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Bowling
What is it about bowling? I've never been really good at it. When I watch it, I always get this "it's
sort of cheesy" feeling. But when I actually play it, it's not cheesy anymore - it's hard! It's
challenging! It's FUN! I've never bowled on a league, only with friends and family. If I break 100,
I'm thrilled with myself. Best game I ever did was 160. Actually winning a game is a thrill! My wife,
son and I go out about twice a year for a night out of bowling. My wife has always been good at
bowling, 160 is child's play for her. And my son at 14 regularly kicks my butt. And even though I
rarely win with these two, we always manage to have a complete blast.
Eating whatever sounds good from the grill and drinking beers and soda, and of course watching
the other bowlers, we've found that we really do enjoy the sport. It's one of man kinds oldest
sports... seriously. British Anthropologist Sir Flinders Petrie became the first to discover evidence
of a bowling-like game. He found ancient objects in a child’s grave in Egypt that were allegedly
used for a primitive form of the game. The artifacts have been dated back to 3200 BC, effectively
making bowling over 5,000 years old! And 5,000 years later, here we are. Slick wooden, hand
crafted lanes. Automatic ball returns, automated pin resets, computerized scoring, restaurant and
bar. . . Some say bowling is even more popular than soccer on this planet. Cheesy as it might
look, bowling is a blast!
Car Restoration
There it sits in the back of the overgrown field. Being an aficionado of old cars, I recognize it
immediately. 1959 Ford Edsel. It's dead. Decades of sitting in the sun, rain, and snow, in one spot
has taken a major toll on its once classic goofy looks. Faded and rusted, rotten and decaying...
eventually it will be dissolved back to mother earth. I see it sitting there while on a hike with my
dog, she's off sniffing out rabbits. I've decided to sniff out the old Edsel. As I slowly stroll around
the pathetic old girl, I can't help but think "Restoration is such an expensive hobby". My hand
slowly begins to stroke it's rusty and faded surface..."Shame to see you here old girl.... ah, if I
were a rich man...." I softly whisper to her. I'm mentally making a list.... Doing a triage' of sorts...
We've all seen cars like this. Sitting, abandoned its last owner. Forever left alone to the elements.
The back of a field or tucked away, collecting dust in a barn. I always wonder how these
automobiles got to their final resting place. What had their lives been like? The classic "If These
Cars Could Talk". One thing is for certain: At one point in their lives, they were somebody’s pride
and joy. Do you remember how great you felt when you brought home your first "brand new" car?
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Hey, lots of people have never owned a brand new car before. But even bringing home a really
nice used car has the same effect. You keep the interior spotless and you wash the outside
religiously . . . for about 3 or 4 months, maybe longer. Eventually it's just settles into being just the
family car, messy and in need of a wash. And eventually you sell it or trade it in on another. Then
it becomes somebody else's really nice used car. And again and again and again until at some
point it breaks down and is just too expensive of a fix to worry about. It ends up moved out of
sight. . . . in the back of the old corn field, weeds and rabbits it's only visitors. You know the old
saying - "out of sight, out of mind".
But not ALWAYS. Sometimes somebody with a lot of money and a lot of time comes along and
finds it. They've always loved Fords (or whatever) and thought the Edsel was one of the coolest
cars of her time! They've always wanted one and now days have been told over and over "you
need to get a hobby!"
The property owner is found, a friend with a flat bed trailer is called, deals made, hands shook,
and a very happy person drives off with their rusted and faded soon to be "car of their dreams!"
Another restoration has begun.
Idiot Parents
Posted on TickingMeOff.com today...
Each and every week, on my drive home, two or three days a week, there’s a section of a
neighborhood where I drive by a little toddler in nothing but a diaper, riding a razor like scooter up
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and down the sidewalk and or the street. Several times I simply come to a stop and let him pass
me while I search for some sort of parental supervision on one of the porches. Have never once
seen an adult out there watching…. several other young kids, but never an adult.
I just can’t fathom telling my 3 year old still in diapers “Go out front and play.” AND IN THE
STREET NO LESS ! ! !
Those sort of parents have no business raising a kid. Those sort of parents should be publicly
beaten like a rented mule!
Child Abducted – Child Drowns in Family Pool – Child Wonders Off – Child Struck in Busy Street
– Child Dies in Hot Car – and on and on and on. And when it happens, we’re supposed to be all
sad and “what a tragedy!” and “oh the poor parents!”. . . yeah r i t e.
Reminds me of the time when I was on an outback camping trip and while hiking to our camp
spot, our rented pack mule stopped dead on the railroad track refusing to budge. Along comes a
train and the mule still refused to move. BIG leather strap hanging off the saddle… I wasn’t
ABOUT to lose my gear, this mule, or take a chance of de-railing the train. Let’s just leave it atthis: Me and that leather strap convinced that mule to move.
Slacker Parents Need To Be Beaten Like Rented Mules.
What is Art?
Posted at drdansartclinic.com
What is art? A three word question with an almost infinite word answer. In my mind, the first thing
I think of is the old masters, and yeah - the Mona Lisa (love the header design!). But that's not the
right answer. Defining art? You could make a career of it! Look around you... pretty much
everything your eyes fall upon has been on an artist’s drawing board at one time or another. The
coffee mug: wasn't just thrown together and hope for the best - no, some designer most likely had
a vision of what they wanted the final product to look like and sketched it. Then maybe sculpted
one from clay and a mold was made of it. That beautiful picture frame: Some designer sketched
out a rough idea, refined it, and eventually sent it out for production. Graphic Artist, Designers,
Cartoonists, Architects, Dancers, Singers, Song Writers, Poets, Writers of movies and TV shows,
Sculptors, every type of performer you've ever seen - They are all Artist. They take an idea and
manifest it into a tangible product you can see, touch, hear and feel that will illicit some sort of
emotion from all who come in contact with it. . . and this part will blow your mind: Everything in
this world has for an ancestor, an idea. And an "idea" begins as an electrical spark in the human
mind...(Where does that spark come from?)
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SHUT YOUR FREAKING PIE HOLES!
Are you blind, stupid, or just naturally a rude ass hole?! I'm talking to those of you who think it's
perfectly fine to talk and carry on a conversation while a movie is playing. Not in a theater, no. I'm
talking about one playing at home on the DVD.
Wife and I are sitting there, enjoying a long awaited movie - enter one of many people: son,
sister, neighbor.... "Hey guys! blah blah blah freakin' blah..." This does NOT bother my wife. "for
cryin' out loud honey, hit pause", she'll say.
I DON'T WANT to hit pause. These people NEVER have anything important to say, it's always
some B.S. blather that could have easily waited until we were done with our movie or program...
but nooooo, pause is hit, and I have to sit there and listen to Charlie Browns mother "Waa wa
wah wah waa wa...."
My in-laws: They are the WORST. They will carry on a conversation throughout the entire
program / movie. I AM SERIOUS... entire thing! And then they'll have the audacity to tell you a
movie they rented was "Sooo good!" This is my very favorite story on them and this subject:
Happened several years ago when Mr. Hollands Opus first hit the shelves. We were over to their
house for dinner and after mom says "Ohhhh, hey - do you guys wanna watch a really good
movie? We haven't returned it yet and we'd love to watch it again... Have you heard of Mr. Opus
goes to Holland?..." I rest my case. Hysterical.
