Printing & Advertising THE ORIGINAL TRADING POST Tel/Fax: 952 597 100 Mobile: 661 166 122 [email protected][email protected]The Original Trading Post, Ctra. Cartama N o 3, 29120 Alhaurin el Grande, Málaga. Deposito Legal MA 138-2004 DECEMBER ISSUE 2009 The Original Trading Post Printing Co. For Your • Leaflets • Brochures • Flyers (500 from €25) • Business Cards • Letterheads • T-Shirts • Pens • Key Rings • A-Boards • “Se Vende” Boards and much more... Tel: 952 597 100 or call in for a quote (Next door to Papeleria Cristina) Cross Roundabout, Alhaurin el Grande Established 2003 Merry Christmas Happy New Year
The Original Trading Post, Ctra. Cartama No 3, 29120 Alhaurin el Grande, Málaga.Deposito Legal MA 138-2004
DECEMBER ISSUE 2009
The OriginalTrading Post Printing Co.
For Your• Leaflets
• Brochures• Flyers (500 from €25)
• Business Cards• Letterheads
• T-Shirts• Pens
• Key Rings• A-Boards
• “Se Vende” Boardsand much more...
Tel:952 597 100or call in for a quote
(Next door to Papeleria Cristina)Cross Roundabout, Alhaurin el Grande
Established2003
MMeerrrryyCChhrriissttmmaass
HHaappppyyNNeeww YYeeaarr
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Neil’s NotesHiya all.As December and the Festive Season come round its time to reflecton the last year (personally I’d rather forget it). It’s been a hardgrind getting through but you’ve got to remain optimistic that nextyear will see an improvement. However hard this year has been, weare still here and my philosophy is that if we have got through thatwe are in a good position to get through anything.Anyway, at least the Christmas festivities will give us something tocelebrate and perhaps take our minds off the nasty things even if itis only for a few days.When we first arrived in Spain I couldn’t get enthusiastic aboutChristmas here, it was so different from the celebrations we have athome. The fact that it was sunny on Christmas Day didn’t help andthe fact that it seemed a low key celebration to the Spanish peoplebut over the years I have noticed that they are changing theirattitude towards the festive season and now there are decorationseverywhere and I suppose that Spain is now no different to all theother European countries in the way it recognises Christmas. Ofcourse they still have their “Return of the Kings” on January 6th sothey still retain an independent slant on the holiday.Well that’s enough of my ramblings for another month so all thatremains is for The Original Trading Post to wish everyone
A HAPPY CHRISTMASAND A PEACEFUL AND
PROSPEROUS NEW YEARSpeak to you all again in January, Have a good one.
All the best, Neil
The Original Trading Post, Ctra Cartama No 3, 29120 Alhaurin elGrande, Malaga. Tel: 952 597 100.
Gills JokeA Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg manyyears ago was stranded late one night at afashionable resort - one that did not admitJews. The desk clerk looked down at his bookand said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.” The Jewish lady said, “But your sign saysthat you have vacancies.” The desk clerk stammered and then saidcurtly, “You know that we do not admit Jews.Now if you will try the other side of town...” Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable andsaid, “I’ll have you know I’ve converted toyour religion.” The desk clerk said, “Oh, yeah, let me giveyou a little test. How was Jesus born?” Mrs. Rosenberg replied, “He was born to avirgin named Mary in a little town calledBethlehem.” “Very good,” replied the hotel clerk. “Tell memore." Mrs. Rosenberg replied, “He was born in amanger.” “That's right,” said the hotel clerk. “Andwhy was he born in a manger?” Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, “Because a jerklike you in the hotel wouldn’t give a Jewishlady a room for the night!”
Chisels, Line & Pins etc, etc.Call into our office in
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SOS ANIMAL RESCUE CHARITY
CHRISTMAS PARTYNIGHT
TICKET – Admits 1 person €10
AT J.K’S (LA TROCHA)FRIDAY 11TH DECEMBER
STARTING AT 8.30pm till late
ENTERTAINMENT byDRAG ARTISTE CHARITY
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FINGER BUFFET INCLUDED
Aguamania presents...in aid of CHAIN
Thursday 17th December 2009at Aguamania Bar &
Restaurant (Cartama)CHRISTMAS CARVERY
and QUIZ Competitionfrom 7.30pm for 8pm start
Tickets only €10 (withdonation to CHAIN)
Menu Includes:The Full Monty Aguamania Carvery
Basically lots of meat, vegetables and potatoes!Please ensure we know if you are a vegetarian
otherwise you get vegetables.
Tickets from Anita (618 831842) or Pauline (691 884 293)CHAIN helps Registered Animal Charity Refuges &related worthy causes in the Province of Malaga.
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The OriginalTrading Post Printing Co.
A5 One Colour Flyers250 - €12.50500 - €25.001000 - €47.00
Or call us for a quote on bigger or smaller orders.
Tel:952 597 100
(Next door to Papeleria Cristina)Cross Roundabout, Alhaurin el Grande
7
WordsearchThe theme is this month is “TV Characters”. See how many you can find.
Solution on page 37.BILKOLEELARADARJOHNWALTONMRBEANHOTLIPSMRSPOCKBALDRICKPETERBENTONTJHOOKERDOCTORWHOSULLYLITTLEJOETHEFONZEZORROINSPECTORFROSTSTEVESLOANCAPTAINKIRKPAMELAEWING
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The OriginalTrading Post Printing Co.
