DRAFT VERSION 0 - University of Hawaiirdeese/RPG/D02/RUPv05.pdf · The Role-playing game DRAFT...

REAL ULTIMATE POWER The Role-playing game

DRAFT VERSION 0.05

By Evil the Ferret

The REAL ULTIMATE POWER Role-Playing Game

REAL Ninja Page 2 of 26

Table of Content Table of Content ................................................................................................................. 2 Introduction......................................................................................................................... 3 Setting ................................................................................................................................. 4

The World of Coolness ................................................................................................... 4 FAQ................................................................................................................................. 5

Rules ................................................................................................................................... 6 Character creation ........................................................................................................... 7

REAL Ninja Stats ....................................................................................................... 7 Number of points ........................................................................................................ 8 Meaning of Scores ...................................................................................................... 8 Kind of Ninja .............................................................................................................. 9

Resolution Mechanic ...................................................................................................... 9 Determining success or failure.................................................................................... 9 Difficulty Range........................................................................................................ 10 Being Totally Awesome ........................................................................................... 10 Being Totally Lame .................................................................................................. 11 Critical success and failure ....................................................................................... 11 Other uses for Ninja Stats ......................................................................................... 11

Fights! ........................................................................................................................... 12 Mook Kombat: .......................................................................................................... 12 REAL Ninja Kombat: ............................................................................................... 12 Pirate! Kombat .......................................................................................................... 13 Stabbing Kombat ...................................................................................................... 13

Seppuku......................................................................................................................... 14 Spells............................................................................................................................. 15 Getting Better................................................................................................................ 15 Playing a REAL Ninja .................................................................................................. 19

Being the Ninja Master!.................................................................................................... 20 Telling REAL Ninja Stories.......................................................................................... 20 Stats for Mooks ............................................................................................................. 21 Giving bonus and penalty to coin-pool ......................................................................... 21 Giving Getting Better points......................................................................................... 22 Time .............................................................................................................................. 22 Making things even harder............................................................................................ 23

Enemies............................................................................................................................. 24 Lexicon ............................................................................................................................. 25 Conclusion ........................................................................................................................ 26



Introduction Everyone knows about Ninjas. They are so awesome that everyone wants to be like them. They can kill anyone they want! They cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time This game let’s you play a Ninja, but not any kind of Ninja; a REAL Ninja, and that’s why is so cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet. That’s why it’s called the REAL ULTIMATE POWER ROLE-PLAYING GAME!!!!!! What is a Role-playing game? If you don't what a role-playing game is, you better get a life right now or REAL Ninjas will chop your head off!!! But before you read on, you should visit http://www.realultimatepower.net to witness the awesomeness of REAL ULTIMATE POWER (and get inspiration too!) Thanks The author of this document (who loves to refer to himself in the third person) would like to thank the following people for their help with making the REAL ULTIMATE POWER RPG a reality: Snarf, Monsieur Meuble, Belphanior, Halloween Jack, Hyphz, Play testers Snarf, Cailano, Sparrowhawk, Drake Dragonslayer, Kintara, Kahnol. Disclaimer This book was not written by the author of the REAL ULTIMATE POWER webpage and should be considered as homage to Mr. Hamburger. Most images and information in this book was taken directly from the webpage and it should not be considered as theft of Mr. Hamburger’s intellectual property but more as testament to his genius. For more information on REAL Ninja, go to his website at: http://www.realultimatepower.net This game uses a modified version of the Clawring Crabe’s d02 system, it can be found at: http://www2.hawaii.edu/~rdeese/RPG/D02/D02.htm



Setting The history of the REAL Ninjas is sweet, but also easy to remember. Here is a time line of important events that have to do with REAL Ninja.

The World of Coolness The World of Coolness is like our own – except that it’s cooler. Way cooler. And that’s because it has Ninjas. REAL Ninjas. Naturally, since REAL Ninjas are totally sweet and can do anything they want without thinking twice about it, it changes lots of things. So, if you really think about it, the World of Coolness is not at all like ours; it’s way better. The thing to remember about the World of Coolness is that the REAL ULTIMATE POWER is much more present that in “real” life (whatever that means). Everyone has seen at least a REAL Ninja and everyone dreams to be half as cool as the lamest REAL Ninja. The whole world turns around REAL Ninjas; they are the ultimate expression of coolness, and they ARE the World of Coolness.