Me (on several occasions) to my friends and family, "WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT YOUR
FREAKING PIE HOLES?!?! If you need to speak wait until a break in the program and say 'pause
please' and we will pause and listen to what you have to say." But NO. They ignore me time and
time again. I want to yank their tongues from their mouths!
Ninety Nine Cents
For tickingmeoff.com
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99 cents. Really?! NOT a dollar, but 99 cents. 95, 98, and 99 cents. WHY MUST RETAILERS DO
THIS?!? The common answer is "Well, they can claim it's -less than 4 dollars, it's $3.99! And it
also registers in our minds that way too, it's less than 4 dollars" I say "BULL SHIT!!!" We
humans, as a group or as individuals, haven't figured this out over the last few decades? Come
on, ROUND IT UP ALREADY! Forget all this nonsense about the cents already!
Just how stupid do retailers think we consumers are? There's even a NINETY NINE CENT
STORE. For cryin' out loud, are you serious?!?! IT'S A FREAKIN' DOLLAR STORE, OK?!?!
YEAH, in my head I thought "WOW, everything in THAT store is LESS than a DOLLAR!!!" What I
really thought was "Everything in that store is a dollar PLUS 7 cents tax on each dollar I
spend..." (Yes, I can do math in my head!) Come on now, think outside the box marketing people
- come up with another way to trick us into buying your product... the 99 cent thing is a dead
horse, and has been for decades.
Crossword Puzzles
I've always considered crossword puzzles to be bubble gum for the brain. They are published in
pretty much every newspaper, every single day of the week. The New York World newspaper
published the very first crossword puzzle way back in 1912 or 13 I think. Waiting for a bus or a
plane? Go buy a paper and do the crossword - great fun. I believe the humble crossword puzzle
gave birth to word jumbles, word searches and those oh so hard cryptic crossword puzzles. Then
of course there's the ever popular board game Scrabble which is based on the crossword puzzle.
It’s a great way to keep your vocabulary skills nice and sharp. I love crossword puzzles! In the
same section of the paper (at least in mine) the puzzles with 'Increase Your Vocabulary'. I find it
very...very...very...good.
Life After Death
"Do you believe in life after death?" If you answered yes, then what we're experiencing right nowisn't it. What we're experiencing right now is a temporary earthly and flesh existences where we
gain knowledge and wisdom we will use in the next realm of existence. This I learned from my
surrogate mother, Aunt Peggy.
She was terminally ill with emphysema. My wife and I moved her out of the nursing home she
was in and into our house. “When she dies, it won't be in that place - it'll be with people she
knows and loves.”, this was our thinking. My employer allowed me as much time off as I needed.
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For the next 3 weeks I basically never left her side. We converted our living room into her room.
We watched TV, I read to her, and we talked about all sorts of topics. One in particular was "What
is Heaven Going to be Like?" And many times she told me "If it's allowed, I will come back and
give you a sign of some sort that I am here".
2 months after she had passed on...
It was late at night and my wife kissed me good night. I was staying up late since it was a Friday
and there was some good stuff coming up on TV. The only light on in the house was there in the
living room, a side lamp and the TV's glow. My wife had been in bed a little over an hour. In the
short hallway between the living room and the dining room was the door to our laundry room. The
laundry room door had a very distinctive sound when it was opened. It was air tight and had a
wooshing sound when you opened it. The light switch to this room was around the corner in the
dining room, not in the laundry room at all. The laundry room also had an exit door to the outside.It was a very sticky and hard door to open and if you weren't familiar with its goofy combination,
you wouldn't be able to open it. So there is the set up to this ghost story.
It's after midnight and I'm sitting watch TV. I hear the swoosh of the laundry door opening. I turn
and look, I see the light come on. I pay no attention, figuring my wife couldn't sleep she'd gotten
up and was going to do some laundry. After 30 seconds or so I hear no washing machine start, I
hear nothing. I get up to investigate what the heck my wife is up to. Laundry room is empty. I
check the exit door, still locked. I walk back to the bedroom to check, there's my wife sound
asleep on our water bed. She is surrounded by our three cats, all are fast asleep and the water bed is completely motionless. An alarm goes off in my head - we have an intruder! I grab my
pistol from next to the bed and call out to my wife "Debbie, get up! We have an intruder in the
house!"
She leaps out of bed all wide eyed and she too grabs her pistol. The two of us sweep every inch
of our single story house. She and I had been out to dinner that night. I'm thinking, when we got
home we surprised a burglar and he hid in one of our spare rooms waiting for a chance to sneak
out. But no. All doors and windows were secure. House was clean. Then, standing in the living
room, we noticed it. The laundry room light was ON, but the switch was in the OFF position. My
wife walks over and flips the switch on, the light stayed on. Then she switched it to the OFF
position and the light went off. . . wow. We both felt the goose bumps come up on our skin...
"Do you think this was Aunt Peggy sending the sign she talked about?" my wife asked.
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"That's the only thing I can think of...." I answered. We stood there completely silent, pondering
the possibilities. I felt a very cool breeze begin at my feet and begin to swirl up and around me. I
shut my eyes and tried to focus my thoughts on Aunt Peggy. It lasted no more that 15 seconds
and I opened my eyes to see the same thing begin with my wife. She opened her eyes and we
both fell into each other’s arms and began to cry. Not sad tears, but happy ones . . . message
received.
For the Love of Boating
For as long as I can remember, I've been a boat guy. Oddly enough, my 5 years in the U.S. Navy
- I was never stationed on a boat - go figure. But still. . . I just love being on the water. Wooden
Boats?!? I've never owned one of those. I've wanted to, but they just require so much TLC for
maintenance. I'm a lazy boat owner. I'd much rather enjoy my boat (a 28' pontoon) and when
done simply hose it off. Don't get me wrong here, I LOVE wooden boats. They’re just not
something I'd wanna own.
Anybody who's ever owned a boat has heard the funny old saying "The happiest day of your life
is when you buy your boat...the second happiest day of your life is when you sell it." It’s funny, but
not true. In the last 25 years I've never been without a boat. I can't imagine not being a boat
owner. The saddest thing I think I ever cast my eyes upon is a boat that's been sitting for years,
never used and rotting away.
Doing My Part for a Greener Planet
Here's one of the things I'm doing to save water. At night, when nature calls, I pee in my back
yard. On any given night, I do this 8 - 10 times. My wife HATES it. She claims it to be completely
vulgar. It's OK for my two dogs to pee in the backyard, but if I do it, it's vulgar?! It's not like I'm
doing it where people might walk or see or anything. It's a section off the side of our patio where
nobody goes - well, except for me.
Two gallons of water to flush a half a cup of pee?! That's crazy! I have a nice, grassy beautifulbackyard. Nobody can see what I'm doing; it's all nice and discrete. Doesn't kill any grass. . .
what's the big deal?! Let's do the math: I pee 10 times a night in my back yard. Had I done it in
my toilet, I'd have used 20 gallons of water to dispose of 5 cups of pee. In a years’ time I've saved
7,300 gallons of water!!! That's more water then what's in my swimming pool!
THAT is a lot of water! (and I saved it!).
You ladies can join in on this water saving idea, check out this product: www.go-girl.com
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Religion and earthworms
Religion . . . it’s a very touchy topic. I'm going to maybe anger a few people with this article, not
my intention, but it's just human nature that things I'm going to say will piss off some of you.
Personally, I'm a fundamentalist Christian. And the most common question I get with that
statement is "What's a fundamentalist Christian?" That's a person who reads the bible and
makes up their own mind on what's what. And the bible is not a novel to be read in a weekend.