Personalised 2010 CalendarsA4 - €5.50A5 - 3.50
Personalised Christmas Cards€2.50
Just bring us the pictures you want to include,we do the rest.
Tel:952 597 100
(Next door to Papeleria Cristina)Cross Roundabout, Alhaurin el Grande
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AbbeyConstructionFor everything you need
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9
A Stranger in my HomelandI have always felt quite relaxed about my place in the scheme of things andnever worried about others, what you might call a “Live and let Live” person.However, yesterday I went to the “White Rose Centre’’ which is a big shoppingMall in Leeds. I decided to splash out and buy a new scarf as it is beginning toget quite cold in the mornings over here now. Having found one that suited meand made me look even more handsome (if that is possible) I went to the cashdesk to pay of it. There were three women in front of me, all Polish, in front ofthem, being served were two ladies in Burrka’s, behind me stood a man in aturban and behind him an afro Caribbean gentleman, I felt outnumbered. Ifelt like an intruder in my own country. That was nothing, when I got to thecounter the woman who served me was Polish and she had a job explaining tome how to put my card in the machine as it was quite obvious that her graspof the native tongue was not that great. I came away feeling quite strange atwhat had just happened to me, on the one hand I wondered was I becoming a“Racist’’, on the other hand I felt that enough is enough and why should I feelashamed of being a patriot. Is it wrong to want to be served by someone whocan speak your language; is it wrong to feel out of place when you find it hardto find a native Briton to talk to? Name any other country in the world thatwould send a child murderer back to their own country with £4,500.00 to spendwhen they got there, it could only happen in England. The official reason wasit was cheaper and safer to do so, rubbish, absolute rubbish. Send her back byall means, but with no money. I bet the real truth is that without being paidshe refused to go and due to our stupid laws or the human rights act shecouldn’t be made to leave, what a sad indictment of the Labour Governmentand its policies. You would not believe how PC Britain has become about themost trivial things from “White-boards’’ to “ Gingermen’’, sorry “Ginger-persons’’. You cannot speak a sentence without some do-gooder claiming youare offending someone. The whole world is at it, we apologised for slavery evenalthough we never had anything to do with it and now the AustralianGovernment is apologising for child labour which had nothing to do with thepresent government at all, where will it all stop. Will we be apologising to theWoolley Mammoths because the cave men wiped them out? Isn’t it all just tomuch, Global Warming, Starvation, Overpopulation, Wars, it’s not like wehaven’t anything else to worry about, is it. Some parts of the country now haveBritish citizens as the minority population, yet, the Government cannot see aproblem or why people are worried and joining the BNP in their droves, wellyou wouldn’t living miles away in a country mansion, would you? It reallyworries me at times and I wonder just where it is all going to end, what kindof world will my generation be responsible for leaving behind for our childrenand grandchildren. It won’t be a very nice one and maybe one where humanswill not be able to live in years to come, thank god I will be long gone by then,see, old age does have its compensations. There is not long to go beforeChristmas, another year dead and buried, it has flashed past. They say as youget older the time seems to pass much quicker, I think that is because there isso much to do, places to go, people to see, and we all know that the busier youare the quicker time passes because you are not continually looking at yourwatch. That is if you can afford a watch with the recession at full strength. Ifind the reverse to be honest, things have never been so cheap, and last week Ibrought a lined sweat shirt for £2.00, an absolute bargain. I should havebrought more because they had all gone next day. I shall keep looking, and onthat note it is Roger and Out until next month.10
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12
CrosswordSolution on page 36
Across1. Research deeply (5) 4. Suggestion (8)10. Conceal (7)11. Device for increasing voltage (7)12. Yet to be paid (5)13. Fascinate (8)15. Border (4)16. Excessive (10)19. Percussion instrument (10)21. Doubtful (4)24. Discretion (8)26. Private teacher (5)28. Squeezed (7)29. Honourable (7) 30. Scruples (8) 31. Produce (5)
Down1. Fraudulence (10)2. Without (7)3. Vitality (6)5. Disprove (5)6. Forbid (8)7. Type of orange (7)8. Tempt (4)9. Novice (8)14. Dried (10)17. Competitor finishing second (6-2)18. Dominion (8)20. Sailor (7)22. Weariness (7)23. Tempestuous (6)25. Gentle push (5)27. Musical work (4)
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All about MálagaThe archaeological remains and monuments from the Phoenician, Roman,Arabian and Christian epochs convert the historic centre of Málaga into an “OpenMuseum" displaying its rich history of more than 3,000 years. Málaga is thebirthplace of artist Pablo Picasso and was the port city for Spanish military leaderBernardo de Gálvez, who served as Louisiana Governor.This important cultural infrastructure and the rich artistic heritage makeMálaga a deserving candidate for the 2016 European Capital of Culture.It was Vicente Aleixandre, 1977 Nobel Prize laureate for Literature, who firstcalled Málaga a “City of Paradise” which is a fitting description for the city. Inaddition to the fact that parks and green spaces throughout the city are coveredwith the beautiful Strelitzia flower commonly known as a Bird of Paradise,Málaga is a paradise in every sense of the word, from its charming citizens to itswonderful climate. Mild winters, comfortable summers and 300+ days of sunshinehave converted Málaga into a golfer’s paradise with over 50 golf courses in thearea. Málaga is a paradise in terms of quality of life given its privileged locationbetween the mountains and the sea, its excellent transportation infrastructure, itsvibrant business environment, its prestigious university atmosphere and itsimportant cultural heritageIn the 8th century AD, duríng the Muslim Arabic rule over Spain, the city becamean important trade center. Málaga was first a possession of the