Also, the World of Coolness has NOTHING to do with that sucky Brad Pitt movie called Cool World. That movie was just lame and the World of Coolness is nothing but lame. If someone makes a reference to that sorry excuse of a movie (it doesn’t even have a REAL Ninja in it!); the rest of the play can invoke the Third Rule and throw tons of stuff at that dude. So, in the world of REAL ULTIMATE POWER you can see REAL Ninjas Wail, you can see them Flipping Out and killing whole towns and you can even see them Popping Huge Boners. In that world, everyone knows that REAL Ninjas are totally sweet and that they don’t think twice about it. Welcome to the world of REAL ULTIMATE POWER.

FAQ Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about REAL ninjas? A: REAL Ninjas are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, REAL Ninjas are very careful and precise. Q: I heard that REAL Ninjas are always cruel or mean. What's their problem? A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, REAL Ninjas can be mean OR totally awesome. Q: What do REAL Ninjas do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out? A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they stab.



Rules The REAL ULTIMATE POWER ROLE-PLAYING GAME uses the D02 system for rules. The D02 knows no limits and is totally sweet and that’s why it’s used. It’s very simple but still very flexible; it’s the REAL ULTIMATE SYSTEM. You need at least two players unless you are crazy. One player is called the Ninja Master! and he is in charge of everything. Every other player makes characters, they are simply called Ninjas Wannabes but they are still cool. The goal of the game in the REAL ULTIMATE POWER ROLE-PLAYING GAME (RPG) is to flip out and kill people. As with everything, there are rules, REAL NINJA RULES. They are: The First Rule of the REAL ULTIMATE POWER RPG is the Rule of Fun. It means that if the game is boring you can slap the Ninja Master!, but only if the game is boring because he’s totally lame. If the game sucks because the Ninjas Wannabes suck ass, then the Ninja Master! can kick their asses. Also, anytime a Ninjas Wannabe is annoying, the Ninja Master! can throw stuff at him until he stops but he can’t really hurt him, at least not too badly. The Second Rule of the REAL ULTIMATE POWER RPG is the Rule of Awesome. As we all know, REAL Ninjas are awesome so Ninjas Wannabes who try to play REAL Ninja should always try to be awesome. If the Ninjas Wannabes are not awesome enough, the Ninja Master! can throw stuff at them until they start being awesome. Again, the player who is not being awesome and is receiving all the things thrown shouldn’t be hurt, unless he likes it. The Third Rule of the REAL ULTIMATE POWER RPG is the Rule of Lame. It’s pretty much like the second rule but it’s when you are totally lame. So, if you are lame at any time during the game (or real life, your pick) the other players (Ninja Master! & Ninjas Wannabes) can throw stuff at you until you stop being lame. As always, the lame dude should not be hurt too badly because if he did that would go against the First Rule, so go easy on him … or use Nerf Frisbees and stuff like that. These are the three REAL NINJA RULES that should never be broken, unless you feel like it or because you are totally lame (but never both). They are like a Secret Code of Honor for REAL Ninjas or something, but it’s for players of the REAL ULTIMATE POWER RPG. Any REAL Ninja playing this game would follow those rules without thinking twice about it. Ok, and there also are other rules that are not REAL NINJA RULES or anything like that, but they let you play the game so they are kind of important anyways.



Character creation First take the sheet of paper and a pen. Write down a cool name for your REAL Ninja and what Kind of Ninja he is. Then you have to divide a number of points between the REAL Ninja stats. The number of points if chosen by the Ninja Master!, but it’s the same for all the Ninja Wannabes, unless the Ninja Master! tells you otherwise.

REAL Ninja Stats

• Wailing on Guitar

This stat is mainly used to express awesomeness or to mark the end of the story. Then again, some REAL Ninjas just wail because they feel like it and that’s really cool.

• Popping a Boner

This stat is used to impress Hot Babes and to look very sweet. But sometimes Popping a Boner can be used for other things, like this one guy once popped one that was so long it discovered America. REAL Ninja Chicks can also pop a boner, if they feel like it.

• Flipping Out (and killing people)

As the name says, you use this stat when you want to flip out and kill people. Since REAL Ninjas flip out ALL the time, you’ll use this stat ALL the time too! Sometimes you’ll flip out and won’t even think twice about it, but you’ll still use this stat.

• Committing Seppuku

Sometimes a REAL Ninja will get bored and won’t feel like Flipping Out or Popping a Boner but they still want to do something Awesome. In that case, Committing Seppuku is the next best thing! If you manage to pull it off, people will be like “WOAH!”

