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Find Inner-Stillness · My body also changed. For much of my life, I had struggled with my weight....

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Page 1: Find Inner-Stillness · My body also changed. For much of my life, I had struggled with my weight. I had tried a lot of different diets and fads. It wasn’t until I learned meditation
Page 2: Find Inner-Stillness · My body also changed. For much of my life, I had struggled with my weight. I had tried a lot of different diets and fads. It wasn’t until I learned meditation

Find Inner-Stillnessin 10 Minutes a Day

A Beginner’s Guide to

MEDITATION

Sura Kim

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Copyright © 2016 by Sura Center.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the pub-lisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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CONTENTS

Introduction ............................................................................................................................. 1

Why Would I Want to Meditate? .........................................................................................5

Finding Freedom Through Presence ...................................................................................7

Myths and Misconceptions ....................................................................................................9

How Meditation Works .......................................................................................................12

Health Benefits ......................................................................................................................14

Different Methods .................................................................................................................16

Intention-Based Meditation ................................................................................................19

Tips and Helpful Hints .........................................................................................................24

What to Expect When You’re Meditating ........................................................................29

The Deeper Connection .....................................................................................................31

Clearing the Hurdles ............................................................................................................34

Getting the Most From Your Practice ..............................................................................36

Starting Your Own Practice ................................................................................................39

In Closing ................................................................................................................................42

About the Author .................................................................................................................44

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INTRODUCTION

“One does not practice meditation to become a great meditator. We meditate to wake up and live, to become skilled at the art of living.”

– Elizabeth Lesser

In 2004, I was working with hedge funds on Wall Street as Vice-President of Institutional Sales for a boutique company. I had many of the things I thought I always wanted—a beautiful place to live, friends, money, a successful career—but

inside, I felt empty.

I was desperate and prayed to find a way to live on the planet. That’s when I discovered meditation. I bought a beginner’s book about Zen meditation and taught myself how to meditate by counting my breaths from ten to one. It was tough in the beginning. Counting my breaths from ten to one was deceptively hard. Between eight and seven, my attention would wander back to the regular chatter of my mind. But after some time, sitting on the cushion began to feel like coming home. I cried many tears on that cushion. I experienced emotions I hadn’t felt in a long time—some since I

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was a child. I felt deep joy, sadness and love. Meditation was profoundly healing. It slowly brought me back to myself again.

The simple practice of watching my breath affected every aspect of my life. For years, I had practiced yoga, but could never do certain poses and had accepted I simply wasn’t flexible enough. After only a few months of meditating, my flexibility and confidence significantly improved. I could do a headstand, a pose I could never do before. Work also expanded. Because of my newfound practice of meditation, I shared more with my clients. I focused less on making money, more on cultivating relationships with my clients and asking how they were. Even though I worked fewer hours so that I could focus on yoga and meditation, I had more clients and income than ever before. My body also changed. For much of my life, I had struggled with my weight. I had tried a lot of different diets and fads. It wasn’t until I learned meditation that the extra weight naturally fell off and stayed off. By learning how to restore myself through breath and relaxation, I shed four sizes in six months.

Meditation transformed my life. I couldn’t get enough. I wanted to learn more. In December of 2004, I decided to book an extended trip to Southeast Asia where people lived the practice of meditation. The day before I was to depart on my trip, I learned that I had narrowly missed a massive tsunami that hit Southeast Asia. The resort where I was scheduled to be, Charlie’s Beach Resort on Koh Phi Phi Island, was completely wiped out. Tragically, there were no living survivors among the staff or guests.

That devastating natural phenomenon was a huge wake up call for me. For most of my life, I had been waiting to live my dream. What I wanted seemed always out of my reach—I thought that only once I made enough money or reached a certain

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milestone in my life would I be worthy of doing what I really wanted. What was I waiting for?

That’s when I decided to take a leap of faith and leave Wall Street to backpack around the world. I had no idea what it would be like to travel alone. I was scared—before I left for Asia I cried out of fear. The first night of my trip I got lost in Bangkok and broke down, thinking I had made a big mistake. But when I allowed myself to trust and let go into my experience, everything shifted, and that night turned into one of the best nights of my life. The next year and a half turned into a magical journey filled with adventure and synchronicity.

Meditation gave me renewed courage. It helped me live in a new way. I listened to myself. I let myself do things that I loved. I stopped thinking ahead—“What would I get from this? What am I going to do?” Instead, I focused on what was in front of me. I started each day with two hours of personal meditation and yoga practice and I noticed how it affected the rest of my day.

Upon my return to the States, I began teaching yoga. Shortly after, I was asked to teach meditation. I had no idea how to teach meditation, so I taught people to start the way I had started—by counting their breaths. Meditation is like attending your inner church. It’s your personal sanctuary, a time of quiet, peace and reflection. It’s not always easy to be present with yourself and make conscious choices. But by starting the day grounded and centered, you can become more present to the demands of everyday life. When you learn how to center yourself, you make better choices. Meditation enriches the quality of your life and takes you on an inner journey toward the Self. It’s a gift that continually keeps giving and teaches you how to live fully.