Caliphate ofCórdoba. After the fall of the Umayyad dynasty, it became the capital of a distinctkingdom, dependent on Granada. During this time, the city was called Mālaqah.The traveller Ibn Battuta, who passed through around 1325, characterised it as“one of the largest and most beautiful towns of Andalusia, uniting theconveniences of both sea and land, and is abundantly supplied with foodstuffs andfruits”. He praised its grapes, figs, and almonds; “its ruby-coloured Murcianpomegranates have no equal in the world.” Another export was “excellent gildedpottery”. The town’s mosque was large and beautiful, with “exceptionally tallorange trees” in its courtyard.Málaga was one of the Iberian cities where Arab rule persisted the longest, havingbeen part of the Emirate of Granada. While most other parts of the peninsulaalready succumbed to the reconquista, the medieval Christian Spanish struggledto drive the Muslim Arabs out. Malaga was conquered by Christian forces in 1487,five years before the fall of Granada.Málaga underwent fierce bombing by Nationalist or Republican air forces andnaval units during the Spanish Civil War in 1936. The well-known Britishjournalist and writer Arthur Koestler was captured by the Nationalist forces ontheir entry into Málaga, which formed the material for his book Spanish Testament.The old historic center of Málaga touches the harbour to the south and issurrounded by mountains to the north - Montes de Málaga (part of BaeticCordillera), lying in the southern base of the Axarquía hills, and two rivers, theGuadalmedina - the historic center is located on its left bank - and theGuadalhorce, which flows west of the city into the Mediterranean.The oldest architectural remains in the city is the Roman theatre which dates fromthe 1st century BCE, and that was fortuitously rediscovered in 1951.The Holy Week celebration and the August Malaga Fair (“Feria de Málaga”) aretwo well-known festivals. During the celebration of the Feria de Málaga in August,the streets are transformed into symbols of Spanish culture and history, with sweetwine, tapas, and live flamenco shows filling the town. The day events consist of livemusic and dancing, while the night fair is moved to the Recinto Ferial, consistingof restaurants, clubs, and an entire fair ground with rides & games.14
DO YOUNEEDHELP?
I am a local resident with 30 years experience of co-ordinating localContractors to suit all customer requirements.
Eg. Architects, Builders, Electricians, Carpenters, Plumbers, SwimmingPool Constructors, Lorries etc.
Paperwork: Contracts, Title Deeds, Certificates, plus other services.If you need help with interpretation at the Doctors, Hospitals, Lawyers(Spanish, English, Swedish) my fee is 20€ per hour + travelling time.
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Christmas in SpainIn Spain, the Christmas season officially begins with December 8, the feast of the ImmaculateConception. It is a public holiday in Spain. Christmas here is not as huge a commercial occasion as in most other western nations. VirginMary is the patron saint of Spain and hence, Christmas is observed here with great devotion andpiety. It is a religious festival with an adequate measure of festive excitement. In the main cities,stores are beautifully decorated with Christmas lights and stuffed with Christmas supplies fromthe first week of December. Christmas trees come up in almost every home across the country fromthe second half of December. Also to be found in every household are beautiful mini-sized"Belénes" or Nativity scenes. The Belén typically includes baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the ThreeKings, Baltasar, Melchior and Gaspar. It depicts life in the village where Jesus was born. Christmas Eve in Spain is known as "Nochebuena" or "Good Night." It is a time for familygatherings. Family members come together for joyous feasting and merrymaking during this time.In the evening, people go out to have a few drinks with friends and rush back to enjoymouthwatering dishes with the family. Christmas dinner is never eaten until after midnight. Atypical Spanish Christmas dinner begins with the serving of prawn followed by a roasted lamb.The dessert is traditionally a Christmas sweet, either the "turrón" - a nougat made of toastedsweet almonds or the "Polvorone", made from almonds, flour and sugar. The meal is consumed tothe accompaniment of fine Spanish wines. Cava, a Catalan champagne, is generally the chosendrink for the Christmas toast. The feast is followed by family members gathering around theChristmas tree and singing Christmas carols and hymns of Christendom. The merrymaking oftencontinues until daybreak.On Christmas Day, families visit local churches to attend the religious services. The feasting andrejoicing goes on on this day also. Families have a grand lunch on the afternoon of Christmas Day.A unique custom here is the hanging of swings throughout the courtyards and young people ridingthem with much joy. Children recieve a small gift on the 25th morning but they have to wait tillthe 6th of January (Epiphany) to get their actual presents, supposedly from the Three Wise Menwho are said to leave gifts for kids on the latters' shoes on the Eve of Epiphany, January 5th.
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Gills JokeJohn went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, ruralarea of West Virginia.After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John'sgrandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, andquestioned his grandfather asking, ‘Are these plates clean?’His grandfather replied, ‘They’re as clean as cold water can get em.Just you go ahead and finish your meal,Sonny!’For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concernedabout the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edgethat looked like dried egg and asked, ‘Are you sure these plates areclean?’Without looking up the old man said, ‘I told you before, Sonny, thosedishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, Idon’t want to hear another word about it!’Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as hewas leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't lethim pass.John yelled and said, ‘Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car’.Without diverting his attention from the football game he waswatching on TV, the old man shouted, ‘COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWNNOW, YAH HEAR ME?’
