Class 20EWRT 1A

AGENDA

• Vocabulary Game

• Introductions

• Conclusions

• Sentence Strategies

• Blogging Assessment

Introductions are Important

Writing the Opening Sentences

• You should try out one or two different ways of beginning your essay. You might want to review your invention writing to see if you have already written something that would work to launch your essay.

To engage your readers’ interest from the start, consider the following opening strategies:

a scenario like O’Malley uses

• It’s late at night. The final’s tomorrow. You got a C on the midterm, so this one will make or break you. Will it be like the midterm? Did you study enough? Did you study the right things? It’s too late to drop the course. So what happens if you fail? No time to worry about that now—you’ve got a ton of notes to go over.

Or, you can consider using statistics like Kornbluh does:

• Today fully 70 percent of families with children are headed by two working parents or by an unmarried working parent. The “traditional family” of the breadwinner and homemaker has been replaced by the “juggler family,” in which no one is home full-time. Two parent families are working 10 more hours a week than in 1979 (Bernstein and Kornbluh).

• a historical analogy

• a research study

• a comparison to other places where the solution has been tried successfully

• a preview of the negative consequences if the problem goes unsolved

• criticism of an alternative solution

Or you can consider one of the following opening strategies:

Try one now!

• a scenario

• Using statistics

• a historical analogy

• a research study

• a comparison to other places where the solution has been tried successfully

• a preview of the negative consequences if the problem goes unsolved

• criticism of an alternative solution

Endings are Important too!

End by summarizing your solution and its advantages, as O’Malley does.

• From the evidence and from my talks with professors and students, I see frequent, brief in-class exams as the only way to improve students’ study habits and learning, reduce their anxiety and procrastination, and increase their satisfaction with college. These exams are not a panacea, but only more parking spaces and a winning football team would do as much to improve college life. Professors can’t do much about parking or football, but they can give more frequent exams. Campus administrators should get behind this effort, and professors should get together to consider giving exams more frequently. It would make a difference.

Remind readers of something special about the problem or solution at the end, as Kornbluh does when she urges that an award be given to the companies that lead the way.

• Public Education: Critical to the success of the proposal will be public education along the lines of the education that the government and business schools conducted in the 1980s about the need for American business to adopt higher quality standards to compete against Japanese business. A Malcolm Baldridge–like award4 should be created for companies that make flexibility win-win. A public education campaign conducted by the Department of Labor should encourage small businesses to adopt best practices of win-win flexibility. Tax credits could be used in the first year to reward early adopters.

Or, try one of these endings

• End with a scenario suggesting the consequences of a failure to solve the problem.

• End with an inspiring call to action.

Try writing an ending now!

• End by summarizing your solution and its advantages.

• Remind readers of something special about the problem or solution at the end

• End with a scenario suggesting the consequences of a failure to solve the problem.

• End with an inspiring call to action.

Sentence Strategy:Writing Better

Sentences

Avoiding Ambiguous Use of This and That

• The Problem: Because you must frequently refer to the problem and the solution in a proposal, you will often use pronouns to avoid the monotony or wordiness of repeatedly referring to them by name. Using this and that vaguely to refer to other words or ideas, however, can confuse readers.

How to Correct It.

• Add a specific noun after this or that. For example, in his essay in this chapter, Patrick O’Malley writes:• Another possible solution would be to help students

prepare for midterm and final exams by providing sets of questions from which the exam questions will be selected. . . . This solution would have the advantage of reducing students’ anxiety about learning every fact in the textbook. . . . (par. 12)

• O’Malley avoids an ambiguous this in the second sentence by repeating the noun “solution.”

• (He might just as well have used preparation or action or approach.)

Look for ambiguous uses of “this” and “that” in your essay

Revising Sentences that Lack an Agent

The Problem: A writer proposing a solution to a problem usually needs to indicate who exactly should take action to solve it. Such actors—those who are in a position to take action—are called “agents.” Look, for example, at this sentence from O’Malley’s proposal:

• To get students to complete the questions in a timely way, professors would have to collect and check the answers. (par. 11)

• In this sentence, professors are the agents. They have the authority to assign and collect study questions, and they would need to take this action in order for this solution to be successfully implemented.

• Had O’Malley instead written “the answers would have to be collected and checked,” the sentence would lack an agent. Failing to name an agent would have made his argument less convincing, because it would have left unclear one of the key parts of any proposal: Who is going to take action.

How to Correct It

• When you revise your work, ask yourself who or what performed the action in any given sentence. If there is no clear answer, rewrite the sentence to give it an agent. Watch in particular for forms of the verb to be (the balls were dropped, exams should be given, etc.), which often signal agentless sentences.

Look for sentences lacking agents in your own essay

Examples

The blogging post points (150) require self-assessment. Consider three aspects of your responses: First, how many of the posts did you make? Second, what was the quality of your response? Third, how timely were your submissions? Write a paragraph or two justifying your grade. You may submit this to me by email as soon as you finish post 23, but you must send it before Friday, Week 11 at noon.

Self-Assessment

HomeworkAdd the introduction and conclusion we wrote today to your draft. Read it aloud to make sure it is in a logical order. Change the order of your paragraphs if that makes sense to you.

Check your essay for ambiguity. Add words to clarify “this” and “that.” Check your sentences for “agents.”

Post #23: Your introduction and conclusion

Bring one clean, hard copy to class. An Electronic Copy will not do for this exercise!

• Your essay should be in MLA format

• It should include a works cited page

• Study Vocabulary: Test in next class

Self-Assessment: Due Friday via email

Essay #2 Revision: Due Friday via Kaizena