124 The Mentee's Guide EXERCISE 7.S Mentor Attributes What are your strengths? What are your challenges? Mentor Attributes Strength Challenge 1. Approachable 2. Capable of honest self-examination 3. Care about and respect others 4. Committed to being an active mentoring partner 5. Committed to self-development and self-improvement 6. Emotionally intelligent 7. Empathetic 8. Feel secure about myself 9. Follow up on ideas,suggestions 10. Goal-oriented 11. Innovative problem solver 12. Not threatened by others' success 13. Open to new ideas 14. Positive role model 15. Reflective 16. Resourceful 17. Strong interpersonal skills 18. Trustworthy and willing to trust others 19. Value difference 20. Willing and able to spend the time The Mentee's Guide by Lois J.Zachary. Copyright e 2009 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Transcript
124 The Mentee's Guide
EXERCISE 7.S
Mentor Attributes
What are your strengths? What are your challenges?
Mentor Attributes Strength Challenge
1. Approachable
2. Capable of honest self-examination
3. Careabout and respect others
4. Committed to being an active mentoring partner
5. Committed to self-development and self-improvement
6. Emotionally intelligent
7. Empathetic
8. Feel secure about myself
9. Follow up on ideas,suggestions
10. Goal-oriented
11. Innovative problem solver
12. Not threatened by others' success
13. Open to new ideas
14. Positive role model
15. Reflective
16. Resourceful
17. Strong interpersonal skills
18. Trustworthy and willing to trust others
19. Value difference
20. Willing and able to spend the time
The Mentee's Guide by Lois J.Zachary. Copyright e 2009 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
1/50 The Mentee's Guide
EXHIBIT 3.3
Initial Mentoring Conversation: Preparing the Relationship
To Do list Strategies for Conversation Questions to Ponder
1. Taketime to get to know Obtain a copy of your mentor- What kind of information might youeach other. ing partner's bio in advance of exchange to get to know each other
the conversation. If one is not better? What points of connection haveavailable, create one through you discovered in your conversation?conversation. What else do you want to learn about
each other?
2. Talk about mentoring. Shareyour previous mentoring What did you like about yourexperiences with your mentor- experiences that you each want to carrying partner. forward into this relationship?
3. Shareyour learning and Describe your career vi- Why do you want to engage in thisdevelopment goals. sion, hopes and dreams, and relationship? What learning goals would
articulate broad learning goals align with your vision of the future?and the reasons why they areimportant.
4. Determine relationship Ask your mentoring partner Are you clear about each other'sneeds and expectations. what he or she wants, needs, wants, needs,and expectations for this
and expects out of the mentoring relationship?relationship.
5. Candidly share your per- Ask your mentor about What assumptions do you hold aboutsonal assumptions and his or her assumptions each other and your relationship? Whatlimitations. and limitations. Discuss are you each willing and capable of
implications for your contributing to the relationship? Whatrelationship. limitations do you each bring to the
relationship?
6. Discussyour personal Talk about your personal styles. How might each other's styles affect thestyles. You may have data from instru- learning that goes on in the mentoring
ments such as EI,MBTI,DiSC, relationship?-,
and LSJ.
Adapted from LosisJ.; Zachary, The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships.San Francisco:Jessey-Bass, 2000,p. 91.
56 The Mentee's Guide
EXHIBIT 4.1
Establishing Agreements
Components Questions Answered
Well-defined goals What do Iwant to learn/accomplish as a result of thisrelationship?
Success criteria and measurement How will we know if I am successful?
What is our process for evaluating success?
Accountability assurances How do we assure that we do what we say we aregoing to do?
Ground rules What are the norms and guidelines we will follow inconducting the relationship?
Who will be responsible for what?
Confidentiality safeguards What do we need to do to protect the confidentialityof this relationship?
Boundaries and hot buttons What are the not-to-exceed limits of this relationship?What hot buttons do you have that might presentbarriers and boundaries?
Protocols for addressing stumbling blocks What stumbling blocks might we encounter?
What process should we have in place to deal withthem as they occur?
