Lettuce Kevin ThomsonSmedley Merkin Roy GilpinLois Bidder Laurie DuquetteHalley Phillips Samm RistichSharon Sharalike Kim AdkinsBill E. Club Glenn St-GermainHyperactive Towing Jerry A. SokolCharlie Horse Roger DuncanPRG Computer Ron DragushanSue Zafone Gillian TeichertTodd Hotty Preston GurdSuetonius Sharolyn LeePetronius Mark WinnettLucilius Ian MacNeilRidiculus Les Klajnscek

FASS 1980 - Days of Future Fass - Page 8.

Music

Musical Director, Pianist Steve HullBanjo Mike (Bits) AdelbergGuitar Perry DomzellaDisco Group Baloney M.

Mike Hummel Peter Gatis Jerry SokolSteve Hull Engineer: Andrew A. Wedman

Piano and Vocal arrangements conceived by Steve Hull.

During the course of the show, varous members of the cast will attempt to sing thefollowing songs, or perish in the attempt:

Our Title

This is the FASS ShowUniversity BookstoreHey, FoodFood Services' FoodIn The GravyI Want To Be A SuperheroPlato's Retreat50 Ways To Screw The StudentsNeil Young Eat Your Hearth OutIntrepid AstrosSuperheroA SpaceshipPuff the Magic DiscoWIDJETI Forget With You MilkHey SueHI HOOver At The PRG PlaceNo Way, JoseTorn Between Two Tow-TrucksThe Banana Blitz SongThe Show So FarThe Bonzo Cat In The Hat Comes BackI Want To Be A Superhero (Reprise)Bye Bye EarthBye Bye FASS

What it should sound like

You are my SunshineWinchester CathedralHey, JudeFood, Glorious FoodIn The NavyJust an Old-Fashioned Love SongLollipop Guild50 Ways To Leave Your LoverHeart Of GoldJunior BirdmenRed Rubber BallAch Du Lieber AugustinePuff the Magic DragonA Bicycle Built for TwoThank You Very Much MilkOctopus's GardenHI HOOver At The Frankenstein PlaceScarborough FairTorn Between Two LoversThe Banana Splits SongScience Fiction Double FeatureThe Rain In SpainJust An Old-Fashioned Love SongBye Bye LoveBye Bye Love

Words from the Top

Message from the Director:

"Now, if you'll just lie down on this couch... Interview? Oh, sorry, I thought you weresomeone else."

Message from the Head Scriptwriter:

"What?! How did you find me in here?!"

Message from the Treasurer:

"This is Mr. Hocaliuk's answering service. Mr. Hocaliuk's wife just had a baby..."

Message from the Producer:

"...I'm sorry, the number you have dialled is no longer in service..."

FASS 1980 — Days of Future Fass — Page 9.

The FASS Committee

President Preston GurdVice-President Peter CaretteSecretary Janet ActonTreasurer Tom Hocaliuk

Director Jim GardnerProducer Ron DragushanHead Scriptwriter Ian! AllenTechnical Directors John Primeau, Scott Nicoll

Faculty Rep Phil EastmanAdministration Rep Bob FarvoldenStaff Rep Richard KularStudent Rep Gillian Teichert

Past President Mike GreyPast Director Nelson DyckPast Producer Mark WinnettPast Scriptwriters Oscar Nierstrasz, Bernie RoehlPast Technical Director Ken Lynch

Honourary Member Doug Crichton

Special Thanks

Many people have offered invaluable assistance with our production. The followingdeserve special mention:

0 Marion Murie, Dick Bechtel, and David Bartholomew (Graphic Services) forpatience and help with our last-minute printing; 0 Betty Adare and Paddy Lounsbury(Box Office) for their timely advice; 0 Earl Stieler (UW Theatres) for his continuingsupport and artistic eye: 0 Chris Redmond (Gazette) for printing our picture; 0 MarkD'Gabriel (Imprint) and Alex Kordics (UW Theatres) for their typesetting and layoutskills; 0 Tom Hocaliuk and Dave Spence for organizing and promoting ticket sales;0 Alan Goodenough for organizing the T-shirts; 0 Andrew Zador, Scott Nicoll, andIan! Allen for the posters and graphics; 0Jamiesons Bicycle Shop for the tricycles;0 Mike Adelberg for their conversion to tow-trikes; 0 the Math Faculty ComputingFacility (MFCF) for the use of their computer to edit the script; 0 All the volunteerushers; and 0 Eric Siegerman, Ken Dykes, and Ian! Allen for assembling andtypesetting the programme.

We would also like to thank the stage crew, led by John Primeau, Scott Nicoll, PeterCarette, and Alex Kordics, for one of the finest collections of sets, props, and technicaleffects that FASS has ever seen!

Technical Directors

Scott Nicoll

Stage Manager

Ken Lynch

—Ron Dragushan, producer.

Technical and Stage Wizards

John Primeau

FASS 1980 - Days of Future Fass - Page 10.

continued...

Assistant Stage Managers

Ray Butterworth Carol Wood

Lighting

Peter Carette (design) Eric Siegerman (booth)Doug Wigle David Spence

SoundDave George (booth) Cameron McDonald Andrew Wedman

Special EffectsPeter (Boom-Boom) Carette Cameron McDonald

Makeup ArtistMaria Rodrigues

Makeup Assistants

Janet Acton Pat AndersonHolly Hawthorne Gaile Simmons

Artwork

Earl Stieler Elisabeth Fraser Kathryn Morawetz

RunnerMike Grey

GripsLee Acton Alan Bowler Carolyn DollElisabeth Fraser Scott Harrison Dave KellyLeon Magdzinsky Don Sinclair

Costumes

Janet Acton Tamara Allison Noreen ChuChris Dobbin Louise Love Kathy MolnarCathy Oakley Sue Sondheimer Maggie VaradiKay Weber Carol Wood

Property MasterAshok Patel

Sets and Props

Lee Acton Mike Adelberg Alan BowlerRay Butterworth Peter Carette Dave DennisChris Dobbin Nelson Dyck Cindy EvansValerie E. Fleming Elisabeth Fraser Peter FraserPaul Guy Scott Harrison Alex KordicsRichard Jackson Richard Kular Louise LoveKen Lynch Kevin P. Martin Barry PekilisDon Sinclair John VanHezewyk Maggie VaradiDoug Wigle

Special Thanks

Tricia Knight Mike Arsenault

Extra special thanks to Pete and Alex, without whom technical production would havebeen grim. We'd also like to thank Earl Stieler for allowing Pete and Alex to pursuetheir hobbies!