CHAPTER 4

Under Siege

December 15, 2009. Steve left at five in the morning heading to the airport to visit his 14-year-old son Christian in Portland, Oregon for one week. During this time, the entire government of the Philippines and the media had condemned my entire family and me. More than that, they have proclaimed my son Jason Ivler guilty for a crime he didn’t commit, declared guilty before any trial.

He sent me text messages saying:

“Stay well. Take care. Take care of our Maya. Love, red Phoenix.”

“At our airport coffee shop. Got through immigration though not without puzzled looks and long screen checking. What it is to be famous.”

Some weeks ago, when Steve left to go to work in Australia and the Pacific Islands, the Philippine Immigration people held him. They actually tried to prevent him from leaving. Fortunately, his job as a Principal Economist with the Asian Development Bank provides him a certain diplomatic status that overrules the jurisdiction of Philippine Immigration. So he was eventually able to leave the country.

This is all because of the same tragic incident, supposedly involving Jason, which also, supposedly implicates a Honda CRV that is registered under Steve’s name. Due to this insinuation, Steve’s name and photograph made the headlines of all the newspapers in the Philippines. A few of my closest friends were shocked, thinking that Steve could be directly involved in the tragedy as had been purposely implicated by the media. During this time, my cell phone rang perpetually, friends and family called, worried.

My poor mother, brave as ever, called me on my landline. She is 75 years old, and her spirit has never failed her. Someday, when I’m writing fiction novels, I will write about my mother’s unbelievable courage. I feel very blessed that amazing parents, who were both exceptional warriors, raised me.

“I will fight to the death to protect those I love,” she said to me on the phone. “I’m not afraid to die!” she added weeping.

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Let’s go back to Steve and analyze the events that have occurred in my life since July 2007. Do you remember in Warriors of Heaven when I wrote that in the beginning of my surveillance, I feared that “they” were after Steve? And that he began receiving strange emails threatening our relationship? In my first book, I wrote that if “something were to happen to Steve, for example in the event he got hit by a truck driving to work one day, and of course, I wouldn’t be able to prove foul play, I stated that I would go back and continue my affair with Howard Marks.”

Let me tell you that Howard was public enemy number-one for America. I also told you that as soon as I finish writing a chapter, I would send it to all the major characters in my books. So, after I sent out that particular chapter to all the principal characters, the unfriendly emails to Steve stopped at once. Imagine that. Clearly, they don’t want me to end up with Howard Marks. That would then send me to Europe, and away from my beloved Philippines. I believe they want me to stay.

Let’s look at this “game” even closer, this global game of chess, using real people. When I first realized they were after Steve, I freaked. I panicked because this reminded me of my painful past. My first husband, Dr. Robert Ivler, was found dead sitting in a chair in a hotel room in Bangkok on his way to Manila, where Jason and I awaited his arrival at my brother Freddie’s home. Jason was two and half years old. We had decided to spend Christmas with my family that year. My husband, Jason’s father, never arrived. I believe that Marcus ordered his death.

Before I proceed, I would like to state that over the years I told everyone that my husband died of a car accident. This is because I didn’t want to discuss the true nature of his death. He did have a car accident, in Massachusetts in the US, before he left for Bangkok. He left the US suffering from internal bleeding. Whoever killed him quite probably knew this but just wanted to make sure he didn’t make it to the Philippines alive. From what I have experienced in Marcus’ world, in certain circumstances two assassins are contracted. In case the first mercenary fails, the second is sent to ensure that the job is done.

So, after Robert died, I continued my relationship with Marcus. That was the plan. He wanted me to go back to him, become his lover again and work with him. I suppose he figured I would react in the same manner this time if Steve were to perish. However, I was only 23 years old when my first husband passed away. So much has changed since then. As Marcus told me in the mid 90s, “I was trained by the best, but I have outdone my master.”

Do you follow what I’m trying to tell you? Over two years ago when their surveillance on me began again, I believe Steve was the first person they wanted out

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of the way. This would weaken me. This would have brought the world of Marcus closer to me, as before. I went back to my mentor after my first husband died. Therefore, I thought of Howard Marks. I thought because of Howard’s fame and interesting connections in Europe, he had some protection and would make a good anchor. Not true. Later on, without my knowledge, I got him into trouble. They took him out of the way. On top of that, I feel terrible that I’ve endangered him. What is their message to me? The message is, “You can’t run to Howard Marks. He can’t protect you.”

Then there is Caesar, a confidante, a Special Forces commander, someone I speak to often, and someone I can be open and honest with. In the beginning, I also thought he was someone who could protect me. Not true. One day, while in the middle of a war in the Middle East, all the email messages in his inbox disappeared. This was his army account I’m talking about, Federal property. This incident occurred after I had a terrible altercation with a god of war. We had a misunderstanding, probably my fault. However, the next day, Caesar was attacked.

This act not only endangered the commander but also endangered his men, the other soldiers within the Special Forces. What is the message here? The answer is, “We don’t care who gets hurt. Caesar can’t protect you!”

Paulie, why did they take my dear friend Paulie for so many hours? The reason is they wanted to inflict fear. He is my tarot reader, my spiritual adviser. He frequents my home. Therefore, he knows so much about my life, past, present and future. Plus, “they” know that whatever they told him that evening, he would repeat it to me, word-for-word. Thus, in Chapter one of Warriors of Heaven Gabriel confirmed that this act was “a clear message to me. It has to do with the trail down the path.” Did they get information from my Buddhist oracle that night? I’m sure they did. I’ve always told him never to hold back any information if such an incident were to occur.

“Do not lie to them,” I have warned him. “When they ask you a question, believe me, they already know the answer.

It is best not to lie. I haven’t told you anything about my life that you have to hide from these people."

Since December of 2007, I have not heard a word from Marcus. I wonder why he’s staying away.

Look at the story so far, Steve, Howard, the Special Forces commander, Paulie and Marcus were all targeted.

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My bodyguard Mark Hauser was also taken by the “Americans” and harassed. Two weeks before the launching of Warriors of Heaven. Moreover, earlier this year, some US federal agents took a friend of mine who’s a journalist when she landed in Japan from Manila. She was on her way to America. They sent her back to the Philippines and refused to allow her entry to the U.S. despite the fact that her passport had been recently stamped with a ten-year visa. She believed the incident was related to her association with me. What is the message here? “We can do whatever we want to whomsoever we please!”

Who’s left? Jason. This is the most painful act, the greatest price. He was accused of murdering someone in public a few days before the release of Warriors of Heaven. The first time “they” set him up, while he was in Ranger Battalion, was for another crime he didn’t commit, a crime that could have imprisoned him for 25 years. Since the legal procedures were held within the confines of the military, “they” owned him completely. They interrogated him and held him under security for three months, until that day, when he threatened to commit suicide. I discussed this in Chapter four of Warriors of Heaven. They decided they didn’t want him dead in their camp, so they let him go.

It’s amazing; I don’t think even Bin Laden got that kind of VIP treatment in the beginning of his career. On the contrary, did you know that at the time of 9/11 the United States government was funding Al-Qaeda and the Taliban’s operations? In addition, the President of the US was intimately involved with the families of Bin Laden and the rulers of Saudi Arabia. Bush was so involved with the Bin Laden family that the US government arranged for some family members to be flown out of the USA immediately after the 9/11 attacks.

After the recent tragedy in the Philippines supposedly implicating my son, every member of my household had been threatened including every single member of my family. On top of that I received numerous death threats in cyberspace. And the attention given to Steve by the media is a very clear message to him from them. “Get out of the way. You will not be able to handle where Marlene is going.”

Even my poor seven-year-old daughter Maya has been under threat. Fortunately, she cannot fully understand the reality of the danger we have been in. Be that as it may she will know someday, which is why I type these words now. I want her to gain courage from all of this. This is because I know that wherever her path leads her, very few people will ever go.

As I mentioned earlier after a SWAT team raided my home, Steve left for Australia and the Pacific Islands. I decided then that Maya and I should sleep together in my room. I told all my household staff that none of them were allowed to sleep in the

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house. They have separate quarters outside our home. I instructed them that this sleeping arrangement would be followed until the day I felt we were safe again. In the evening, I lock Maya and myself into our quarters. There are two bolted doors that protect us. I have removed all my household staff to keep them away from harm.

Why have I behaved in this manner? Because I am concerned that matters have now gotten so out of hand. I now fear for my daughter’s safety.

Marcus always told me, “Shoot anything that moves. It will be over very fast.”

Therefore, if we were attacked, I would have to put my daughter in a safe place. What is my choice but to kill anything that moves, knowing that my staff is out of the house and not in the way?

“They” have finally succeeded in attacking the very core of my home and my sanctuary. I am now so detached, I can’t even cry. What is left? They have threatened everyone around me. As the oracles foretold two years ago, “I will stand alone."

After all what has been accomplished? They have succeeded in showing me how amazingly powerful they are. However, although “they” can threaten and kill every single person I love or care for, have they weakened my mind or spirit? NO. Never! Heaven bestowed upon me an invincible will. Heaven gave me the greatest weapon, and that is my mind and my spirit. After all the obstacles, all the pain, all the dangers my family and I have endured over the past two years, my mind and spirit have only gotten sharper and stronger. I am as fearless and as defiant today as ever.

The words I am about to write, I write first and foremost for the people of the Philippines. However, I’m sure that Filipinos are not the only oppressed people in the world. There are countless oppressed people on our earth. Hear my words.

