Curb Your Enthusiasm Larry Goes to Chipotle

7/30/2019 Curb Your Enthusiasm Larry Goes to Chipotle

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Curb Your Enthusiasm Larry Goes to Chipotle

By

Eric Mann


2/36

INT. MEXICAN RESTAURANT- DAY

Larry sits in an empty Mexican restaurant chowing down on amassive burrito. He signals to a young Mexican guy gettinghis attention.

LARRYJorge! Jorge!

JORGESi?

LARRYJorge if its not too much to askcan I get a little bit moreguacamole?

JORGESi Larry, of course. For you? Of

course.

Larry puts his hands out to the side and smirks.

LARRYGracias Jorge. Really, gracias.Take your time Jorge. No rush here!

JORGENo problemo Larry.

Jorge goes to the kitchen in the back to get more guacamole.

Larry is about to take another bite of his burrito when hisphone rings.

LARRYHey Jeff, listen tomorrow drop yourplans I gotta take you to thisMexican restaurant itsunbelievable. Its the best Mexicanin Los Angeles.

Larry listens to Jeff for a few seconds on the phone.

LARRY(CONTD)Right, 9 your house tonight. ShouldI bring anything? No? Ok. Ok. Bye.

Jorge comes back out with a massive bowl of guacamole forLarry.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 2.

LARRY(CONTD)Holy guacamole! Thats a lot ofguac there.

JORGESi Larry, for you of course.

LARRYYou know, you got something goodhere you know that?

JORGESi Larry.

LARRYReally you do. Im gonna bring youmore business to come.

JORGE

Gracias Larry. You are generous.

LARRYEhh, cmon Jorge, for you ofcourse!

JORGEMuch appreciated Larry.

LARRYStop it. Come on now.

Larry gets back to his burrito and keeps eating.

Time passes and Larry is cleaning his teeth with atoothpick.

LARRY(CONTD)Ok Jorge, Im going, but Ill beback tomorrow.

JORGESi. Adios Larry.

LARRYAdios.

Larry leaves a nice size tip on the table and walks out ofthe restaurant.


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3.

STREET- DAY

Larry walks down the street extremely content with the mealhe just had. He sees an attractive woman walk by, so heshoots her a smile.

She puts her head down and keeps walking faster.

Larry looks back at her confused as she walks by; he cleanshis teeth with a toothpick.

Another woman, not as attractive, starts to walk past Larry.He smiles at her, but she responds with a face of disgustand keeps walking.

Larry cant believe it. He throws his toothpick on theground and keeps walking.

From far away he sees another woman about to walk past him.He prepares to give her a nice smile.

She gets closer and Larry smiles at her from a distance. Sheputs her head down and starts to walk past him.

Larry starts to keep walking but decides to follow her.

LARRYExcuse me, excuse me Ms.

WOMANYes?

LARRYWhat was that?

WOMANWhat was what?

LARRYI shot you a smile as a nicegesture and you put your head down.Why?

WOMANThat wasnt a nice smile.

Larry becomes upset.

LARRYYoure going to tell me that wasnta nice smile? Im pretty sure thatthe smile I sent you was purelyappropriate for a walk by strangersmile.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 4.

WOMANNo, it was creepy. You look creepysmiling at people down the street.

LARRYIm the creep?! Youre the one that

wont smile back! I thought afriendly smile would be nice! Butno! Im the strange one for givingyou a smile! Its a friendlygesture. You know it would be niceif you would smile back! Its humanetiquette.

WOMANWhatever.

The woman starts to walk away from Larry.

LARRYYoure going to walk away from me!?Smile at people once in a while!

Larry starts to follow her.

LARRY(CONTD)I just dont understand. How can Ibe the creepy one when you wonteven smile at anyone on the street?In society its frowned upon not toreturn a smile, you know that?

She starts to walk faster, Larry follows her pursuit.

LARRY(CONTD)Hey! Hey you hear me!?

She starts to run, so does Larry.

LARRY(CONTD)Dont be rude, Im not strange! Imnot creepy!