• Flying

REAL Ninjas can run really fast, but they can also fly and that’s pretty sweet. Flying was invented by cool magic a long time ago and nowadays most REAL Ninjas fly almost everywhere. That’s why you don’t see them on airplanes or boats; they can fly much faster with their magic.



Number of points The number of points you get to put in scores for your REAL Ninja is decided by the Ninja Master!, like we said in the last page. The number of points will depend on the POWER LEVEL of the game; again it’s the Ninja Master! who decides what is the POWER LEVEL of the game, so bug him to know it and then you’ll know how many points you get by looking at this:

POWER LEVEL Number of points Lame 10 points Weak 15 points Normal 20 points Strong 30 points Sweet 35 points Awesome 40 points

Also, the Ninja Master! can make up other POWER LEVELS and give them names and numbers of points, it’s up to him.

Meaning of Scores To give an idea of what it all mean, here is the description of what the scores mean:

1. OK 2. Neat 3. Neato 4. Crazy 5. Cwazy 6. Tubular 7. Really Tubular 8. Sweet 9. Awesome 10. Totally Sweet

Example: if you have a score of 6 in Flipping Out, it means you are Tubular at Flipping Out.

A score of zero means you can’t use that skill AT ALL. So, if you have 0 in Flying, well you just can’t fly and it sucks to be you! It’s also possible to go higher than 10, but you have to be a BADASS. If you want to know how to be a BADASS, you need to bug the Ninja Master! and he might tell you if you are not too lame and don’t forget begging is pretty lame.



Kind of Ninja You also have the kind of Ninja you are playing. This is normally a description of a few words that always include the word Ninja somewhere. If you don’t put Ninja in the description, well, you aren’t a REAL Ninja and you suck. So better not forget to put it in. The kind of Ninja you are in important because it has some effect on the game in many ways. For example, let’s say you are playing a Redneck Ninja and you get attacked by this Pirate!. That normally would be easy, but in this case let’s say he is using a Cutlass of Redneck Slaying, you are in big trouble then! Or let’s say you meet this Hot Babe but she likes hairy REAL Ninjas are you are a Bear Ninja… it should really easy to impress or pork her. So, you see choosing the kind of REAL Ninja you are makes a lot of difference. During the game the Ninja Master! will decide how often and how your Ninja kind makes a difference.

Resolution Mechanic

Determining success or failure For time to time, the Ninja Master! will present challenges that require you to randomly determine success or failure. Here is how it’s done in the REAL ULTIMATE POWER Role-playing game: First take the stats that most fits what you are trying to do.

Example: if you are trying to impress a Babe, you’d use Popping a Boner. If you want to go get pizza you’d use Flying. You get the idea.

First, dig in your pocket and get some change. Then, take a number of coins equal to your stat, call a side, and slap it down on the table. If the side you called comes up, you win. If you have less coin in your pocket than your score, too bad, just use those coins and remember to bring more next game. This is called Slapping down and it’s the modified D02 coin-pool system.

Example: if you are Awesome at Popping a Boner and the Ninja Master! tells you to check if you can take a Babe home you’d slap down 9 coins on the table.



Difficulty Range Now, you Ninja Master! can give you bonus coins if the challenge is easy or he can give you penalties to your coin-pool if it’s really hard.

Example: let’s say that Babe you are trying to impress is a real airhead; the Ninja Master! can tell you to use one more coin than your Popping a Boner score. If the Babe is, like, super famous, he can tell you to remove coins from you coin-pool. If you happen to be out of coins after this, you are a looser and just fail.

These bonuses and penalties should never be bigger than 5, unless the Ninja Master! tells you otherwise. But if you get many bonuses or penalties the total can go higher than 5. So, let’s say you get a penalty of 5 on Wailing of Guitar because the REAL Ninja in front of peed in your guitar. If the bastard then tries to give you a bigger penalty by throwing sand in your face, well, it won’t work because you already got the maximum penalty from that dude. But if another moron peed in your guitar too, the total penalty could go higher than 5. This rule is kind of complicated and not really useful, so maybe the Ninja Master! will tell you to ignore it so better not remember it for nothing.