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The meditation practices offered here are intended to be simple and insightful. I hope they inspire you to start your own personal practice. Take what resonates with you and leave behind the rest.

May your journey with meditation be filled with wonder and joy.

Warm blessings,

Sura

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WHY WOULD I WANT TO MEDITATE?

“Restore your attention or bring it to a new level by dramatically slowing down whatever you’re doing.”

– Sharon Salzberg

Consider all the things that create noise in your world—the demands for your time and attention, the mental messages that keep you distracted, the hum of electronics in the background. Have you ever set aside a certain time of

day just for you? When was the last time you experienced stillness?

Our minds tend to vacillate between the past and the future. Our thoughts constantly take us away from the present moment, whether they are filled with plans for the future, events that happened last week, or even memories of five years ago. It’s easy to get wrapped up in our heads. The constant replay of what has come before and anticipation of what lies ahead can feel like being caught up in a constant swirl. In

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meditation, we take time to slow down and turn our attention inward. We quiet our thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow by sitting still and being present right now.

People come to meditation for many different reasons, from reducing stress to inspiring creativity. Through meditation, you can learn to free yourself from the distractions and burdens of your mind. Meditation is a powerful resource for healing and finding balance—as well as releasing ourselves from past wounds and limiting beliefs.

The Medical Dictionary by Farlex defines meditation as:

A practice of concentrated focus upon a sound, object, visualization, the breath, movement, or attention itself in order to increase awareness of the present moment, reduce stress, promote relaxation, and enhance personal and spiritual growth.

No matter what your intentions are for beginning to practice, there are many benefits to meditation—you may be surprised to find that it gives you more than you were even seeking. It has the potential to improve your health, activate your true potential and expand your consciousness. Meditation teaches you naturally through your own experience. By quieting your thoughts and invoking a calm state of being, you can move beyond the constant chatter of the thinking mind. When the thinking mind takes a break, insight and intuition have an opportunity to emerge.

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FINDING FREEDOM THROUGH PRESENCE

“Meditation is offering your genuine presence to yourself in every moment.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Many of us obsess about relationships, possessions, or personal conflicts in negative ways—often without even realizing we’re doing it. Meditation can release you from the pattern of discursive thought, the mental chatter

that never goes anywhere useful. The more you observe your thoughts, the more neutrality and non-attachment you can feel toward them. In that way, meditation frees you from your own conditioning and limiting beliefs. One of the main benefits of meditation is personal freedom. You could also describe this experience as self-realization, liberation, or simply being your authentic, true self.

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This is what meditation is all about—allowing ourselves to just be and embrace whatever comes in the moment. Once you can do this consistently, you begin to feel inner peace and realize the essence of who you truly are. In this place of deep peace and centeredness you gain greater clarity, insight, and ease in your everyday lives.

If you are committed to your practice, it can profoundly affect your life in positive ways. It can improve your relationships with yourself and others, deepen your compassion and social connection, reduce aging and stress, and improve your overall health. It also helps you to deal with change, uncertainty, and transition. Meditation connects you to your center and allows you to be present to whatever shows up in your life, whether it is positive or negative, painful or joyful.

This beginner’s guide will provide you with a basic guided meditation to get you started in your own practice. The key to a successful and sustainable meditation practice is to have an open, flexible approach. Your practice does not have to be a serious, obligatory form of self-torture. Meditation can also be a fulfilling and pleasant experience.

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MYTHS AND MISCONCEPTIONS

“The real meditation is how you live your life.”

– Jon Kabat-Zinn

Before going further, it’s important to address a few myths and misconceptions people have about the practice of meditation.

MYTH: Meditation is a hard and serious practice. People tend to shy away from the practice of meditation even though they sense that it would benefit them. The prospect of having to sit still with your own thoughts can be overwhelming and scary.

TRUTH: Meditation can be an easy and accessible practice. Meditation is a practice for your own personal growth and benefit. Start where you are and let go of any self-judgment. It’s important not to beat yourself up for not being able to

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meditate a certain way, whether it be meditating for “enough” time or achieving a specific state of being.

Reward yourself when you’re able to practice, but don’t guilt-trip yourself when you don’t practice. Simply notice when you don’t meditate and be aware of your thoughts. You don’t have to live up to anyone else’s expectations or experiences of meditation. This practice is for you. It is possible to make meditation a high point of your day.

MYTH: Meditation is a religious or spiritual practice. You have to follow a belief system or faith to practice meditation, such as yoga or Buddhism.

TRUTH: Meditation is a universal practice that does not require faith or belief. While there are many forms of meditation that include religion and spirituality, you do not have to adopt any particular beliefs or religious ideologies to meditate. Meditation is a practice for raising awareness, turning inward, and living our best selves. If you do practice a faith or religion, meditation can be a wonderful complement to your personal practice by expanding your spiritual connection.

MYTH: Meditation is too complicated. Another fear that people have about meditation is simply not knowing where or how to start. It’s such a broad topic filled with so much information that it can be difficult to know where to begin.

TRUTH: Meditation can be a simple practice. At its core, meditation is a way of quieting the mind and inviting relaxation so you can be more focused, productive, and peaceful. You don’t need a complex or intense practice to achieve this goal. You can start with as little as ten breaths a day.