When I was a child, I grew up with a passionate and loving father who also beat me constantly, inflicting unbearable pain upon my fragile body from the age of three. He also battered those I love, my siblings. To witness the suffering of those I love, was far worse than taking the beating myself. I don’t know why I am like this. Maybe because the physical torture I suffered at a young age was so intense, there was no other choice for me but to strengthen my spirit and increase my threshold of pain. Maybe this is how heaven forged me.

Considering I was so small and weak, did my father win our battles? NO! Size has nothing to do with it. My father was a giant. I was a little girl. Yet he could never touch my mind and spirit. And while beating me, I defied him every single step of the way, all the way.

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I look back now at my painful childhood years, and I smile. I smile at my father in the afterlife, feeling his spirit surrounding me now in this matrix. He feared my spirit, and I knew it. Inside me as a little girl, he saw my essence on fire, fire he could never temper. And the more he attacked it, the stronger the flames grew, wild and wicked, sneering at him contemptuously from the very center of my being.

Therefore, I look back now and I warm to my father. He and I were one and the same. As I type these words, I am able to see better my relationship with his soul. Although, he caused me great pain, believe me when I tell you that my wrath is also immense. In return for his bad behavior, I retaliated so fiercely against him, making sure that I broke his heart every time he struck me.

With the biggest smile on my face, I hereby state that my father played his role in this matrix perfectly well. He forged me into the warrior of heaven I am today. For this reason, I am eternally grateful to him for all that we shared together in this life, for all the love and the hate, the screaming and the arguments, the joy and the tears and everything else in between. Our souls dance in perfect unison through heaven and hell, entwined always and forever.

My relationship with Gabriel reminds me of my relationship with my father. In this regard, I see the devil on earth as my mentor as well.

My dear readers let me tell you this. My relationship with my father is the same relationship the Philippines has with America. The soul of our country is entwined with that of America. Believe me, as my soul is entwined with some very powerful and dangerous men, the soul of our beautiful nation is also bonded with that of America. This was the grand scheme of heaven since time began.

America represents the father figure of the Philippines. We are small. They are big. America will exploit our natural resources. America will oppress us, and abuse us, but it doesn’t mean America wins the battle. Not if we realize how resilient and strong we are in mind and spirit, and we are. Remember that. Tell our children that. Ingrain this deep into their hearts. We can win this. Together, the possibility of a golden world is there within our reach.

Our people have survived oppression and colonization by Spain and then America for over four hundred years. This has been sustained up until the present day with the continuing oppression and exploitation that we suffer, courtesy of the leaders of our very own institutions, the “respectable” politicians, the officials supposedly serving our government, who serve themselves. Despite all that pain, look at us. We remain some of the happiest people on earth despite the evil leadership of the

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institutions that reign over our people and our nation. What makes the Filipinos some of the most beautiful people in the world? Filipinos smile with the most open of hearts. Moreover, my people have the most exceptional ability to laugh at tragedy and disaster. This is our way of saying, “Pain will not win our hearts.” This behavior is something so alien to folks from the west. That is the true spirit of the Filipino people. Our souls are rich. And so America will never be able to break our spirits. Armed with the greatest armor from heaven, America will never be able to subjugate our minds, our hearts and our spirit. NEVER!

America will not let go of their control over the Philippines. That’s a fact. We must accept that and learn to live with it, at least, for the time being. We should not be unhappy that they are here. Let us learn to make peace with evil. Let us learn to live with the truth, the truth that the US government and the Philippine government share a common bed.

Our minds and our spirits are the greatest armor, armor that will protect us against anything that will come our way. The world is fusing and changing very fast. It is spinning to new dimensions, and we must be ready. Therefore, let us teach our children to be strong in mind and spirit. Teach them to be proud of their native tongues, teach them to be proud of our beautiful and noble Filipino art and culture. That will nurture their spirits, forging them, stronger and more capable of handling this life. Teach them that our land and seas are the wealthiest in the world. We are so favored by the gods. Teach our children the truth. Feed their souls. Make them proud.

I sit in front of my computer, pausing now, my head spinning for a moment, reliving in my memory some of the events that have occurred over the past two years. Suddenly, I thought of Wes. I wonder now if something has happened to him. Early in December, he emailed me saying he would be out of touch for about a week. Two weeks have passed, and I haven’t heard from him. God, I hope they don’t also hurt him.

In the meantime, I received Caesar’s comments on Chapter Two this morning. He stated:

“It is very well written. I see many agree with me that your ability to tie many aspects together; i.e. politics, economy, religion, etc. will definitely stir up interest. I also find it amusing where the person called me enigmatic because of my one-paragraph responses to your long discourses. Does she not realize that I am being safe knowing that this medium is monitored?”

“The person who commented on you realizes the reason for your short comments. And she does admire Caesar,” I replied to him.

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Regarding the sex essay, Lilith and the Beast, the commander wrote, “I enjoyed it more than you can imagine.”

I sent the same essay to Gabriel too, but the devil on earth is keeping his silence again. However, I’m sure he thinks that the Beast with Lilith in the story was inspired by his demonic existence.

Here is Becca commenting on how I see the ‘future of the Philippines” in Chapter Two. I received this email from her yesterday.

“Sister,

You have divinely put it...I feel the depth of your pain through your words. Deo and I think you should publish this article sooner so our people may find wisdom in your words. May God have mercy upon us all.

I love you infinitely.

Bex”

“How did you know about all this? Who informed you regarding the future of the Philippines?” Becca asked when she came to my home.

“About the dictatorship?”

“Yeaaahh…”

“No one informed me.

“Really? Don’t you think your Caesar or Gabriel must wonder who leaked the information to you?”

“That’s ridiculous. It’s common sense. I read history. In order to progress, all nations must go through dictatorship or a revolution. How else do you purge the bloody vultures that comprise the Philippine government? You can only cleanse an evil system like that through a civil war or a dictatorship. I wish the Philippines would have both.”

“But we already had a dictatorship under Marcos.”

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“Marcos’ dictatorship failed because it went against the Brotherhood. I believe that somebody within Marcos’ camp wanted to sever ties with the U.S. I believe that man was the author of Martial Law himself, former defense secretary Juan Ponce Enrile. He wanted to become another Fidel Castro. They thought they could pull it through because at the time the Philippine Armed Forces were united and strong. All the same, America will never let that happen.

In the beginning, the CIA supported Marcos, but later they brought him down.”

“How do you know all this?”

“Because I know that the CIA assisted in the assassinations of Marcos’ enemies, at the time when their ‘marriage’ was working out. I saw their hit list when I was a teenager. But later on, the CIA funded the opposition. This shouldn’t surprise anyone. It’s what they do. It is exactly what they did in Chile, Ecuador, Nicaragua, Panama, and many more countries. And it was what the CIA was about to do in Venezuela before Iraq got in the way. It’s the way of the world. It really has nothing to do with right or wrong. It is survival of the fittest.

For example, during the rallies, the time prior to the EDSA people power revolution in the mid 80s, my brother Freddie openly protested against Marcos through his music. So, during the demonstrations opposing the government, my brother was hired for concerts singing anti-Marcos songs. And there he denounced Marcos’ dictatorship. Well, who do you think funded those shows? Freddie didn’t know it. To this very day, he still doesn’t know. But the CIA paid for those shows.”

Here ends my discussion with Becca.

My book, Warriors of Heaven, has been available for public consumption now for two months, and I am beginning to get feedback from my readers.

Here is my email to Caesar on the evening of December 15, 2009.

“I have a nephew, Jeriko, who is a well-known guitarist here, especially among college students. He told me that my Warriors of Heaven is becoming famous amongst his peers. "Is it true Marlene Aguilar is your aunt?" They would ask him. "I read her book, awesome. Tell her she's my idol."

Recently, he went to see his female friends at Ateneo University, the top school outside of the University of the Philippines. When the girls saw him, and while waving their right fists in the air, they started to chant, "Anarchy! Anarchy!" These are the kids who have read Warriors of Heaven.

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To me, this is the highest compliment. I'm going to change the future for the younger generation. I'm going to help set their minds and spirits free. The oracles' words are coming true. They say that this is the reason I was born. They say I will free people from darkness.”

The Austronesian-looking Special Forces commander replied, “Was there any doubt in your mind that you would do just that? I had no doubts!”

I wrote my books bearing in mind that the younger generation was my audience. I also realize that so many of these college students cannot afford to purchase my book. My distributor, Gwen Galvez of Anvil Publishing House, spoke to me recently and asked me to publish Warriors of Heaven in paperback to provide a cheaper version for my readers. Instead of doing that, I decided it was better to post all the chapters of my books on my website. This way anyone can just download the chapters for free.

Meanwhile, the manhunt for Jason Ivler continued.

On Wednesday, December 15, 2009, the Philippine National Police raided my home. They were heavily armed. According to one of the security guards posted at the gate of Blue Ridge village, he counted a total of 40 vehicles, half of which were driven by the police and half by the media.

The police had a warrant of arrest for my son Jason. This warrant did not allow them entry into my home. And yet, without my knowledge, I found several cops suddenly standing in my receiving room, heavily armed. Their team leader was a Colonel Audie Arroyo, who seemed like a fair man. A younger policeman named Major John accompanied him. There was also an inspector with them in civilian clothing. Fortunately, my neighbor and the Barangay Captain of our village arrived in my home to stand as “witness." Villages send representatives in situations like this because sadly, the authorities in uniform are known to be abusive.