He slows down, out of breath, and leans on his knees to tryto catch his breath.

Another woman walks past Larry, looking at him with disgust.

Larry tries to smile at her, but she gives him an evil starewhile she holds on close to her purse and walks right pasthim.

Larry puts his hands up and shakes his head defeated.


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5.

EXT. JEFF AND SUSIES HOUSE- NIGHT

Larry shows up to the door empty handed to Jeff and Susieshouse. He walks straight inside.

INT. JEFF AND SUSIES HOME- NIGHT

Larry closes the door behind him.

LARRYHoney! Im home!

Everyone greets Larrys entrance.

SUSIEHey Lar. Just in time, were aboutto start the appetizers.

LARRYI missed all the schmoozing time?

SUSIEYep.

LARRYPerfect.

Jeff comes up to Larry.

JEFFDont get your hopes up Larry,

youre not off the hook.

LARRYYes Jeff, I believe I am. Ispecifically made myself later thaneveryone else so I dont have toschmooze.

JEFFI need you to schmooze Larry.

LARRYI am a guest in your house youwouldnt make the guest cleandishes now would you?

JEFFYou son of a bitch.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 6.

LARRYWould you?

JEFF(Hesitantly)

No.

LARRYThen you cant ask me to schmooze.

Jeff leans closer to Larrys ear.

JEFF(CONTD)(Whispers)

Listen, I need you Larry, I got apotential client here tonight. Heis going to be a star! Unbelievableguy, I just need you to seal thedeal for me though.

LARRYNo.

JEFFWhat Larry?

Susie walks over.

SUSIEWhats wrong Jeff?

JEFFLarry wont schmooze for me.

SUSIEWhat the fuck Larry?

LARRYWhat? If I dont want to schmooze Ishouldnt have to.

SUSIEAfter everything Jeff has done foryou, you treat him like fuckingshit, you know that? Youresupposed to be his friend Larry. Isthis how you treat your fuckingfriend?

LARRYWell is this how an agent treatshis star client? Having him do allhis dirty work? Using him?!

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 7.

SUSIEYoure fucking unbelievable Larry,you know that? Unbelievable.

LARRYI am aware.

Susie walks away in disgust.

JEFFAlright Larry, I see how it is. Iguess I need to cancel our lunchdate tomorrow at the Mexicanrestaurant.

LARRYHey! Its not just a Mexicanrestaurant. Its El Meson and trustme, you would be upset with

yourself. I told Jorge I wouldbring him business.

MIKEUpset with what?

Larry looks over his shoulder at a man he doesnt know. Helooks at Jeff who is pleading with Larry to talk to this manwith his eyes.

Larry gives in and rolls his eyes, Jeff smiles.

LARRY

(Against his will)This Mexican restaurant called ElMeson has the best burrito I haveEVER had.

MIKEEh, I dont know about that. Ithink Chipotle has the best burritoanywhere.

LARRYHow could you possibly compareauthenticity to a fast food place?Thats absurd.

MIKESomething about Chipotle just doesit for me.

Susie clinks a glass on the table.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 8.

SUSIEDinner is served, take your seats!

Mike, Larry and Jeff start to move towards the table to takea seat.

MIKEChipotle is just the best you know?Everything about it is just sofresh and delicious.

LARRYEh.

MIKECome on, youre going to tell methat you dont like something atChipotle?

LARRYIve actually never been.

MIKEWhat!?

Everyone looks at Mike.

SUSIEWhats up Mike?

MIKELarry has never been to Chipotle!

Jeff shakes his head in disgust at Larry, while the rest ofthe table starts to murmur in outrage.

SUSIEYouve got to be kidding me Larry?

LARRYI dont want Chipotle. If I wantMexican food, I go to the Mexicans.They know how to do it best, notAmericans pretending to beMexican. Its not the same, itsjust not authentic.

JEFFI dont even know how we are stillfriends. Chipotle is unbelievable!

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 9.

SUSIEYeah Jeff, we can all tell you loveyour Chipotle!

JEFFThis isnt about me Susie, its

about the Chipotle hater.

