Developing Positive Relationships and Crisis Prevention

Developing Positive RelationshipsStarting from the Inside

IntroductionPositive Relationships- A connection or bonding of one or more people that is anchored in trust, understanding, kindness, and respect.Why the need for Positive Relationships: 1. To feel safe and comfortable with others. 2. To develop a sense of belonging. 3. To lay the framework that allows individuals to become more confident, interdependent, and engaged in their world.

Laying the FoundationSafety- Many of us and those we serve are burdened with memories of distrust and fear. To feel safe we must experience unconditional love, acceptance, and the physical and emotional space that were comfortable with.Security- The feeling that Im safe, I wont be hurt, and everything is going to be okay.Love- The warmth of feeling cared for. Its trust and faith that you unconditionally honor, accept, and understand me.Attachment- I belong. Im accepted. Stay with me even when Im being difficult.

The Ingredients: I Will Be. Genuine: Be real. Dont fake iteveryone catches on. Your credibility and your chances of developing a positive relationships starts with your being genuine and real in your actions.Consistent: We need to be predictable and reliable in our interactions with others. We cant be loving, caring, supportive one day and be distant and aloof the next.Supportive: The old saying, Be here now! applies. Be in the moment when interacting with someone. Show caring by using your eyes, face, body, voice and touch.

We must use our:

Eyes- The eyes are often referred to as the window to the soul. To build relationships, we must embrace others with our eyes.Your gaze into others eyes should be soft, slow, loving and warm.Picture your eyes as hands and arms reaching out to people.Many people see a look as fists. Look gently and softly at the person, moving your gaze into the persons eyes with out piercing them.

We must use our:

2. Face- Our facial expression tells more about how we feel about someone than our words.Our faces should be calm, relaxed, and gentle.SmileEven if you dont feel like it sometimes.smile till your heart catches up!

We must use our:3. Body- Remember body kinesics and proxemics.Where and how you stand in relation to a person is critical in how they perceive your presence.Avoid squaring up and/or standing over someone while talking with them.When communicating with children come down to their eye level.When standing and engaging someone, stand with an open stance with relaxed body posture and open hands facing towards the person.

We must use our:4. Voice- Even if the people we are talking to dont understand what we are saying, theyll feel what we are saying by our tone, volume, warmth and rhythm.Use gentle, calming words.If your talking causes escalation, go the other direction with your voice.People need to feel warmth, tenderness, and unconditional love from your voice.

We must use our:

5. Touch/ hugs- Use as a sign of friendship and caring.Touch should be done softly, slowly, predictably, and you should be ready to back off at any moment if discomfort is being shown.Knowledgeable touching is key. Know the individuals life-story, experiences, and comfort levels.Touch should be used for the hands, forearms, shoulders, side and back of the head and upper back.If touch/hugs are not appropriate to the situation then use your voice, body, face and eyes to communicate safety, security and love.

UnderstandingAwarenessRoad Blocks

Putting it all together

Role of the Direct Service providerAssist and support the individual to make informed choices, follow through on responsibilities and take risksPromote the individual participating in the design of support servicesProvide opportunities for self-advocacy by increasing awareness of self-advocacy techniques, encouraging the individual to speak on his/her own behalf From the National Alliance for Direct Support Professionals Direct Support Professional Credentialing Guidebook

More on RolesPromote community connections, friendships and other valued relationshipsAssist the individual to meet his/her physical needs by teaching skills, providing supports and building on strengths and capabilitiesEnsure the health and safety of the individualFrom the National Alliance for Direct Support Professionals Direct Support Professional Credentialing Guidebook

Understanding: Walk in my shoes Know your audience. Learn about the person youre developing a relationship with.Put yourself in their life experiences and begin to understand where they are coming from.Focus and start with what's inside, then work your way out.Accept everyone where they are. Build on that starting place.

Awareness: Be in the momentGive your time and attention.Notice the tears, smiles, anxiousness, and comfort and respond accordingly.

Road Blocks: What's keeping you from Developing Positive Relationships?We bring our own stuff into relationships. Sometimes our stuff gets in the way of Developing Positive Relationships.Keep yourself healthy. Go on an ego diet. Eat, drink, think, sleep, and do positive things. Get supports for those areas in life that need TLC. Love or learn to love yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself and youll be able to give the same in return.