“It’s not necessary to parade those big arms in my home,” I told the Colonel. “It’s just me and my daughter here and my household staff. I understand that your warrant of arrest doesn’t legally allow you to search my home. Nonetheless, I am willing to take your hand and tour you around my house. But can you please ask your heavily armed men to leave?”

The Colonel heeded my request. So I showed them the house, room after room, after room. I felt that the Colonel and Major John behaved properly and according to the circumstances. However, at one point while we were in my bedroom talking, the

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inspector suddenly disappeared out of my sight. I don’t know if that action came with the permission of the Colonel. However, unknown to me, the inspector charged into my daughter Maya’s room next door without permission. Considering they had no search warrant, considering I was being more than cooperative, I thought the behavior of this officer was totally unacceptable in any civilized society.

Earlier on, I had instructed Marj Amla, Maya’s tutor who in an event like this, if the police came, I wanted Maya in her room away from these armed men. According to Marj, the inspector barged into my daughter’s room, went straight into the bathroom where he found my poor daughter quietly taking a bath. How sad the world is. How sad that some of these men behave like pigs. Maya, whose gift of sight is stronger than mine, senses the spirits of men. So, now she calls the Filipino policemen, the “bad men." This is because Marj told her that the stranger who trespassed into her room was a policeman.

“A bad man came into my room Mommy,” she told me. “Why are bad men coming into our home now?”

“Because you have to learn that there is evil in this world. I tried to explain these things to you before, but you couldn’t understand me then. This is heaven’s way of teaching you what evil is, so you will learn to understand it and deal with it.

There are evil men out there, and they will want to harm you. I told you this. This is why I want you to learn Martial arts. I need you to learn how to defend yourself. Before you go to college, I want you to take a year off. I will send you to a special school in China. There you will learn pure Martial arts before it was tainted by western civilization. And there you will learn to speak Chinese.

I need you to learn how to fight well. That’s what my father taught me. He told me how painful life could be, and he wanted me prepared. ‘If there are too many of them,’ he explained. ‘When you know you’re outnumbered, fight to the death. Take ten of the enemies with you to your grave. Do not surrender – die fighting.’ This is what my father said to me when I was a little girl like you. And now I am telling you the same. I need you to understand that this is the way of the world.

Where your destiny will take you, no man - no mortal man will ever go. The gifts heaven bestowed upon you are stronger than mine. Use it and never be afraid of your gifts. Do not fear. The forces of lightness and blackness are both our allies. Even death is our ally. You will accept your death like the true daughter of heaven that you are,” I explained to my seven-year-old daughter in tears, while I knelt before her.

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Maya gazed into my eyes like a little priestess, using her very old soul to peer into mine, absorbing all that I am here and beyond. She stood before me quietly, her spirit so intense and ever so brave holding my hand. She held on to every single word I uttered. She looked concerned, but she had no fear within her. This is because she sensed no fear within me. And in that single moment, our energies fused in heaven and on earth. We are one and the same.

That evening I wrote an email to Gabriel whose allegiance I believe belongs to the imperious Brotherhood of men who rule the US killing machine. I have had it with this game of chess using muscle power. It reminds me of the male idiots I see in the gym with big muscles posing in front of the mirrors. They are impressive to watch at first, until you realize that they have no mind. Without the mind, let me say again, all else is futile.

Here is my email to this god of war.

“Listen carefully and read below what I've written with an open heart. Really, I'm serious. If you want to discuss this in person, I'm willing to come and see you. Except, I can't see you in the US, because I believe my green card is not working at the moment. So either you do something to fix it, or I meet you in Canada, or wherever you want.

How about I finish this last book I'm writing? Then I promise to be a good girl after that and behave myself. I will stop saying anything bad about the US killing machine, and America, and your brothers and so on.

I will even stop writing this book all together if you ask me to stop. But if I do stop, you must promise me that you and your clan will leave me alone. I am serious. I realize that no matter what I do or say, evil will go on and on and on. That's the way it is. It's the way of the world.

Today, I decided that you and your brothers win. I can't win this game of chess. Oil and water will never mix. I lose. You win. That should make you and your brothers feel really superior and good about yourselves. So, how about that?

I'm so sad right now. I never thought, I'd say these things. I mean, I thought we could somehow come to terms in the end, but I do not believe that is possible anymore. You have inflicted too much pain upon me and so much pain upon those I love as well. I really didn't think you could hurt me in this manner. But don't worry I have no hatred in my heart. I just see you in a different light now.

I can't win and no matter what you and your brothers do to me - I'm nobody's

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puppet. If that is what you and your brothers are looking for, then you have the wrong person.

You will never be able to make me your slave, even if you killed all those I love. I’m not Marcos, I’m not Cory Aquino, I’m not Fidel Ramos or Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. I’m not Obama either. I will never be anybody's whore. I would kill myself first, I swear to you. And I have no greed. You should have realized that by now.

I went to see the old oracles today. They said that I will end up marrying the "Devil," a bigger devil than you. They said that I will sit in a position of power, and that I will lead this nation. I will only do it if I believed I could ease the suffering of my people.

I'm laying down my cards. I will even stop the release of my second book, Tales of the Black Widow, if you ask me to do so, as long as you promise I can walk away in peace. I will leave the Philippines in eighteen months when Steve's contract is finished with ADB.

I will continue to write 'fiction' and maybe use another name.

I told you, I will only surrender to you. And I now surrender to you.

I give you my word. But please, speak out.

With you in spirit always,

Marlene”

After I sent out the email above, I wrote the following to Caesar.

“I woke up this morning sad in one way and happy at the same time. I'm smiling now. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. Last night, before I went to bed, I wrote to Gabriel.

I offered to stop the release of my next book, Black Widow. I also offered to stop writing book 3 of my autobiography. In return, I asked the devil on earth and his clan to leave me alone in peace. I will stop writing books denouncing America's warmongering all together. I see no other resolution. It’s been over two years, playing this game now. When will they realize they can’t turn me into a puppet like so many of the state leaders in the world they have placed into power? NO one, not even the entire US killing machine could make a puppet out of me. I would rather drink cyanide!

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I can't continue to live life under siege. I can't continue to see the people I love hurt on my behalf. That is wrong. The oracles say, "I will save mankind and the earth." I've come to the realization that I can't save mankind. Only mankind can save itself. Plus, if the Illuminati do not get to them first, the earth will kill mankind anyway. In addition, the earth doesn't need saving. She has the power to obliterate mankind completely, anytime, if she wills it. Ultimately, we have no power over the earth.

I don't believe that 'these' men who are after me could ever understand my mind because my mind goes beyond their understanding. So why continue? I'm not the enemy of America. I never was. No matter what I write or say, evil will continue to reign over mankind.

The oracles say that “I will lead this nation, and that it will be a conjugal leadership because America will rule with me..." I don't want it. There was a time when I thought I could make a difference, that it was possible to negotiate a better future for my people. But now that I understand better how 'these' men are, I realize it is futile. I have blackness, you know, great blackness inside me, but my heart is pure. However, how do I negotiate with men who have no heart? It isn't possible.

I will leave the Philippines and walk away to a quiet life. I will continue to write 'fiction', that's even easier for me to do. I've done so much in my life. I regret nothing. I have been so loved by those I've allowed close into my heart. And in that sense, I feel very fortunate. I couldn't ask for more. I have inner peace.

Now that I've said all this, I hope they will leave you alone too. It feels so wonderful to be saying all these things. It feels like death, another kind of death, but I'm happy to take it.  Right from the start you’ve been so loving and considerate. You've been so supportive with your kind words bringing joy and light into my life. These are the things that truly matter you know, the most basic and the simplest things are the greatest gifts. If only people could see that.

Be happy for me. I really dislike the limelight anyway. I hate all the false pretenses that go with it. Life is too short. I'm going to find a place by the mountain close to the sea, away from the petty existence of mankind. And there, I will put up a nice library, and I will write.

With all my love always,

Marlene”

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I forwarded the above emails to those closest to me.

Becca wrote me back and stated, “WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Huhuhuhuhuuuuuu!!!!Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Alwin replied, “Juice ko Ate! Pag usapan natin ito.” Translated in English, and this is not a literal translation because he used slang, “My god sister! Let’s talk about this.”

“I would be interested in what the response is, both on paper and in action,” wrote Caesar back.

In another email he wrote, ‘Interesting. I didn't receive your email in the message but as an attachment. Hmmm....” This is weird since I didn’t send him that particular email as an attachment.

“See, chink, I told you that you would end up writing novels somewhere quiet. I guess I am clairvoyant,” wrote Eric.

“That wasn’t surrender; you are negotiating, not surrendering. Plus, I don’t believe they will ever leave you alone. It’s not going to be easy to replace you,” stated Steve during our phone conversation today, December 19, 2009. “And I will gladly walk with you whenever, wherever,” he added.

I replied, “Where I’m going, I walk alone. Just take care of Maya. Tell her she had a brave mother.”

“There are too many of us who love you, too many of us who wouldn’t let you stand alone,” he stated.

“But I need you to stay safe for Maya. That’s what I need from you,” I told Steve. “I have accepted Jason’s death. However, I can’t accept yours. I need you for Maya’s sake.”

Gabriel didn’t respond to my plea, meaning the game goes on.

A few months ago the oracles predicted, “Soon, the local military men will start marching into your life. They, too, will learn to know you.”