MIKEYou gotta go Larry.

LARRYI cant, Im loyal to my place. Itwould be a catastrophe for me toswitch over now.

Everyone tells Larry he has to go by yelling at him.

LARRY(CONTD)

Im happy youre all in love withyour American trash food, but Ithink Im gonna stick to my place.

MIKELarry, cmon now. You have to trytheir queso sauce in a burrito withguacamole, your taste buds willthank me for this.

Everyone laughs.

Mike goes into his wallet and pulls out a free burrito card.

MIKE(CONTD)Here, its on me. You wont bewasting any money you can throw theburrito out if you truly dont wantit.

Larry shakes his head debating this situation.

LARRYAlright fine.

He takes the free Chipotle card from Mike and puts it intohis wallet.

Everyone starts to eat the food at the table.

Larry looks down in Susies vicinity and smiles at her. Shelooks at Larry disgusted.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 10.

SUSIEWhat the fuck are you smiling atLarry?

LARRYWhat? I cant just smile at you?

Youre the hostess I cant smile atyou? Is that so crazy?

SUSIEIt is Larry. You look fuckingridiculous.

JEFF(To Larry)

Yeah, you never smile at Susie. Youguys are frenemies.

LARRY

Frenemies? Is that what we are now?Look at me, thinking we were justfriends but no, frenemies. Can youfind that word in the dictionary?Would it have a picture of me andSusie in there?

JEFFIt probably would. There would be asentence underneath the picturesaying, "Larry and Susie never areon the same page even when it comesto smiling."

LARRYIs that so?

JEFFYes, your picture would probablyalso be shown under the wordsignorant and smart-ass.

LARRYYeah youre probably right.

Everyone laughs at the table and keeps eating.

Larry takes a bite of his food and looks up at everyonestuffing their faces with food.

The only other person not eating is a woman next to Mike.She smiles at Larry.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 11.

Larry cant believe she is smiling at him. He points athimself and, non-verbally, motions to her, to make sure sheis smiling at him.

She nods at him and he smiles back contently. She blushes alittle bit.

Larry is a little confused but happy about the situation. Hegets back to eating his food.

INT. LARRYS HOME- DAY

Larry is reading a newspaper, when Leon comes into the room.

LARRYHey! Whats going on Leon?

LEON

Not too much Larry, whats going onwith you?

LARRYSame routine.

LEONGood Larry, important to keep thesame routine. Makes lifeconsistent.

LARRYYou have a routine?

LEONHell mother fucking no Larry! Imspontaneous.

LARRYYou? Youre spontaneous?

LEONMotha fucking right I am Larry. Youbetter watch yourself.

LARRYAnd Im not spontaneous?

LEONLook at you Larry! Every motherfucking morning reading that paper.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 12.

LARRYEvery mother fucking morning youcome in here, is that not aroutine?

LEON

Not every morning Larry, not everymorning.

LARRYAlright well..

Larry gets back to reading his newspaper.

LARRY(CONTD)Oh so listen to this. Last night Iwas at Jeffs for a dinner party.

LEON

I dont wanna listen Larry.

LARRYWhat? Why?

LEONHonestly, I dont get why I neverget the invite over to those mothafucking dinner parties. What, theythink Im gonna steal some shit orsomething? Larry, tell me is itcause Im black?

LARRYNo Leon, youre just not friendswith them.

LEONCause Im black Larry.

LARRYI cant believe that youre pullingthe race card right now in my ownhome.

LEONWhy is that?

LARRYCause were not so different youand I.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 13.

LEONYeah, how so?

LARRYYou know, the Jews and the Blackshave a lot in common.

LEONPsh Larry, we got shit in common.

LARRYWe were both slaves, right? We bothare hated and blamed for the worldsproblems.

LEONAlright two things in common.

LARRY

Two pretty, pretty, pretty bigthings. Our cards kind of cancelout dont you think? You can finishthe same sentence with either Jewor black watch. Is it because ImJewish!? Now for you its the sameidea but just word it a littledifferently. Psh is it cause Imblack! See not so different.