Making it work

TrainingPracticePatienceOpenness

1. TrainingWhen working with individuals with disabilities, learn all you can about them. Use the library, computer, seminars, co-workers, etc. as resources.Learn beyond this power point presentation on how to develop and maintain positive relationships in your life.

Resource websites: www.dimagine.com www.gentleteaching.com www.positiveway.com

2. PracticeIf loving, caring, and supporting doesnt come naturally to youpractice.Volunteer at a senior center, or Special Olympics event. Join the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization.If your heart is vested in developing positive relationships all these concepts will fall into place and itll become a part of who you are.

3. PatienceTake a deep breath.You may not succeed in developing a positive relationship the first, second, hundredth time. If your heart is genuine it will happen!!Give it time, dont personalize setbacks, and always see the potential. The greatness that sits on the horizon needs to be visualized and realized by you!

4. OpennessIt is very difficult to see through a cloudy window or a closed door.To be successful in developing relationships, you have to open up yourself. You must be willing to take the risk of love, trust, care and support.You cant give, what you dont have!

A Commitment If you are willing to unconditionally

LoveSupportCareUnderstand

what commitment can you make today?

What to do if a crisis occurs.

Purpose of Crisis interventionTo maintain:CareWelfareSafetySecurity

Physiological impact of a crisisIncreased Heart Rate .

Dilation of bronchioles for easier breathing.

Constriction of arterioles in skin, digestive system, and non-exercising muscles.

Inhibition of digestive functions.

Widening of pupils.

Crisis development/Behavior levelsAnxiety: a noticeable increase or change in behavior.Examples: pacing, finger drumming, wringing of the hands, staringStaff attitudes/approachesSupportive: an empathic, non-judgmental approach attempting to alleviate anxiety

Crisis Development/Behavior levelsDefensive: Beginning of the loss of rationality. Person may become belligerent and challenge authority.Staff attitudes/approachesDirective: An approach in which a staff member takes control of a potentially escalating situation by setting limits.

Acting out personTotal loss of control which often results in acting out episode.Nonviolent Physical Crisis InterventionSafe non-harmful control and restraint techniques used to control an individual until they can regain their behavior. Techniques should be utilized as a last resort, when an individual presents a danger to self or others

Tension Reduction:Decrease in physical and emotional energy which occurs after a person has acted out, characterized by the regaining of rationality.Therapeutic rapportAn attempt to re-establish communication with an individual who is experiencing Tension Reduction.

Nonverbal behavior Personal SpaceFactors that influence personal space include: gender, size, cultural differences, familiarity, and situation occurring.

Body positioning: Body posture and motion which include facial expression

Paraverbal CommunicationDefinition: the vocal part of speech, excluding the actual words one uses.A. ToneB. VolumeC. CadenceSuggested approachesTry to avoid inflections of impatience, condescension, inattention, etc.Keep the volume appropriate for the distance and situation.Deliver your message using even rate and rhythm

Tension ReductionQuestioningReleaseRefusalIntimidation

Tips for verbal interventionDoRemain calmIsolate the situationEnforce limitsListenBe aware of non-verbalsBe consistentDontOver-reactGet in a power struggleMake false promisesBe threateningUse jargon

Empathetic listeningBe non-judgmentalGive undivided attentionListen carefully to what is being said (not just the facts)Allow silence for reflectionUse restatement to clarify messages

Compartmentalization of feelingsDefinition:Separation of ones feelings from the crisis situation.A professional attitude must be maintained so that we can control the situation.Outlets are needed for negative energy absorbed during the crisisAn open discussion about the events may be needed.

A very human experience

Individuals behavior levelAnxiety (-)Defensive (-)Act out person (-)Tension reduction (-)Staff attitude/approachA. SupportiveB. DirectiveC. NVCPI-only to be used if properly trainedD. Therapeutic rapportIndividuals do not operate in a vacuum. Staff and individuals effect each other.

After the incident Make sure everyone is safeIdentify concerns and brainstorm ways to address those concerns.Look for patterns among crisis situations.Provide support and praise to your team members.

Finally:Remember: Everybody is safe and tomorrow is another day.