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On the Coin Road (A404),3 km out of Alhaurin el Grande
20 minutes from La Cañada and the coast.WE WISH YOU ALL A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
• Luxury Pet Transportation throughout Europe by land• Professional Grooming Salon for Dogs & Cats• Pet Boutique with Pet Treats and Accessories• Pet ID Tags - Now engraved on site• Boutique Dog Hotel• Beautiful SecludedCattery
• Grooming Courses• Complete Dog Food “Posh Nosh”• Bespoke Travel Cages - Custom Cages• Residential Obedience Training for your dog• Our own produced ‘Herbal Tonic’ for pets• Tuesday evenings 5pm - 7pmMobile British Vet Clinic
AIR CONDITIONING NOT ASCOLD AS IT USED TO BE???
WE CAN CARRY OUT:1. Visual System Check.2. Recover any Refrigerant from System.3. Top up with Correct Oil.4. Add a Leak Detecting Dye.5. Regas the System with Refrigerant.6. Carry out a Leak Check using UV Light.
ALL THIS FOR JUST €25NB Please note if system fails UV test due to a component in the system being faulty,then further repairs will be required atadditional cost.
Gills JokeA very rich man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted tomarry her right away. She said, “But we don’t know anything abouteach other.” He said, “That’s all right, we’ll learn about each otheras we go along.” So she consented, and they were married, andwent on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. So one morning theywere lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed upto the 10-meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, thisfollowed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where hestraightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few moredemonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. “That was incredible!” she said. “I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’dlearn more about ourselves as we went along.” So she got up,jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty lapsshe climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out ofbreath. “That was incredible!” he said. “Were you an Olympic enduranceswimmer?”''No,” she said, “I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sidesof the canal.”18 When calling or visiting our advertisers, please state you have seen them in The Original Trading Post. Thank you
BASED NEAR ALHAURÍN EL GRANDEWhen calling or visiting our advertisers, please state you have seen them in The Original Trading Post. Thank you 19
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Winter is Coming!!!Well, here we are steaming rather rapidly towards winter. very soon,the memories of one of the hottest summers in years will be a distantthought and we can look forward to pulling on the fleeces andmoaning about how chilly it is at night !! never can please us British!!Already, the phone calls that we are receiving are changing fromwasps and ants to termites and flies. one poor customer called totell us about the new door frames that he replaced two and a halfyears ago because of termite damage. The new wood that thecarpenter had fitted was supposedly sprayed with an anti woodeating insect aerosol that the carpenter did himself. Now, two anda half years down the road, the frames are being eaten again. Oneframe had to be replaced completely and the other six were givenpreventative treatments to halt the new infestation. Remember thatif you have termites in the woodwork of your house, they will not goaway by replacing the wood.....that is just giving them fresh food !NPS only use the best termicide products that have passed therigorous French Wood Protection Standards that are a worldwidebenchmark in termite control. Our products penetrate right to thecentre of the wood, to create a barrier that we have the confidenceto back up with a ten year written guarantee stamped by the Juntade Andalucia. with NPS you are safe in the knowledge that we havebeen serving the Costa del Sol for the last twenty four years and thata dedicated team who really enjoy their work are waiting to helpyou, whatever your problem. Last month I wrote about the incredible new "Fly String System"that we are proud to be distributors for. In September one of thesesystems was fitted in the Benalmadena Bullring Bar with the mostamazing results. Obviously, with bulls and horses in closeproximity, flies were proving to be an ongoing major problem for theowners, Phil and Pam. After trying electronic devices, sprays, ultraviolet lamps and practically every product on the market, theyheard about the NPS "Fly String System" and we fitted it for themthe next day. Ten minutes after fitting, there were twenty three fliesstuck and Pam rang me excitedly that evening, to update thatfigure to over three hundred flies in less than fourteen hours!Spanish customers in the bar were amazed at the efficiency of theferomone impregnated glue string and as a consequence, six morecustomers have joined Browns Restaurant, Benalmadena, El FogonRestaurant, La Cala ,and now the Bull Bar, Benalmadena as flyfree zones. Dave Brown at Browns Restaurant says its the mostefficient fly trapping system he´s ever seen and can´t believe thedifference it has made to his outside terrace.If flies are getting you down, or any other bug is bugging you, thengive Nigel a ring on 606 00 89 40 for advice or to make anappointment.
Gills JokeAn office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equallyqualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them one question and theiranswer would determine who would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewerasked “What is the fastest thing you know of?” pointing to the man on his right. The first man replied “A thought. It pops into your head. There’s no forewarningthat it’s on the way, it’s just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of.” “That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. And now you sir? He asked the second man. “Hmm.... let me see, A blink! It comes and goes and youdon’t know ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of.” “Excellent!” said the interviewer “The blink of an eye. That’s a very popular clichéfor speed.” as he turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. “Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a lightswitch, when you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light at the barncomes on in an instant.” Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.” The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he hadfound his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light.” he said. Turning to the fourthman, he posed the question. “After hearing the three previous answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thingknown is diarrhoea.” “WHAT!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response. “Oh I can explain.” said the fourth man. “You see the other day wasn’t feeling sogood and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could think, blink, or turn on thelight, I’d crapped in my pants!” He got the job.
