Welcome toTools and Techniques
for Managing and Resolving Conflict
Amanda MurphyProject and Research Specialist,
The William D. Ruckelshaus CenterExtension Faculty, Washington State University
Phone: (206) 219-2409E-mail:[email protected]
www.RuckelshausCenter.wsu.edu
Mission
• Neutral resource for collaborative problem solving• Expertise that improves the availability and quality of
voluntary collaborative approaches. • Help public, private, tribal, non-profit and other
community leaders work together, build consensus and resolve public policy conflicts.
• Advance teaching and research missions of the two universities by bringing real-world policy issues to the academic setting.
Services• Neutral Forum• Situation Assessment• Facilitation, Mediation, Conflict
Resolution• Project Management, Strategic Planning• Applied Research • Information Portal• Training• Policy Discussions
Webinar Series
Session 1: Understanding and Responding to Conflict - July 18, 2012
Session 2: Effective Communication: The basis of conflict resolution - July 25, 2012
Session 3: A Framework for Problem
Solving - August 1, 2012
Where are you located?
What department/area do you work in?
What’s one thing you hope to learn from this session?
What is Conflict?
Definition: A conflict occurs when two or more parties perceive that they have mutually incompatible values, priorities or goals.
Steps to Resolving Conflict
1. Understand the Conflict
2. Create a Positive Atmosphere
3. Develop a Mutual Understanding
4. Problem Solve
Session 2 Objectives• Define Communication
• Introduce Communication and Problem Solving Tool
• Introduce Skills for Communication To Others
• Introduce Skills for Receiving Communication From Others
Think of a time when you had a positive experience communicating with someone.
What was working?
Now think of a time when you had a negative experience communicating with
someone. What wasn't working?
SENDER RECEIVER
MESSAGE
FEEDBACK
DECODE
ENCODEDECODE
What is Communication?
ENCODE
CHANNEL
What Do You See?
Why is Communication Difficult?
“Whenever two people meet there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other sees him, and each man as
he really is.” – William James
Communication Roadblocks
• Perceptions• Stereotypes• Gender Differences• Linguistical Styles• Word Choice and Meaning• Hiding Information• Negative Reactions• Sending Solutions• Diverting
Basic Skills of Communication
Communicating TO Others
Receiving Communication FROM Others
Ways To Improve Communication Skills?
• Becoming more aware of our own thinking and reasoning
• Making our thinking and reasoning more visible to others
• Inquiring into others’ thinking and reasoning
Awareness Wheel:Communication & Problem Solving Tool
From: Core Communication: Skills and Processes, Miller, S. and Miller P. 1997, Interpersonal Communication Programs
Communicating To Others:“I” Statements
What meaning does it hold for
you?
How do you feel?
What do you want?
What are you willing
to do?
What do you see and hear?
I OBSERVE I THINKI FEEL
I WANT
I DO
Complete “I” Message INVITATION
Invite the person to join you in a specific conversation.
“Hey John. Id like to talk with you about the grant proposal, is this a good time to talk?”
OBSERVATIONDescribe the facts – what you see, hear, smell, touch, taste.
“When I saw the grant proposal on my desk with the note you left asking I complete it by Friday...”
FEELING Describe how you feel. “I felt overwhelmed...”
THINKING Communicate your thoughts
“Because I think this is an unrealistic timeframe given the amount of information required to complete the proposal...”
WANTS Communicate what you want.
“And I want to ask you to help with the budget pages...”
ACTIONS What you intend to do, did, are doing.
“So that I can focus my attention on writing the rest of the content sections of the proposal, and can submit it before the deadline.”“What are your thoughts on this approach?”
Watch Out For:
• Pejoratives and Over-Generalisations• Shoulds • You Statements• I feel that you... I fell like he/she...• ‘But’. The ‘verbal eraser’• Paraverbal Messages
Receiving Communication From Others
You are going to draw a picture.
Listen to my instructions and draw what you hear.
You may not ask me or others with you any questions.
Is This What You Drew?
What Made This Task Difficult?
Active Listening: Listening to Understand
To gain understanding before moving to action
By helping someone say exactly what he or she really means
On The Road To Conflict Resolution, Listening Is
The Superhighway.
Active Listening Skills
• Be Present• Attend and Acknowledge
• Be Responsive• Ask Questions • Provide Feedback
Be Present
The video you are about to watch is of two teams playing basketball.
Count the number of passes completed by the white team.
Be Present:Attend & Acknowledge
• Give your full attention• Listen and wait to respond• Set aside your own concerns• Listen for information according to the Awareness Wheel• Use verbal and non-verbal acknowledgments
Be Responsive:Ask Questions
• Closed Questions– “Don’t you agree?”
• Open Questions– “In what ways is your view different?”
• Probing– “You mentioned you disagree with…can you
expand on that?”• Why
– “Why don’t you agree?”
Be Responsive:Ask Questions
Draw the Speaker Out
Gain More Information
Refocus the Discussion
Show Respect
Introduce Information
Eighty percent of all questions are statements in disguise.
– Dr. Phil McGraw
“I’d like to hear a little more about that?”
“What led you to that conclusion?”
“What's the problem we are trying to solve?”
“Is there anything else you think I should know that would help me understand your position on this?”
“What would you think if we did…” “Do you see any flaws in my reasoning?”
Be Responsive:Provide Feedback
• Reflect (Paraphrase)– “So, when that incident happened, you felt like….”– “What I think I’m hearing is that you really need….”
• Reframe– Speaker: “He’s a two-faced liar!”– Listener: “You value honesty in human relations.”
• Summarize– Let me share what I think I heard and please correct
me if I am wrong.
Active Listening: Use the Awareness Wheel
What do they think?
What meaning does it hold for them?
How do they feel?
What do they want?
What will they do,
want done?
What did they see, hear?
OBSERVE THINK FEEL
WANT
DO
Attributes of Effective Communication to Resolve Conflict
• Problem Oriented, Not Person Oriented
• Descriptive, Not Evaluative
• Specific, Not General
• Conjunctive, Not Disjunctive
• Validating, Not Demeaning
• Owned, Not Disowned
• Two-Way, Not One-Way
Session Recap
Steps to Resolving Conflict:1. Understand the Conflict• Analyze the conflict situation – what is the cause?• Identify the appropriate conflict resolution style.
2. Create A Positive Atmosphere• CA2RE – neutralize your emotions and the other
person’s emotions3. Develop a Mutual Understanding• Using communication skills to gain information and
understanding.
Next Session
4. Problem Solve• Using the problem solving framework.