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MYTH: Meditation isn’t right for me. Maybe you feel meditation isn’t for you because you aren’t able to “turn off” your thoughts or you are too easily distracted.

TRUTH: Meditation is for everyone. Anyone can practice meditation. It is a constant practice and continuous process of learning and discovery. Meditation is a tool you can use throughout your life to realize greater peace, calm, and centeredness. In fact, the more you feel that you can’t meditate, the more likely you’ll benefit from meditation.

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HOW MEDITATION WORKS

“Meditation allows us to directly participate in our lives instead of living life as an afterthought.”

– Stephen Levine

Meditation is a valuable practice, but how does it improve my life? People come to meditation for various reasons. Sometimes it is to reduce stress or to relax more—to find sanctuary away from all the pressures of your life.

For some, it is to gain enlightenment by connecting with a higher power or their higher selves. When you meditate, you become even more aware of your thoughts. Through the practice of sitting with your own thoughts, however annoying or painful they may be, you eventually learn to calm your mind and witness the space between your thoughts. This space may feel very scattered and frantic at first, but through consistent practice, your mind will begin to slow down. In the pauses between your

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thoughts, you begin to connect to the larger aspects of who you really are. Through silence and stillness, you are invited to experience a deep sense of contentment, joy, and fulfillment.

Moving beyond your own mind allows you to experience a new inner freedom. It helps you quiet the voice in your head that is constantly assessing and judging, telling you when you or others are right or wrong. Through meditation, you begin to filter the clutter from your mind and discover the natural cadence of your breath. When this happens, you are able to discern which thoughts are useful and beneficial, and which thoughts are distracting and destructive. You gain the ability to perceive beyond the dualities of good and bad, right and wrong, and realize higher states of being that include oneness, presence, and unity. Meditation gives you an opportunity to look more deeply at the triggers, thoughts and beliefs that keep you bound at an unconscious level to unproductive patterns in your life.

By seeing more clearly the limitations of your thoughts, you release yourself from the noise that keeps you from being present. When you are present, you are no longer bound by past or future, attachment or resistance, likes or dislikes. Through meditation you discover inner peace, tap into your authentic power, and experience liberation. Simply, you are free.

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HEALTH BENEFITS

“If a person’s basic state of mind is serene and calm, then it is pos-sible for this inner peace to overwhelm a painful physical experi-ence.”

– The Dalai Lama

In our lifestyle today, many of us tend to live in a perpetual state of mild anxiety, also known as the “fight or flight” response. This response is meant to help us in times of danger, but in modern life it’s triggered constantly, never leaving us a

moment to rest and restore. When our stress response is constantly turned on, it depletes our internal resources, including our immunity and energy. Stress is the number one cause of disease. It creates hypertension and can lead to a host of health issues, including emotional disturbances like depression and anxiety. Learning how to calm the mind and relax the nervous system is invaluable to maintaining true mental and physical health.

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There are numerous health benefits to meditation: it decreases stress, lowers blood pressure, and calms our nervous system. It’s also been known to boost the immune system and cultivate inner resilience. Meditation has the potential to heal the body by promoting balance and stability. It supports the parasympathetic nervous system—the part of us that “rests and digests”—which allows our bodies to eliminate toxins, to repair, and to restore. Meditation has a myriad of positive benefits and helps to increase our overall sense of well-being. The practice of meditation empowers us to live happier, more balanced and fulfilled lives.

Scientific studies have shown that meditation benefits you in the following ways:

♦ Lowers your blood pressure

♦ Improves your immune system

♦ Lowers risk of heart disease and stroke

♦ Helps you control habits like eating, drinking and smoking

♦ Reduces stress by stimulating your parasympathetic nervous system

♦ Decreases your sensitivity to pain

♦ Cultivates focus and self control

♦ Stimulates creativity and insight

♦ Helps you control depression and anxiety

♦ Increases your ability to communicate in relationships

♦ Makes you more optimistic and positive

♦ Boosts your self-esteem and confidence

♦ Improves your memory retention and recall

♦ Combats aging and increases longevity

♦ Makes you feel more connected and compassionate

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DIFFERENT METHODS

“All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness.”

– Eckhart Tolle

There are hundreds of meditation techniques and practices. There are many types of meditation, including yogic meditation, Taoist meditation, and mindfulness meditation. You can practice meditation while walking, sitting, dancing, or

singing. With any of these approaches, the intention is to cultivate greater levels of awareness and presence. All of these meditation styles are intended to expand your consciousness and connect you to your innate divinity. Your consciousness is your state of awareness—of being fully awake and attuned to your surroundings, thoughts, emotions, feelings, and environment. Through meditation, you naturally expand your consciousness.

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No one method is better than another. In this program we will cover three of the most basic types of meditation: focus, awareness, and visualization.

1. FOCUS – In this practice you will completely focus your attention and energy upon a single phrase or subject. The focus of your attention can be internal—your breath or a positive affirmation, for example—or it can be external—an object such as a printed symbol or a candle flame. In focus meditation, you give the mind an activity to engage in, something to be consumed and absorbed by. By inviting your mental awareness into a state of pure concentration and single-mindedness, you can steady and calm the mind, allowing you to experience higher states of awareness.