It's an adventure to be explored in a life time. It's the 'owner’s manual' to your soul. I am a
member of no church. I was ordained a Reverend by the World Christianship Ministries. I have no
"Flock" that I preach to. I perform marriages, baptisms, and funerals. These are all done with
knowledge I've acquired from reading the bible.
Do I believe everything I read in the bible? Absolutely not. Not literally. Most of what is written in
the bible is done in simile format - telling a story that is similar to what really happened but in a
way anybody can understand or grasp a moral lesson from it. Keep in mind religion is a man
made thing, and man is imperfect. Therefore, any religion you may want to follow is imperfect.
And here in the modern world in which we live, these imperfections have reared their ugly heads
in so many horrible ways. The most famous in recent years would be 9-11-2001. Done in the
name of religion, 3,000 people were butchered. (oh yeah, sure. That's what God wants - mass
murder of your fellow man).
And look at the sports figures who during an interview give thanks to God for giving them their
victory. (oh yeah, you betcha! - God LOVES basketball... LOVES the Bulls. Divine intervention so
you can have the trophy . . . y e a h.)
There's a religious Christian sect that believes to prove ones trust in God, you must dance with
poisonous snakes!
And on and on and on the list of fools go. Some yahoo gets it in their head that God wants this or
God wants that and they convince others that if YOU don't believe it then you're destined for the
Lake of Fire. It's been going on since the dawn of man, it will continue until the end. Its human
nature I believe. Human, singular, as in one person: Highly intelligent entities. But get them in a
group they have a tendency to be raving idiots.
I'll leave you with one last thought. The biggest problem with most people is they have a wallet
sized photo view of who and what God is, when in reality the entire universe cannot contain who
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and what He is. Comparing our intellect with His is like comparing an earthworm’s intellect with a
humans.
Ranchers Wife
(rancherswife.com) I HAD TO write an article for this site. The character writing this story is based
on my aunt Betty, a classic Ranchers Wife…
First posting
I'll be damned; I guess my nephew's right. The internet does have something for everybody! For
the last several months my nephew's been getting me up to speed on computers and the internet.
I've been a Ranchers Wife for almost 40 years. My husband and I own a ranch (our second) here
in southern Arizona.
My life as a Ranchers Wife has been the love of my life. I was born and raised a city slicker. My
family was very well to do and I grew up with a stable of horses I could ride any time I wanted. I
rode pretty much every day. (and still try to) As a kid, I always would pretend I was way out west
rounding up cattle. Western cowboy and Indian movies were always my favorite and anything
with John Wayne in it was sure to be watched by me. I always had fantasy's of meeting and
falling in love with a John Wayne type of man. To make a long story short - I met Nathan in the
spring of 1971 and we were married that Christmas. He already owned a ranch in New Mexico
and that's where my education in ranching began. Of course all that border security bull shit is
plastered everywhere on the internet and TV, I won't comment on it, only to say 'common sense
is common sense'. I will comment on something you all might not be aware of: Rustling of cattle
still goes on. At any given time, we have a good 5,000 head roaming our ranch. Today's rustler
only takes them one or two at a time. Usually butchers them on the spot with an electric chain
saw. We usually find one to two a week. Once we found 14 in one spot, what a mess!
Post Second
I said I wasn't going to comment on the border issue and the whole 1070 bill. I think it's time for
me to change my mind on that. Most of the crap that goes on down here on our border ranches in
regards to this, goes completely UN-reported on the news. I haven't a clue as to why, only that it
doesn't. Here's what happened to me last week. (I haven't left the main house area since. Our
ranch is about a half a mile from the Mexican border.)
"Obtener ella!!! Obtener el caballo!!!" Those are the words I heard being yelled. It's Mexican for
"Get her! Get the Horse!" Where the sound was coming from I don't know. I was on horseback in
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a dry sandy wash, looking for one of our puppies I saw come this way. Molly was the horse I was
riding and she's a champion barrel racer. When I heard the shout to "get her" I spun Molly in a
tight circle there in the sandy river bottom. That's when I saw them, 2 Mexican men running down
the side of the embankment at me. I spun Molly in the opposite direction and gave her the "Full
speed ahead" nudge. She shot up the other side of the bank like a rocket only to be met at the
top by a third Mexican. He grabbed Molly by the reins as we topped the embankment. Molly was
at full torque and the Mexican was thrown about ten feet. Molly lost her footing and stumbled to a
stop almost throwing me. We got our balance back just when the thrown man was about to grab
her again. I grabbed my lasso, swung it high and came down as hard as I could and hit the son-
of-a-bitch in the side of the head and face. The other two were coming up the embankment as
their amigo let out a scream. Once again, the Full Speed Ahead nudge and we were outa there in
a cloud of dust!
Molly and I were back on our own property in 30 seconds and coming to a stop at the main housein another 30 seconds.
All who work for us (there are 9 of us all together) work with side arms within reach. I had a 9mm
automatic on my hip but didn't have time to use it. My husband Nathan and 2 of our hired hands
were on horses and back out looking for the 3 ambushers within minutes. I went inside and called
the border patrol. They were there in 10 min. They found nobody after a 2 hour search. Sunset
came, they left. Me, Nathan and the boys went to town for dinner. Hey, all in a day’s work right?
Let me toss out some hypothetical questions. What were these 3 Mexicans willing to do had they
gotten me off my horse? What would have happened had I shot and killed all three? Would thenews outlets have run the story of the ranchers wife who was raped and murdered? You KNOW
they would have run the story of the ranchers wife who shot and killed three poor, innocent,
undocumented workers simply looking for a drink of water.
This is simply unacceptable! It's 2010 for cryin' out loud. I have to work my ranch armed?!?! Keep
dragging your feet on this HUGE problem Mr. President. You've got HUNDREDS of ranchers and
ranch workers ready to go Old School Wild West down here. Keep ignoring it and poor, innocent,
undocumented workers are gonna turn up missing.
Making Money with a Yard Sale
How to make a serious ball of cash. Yard Sale. But don't call it a yard sale, call it an "Estate
Sale", it sounds better. It rings of "Somebody died and we don't want this stuff anymore."
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(Serious! More people will stop.) When going through your house, here are some of the criteria to
use: "The Year of Non Use". If you haven't worn it in over a year, sell it. Non worn shoes - sell
em'! Items from your garage you've not used in over a year - sell. Kitchen gadgets and utensils
you've not used in over a year - SELL. SERIOUSLY. People get so attached to the stupidest
things. Some gizmo that's been in the very back of the bottom cabinet for five years gathering
dust, and it gets pulled out for a yard sale. Some husband or wife will come along and get all
misty eyed over the thought of selling it. GET OVER IT. Sell it!
The last yard sale my wife and I had: We'd been saying we were going to do it for about three or
four years. We finally did it. We'd been in the current house for 12 years, bought it brand new. Of
course we brought a bunch of our old junk from our old house. Old junk, new junk, we sold it all!
"One mans junk is another mans treasure". as the old saying goes. We spent one weekend
gathering items we wanted to sell and placing them in the garage. (Our cars for the next five days
were parked in the drive way, we needed the space!). And then the next five days we casually
added to our cache of junk. The very next weekend we had our "Estate Sale". Saturday andSunday. When the dust had settled, we had cleared almost $600!!!
For the Love of Motorcycles
I love motorcycles! I sold my last one about eight years ago. Why? Little voice in my head told me
to. In a two week period, I was struck by four birds and had two incredibly close calls with cars.