LEONYou make a valid point Larry.

LARRYThank you. So listen to this, lastnight at the dinner party thiswoman was smiling at me across thetable. I think it may be Jeffs newclients wife though. I mean I havenever seen her there before so theymust be a package.

LEONShe smiled at you?

LARRYYes Im sure.

LEONYou smiled back?

LARRYOf course I did. You know the otherday I tried smiling at women on the

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 14.

LARRY (contd)street and they looked at me like,I was crazy.

LEONLet me see you smile Larry.

Larry smiles at Leon and Leon is taken back by it wide-eyed.

LEON(CONTD)Is that how you mother fuckingsmile Larry?

LARRYYeah so?

LEONWhoa! You need some work son.

LARRYWhat? Whats wrong with my smile?Ive been told I have nice teeth.The dentist tells me how Im hisbest client. I make it easy on him.

LEONGood teeth dont mean you dontsmile like a stalker Larry.

LARRYA stalker!?

LEONHell mother fucking yes Larry. If Isaw you smiling at me down thestreet, I would make sure I got mywallet and knife in hand cause thatshit is scary.

LARRYWell, I dont know what to do. Showme.

LEONAlright come here.

The two of them walk in front of the mirror and look atthemselves for a moment.

LEON(CONTD)Now the important thing you gottado is you gotta act cool. Youremotha fucking Larry David and

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 15.

LEON(CONTD) (contd)bitches best be happy to get asmile from you.

LARRYYeah! Yeah I am mother fucking

Larry David.

LEONThere we go Larry, get in the mindset. Squint your eyes and make asmall kissing face and transitionthat into a smile. Like this.

Leon makes the face and he looks smooth doing so. Larry isin agreement with Leon.

LARRYLet me try.

Larry starts making the face.

LEONThere we go Larry. Yeah, muchbetter. Look at you fly as fuck,yeah!

LARRYYeah! Im Larry David.

LEONYeah Larry you got it now. You walk

around, down the streets, anywhere,people be smiling back at you. Youare officially Leon approved. Lar,you officially got swag.

LARRYYeah, I do? I do. Yeah I want to gotest it out. How about you comewith me to Chipotle and on the wayhome we smile at people and anyonewho smiles back we invite to adinner party here.

LEONYou like Chipotle?

LARRYIm forced to go, I feel bad I wassupposed to take Jeff to my Mexicanrestaurant but I have to go here.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 16.

LEONSounds like you got appetitebullied.

LARRYAppetite bullied?

LEONCmon Larry.

Larry looks confused.

LEON(CONTD)You dont want to eat somewhere butsomeone forces you to go, evenagainst your will. Motha fucka bebullying you Larry.

LARRY

Yeah youre right! I did getbullied. But I have to go, he gaveme a free burrito card.

Leon laughs.

LARRY(CONTD)Whats so funny?

LEONYou got a double whammy Larry. Yougot bullied and appetite guiltedinto going. This mother fucking

dude got you good.

LARRY(shocked)

He appetite guilted me! Cheap man,this guy. And get this, he is anunsolicited writer. I wonder if hepersuaded Jeff to take him on.

LEONThis guy sounds like trouble Larry.

LARRYYeah he does. Alright, well atleast for Jeff I have to go.


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17.

EXT. CHIPOTLE

Larry and Leon pull up in Larrys Hybrid in front ofChipotle. Larry turns off the car and starts to get out, butLeon doesnt.

LARRYWhats the matter?

LEONNo way am I going in there.

LARRYWhy?

LEONI go to Qdoba. I aint a Chipotleguy Larry. Where do you seeChipotles Larry?

LARRYWhere?

LEONWhite suburban areas in motherfucking shopping malls in between JCrew and the Gap. Qdoba. now thatmother fucker is for us blacks,they no how to sell us, baby.

LARRYReally? Theres a difference?

LEONHell yeah Larry. They stack theburrito with twice as much meat,Larry. Twice as much.

LARRYAlright, well watch the car.

Larry gets out of the car and walks into Chipotle.