Recently, I met with a high-ranking Filipino police official regarding my book Warriors of Heaven. I will call him Colonel Karr. This was after he sent me a text

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message saying that he had started to read my book and wanted to know more about America’s influence over the Philippines. I agreed to see him, and we spoke from four-thirty in the afternoon to six. During the whole conversation, we never discussed Jason’s “case."

He stated, “Your mind is not easy to understand. You have great depth. And few people will understand your book.”

At one point in our conversation, I told him that I was clairvoyant, and that I could see through him. When I said these words, I sensed his heart started beating faster. I’m sure he wondered how much I saw. People never want others to see through their darkness. This is what I told this service man.

“You suffered immense pain and betrayal as a child. This pushed you to detach and withdraw from your environment at a very tender age.

You are volatile. When you explode, you lose all control. There is black-out.

You are very emotional. You are also a very loving man. Be that as it may, you do not know how to express your love. Your family misunderstands you. Your children feel unloved by you. Not even your wife understands you. She also feels unloved by you.

You are very brave, unafraid to fight and die. You have a big heart, but your heart has been broken many times from the time you were a little boy. In addition, because you serve an evil institution, over the years you have witnessed the injustices of this institution. The same institution has not only been unjust to you and your family, but it has also been unjust to your men, and to your people. Although you are against this unjustness, you feel powerless to change things. Therefore, you’ve become numb like so many men in uniform.

Yet, deep inside your heart, there is hope. You remain hopeful that maybe someday, god will give you the chance to make a difference. In that sense, there is still a part inside you that wants to save the world.”

The man before me listened to me intently and heard every word I said with an open heart. Then, with the saddest look in his eyes, he softly uttered, “I wish you could talk to my wife so you could tell her all that…”

I do not fully understand why Colonel Karr requested to see me. However, I learned so much from my meeting with him. There is no accident in this life. There is only the inevitable. Through his eyes, I saw the spirits of the Filipino soldiers

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representing the Armed Forces of the Philippines. Through his energy, I absorbed the spirits of the entire police force in one sitting. I learned while talking to this officer that the police forces in the Philippines are unjust because the system is also unjust to them. I understand more and more the great power of evil that rules over my people. This is part of my education on earth. Thus, I went home happy that I had met this policeman.

However, late that night, I received a phone call from an old friend, an American, someone who knows Obama in person, another asset of the CIA. This man never calls me. Yet that evening, he called me four times.

He said, "I love you kid. You know that, but stop talking to the police. Your son is no longer your business."

Imagine that. So I am told my son is no longer my concern. I wonder whom this American spoke to before he made the phone calls to me. I also wonder whom the police officer spoke to after meeting with me. Why was this American upset? I didn’t discuss any information with the Filipino police official that I haven’t already included in my books. Plus, there is no way I will ever expose the true identities of the major characters in my novels. That should never be a concern. What have they done to my son?

I keep thinking of what Wes Penre wrote regarding the forces that rule the world, “…games within games, within games…”

I sent this portion of Chapter Three to Colonel Karr. After reading it, he wrote to me.

“You implied something about your kid Jason. I figured that would be your answer when I ask you directly about him. Thanks Marlene.

You guess my personality but knowing one's character needs more time and deeper thinking. "The peculiar striations that defines someone's personality are too numerous to know, no matter how close the observer. A person we think we know can suddenly become someone else when previously hidden strands of his character are called to the fore by circumstance." Elliot Perlman, Seven Types of Ambiguity.

By seeing the tip of the iceberg you get a rough estimate of how large the one that is submerged. But you'll get it more accurate when you dive deeper.”

Here was my answer:

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“There is only your outer-self and your inner-self. The outer-self is not as important to me as the inner-self. Your outer-self is directly linked to your environment. It is your inner-self that matters to me.

When I was a little girl, my father said, before you choose a friend, ask yourself this question. ‘Will you let that person stand by you on the firing line?’ If the answer is yes, then that's a good choice. I have seen and felt your inner-self when I met you. That is enough for me.”

Colonel Karr replied: “Same with me Marlene, our souls meet.”

In the meantime, the video recording showing me singing Love me Tender was uploaded on You Tube on December 18, 2009. This was taken from my first live show “Soul Sisters” at the Hobbit House on the 23rd of October where I performed with my beloved soul sister Rebecca Padilla. And this was all because one fine day, I decided to sing. After spending 30 one-hour sessions with my guitar player, Abe Hipolito, we did a live show. Until that time, I had never sung with the accompaniment of a guitar.

“Oh, no, no, Marlene has gone crazy again. She can’t get up on stage to sing in front of a hundred and fifty people just like that!” my mother declared. “I can’t go. I can’t watch. She’s going to give us all a heart attack!”

Almost every member of my family attended the show that evening with their fingers crossed. Please bear in mind that I come from a family of great artists representing some of the best musicians in Asia. My nephew JC Hipolito, who is an excellent guitar player, took a deep breath each time I finished singing a song saying, “She did okay with that one. Thank god.”

My brother Tony spoke to a bottle of rum by his right side while sitting at the bar as he watched me on stage. He whispered to the bottle of alcohol, “If Marlene screws up I will keep drinking all night, so I won't remember anything tomorrow.”

On December 18, 2009, I received this beautiful letter from one of my neighbors, which he sent to me via my Facebook account. Only the blessed people possessing free minds and spirits can write and express themselves openly in this manner. What a great gift from heaven to be free. I present his narrative to you, unedited. He wrote:

“Dear Ms. Marlene,

My name is Martin, and I am the son of Michael, ‘Mike’ Orosa. Today I find myself writing you, to thank you, because you have opened my eyes, mind and heart

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to so many things.

I have finished reading your recent book, "Warriors of Heaven" and I enjoyed reading it! Though I admit, I skimmed through some texts because I could not relate. The book is really meant for those who are open-minded, and it has personally helped me question the society I live in.

I was happy to read a book that tells people and Filipinos to look within themselves, to treasure and celebrate their identities, and free themselves from boxes.

I have always believed in the abilities of Filipinos. I have also questioned from time to time why the Americans seem to keep "helping" us. What for? And through your book some of my theories have been confirmed. It's nice to know others share the same views and are definitely NOT afraid to say what they feel. Because of this, I find myself respecting you. I only know you as my neighbor here in Blue Ridge, and as the friend of my Dad. However, after reading your book, I realized how strong of a woman you are, and now I find myself fantasizing that someday people would also see me to have strong convictions like you.

I personally enjoyed each mention of the prophecies and the seers, as this is something that I can relate to. I know that you are destined for something big in life, that you are meant to help us mature spiritually by reminding us of our humanity and what makes us WHOLE. I really admire your efforts, and I found myself praying to the great goddess Gaea to help and protect you. I wished to her that you fulfill this destiny of yours, to grant you strength to keep on going. One day, I know that Filipinos will see their true worth and the great power that lies within them. In addition, one day, and I hope I am alive to witness it Filipinos will awaken to that "Golden Age."

I feel a bit emotional writing to you. All I can say is that I wish you all the best, and for you to keep strong in all these trials you, and your family are facing now. I know that there will be people assisting you in this journey, and I am thankful that you will be making good use of this life incarnation.

I would like you to know that your book, Warriors of Heaven has done its part, at least for me. Your story has allowed me to look within myself for answers, and it has taught me not be afraid to be outside of the "box." I have lived a life of being "different" and it's very nice to know that someone assures me that being different and to think for myself, outside of the box is true evolution.

Again, thank you very much. I know that in the end, all your efforts will produce

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good results.

Thank you too for being friends with my Dad and Tita. I know you know that they care deeply for you and wish you all the best and safety always.

Sincerely,

Martin H. Orosa

P.S.

I find it funny (in the most respectful way) and wanted to share with you that my best friend Brian refers to you as a goddess. One time we walked past your house, and he told me he noticed the statue of Quan Yin in your front garden. He was so happy to see the image because he said you are most likely a goddess worshiper.

Brian loves strong women such as you, and we have deep respect for women who do not believe that men are superior and that women are subordinate to men, crap!!! So whenever we pass by your house, he tells me, "Oh, we're approaching the house of Goddess Marlene!!!" Ha ha ha!”

I replied,

“Dear Martin,

I am overwhelmed by the sincerity of your beautiful words. I'm in tears, not out of sadness but out of joy. I really don't know what to say, all the same, I thank you beyond words for taking the time to write to me.

I am so deeply happy that the book, Warriors of Heaven, brought light into your life. God, my family and I have been under siege for over two years because I am compelled to follow my fate. However, I have no regrets. And if I had to take a thousand bullets a thousand times to free my people from darkness and to free them from ignorance, I would do it with all my heart and soul.

I would like you to know that the chapters to the sequel to Warriors of Heaven, Tales of the Black Widow, are posted on my website if you wish to read them.

By the way, you're a very passionate writer.

Thank you again.

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With love and light,

Marlene

P. S. Tell Brian, I love the "Goddess" reference. Ha ha ha! “

"Ha Ha! Yes, I will surely tell him! He l-o-v-e-s your pictures, the ones he always sees on the tarp hanging on your gate. We especially like the one where you have a crown. I think it's a star. He likened you to the goddess Ishtar!” replied Martin.

I wrote Martin back and said.

“Cool. I love the goddess Ishtar of Babylon. Tell Brian to read "Creation" by Gore Vidal. You should read it too. Both of you would love it. Gore Vidal talks about the goddess Ishtar in this compelling novel.