So I sold it and bought a convertible. Still love em' though! I'm very partial to the low slung
cruisers. A motorcycle that really caught my attention recently was Batman's motorcycle from
"Dark Knight". For all those Batman geeks out there let me clarify that - It's a "Bat-Pod", not a
motorcycle. As cool as it looks, in real life there's no way in hell it could maneuver they way it did
in the movie. Those fat fat fat tires just won't let it do those things, so says physics. I'm pretty sure
that Batman's motorcycle - oops, sorry - Bat-Pod was modeled from a concept bike that Chrysler
put out a few years ago called the Dodge Tomahawk. What a bad-ass bike! Saw one in person at
the Barrett-Jackson car show a few years ago...WOW! The Tomahawk can do what the Bat-Pod
can not do - maneuver effectively. Unfortunately, the Tomahawk had too many issues for
Chrysler to begin full blown production, so it was scraped after only seven being built. The price
tag on those seven was $500,000 each! Some of the stats on this monster: Viper V-10
powerhouse. 0-60 in 2.6 seconds. Estimated top end of 400mph! Yeah, very cool bikes!
Golf Oil Spill
My sister posed the following question to a family group via email....
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What is likely to happen with all that oil once the hurricanes hit??? Anyone heard? Scary
shit!!
My Reply
No, I haven't heard yet. What I know about the science of hurricanes is that the surface of the
Gulf will now be raised in temp. by a few degree's. This in turn will make for a more powerful
storm. The storm will pass over the spill, sucking up quite a lot of the surface sludge. Said surface
sludge will be atomized by the hurricanes internal forces. Once atomized, it will be dispersed over
a quarter of the U.S. . . . .this is what I predict.
People will be coming outdoors the day after a really cloudy day and night "because of the
hurricane down in the Gulf" - all their stuff is going to be coated in a thin layer of cruide oil.
Slipping and sliding all over the place. People will be thinking "OH, I can drive on this!", crashes
all over the place... And eventually this surface oil will get ignited. . . I don't even wanna thinkabout that.... Boy Scout mode is my advice.
Techno History
Technically speaking, where have we come from and where are we headed? Personally, I find
that question a fascinating evenings discussion. Certainly Hollywood's tackled it as well as
countless authors... here's my take on it:
I'm in my early fifty's. When I was a kid, music was all about the 45's and LP's. Then came the 8
track player and the incredibly popular and versatile cassette player. For those of you younger
readers, a "45" was a "record". It was about 7 inches wide and had one song on one side and a
second song on the "flip side". An LP was a record as well, but it was a "Long Play", 12" wide
with maybe 6 songs on each side. This LP was the original "Album" release.
Everybody knows what a Jukebox is, right. Today's model is usually packed with a couple
hundred or so CD's on them. But back in the day when they were all the craze and you could get
3 plays for a quarter - there were maybe 200 of those 45's I was talking about earlier, each with a
flip side. Total of 400 songs on a Jukebox. . .
That was all 30+ years ago.
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Today - 5 thousand songs can be stored and listened to on a devise the size of a playing card
and 1/8th of an inch thick! They weigh a couple of ounces, and with the right head phones or
speakers plugged in produce amazing sound quality!
This devise. . . this AMAZING devise - you can take a photo with it, shoot a video with it, find the
answer to any posed question, and place a call to your friend on the other side of the planet! You
can watch television programs and even rent movies to watch on these wonderful little marvels.
AND. . . you can store pretty much every song you've ever heard on the thing! The iPhone. There
are lots of knock offs of the iPhone too.
We as a society (it seems to me) are already taking these amazing multi-media devises for
granted. Just another random devise we use to maintain our lifestyle. We shouldn't though. We
are truly bless to have these little gems in our lives.... those and flat screen HD TV's. I own a 54"
monster - LOVE IT. I remember being a toddler, Saturday morning sitting in front of our black andwhite 16" tube TV eating cereal and watching cartoons. And I remember dad bringing home the
newest technology. . . a COLOR T.V. !!!
Comparing my youth "techno world" with my adult "techno world" - it's like living on another
planet!
Movie Review: Kangaroo Jack
My eight year old was staying home from school with a high fever, and I being the one with the
more flexible schedule stayed home with him. When his DayQwill kicked in he began with the
begging. Begging for a Pay Per View. Kangaroo Jack - it was a MUST SEE from his classmates,
and his pleading and begging did the trick. We rented it. I remember seeing the previews on TV
and didn't think much of it. I thought it was a Roger Rabbit sort of movie, but soon found out it
was nothing of the sort!
Kangaroo Jack - starring: Jerry O'Connell, Anthony Anderson (I love this guy, he's a riot!), Estella
Warren, and Christopher Walken.
Charlie & Louis (O'Connell & Anderson) are lifelong friends. Charlies step dad is a big time
mobster and "lent" his step son the money to open his own hair salon. Step dad Sal (Walken)
pockets all the profits from this salon, leaving Charlie with just a few buck in his pockets. Louis,
he's a player. Always on the cruise for a new scam of some sort that will put him on "easy street".
His scams never work and Louis always seems to get his best friend Charlie involved somehow.
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Louis's current scam ends up with he and Charlie accidentally pulling mob boss (& step father)
Sal smack into the middle of things. And this brings the police knocking on Salvatore Maggio's
(aka Sal) door. Sal does not like this, not at all. In fact it is the absolute last straw with these two
losers. He sends the two friends to Australia on an errand. This trip to Australia is where the
majority of the movie takes place.
My son was right, I LOVED this movie. Hysterical! Scale of 1 - 10, I'd give it a 9
Hunting
Hunting. It goes back to the very dawn of man. Even before fire. But fire eventually came on the
scene and things progressively got much better! By whatever means, and there are countless of
ways to hunt, man has always hunted. We hunt for meat. Meat to cook over flames. Cooking
methods, like hunting methods, seem to be endless.
Do you remember your first time hunting?
I remember mine. It was the day after Christmas, 1967, I was 10. For Christmas, my father got
me a 20 gauge Sears single shot shotgun. Dad had left the instruction on shooting, hunting and
gun safety to one of my older brothers George. He was 17 and the "great white hunter" of our
family. He spent most of the day on Christmas teaching me about my new gun. Around sunset,
we went out to our back yard for my first time shooting a real gun. George and I in nothing but our
long johns, hats and snow boots. The snow was only about 6 inches deep, but the cold was
biting. About a dozen shots I took at items George tossed out for me. Missed most, hit a few.
After 5 minutes or so, we could take no more of the cold and went back inside. We spent the rest
of our night planning the next days hunt. Pheasant.
It was a long, cold gloomy day. We'd been walking farmers’ fields for hours it seemed. We were
preparing to cross a wire fence, George was about to set his shotgun down when a beautiful
pheasant took off almost straight up into the air, about 20 yards from us. George calls out
"Pheasant!" and lifted his gun. I spun and raised mine. George’s hands were so cold he couldn't
pull his hammer back. . . BOOM! It was his 10 year old little brother who dropped that bird.
George and I never really hung out back then. I was a goofy little brother seven years his junior. I
was in 4th or 5th grade, he was a senior. I'd never been hunting, he'd been hundreds of times.
