How to Win Friends and Influence PeopleSri Kanajan

Outline

How to influence others

How to lead

Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

Appreciate and Recognize

See the other person’s point of view

Give honest and sincere appreciation

Remove the “I”

Don’t Sell

Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

People support a world they help create

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

How to lead

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Simple tricks

Use the person’s first name

Make others feel genuinely important.

Listen to others. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Smile

Talk to the other person’s interests

Start by discussing things that you and the other person agrees with

Focus on the end goal rather than winning the argument or having the last word

DON’T !

Talk incessantly about yourself.

If you have an idea while the other person is talking, don't wait for him or her to finish: bust right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence

Quotes from Dale Carnegie’s Book

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic.

"A great man shows his greatness," said Carlyle, "by the way he treats little men.“

Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. "To know all is to forgive all.“

If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent's good will.

Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don't build higher barriers of misunderstanding.

Accept the mistake. Disarm the person and bring him to your side rather than defending your position