Objectives:
Understand the definition of conflict
Comprehend the differences between ‘disagreement’ and ‘conflict’
Understand the positive and negative impacts of conflict
Learn the different approaches to managing conflict
Learn how to control you anger
Answer: Disagreement
When people disagree, it means that everyone involved knows what
everyone thinks.
People talk to each other about what they
disagree about, and everyone knows who is
on which side.
When people are in a conflict, it means that one
or more of the participants in the
conflict, often all, avoid or do not talk to each other.
Feelings are very strong and assumptions about
counterparties are steep.
Answer: Conflict
Answer: What some common causes conflict at the work place?
1. Conflicting resources2. Conflicting styles
3. Conflicting perceptions4. Conflicting goals
5. Conflicting pressures6. Conflicting roles
7. Different personal values8. Unpredictable policies
Competition
Competition can be a positive or negative conflict in the workplace,
depending on the situation.
Positive conflict
For example, two of the top sales people in the company competing to win a bonus for highest monthly
revenue will inspire higher productivity and some bad feelings.
But the confidence of each sales representative helps to turn those
bad feelings into even more motivation.
Competition
Negative conflict
A competition between the least productive
sales associate and the most productive sales associate can result in
negative conflicts based on frustration.
How to keep the conflict healthy: Spur Creativity
Leaders who choose to spur competition to motivate employees must be certain that the conflict can be contained.
Proactive people tend to motivate each other to perform at a higher level.
Sometimes that motivation can come in the form of arguing or confrontation, but the end result is that both parties should be
aware that they were pushed to their maximum productivity levels.
Personal Conflict
Bringing personal feelings and issues to the workplace always creates a
situation of negative conflict.
Personal issues in the workplace have nothing to do with employee
efficiency or company productivity.
The company becomes caught in the crossfire of a personal confrontation
that is only looking for a battleground.
How to solve personal conflict
Leaders needs to step into situations in which an employee threatens another worker or his job and remind the parties that personal conflict is not tolerated
in the workplace.
Human resources needs to log the issue, and leaders should consider
severe steps such as employee termination if the pattern persists.
Evaluate the Situation
Create an effective atmosphere: Take a moment to calm down and deal with your emotions. Look at the possible positive outcomes of
the conflict.
Create a Mutual Understanding: Quickly evaluate your wants and
needs, and those of the other party. Try to identify the real issue.
Focus on Individual and Shared Goals: Identify common ground.
Choose your steps
Think about the current conflict.
Is it really the root cause or is it just a symptom of a larger problem? (Most
often, it’s just a symptom.)
Create an Action Plan
Once you have some ideas on how to resolve the conflict, do a quick evaluation.
What do you want and need out of the solution?
What might the other party need?
Use these to sketch out a solution.
(Remember, if you’re going to propose a solution, the other party is going to want to know what’s in it for them, so
make sure you have something to offer.)
Create an Action Plan (con’t)
Have a backup plan, too, in case your approach doesn’t work.
This could be a different solution, a different way of presenting your original solution, or even a
proposal to move to a more complex resolution process.
Simply have some ideas in your back pocket in case your original approach doesn’t work.
Thomas and Kilman (1972) developed a model that identified five common strategies or styles for dealing with conflict.
These styles have two basic dimensions:
Assertiveness, which relates to behaviors intended to satisfy one's own concerns. This dimension is also correlated to
attaining one's goals,
Cooperativeness, which relates to behaviors intended to satisfy the other individual's concerns. This dimension can also
be tracked as being concerned with relationships.
Using Styles Strategically
While every person can use all five styles at different times, we tend to prefer one or two habitual responses
in conflict situations.
For example, a person may unconsciously use the compromising style of approaching conflict even when the situation would move more quickly and effectively
if they were using an accommodating approach.
In order to be effective in conflict situation, you will need to learn to expand your use of conflict strategies.
Accommodating (Appeasement/Smoothing)
The accommodating style is unassertive and cooperative.
The goal of this stance is to yield/gain. Typically a person using this conflict mode neglects his
or her needs to satisfy the concerns of the other person.
There is an element of self-sacrifice and this stance is concerned with preserving the relationship versus
attaining goals.
Accommodating
Example:
Catch phrase: "It's ok with me, whatever you want."
Pro : Can preserve harmonious relationships, can admit there is a better way
Con : Can lead to resentment by not getting your needs met, can diminish your influence, martyr
stance
Competing (Forcing / Dominant)
The Competing style is a power-oriented mode that is high in assertiveness and low in cooperativeness.