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Dad had told him he had to break me in on hunting and he did as he was told. He was my older
brother and I dearly wanted his acceptance and approval. The two of us were hootin' and hollarin'
as we approached the bird. He hugged and shook me in a manly sort of way saying "NICE
shootin' Harry, NICE shootin!" That's when he told me his fingers were too cold to cock his
shotgun. Rubbing my head, knocking my hat off he said "I'm proud of ya baby brother, you'll
make me look good with dad! Let's take this thing home and I'll show you how to clean it" and off
we went. We had it for dinner that night. What a great memory. . .
.
Wooden Boats
The only way this old boat is getting restored is within a computer! Maybe you've heard of it. It's
one of the most important archeological finds of the century! The Dover Bronze Age Boat. It sits
on display in the Dover Museum in Dover, England. It was discovered in 1992, buried.
Since it's discovery, they've preserved the 3,500 year old relic and put it on display for all to
enjoy. The level of skill and craftsmanship in the construction of this boat is mind boggling! It was
constructed with at least 6 oak timbers, tied together with yew wood. All of the joints are
reinforced with a thin lath of oak with moss pushed into all joints. The two main planks were
secured with wedges pounded through a central rail and a line of cleats. This old boat is big too!
Although the whole boat was not completely recovered, they estimate that more than HALF was
recovered. By what remains of it, the estimate size of it was about 65' long by a little over 8'
wide! . . This boat was in operation when Stonehenge was under construction!
Photo courtesy of Dover Museum. Photograph by Andrew Savage
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Fitness
TrimGymFit.com
Do you member Jack Lalanne? You know he's STILL alive (and kicking too!) He's 96 years old!
Yeah, Ninety Six! I'm 52 years old. I can remember watching The Jack LaLanne Show as atoddler. I'd do all the exercises along with him with mom watching on and laughing. She told me
as an adult that she had a big crush on Jack LaLanne "Back in those days".
Wow, Jack Lalanne. 96. How'd he get his start?
In 1954 at age 40, he swam the length of the San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge underwater
with 140 pounds of equipment, including two air tanks... an undisputed world record still to this
day! "The Godfather of Fitness".
Remember the other guy from the back of the comic books? Yeah, Charles Atlas. (I think he was
even before Jack Lalanne’s time!)
That ad in the back of the comic books: This ad campaign featuring Atlas's name and likeness
and a short comic. And it has been described as one of the longest-lasting and most memorable
ad campaigns of all time. It's still being run too! Here's how it originally ran...
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"Mac," is accosted on the beach by a sand-kicking bully while his date watches. Humiliated, the
young man goes home and, after kicking a chair and gambling a ten-cent stamp, subscribes to
Atlas's "Dynamic-Tension" program. Later, the now muscular protagonist goes back to the
beach and beats up the bully, becoming the "hero of the beach." His girl returns while other
females marvel at how big his muscles are. (An earlier but otherwise almost identical version,
"How Joe's Body Brought Him Fame Instead of Shame," debuted in the 1940s). . . In the late 60's
or early 70's I too remember ordering Charles's program.
"Dynamic-Tension", I think that's what the Trim Gym is based on. . . right?
Charles Atlas died in 1972 at the age of 80. Heart attack (after his morning jog). Heart disease
ran in his family. Those are a couple of things I think about when I'm doing my Trim Gym routines.
. . .
History and Future of “Cars”
Where do you think the future of the automobile is headed? I see more and more alternate fuels
being used, and electric is getting popular. For ease of math I'll go back to 1910, 100 years ago,
and I see most people still using horse drawn carriage's to get around town. But also I see this
new vehicle here and there, drawing small crowds where ever you might see one parked. They
had sever names for them back then - "Auto Mobeel" and a "Horseless Carriage". Others called
them Monstrosities, Calamities, and the like. There was even talk about outlawing the things! But
they did indeed "catch on", and with Henry Ford invention of the assembly line and the Model
T. . . A whole new industry was created.
These new toys ran on "gas-o-leen", a bi product of crude oil. The more cars that were sold, the
more gasoline needed to be produced. A whole new World Economic Powerhouse was created.
Petroleum. One hundred years ago.
One hundred years from now. 2110. Your grandchildren (if they're still alive) are now senior
citizens. What are they driving around in? What powers it? Have we reverted back to the horse
and carriage? Is there "speeder" like vehicles like in Star Wars? (Those were cool!) Are there
floating / hovering Segway-like personal chariots? Who knows? Oughta be cool whichever way it
goes!
Why’s It Called “Golf”?
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Is that "Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden" stuff true? You know, the acronym for GOLF. I've
heard it over and over again over the years. Here's what I found out with a bit of research:
Complete hog-wash. The word Golf is an ancient word coming from the Dutch word "kolf", a
generic word for stick, club or mallet. Games similar to golf have been around since the days of
the roman empire! The version we all know and love today dates back to about 1550 the famous
St. Andrews course was constructed. 1550. Over 450 years ago, people were playing golf! The
very same game we play today! Here are some of the other things going on in the world 450 or so
years ago:
1541: Explorer Juan Ponce de Leon of Spain, landed on the coast of Florida.
1550: Chocolate introduced to the world.
1564 William Shakespeare is born in Stratford-upon-Avon, England; Galileo is born in Pisa, Italy.
1565: The Spanish settled in St. Augustine, Florida - the first permanent European colony inAmerica....
...and somewhere in Europe, a group of guys got together to knock back a few and played a
round of golf! 18 holes with pretty much the same rules we use today!
Cave Man Golf
Cave Man Golf. It's a game I invented years ago while on a camping trip in the tall pines of
Northern Arizona. Everybody had to construct their own club out of a nicely shaped tree limb. The
woods are full of fallen branches and it's just a matter of taking a walk, looking for one. Once the
stick is found, it's taken back to where the fire pit is. Everybody sits around the pit and whittles
their club into a crude golf club. And you're only allowed one club.
And you're gonna need some balls. They're lying all over the place: Pine cones.
First up - practice on the driving range. Maybe a bit more whittling and carving.
Next, lay out your course. Instead of sinking it in a hole, you must hit a certain tree. "100 yards
from that tree down there with the orange ribbon on it - par 4". We'll lay out 9 of them and go
round twice. Hole 18 is always into somebody’s open tent door.
You may think it sounds goofy, but you just won't believe how much fun it is. Especially if you're a
person who loves to play golf. Great fun for the kids to get in on too!
The Doughnut Harvest
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I'm taking all the credit. It was MY idea, MY practical joke. It was 1977, I was home on leave from
the Navy and was staying with my sister and her two daughters Heather and Danna. Heather was
5 and Danna 3.
First morning there, Danna and I were having breakfast together. Cereal. Danna was telling me
how much she loved her Fruit Loops cereal and asked if I loved them as much as she did. "I do
love them honey, they're wonderful! Ya know all they are is doughnut seeds."
"Doughnut seeds?! Really?!?!" she exclaimed with astonishment.
"Yep, simple as that. Doughnut seeds".
And sure enough after breakfast, Danna takes a handful of Fruit Loops outside. I pretended not to
be paying any attention to her as she hurried out to the back yard. I spied on her as she planted
her seeds. Later on in the day I took a trip to the Home Depot and picked up 3 small plants. 1 was
about 6 inches, the second about 12, and the third being a very small tree seedling.
That night as Danna slept, I planted the six inch. The next morning before breakfast, Danna
rushed outside and I heard "Uncle Harry, uncle Harry, come quick!"Out the back door I rushed and listened to her excited explanation of what she had done.
"Yesterday I planted some Fruit Loops, I mean doughnut seeds, and look. . .!" she said pointing
at the little plant I had planted the night before.