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When calling or visiting our advertisers, please state you have seen them in The Original Trading Post. Thank you22 When calling or visiting our advertisers, please state you have seen them in The Original Trading Post. Thank you
EELLEECCTTRRIICCSS:: Bulletins, Rewiring, Projects etc.PPLLUUMMBBIINNGG:: Bulletins, Kitchens, Bathrooms, Central
Heating etc.CCAARRPPEENNTTRRYY:: Pergolas, Kitchens, Decking, Doors etc.BBUUIILLDDIINNGG:: Total or Part ReformsCCOONNCCRREETTEE:: Printed Driveways, Pathways and
Walls etc.SSOOLLAARR:: Hot Water, Electric Panels, Wells,
Underfloor Heating etc.AIRCON: For houses and heat pump for pools.
Architects available if required
Tel: 669 009 821All areas covered.
23
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This Month in History - DecemberDecember 1, 1919 - Lady Nancy Astor became the first woman in the House of Commons. December 2, 1804 - Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned emperor of France by Pope PiusVII in Paris. December 3, 1967 - The first successful heart transplant was performed by Dr. ChristiaanBarnard at Cape Town, South African, on Louis Washkansky, who lived for 18 days. December 4, 1791 - The Observer, now the oldest Sunday newspaper in the world, wasfirst published in England. December 5, 1492 - Haiti was discovered by Christopher Columbus. December 6, 1978 - In Spain, a new constitution was approved by referendum, providingfor a constitutional monarchy and a parliamentary form of government. December 7, 1941 - The U.S. Naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, was attacked by nearly200 Japanese aircraft in a raid that lasted just over one hour and left nearly 3,000 dead. December 8, 1980 - Beatle musician John Lennon was assassinated in New York City. December 9, 1992 - Buckingham Palace announced the separation of Prince Charlesand Princess of Wales, Dianna. December 10, 1941 - The British Battleships Repulse and Prince of Wales were sunk byJapanese warplanes in the South China Sea, killing nearly 800 crewmen. December 11, 1936 - King Edward VIII abdicated the throne of England. December 12, 1870 - Joseph Hayne Rainey of Georgetown, South Carolina, became thefirst African American to serve in the U.S. House of Representatives. He filled a seatwhich had been declared vacant by the House and served until 1879. December 13, 1577 - Francis Drake departed Plymouth, England, in the Golden Hind onhis voyage around the world. December 14, 1799 - George Washington died at Mount Vernon. December 15, 1840 - Napoleon was buried in Les Invalides in Paris. December 16, 1653 - Following the defeat of King Charles I in the English Civil War,Oliver Cromwell was declared Lord Protector of England. December 17, 1538 - Pope Paul III excommunicated King Henry VIII after he haddeclared himself supreme head of the English church. December 18, 1916 - During World War I, the Battle of Verdun concluded after ten monthsof fighting during which 543,000 French and 434,000 German soldiers were killed. December 19, 1946 - War broke out in Indochina as Ho Chi Minh attacked the Frenchseeking to oust them from Vietnam. This was the beginning of a thirty year conflictwhich eventually led to heavy U.S. involvement and ended in 1975 with U.S. withdrawalfrom South Vietnam. December 20, 1699 - Czar Peter the Great changed the Russian New Year fromSeptember 1 to January 1 as part of his reorganization of the Russian calendar. December 21, 1972 - East and West Germany established diplomatic ties. December 22, 1783 - George Washington appeared before Congress and voluntarilyresigned his commission. December 23, 1888 - Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh cut off his left ear during a fit ofdepression. December 24, 1914 - The first-ever German air raid against Britain took place when aGerman monoplane dropped a single bomb on Dover during World War I. December 25, 1066 - William the Conqueror was crowned king of England. December 26, 2004 - An estimated 230,000 persons were killed and 1.5 million lefthomeless when a magnitude 9.3 earthquake on the seafloor of the Indian Ocean set offa series of giant tsunami waves that smashed into the shorelines of a dozen countries. December 27, 1927 - Joseph Stalin consolidated power in the USSR by expelling rivalLeon Trotsky from the Soviet Communist Party. December 28, 1947 - Victor Emmanuel III, the last king of Italy, died while in exile inAlexandria, Egypt. December 29, 1170 - Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, was murdered by fourknights acting on orders from England's King Henry II. December 30, 1993 - Israel and the Vatican signed an agreement on mutual recognition,seeking to end 2,000 years of unfriendly Christian-Jewish relations. December 31, 1879 - Thomas Edison provided the first public demonstration of hiselectric incandescent lamp at his laboratory in Menlo Park, New Jersey. 24
H.D., Sky & Freeset Boxes - IN STOCK!Official viewing cards - IN STOCK!Problems with Channels 4 or 5? - CALL FOR HELP!PROFESSIONAL SERVICE AT COMPETITIVE RATES
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Gills JokeGrandma and Grandpa werewatching a healing service on thetelevision.The evangelist called to all whowanted to be healed to go to theirtelevision set, place one hand onthe TV and the other hand on thebody part where they wanted to behealed.Grandma got up and slowlyhobbled to the television set,placed her right hand on the setand her left hand on her arthriticshoulder that was causing her tohave great pain.Then Grandpa got up, went to theTV, placed his right hand on theset and his left hand on his crotch.Grandma scowled at him andsaid, “I guess you just don’t get it.The purpose of doing this is toheal the sick, not raise the dead.”