INT. CHIPOTLE- DAY

There is a long line at the counter for Chipotle, people areyelling orders and everything is moving really fast. Larrylooks around and is very confused.

He walks up to the register and the people online tell himto go to the back. He listens.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 18.

Larry is waiting on a long line looking around at the peopleordering.

They seem to have a knack for how it works and everyone getstheir burrito in an orderly fashion.

Larry gets up to the counter and doesnt know where tobegin.

The worker impatiently stares at him in his own littleworld.

CHIPOTLE WORKERYes?

LARRYHi, how are you doing?

CHIPOTLE WORKER

Good, what do you want?

LARRYI think Ill have a burrito.

CHIPOTLE WORKERBrown or white?

LARRYExcuse me?

CHIPOTLE WORKERWhat type of rice?

LARRYOh I didnt know you were talkingabout rice. Which is better?

CHIPOTLE WORKERHave you ever had rice before?

LARRYYes.

CHIPOTLE WORKERAll rice is the same. Its rice.

LARRYIll have the white then.

She starts to put white rice on the burrito.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 19.

LARRY(CONTD)Eh. Actually I probably shouldntyou know? Brown is healthier. I gotto watch my figure, you know?

Larry taps his stomach twice.

The worker does not seem enthused by Larry.

CHIPOTLE WORKERWhat else?

LARRYWhat do you think I should put on?

CHIPOTLE WORKER(Upset)

What do you like sir?

LARRYI dont know. I like everything.

A man behind Larry makes a hissing noise that gets Larrysattention.

LARRY(CONTD)Im sorry sir, am I bothering you?

MANYeah youre taking an hour to makea burrito.

LARRYWell Im not sure what I want for aburrito yet, is that ok that I takemy time?

MANIts the same every time, just tellher what you want and she does it.It is supposed to be fast.

LARRYIm allowed to take as much time asI want. Now.

Larry turns back to the Chipotle Worker.

LARRY(CONTD)Which do you prefer, the medium orthe hot sauce?

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 20.

MANYou have got to be kidding me.

Larry turns back to the man.

LARRY

Im sorry am I not allowed to ask aquestion?

MANGo ahead. My mother told me thereis no such thing as a stupidquestions, even though that onemakes me doubt everything elseshes ever told me.

LARRYOh so now you bring your motherinto it,Im sorry, Ive never had

Chipotle before!

The man laughs.

MANWait, youve never had Chipotle?Well that explains a lot about you.

CHIPOTLE WORKER(Disgusted)

Youve never had Chipotle?

LARRY

What is that supposed to mean? Idont like to go to chain Mexicanplaces. You cant judge me, youresupposed to help me.

CHIPOTLE WORKER(upset)

What else do you want sir?

LARRYChicken and just guac, I think thatwill be alright.

Larry turns to the man online.

LARRY(CONTD)Happy?

MANVery.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 21.

Larry gives him a dirty look and walks down to the register.He pulls out the free burrito card.

LARRYThis better be the best burrito.

Larry hands the burrito card to the cashier.

CASHIERThat would be a $1.50.

LARRYWhat? No I gave you the freeburrito card.

CASHIERThe guacamole is extra though.

LARRY

What?

CASHIERWell the burrito is free but theguac is extra.

LARRYThats crazy. The card I gave youwas for a free burrito. It doesntmatter what is the content of theburrito. Its a free burrito. Youcant charge me based on theindividual product.

CASHIERIm sorry sir but even though youhave the card I still have tocharge you for the guacamole.

LARRYSo let me get this straight, Icould have gotten everything on theline and had the biggest burritoman has ever created, which wouldbe free?

She nods.

LARRY(CONTD)But once I add guacamole to theburrito it makes it more expensive?

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 22.

CASHIERYes sir.

LARRYThats insane, I have a voucher fora free burrito. I could have gottenanything in the burrito because it

is a free one but you decide tocharge me, even though I have thiscard that says, "give him a freeburrito". It literally screams"free burrito, this is good for onefree burrito". It doesnt haveanything on it that says what itemsI can chose to put in my burrito.Let me see it!