"WOW! Very cool! Maybe we'll have some fresh doughnuts for breakfast before I have to go back
to San Diego, huh?!"
I let 2 nights pass before I replaced the six incher with the twelve inch. And then, the night before
I had to leave, I planted the little sapling and headed for the Dunkin Doughnuts for something to
"harvest".
It was still dark out when I finished loading our little doughnut tree, so I went back to bed. I waswoken very gently by my little niece. She was beaming from ear to ear and holding a platter of
doughnuts. "Look-it Uncle Harry.... the doughnut tree bloomed!"
I've been telling this story for 23 years. Danna's all grown with a teenage daughter. My sister took
the doughnut seed idea and did some arts and crafts stuff with it and eventually posted it on the
internet when the internet was just a baby. Today, if you google "Doughnut Seeds" you'll find
quite a lot of hits. . . I'm taking all the credit. It was MY idea, MY practical joke.
Clunker Cars
We've all seen them. Heck, maybe some of us owned one. . . maybe some of you own one today!
I'm talking about "Clunkers", Junkers, Beaters, P.O.S.'s, Rattle Trap cars. You know the ones:
Looks like it's pushin' 200 thousand miles, 2 shades of primer in ten different places, dents
galore, no hub caps, 4 different color rusty rims, coat hanger antenna, a little or a lot of smoke
rolling up around the sagging ass end. . . yeah, that one.
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Every time I see one, what comes to mind first is "At some point in time, that car was brand new
and the pride and joy of some lucky person or family." Somebody worked hard, had a bit of
money in the bank, good credit, and they finally bought their very first brand - new - car . Drove it
home, wife and kids oooh-ing and aaaah-ing, going out to dinner in it for the first time. . .
Each and every car out there starts out in this brand spanking new state. And eventually, humans
being the way they are, they start to deteriorate from neglect, lack of funds for proper repairs, for
whatever reason. Some of us are obsessively meticulous at maintaining the original beauty of our
new car. . . Some of us are just the opposite. Some of us are the "Hitlers" of car maintenance.
"Use em', abuse em' and loose em'!" Depending on the manufacturer, some cars hold up well to
the abuse, some do not. The ones that don't - scrap yard. The ones that do hold up - well, you
see em' every day. Under the control of their 10th owner as they chug down the road. . . "I think I
can, I think I can, I think I can. . . ."
Golf Cheaters
Lots of golfers just don't realize they're doing it. And when you point out they've missed a few
strokes on their score card, they get all pissy and tell you that you don't know what you're talking
about. Other people (you know who you are) do know they cheat, and I point out that the only
person you're cheating is yourself! I know a guy who cheats SO bad that the one time he got a
hole in one - he marked himself down for a zero!
Here are a few things golfers ignore when marking down their score:
Sand Trap. On your set up of the chip shot out of the trap, if your club touches the sand in ANY
way, it's a stroke. The only time your club can touch the sand is on your swing to chip the ball out.
Drop you club as you walk through the sand to your ball? It's a stroke. Barley touch the sand with
your club head as you take aim - IT'S A STROKE!
Touching your ball. Once you tee off, you're not allowed to physically touch or move your ball until
you're on the green ready to putt. The only way your ball can move (even in the most minuet
amount) is being hit by your club. Case in point: You're sitting in the middle of the fairway, a small
leaf is sitting right in front of you ball, it's even touching your ball. You bend down and move the
leaf, you ball moves 1/32nd of an inch . . . that's a stroke. OR: Your ball is sitting under a tumble
weed. You pick up the tumble weed to move it and your ball moves - stoke. OR: Your ball rests
against the cart path curb. You move it a clubs length away as not to injure you club or the path -
YOU MUST MARK IT DOWN AS A STROKE!
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Made Up Rules: My golfing buddies and I have made up these rules to make the game even
MORE fun. Mulligan’s - They cost $5.00 each. You may purchase only 5 per 18 holes played. All
moneys go into a pool and are claimed by the person in your group with the lowest score that
day.
Bad Tee Shot: If on teeing off your ball goes no further than the woman's tee off line, you must
take your second tee shot with your pants around your ankles. And while we're on this subject,
proper scoring on this shot goes like this: (Mulligan’s withstanding) That first shot you hacked: A
stroke. Bringing it back to have another go at it: A stoke (even though you simply walked over,
picked it up, walked back and set it on the tee again....it's a stroke!). And now you’re sitting Three.
This is your THIRD shot.
If you're going to play the game, learn the rules. (And DON’T tell a person who’s been playing thegame for 30+ years they don’t know what they’re talking about) Plain and simple - Honor,
integrity, character, that's what scoring golf is all about. It's your "word".
Arizona Watermelon
Watermelons. . . EXCEPTIONAL Watermelons: Extremely rare here in Arizona.
They use to be pretty common back in the late 70's and early 80's. The only thing
you can find now in the grocery produce section are the so called "seedless"
ones. They're a little bigger than a cantaloupe, and they usually are on the bland
side. Pretty and red-ish pink when you slice them in half. Take a bite out of the
middle and your heart just sinks... they're bland! They're genetically altered so
the seeds are white and edible. (They’re not really seedless).
I judge a watermelon on a scale of 1 to 10. I can't remember the last time I ate a
10. The highest I've had in the last 4 years is a 7. I grew up in Indiana, the land of
the perfect watermelon. 10's were common. (corn too, but that's another story).My teenage son went back to Indiana for the summer to visit family. He'd never
tasted a perfect 10 watermelon before. Second day there he called home to chat.
I asked him what he had for dinner and he laid out all the stuff his aunt and uncle
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had made. He then told me of the amazing watermelon he'd just finished. "I know
what you're talking about now dad, it was amazing!"
After hanging up, I pondered what he had said. I grabbed the car keys and asked
the wife if there was anything she needed from the grocery. "What are you goingdown there for?" she asked.
"Watermelon. Gotta have one!" I said.
"Pick a good one! Good luck!"
I picked a 6. Grade level here in Arizona: C. Grade level back in Indiana: A+
Whatever happened to the good old fashioned, big, oblong watermelon with
black seeds you'd spit at each other? You can't find one here in Arizona! Looks
like I'm going to have to get some seeds and grow my own.
Interior Decorating.
It sounds so . . . so . . . so expensive! Well, yes I guess it is. But really, are you
planning on re-decorating a bathroom, or are you re-DOING a kitchen? Every
aspect of a dwellings live-ability depends on Interior Decorating. Let's get rid of
the stereotypical, limp wrist girlie-man right here at the start of this, ok. It's stupid,
and it's also not in the least bit true. You have a living space that needs a make-
over. Why? The reasons seem endless: You're absolutely sick of the orange
shag carpet and 60's era wood panels. If you look at it ONE MORE DAY, your
head will explode! Maybe you just bought the house and it was perfect, with the
exception of the bathroom. Or maybe a monster storm blew through town and
tore the roof off your kitchen and completely wiped it out.
Whatever the case, you've now got some planning to do. Let's take that tore up
kitchen. Your wife always said "I'd much prefer to have had the stove in this area
and the fridge in this area..." but the cost and time and disruption in your life
always put that idea to rest real quick. Well, that's all not a problem now. It's gotta
be done and now's the perfect time to do it. New dining table is needed along
with lighting, wall color, tasteful who-ha's for the walls, carpet and / or tile, and
most importantly - placement of these things.