Consensual mentoring agreement What do we need to include to ensure that thisagreement works for us?
Mentoring work plan What are the steps for achieving the goals?
What are the learning opportunities?
Adapted from Lois J. Zachary, The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships.San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2000, p. 95. .,
SMART GOAlSGoal setting is probably the most challenging aspect of establishing agree-ments for both mentors and mentees. SMART goals frame and define thefocus of the work to be done, eliminate ambiguity, provide a frameworkfor gauging progress and measuring success, ground the learning, and seta context for mentoring. They harness and focus energy and invite action.One mentor we interviewed noted the importance of clarity regardinggoals, "We were not really clear about the goals despite the fact that we had
68 The Mentee's Guide
EXERCISE 4.4
Confidentiality Checklist
Instructions: After you and your mentor partner have each completed this checklist individually, come toconsensus about which confidentiality protocols you want to adopt for your relationship.
Which of the following assumptions about confidentiality do you Yes No Nothold? Sure
1. What we discuss stays between us for as long as we are engaged inour mentoring relationship.
2. We can freely disclose what we talk about in our conversations withother people.
3. After our mentoring relationship has ended, it is OK to talk aboutwhat we discussed or how we related.
4. If there is a demonstrated need to know, we can appropriatelydisclose our conversations, impressions, etc.
5. What we say between us stays there unless you give me specificpermission to talk about it with others.
6. Some issues will be kept confidential while others will not.
7. It is OKto discuss how we relate to one another but not the content
of our discussions.
8. It is OKto talk about what we talk about as long as it is positive.
Are there other assumptions Ihold that should be added to this list?
Adapted from Lois J. Zachary, The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships. San Francisco:
We have agreed on the following goals and Our measures for successful accomplishment of
objectives as the focus of this relationship: each of these objectives will be:
1.
2.
3.
TO ENSURE THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS A MUTUALLY REWARDING AND SATISFYING EXPERIENCE,
WE AGREE TO:,
1. Meet regularly.
Our specific schedule of contact is as follows:
2. Look for multiple opportunities and experiences to enhance the mentee's learning.
We have identified the following opportunities for learning (e.g., projects, task forces, client teams, confer-
ences):
3. Maintain confidentiality of our relationship.
Confidentiality for us means ...
4. Honor the ground rules we develop for the relationship.
Our ground rules are ...
5. Provide regular feedback to each other and evaluate our progress.
We will do this by ...
At least once during the course of the next year, and again at the conclusion of the mentoring cycle, we
agree to review this agreement and evaluate our progress and our learning. If we choose to continue our
mentoring partnership, we may elect to do so, as long as we have discussed and agreed to the basis for
that continuation. Should we decide to conclude the relationship earlier than we anticipate, we agree to do
so with appropriate closure.
Mentor Date
Adapted from Lois J.Zachary, The Mentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships.San Francisco: Jessey-Bass, 2000.
Doing the Work 83
EXERCISE 5.1
Mentoring Partnership Accountability Checklist
Rate Your Meetings Against the Criteria Below: III GIGI .cE ......',0:: 0 III... GI >-GI .. GI tel> E III E ~GI 0 0
z I/) s j:: "<
We meet regularly.
We do a good job of communicating schedule changes ,
that may affect mentoring meetings.
We notify one another if we cannot follow up or honor ourcommitments to each other.
We eliminate outside influences and distractions when wemeet.
We check out our assumptions.
Our communication is clear and misunderstandings areinfrequent.
We check in with each other to make sure that we stay ontrack with the learning goals.
We provide feedback regularly and make sure it istwo-way.
Our meetings are relevant, focused, and meaningful.
We acknowledge and address conflict when it occurs.
We are conscientious about safeguarding confidentiality.
TOTALS DDDDThe Men tee's Guide by Lois J. Zachary. Copyright e 2009 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
94 The Mentee's Guide
EXHIBIT 5.1
Feedback Tips and Strategies
Strategies "Wl'!,~tYou Ci;!npo Tips
Seekfeedback Beproactive about getting feedback Bespecific and descriptive in asking forfrom your mentor. feedback.