Big kiss!

Tita M”

I forwarded Martin’s letter to Caesar and Alwin.

Alwin wrote me back and stated, “Mabuhay!  As expected, the book will help liberate people from their life in prison.”

“It is great that you touch so many people. I told you that you would have a phenomenal effect on others,” was Caesar’s response.

My discussion regarding Martin ends here.

I would like to take this time to tell you a little bit more about my personal life. Although, I grew up very poor in material possessions, I have found success in my endeavors and now live a very fabulous life. In short, I am very, very spoiled. I say this not only because I feel so deeply loved by so many people. So many, many Filipino artists whom I’ve worked with over the years love me. Moreover, I feel loved by my amazing friends and members of my family. And the special adoration I feel from my cosmic family, and my soul consorts is eternal. Most of all, I feel loved beyond words by my children and Steve, my partner of 11 years, here, now and always.

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There are other reasons I say, I’m spoiled. I will tell you some of the reasons why. Let me say that I’m surrounded by a crew of wonderful and loving staff, for which I am eternally grateful.

Since, I value “silence” terribly, only one of my staff is allowed to come and talk to me. All my employees have been instructed not to talk to me unless “they’re spoken to.” They don’t come to me for their concerns. One female staff is in charge of handling the concerns of all the employees regarding days off, sick leave and other matters. This female employee has an assistant, our bookkeeper who prepares all the checks for all the bills concerning household matters.

My house manager also supervises my household affairs under my command. This responsibility includes paying all my household bills, to which we are currently paying for the bills of three houses. This also includes management of my kitchen including, wine consumption, food for Maya, Steve and myself, as well as food for household staff. Then there is the laundry, the need to maintain the swimming pool, the garden, the cats, the dogs, birds, and more.

I keep live ornamental plants in all the rooms in my home as they do in hotels. These are replaced every other month. This member of my staff is also in charge of paying for car expenses, for insurance, gas and repairs, and the maintenance of house repairs, which includes plumbing, electrical, painting and other needs. Add to that payroll and supervision of my household employees, all ten of them, including Marjorie Amla, Maya’s live-in tutor. She also manages payment for two guitar players who perform with me twice a week at home so I can practice singing. In addition, I have three fitness trainers that I work out with in the gym six days a week. And I get my nails done every five days. How spoiled I am.

I don’t worry about petty concerns. For example when the cars need repair, I tell my secretary Mary Jean, “Don’t explain to me what is wrong. I don’t need to know. That’s just going to pollute my mind. It’s not important. Just tell me the cost and have Shiela prepare the check for me to sign.”

If ever there is car damage caused by an accident, I say, “I don’t care as long as no one is hurt. Accidents happen. It is the will of heaven.” I don’t wish to stress myself regarding mundane matters, which I can’t control. Plus who wants an accident? Nobody. We have two drivers who are both very conscientious and dedicated. I’m not going to be upset if the cars get dented for something they didn’t wish upon themselves. As I said, I have excellent and caring staff for which I am grateful every day.

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As far as food is concerned, we shop for fresh produce every time we cook. We don’t eat frozen, canned, or processed vegetables, meat or fish. The person in charge of the kitchen has been instructed to decorate the dining plates when food is served. This is one of the reasons why Maya and I grow herbs in the garden. We use them to decorate our food. On the rare times I have been served a meal with frozen meat or seafood at home, I have called my secretary and told her, “You were sold frozen produce. So, go back to that person and tell him not to do that again.” Needless to say, I return the meal with the frozen produce back to the kitchen. Because of my attitude toward food, Maya eats as I do. She eats the same food and in that sense, she eats a very healthy diet.

I never eat in restaurant chains, except for coffee shops, but those are not restaurants. You will find me eating only in a handful of establishments in the city of Manila. My favorite dining establishments are the Old Manila, located at Manila Peninsula Hotel in Makati City and the Fireplace, at the Hyatt Hotel in downtown Manila. I’m not easy to feed. My brother Tony says this is because I’m an excellent chef myself.

I have a personal aid that takes care of my personal needs at home making sure all are in order - from clothing, to make-up, jewelry, shoes, cell phones, etcetera. I do not handle my banking needs either. Someone does that for me. And each time I leave my home, my personal secretary makes sure I have all I need, cell phones, money, notebook, pen, whatever.

As far as jewelry is concerned, with the exception of rare and authentic ethnic pieces, I don’t wear costume jewelry. When I was a little girl, my mother said to me, “If you can’t afford to wear the real stuff, wear nothing.” Most of my jewelry is made of real gold but there are a few pieces made of silver from Laos. However, most of the pieces have been customized for me. At this time in my life, I have all I could ever want. Anyway, I don’t really care for glitter and adornment as other women do. I only wear jewelry because I understand perfectly well that when in public, I am judged accordingly to how I look. In that sense, I still abide by the rules of the box.

I only shop in a handful of stores for clothing, shoes, skin care and other personal needs. I shop only once a month, and we do it during times when these places are not crowded. I say “we” because, I don’t go anywhere now without company. Often, my secretary makes a phone call to the shops seeing to it that the “person” who handles my account is there to make sure I am in and out of the store in 15 minutes. I don’t spend much time in stores at all. I know exactly what I want. I get what I came for and leave immediately. That’s it. I find the energy in shopping establishments so harmful to the psyche. Energy that promotes greed and consumption is so very, very unhealthy. I sneer upon women who spend hours in malls. God, don’t they have

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anything better to do? The world would be a better place to live if people put the same effort into reading books and gardening, instead of shopping.

I go to a Chinese master therapist who works for a secluded foot spa near my home. I visit him frequently. However, one of my staff makes a phone call to the spa first, making sure that the place is empty before I go. This is done at a certain time of day when no one is around. Since I value my privacy deeply, this place has allowed me a special and private room for my own use.

As far as travel, I told Steve that I preferred traveling less often now, as long as we fly business class. At this point, Steve who is in charge of our vacation tours is very good about finding private and special places for us to stay. So, I am now completely under his mercy when we leave the country. Steve and I have an agreement that I take care of our home needs, and he takes care of our travel. It’s a perfect arrangement as far as I’m concerned. Honestly, he doesn’t even know how much we pay for electric or water bills. On the other hand, when we travel, I sit back and relax. He handles everything.

There you go. I’m very spoiled. However, I’m also a workaholic. I’m always working. Although, my job is very creative so it’s not really work. What I do feeds my soul. But in many ways, I no longer live life like most people. I prefer to spend most of my time writing, reading and running other affairs that demand the use of my imaginative mind.

Now, I would like to tell you more about my relationship with my first-born son, Jason Ivler.

Jason and I have been through so much together. This began with the sudden loss of his father when he was a little boy. Jason is my twin, always connected to me, as if the umbilical chord binding us was never cut from the time he came into being. When he was blamed for a crime he didn’t commit while he was in Ranger Battalion, I thought I would die. I knew in my heart they set him up to punish me. For three months, while I wrote Warriors of Heaven, “they” detained my son, falsely accusing him for a crime that could have imprisoned him for 25 years. I will never be able to express the pain I suffered within.

The words of Wes Penre are stuck in my head. “I just want to try to understand your relationship with the Americans and their plans for you. Of course, the American Military doesn’t do anything without a plan behind it, and the ambivalence in their relationship with you concerns me. On one hand, they accept you and respect you, and on the other hand they set you up through your family and friends. This whole

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thing is very interesting and could potentially lead to something beneficial for mankind.”

Despite the horrible situation I found my son Jason in, I continued to write Warriors of Heaven, while in my mind I also thought of ways to save Jason. Through the help of a friend, I found the address of the girl who falsely accused my son of rape. Moreover, I was given photographs of her and satellite maps locating her residence, including her personal schedules. I thought I had enough information on her to order a hit if I ever wanted to, a contract to exterminate her. Yes, I did. I considered obliterating the girl off the face of this planet. What was my choice? Either that or my son would go to prison for 25 years for a crime he did not commit.

Later, I sent all the photos and other materials I had on the girl to an old and trusted friend living in Africa. He told me that at my command, he would go to the U.S. like a ghost and would leave like a ghost, cleaning up my mess. Don’t be so surprised, I told you I have immense blackness inside me. However, I believe the blackness within me is there to protect the light. Contracts such as these are not at all alien to me. After all, Marcus was my lover and mentor from the age of 16. And I’m sure, at the rate I’m going, I would be forced by the brotherhood to display my ability to survive against all odds.

However, I decided this was not the way to go. I told you wars are won by mind and spirit, not muscle power. And so, I made a phone call to a god of war one evening. I called Gabriel. After a few minutes of pleasantries, my Lucifer bolted out of me and took over the conversation.

“Did you have anything to do with Paulie’s harassment?” I asked with a firm tone in my voice. He was silent on the other end of the line, unable to deal with my sudden change of behavior.

“Do you have anything to do with the tap on my computer and my phones? Do you have anything to do with what is happening to my son now?” I continued my inquiry with a tone of anger and disgust in my speech.

I am clairvoyant. I can sense a person through the sound of his voice. After bombarding this god of war with all these questions and from the sound of his voice over the phone, I knew he was guilty. And within 24 hours of this conversation with this dominating military man, I received an email from Jason saying that suddenly, “the girl who had accused him of rape has declared he didn’t do anything.” Wow, I thought. It is so amazing what power can do. These men have so much control over people’s lives. It must get so intoxicating. However, even after the girl announced that Jason was innocent, they continued to detain my son.

