Communication usually fails, except by accident
As a constructive summary, we can just state that you cannot
communicate successfully. You can only increase the odds of
accidental success.
Source:
What to communicate?Target of talkingBoundaries (self & others)
Usefulness of the communication.Is it positive … or negative
Accuracy of the Information to be communicated.Is it under estimate or exaggerating
Encoding:• The process of transferring the information you want to communicate into
a form that can be sent and correctly decoded at the other end.
• Ability to convey the information.
• Eliminate sources of confusion. For e.g. cultural issues, mistaken assumptions, and missing information.
• Knowing your audience.
Written Communication Channels Letters,
e-Mails,
Memos,
Reports.
Verbal Communication ChannelsFace-To-Face meetings,
Telephones,
Video Conferencing.
Strengths and WeaknessesVerbal Communication:
Strength - Role of Body Language.
Weakness - Not possible to give long list of directions
Written Communication:
Strength - A proof of a communication
Weakness - Written words does not show a person’s actual feelings.
EFFECTIVE DECODING:Listen actively,
Reading information carefully,
Avoid Confusion,
Ask question for better understanding. The audience or individuals to whom we are sending the information.
THE INFLUENCE FOR RECEIVER:
• The prior knowledge can influence the receiver’s understanding of the message.
• Blockages in the receiver’s mind.
• The surrounding disturbances.
FEEDBACK:
Feedback can be:
Verbal Reactions and Non-Verbal Reactions.
Positive feedback and Negative feedback.
1-Motivation
Be able to:Describe reasons that communication failsList strategies to improve communicationParaphrase and summarize conversationsUse appropriate questioning techniques
What causes distortion?Speaker
LanguageWordinessSemanticsEmotionsInflections
ListenerPerceptionsPreconceived
notions/expectationsPhysical hearing
problemSpeed of thoughtPersonal interestsEmotionsAttention spanNo active
listening!
Are you simply waiting for your turn to talk? Are you thinking about your reply before the
other person has finished talking?Are you waiting for something after this
lecture?
Listening and speaking require energyListening takes. . .
concentration and energycuriosity and open-mindednessanalysis and understanding
Speaking requires. . .sharp focuslogical thinkingclear phrasingcrisp delivery
How to be an active listenerSet the stage
Choose an appropriate physical environmentRemove distractionsBe open and accessibleMaintain relaxed, open posture that shows
concentrationEnsure mutual understanding
Reflect feelingsOffer acknowledgements (say “uh-huh”)Paraphrase main ideasInterrupt to clarifyConfirm next steps
Understand body languageObserve position and posturingMake eye contactConsider expression and gestures
Suspend judgmentConcentrateKeep an open mindHear the person outDo not react to emotive words
Behaviors that hinder effective listeningAct distracted (look at your watch!)Tell your own story without acknowledging
theirsGive no responseInvalidate response, be negativeInterruptCriticizeDiagnose what was saidGive advice/solutions quicklyChange the subjectReassure without acknowledgment
PARAPHRASEPARAPHRASE
Restate what was said in your own words
PARAPHRASEPARAPHRASE
Restate what was said in your own words
SUMMARIZESUMMARIZE
Pull together the main points of a speaker
SUMMARIZESUMMARIZE
Pull together the main points of a speaker
QUESTIONQUESTION
Challenge speaker to think further, clarifying both your and their understanding
QUESTIONQUESTION
Challenge speaker to think further, clarifying both your and their understanding
3
Practice ParaphrasingParaphrasing is
simply restating what another person has said in your own words.
Use phrases such as:
In other words…I gather that…If I understand what
you are saying…What I hear you
saying is…Pardon my
interruption, but let me see if I understand you correctly…
Practice SummarizingSummarizing pulls
important ideas, facts or data together.
Useful for emphasizing key points and setting the stage for further discussion.
The person summarizing must listen carefully in order to organize the information systematically.
Try out these summarizing phrases:“If I understand you
correctly, your main concerns are…”
“These seem to be the key ideas you have expressed… ”
Two basic types of questions1. Closed questions:
Get a one-word response and inhibit thought. Questions begin with who, when and which
2. Open-ended questions: Invite unique thought, reflection or an
explanation. Questions begin with how, what and how
come (not why!).
Communication Rights and ResponsibilitiesRIGHTS
1. You have the right to be treated with respect.
2. You have the right to have and express your own opinions.
3. You have the right to ask for what you need and want in order to be effective.
4. You have the right to set reasonable limits.
RESPONSIBILITIES
1. You have the responsibility to treat others with respect.
2. You have the responsibility to listen to the opinions of others.
3. You have the responsibility to acknowledge and address the needs of others.
4. You have the responsibility to respect the limits and boundaries of others.
Communication StylesPassive Assertive Aggressive
Extends but doesnot feel entitled
to “rights;”accepts
responsibilities
Both exercisesand
extends “rights”and
responsibilities
Demandsbut does not
extend “rights;”does not acceptresponsibilities
Why Aren't You Talking to Me?Eye avoidanceLack of smilingHand and arm placementPostureSilenceInvolvement shields
Communication tipsTake a break and listenRepeat what you heardAsk specific questions to gather more
information.See the situation through others eyes.Acknowledge the others feelingsListen don’t judgePause to consider others requestShare your thinking out loud.Focus on the positive before bringing up the
negative.Listen to your tone instead of your words.