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Some of the better contractors out there offer computerized / digital modeling. In
my humble opinion, it's the only way to go. When we did our kitchen it cost us an
extra $1300. Worth every penny! We changed things around maybe two dozen
times before we signed off on it. The end result was exactly how we envisioned
it. A very smooth and timely project. In fact if we had to do it again, we'd insist
that the contractor offered digital modeling.
SlugBugBlog.com
Welcome to Slug Bug, the Blog site that will help you get where you're going with a smile
on your face, and quite possibly a bruise on your arm (or thigh). Everybody out there
thinks they know all the cool road trip games there are.... you don't. The REALLY cool
ones are found HERE at SlugBugBlog.com.
Of course most of these Road Trip Games can be modified for sitting still, needing to
pass some time. Alone or with some friends or family, playing our games is great fun!
SLUG BUG: It's a classic. The Volkswagen Beetle, aka a "Bug". When you see one,
you announce "SLUG BUG, BLUE!" First one to shout it out gets to slug a person of their
choice amongst the other passengers. RULES, Rules, rules. . . follow the rules and
NEVER cheat. (at any of our games!)
You can play it the cool way, or you can play it the "Sissy La-La" way. The Cool Way:
The car is full of people ready to go on a road trip, everybody agrees to play Slug Bug
FOR LIFE. You’re basically starting a Slug Bug Club with your family or friends. From
that moment on, until you die, Slug Bug is ON! Anywhere. You don't have to even be in a
car. Walking in a parking lot, Slug Bug is ON. Sitting in a restaurant, Slug Bug is ON.
Watching TV at home, Slug Bug is ON. (Yeah, it's on TV in some commercial). Same
with at the theater watching a movie, you see a 'Bug', call it and punch you wife, kid,
friend.... whomever is in you Club. You can recruit new member ANY time, just agree to
play it until the day you die. Slug Bug is ON.
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1. When there is a tie in announcing "SLUG BUG, BLUE" (or whatever color it is) both
parties must then immediately begin repeating the phrase over and over until one of
them messes up. That person receives the 'slug'.
2. Mis-Identification - You call it out, but it's really a PT Cruiser or something. . . . You
get it (the 'slug') back double.
3. Dealerships don't count , somebody could get hurt.
Saturdays - DOUBLE Slug Bug Day. (always, forever)
Sundays - Rhyming Slug Bug Day. Yep, you have to rhyme the "slug bug" somehow...
anyway... rhyme it. "Slug Bug GREEN, you're so mean." or "Orange Slug Bug, gimme
a hug" or go nuts and make up a Haiku! "giant shining bug, following us all day and
night, its our pretty sun!" However you do it, you must rhyme it! (Always, forever)
Mondays - Triple Red Slug Bug Day. Pretty self explanatory. See a RED bug and you
get to slug somebody 3 times. Or 3 people once. Or 1 person once and another person
twice. . . however it works, you've got 3 punches to dish out. (always, forever)
FORGETTING - If it's Saturday and you Slug Bug somebody and forget that it's "Double
Slug Bug Day", not only do you get the Slug back, you get the two back you should have
issued in the first place for a total of 3 Slugs.
Variations: Bitch Slap Bug . Same game only instead of a slug to the bicep or thigh, it's
an open hand slap to the back of the head. Cruiser Bruiser . Same game, only you're
tossing PT Cruisers into the mix. Cruiser Bruiser is NOT "On" all the time until you die.
It's really meant as an add-on to the original Slug Bug when there's not that many VW
Bugs around. You must announce that you are enacting it. Anybody pops you with a
"Bruiser Cruiser Green!" when the game hasn't been officially started, that person gets
throat chopped. (A less severe punishment like punching them back 4 times can be
substituted for the throat chop)
Tongue Twister Tournament: Another classic. Everybody knows a good
Tongue Twister, right? Well, if you don't we've got plenty to help you play.
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FIRST - Elect a person to keep score. Write down each name of all the players. Under
each, use the classic "hash mark system" to keep score. One mess up, one hash mark.
When the game is declared "Over" your points are erased, one at a time, with each
punishment you do. For instance: You have 3 people in the car. At your next meal stop,
you have 5 points to erase. Your other 2 co-passengers get to choose stuff for you to eat
that you hate. You hate tomatos? 1 bite, 1 point erased. You hate Tequila? 1 shot, 1
point erased. You despise cauliflower with cheese sauce? 1 bite, 1 point erased. You get
the idea, right? Feel free to make up your own punishment point erasers. Of course, this
Punishment Point Eraser system may be use with any of our games.
You have THREE tries to correctly say the phrase. The first two try's are practice, but if
you nail it on the second try - you're good. The THIRD try, that's the point time. Miss it on
the 3rd try, get a point. If everybody agrees, you can do "double or nothing" (do over
where if you mess up again, you have two points but if you get it you have zero)
Tongue Twisters
Slug Bug Blog, Slug Bug Blog, Slug Bug Blog. (3 times fast)
Sally sells sea shells down by the sea shore.
Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
Purple Turtle, Purple Turtle, Purple Turtle. (3 times fast)
I'm a smart fella, I'm a fella smart. It takes a smart fella to make a fella smart.
Peter Piper picked a pale of pickled peppers.
I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop. Where she sits she shines, and where she
shines she sits.
Sheena leads, Sheila needs (3 times fast)
Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?
Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.
Clean clams crammed in clean cans. (3 times fast)
Luke's duck likes lakes. (3 times fast)
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Lucky Lou's liver leans left. (3 times fast)
Seventy seven benevolent elephants.
One-one was a race horse. Two-two was one too. One-one won one race. Two-two
won one too.
Willy's real rear wheel (3 times fast)
How many cookies could a good cook cook if a good cook could cook cookies?
Black back bat.
I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
A real rare whale.
Reed Wade Road (3 times fast)
The cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out.
License Plate Phrases: You take turns, starting with the driver and working your way
clockwise. The next vehicle you pass, or the next vehicle that passes you, you must take
the letters on the plate and turn them into a phrase or name of some kind. For example -JTU 181. So, JTU. . . "John's Too Ugly". You have five seconds (10 seconds for younger
players who don't have the vocabulary skills of an adult) to utter the phrase or you
receive a punishment point.
Counting American Flags: Your all loaded and ready to pull out of the driveway. Before
you do, a score keeper writes down everybody's names. Everybody buys in to the game
for a set amount. (We usually do 1 dollar per person or sometimes 5) Everybody tells thescore keeper their guess on what the grand total of flags will be by the time you reach
your destination and the game is called finished. Everybody is on the lookout for
American flags in any shape of size or format. As a bumper sticker, a decal, on the side
of a semi, any type at all. This game is also great with 2 or more car full in a caravan or a
bus load of people. Two car loads - when they get to their destination the tally of all
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vehicles is added, then divided by however many cars participated. Car A had 288 and
car B had 313. 287 + 313 = 600. Divided by 2 is 300 flags. Closest to 300 wins. And that
"without going over" crap don't fly here at SlugBugBlog.com.... CLOSEST NUMBER TO
300 WINS. There's a tie? Come up with a fun tie breaker, or simply split the pot. On a
bus with 20 people? Everybody keeps their own score and turns it in for tally at the end
of the trip. Total, divided by 20 is how many flags were spotted.
The A-B-C's Game - This is one of my families very favorite. Not only do we play it on
the road, we play it late at night around a camp fire or on the lake fishing for catfish.