Being Totally Awesome When you do something and the Ninja Master! tells you to slap down some coin, the Rule of Awesome kind of says that you need to give a sweet description of what you are trying to do. The more awesome and sweet is the description of the thing you want to do, the bigger the bonus of coins you will get. It’s up to the Ninja Master! to decide how big is your bonus but the more details you give and the more awesome it is, the more points you’ll get so might as well make up something that’s really cool. The bonus you will get depends on how the Ninja Master! reacts to your description. The number of coins you get as bonus will be as follow:

Reaction of Ninja Master! Coin bonus Nice! + 1 Cool! + 2 Sweet! + 3 Awesome! + 4 Woah! + 5



Being Totally Lame

On the other hand, if you give a lame description the Third Rule says you should be punished. In that case the Ninja Master! will give you a penalty; instead of getting more coins for your Slap-down you will get some taken away. The number of coins you loose will again depend on how the Ninja Master! reacts:

Reaction of Ninja Master! Coin penalty Bah! - 1 Weak! - 2 Dude! - 3 Get a life! - 4 Lame! - 5

If after removing the penalty from your coin-pool you are left with no coins, you fail automatically and look very stupid. Also, every player will be laughing at you.

Critical success and failure If all coins turn up side you called, then that is critical success; it means you succeed and looked super cool at the same time. If they all are wrong side, it’s a critical failure and you are a loser and look stupid and you still fail. Also, if you only have a score of one you can’t get a critical success or failure; you are not cool enough for either.

Other uses for Ninja Stats Sometimes you’ll come up with some weird ways to use a stat, like using Popping a Boner to kill someone or Flipping Out to break down a wall. If you can convince the Ninja Master! it’s a good idea AND it looks cool, you can do! But it’s also possible that if it’s really farfetched that the Ninja Master! will be you a penalty to your coin-pool for that action but it still might be better than using another stat.

Example: let’s say that B.Spears Ninja is trying to kill a mean Ghost but she’s only OK at Flipping Out so she’ll have her ass handed to her on a spoon. Luckily for her she’s CRAZY at Wailling, so she tells the Ninja Master! that she’ll scream like mad at the Ghost to hurt him. Imagine that the Ninja Master! is pretty dumb and says it works. B.Spears Ninja could then use her Wailling to kick the Ghost’s ass. But it’s very possible that this insane Ninja Master! will give her a penalty to his coin-pool but it’s probably than just one die she’d get normally.



Fights! REAL Ninjas fight ALL the time, so it’s no surprise that fighting has its own section, here is how fights work.

Mook Kombat: Mooks are just normal people. They are whiny, slimy and easy to kill. When you decide to kill normal people you are doing Mook Kombat. It works like this: just use your Flipping out score and the number of coins that comes up the side you called is the number of Mooks you killed. This can be done as often as you want but your enemies can also try to do something every time you slap down some coins. They will probably try to flee or wet their pants or something, but you can still kill them with Ninja Stars.

Example: The Flying Guitar Monkey is at a diner and some dude drops a spoon, so you decide to kill the whole town. He is Cwazy at Flipping out so you slap down 5 coins and call head. The result is the number of Mooks he’s just killed. If there are any survivors he’d need do it again until they are all dead. They will probably try to flee or something, but that only makes if more fun to kill them.

REAL Ninja Kombat: When fighting another REAL Ninja, it works a bit differently than Mook Kombat. You still use your Flipping out score and slap down coins but the other REAL Ninja will do the same. To win you need to have more coins on the side you called than the other dude. If you win, the other REAL Ninja looses one point in his Flipping out score and if he wins you are the looser and take a point off your Flipping out score. You need to keep doing this until either of you have lost all their Flipping out points; the looser can now be laughed at and killed. The winner then gets back all his points at Flipping out.

Example: You are Neato at Flipping out and you fight a Red Ninja that is OK at Flipping out. You slap down 3 coins and call a side and he slaps down only one coin but still call a side. If you get more coins on the side you called you beat him and you can laugh at him and even kill him because he lost all his points in Flipping out. If the Red Ninja wins, you loose a point in Flipping out and become only NEAT at Flipping out. But remember, if you win you’ll get back to being NEATO at Flipping out so it’s not too bad.



Pirate! Kombat Pirate! combat is just like Mook Kombat but the result of your slap down is the number of pirate ships worth of Pirates! you kill instead of just the number of Mooks. That’s because Pirates are really weak compared to REAL Ninjas.

Example: Conan the Barbarianinja is at the beach porking some Hot Babes when a shipload of Pirates! land to get some Booty. He decides to kick their asses to teach them a lesson, so he slaps-down 5 coins because he is Cwazy in Flipping Out and calls out head. He gets 2 successes which good for killing 2 pirate ships for of Pirates! and since there was only one pirate ship, Conan can now go back to porking.

