EARLY ACADEMIC OUTREACH PROGRAM EDUCATIONAL TALENT SEARCH UPWARD BOUND COLLEGE OPTIONS Supporting...

EARLY ACADEMIC OUTREACH PROGRAM • EDUCATIONAL TALENT SEARCH • UPWARD BOUND • COLLEGE OPTIONS

Supporting Student Success

Comprehensive Review &the Personal Statement

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Presented by:

Edward Aguilar, DirectorAcademic Preparation [email protected]

Hong Pham, Regional Assistant DirectorEarly Academic Outreach [email protected]

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UC DAVIS ACADEMIC PREPARATION PROGRAMS

Goals & Objectives

• Session 1: Comprehensive Review• Session 2- April 23: The Personal Statement– Goal 1: Admissions Perspective• Function of PS in an Admission Decision• Content is Critical

– Goal 2: Advising & Coaching Students• Importance of THEIR Uniqueness• Common Personal Statement Pitfalls

– Goal 3: Writing• A Sample Lesson Plan

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The Admissions Perspective

The Function of the Personal Statement in an Admissions Decision

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Purpose of the Personal Statement

• Part of UC’s comprehensive review process

• Opportunity to provide information that supports and adds to the review process – providing context for student achievement

• Helps readers know and understand applicants – content is key

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Personal Statement Prompts

• Two questions

• Students respond to both questions.– A maximum of 1,000 total for both prompts– Students should stay within the word limit

as closely as they can. A little over—1,012 words, for example—is fine.

• Students choose length of each response.– Shorter response should be at least 250

words.

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Prompt #1

• Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

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Prompt #2

• Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you.

• What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

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Advising and Coaching Students

Helping Students Discover their Uniqueness

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Finding a Topic

• Preparation Questions handout• Deeply reflective exercise• Consider CR areas– Highlight qualities of a successful student– Consider “intellectual vitality” and “potential to

contribute”– UC gives consideration for leadership, special

skills and talents, and personal difficulty

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Finding a Topic

• Students are encouraged to write about special circumstances that have influenced their educational experience:

• Topic areas for LBHS students– Refugee experience– 1st generation college student– Parental role in family– Personal challenges beyond student control

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Feedback Areas

• Answering both parts of the question– Focus on 2nd part

• Explores topic deeply: depth vs. breadth• Time– Experiences during high school or that affected

their high school experience

• Information not captured on application• Specificity

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Common Pitfalls• REPEATING INFORMATION

In my junior year I was a cheerleader for my school. I worked really hard at it, and found it to be fun and challenging. I was also part of my school's Kids in the Kitchen program, which helped to make food available to poor people in my community. Cheerleading and volunteer work kept me very busy. I spent approximately twenty hours each week cheering and another five hours volunteering. I learned a lot from this experience and can manage my time effectively and maintain a positive attitude in the face of adversity.

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Common Pitfalls• COMPLAINING INSTEAD OF EXPLAINING

Because my mother is a single parent, she has had to make a lot of sacrifices to keep me and my brother in a private school. It means that we have to go without a lot of things, which is sometimes embarrassing. But even though everyone in my school knows that we are poor, no one is willing to give me a break. This is especially true of my English teacher, Sister Magdalena. Because she didn't like me, and she is not comfortable with poor people, she gave me a C in English when I really should have gotten a B.

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Common Pitfalls

• VOICE: CLICHÉS AND OVER-THE-TOP PROSE

– My father always told me that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. (A cliché)

– A feeling of indescribable disbelief overcame me. (Wordy prose)

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Common Pitfalls• “SELFLESSNESS”: FOCUSING MORE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S

EXPERIENCE

My mother is a refugee from Vietnam. At the young age of 17, she had to leave her country, her friends, and the only life she knew to escape communist oppression. As a child, I remember her struggle to learn English: as a matter of fact, I remember that we learned to read together when I was in kindergarten. Eventually, she learned enough English and was able to take some classes at a community college near our home. She earned an AA in accounting. I admire her strength, determination and resilience and she is a constant reminder to me that anything is possible as long as you can dream and are willing to work hard.

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Writing

Case Studies, Lesson Plan & Resources

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Case Study Discussion

• Case Study #1• Case Study #2• Case Study #3

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Lesson Plan & Resources• Lesson 1: Writing Process and Planning the

Personal Statement– Handouts: • Sample UC Application• Terms, Topics, Planning, and Organizing• Preparation Questions

• Lesson 2: Feedback and Revision– Handouts:• Guided Feedback forms : Author and Peer editor

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