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General Knowledge Quiz1. Lake Inari, within the Arctic Circle, is which European country? 2. Herman van Rompuy, the first President of the European Council, was
previously prime minister of which country? 3. Which multi-million-selling car whose front wheels turn 360 degrees
celebrated its 30th anniversary in 2009? 4. What is the name of the seat used for riding on the back of an
elephant? 5. Who composed Pomp and Circumstance No.4 in 1907? 6. What is the basic monetary unit in Vietnam? 7. In which London park does the annual Frieze Art Fair take place? 8. In Greek mythology who gave King Midas the power to turn everything
he touched into gold? 9. Metachrosis is the ability of some animals to do what?
10. In the 1833 Factory Act in Britain what was the minimum age of a child allowed to work in a factory?
11. What is the name of the hotel in the 1980 film The Shining? 12. Where on the human head would you find an epicanthic fold? 13. Which British prime minister resigned in 1940? 14. What is the name of the plant in the 1986 film the Little Shop of
Horrors? 15. Dulse is an edible type of what? 16. In which 1995 film does Robert Carlisle play the character Begbie? 17. From what island destination was HMS Bounty returning when its
famous mutiny occurred? 18. Which of the Marx brother's original name was Adolph? 19. Which famous poet and author, born in India in 1865, wrote the poem
'The Female of the Species is More Deadly than the Male'? 20. What brand of raincoat was famously worn by British prime minister
Harold Wilson? 21. With which English county cricket club did Ian Botham finish his
playing career? 22. Zagazig is a city in which North African country? 23. Which country has the international car registration BDS? 24. Which of the British armed forces is known as the Senior Service?25. Who were the runners up in the 1998 FIFA World Cup Final? 26. Who was William Shakespeare's wife (other than Mrs Shakespeare)? 27. What type of fruit is a Jargonelle? 28. What is the name of the opera house which opened in Milan in 1778? 29. What is the longest nerve in the human body?
Answers to last months quiz -1. Moons (of Saturn and Jupiter). 2. Bobby Ewing (Pam was his wife). 3. Sixteen.4. Cornwall. 5. Beards. 6. Teddy bears. 7. Charlotte. 8. November Rain. 9. 1929.10. Turkey. 11. Make-up artist. 12. Mrs Goggins. 13. Dryad. 14. A duck. 15. Jersey.16. Sloe. 17. Silkmoth (the worms are boiled in their silk cocoons before they canemerge as moths, or the threads of the cocoons would be damaged).18. William the First (William the Conqueror, ordered in 1085, published 1086).19. Peter Cushing. 20. Narcolepsy. 21. Thailand. 22. Edgar Allan Poe.23. Ms Dynamite. 24. IKEA. 25. Seven minutes. 26. Dr No (1962).
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www.alhaurindentalcentre.comTel. 0034 654 996 026
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MRS CHIPPYTraditional fish & chip shop
IN alhaurin el grande (Opposite Mercadona)OPENING HOURS:
Sudoku sponsored by Mrs. Chippy. First correct answer presentedto Mrs. Chippy wins a Lunchtime Special Meal for Two.
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Christmas FactsBoxing Day December26, was traditionally known as St. Stephen's Day,but is more commonly known as Boxing Day. This expression came aboutbecause money was collected in alms-boxes placed in churches during thefestive season. This money was then distributed to the poor and needy afterChristmas.Holly. The sharply pointed leaves were to symbolize the thorns in Christ'scrown and the red berries drops of his blood. Holly became a nativitytradition.Presents. The tradition of gifts seems to have started with the gifts that thewise men brought to Jesus. The exchanging of gifts between people startedin about the 1800's.Royalty. In 1834, Queen Victoria's husband, Prince Albert brought the firstChristmas tree to Windsor Castle for the Royal Family.Reindeer. The reindeer probably came from stories of the Norse God Wodenwho rode through the sky with reindeer and 42 ghostly huntsmen. ClementMoore's famous poem A Visit from St. Nicholas (T'was the Night BeforeChristmas) sealed the image of Santa Claus, his reindeer and the magicalflying sleigh loaded with sacks of presents.The original Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, was born in Turkey in the 4thcentury. He was very pious from an early age, devoting his life toChristianity. He became widely known for his generosity for the poor. At thetime, the Romans held him in contempt. He was imprisoned and tortured.When Constantine became emperor of Rome, he allowed Nicholas to go free.The Dutch kept the legend of St. Nicholas alive. In the 16th century Holland,Dutch children would place their wooden shoes by the hearth in hopes thatthey would be filled with a treat. The Dutch spelled St. Nicholas as SintNikolaas, which became corrupted to Sinterklaas, and finally, in Anglican,to Santa Claus.The image of Santa was originally a man in a long brown robe and furscarrying a cross and wine flask with a holly crown on his head. In 1885, aBoston printer, Louis Prang, first devised the red-suited Santa and thistheme was later developed by the Coca Cola advertising artist HaddonSundblom in the 1930'sThis produced the modern image of a jollycharacter in a red suit trimmed with white fur."Silent Night". In 1818, an Austrian priest Joseph Mohr, was told the daybefore Christmas, that the church organ was broken and would not beprepared in time for Christmas Eve. He was saddened by this and couldnot think of Christmas without music. He wanted to write a carol thatcould be sung by a choir to guitar music. He sat down and wrote threestanzas. Later that night, the people in the little Austrian Church sang"Stille Nacht" (Silent Night) for the first time.Stockings hanging on your mantel... According to tradition, SaintNicholas left his very first gifts of gold coins in the stockings of three poorgirls who needed the money for their wedding dowries. The girls had hungtheir stockings by the fire to dry.The common abbreviation for Christmas to Xmas is derived from the Greekalphabet. X is letter Chi, which is the first letter of Christ's name in theGreek alphabet. 30 When calling or visiting our advertisers, please state you have seen them in The Original Trading Post. Thank you
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HoroscopesSAGITTARIUS (November 23rd - December 21st)Try not to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. You will getout of shape easily if you don’t keep on top of things. Trips willbe exciting. Be cautious who you deal with financially.Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Tuesday.
