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Conflict and

Conflict

ResolutionDee Amundson, PSC

Denver, CO

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Objectives

Define Conflict

Conflict Management Styles

Conflict Resolutions

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Conflict is a condition that exists

anytime two or more people disagree

over an issue or situation.

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An incompatibility between two or more opinions, principles, or

interests.

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3 Types of Conflict

Personal or relational conflicts

Instrumental conflicts Conflicts of interest

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Let’s Compare:

Intrapersonal Interpersonal

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Let’s Compare:

Intragroup Intergroup

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Let’s Compare:

Intra-organizational Inter-organizational

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Why do we care?Because conflict is always there

It starts the day we are born and

continues until the day we die

There is no way to avoid

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Educational Programs

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Children’s Books

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What

Causes

Conflict?

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The need to be rightMisunderstandingsPersonality clashesCompetition for resourcesAuthority issuesLack of cooperationDifferences of opinionLow performanceValues or goal differences

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Common Conflict in the

Workplace

Discrimination IssuesPerformance-Review Conflicts

Conflicts with CustomersLeadership ConflictsEmployee Diversity

Growth and Development

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Can Conflict be

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YES!Results in clarification of important problems and issuesResults in solutions to problemsInvolves people in resolving issues important to themCauses authentic communicationHelps release emotion, anxiety, stressBuilds cooperation among people through learning more about each otherJoining in resolving the conflictHelps individuals develop understanding and skills

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Advantages to ConflictHelps to raise and address problemsEnergizes work to be on the most appropriate

issuesHelps motivate people to participateHelps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differencesImproves communication

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Benefits to Conflict

Increased

Understanding

Expands people’s

awareness

Gives insight into how they can

achieve their goals without undermining

others

Better Group

Cohesion

Team members can

develop stronger

mutual respectRenew faith in ability

to work together

Improved Self-Knowledge

Examine own goals and expectations closelyHelp to understand the things that are most important to themSharpen focusEnhance effectiveness

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Use it,

don’t diffuse it!

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Can Conflict be

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DefinitelyBehaviors that escalate a conflict until it seems to have a life of its own

are dysfunctional and destructive.

Conflict parties forget the substantive issues and transform their

purposes to getting even, retaliating or hurting the other person.

No one is satisfied with the outcome

Possible gains are not realized

Negative taste left over at the end of one conflict episode is carried

over to the beginning of the next conflict--creating a degenerating or

negative spiral.

Destructive conflicts are more likely to occur when behaviors come from rigid, competitive systems.

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When conflict resolutions result in even more conflict

Competing or Fighting

Denial or Avoidance

Smoothing over the problem

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Dealing With Destructive

Conflict

Speak up – not the same as venting

Stand up

Step back

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Conflict

Management

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The process of limiting the negative aspects of conflict

while increasing the positive aspects of conflict.

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Keep in Mind…Learned behaviorAdapts as we learn and grow

Changes from one environment to the nextLeaders subconsciously change how conflict is managed in team-based situations

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Finding Your Management StyleEach statement on the next two slides provides a strategy for dealing with a conflictRate each statement on a scale of 1-4 indicating how likely you are to use this strategy

1. Rarely2. Sometimes3. Often4. Always

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1. I explore issues with others so as to find solutions that meet everyone’s needs.

2. I try to negotiate and adopt a give-and-take approach to problem situations.

3. I try to meet the expectations of others.

4. I would argue my case and insist on the merits of my point of view.

5. When there is a disagreement, I gather as much information as I can and keep the lines of communication open.

6. When I find myself in an argument, I usually say very little and try to leave as soon as possible.

7. I try to see conflicts from both sides. What do I need? What odes the other person need? What are the issues involved?

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8. I prefer to compromise when solving problems and just move on.

9. I find conflicts challenging and exhilarating; I enjoy the battle of wits that usually follows.

10. Being at odds with other people makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious.

11. I try to accommodate the wishes of my friends and family.

12. I can figure out what needs to be done and I am usually right.

13. To break deadlocks, I would meet people halfway.

14. I may not get what I want but it’s a small price to pay for keeping the peace.

15. I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself.

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Total Your AnswersCollaborating: 1, 5, 7 ___________

Competing: 4, 9, 12 ___________

Avoiding: 6, 10, 15 ___________

Accommodating: 3, 11, 14 ___________

Compromising: 2, 8, 13 ___________

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Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode

Instrument (TKI)

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Interest-Based Relational

ApproachMake sure good relationships are a

priority

Separate people from problems

Listen carefully to different interests

Listen first, talk second

Set out the “facts”

Explore options together

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Real-Life Example:Someone pushes in front of you in line

Passive: does nothing

Aggressive: verbally attacks the intruder, yells at him or her, or threatens them

Passive-Aggressive: does not deal directly with the intruder, but looks to others or mutters quietly.