2. AWARENESS – With this technique, you are not engaging in any single method of meditation. You are simply sitting still, aware of all that arises—your breath, your physical sensations, your emotions. The intention of awareness meditation is not to create a particular experience, but simply to be open fully to the experience you are having. When you have thoughts, instead of resisting them or trying to change them, you simply observe and take note of them without judgment. This method of meditation is also called “insight meditation” because when you sit in stillness, you create the inner space and quiet that allows you to receive your own wisdom and intuitive messages.

3. VISUALIZATION – Here, you engage the faculties of your imagination to help you further relax and develop your awareness. By visualizing what you want to create, you can more readily realize your personal goals and intentions. Visualization is often most effective when the mind is totally calm and the body is relaxed, such as at the end of a yoga practice. People use this type of creative meditation for specific purposes and intentions, such as achieving health, serenity or accomplishment. For example, some people may use visualization before a performance or athletic event to ensure optimal

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success. By intensely envisioning yourself fulfilling a certain outcome, you vastly increase the chances of it coming true.

In the beginning, it’s natural to try different kinds of meditations so you can find one that authentically resonates with you. However, the key to successful meditation is to eventually settle on one practice and work with it consistently. If you continually change your core practice, you will find it difficult to be deeply committed. It’s like trying to learn music by experimenting with a different instrument every day. If you find one instrument and stick to it, you will develop your skill and be able to play one instrument beautifully. You can still play other instruments from time to time, but it’s important to consistently practice and play one if you want to truly expand your skill and ability.

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INTENTION-BASED MEDITATION

“My life is a creative act--like a painting, or a concerto.”

— Ram Dass

Intention-based meditation is a creative meditation technique designed to help you realize your true heart’s desire. For example, you can dedicate your practice to what it is you truly want to create, whether it be physical healing, realizing

your potential or cultivating self-awareness. Applying a specific purpose to your meditation helps anchor you more deeply during your practice, while also creating specific results in your life.

An intention helps create a personal guide for your practice. It’s easy to get lost in the loopholes and never-ending conversations of the mind. Instead of getting caught up in mental wormholes, you can set an intention to slow down the rate of your

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breath. This simple focus gives you a center to return to, allowing you to connect more readily to the present moment.

Being connected to your intention also helps you cultivate your daily sitting practice. Having a higher purpose provides you with extra motivation to sit even when it’s difficult. It’s one thing to passively watch your mind for thirty minutes everyday, which may or may not have a calming effect. It’s another thing to dedicate your practice towards peace for your family. Connecting to personal inspiration will often fuel you with the focus you need to commit to a sustainable practice.

Optimal times to affirm your intention are at the beginning and end of your meditation practice. Your beginning intentional thoughts may take the form of a prayer of gratitude, self-awareness or the practice of loving-kindness. This helps to set the stage, the energy of your practice. Where your attention and intention goes, your energy flows. If you have too many racing thoughts, or negative thoughts, you’ll notice that your mind and body will experience tension and unease. As you elevate your mental state with a heart-felt intention, you’ll notice that your mind and body begin to relax and let go. You may even experience a blissful, inner flow of energy.

After taking time to breathe easy, notice the quality of your attention and allow yourself to be as present as possible. Continue to practice this quality of presence to the best of your degree in a relaxed, comfortable manner. At the end of your meditation, remember to affirm your intention again. When you are completely present and relaxed, it becomes more rooted in your subconscious and unconscious mind. By concentrating on your initial intention at the end of your meditation, it blossoms more fully within your consciousness. The key is to connect deeply to your intention, allowing yourself to feel it completely on all levels, including the physical, emotional, spiritual and mental level.

Some people believe that there should be no goal in meditation, that one should meditate without desire, reason or purpose. However, even in practicing meditation

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at all, there is a subtle intention, whether it is to transcend the mind or just to experience a few moments of peace and stillness. The key however, is that even though you have an intention, you are not attached to the results of your practice.

There’s a fine balance between working toward our intentions and surrendering our expectations. Meditation requires a degree of detachment and neutrality. When we meditate, we’re not clinging to anything in particular, such as a particular idea or specific goal. If, for any reason, we don’t produce a specific experience, we are not disappointed. We are present with our practice without expectation, yet we can remain intent and clear. It’s through the discipline of a consistent practice that we discover the inner freedom to create consciously with clear intention.

Intention-based meditation is analogous to tilling the soil of a garden. When you plant a new garden, you prepare the earth by removing the weeds and debris. This is similar to clearing the distracting and discursive thoughts in our mind. You could consider this the “passive” part of meditation: the practice of letting go, observing and paying attention.

After you’ve weeded the garden, and cultivated the fertility of the soil through inner-calm, you can plant a seed of intention. You now have the potential to use that soil to grow something beautiful and purposeful. Perhaps it is a fruit that will feed others, or even a seed that will yield many other seeds. This action of intention would be considered the “active” part of meditation. After taking the time to prepare your garden with the fertility of peace, your seed of intention has the potential to grow, flourish and be of meaningful use.