CAPRICORN (December 22nd - January 20th)Overindulgence could cause problems for you with your lovedones. Property deals look good. Self-improvement projects willpayoff in more ways than one. It’s time to get yourself back ontrack.Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Friday.
AQUARIUS (January 21st - February 19th)Arguments with relatives may lead to a split in the family.Someone you least expect may not have your best interests atheart. Make creative changes to your living quarters. You mayhave a problem with coworkers if you try to tell them what to do. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Friday.
PISCES (February 20th - March 20th)Don’t overindulge in anyway. A romantic dinner, followed by aquiet evening with the one who is enticing you, should be mostsatisfying. You hard work and dedication will payoff, so stick toyour guns and do your job well. Do a little investigating if thereis someone at work you don’ t trust.Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Friday.
ARIES (March 21st - April 20th)Don’t hesitate to go ahead with any plans for entertainment.Your honesty will not only win you points but also respect.Compromise may be necessary. You will gain knowledgethrough your adventure.Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Wednesday.
TAURUS (April 21st - May 21st)You might not be as reserved on an emotional level as you’d like.Try looking into new ways to make extra money. Dinner,theatre, or a comedy club may be just the place. You will tend toovereat this month.Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Wednesday.
GEMINI (May 22nd - June 21st )Gambling will be a waste of time and money. Sit back and ob-serve, regardless of how hard that might be. Don’t be disappoin-ted if you don’t get your way emotionally. You may find yourselfin an opportune position if you are willing to take a bit of a risk. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Tuesday.
CANCER (June 22nd - July 22nd)Think hard before going into business with friends or family.You will be a bit of a spendthrift this month. Do not let them inon your plans if you want things to run smoothly. You may findyourself in an opportune position if you are willing to take a bitof a risk. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Thursday.
LEO (July 23rd - August 22nd)Don’t try to deal with important issues or make changes thatwill upset the apple cart. Opportunities for romance maydevelop through dealing with groups that have a purpose. Youwill be able to communicate well this month. Take a secondlook; difficulties with appliances, water, or electricity in yourhome may be evident.Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Tuesday.
VIRGO (August 23rd - September 23rd)Changes in your residence may be financially favorable. Riskswill not be profitable. Don’t be too pushy or demanding, or youmay find yourself all alone. You may have a hard time relatingto children this month.Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Friday.
LIBRA (September 24th - October 23rd)Avoid lending or borrowing. Uncertainty regarding your matemay emerge; reevaluate what you see in each other. You have areal need to be vocal. You can make money if you put yoursavings into conservative investments. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Sunday.
SCORPIO (October 24th - November 22nd)Avoid getting too close to coworkers or employers. Mishaps dueto preoccupation will be upsetting. Catch up on correspondence.Don’t overspend on luxury items. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Thursday.
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Gills JokeDuring the service, the pastor asked if anyone in the congregationwould like to express thanks for prayers which had been answered. A lady stood up and came forward. She said, “I have a reason to thank the Lord. Two months ago, myhusband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum wascompletely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’tknow if they could help him.”You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation asthey imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced. She continued, “Jim was unable to hold me or the children and everymove caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed adelicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushedremnants of Jim’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”Again, the men in the Congregation squirmed uncomfortably as theyimagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim. She continued, “Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say,with time, his scrotum should recover completely.” All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything tosay. A man rose and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “Hi, I’m Jim and I would like to tell my wife, the word is‘sternum.’”
Crossword Solutionfrom page 12
36
Animals In Distress (A.I.D.)
Christmas Day*Grand Buffet Dinner Dance*
At MAMA LUCIA II(Formerly the Albatross)
Come and join us for a FantasticChristmas Day.
Entertainment Provided byHeart FM 88.2
With the Fabulous D.J. Lee Jay Dance and enjoy great Music until 7 pm
1.30pm start for 2pm mealTickets 35€
(Drinks not inc.)*This is a ticket only event with limited seating*
Reservations are with a 50% Deposit Tickets available at the A.I.D Shops in
Alhaurin el Grande76 Gerald Brenan & 27 Blas Infante
Tickets also available at theRestaurant (Tel: 951 296 105).
For further reservation details phone:616 094 034
Solution to Wordsearchon page 8.
The London Times:Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England , there is a parking lot for150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses.It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticketmachine charging cars (about £1.40) and buses (about £7).This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years.Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work.“Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management - “we’d better phoneup the City Council and get them to send a new parkingattendant...”“Err .. no”, said the Council, “"that car park is yourresponsibility.”“Err ... no”, said Bristol Zoo Management, “the attendant wasemployed by the City Council, wasn’t he?”“Err .. NO!” insisted the Council.Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain , is a manwho had been taking the car park fees, estimated at about£560 per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years.Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over (£7 million)!And no one even knows his name.I just love happy endings!!