Stabbing Kombat REAL Ninjas can also Stab, it’s not as awesome as Flipping Out or as powerful but sometimes REAL Ninjas want to give their opponents a chance and will just Stab. If you want to do some Stabbing in combat, just slap-down some coins as usual but divide by 2 the number of people you kill. Stabbing another REAL Ninja is just lame and no one does it.



Seppuku Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. REAL Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few REAL Ninjas today. But if you want to commit Seppuku and you don’t have access to stuff like lasers, you can always do it by swallowing a Frisbee. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it, it’s really cool.

Step 1 Get a Frisbee from the store or friend. Step 2 Clean the Frisbee. Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream. Step 5 Get really super pissed. Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial) Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard. Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it. Step 9 Wait. Step 10 Die.

Example: A REAL Ninja who is Really Tubular in Seppuku decides that he wants to be super cool, so he gets a Frisbee some booze and tries to commit Seppuku. He slaps down 7 coins and call heads. Woah! They ALL turn out heads so he dies and everyone is like “HOLY CRAP!” but since he had a critical success it’s super impressive and the Ninja Master! decides that everyone around the world goes like “HOLY CRAP!!!!”.

If you kill yourself with a successful Seppuku roll, you rise as an undead or come back in some other way at the end of the scene (it’s up to the Ninja Master!). This is different from when you are killed normally, because you just die and go to Ninja Hell when that happens. If you are afraid of going to Ninja Hell, you should know that the 2 are the same but Ninja Heaven is a lot harder to get into. In addition to making everyone go “HOLY CRAP!”, committing Seppuku is a good way to get out of a fight you're losing. If you miss your Seppuku roll, look pretty stupid but you don’t die. You can try as often as you like or until you get it right. If you get a Critical Failure on your Seppuku roll, you are so totally lame that you go straight to Ninja Hell, but still alive! That means that when you will be beaten by Pirates! until the end of time and it will hurt as hell.



Spells A long, long time ago, REAL Ninjas invented to spells do to some cool stuff. Sometimes they call their magic Mojo but not all the time. Sometimes they’ll call casting spells “doing their Mojo” but not all REAL Ninjas are equally cool. Here is the list of spells available to ALL REAL Ninjas.

• Flying: REAL Ninjas are so used to flying that it’s not really a spell anymore and they can do it whenever they feel like it.

• Sticking to Wall: Sometimes when a REAL Ninja is tired and doesn’t feel

like flying he’ll just stick to walls. It’s a bit like Flying but easier and not as cool, but it’s still pretty cool to be able to kick Spiderman in the nuts. When trying to stick to walls, slap-down two times your score in Flying (if you have a score of zero just slap-down one die).

• Bio-Slime: REAL Ninja can also make some Bio-Slime that is very slimy

but also very eco-friendly (this make Tree-Hugging Hot Babes friendly to REAL Ninjas). This slime can be used to make the floor kind of slippery, to stuck Mooks in it or just to gross people out. You can make as much Bio-Slime as you want but it takes like 1 hour to make a gallon unless the Ninja Master! says it takes longer.

During the game it’s possible the Ninja Master! tells you that it’s possible to learn new spells. Usually this will be then you are really cool.

Getting Better At the end of every game, the Ninja Master! will give the Ninjas Wannabes a random number of Getting Better points. Those points can be added to any stats, as wanted by the Ninjas Wannabes. The cost to raise a score is the new score that you are going to have. So, to buy a score of ONE (OK) it costs 1 Getting Better Point. To raise a score to 2 it costs 2 Getting Better Points. You can always buy more than one point at the time but you need to buy for every point increase. So, if you are level 2 (Neat) and want to buy it up to 4 (Crazy), it would cost 3+4= 7 Getting Better Points.

Example: After a game the Ninja Master! gives 2 points to the Crocodile Ninja who decides to put then in his Wailing on guitar score. Crocodile Ninja was OK at Wailing on guitar and after adding his 2 Getting Better points he now is NEAT at Wailing on guitar.



REAL Ninja Gear Every Ninjas Wannabes starts with this stuff: Ninja Swords:

Every REAL Ninja has at least one sword, and not any kind of swords, they have Ninja Swords! These swords are really important when you flip out; for every Ninja Sword you have, you can kill twice as many people when Flipping Out. That’s why REAL Ninjas always carry swords.