Intention-based meditation can also be used to facilitate higher perspective for others. Einstein said, “We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” In coaching, and other healing practices such as therapy, intention-

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based meditation can benefit others in achieving insight, healing and expanded awareness.

The practice of quiet and meditation for both yourself and others is a powerful way to cultivate enhanced intuition, guidance and inner-vision.

It is possible to apply intention-based meditation to attain a wide range of experiences, including but not limited to:

♦ Self-knowledge and inner guidance

♦ Greater focus and higher awareness

♦ Stress relief and relaxation

♦ Inner peace, compassion and forgiveness

♦ Higher performance and productivity

♦ Healing, health and well-being

♦ Improved relationships and social connection

The audio provided with the e-book includes a sample intention-based meditation. It helps you clear your mind and provide a calm, still place within to apply the purpose of your meditation. If, for example, you want to be centered and calm throughout your day, you can apply your intention at the beginning and end of your meditation. Once you have fully relaxed and entered a peaceful mental state, you’re most receptive to accessing your intuition and developing your true intention.

Intention-based meditation is one of the primary practices taught at Sura Center. In addition to the aforementioned meditation techniques, we integrate contemporary practices that include coaching and healing. Our approach introduces a softer meditation style that includes relaxation, compassion and gentleness. We share

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practices that are accessible, that anyone can easily apply in our lifestyle today, regardless of faith or belief.

There are numerous ways to apply intention-based meditation. Through this approach, it is possible to make your meditation practice applicable to any situation in your everyday life. By consistently practicing a centered state of mind, you naturally become more calm, intuitive and present. If you’d like to learn more about intention-based meditation and our courses, you can visit our site at www.suracenter.com.

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TIPS AND HELPFUL HINTS

“Within you is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat any time.”

– Herman Hesse

1. Sitting posture – You can sit in a chair with your feet planted firmly on the floor or on the floor with your legs crossed. If you’re in a cross-legged position on the floor, it’s helpful to prop up your sitz bones (the bones in your pelvis that bear most of the weight when you sit down) with a cushion or pillow so your hips are tilted forward and slightly higher than your knees. This creates a small tripod effect and allows you to straighten your spine more easily. You can try arranging the cushions to different heights for comfort.

In any sitting position, it’s important to sit with your spine tall and free. When your spine is straight, it’s easier to be attentive. As you start to curl

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or slump, your energy diminishes, and you may start to feel sleepy, which may also cause you to slump further. If you practice meditation in a chair, you will find sitting slightly forward in the seat—instead of resting against the back of the chair—will help you to achieve optimal alignment in the spine.

A third option, which I advise only for those who are physically unable to sit with a tall spine, is to lie on your back in a recovery pose. That is, lie flat on your back with your knees bent. Place your feet flat on the floor near your buttocks about hip-width apart. Allow the knees to fall together, propping each other up. In this posture, your body creates a hammock effect for itself, allowing all of your muscles to rest and relax. If you need to practice meditation while lying down, make sure you’re well-rested so you don’t fall asleep.

2. Alertness – Many people get sleepy when they first meditate. That’s natural, since people don’t tend to get enough rest and are often tired. Your body may confuse a moment of stillness and peace with a chance to take a nap. You may become so relaxed that you feel as though you are about to go to sleep, but the key is to remain conscious and present. That is why we sit to meditate instead of lying down, since it’s very easy to fall asleep when you lie down. Again, keeping a straight spine helps you to maintain alertness. Another strategy is to meditate first thing in the morning, when you feel fresh and alert, before you’re consumed by too many thoughts and activities.

3. Working with discomfort – When you begin meditating, you may become even more aware of any pain or tension in your body. This is why it’s important to let yourself be comfortable and relaxed while you’re meditating. Your body will pull your attention to this ache or that discomfort. While you meditate, you can become more aware of the discomfort in

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your body. Do your best to sit still, but never feel you have to hold yourself too tightly or rigidly in a specific position. As discussed earlier, meditation is not a form of self-torture.

If possible, try light stretches or yoga prior to meditation will help to move the energy in your body and loosen your muscles. With practice, you will develop the ability to sit stiller for longer periods of time.

4. Timing and Consistency – The key to success is to pick one basic meditation practice (or craft a personalized combination of practices). Stick to a committed meditation, and practice consistently. It is common to get bored or sick of your practice. You may experience lulls in which you think it’s not working or want to change your practice. But see if you can stay with the practice that resonates with you the most. Your personal commitment and self-discipline will carry you far in your personal practice.

Consistency is key. If you keep changing the location, time, frequency, or method, it will become incrementally more difficult to cultivate a strong practice. Just as with brushing your teeth, you want to reach a place where you don’t have to think about having to meditate; you just do it. It becomes a positive habit in your life.

Practicing a few minutes every day is more effective than practicing once a week for an hour. You want to make meditation a healthy habit, an automatic practice—ideally, the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning. Again, your mind tends to be quieter and less chaotic first thing in the morning, before it is filled with the contents of the day, so the morning is an ideal time to practice. The key is to commit to a time of day that works best for you. Don’t focus on judging yourself if you miss your practice once in a while, but do make a mindful effort to commit to the same time for a set amount of time every day.