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“Paper work for your release will take a long time,” Jason’s superior stated.

“How long do you think it will take until I can get out of here?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t really know. It could take months. Plus, whatever is going on is no longer by the book,” replied Jason’s officer.

‘…no longer by the book.’ It is insane the - ‘game within games, within games…’ that these powerful military gods play.

As you have read in Warriors of Heaven, they decided to free Jason immediately after he emailed me about his thoughts of death and destruction and his contemplating suicide.

Once again, my son is in another tragic mess. Now, he’s been accused of a murder he didn’t commit. And I believe the current president of the Philippines. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo is doing all in her power to use the entire government and the media to destroy my son and me. There is now an on-going manhunt for Jason. Why must he pay the price for my defiance? I ask myself, how strong does heaven need me to be? I look at my beautiful daughter Maya and she has lost so much innocence since the day her brother was set up for the shooting of someone in public. She realizes now that our home is threatened. I’ve instructed my little daughter exactly what to do and where to hide if we were to be attacked at home.

“When you hear that alarm, I want you to run and hide, do you hear?”

“Yes, Mommy,” she replied.

“And whatever you hear, whatever you see; you stay quiet, promise me.”

“Yes, Mommy,” she uttered sadly.

And whatever you hear, whatever you see; you stay quiet, promise me…," I said the same words to Jason when he was a little boy, warning him that if bad men came to attack me, he had to hide and be quiet. I told him, I could take care of myself, but he had to remain quiet.

Jason, Jason wherever could you be? I worry about you and think of you every single moment of the day. Then my mind drifted into time before all this tragedy fell upon my family and me. I remember the night during my first live show in Hobbit House; I dedicated the song “Love Hurts” to him. He was there that evening sitting

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directly facing me while I stood on stage. He wore a white cotton shirt, and I could see his eyes sparkle in the dark-lit club staring at me with all his love. His love for me is so immense, so infinite I can’t begin to describe it in words. While on stage, I announced smiling, “This next song is for my son Jason. His love for me is one of the greatest gifts I have in this world.”

How do I explain to you the amazing relationship I have with my son, when it is so surreal? We are not really like mother and son, as you know it. We are two consciousnesses which are very much aware that our souls are entwined here, now and beyond. There is nothing, nothing in this world I couldn’t discuss with him openly. He is my confidante and I am his, forever correlating and fusing through timeless and space-less dimensions.

When he was 19 years old, he recorded a CD of his own original hip-hop music. He hired my brother in-law Abhe as his arranger. The outcome as Steve commented is, “world class and impressive.” During this time, Abhe got to know Jason better because they spent many hours in the recording studio together.

Abhe told me that the crew in the recording studio adored the boy. This is because every time he ate dinner late at night, he would order for take-out. He would buy enough food for all the crew, including the janitors who cleaned the place. He fed them all.

Later on, Abhe told his wife Tess, my younger sister, “The closeness of Jason and Ate Marlene is so immense. I hope she doesn’t die before him, because that boy wouldn’t want life without his mother. He will die without her.”

Do you have anyone in your life that would listen to you with an open heart and with all his love? Do you have anyone in your life that loves you eternally and unconditionally? And who would kill and die for you to protect you? That is my Jason for me, and I am that for him.

When he was in the US Ranger Battalion, before he went to Iraq, he called me to say good-bye thinking that he may not make it out of there alive.

He said, “I love you more than anything in this world. I have no fear of death, you know that.”

“I wanted to die when I was small, when I realized I was never going to see my father again. But, I decided to go on living for you. If I don’t make it back, I will see you next door, in the next dimension. Make sure, I’m cremated.”

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“I regret nothing about my life. If I die, the only regret I have is not seeing Maya grow up. Tell her about me.”

When Jason was a teenager, I told him about his inheritance. He has some coming from his Jewish grandparents. I also told him about a few of my assets.

He said, “I want nothing from you or my grandparents. You’ve done so much for me already. Even if I tried for the rest of my life to pay you back for all the good things you’ve done for me, I will never be able to repay you. Give it to Maya. She’s so small and fragile. Give it all to her. Give me nothing.”

I sit in front of the computer with a broken heart, wondering where my son is, how he is. I have not been able to sleep and eat properly for a month now, since that awful incident, worrying about him. I suppose the worst thing is knowing where he is, and how he is. I wonder what heaven has planned for him; although I have seen his future and the oracles confirm my vision.

In the meantime, the tri-media had condemned my son - guilty of murder before any trial. More than that, the media and the authorities continued to harass my staff, my entire family and me. Death threats against Jason and myself continued to pour in through cyberspace.

One sleepless night, while I lay in bed with my eyes closed, surrounded by utter blackness in my room, I found my spirit floating, free as the air. I spoke to mother earth. I whispered to her, “Please, send me Jason back alive. And I swear to you, I will turn him into the greatest soldier to fight your worst enemies. He and I will live to protect you as you wish.”

After I wrote the above narrative on Jason, I sent an email to Gabriel. I wrote:

“Like all the other fine soldiers in the world, I know that Jason would rather die fighting. I don’t want him to die a victim of this ugly system. That would be like shooting him in the back. “ 

“So, find him the most dangerous mission to fulfill and send him to his death. I know him very, very well. I know he will gladly agree to this. Let him die fighting like a true soldier. I swear I will never forgive you if he dies because he was used as a bargaining chip!”

In another email, I wrote:

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“You never believed me when I told you I wouldn't go into politics without you. You never believed me when I said that I would only do it if you were there with me, because I trusted you. You never believed me, did you? I was telling you the truth. However, with all that has happened, I don't see you in the same manner anymore. Trust is lost between us.

I used to believe that you had a big heart, a loving heart, although you didn't know how to use it. This is why, no matter what you did, I could forgive you. I could forgive you for as long as I believed that deep in your heart, you were true. I don't see you that way anymore. And there is no reason for me to continue my fight for a better Philippines.

I didn't think you could kill me twice. But once again, you break my heart.

Send your men to find Jason. If you're going to kill him, do it clean and do it fast. Please do that for me. Henceforth, let me walk away. Let me live a quiet life away from here.”

I copied the above email to Alwin who responded today December 20, 2009. He wrote, “Aaaaahhhhhhh!”

I replied, “Wow. I read this email again, my email to this man. And I cried all over again. How sad the world is.”

“I look at it positively. How strong you are to find greater strength after all these painful challenges,” he answered.

“I know. I am so much stronger today. I didn't think it was possible to make me stronger and more detached. I suppose only deep pain can forge us to become stronger,” was my answer to Alwin.

So, why do you think that earlier on I made a pact with this man? It has to do with my vision. It also has to do with the oracles’ confirmation of the same vision. It was foretold that I would lead this nation someday but when I do, an American with a great military mind will stand by my side. Yes, that is the same vision I had. The oracles also said that there has to be a trinity; the souls of Caesar and Gabriel must unite with mine.

When I wrote Warriors of Heaven, I couldn’t accept my fate. How could I? I have lived a quiet life with Steve and my children in our Asian home in Blue Ridge, protected from the vicious and petty existence of mankind for eight years. Why would I want anything else? Why send me into battle when I live in peace and harmony with

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all that is? Why? Why should I go? I asked the oracles the same question repeatedly over the years with anguish and tears. And over the years, they gave me the same answer, “It is my fate. Nothing changes the will of heaven.”

If you have read, Tales of the Black Widow, you will have sensed that at this time, my second novel didn’t exude the same burden that my first book portrayed. I no longer struggled against my fate. I have learned to humble myself to the will of the celestial powers that rule over everything that is.

So, I chose my champion within the brotherhood of apes within DC, an American with a great military mind, a god on earth, so that I may fulfill my destiny as foretold. I made a pact with Gabriel. Why? Because I see him as Julius Caesar was to Cleopatra. The Roman general adored the queen and respected her for her genuine desire to rule over her people with kindness and wisdom. The great Roman general protected Cleopatra and the people of Egypt for as long as he lived.

In the same token, I chose this imperious American warrior because I knew he could see through my heart. He told me that he believed in my pure desire to ease the suffering of my people. We discussed the future of the Philippines. And I told him that without him, I would never enter the evil world of politics.

There are other reasons why I chose this warlord as my guardian on earth to fulfill my mission. The only warrior who could defeat evil is a warrior whose blackness is so powerful and infinite like that of the Devil’s. The only power that could conquer evil is one that knows it well.

Now that trust is lost between this man and me, how can I possibly proceed to enter the confines of the ugly institutions that rule over my land and my people? Without this man, I can’t. Without this man, I will not do it.

The true powers that rule the world work in a very complex way. It isn’t simple. The “game within games, within games…” is difficult to fathom.

Now the tarot shows a bigger evil coming into my life. They say that when one warrior of heaven fails to aid me, another will come, and another, and another. I already know who this soul is. His spirit is ever present in my home. I believe that this great man, evil as he is, has decided to protect me.

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The oracles foretold that Steve would be pushed out of the way. It is heaven’s will. They predicted that Steve and I would be separated. Additionally, they foretold that the next man who will stand by my side, my new partner, will become the most powerful man on earth. It sounds crazy, I know. Nonetheless, both Paulie and the older seers predicted the same thing. At this point, and after all the dangers my family and I have been through over the past two years, I really don’t care anymore. I just want safety for those I love. I can’t continue putting their lives on the line.