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Spanish Festive Chocolate Roll BASIC INGREDIENTS:
150g Flour 190g Sugar 5 egg Yolks
4 Egg Whites 1 tbsp Vanilla Sugar
100g Butter 350g Chestnut Puré
2 tbsp Rum or Brandy 2 tbsp Cocoa Powder
300g Plain Chocolate (melted) pinch of Salt
100g Icing Sugar
METHOD:
Beat 4 of the egg yolks with 150g sugar until you get a smoothmixture.
Melt 50g of the butter and add to the mixture along with thevanilla sugar.
Beat the egg whites until stiff and then add to the mixture with apinch of salt.
Pour the mixture into a rectangular baking tin lined with lightlybuttered grease proof paper.
Cook in a pre-heated oven (220 degrees) for 10 minutes.Remove from the oven and place on a clean tea towel carefully
removing the sponge from the baking tray and removing thegrease proof paper slowly.
Form a roll with the sponge and once it has cooled sufficientlyplace in the fridge for an hour.
Prepare the filling using 1 egg yolk, 50g of butter, the chestnutpuré, the rum (or brandy), the cocoa powder and the rest of thesugar - mix everything together until it forms a smooth paste. Remove the sponge from the fridge and unfold carefully then
smooth over the paste and form into a roll again before placing inthe fridge for a further hour.
Slowly melt the chocolate in a bowl suspended over simmeringwater in a pan (make sure the bowl isn´t touching the water) thenonce it has cooled a little remove the roll from the fridge and pourthe chocolate over the roll - return to the fridge for at least an hour
before serving. 38
FORTHCOMING EVENTS FORDECEMBER IN AND AROUND OUR AREA
The Coin Branch of the Royal British Legion meets on the first andthird Wednesday of each month 11.00am at the Hotel El Palomar,Urbanization Miraville, Los Llanos de Coin. For information see ourwebsite at www.coinrbl.info or contact Jo on 952 451 671 or Den on 952453 829 Welfare number 672 025 756. Non-members most welcome.Forthcoming EventsThursday 10 December - Trip to Gibraltar for Christmas shopping.Cost €10 members, €12 non members. Leave La Trocha at 8.30 a.m.return to La Trocha at approx 6.30 p.m. Tickets from Mary on951240851 or 606923624 or at any of the meetings. Deposit of €5 perperson required. Don't forget your passport. Friday 11 December - Malaga Lights Leaving at 5.30 p.m. from LaTrocha. Tickets are €8 for members, €10 for non-members and €5 forchildren. Tickets are available from Jo (tel: 663157776) or at any of the meetings.Wednesday 16 December - 11 a.m. Christmas Social Meeting at Hotel ElPalomar. Mince pies, mulled wine, exchange Christmas cards andcarols. Raffle and Quiz. Friday 18 December - Christmas Party Petra has agreed we can bringour own buffet and she will cook chips to accompany it. This functionhas been an unqualified success in the past. Entertainment (bypopular demand) Karl Knight. Arrive 7.30 for 8.00 p.m. Cost in theregion of €6. Buffet list will be on the notice board. Book with Den atany of the meetings or on 637474753. Wednesday 30 December - Walking Group. Walk along the Rio Grande.Meet at La Chaka bins 10.45 a.m.. Soup stop at Finca Pollywood onreturn journey, cost for soup €1. Dogs on lead but no dogs at soup stop. Phone Den on 637474753. Every Thursday - Indoor market at La Trocha Commercial Centre in Coin.Every Sunday - market in the car park (under cover) at the La TrochaCommercial Centre in Coin.Saturday 12th December - ARCH Christmas Market 11-5pm at LaFinca in Alhaurin El GrandeSaturday 20th December - CHAIN and ARCH Saturday Market at JKsCoin from 11-2pmSunday 21st December - CHAIN Sunday Christmas Market at LaMasia, Villafranco from 10-2pmKARENSWAY DOG TRAINING - Classes are a mixture of obedienceand agility. I like to incorporate agility into my classes as 1 hour ofsolid obedience is too much for puppies and most dogs.Classes are currently on Wednesdays at 10:00 at the Campo de Futbol(Km 48.8) on the A343 Pizarra to Alora road. Classes have a durationof 1 hour. Any changes will be advised accordingly. Please phone toreserve a place. Tel: +34 952 112 115 Mob: +34 695 479 001.
What would happen if one of us dies in Spain?Ask yourself these questions:
1. Would you know who to call in the first place?2. Would they know the Spanish system regarding funerals?
3. Would they be able to cope with local laws and regulations in Spain?4. Normally funerals are held within 48 hours. Would family have time to get here?
5. Would funds be readily available to cover all costs?6. Could you cope with the above at a time of great sadness and stress?
Makes you think, doesn’t it?
If you cannot answer even one of these questions positively then one ofyour priorities should be to contact SPN today for more information aboutFuneral Plans.
Benefits: • Prices fixed at today’s costs - inflation proof.• Payable by lump sum or deposit plus instalments (no interest charged), in Euros Bank Transfer or Sterling at today’s rate.
• We only use reputable Spanish Funeral Directors with English-speaking staff who are fully knowledgeable about the Spanish system.
• Only one call to make to our dedicated 24 hour bereavement helpline. • All arrangements are in place from day one in accordance with your specific requirements.
SPN plans start from €2350.00
Please contact SPN Funeral Plans SL for more information on:
(0034) 952 595 691 or 952 491 788 Mobile 691 422 981Website: www.spnfuneralplans.com e-mail: [email protected]