Larry pulls the free burrito card out of her hand and startsto read it.

She leaves the counter frantically and heads to the kitchen.Out comes the manager who is Mike.

MIKEHi sir, what may be the problem?

LARRYWell..

Larry looks up and sees that it is Mike.

MIKELarry?

LARRYMike.

MIKESo whats the problem Larry?

LARRYWell, the main problem was that Iwas getting charged for theguacamole even though I had thefree burrito card. But now I seewhats happening here.

MIKEWhat?

LARRYYou appetite bullied me to comehere to try and gain my business.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 23.

MIKECmon Larry that is crazy.

LARRYIs it? I didnt want to come herebut you kept building it, Chipotle

this and Chipotle that! "Oh you gotto come to Chipotle" you said. Youeven bribed me and the bribe didnteven pay off. I cant believe it.

MIKEListen Larry, I just wanted you totry Chipotle. I work here because Ihave a passion for it as you cansee. That is all. I just thoughtyou would enjoy it, thats it.

LARRY

I dont think so Mike. I think youhad a different reason for me tocome. You lost my business. Im outof here.

MIKELarry, Im sorry.

LARRYA little too late Mike. A little tolate.

Larry leaves the burrito and walks out the door.

Mike puts his head down in shame.

INT. LARRYS CAR

Larry gets into his car and buckles himself into his seat.

LEONWheres your food Lar?

LARRYYou wouldnt believe it!. Cmonwere going to El Meson. Illexplain on the way.


25/36

24.

EXT. EL MESON- DAY

Leon and Larry are about to walk in the the door.

LEONI told you that mother fucker was

shady.

LARRYYou were right, he had a hiddenagenda.

They are about to walk inside when a girl walks by the door.

Leon shoots her a smile, and she embarrassingly smiles back.

Larry and Leon walk inside.

INT. EL MESON- DAY

LARRYThats unbelievable.

LEONI told you Larry. Every girl knowsthey be smiling at me. I got theswag and they want part of it.

LARRYReally unbelievable. Its so simpleto smile back at someone. To think

that she got so fluttered by yoursmile. She was embarrassed to smileback that just amazes me.

Jorge comes over to Larry.

LARRYHola Jorge.

JORGEHola.

LEONCome estas?

JORGEMuy Bien y tu?

LEONAsi Asi.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 25.

Jorge goes to the kitchen and Larry looks at Leon inamazement.

LARRYYou know Spanish?

LEONLarry, Im black of course I knowSpanish.

LARRYYou seize to amaze me.

LEONIts the swag Larry, its the swag.

They take a seat at a table.

LARRY

You know, I told Jeff to come meetus here.

LEONWhere is he?

Larry makes a gesture.

LARRYNo idea.

Jorge comes out with two burritos for the two of them.

They start to eat.

Time passes and the two are done eating and look satisfied,leaning back into their chairs.

LARRYI told you, right?

LEONLarry that was some good motherfucking Mexican food.

LARRYI know my Mexican.

JORGEMuy bien.

Both Larry and Leon shake their heads.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 26.

LEONMuy bien. Muy bien.

Leon nudges Larry.

LEON(CONTD)Lets have the dinner party here.

LARRYThats a great idea. Bring morebusiness for Jorge.

LEONI know Larry.

The two of them look at each other and grin. At the sametime they both call Jorge over.

JORGESi?

LARRYMy friend Leon and I are absolutelyin love with your food and thisgreat place. We would love it, ofcourse if it was alright with you,to host a dinner party here.

JORGEFor you Larry, of course. Noproblemo.

LARRYFantastico! Anyone can orderanything of the menu, is that ok?

JORGESi. Yes of course Larry.

LARRYAnd the guacamole situation? Idlike to keep an endless supply ofguacamole at no extra charge isthat alright Jorge?

JORGEOf course! No other way Larry.

Larry turns to Leon.

LARRYYou see this is the treatmentyoure supposed to get at Mexicanrestaurants. Thank you Jorge.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 27.