I feel relieved that I could write all that. Not even Steve knows about those predictions. He’s in the U.S. now visiting his son. I couldn’t tell him about the forecasts of the oracles. How could I tell him? In mind and spirit, we have grown together over the years, despite all the painful challenges that came our way. The truth is the first eight years of my life with him has been some of the happiest moments of my life. However, for the past two years I’ve learned to accept so much. I have learned to detach myself from so many things. “Your life is not yours to live,” the old lady kept reminding me year after year, after year. “You were born to ease the suffering of mankind. You must put all your needs aside. It is the only way.”

Going back to my son Jason, I sent Becca Padilla a note the other night, which stated:

“Recently, I received a phone call from an American; someone whom I know provided information for the CIA. He told me, "I love you kid but stop talking to the police. Your son is no longer your business."

I've been thinking. The US Embassy issued a statement that they have no record of Jason since 2004 right? They also said, they cannot confirm that he was with the Special Forces.

What is the US Embassy really saying? Are they implying that Jason's record has been removed from the files?”

In another email I sent my soul sister, I wrote:

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“I believe the hideous massacre in Mindanao came with the blessing of the CIA. The father of the boy who died is the Under Secretary to the President. My lawyer told me that he was the one in charge of some political affairs in Mindanao. In addition, it is known that members of the police force were involved in the genocide. Well, these people were just following the orders of their leader. The question is, was Victor Renato Ebarle Sr., the Under Secretary to the President, the dead boy's father, linked directly to the massacre, since he was there at the time of the tragic incident? Did he give the orders to the police? I wonder if somehow, something went wrong with the 'deal'. You know what I'm saying? Did something go wrong between the Americans and the "authorities" in the south?

Is it possible that the Americans assassinated the Under Secretary's son to punish him for a deal gone sour in Mindanao? Is it also possible that they killed two birds with one stone, using a "shooter" to fit the description of Jason, thereby also forcing me into a tight spot?

How convenient to have the shooting happen three days before my book launching. Then two days after, there is mass killing in Mindanao. The two killing incidents are linked together by one name - that is the father of the dead boy, Victor Renato Ebarle Sr., the Under Secretary.…’games within games, within games…’”

I also sent the above email to Mike my neighbor in Blue Ridge, and my sister Aida, the ‘brainiac’.

“These things cannot just be coincidences...seems like these have been orchestrated...a large operation,” was my sister’s reply.

My neighbor Mike replied:

“This is really interesting!  Two birds with one stone. It seems like the kid who died and Jason are both collateral damage.

It looks like these people timed the two killing incidents so well. The first suspicion I had concerned the policeman who was supposed to be the

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main witness, the SPO4. He claims he witnessed the two vehicles going at each other on the road. Since, he is trained to intercept in such a situation, being an officer of the law, why didn’t he do anything to announce his presence? He could have blown his horn, or somehow intervened. Yet he supposedly just watched these two vehicles at war and followed them.

He could have blown his car’s horn again when the two vehicles stopped in order to alert both drivers as to his presence. He also would have had his service pistol with him. Yet. he chose to watch in silence until someone fired three shots, allegedly killing the Under Secretary’s son. After which he claims to have gone in pursuit of the shooter! What an idiot this policeman is! Did someone pay him for this supposed inaction?

This really doesn't fit.”

After I sent the above email, I received this one from one of my principal characters. He wrote:

“Beautiful dragon,

It is that time of year again. I will be on work break for the next two weeks. Please bear with me. You know I will email each chance I get. It will be either through this account or though the other account. I will try. You know that. I will have a period of about four to six days when I will have no contact whatsoever, because I am driving north to visit my in-laws. They do not have internet at their house. Know that I will miss talking to you terribly during this period, especially with what is going on in my life. Have a great Christmas!

XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!

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XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!XXX!!!

I love you.”

What can I say? I told you, people either love me or hate me, nothing in between.

I now present to you the latest readings of the oracles. Here are Paulie’s predictions.

“There is a steady realization of plans. Your Lilith personality is very active in the tarot. However, the devil reigns over the cards of life. Evil overflows.

Anything related to finances will go very well for you. Your book Warriors of Heaven will change the world. After evil reigns, the sun will come to you, and all your wishes will be fulfilled.

Jason will become the Prince of shadows. It is his fate.

Three very powerful men are coming your way; one has no identity, the other is a strategist, and the third is the sun himself. Gabriel is silent, but he is closer than you think. The tarot says he is in your home. You and the devil on earth will bear witness to the great death and destruction that is coming. He is the warrior of heaven who holds the key to the tower of destruction, and he shall unlock the doors. There will be an ocean of death.

There is a great military god within the US killing machine who you have never met, not in the flesh. However, your spirits are greatly connected. He knows of you, and he admires you for your mind and courage. He sees you as his ally.

There are other strong factions interested in you. However, it is the men of swords who will come and openly express their claim over the daughter of heaven on earth. You and these men of swords, this great

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military, come from the same celestial clan of warriors, some serving evil, some serving good. Your strength surpasses what they expected of you. Their king adores you.

This book you are writing now is the bringer of death. There will be genocide, and from this chaos of death and destruction, a new dawn will be born. The next two years are crucial.

Heaven sends forth an invisible army of soldiers to protect the daughter of heaven on earth. All your enemies will die. And all your allies will rise with you. You and the other warriors along side you are protected by great and unseen celestial forces.

Your other personality, the earth Mother, Gaea is also very active. She will bring forth a golden age.

You are the key to the future. You are the chosen one, the one who sees all.”

Here is the old lady’s forecast.

“The death of the boy who was shot in public is very, very unfortunate for all parties concerned. The poor boy’s father is a top government official that serves the old system in the Philippines, the old government. According to the tarot, this death serves as an omen to the public. This tragedy symbolizes the end of days, the death of the old world in the Philippines. The wheel of fortune has turned. Those in power will become powerless. And the small and poor will become powerful. The Philippines will be beautiful again. It is the will of heaven.

The injustice you and your entire family are now suffering is also the will of heaven. This will push you and force you to your path. And you will desire to bring forth justice to your people. The pain you suffer now is heaven’s way of forging you to create a new world.”

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As always, as the lady oracle read the tarot, I sat before her taking deep breaths, rolling my eyes back and forth, up and down over and over. This behavior of mine drives her out of her wits.

“What do you want us to do?” she snapped. “We can shuffle the tarot a thousand times over. It keeps telling us the same thing over and over and over again.

I don’t care what you do. I don’t care what you say. You cannot run from your destiny! You will sit in your throne! There will be a Philippine renaissance, and this transformation will be born through you. No one on earth has the power to change the will of heaven. You will change the future of this nation and the world.”

“So why I am surrounded by men with big muscles and no brain? How am I supposed to talk to men in charge of big nuclear arms with pickled brains? Without the mind, it’s pointless. The US killing machine is all muscle! Forget it. Julius Caesar doesn’t exist today.”

“You were born to fulfill a great task. NO man can get in your way. You are protected by the mightiest Buddhist warrior saints. They will strike those who get in your way,” she declared.

Then she got up from her chair and hollered, “Mr. Max, come here please.” He walked in smiling his warmest smile. “Look at the tarot. Please tell her, she cannot run from her fate!”

The male Buddhist oracles, as always smiled ever so kindly and uttered gently, “You can’t run from your destiny. Your fate was decided by heaven since time began.”

Here ends the reading of the oracles.

“Mom, you’re crying,” Maya suddenly uttered with the sweetest voice, glancing at me from the side of her chestnut brown and Asian looking eyes.

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She’s sitting near my table to my left, drawing and singing tenderly while I work on this novel.

“Do you want some tissue?” she asked lovingly. “Are the bad cops with the big guns making you cry? I’m going to grow my nails you know. Next time they come, I’m going to scratch their eyes out.”

“I’m okay,” I replied to her softly. In my mind, I thought, the girl has my strong spirit, Becca calls her the warrior princess now.

“What are you doing?” I asked my beautiful daughter.

“I’m making a book for our family,” she answered proud and smiling, while holding a bunch of long bond paper she taped together on one side. She showed me her drawings of vegetables and plants we’ve planted in the garden.

“Really, what kind of book is that?”

“It’s a book of seeds. I will cut out the pictures of the vegetables from the seed packets. I will put them in this book, see? It’s for our family.”

“Very clever, darling, I’m so proud of you.”

On the cover of her book, Maya wrote, “For Mom and Dad, Maya, Manong Jason and Wawu.”

The word Manong means older brother in Ilocano, a Filipino ethno-language that I speak. Marj, Maya’s tutor, like me, is also from the northern Philippines and speaks Ilocano with great pride. I’ve asked her to teach my daughter to speak this beautiful ethno-language, which Maya is now beginning to do.

My daughter calls her other brother Wawu, derived from the word guapo, meaning handsome in both Spanish and Tagalog. This is because

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when she was younger, Colby would tell Maya that his name is guapo. Therefore, she grew up thinking that was Colby’s real name.

I would like to share with you an essay I wrote recently. It is is about a particular soul that is deeply connected to mine. Although, I have never met this consciousness in the flesh, we communicate telepathically. His presence was seen in the cards since I began to write Chapter Two of my last book, Tales of the Black Widow. That was when, our spirits reunited in this probable reality. Since that time, I have felt his presence surround my home. The oracles call this imperious military man, my twin of flames.