Assertive: describes the situation, expresses personal feelings, and says what should be done

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Ways of managing conflictHealthy

The capacity to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other personCalm, non-defensive, and respectful reactionsA readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or angerThe ability to seek compromise and avoid punishingA belief that facing conflict head-on is the best thing for both sides

UnhealthyAn inability to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other personExplosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactionsThe withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming, and fear of abandonmentAn inability to compromise or see the other person’s sideThe fear and avoidance of conflict; the expectation of bad outcomes

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Conflict

Resolution

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Conflict resolution is a way for two or more parties to

find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among them.

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Any questions?

You can find me at @username

& user@mail.me

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Steps

Understand the conflictCommunicate with the opposition

Brainstorm possible resolutionsChoose the best resolutionUse a third party mediator

Explore alternativesCope with stressful situations and pressure

tactics

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Four Key Conflict

Resolution Skills

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Four Key Conflict

Resolution Skills

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Four Key Conflict

Resolution Skills

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Four Key Conflict

Resolution Skills

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Let’s look at

some

examples

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Resident-Resident

Conflict

“She’s being loud!”

“He has too many guests over!”

“I swear, the bugs are coming from their unit!”

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Resident-Family Conflict“I don’t have time, mom, the kids have a soccer game today.”

“I think you’d be better off in a nursing home, I don’t have time to get your groceries for you.”

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Resident-Caregiver Conflict“I don’t feel like she listens to me.”

“All she does is come over and play on her phone.”

“He doesn’t clean well.”

“He cusses too much.”

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Resident-Staff Conflict“Your office is always closed!”

“You never have time for me!”

“Why does he get to be in your office for an hour and I get 5 minutes?”

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Staff-Caregiver Conflict“You’re here 3 days a week, why isn’t his apartment passing inspection?”

“Why doesn’t she have any clean clothes?”

“You were supposed to be here at 10a, it’s now 3p, where are you?”

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Staff-Staff Conflict“You’re always late and I have to do the trash myself!”

“I hate country music, why do you insist on playing it?”

“You never listen to me!”

“Why don’t you just answer my question!”

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Staff-Family Conflict“I can’t give you a key to the apartment because your mother told me not to.”

“I need a copy of your dad’s proof of income from Social Security or he’ll lose his apartment.”

“Why won’t you check on my mom daily? Isn’t that your job?”

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Realize this about

conflict

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Realize this about

conflict

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Realize this about

conflict

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www.mjhousingandservices.com

Realize this about

conflict

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My Contact InformationDee Amundson, PSC

Service Coordinator, Hiring Specialist & Training Specialist

Drehmoor Apartments

215 E. 19th Ave

Denver, CO 80203

Tel: 303-832-0821

Fax: 303-863-9175

Email: damundson@mjhousingandservices.com

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Resourceshttp://www.slideshare.net/Ogwanwa/workplace-conflict

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_81.htm

https://www.edcc.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.pdf

http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/implement/provide-information-enhance-skills/conflict-resolution/main

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Resourceshttps://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/conflict-resolution-skills.htm

https://essentialsofbusiness.ufexec.ufl.edu/resources/human-resources/the-conflict-resolution-process/#.WJtIgfkrKM9

https://www.notredameonline.com/resources/negotiations/the-five-styles-of-conflict-resolution/#.WJtIy_krKM9

https://www.thriveinc.com/

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Resourceshttp://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/relationship-challenges/conflict-resolution/destructive-conflict-recognize-it-stop-it

http://www.personalityexplorer.com/freeresources/conflictmanagementtechniques.aspx

http://www.maximumadvantage.com/conflict-resolution-webinar/the-causes-of-conflict.html

https://smartkids101.com/blog/conflict-resolution-skills/

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Resourceshttp://smallbusiness.chron.com/examples-conflicts-

resolutions-workplace-11230.html

http://woman.thenest.com/examples-conflicts-

resolutions-workplace-15167.html

http://www.cios.org/encyclopedia/conflict/Cnature3_des

tructive.htm

https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/conflict-resolution.html