CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Objectives:

Understand the definition of conflict

Comprehend the differences between ‘disagreement’ and ‘conflict’

Understand the positive and negative impacts of conflict

Learn the different approaches to managing conflict

Learn how to control you anger

Activity: What do you understand by the term conflict?

Answer:

• To come into collision

• be contradictory

• or in opposition

Activity: What is the difference between disagreement and conflict?

Answer: Disagreement

When people disagree, it means that everyone involved knows what

everyone thinks.

People talk to each other about what they

disagree about, and everyone knows who is

on which side.

When people are in a conflict, it means that one

or more of the participants in the

conflict, often all, avoid or do not talk to each other.

Feelings are very strong and assumptions about

counterparties are steep.

Answer: Conflict

Activity: What some

common causes of

conflict at the work

place?

Answer: What some common causes conflict at the work place?

1. Conflicting resources2. Conflicting styles

3. Conflicting perceptions4. Conflicting goals

5. Conflicting pressures6. Conflicting roles

7. Different personal values8. Unpredictable policies

Activity: What are some positive and negative impacts of conflicts in the workplace?

Competition

Activity: Is competition considered a positive or negative conflict in the

workplace?

Competition

Competition can be a positive or negative conflict in the workplace,

depending on the situation.

Positive conflict

For example, two of the top sales people in the company competing to win a bonus for highest monthly

revenue will inspire higher productivity and some bad feelings.

But the confidence of each sales representative helps to turn those

bad feelings into even more motivation.

Competition

Negative conflict

A competition between the least productive

sales associate and the most productive sales associate can result in

negative conflicts based on frustration.

How to keep the conflict healthy: Spur Creativity

Leaders who choose to spur competition to motivate employees must be certain that the conflict can be contained.

Proactive people tend to motivate each other to perform at a higher level.

Sometimes that motivation can come in the form of arguing or confrontation, but the end result is that both parties should be

aware that they were pushed to their maximum productivity levels.

Personal Conflict

Bringing personal feelings and issues to the workplace always creates a

situation of negative conflict.

Personal issues in the workplace have nothing to do with employee

efficiency or company productivity.

The company becomes caught in the crossfire of a personal confrontation

that is only looking for a battleground.

How to solve personal conflict

Leaders needs to step into situations in which an employee threatens another worker or his job and remind the parties that personal conflict is not tolerated

in the workplace.

Human resources needs to log the issue, and leaders should consider

severe steps such as employee termination if the pattern persists.

Approaches to managing

conflict

Evaluate the Situation

Create an effective atmosphere: Take a moment to calm down and deal with your emotions. Look at the possible positive outcomes of

the conflict.

Create a Mutual Understanding: Quickly evaluate your wants and

needs, and those of the other party. Try to identify the real issue.

Focus on Individual and Shared Goals: Identify common ground.

Choose your steps

Think about the current conflict.

Is it really the root cause or is it just a symptom of a larger problem? (Most

often, it’s just a symptom.)

Create an Action Plan

Once you have some ideas on how to resolve the conflict, do a quick evaluation.

What do you want and need out of the solution?

What might the other party need?

Use these to sketch out a solution.

(Remember, if you’re going to propose a solution, the other party is going to want to know what’s in it for them, so

make sure you have something to offer.)

Create an Action Plan (con’t)

Have a backup plan, too, in case your approach doesn’t work.

This could be a different solution, a different way of presenting your original solution, or even a

proposal to move to a more complex resolution process.

Simply have some ideas in your back pocket in case your original approach doesn’t work.

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument

Thomas and Kilman (1972) developed a model that identified five common strategies or styles for dealing with conflict.

These styles have two basic dimensions:

Assertiveness, which relates to behaviors intended to satisfy one's own concerns. This dimension is also correlated to

attaining one's goals,

Cooperativeness, which relates to behaviors intended to satisfy the other individual's concerns. This dimension can also

be tracked as being concerned with relationships.

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument.

Using Styles Strategically

While every person can use all five styles at different times, we tend to prefer one or two habitual responses

in conflict situations.

For example, a person may unconsciously use the compromising style of approaching conflict even when the situation would move more quickly and effectively

if they were using an accommodating approach.

In order to be effective in conflict situation, you will need to learn to expand your use of conflict strategies.

Accommodating (Appeasement/Smoothing)

The accommodating style is unassertive and cooperative.

The goal of this stance is to yield/gain. Typically a person using this conflict mode neglects his

or her needs to satisfy the concerns of the other person.

There is an element of self-sacrifice and this stance is concerned with preserving the relationship versus

attaining goals.

Accommodating

Example:

Catch phrase: "It's ok with me, whatever you want."