Example: If you slap down in 3 coins on the side you called you normally kill 3 Mooks at the same time. But you have a Ninja Sword, you’d kill SIX! And if you have 2, then you’d kill TWELVE!

In REAL Ninja Kombat, the number of Ninja Swords used tells you how many additional points of Flipping Out the other REAL Ninja looses. That’s unless the other REAL Ninja is using Ninja Swords too! Then you'd loose the difference in Ninja Swords used in addition to the normal one point. So, if you were also using 5 Ninja Swords, you only loose one point. REAL Ninja Kombat can be VERY deadly.

The number of Ninja Swords a REAL Ninja can use at the same time is limited by his highest score.

Example: Let’s day the Leather-Clad Dominatrix Ninja has Cwazy as her a highest, she could use FIVE Ninja Swords!

Ninja Stars:

REAL Ninjas also carry Ninja Stars so when enemies run away they still can be killed even if the REAL Ninja doesn’t feel like running after them. So, for every Ninja Star a Ninja has he can kill on person running away, without even thinking about it twice! Normally every REAL Ninja has his own special Ninja Stars so people know who by who the person was killed. When making your REAL Ninja, you should decide how your Ninja Stars look like.



Ninja Outfit:

Everyone knows REAL Ninjas wear Ninja Outfit all the time, even when they sleep. If you don’t wear your Ninja Outfit you can’t use any of your REAL Ninja powers and are as easy to kill as normal people. Better not be caught without a Ninja Outfit; that’s why REAL Ninjas have several sets of Ninja Outfit. Ninja Outfits can be Black, Red or White. You can always wear an outfit of another color if you are a wimp.

Ninja Guitar:

How else could you wail? A REAL Ninja’s best friend. If you don’t have a Ninja Guitar, you just can’t wail. Then you’d have to go kill a REAL Ninja and take his Ninja Guitar. And no, normal guitars don’t work for REAL Ninjas. Again, REAL Ninjas tend to have their own special Ninja Guitar that’s totally sweet and wails just the right way.

If someone steals some of your stuff, you have to kill them.



Here is some stuff you can find during the game:

• Frisbee: When you don’t have any lasers to commit SEPPUKU, this item is the next best time. Just don’t forget to get really pissed.

• Lasers: Lasers are good for REAL Ninja who want to kill lots of Mooks

without Flipping Out. Each Laser has a score and that score is the number of people it can kill at the same time. This can be in addition to the normal number of Mooks you can kill by Flipping Out.

• Guns: Guns are the poor’s REAL Ninja Laser. They work pretty much like

Lasers but don’t have as high score and also need to be reloaded sometimes and that’s not cool. Guns will usually used by Pirates! But not REAL Ninjas.

• Ropes: Ropes are good either Babes or tying up fleeing enemies. They

can also be used to commit Seppuku, but the method is a closely guarded secret. Legend has it that a Rope Seppuku is pretty awesome but still not as sweet as a Frisbee one.

• Knives: Knives are just like Ninja Swords but for wimps. They are not as

big or sharp as Ninja Swords so it takes 2 of them to be as good as Ninja Swords. Again, knives are more used by Pirates! than REAL Ninjas.

• Spears: Spears pretty sweet weapon because they can be used like Ninja

Swords to kill enemies and REAL Ninjas can also throw them to kill fleeing enemies, just like Ninja Stars. The only problem is that they are big and you can only use one Spear at the time, so better stick to Ninja Swords and Ninja Stars.

• Spoons: Actually, There Is No Spoon in the REAL ULTIMATE POWER

RPG. REAL Ninjas just use chopsticks to eat. A REAL Ninja could always use Spoons to kill you, as long as it looks awesome.

• Booze: Booze is good for Seppuku and also really good for getting

Babes. Also, if you can’t find Babes, drinking lots of booze will turn normal chicks into real Babes.

• Hot Babes: Hot Babes are like Normal Babes but they are way hotter.

They are a bit like those you see in those web sites with naked ladies, but they wear clothes (most of the time). Hot Babes are harder to impress than normal people, so before messing with them be sure you have a high score in Popping a Boner or you’ll look like a looser.



Playing a REAL Ninja Since you are not a REAL Ninja, here is some information for role-playing REAL Ninjas, and by REAL, I mean totally sweet. Facts to help you be like a REAL Ninja:

• REAL Ninjas are mammals.

This may seem obvious, but it’s important and you should not forget it.

• REAL Ninjas fight ALL the time.