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5. Focusing Your Eyes – There are two different ways to meditate: with your eyes closed, or with them open. If you meditate with your eyes closed, focus your inner eye gaze between the eyebrows. If you choose to meditate with your eyes open, then keep your eye gaze soft and gently turned inward. One of the benefits of meditating with your eyes slightly open is that it keeps you grounded in the present moment. It prevents you from wandering actively into some other time or space in your imagination. In both cases, the key is to keep your gaze steady as it helps you to experience stillness.

6. Space – Find a quiet place where you can meditate each day without disturbance. If you live in a household with a lot of people, be creative. You can make a closet or even a bathroom into a meditation space. Do your best to make it a clean, clear, peaceful space. You can light a candle to start your meditation or create an inspirational altar with pictures that invoke a sense of love and positivity within you.

7. Intention – Some important questions to consider before you begin meditating are: What is your intention for meditation? What do you hope to accomplish through your practice? Is it to be a better parent who is present for your children? Do you want to become more self-aware and focused?

These questions are important because your intention will anchor and ground you in your practice. When you meditate without intention or personal meaning, it’s easy to get lost in your practice and flounder. Whenever you’re sitting with your own thoughts, immersed in your own “stuff,” it can get very hard and messy. Many people keep themselves busy precisely to avoid this sort of introspection. But when you are choosing to meditate for a greater purpose, it can inspire you and give you the energy you need to keep going

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and stay committed. If you want, you can choose to place inspirational words or pictures near your meditation space to remind you of your intention.

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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE MEDITATING

“People need to know that they have all the tools within themselves. Self-awareness, which means awareness of their body, awareness of their mental space, awareness of their relationships – not only with each other, but with the life and the ecosystem.”

– Deepak Chopra

Meditating is like holding a magnifying glass over the contents of your mind. It expands your awareness of the chaotic nature of your mind, which can feel distracting and, at times, downright disturbing. You may feel as though

nothing is happening or that you want to run away from your meditation by “doing something else.” But don’t get caught in this trap. The ego (the part of your mind

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that is invested in “looking good,” proving, performing, and doing) will do anything to get out of meditation. On some level, the ego knows it is in danger of being transformed through the practice of meditation, so it will inevitably resist and reason away your desire to meditate by any means possible. During your meditation, many urges will arise, from wanting to check your email to becoming suddenly hungry or feeling sleepy. Your ego may even get desperate enough to tell you that it wants to do responsible things like pay bills or clean the kitchen! The key is not to fight the ego—you will never achieve inner peace if you engage in such an endless war—but simply to notice when it shows up with its endless excuses. When this happens, observe the reasons for wanting to avoid your meditation practice. See if you can notice with compassion and kindness—let the ego have its say. Afterward, you can make a conscious choice whether you want to continue to meditate. Be aware through it all.

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THE DEEPER CONNECTION

“It is never too late to turn on the light. Your ability to break an unhealthy habit or turn off an old tape doesn’t depend on how long it has been running; a shift in perspective doesn’t depend on how long you’ve held on to the old view. When you flip the switch, it doesn’t matter whether it’s been dark for ten minutes, ten years or ten decades. The light still illuminates the room and banishes the murkiness, letting you see the things you couldn’t see before. It’s never too late to take a moment to look.”

– Sharon Salzberg

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In addition to instigating the ego, meditation can bring up a lot of old emotions, feelings, and negative thoughts. The key to dealing with them is to stay neutral, to avoid getting caught up in these thoughts by observing them with a sense of non-

attachment. If your emotions bubble up, let them. Old traumas or experiences may naturally surface because you have created the time to really feel your feelings and be present with them. Let yourself have the experience fully. Meditation is naturally healing. Let feelings arise, then let them go.

Through the practice of being present with our true feelings, we process and release them. In meditation, it’s natural to cry, or even shake and experience significant energy shifts. Let it happen, but don’t get thrown off by these spontaneous acts of emotional and physical release. That is simply what happens when you are letting go of old energy.

You may have special experiences and visions. Acknowledge these experiences, but don’t get caught up in them or let them distract you from your meditation practice. Be aware of developing any kind of “spiritual ego” that believes you’re special or different for having unique experiences. Just know that through the practice of meditation, more experiences become available to you as you expand your consciousness. Let it all happen and keep sitting.

At times, meditation can feel like a rollercoaster ride. It can feel like two steps forward then ten steps back. You can experience high highs and low lows, moving between joy, sadness and many other emotions along the spectrum. Don’t let these ups and downs deter you or discourage you from the practice. If you’ve ever seen or walked a labyrinth, you know that a winding, turning path eventually brings you to the center of the circle. The labyrinth symbolizes the journey that meditation can

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take you on, one filled with twists and turns that eventually lead you back to your spiritual center.

You may notice times when you are moving closer to your center, yet feel farther away. Keep in mind that even experienced meditators can feel discouraged. Getting through the messy areas, the places where you feel really stuck, is all part of a meditative life. Keep going; you’re doing it. All that chaos comes with the territory. Remember that consistency is what matters most. Showing up for your practice every, single day is what will help you achieve meaningful results. As my teacher used to tell me, “Protect the practice and the practice will protect you.”