The goal of this stance is to win. In this mode the individual aims to pursue one's agenda at another's
expense.
This may mean standing up for one's needs, defending a cherished position and/or simply trying to win. The
goal is deemed very important.
Catch phrase: "My way or the highway."
Pro : Decisive, assertive, addresses personal needs
Con : Can damage relationships, shut others down
Competing
Example
Avoiding (Flight)
The avoiding style is both unassertive and uncooperative.
The goal of this stance is to delay.
In this mode an individual does not immediately pursue his or her concerns or those of another. There is indifference to the outcome to the issue and the
relationship and the person withdraws or postpones dealing with the conflict.
This style can provide a needed respite from the situation or it can inflame things if the issue keeps being pushed
aside.
Catch phrase: "I will think about it tomorrow."
Pro : Doesn't sweat the small stuff, delays may be useful
Con : Avoidance builds up and then blows, important issues don´t get dealt with, it can take more energy to avoid then deal at times
Collaborate (Problem solving / Integrative style)
The collaborating style is both assertive and cooperative. The goal of this stance is to find a win-
win situation.
Typically this mode is concerned with finding creative solutions to issues that satisfy both individual's
concerns.
Learning, listening and attending to both the organizational and personal issues are addressed with this conflict style. It takes time and effort.
Catch phrase: "Two heads are better than one."
Pro : Finds the best solution for everyone, which leads to high commitment, higher creativity in problem solving, team-building
Con : Takes time and energy; if applied to all conflicts it can be draining and unnecessary
Compromise (Sharing)
The compromising style lands one right in the middle of being assertive and cooperative.
The goal of this stance is to find a quick middle ground. Parties find an expedient, mutually
acceptable solution by having each person give up something and split the difference.
Catch phrase: "Let's make a deal."
Pro: Fixes things quickly, satisfies needs of both parties, finds temporary settlements to complex issues, has backup up strategy when competition or collaboration fails
Con: Can play games, bypass longer-term solutions, compromises found may be dissatisfying and may need to be revisited
Handling difficult people
Remember, you can only control your response to the conflict, not the outcome.
Sometimes people are just difficult and nothing you can do will change this reality.
How to deal with difficult people
Remember that successful conflict resolution depends on effective communication
• Address the situation immediately, directly and respectfully
• Speak directly to the person and not to someone else about another person's behavior
• Separate individuals from the problems. Remind
yourself that the problem is the issue or relationship, not the individuals themselves
• Objectively try to understand what is behind the difficult person's actions rather than reacting right away
• Examine your own contributions to the situation
• Be clear in all your communication so the situation is not further complicated with misunderstandings
• Discuss the issue using "I" statements (for instance, "I feel uncomfortable when you...")
• Reinforce any positive changes (even small ones) made by the difficult person
How to deal with difficult people (con’t)
When this type of discussion is conducted successfully, it results in far more than a simple change in how you address the situation or your
use of language.
Remain open and curious: you have so much to learn from each other.
Conflict strategies, however, are one side of the coin; how you handle communication in relation
to conflict is the corresponding side.
Communication in conflict
Stress and Anger Management Techniques
Being well equipped with some stress and anger management techniques can help you stay
calm during the conflict resolution process.
Nothing is going to get solved when either (or both) parties
are angry and upset.
Stress and Anger Management Techniques
Here are 10 tips to help keep you cool during the conflict resolution process:
1. Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later
regret. Take a few moments to collect
your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do
the same.
2. Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your
frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way.
State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or
trying to control them.
3. Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause
you to become angry.
If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk
walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable
physical activities.
4. Take a timeout
Timeouts aren't just for kids.
Give yourself short breaks during times of the day
that tend to be stressful.
A few moments of quiet time might help you feel
better prepared to handle what's ahead without
getting irritated or angry.
5. Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the
issue at hand.
Does your colleague’s messy table drive you crazy?
Introduce some sort of organizing devices for him/her.
Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make
it worse.
6. Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame - which might only increase tension - use "I" statements to describe the
problem.
Be respectful and specific.
For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the office without offering to help with the extra work load ," instead of, "You never do any extra work around
here!."
7. Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive
feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness
or sense of injustice.
But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn
from the situation.
It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all
times.
8. Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension.
Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations
you have for how things should go.
Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings
and make things worse.
9. Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work.
Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing
scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it
easy."
You might also listen to music, — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
10. Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at
times.
Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger
seems out of control, causes you to do things
you regret or hurts those around you.u.