Some times you might think that you fight too much, but you are wrong! REAL Ninjas fight all the time and don’t think twice about it. And neither should you.

• The purpose of REAL Ninjas is to flip out and kill people.

So, when you don’t know what to do, you should always flip out. So, when something happens you should ask yourself: “What would a REAL Ninja do?”. The answer should ALWAYS be “Flipping Out”. If not, you can flying or stab.

• REAL Ninjas are totally awesome and that's a fact.

That goes without saying.

• REAL Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet.

They are totally awesome and that’s a fact.

• When REAL Ninjas do cool stuff, they don’t even think twice about it.

So, when you do something cool, you should never think twice about it. It’s one of the reasons why Ninjas are so awesome, they are very precise and careful but they don’t give a crap. They are the ultimate Paradox.



Being the Ninja Master! Being the Ninja master! is hard work but it’s also pretty cool, you get to make fun of Ninjas Wannabes who mess up and stuff. If you are not going to be the Ninja master! you should stop reading now. If you are still reading you are cheating and cheating is not cool. Any REAL Ninja would never think twice about cheating and would flip out instead.

Telling REAL Ninja Stories Your job as Ninja master! is to make up stories so the Ninjas Wannabes can go around Flipping Out and killing people. To have a really good story you’d need some Flying and maybe Popping a Boner or two. And a really sweet story will ALWAYS end with some Wailing. Here are some ideas for stories:

• The REAL Ninjas are eating somewhere and someone drops a spoon, the Ninjas then have kill the entire town.

• Some Babes are all staying at this stupid guy’s place, so the REAL Ninjas

need to go in the house to kill the stupid guy and take the Babes. But before that the REAL Ninjas also need to pop out a boner to impress the Babes.

• Some Pirates! have been attacking some schools and the REAL Ninjas

have to kill them all. Some Popping a Boner can also be done for charity since the Pirates burned the school and all.

• The REAL Ninja have to pork as many Babes at the same time as he can

to break the world record (which is 500 for now).

• Something is making Baby Jesus cry and the REAL Ninjas have to find out what and stop it.

These are just some ideas but you can make your own. But the most important thing is to remember the First Rule! Don’t forget, if you tell a boring story and the other dudes are not having fun, they can slap you!



Stats for Mooks Mooks (that is normal people) are not as cool as REAL Ninjas and don’t have REAL Ninja Stats, instead their have Normal Stats… which are pretty lame but it’s better than no Stats at all. They still get the same number of points than REAL Ninjas but you will see they are still pretty lame. Normal Stats are not as good as REAL Ninja Stats because they can only be used for what they were mean to, unlike REAL Ninja Stats which can be used for almost anything.

Example: A Pirate! could have stats for Killing, Pillaging and Stealing Treasures and it would mean he can only do those three things. He could not sing, eat hot dogs or ride a bike.

Normal Stats should be pretty restrictive since Mooks are way lamer than REAL Ninjas. For example a stat for “Chopping wood” is good but a stat for “Being a REAL Ninja” is not.

Giving bonus and penalty to coin-pool As written in the Ninja Wannabe section, you will sometimes give bonus for awesome descriptions and take away coins for lame description. The general way of doing this is written there, but here is some more help on how to decide how big the bonus or penalty should be. [To be completed]



Giving Getting Better points When a story ends, you should give Getting Better points to the REAL Ninja so they can get better. The number of point should depend on how awesome the Ninjas Wannabes were in the story. If they were lame you take them points for them. And if there totally lame you should make fun of them and not make them play anymore.

Time Sometimes it’s important to determine how much time it takes to kill so many people or how many Hot Babes you can pork in an hour. When that happens you’ll need to count time and that’s a bit boring so in this game there is a simple way of doing it: using “turns”. A turn is a unit of time like an hour or something but it’s more flexible. So, everything you slap-down some coins to do something it count as a turn and everyone can slap-down for something every turn, even Mooks.

So, when it’s important to count time you should divide things in turn and give everyone a slap-down per turn.

Example: The AmeriNinja meets 17,834 Mooks at the bus stop and starts to Flip Out without thinking twice about it. On the first “turn” he gets 4 successes and since he has 5 Ninja Swords he gets to kill 20 Mooks this turn. Normally the 17,834 Mooks would get an action but they are surprised and lame so they don’t do anything. On the second turn the AmeriNinja kills another 24 and the 17,790 Mooks decide to run away because they are so lame. He could do other things if they had the Stat for it (stuff like fainting, wetting their pants or crying like babies for example) but they don’t. So, every time the AmeriNinja would Flip Out (or do something cool that requires a slap-down), the rest could try to do something. Naturally, the only getting killed and stuff would just die.

