De-Escalation Techniques and Communication Skills for the ...

SPARTAN INTERNATIONAL CONSULTING GROUP ©

De-Escalation Techniques and Communication Skillsfor the

Workplace Professional

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De-Escalation Techniques &

Communication Skills For The Workplace

Professional

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Program Goals

•Develop effective communications skills

•Design de-escalation strategies

•Defuse hostile encounters

•Develop strategic responses for:

– When diffusion is ineffective or

– Not the appropriate option.


• Identify physiological changes that occur when

individuals become hostile or angry.

• Learn the cognitive limitations when people

become hostile or angry and how to address it.

• Learn communication skills to de-escalate and

defuse hostile encounters.

• Learn methods to re-direct the thought process

for de-escalation.

Program Units


What Feeds Anger/Fear

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Our Fears

•Ego Fed

•Loss of Control

•Unknown

•Contempt of “US”


Benefits of Communication Skills

• Enhances a Safe Environment

• Enhances Professionalism

• Reduces Hostility

• Increase Support from Customer

• Minimize Litigation

WWW.DIFFUSIONSTRATEGIES.COM


What is Communication?• The exchange of thoughts, messages, or information,

i.e., speech, signals, writing, or behavior.

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Four Communication Skills

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Nonverbal

Speaking

Listening

Thinking


Bow & Arrow

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What is Interpersonal Communication ?• Communication that takes place between two or more

individuals on a personal, face-to-face level.

• Ping Pong

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PERCEPTIONS OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR

• Identify ways to improve observation skills

• Pay attention

• Look for external signs/clues

• Avoid letting preconceived ideas (+/-) taint your

visual evaluation

• Avoid letting personal prejudices/biases influence

your perception of an individual11


Basic Behavior Skills in

Interpersonal Communications

• Eye Contact

• Body Posture

• Body Movement

• Gestures/Facial Expressions

• Dress/Appearance

• Voice/Vocal Variety

• Language/Non-Words

• Humor 12


NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

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• FACIAL EXPRESSION

• TONE OF VIOCE

• MOVEMENT

• EYE CONTACT

• JESTURES

• POSTURE


“Non-verbal cues can account for

approximately 90% of the

meaning transmitted between

persons during face to

face contact.”

Verbal & Non-VerbalCommunication


NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION


Paraverbal MessagesHow we say the words:

• What is perceived & understood

• Using tone, pitch, & pacing of our voice

• Angry & excited? = rapid & high pitched

• Feeling Bored? = monotone

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Nonverbal MessagesOur body language:

• Accounts for what is perceived & understood

• Facial expression, postures & gestures

• Primary way we communicate emotions

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• Speak plainly using proper grammar

• Check your vocal qualities

• Avoid using slang

• NEVER use profanity

• ALWAYS address persons by “Sir”, “Ma’am” or by Name

SPEAKING STRATEGIES


HOW IMPORTANT ISNON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

• Carries most of the meaning of message

• Tells us how to interpret what is said

• Helps communicate certain emotions/attitudes

• Helps support verbal communications

• Helps control our conversations

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Personal Space

• How close we stand to people conveys non-verbal

Communication?

What is appropriate?

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NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION• Open body positions often signal a listener’s understanding

and acceptance of the topic

• Steepled fingers: Confidence / Pointed

• Open hands/arms: Acceptance

• Calm facial features: Understanding

• Leaning forward: Signal of interest

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Physical Vs Words

• Using “open hand” or “empty hand” Techniques

• As you learn better communications, you will

learn the gentle way of persuasion.

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Persuasion • The first principle is not to resist your opponent.

• Instead, move with them and redirect his energy; ignoring or dismissing a question is the same as resisting it.

• It is important to always answer the questions rather than dismiss them. • By doing so gives you the chance to educate a

person and win their respect.

• It will also provide a deeper understanding so they won’t go away angry.

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The Sucker Punches of Life

• One of the most dangerous weapons you carry is:

• Your tongue- it can fire off words that can ruin you.

• The body can usually recover from physical blows:

• However, emotional wounds from words are likely to

remain in memory forever.

• Learning to take “it” with dignity and style takes training.

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Learning to take “it”

•With practice, you can learn to take insults with so much

finesse, that they either disappear or never touch you.

•As the Confucian philosopher, Sun-Tzu, said; “To win

one hundred victories and one hundred battles is not the

highest skill, to subdue the enemy without fighting is the

highest skill.”

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Empathy

• The ability to sense how another thinks and feels

although we have no knowledge of the STATE OF MIND

of the others.

• We can often perceive their thoughts and feelings by

using Empathy.

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Empathize• Empathizing essentially means standing in the shoes of

another or seeing through their eyes.

• You do not have to agree with that person to be empathetic.

• Do not confuse empathy with sympathy.

• You do not have to approve of another person’s actions or

words.

• Don’t expect voluntary compliance just because you have a

position of authority or responsibility.

• “The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in

life”. Sun Tzu


Habit of Mind

• Most people aren’t taught to deal with insults.

• Natural response is defensive, this causes confrontation.

• An ancient master was quoted “When man throws spear of insult at head, move head! Spear miss target, leave man empty handed. Spear in wall, not in you”.

• Much better than “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me” because the latter isn’t true.

• Insults wound deeply if we do not deflect them.

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Habit of Mind• A samurai’s state of mind in war is called:

• Mushin- defined as the still center, or the ability to stay calm.

• If you cannot control yourself then you can not keep a still center, or control the situation

• The English word closest to the idea of Mushin is “impartial”.

• Open, flexible and non-biased are great traits for anyone, but are also a great trait of a communicator.