Everybody agrees on a category: Famous People, Singers, Songs, Groups, Movie Stars,
TV Stars, use your imagination. Let's say it's the easy one, Famous People. Play once
again starts with the driver and moves around the car clock-wise. Every person playing
must think of a famous person, alive or dead, who's name (first OR last) starts with an A.
"Albert Einstein", the next person might say "Allen Jackson", the next might say "Allen
Allda" and since BOTH names starts with an A, they get Kudos’ and admiration heaped
upon them by the other passengers, that and everybody gives them a quarter. (Or coin
of some sort). Can't think of a name? You give everybody a quarter. It gets tough with
the X's and Z's
Somebody in the car is a know-it-all sports geek who knows the name of every sports
player that ever played a sport? (My son) NO. The rest of you playing the game can ban
their sports knowledge and limit it ONLY to the famous ones. Johnny Unitus, Babe Ruth,
Magic Johnson ect. Anybody at any time can call "Bull Shit" and if it is unanimous that
the persons name was just made up - CHEATER. As the car pulls to a stop to put said
cheater out for their 1 mile walk, all must chant "Cheater Cheater Monkey Eater!" Drive 1
mile down the road and wait for the Cheater to catch up. For the rest of the trip, their
name is "Cheater" and they must be referred to as this at ALL times.
The Phrase Circle: Driver starts with a two word phrase. Example: "Coffee cup". Next
person takes the last word (cup) and makes a new phrase. "Cup your hands". The
phrase can never grow higher than 4 words. Next person takes the last word (hands)
and begins a new phrase. "Hands shake". . . shake rattle and roll. . . roll of coins. . .
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coins spent. . . spent cash.... cash for coffee....Coffee Cup. Game over. We never keep
score on this game, it's just fun to play.
Punishment / Punishment Points: Most of the time you going to need a way to dole
out winnings (usually cash) or punishment to the losers (or big punishment for those
caught cheating - NO CHEATING ! ! ! It's always an honor system when playing Road
Trip Games. Cheaters in MY CAR walk a mile. Yeah, I pull over, "GET OUT CHEATER!
See you in a mile." Then we ease a mile down the road, hit the flashers, and wait. When
the cheater gets back in the car, they are refereed to as "Cheater" for the rest of the trip.
Slug in the arm or thigh - 1 point removed
Slap in the face - 2 points removed
Throat Chop - 3 points removed
Nut Punch - 3 points removed.
Eating or drinking a gross product - 1 point removed
Walking a mile - 3 points removed
Running a mile - 6 points removed
Bitch Slap - 1 point removed
Trivia: Another road trip classic. One of our favorites. When you're with kids, this game
is also brain builder. How? Use as your questions things they have learned (or should
have learned) in school. "Who was the first president of the United States?" or "I have 3quarters, a nickel, 2 dimes and 3 pennies - how much money do I have?" or "What's the
capitol of Texas?". . . you get the idea. We also love the category of Family Trivia.
"What's dad's middle name?" "What's mom's birthday?" "What city did grandma and
grandpa first meet in?". You know, stuff that's specific to your family. Simple. Keep
score, don't keep score. FUN GAME!
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I'm Thinking Of : This is a variation of the old classic 20 Questions. The only difference
is there's no limit to question asking. Ask a hundred questions if that's what it takes until
somebody finally gets it. Questions, for the most part, need to be answered with a simple
Yes or No. If the contestants are having a hard time getting it, say after 20 or so
questions, hints can be given by the "Thinker". Whoever wins gets to be the next
Thinker.
Keeping your categories pretty specific seems to make the game move along faster. I'm
Thinking Of something that's yummy to eat. . .yummy to drink. . . a game. . . someplace
fun to go. . . an athlete. . . anything really.
Scavenger Hunt: Before you hit the road, make up a list of things to look for along the
way. Make several and have all passengers blindly choose one. That becomes their
game piece. Everybody is going to need something to write with, marker, highlighter,
pen, pencil, paint brush...whatever. You can craft your list specifically depending on
where you're going, or just use one of our ideas below. Get to where you're going, take a
tally of who's found the most stuff - that's your winner. WARNING: The temptation to
cheat is strong with this game, be on the look out for cheaters and set up the ground rule
first thing. "Cheating will have grave consequences!" I would also like to add that as a
punishment, getting hit with a stun gun is an awesome deterrent to cheating!
In the country:
Tractor
Grain elevator
Cows
Dirt road
Dog
Roadside diner
Lake
Train tracks
Sheep
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Farmhouse
Pigs
Bridge
In the City:
Convertible car
Bridge
Train
One-way sign
Smart car or mini
Mom and a kid
Dog walker
Bicycle Rider Policeman
Ambulance
Starbucks
Walgreens
In the Suburbs:
School
Fire truck
Wal-Mart
Billboard with an animal on it
Church
Grocery store
Ice cream shop
Park
Jogger
Flower store or nursery
Sports game in play
Ice cream truck
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Hey How Are Ya?!!!: Fits of laughter usually ensues during this game. Simple game.
Agree on who your next victim should be. "Next person walking a dog", or "Next kid with
their pants sagging down like an idiot" or, on a 'pedestrians are rare day' "The very next
pedestrian we see..."
Honk your horn and everybody excitedly smiles and waves. BIG smiles, BIG wild waves.
Everybody guesses whether or not the person waves back. Wave back, score a point.
No wave back, no point. Everybody guesses how many wave backs will happen before
the game starts. (We usually play best out of ten) Closest wins.
Variation:
Hey You're That Ass Hole!!!: Same game as above, but instead of smiling and waving,
you're flipping them off and tossing a mean and nasty look their way. Caution: NEVER
play this game with a person in another car. . . who can chase you down. . .and beat
your ass. <"HEY, you ARE that ass hole!">
Rattle Them Pots And Pans – update.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I’ve dropped 12 pounds and feel better than I have in years. Most
importantly I’m sleeping so much better. Hitting the gym every other night and once on
the weekends. A one hour workouts with 40 minutes of pumping iron and 20 minutes of
cardio (stationary bike riding) have my muscles toning up nicely and the weight seems tobe coming off in all the right places. My wife Debbie is right there with me and I believe
this is one of the secrets to our success so far – Having a partner for your exercise!
Eating right is also a huge factor. WE LOVE FOOD! Unfortunately, the food we love is
responsible for the way we ended up. Not completely, but for the most part yeah. So, I’m
on the cruise for “Food that doesn’t suck.”
It would be foolish and even dangerous for me to prescribe which diet is right for you
here at Rattle Them Pots And Pans. The purpose of this blog is to help you find andprepare awesome foods that fit into the diet your health professionals have already
prescribed . It is your job to choose the recipes compatible with your needs. It is my
deepest hope that these recipes will help you realize there is still pleasure to be found in
eating and that limitations do not need to mean liabilities or deficits. You are now a
member of that group of people who have the healthiest diets of anyone in the
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population. And, as you will see from these recipes, it can be a joyful experience eating
healthy.
THIS is what my wife and I are doing food-wise: “If a caveman could have eaten it, then
WE can eat it.” That’s the basic concept of our food intake. This concept is meant to
have us focus on NON-processed foods. You know; boxed dinners like hamburger
helper, canned soup, instant oatmeal, and basically any food that has ingredients that
you can’t pronounce. (What is all that crap doing in our food anyway?!) And WHY do
they feel they need to put sugar in damn near everything we eat?!?! So, basically here it
is in a nutshell: Fruits, vegetables, LEAN meats in 6 – 8 ounce servings, fish of all kinds,
and nuts.
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