“The tarot says you and this man have been lovers, is it true?” the old lady asked. At this time, she has never read, Tales of the Black Widow yet.

“No, I’ve never met him. I mean I’ve never met him in the flesh in this matrix.”

“That’s not what the tarot says, and that’s not what the people are going to think. You wrote about him with such passion, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I defended his existence on earth. He is a necessary evil, a very special evil.”

The old lady gazed into my eyes probing as deep as she could, trying to read my thoughts. I thought, I wonder if it’s a good idea to bare my fangs out in the open and start another fight with her.

“But the tarot says you were lovers.”

“Some people think Francesca is my lover, that Becca is my lover, and that Billy King, my Irish friend is my lover too. Plus people think that those who are close to me are or have been my lovers. However, it’s not true. I mean it’s not true in this matrix. Since these people are my beloved soul mates, my beloved soul consorts, then we are connected through space and time, sharing different kinds of lives in countless realities. And yes, in

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one or two or maybe more lives in those probable existences, I’m sure this man and I were lovers. But we are not lovers in this reality!”

“Do you feel love for this man?”

“Yes.”

“Do you feel you know him?”

“Yes, I sense him from the very core of his being. He is complex in mind and spirit, brave like a warrior of heaven, manipulative, cunning and evil as evil can be. However, the other side of his blackness is lightness. He’s a true god on earth. I have the highest regard for him despite his demonic existence.”

“Others have a hard time relating to you when you defend evil,” she stated.

“Because most people are dumb. They don’t understand that this matrix is like a movie. Look at the movie X-Men. What gives life to the story are the opposing factions it presents, the good guys and the bad guys. And you will see that the bad guys push the good guys to their limits, forcing them to grow, enabling them to defend their convictions harder and stronger.

So, the principal characters in the movie give the story color, excitement, vibrancy and life. Without the key players, imagine what would happen to the story? The majority of mankind is not playing crucial roles. They sit back and watch like the audience in the movie theatre. You know what I’m saying? It is the major players who will decide the fate of the matrix we’re living in.

I’m playing my role. You’re playing your role. My supporters are doing their part, so is Gabriel and Caesar and all the other warriors of heaven in my life. The US killing forces, their paperwork generals and their special soldiers are doing their part as well. In the meantime, the rest of mankind

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is walking around the planet absolutely clueless, believing that their boring and inconsequential existences matters.”

The oracle listened to my declaration with her eyes fixed upon mine, still probing within me.

“The cards say you have met this war god in this reality,” she stated firmly, her eyes flashing at mine.

Amazing, she’s actually saying to my face I’m lying to her, I thought. Never in the 19 years I’ve known her did she think I lied to her. This is the first time. Now, I am beginning to doubt myself. After all, there is a great fraction of my memory that had been erased. That’s right. I’m not ready to tell you about this. You’re just going to have to wait for my next book.

Anyway, this military man, this soul who I believe is my great protector on earth is my twin of flames. It means we are the same. I am his female counterpart on earth, except he serves evil. I serve good. I now present to you the essay I wrote about him entitled, You.

You

Last night, I lay in bed in the dark and there I closed my eyes. I love the feeling of blackness in the night. I love the silence. I love nothingness. This to me is bliss. Surrounded by darkness, I called your name, whispering to your spirit to join me in a timeless and space-less void. I know our spirits are bonded, and I needed to experience our souls in other realities. I needed to understand my connection with you further, my dear soul consort. You are my beloved celestial protector in heaven and on earth.

I called your name again and again beckoning your spirit to join me, join me. Then, I felt my spirit leaving my body, my essence projecting into the galaxies beyond. And there, where the infinite powers of blackness and lightness unite in perfect rhythm and harmony, our souls met - fusing, swaying and dancing, and in one with everything that is.

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This is what I learned.

I saw your incarnations through a mirror. It was shaped like a triangle with the tip pointing toward me, but I could only see half the mirror. I could only see the half to my right side. I couldn’t see the left portion of the mirror at all. First, I saw your image at the very tip of the looking glass. Then your image started splitting backwards away from the tip into several images of you, inter-correlating with one another. They looked connected and yet separated. It's hard to explain in words what I saw. These splitting images of you formed half of a triangle. Still, I couldn’t see the other half of the mirror, the one to my left.

Then, I saw a pyramid, a triangle upside down. Suddenly, I saw another one on top of it, the two creating a diamond-shaped figure. The diamond figure started to spin, slowly at first, then faster and faster and faster. While it spun, I saw several shapes, squares, triangles, and circles, spinning and spinning, all over. They seemed to move like atoms and molecules dancing and swaying through space and time. This gave me the impression that we are both men of science in another realm.

Suddenly, the motion stopped and all the figures disappeared. For a moment, there was nothing, nothing, just blank. After which, I heard a scream coming from sheer darkness, so piercing and unstoppable. It was horrible, horrible! I felt this happening to us in another matrix. I was so disturbed by the awful sound; I retreated back into this reality and back to my physical form, gasping and in tears. I was frightened. Even so, I could still hear the scream. I could hear and feel the torment of the voice that followed me into this existence. I wanted to escape now, but I knew I couldn’t. Somehow, I was locked in this moment and that other universe I traveled to. So, I closed my eyes once more and confronted my fear. I lay there in silence once again, with my eyes closed, talking to myself, “Do not fear. Do not fear. Daughter of heaven, do not fear.” I repeated these words over and over and over. And slowly, without fear, I embraced the sound of foreboding coming from the universe. Still in all of this, your spirit remained connected with mine, comforting me.

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When I found my center once more, my spirit projected into the galaxies again. And this time, I experienced the lives I now share with you through the endless spectrums of the matrix. I do not know how to explain in words what I saw and experienced, because it is beyond words, and beyond the understanding of mortal men. Be that as it may, allow me to say this. During that moment of searching, I experienced tears and joy in ways so uniquely different from that which I have known in this life. There in the blue, I realized that our souls have covered every single color combination of life there is possible in heaven and on earth, from total anguish to bliss, through space and time.

December 22, 2009M

Remember the long email I sent to Gabriel, telling him I am nobody’s puppet? I still haven’t heard from him. He hasn’t responded to my “surrender." I am not really sure if he is in the position to respond to my request. I wonder if his response has to go through a committee vote now. So, I wrote him another email.

“Still not speaking… You can't possibly tell me, you did all those things to get into my pants. Hmmmmmmmmmmm… Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be inside your pants. I bet my dick is bigger than yours. Talk to me!”

I finally heard from Wes Penre, saying he’s fine. However, the energy of his narrative has changed. He is no longer as expressive and open as he was before. After disappearing much longer than anticipated, suddenly he returns distant and detached.

So, Wes Penre, brave as he is, had retreated. Maybe it wasn’t his capacity to meddle with my affairs.

Remember my email to Gabriel? I wrote him and said: “What's wrong, dear? You're so quiet now. Did the game of chess get complicated for you? Now we have a "brainiac" Wes Penre from Illuminati News, on the board

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playing with us. This should excite you and your brothers, not push you back…”

I wonder if 'they’ asked Wes to back off. After all these mighty men can do almost anything they wish. I’m curious as to what the background of Wes is. What’s his connection to them? He did suggest in one of his emails that he had a dark past like mine.

I’m smiling now, shaking my head staring at the computer screen. I really don’t know why I’m smiling. What is there to be gained? Do these people realize what I’m capable of doing? I would rather die than be taken prisoner by these men.

Still, the words of the oracles keep playing in my head, “No matter which path you take; all roads will lead you to Rome…”

I think of Cleopatra, who became queen at the age of 19, ruled the most prosperous nation in the world at that time. However, the vultures in Rome, the predators of the west wanted nothing more than to subjugate her and steal the massive wealth of Egypt - the fortune of the east. She agreed to wed Julius Caesar to protect her people from the wrath of the oppressor. She was a good queen, a wise queen, a brave queen. She made sure Alexandria and Egypt prospered during her reign.

Later, the Priests of Memphis told her that she was the last Pharaoh of Egypt. In addition, with the death of the great Julius Caesar, Egypt would fall under the cruel hands of Rome. She knew her fate. She knew Egypt’s fate. And in the end Cleopatra, the proud daughter of Isis refused to be subjugated by the tyranny of Rome. She killed herself instead. Thus, Alexandria and all of Egypt fell.

However, I promise you that this is not the fate of the Philippines. This is not the fate of my people.

I know my destiny. I have always known. I see the future better than the seers. What truly causes me pain is seeing those I love suffer on my

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behalf. I can’t stand the suffering of mankind, let alone the suffering of those I love. This is probably why the oracles see me as the goddess of compassion reborn in this life. However, I am not afraid. Whatever my fate is, I accept it with all my humility. I am nothing, nothing but a pawn to the will of the cosmic forces that rule over everything that is here and beyond.

I feel now that this Brotherhood of men is battering me, lashing at me hard without remorse the way my father used to beat me. They are mean and cruel like my father. How fiercely heartless my father was, I will never forget. He was a beast, a monster. But, how do you defeat someone who fears no death? How do you control my spirit when it is so far removed from your world, from your existence?

What is the worst thing they could possibly do to me? Kill me? Kill what? They can annihilate my body. That is true. However, that is only a physical death. It means nothing. My soul will never leave this planet! It will remain guiding mankind until the end of time.

My soul is eternal! Therefore, I will never die.

I end this chapter today December 23, 2009.

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