• A closed mind misreads people and makes terrible errors.

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Principles of Impartiality

• Always maintain your professional face and

professionalism.

• Always treat people as you would want to be treated,

golden rule.

• Distinguish between reasonable and severe resistance.

• Every verbal encounter is unique.

• Do not assume.

• Control and counter; don’t become a victim of them.

• Use adrenaline. Never be ruled by it.


Principles of Impartiality

• Respond to people, never react.

• Flexibility = strength; rigidity = weakness.

• The rigid mind breaks under pressure.

• You want to be like the willow tree.

• Avoid depersonalization, allow people to save face.

• Address people by name.

• Use positive feedback when you least feel like it.

• There is no reason to put people down.


Work on you first!

Remember the only person you can directly control is yourself.



Pre – Frontal Cortex

Limbic System

Emotions

Logical Thought


Oxygen to the Brain

When conflict begins•Breathing becomes shallow and rapid.

• It’s inefficient and lowers the

oxygen content in the angry

persons blood.

•With less oxygenated blood in the brain,

the person will become irritable,

impulsive and confused.


What do you want to accomplish?• Taking charge of YOUR body.

• Breathing

• Redirecting the thought process to activate different parts

of the brain to diffuse the fight or flight response



Learning to take “it”

•Learning to deal with verbal attacks is to acknowledge that

it’s happening.

•Step Two: Is to admit that it is being flung at you.

• Once that is done, congratulate yourself, its okay to be

questioned, heckled or even attacked.

• If you are willing to take it, you should be commended.

• The only way to avoid criticism is either to live in a capsule or

spend your whole life trying to please everyone.36


The Nice, the Difficult and the Agitator

Nice people;

• The majority and will cooperate

The Difficult People

• Ask why and want answers

Agitator

• The toughest of them all is the agitator

• Hides

• Instigates the Difficult People

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A Most Important DistinctionRespect

• Difference between the word REspect and respect.

• REspect is what we have to show all people at all times.

• However, we cannot respect people who prey on others.

• This is difficult to do and a fine line to draw


A Most Important DistinctionRespect

• In Latin, RE means “to give back”.

• As in what you want under identical conditions.

• Always treat the other as you would want to be treated.

• Even if they are not worthy of your respect.

• If we disrespect others, put them down in front of others, or make them feel bad, we lose our power and create more enemies.

• We lose our professional face.

• No longer a warrior of words; now part of the problem.

• REspect to all with dignity, pride, and assertiveness.


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Respect Give it to Get It


• Listening is Not a natural act, it’s a highly complex skill.

• It is not the opposite of talking, it’s artificial and artistic.

• Being open and unbiased

• Hearing literally

• Interpreting the data

• Acting

• When you listen, you have to look like you’re listening.

Project a face that makes it obvious. The moment your

eyes glaze over as if you’re uninterested or don’t care,

conflict can erupt.

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A Great Communication Art: Listening


Basic Stages of Listening Model

• Sensing

• Interpretation

• Evaluation

• Respond42


Factors That Influence Listening

• Personality

• Stress/Anxiety

• Intelligence

• Speaker’s reputation

• Visibility of speaker

• Agreement with the speaker

• Environment (noise, etc.)

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Barriers to Listening

• Prejudging as uninteresting or irrelevant

• Rehearsing the response

• Criticizing the speaker’s delivery

• Getting over-stimulated by some point in the speech

• Listening only for facts

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Things Not to Say to Anyone

• YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND /BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE RULES

• IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

• WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?

• WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?

• YOU NEVER OR YOU ALWAYS

• I’M NOT GOING TO SAY THIS AGAIN

• I’M DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

• WHY DON’T YOU BE REASONABLE?

• CALM DOWN or RELAX

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Obtaining Cooperation

• Greeting

• Identification of yourself and your agency/position/company

• Reason you are there

• Justification (their justification)

• Clarification (who they are)

• Decision (yours)

• Close (is there anything else that I can help you with today?)

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Obtaining Cooperation

• Explanations of protocols, policies, procedures, actions and tools.

• A true professional who is acting appropriately will never be ashamed to identify who they are and who they work for.

• There may be a hundred ways to calm people but the bottom line is empathy absorbs tension.

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Effective Listening Characteristics

• Listen Actively

• Listen for total meaning

• Listen with empathy

• Listen with an open mind

• Listen critically

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Effective Listening Characteristics

• Avoid getting mentally side-tracked

• Listen for key ideas and summarize

• Ask questions

• Take notes, if convenient

• Plan to report what you hear

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Basic Benefits of Listening• Reduces tension

• Can win friends

• Solves problems for other people

• Leads to better cooperation from other people

• Helps you make better decisions

• Helps you do a better job

• If we listen before we speak, it can prevent potential trouble

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Sword of Insertion• Paraphrasing is a powerful verbal tool.

• Put simply, use the words of the person delivering it’s meaning back

to them.

• When spoken earnestly and not in anger, the phrase “Wait a second”

becomes the sword.

• The ultimate empathetic sentence is powerful enough to allow you to

interrupt anyone without the fear of bodily harm;

• “Let me be sure I heard what you said”.

• In essence, what you are saying is that you are trying to understand them

and that you want to be sure that you are on the same wavelength.

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Using the “WE” approach

“We have to calm down so we can focus on

how we’re going to resolve it.”


Teaming


Blending

Blending reduces the differences between you

and the other party working towards a common

ground.

Blending can be accomplished through:

• Facial expressions

• Body posturing

• Tone of voice and speed

• Hand motions



Questions

Prepare Today, Prevail Tomorrow

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Date post:	01-Mar-2022
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