Date post: | 11-Jul-2015 |
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Leadership & Management |
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ConflictResolution:
10 Practical Clinical solutions
Prep Work: De-Escalate, Diffuse & Decompress
• Creating a safe place
• Assess for risk
• Balance of empathy & boundaries
• No “snowballing”
1)Become Rooted in the Presentthe Present
• Pause & get grounded
• Take thinking out of past & future
• Mindfulness practices
• Deep breathing, yoga
• Meditation (Kabat-Zinn, Deepak Chopra)
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Eckhart Tolle, “The Power of Now”
2)Avoid a Knee-Jerk Reaction
• Avoid a fight or flight response
• Avoid engaging in a tug-of-war
• Don’t lock horns
• Detach from ego
• Eckhart Tolle, “A New Earth”
3)Zoom Out & Gain Perspective
• A blip in time
• See the big picture
• Detachment
• Unhook from the minutia
4)Avoid Behaviors that Add Fuel to the Fire
• Dr. John Gottman (www.gottman.com)
• Criticism
• Contempt
• Stonewalling
• Defensiveness
5) “Observe, Don’t Absorb”
• Concept by Ross Rosenberg, author of The Human Magnet Syndrome
• YouTube video: shttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io15t9V5bXc
• Consider a “Reboot”
6)Focus on What you Can Control & Let Go of the Rest
• Can’t change other people
• Can’t control the outcome
• Can change your thoughts, behaviors, reactions
• “How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours,” Wayne Dyer.
7)Use Assertive Communication
• Neither passive, aggressive, nor passive-aggressive
• “I” statements
• Clear boundaries (cloudtownsend.com)
• No triangulation
8)Speak with Integrity• Speak from place of sadness rather than
anger
• Before speaking, ask yourself, “Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true?”
• Be the person you want to be regardless of how the other is behaving
9)Process the Grief• Clearing the grief clarifies the conflict
and expedites resolution--conflict is a way to stay connected to the relationship
• Grieving what could have been
• Work toward acceptance
10) Make Amends & Forgive& Forgive
• Take responsibility for yourself & make timely and sincere amends
• Practice forgiveness of self & others
• Resentment keeps us tethered to the past
• Anger affects mental & physical health
• “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies,” Nelson Mandela.
Joyce Marter, LCPCJoyce Marter, LCPC
www.joyce-marter.com
www.urbanbalance.com
[email protected]@Joyce_Marter
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