The Ninja Master! can say it takes more than one turn do something even if needs only one slap-down. That’s one of the advantage of being the Ninja Master!, you can force the Ninja Wannabes to do stuff. For example, you can ask them to give you some chips or beer or else their REAL Ninja will die. You could also tell them to clean your room but it’s not sure they’ll be stupid enough to do it, but you can try.



Making things even harder You’ll notice that REAL Ninjas are pretty sweet and when they need to do a slap-down they’ll succeed at least half of the time. That’s normal since they are REAL Ninjas and really awesome but you may want to make things harder something for the Ninja Wannabes. In that case, as a Ninja Master! you can ask for more than one success for things to work. You could say that to fly faster than sound a Ninja Wannabe might need more than one success on his slap-down. To give you an idea of how many successes are needed you need to think how hard the thing is and look at this table:

Difficulty Number of successes needed Normal One Pretty Hard Two Really Hard Three Way Hard Four Almost Impossible Five Impossible Six

Really Impossible Seven Way Impossible Eight Super Impossible Nine Ninja Impossible Ten

Here is a table with the exact chances of succeeding with the different difficulties: (#S = number of success needed; #d02 = number of coins in coin-pool) #S \ #d02 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 50% 67% 75% 80% 83% 86% 88% 89% 90% 91% 2 0% 33% 50% 60% 67% 71% 75% 78% 80% 82% 3 0% 0% 25% 40% 50% 57% 63% 67% 70% 73% 4 0% 0% 0% 20% 33% 43% 50% 56% 60% 64% 5 0% 0% 0% 0% 17% 29% 38% 44% 50% 55% 6 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 14% 25% 33% 40% 45% 7 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 13% 22% 30% 36% 8 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 11% 20% 27% 9 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 10% 18% 10 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 0% 9%



Enemies REAL Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. But they also have some natural enemies. Here is a list of enemies REAL Ninjas can meet and kill:

• Pirates!

Pirates! are weak enemies, they are very easy to kill but do make good drinking buddies. They also have treasure sometimes which is pretty good. Rules for killing Pirates! can be found in the Fights! section.

• Samurais

Samurais are just wannabe REAL Ninjas. They are not as weak as Pirates! but not as strong as REAL Ninja. They should be treated as normal Mooks.

• REAL Ninjas

REAL Ninjas are totally awesome and that's a fact. Rules for fighting other REAL Ninjas can be found in the Fights! section.

• Snake Gandhi

Snake Gandhi is the ultimate BADASS. He’s like a ULTIMATE REAL Ninja but he is both mean AND totally sweet. Tons of REAL Ninjas tried to kill him, but they couldn’t. Most REAL Ninjas just stay away from him, and so should you.

• Killfuck Soulshitter

This guy is a REAL BADASS and that means trouble for REAL Ninjas, but he’s not as BADASS as Snake Gandhi. The best defense against Killfuck Soulshitter is to hide behind Snake Gandhi and not think twice about it.

• Ghosts

For some reason, REAL Ninjas are afraid of Ghosts but no one knows why. The real reason is probably because they are already dead and you can’t kill them. This makes Flipping Out useless and REAL Ninjas don’t like that since it’s what they do most of the time.



Lexicon [To be completed] • Mooks • REAL Ninja • Mojo



Conclusion You’ve now read all the rules for playing the awesome REAL ULTIMATE POWER RPG, so what are you waiting for?

Upcoming REAL ULTIMATE POWER RPG supplements

• REAL ULTIMATE NINJA BADASSES (Soon!)

The book that tells you how to be a BADASS. • REAL ULTIMATE ZOMBIONIC POWER (Pretty soon!)

The companion to upgrading to zombie-powered Flipping Out.

• REAL ULTIMATE MAGIC AND BIO-SLIME POWER (Kind of soon!)

The guide to REAL Ninja magic that makes Baby Jesus smile.

• REAL ULTIMATE SEIZURE CRITTER POWER (One day!)

A collection of awesome seizure critters for your REAL Ninjas to use.

Date post:	19-Mar-2020
Category:	Documents
Upload:	others
View:	8 times
Download:	0 times

DRAFT VERSION 0 - University of Hawaiirdeese/RPG/D02/RUPv05.pdf · The Role-playing game DRAFT...

Documents