Make sure that what you are asking foris clear and understandable.
Besensitive to others' time.
Receivefeedback Seefeedback asa gift and an opportunity Be focused.for improvement. Listen and really hear.Be receptive and keep an open mind. Ask questions for clarification.Avoid being defensive. Acknowledge the other person's point
of view.
Thank your mentor for the input.
Accept feedback Think about the positive messages you Take time to digest the feedback.heard. Catch yourself being defensive.Reflect on the information that surprised Look for ways in which the feedbackyou. will help with your self-development.Challenge your own thinking. Discussyour insights with your mentor.
Act on feedback Focuson your goals and priorities. Develop an action plan.
Check in with yourself periodically to Communicate your plan to your mentor.determine how you are doing. Continuously look for ways to integrateMove forward. what you've learned from the feedback
you received.
Give feedback Direct feedback toward something that is Set a context.changeable. Bespecific and descriptive.Offer feedback when it is most timely and Be nonjudgmental.relevant. Beauthentic.
Be respectful of differences.
work has taken over my life. I budget my time carefully every day but itruns away from me as I get into my work. I get home exhausted and seemto have no time to chill out. How do you make it work so well? What sug-gestions do you have for me?" Or, "I just received some feedback from mysupervisor and it just doesn't make any sense to me. I think she doesn't get
Doing the Work 97
EXHIBIT 5.2
Tips for Mentees in Engaging in Feedback
What to Do How to Dolt Examples
Early on provide feedback about Cite what helps you and what you "Here's the kind of feedback Iamwhat works for you. don't respond well to. looking for ... "
Offer concrete examples. "What works for me is ... /I
Be aware of your communication Share information about each "Iam someone who needs to thinkstyle and how it meshes with that other's learning style and discuss about what is said before I respond."of your mentoring partner. the implications for feedback. "I am more receptive when Ireceive
a balance of positive and negativefeedback."
Identify incidents and areas in Tell your mentor what you did, "How do you think I handled it?"which you are seeking help and how you did it. Describe your "What would you have said ifthatask for feedback on situations that thinking process. had happened to you?"you did/can do something about.
When you talk from your When seeking feedback, set a "Here's where Iwas coming from."perspective, remember that there context and be descriptive, but "The way Isaw it was ... II
might be another reality. not defensive, so that your mentor"What Iwas trying to do was ... "
can understand the situation fully.
Check out your understanding of Listen actively. "If I understand what you are sayingwhat is being said. Clarify and summarize.
II..."00 you mean ... II
Use a tone of respect, especially if Take care not to be defensive or "I appreciate that you are trying toyou see things differently. attack your mentor's feedback or give me another point of
point of view. view ... II
"I am wondering why you think thatapproach wouldn't work ... II
"Can Iask you a question about thatfeedback?"
,-Avoid responding to feedback Ask for time to get the "To be honest with you, I need towhen you are angry, defensive, or information you need. Faking think about that a little more."need more time to process it. acceptance doesn't work. "Ithink Iwas hoping for a bit more
support from you."
Think about feedback as Continuously link progress and "Ihave been focusing on the goalmovement forward rather than learning to the big picture and of... and your feedback helps me seeinterruption from the journey. the journey and learning goals. a pattern I have developed that is
getting in the way."
Adapted from LoisJ. Zachary, TheMentor's Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships. San Francisco:Jessey-Bass, 2000, p. 153.
-,Coming to Closure with Your Mentor 109
EXHIBIT 6.1
The Closure Conversation: Core Elements
Core Elements Questions to Address
Coming to a learning conclusion:thespecific learning derived fromthe mentoring experience
Did I achieve my learning goals?
If yes,what did I learn asa result?
If no, what got in the way?
What was the most valuable thing my mentor taught me?
What specific insight, approach, or perspective did I gain?
What else do I need to learn?
What did I learn about mentoring? About being a mentee?
What did I learn about myself asa person?
What has being in this relationship taught me about myself asa learner?
What would I do differently in my next mentoringrelationship?