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CLEARING THE HURDLES

“It’s helpful to remind yourself that meditation is about opening and relaxing with whatever arises, without picking and choosing.”

– Pema Chödrön

In meditation, many obstacles can arise, particularly desire and avoidance. Attachment and resistance are two sides of the same coin: they both entail suffering. You desire something; you want more of it; you’re never satisfied. Or

you don’t want something; you do everything you can to avoid it and you expend all your energy resisting it. In meditation, we simply look at the nature of these feelings as they arise without making them right or wrong, good or bad. We simply notice when we start judging what we’re feeling and thinking. We give ourselves permission to breathe through it all without self-condemnation or criticism. We watch ourselves watch our own thoughts, bearing witness to what is happening without “having” or

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“needing” to do something about it.

It is very possible that you could get really discontent in your meditation. It might seem you’re wasting time or just creating more inner aggravation. Perhaps you feel you aren’t making any progress. Shunryu Suzuki, author of Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, says, “After you have practiced a while, you will realize that it is not possible to make rapid, extraordinary progress. Even though you try very hard, the progress you make is always little by little.”

When doubtful thoughts arise, such as “Nothing is happening,” or “I’m not making progress,” keep going. Being bored by your meditation, wanting to see results from it, and expecting a certain magical experience are all part of the process. Let go of your expectations and just focus on your practice.

Even if you have a positive experience in meditation, let it go. Don’t expect to have it again or try to replicate it; you’ll likely be disappointed. Enjoy it for what it is and be open to having a new and different experience in the moment. Every time you sit down it is a new, unique moment. Be fresh in your meditation and stay open to what each sitting session has to offer.

Keep your attitude light. Beware of cultivating too much ambition or rigidity in your meditation practice. Find a balance between discipline and flow. Notice when you make your practice heavy, treating it as an obligation—something you feel you “have to do”—rather than a conscious choice. Meditation is here to enhance your life, not to imprison you. It is your practice, be free in it.

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GETTING THE MOST FROM YOUR PRACTICE

“A most useful approach to meditation practice is to consider it the most important activity of each day. Schedule it as you would an extremely important appointment, and unfailingly keep your ap-pointment with the Infinite.”

– Roy Eugene Davis

Meditation is intended to cultivate positive states of being, such as acceptance and surrender. It helps us connect to the reality of life with clear insight and perspective. When we enter deeper states of relaxation, we can let go

more fully. Meditation helps us to relinquish control and our need for certainty. We feel more comfortable letting things happen rather than having to direct them too tightly. Surrender isn’t about resignation. It doesn’t mean that you’re a doormat or

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that you allow bad things to happen. Higher states of being that include acceptance and compassion allow you to respond more skillfully to life’s challenges. The more you experience peace and inner security, the more empowered you are to create positive change in your life.

Your meditation experience will be uniquely your own. Trust what you feel. Trust in your own process. Trust that your meditation practice will teach you what you need to learn or unlearn. Validate your experiences and, if you feel called to, write them down. You can start a meditation journal to help you collect the insights that come up. Write down your observations, insights, and challenges—anything that feels relevant for you in your practice. If you have doubts, include those too. Journaling will help you process what you discover and understand how to apply it to your life. Meditation is a tool to help you know yourself, to be more aware, and to live more fully in the moment.

In the beginning, let this be a practice for you rather than an experience you tell others about. Often when we learn something new such as meditation, our tendency is to want to share it with others, and perhaps even suggest they do it. It is natural to want to share when we feel excited or joyful, but as you cultivate your practice, use wisdom and care. Notice when you feel the need to tell or convince others to practice meditation. Take time to nurture your own practice. Create a positive environment for yourself that supports you in developing your personal practice. Focus on yourself first.

Meditating in a group is very supportive, and while you’re learning, you may want to consider joining a meditation group. When you meditate with a group, you may find that it’s possible to cultivate even higher levels of presence and consciousness than you may experience on your own. This is one of the benefits of group meditation. Combined group intention and focus can bring about a stronger experience in your meditation. It can create a deep anchor in your own practice, helping to solidify and strengthen your individual practice. If you enjoy meditating with others, find a group

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that resonates with your heart and brings you a true sense of peace and connection. Listen to yourself as a guide and practice discernment before working with a teacher, group or organization.

When you meditate, remember self-compassion. Many thoughts will arise in your meditation, good thoughts, negative thoughts, painful memories, plans for the future. I believe one of the best ways you can sustain a healthy meditation practice is to practice self-compassion. We all came into this world as children. When you practice meditation, envision yourself as a small child. Give yourself support and encouragement, and don’t get caught in the trap of negative self-talk. If there are times you find yourself beating yourself up because you’re not “focused enough,” or “mindful enough,” respond playfully by asking yourself, “Isn’t that interesting?” and inviting a smile to your face. Practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. Treat yourself as your own best friend. Being kind to yourself is part of the practice.