Pro : Can preserve harmonious relationships, can admit there is a better way

Con : Can lead to resentment by not getting your needs met, can diminish your influence, martyr

stance

Competing (Forcing / Dominant)

The Competing style is a power-oriented mode that is high in assertiveness and low in cooperativeness.

The goal of this stance is to win. In this mode the individual aims to pursue one's agenda at another's

expense.

This may mean standing up for one's needs, defending a cherished position and/or simply trying to win. The

goal is deemed very important.

Catch phrase: "My way or the highway."

Pro : Decisive, assertive, addresses personal needs

Con : Can damage relationships, shut others down

Competing

Example

Avoiding (Flight)

The avoiding style is both unassertive and uncooperative.

The goal of this stance is to delay.

In this mode an individual does not immediately pursue his or her concerns or those of another. There is indifference to the outcome to the issue and the

relationship and the person withdraws or postpones dealing with the conflict.

This style can provide a needed respite from the situation or it can inflame things if the issue keeps being pushed

aside.

Catch phrase: "I will think about it tomorrow."

Pro : Doesn't sweat the small stuff, delays may be useful

Con : Avoidance builds up and then blows, important issues don´t get dealt with, it can take more energy to avoid then deal at times

Collaborate (Problem solving / Integrative style)

The collaborating style is both assertive and cooperative. The goal of this stance is to find a win-

win situation.

Typically this mode is concerned with finding creative solutions to issues that satisfy both individual's

concerns.

Learning, listening and attending to both the organizational and personal issues are addressed with this conflict style. It takes time and effort.

Catch phrase: "Two heads are better than one."

Pro : Finds the best solution for everyone, which leads to high commitment, higher creativity in problem solving, team-building

Con : Takes time and energy; if applied to all conflicts it can be draining and unnecessary

Compromise (Sharing)

The compromising style lands one right in the middle of being assertive and cooperative.

The goal of this stance is to find a quick middle ground. Parties find an expedient, mutually

acceptable solution by having each person give up something and split the difference.

Catch phrase: "Let's make a deal."

Pro: Fixes things quickly, satisfies needs of both parties, finds temporary settlements to complex issues, has backup up strategy when competition or collaboration fails

Con: Can play games, bypass longer-term solutions, compromises found may be dissatisfying and may need to be revisited

Handling difficult people

Remember, you can only control your response to the conflict, not the outcome.

Sometimes people are just difficult and nothing you can do will change this reality.

How to deal with difficult people

Remember that successful conflict resolution depends on effective communication

• Address the situation immediately, directly and respectfully

• Speak directly to the person and not to someone else about another person's behavior

• Separate individuals from the problems. Remind

yourself that the problem is the issue or relationship, not the individuals themselves

• Objectively try to understand what is behind the difficult person's actions rather than reacting right away

• Examine your own contributions to the situation

• Be clear in all your communication so the situation is not further complicated with misunderstandings

• Discuss the issue using "I" statements (for instance, "I feel uncomfortable when you...")

• Reinforce any positive changes (even small ones) made by the difficult person

How to deal with difficult people (con’t)

When this type of discussion is conducted successfully, it results in far more than a simple change in how you address the situation or your

use of language.

Remain open and curious: you have so much to learn from each other.

Conflict strategies, however, are one side of the coin; how you handle communication in relation

to conflict is the corresponding side.

Communication in conflict

Here are some

additional tools that can

help you resolve

conflicts.

Stress and Anger Management Techniques

Being well equipped with some stress and anger management techniques can help you stay

calm during the conflict resolution process.

Nothing is going to get solved when either (or both) parties

are angry and upset.

Stress and Anger Management Techniques

Here are 10 tips to help keep you cool during the conflict resolution process:

1. Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later

regret. Take a few moments to collect

your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do

the same.

2. Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your

frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way.

State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or

trying to control them.

3. Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause

you to become angry.

If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk

walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable

physical activities.

4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren't just for kids.

Give yourself short breaks during times of the day

that tend to be stressful.

A few moments of quiet time might help you feel

better prepared to handle what's ahead without

getting irritated or angry.

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the

issue at hand.

Does your colleague’s messy table drive you crazy?

Introduce some sort of organizing devices for him/her.

Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make

it worse.

6. Stick with 'I' statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame - which might only increase tension - use "I" statements to describe the

problem.

Be respectful and specific.

For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the office without offering to help with the extra work load ," instead of, "You never do any extra work around

here!."

7. Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive

feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness

or sense of injustice.

But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn

from the situation.

It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all

times.

8. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension.

Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations

you have for how things should go.

Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings

and make things worse.

9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work.

Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing

scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it

easy."

You might also listen to music, — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at

times.

Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger

seems out of control, causes you to do things

you regret or hurts those around you.u.

William Ellery Channing: Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow

strong by conflict.

The End