Larry puts money on the table for the meal and they get upto leave.

LARRY(CONTD)See you in a few Jorge.

JORGE

Adios.

LEONAdios amigos.

EXT. EL MESON- DAY

Larry turns to Leon.

LARRYYou happy?

LEONHell yeah. You happy?

LARRYYou know what I am?

LEONWhats that Larry?

LARRYIm ready to get on my swag smile.Did I pronounce that right? Swagsmile?

LEONNah, no such thing as a swag smile.Just swag. You ready to get yourswag on and in order to do soyoure going to mother fuckingsmile at hoes on the street.

LARRYYes, yes I am.

EXT. STREET- DAY

Larry and Leon walk around. Leon is in mid-conversation withsome lady as Larry awkwardly stands behind him.

LEONSo its just down this way and Imtelling you, the guacamole is goingto rock your world girl.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 28.

GIRLAnd if it doesnt?

LEONThen I guess Ill be doing therocking.

Larry is standing behind Leon eyes wide open repeating theline he just heard to himself, shaking his head indisbelief.

GIRLIll definitely be there then, andby the way, I hope youre overexaggerating how good it is,because Id rather end up with thesecond option.

As the girl starts to walk away, Leon and Larry check outher butt.

Leon shakes his head and takes a long deep breath.

Larry smacks him on the shoulder.

LARRYThat was amazing. Ive never seenanything like it.

LEONI have.

LARRY

That was unbelievable.

LEONIts in all of us Larry, justunleash the inner beast.Check itout; here comes a fine dime Larry,test it out, come on.

Larry looks down the street and notices its the women thatwas sitting next to Mike.

LARRYOh my God, thats her.

LEONWho?

LARRYThe woman that smiled at me atJeffs dinner party.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 29.

LEONAlright Larry, look at me.

Leon gets in his face as if coaching Larry.

LEON(CONTD)

This is your chance Larry. You knowshe is a little interested causeshe smiled first. Be calm, show heryoure the fucking man and ask herto the dinner party.

LARRYBut what if she is Mikes wife.

Leon slaps Larry.

LEONShe smiled first Larry, she smiled

first.

Larry falls into a gaze into Leons eyes, wide mouthed,agreeing with him.

MYSTERY WOMANLarry? Larry David?

Still staring into Larrys eyes, Leon gives him a nod ofapproval. Larry pushes Leon out of the way.

LARRYHey baby girl how you doing?

MYSTERY WOMANExcuse me?

Larry looks at Leon frantically.

LARRYIm sorry I..

MYSTERY WOMANNo need to apologize.

She smiles at him and starts to play with her hair.

Larry looks back at Leon and Leon nods at him in approval.

LARRYI was going to say, Im sorry Ididnt catch your name the othernight.

(CONTINUED)


31/36

CONTINUED: 30.

After everything Larry says he keeps looking towards Leon toget his nod of approval, he does.

MYSTERY WOMENIm Michelle, and of course I knowyou.

LARRYOf course, who doesnt know LarryDavid?

Larry looks back over in Leons direction and Leon keepsnodding.

LARRY(CONTD)So what were you doing atJeffs dinner the other night? Ididnt see, did you come withanyone?

MICHELLEIm their house decorator. Theywanted me to come by to see what itlooks like and take my opinion.

LARRYOh really? So you were alone?

MICHELLEYeah it was a little strange but Ireally couldnt keep my eyes off ofyou. You were the center of

attention.

LARRYIf I had a nickel for every time Igot that.

Michelle laughs.

Larry looks at Leon who non-verbally tells him to keep hiseyes on the prize.

LARRY(CONTD)Listen Im having a dinner party atthis Mexican restaurant, El Meson afew blocks over, you want to come?

MICHELLEId love to.

(CONTINUED)


32/36

CONTINUED: 31.

LARRYGreat! Pick you up at 8 and dontforget your appetite.

She looks Larry up and down.

MICHELLEOh dont worry, I wont.

She starts to walk away.

Larry smiles and turns to Leon, but Leon keeps lookingstraight ahead.