Integrating learning: applyingand integrating what you learned andtaking it to the next level
Redefining the relationship: spelling outhow your relationship will be differentonce this phase of the relationship ends
How will you apply what you've learned?
What will you do as a result of what you've learned?
What specific action steps you will take?
What are meaningful ways to celebrate what you'veaccomplished?
How will you express your appreciation to your mentor?
What happens after the mentoring relationship?
Do you want to continue to be in contact? If so,on whatbasis?
anxiety, fear, or hope. Even if your mentor wants to end the relationshipand you don't, you must honor·her wishes. Gauge where you and yourpartner are in the accomplishment of goals and objectives. If you've met allthe goals and objectives, it is time to celebrate and move on.
Ending a Relationship PrematurelyEven if the life cycle of the mentoring relationship has been established inadvance, there are situations in which it may make sense to end the rela-tionship prematurely. Some examples include relocation or redeployment,promotion to the same position as your mentor, pregnancy or illness that
COACHING MENTEES: RESUME CRITIQUE AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Overview: This is an activity that requires mentor to meet with each of yourmentees individually. This meeting should take roughly one hour per mentee ifinclude time to get to know your mentee (20 minutes).
Goals:• To practice providing constructive feedback• To practice good listening skills• To help mentees get socialized into the Krannert Community• To provide Krannert career advice to men tees
Preparation:1. Obtain a copy of each mentee's resume prior to meeting with your mentees
and bring two copies to meeting (one for you and one for your mentee totake notes on).
2. Bring two copies of your most updated resume to each meeting with yourmentee. Provide your mentee with one of the copies.
*Note that mentors can use Linkedln accounts in addition or instead ofresumes if theyprefer.
Activity:Step 1: Get to know each other. Spend the first 20 minutes getting to know eachother. Topics include: where did each of you grow up? Do either of you havebrothers and sisters? How close is each of your families in relation to Purdue? Whatdo each of you like to do for fun? What clubs, sports, etc. have each of you been apartof in the past? Do either of you have any work experience? The purpose of thisconversation is simply to get to know each other as a person and to begin to developa relationship with your mentee. During this conversation, your mentee should bedoing a good deal of the talking (at least for 10 of the 20 minutes) although it isencouraged for you to share some personal information with your mentee to helpestablish trust.
Note: Ifyou have already had this conversation with a mentee, you can focus moreon the next step.
Step 2: Discussgoals. Have a conversation with each mentee about what they'd liketo accomplish professionally both short term (at Purdue) and long term (afterPurdue). During this conversation, be sure to have copies of the mentee's resumeavailable to refer to. Also, have your resume available as a reference to showmentee's how your resume has developed from your time at Purdue and how youhighlighted your different experiences and skills.
Step 3: Create afuture resume by identify opportunities for mentees to seek out basedon their goals identified in Step 2. Help mentees identify activities and opportunities
that could help your mentee accomplish the mentee's short term and long termgoals identified earlier. Help mentees create a "future" resume (job market resume)that captures these activities (having one or more items per goals is fine - This is awish list!) and reflects the accomplishment of mentee's short-term (and perhapslong-term) goals. This is also a good time to discuss time management skills andprioritizing responsibilities and activities.
Also consider whether there are other skills or life experiences not captured ontheir resume that could be further highlighted or clarified on their current resumebased on the conversation you had with them.
What to turn in to instructor:
A reflection paper about the interactions you had with your men tees (no more thantwo pages double-spaced typed, times new roman, 12 point font, 1" margins). Thereflection could include how you thought your mentees reacted to the activity, yourown reactions, as well as what you learned from the experience, etc. Be sure toconsider what went well and what didn't go so well and why. Also, consider howwould you do things differently ifyou had the opportunity to do it again. There areno wrong answers here rather it is a means to be more deliberate in reflecting onyour experiences as a mentor. Engaging in reflection is a highly effective practicedone by great mentors and great leaders for developmental purposes.
Tips:Keep it light and informal.Be attentive.Be encouraging.Be open and nonjudgmental.Domake suggestions .•