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STARTING YOUR OWN PRACTICE

“Meditation connects you with your soul, and this connection gives you access to your intuition, your heartfelt desires, your integrity, and the inspiration to create a life you love.”

– Sarah McLean

If you want to start your own meditation practice using the three basic meditation techniques outlined in the book, here is a step-by-step guide to how you can get started:

1. Find an appropriate time to meditate each day that works well in your schedule. First thing in the morning is a great time to practice, to start your day grounded and centered. I recommend using a timer on your phone or clock. It helps set the intention for your practice. In the beginning, start

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with an amount of time that you can realistically stick to consistently, such as ten minutes a day.

2. Find a comfortable seat where you won’t be disturbed. Adjust your sitting position so that you feel completely comfortable with your spine tall and at ease. Begin by relaxing your physical body and becoming as tension-free as possible. Relax your whole body including your shoulders, neck and back.

3. Start by focusing on your breath. Count your breaths backward ten to one. You will count your breaths in the following manner: by first inhaling, then exhaling (ten). Inhale, exhale (nine). Inhale, exhale (eight) – and so on. Even if you find this challenging, keep going. Complete three rounds. See if you can slow down the rate of your breath by elongating your exhale.

4. After three rounds of counting your breaths slowly from ten to one, allow yourself to sit in silence for five to seven minutes. During that time of silence, notice all that arises: the sensations in your body, the thoughts in your mind, your emotional landscape. Simply notice and allow things to arise and go. Watch your thoughts come and go like clouds in the sky. If you need help staying present, you can focus on your breath, or continue to count your breaths backward from ten to one. Be receptive to your true experience.

5. At the end of your meditation, set an intention for your day or visualize a beautiful image such as a clear, calm lake. Take time to be with your intention and notice how it comes to fruition throughout your day.

6. Take some time before you come out of your meditation and transition to the rest of your day. A few minutes of quiet and mindfulness will help you adjust before you begin your everyday activities.

7. If you find it too difficult to start with ten minutes, then begin your day with ten breaths. Start with ten breaths and when you’re able to do that

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consistently, start doing three rounds of ten breaths. Eventually work your way to ten minutes of meditation. You can always increase the length of your sitting time as you feel appropriate.

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IN CLOSING

“Loving-kindness towards ourselves doesn’t mean getting rid of anything. It means we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid, jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriend-ing who we are already.”

– Pema Chödrön

Studies show it takes at least 21 days to cultivate a healthy habit and develop new neural pathways in the brain. For this reason, it is essential that you dedicate yourself to practicing meditation at least five to ten minutes each day for a

month if you wish to make meditation a part of your everyday life. After one month of the basic guided meditation provided, you can keep going with your own practice, applying the same techniques and principles. If, at any time, you need help with your practice, you can always listen to the guided meditation.

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When you practice meditation consistently, it permeates the rest of your life. You will notice yourself becoming more aware while doing habitual tasks, such as driving your car, washing the dishes, or listening to a friend. It allows you to become more immersed in what you’re doing now so you can experience greater peace and presence throughout your life. You can bring meditation into anything you do throughout your day. Learning how to focus and center yourself is an invaluable, life-changing tool. Meditation empowers you to be more of who you are in the moment.

This program is simply a guide. Keep in mind some of the points I’ve shared with you in the program, but do not get hung up on doing things too precisely. Stay with your practice for at least one month. It won’t always be easy, but be gentle with yourself. Boredom, angst, and ups and downs are all part of the path. Oh, and of course, you might find you get really busy—too busy to meditate. Be aware of these excuses to avoid your practice. Don’t take them seriously or personally; just keep going. Even if there are days when you only pause long enough to take a few deep breaths and your mind wanders the entire time, you’ve still done something. You’ve made the effort to sit still. Do what you can, without being too hard on yourself. The key to meditation is to practice and simply be open.

Remember that meditation is a gift—a way for you to go deeper into yourself, to self-awaken. Be true to your practice and allow your path to unfold naturally.

Now let’s begin your practice. Relax and ENJOY yourself.

Ready to meditate?

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sura is a big proponent of following one’s joy as a natural guide for life. Sura’s joy led her from a career in finance, to meditation and yoga training around the world, to Georgetown University’s Executive Coaching Program. Her life’s

mission is to serve leaders and teachers in bringing mindfulness tools to business and mainstream healthcare. She is passionate about sharing the creative benefits of meditation and how to experience greater synchronicity through intention and prayer.

Integrating her experience in both the corporate world as well as the healing arts, Sura developed her own approach, and began working with leaders. She started her private practice in Los Angeles, while also teaching at well-known studios including Exhale Spa & the Equinox Executive Club. Later, Sura expanded her mission at the Community Cancer Center of Ann Arbor, helping to create healing practices for cancer patients and survivors. Sura currently works with Executives and their teams to integrate meditation and mindfulness as part of not only their leadership approach, but also their overall strategic business vision.

Wanting to share her approach with more people, in 2010, Sura created Online Certification programs to train other coaches in her integrative approach to leadership. Sura is the producer of the nationally distributed DVD series, Sura Flow, writes for the Huffington Post and other major publications.

You can learn more by visiting suracenter.com


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