LEONLarry, look straight ahead and losethe mother fucking smile.

LARRY

What?

LEONDo it!

Larry listens to him.

LEONWait for it. Wait for it.

Michelle looks back at Larry and smiles at him.

LEON(CONTD)

(whispers without moving lips)Smile back and nod.

Larry obeys.

Michelle keeps walking.

LEON(CONTD)Alright we good now. We good.

LARRYI cant believe that. That wasamazing.

LEONYou almost blew it at the end butfor first time swag, not bad Larry.Not bad.

The two of them walk down the street.


33/36

32.

INT. LARRYS CAR- NIGHT

In the back seat of the car Leon and his girl are foolingaround while Larry is driving.

The girl is playfully laughing and Leon is talking abouthimself.

They pull up to a house and Larry honks his horn.

LARRYKnock it off back there! Ill kickyou out.

LEONYou cant contain the swag Larry,its a curse.

The two of them get back to making out.

LARRYCome on, 5 minutes!

LEONPsh, alright Larry alright.

Leon sits up and starts to button his shirt back together.The girl sits back up and straightens out her hair.

Michelle comes out of the house and into the car.

MICHELLEHi Larry.

LARRYHey Michelle, you ready?

MICHELLEYep.

They start to drive away.

LEONYo Larry, is Jeff and everyonemeeting us there?

LARRYYeah they said they were coming.

LEONMan we shouldnt have invited themLarry. They dont invite me, Ishouldnt invite them.

(CONTINUED)


34/36

CONTINUED: 33.

LARRYWell when you pay, you get todecide who to invite.

LEONPsh.

EXT. STREET NIGHT-NIGHT

They find a parking spot on the street, get out of the car,and start walking.

They get to where El Meson is supposed to be and Larrybecomes confused when he sees a Chipotle has been put in itsplace.

LARRYWhat whats this?

GIRL(To Leon)

You brought me to a Chipotle?! Ugh!

She starts to walk away.

LEONIt wasnt a mother fucking Chipotlethe other day!

Leon starts to go after her.

LEON(CONTD)Baby! Baby!

MICHELLEI thought you were having a dinnerparty at a restaurant, dont get mewrong I love Chipotle, but..

LARRYI was! I did! I had everythingplanned El Meson! I dont knowwhat..

Mike walks out of the Chipotle arms crossed, looking atLarry.

MIKEMay I help you?

(CONTINUED)


35/36

CONTINUED: 34.

LARRYYou?! What did you do to Jorge andEl Meson!?

MIKEI did nothing, look.

Mike opens up the door showing Jorge working behind thecounter in a Chipotle outfit.

LARRYYoure going to pay for this, youknow?

MIKEEh.

Mike smiles.

MICHELLEYou have a really great smile.

MIKEI know.

Mike smiles again at her and raises his eyebrows for her tocome inside. She does.

Leon runs back over to Larry, without the girl, watchingMichelle leave.

LARRY

Youre really going to leave melike that?

MICHELLESorry Larry, I really do loveChipotle.

She walks inside when Larry and Leon try to follow suit,Mike stops them from coming in.

LEONOh, see, this is why I dont go toChipotle, its because Im blackisnt it!?

LARRYNo, no no youre mad about theguacamole incident and that Ididnt pay! Its because Im a Jewisnt it!

(CONTINUED)


36/36

CONTINUED: 35.

MIKEIts because youre a loser, and Icant do business with an agent whoworks with losers. Sorry Larry.

Mike closes the door. Larry and Leon look at each other.

Jeff and Susie walk over.

JEFFSee I knew you would like Chipotle!

SUSIEGreat choice for dinner Lar, I toldyou its phenomenal.

They both walk into Chipotle together.

A homeless man is sitting on the ground next to the entrance

who Larry and Leon both notice for the first time.

He looks shocked at the whole scenario that just played out.

Larry and Leon look at each other, then at homeless man, andboth smile at him akwardly at the same time.

THE END

Date post:	04-Apr-2018
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Curb Your Enthusiasm Larry Goes to Chipotle

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