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Love LanguageLove Language

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Reinforcement TheoryReinforcement Theory

• Words of AffirmationWords of Affirmation

• Quality TimeQuality Time

• Receiving GiftsReceiving Gifts

• Acts of ServiceActs of Service

• Physical TouchPhysical Touch

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Positive ReinforcementsPositive Reinforcements

• Positive = Positive = desirable consequences desirable consequences that that people report as people report as pleasant pleasant and enjoyable. and enjoyable.

• Food, water, sex, sleep, and the Food, water, sex, sleep, and the removal of pain.removal of pain.

• Do not have to be learned.Do not have to be learned.

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Negative ReinforcementsNegative Reinforcements

• Punishers stimulated after the Punishers stimulated after the response has been made. response has been made.

• When children touch things = When children touch things = spankingspanking

• Make your wife mad = no bootyMake your wife mad = no booty

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Love TankLove Tank

Emotion Love Tank Emotion Love Tank

Resolve conflicts

Feel secure

Understanding

Feel Loved

Misbehavior

Withdrawal

Harsh words

Feel unloved

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Physical Touch

Quality Time Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Words of

Affirmation

Love Love LanguageLanguage

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Receiving GiftsReceiving Gifts

• Presents and physical tokens of affection move Presents and physical tokens of affection move youyou..

Give others things to express your feelings about them.

Feel good when you receive a present

Rather get a reward than applause.

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Words of Affirmation

• You need to hear praise to know you are lovedYou need to hear praise to know you are loved

• Criticism really, really hurts. Criticism really, really hurts.

• Tell those whom you love that you love Tell those whom you love that you love them them

• You “Fish” for compliments.You “Fish” for compliments.

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Quality TimeQuality Time

• Either through intimate tête-à-tête Either through intimate tête-à-tête discussions or doing things together. discussions or doing things together.

• Get lonely and begin to feel uncared Get lonely and begin to feel uncared • Feel complete spending time with loved Feel complete spending time with loved

ones.ones.• Expect others whom care about you to Expect others whom care about you to

spend their time with you.spend their time with you.

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Acts of ServiceActs of Service

• Prefer to show your love through favors and Prefer to show your love through favors and chores chores

• Feel special, significant & useful when you Feel special, significant & useful when you help others. help others.

• Show affection by doing things for other Show affection by doing things for other people. people.

• Don’t usually ask for help, but feel Don’t usually ask for help, but feel cherished cherished

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Physical Touch

• Give and/or receive affection physically Give and/or receive affection physically

• Give & expect hugs, pats, kisses, and Give & expect hugs, pats, kisses, and other physical signs of affection. other physical signs of affection.

• Feel especially appreciated when another Feel especially appreciated when another touches you in a meaningful way touches you in a meaningful way

• Feel awful when people you love don’t Feel awful when people you love don’t touch you. touch you.

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Love Language QuizLove Language Quiz

• What does your mate do or fail to do What does your mate do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply?that hurts you most deeply?

• What would be an ideal spouse to you?What would be an ideal spouse to you?

• What have you most often requested of What have you most often requested of your spouse? your spouse?

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Reinforcement = Love Reinforcement = Love LanguageLanguage

• ReinforcementReinforcement -- Understanding Understanding Love LanguageLove Language

• Love Languages Love Languages - - provide positive provide positive or or negative enforcer. negative enforcer.

• Love Tank Love Tank -- Effects your Effects your

Love Love LanguageLanguage

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Work CitedWork Cited

BooksBooks

• Devito, Joseph A. “The Interpersonal Communication Book”. Devito, Joseph A. “The Interpersonal Communication Book”. Tenth Edition. 2004, 2001Pearson Education, Inc. Tenth Edition. 2004, 2001Pearson Education, Inc.

• Thatcher, Emmie Denise Little. “ The Interaction Between Love Thatcher, Emmie Denise Little. “ The Interaction Between Love Language and Marital Alignment on Marital Satisfaction for Language and Marital Alignment on Marital Satisfaction for selected Married Individuals” Dissertation. 2004 Southwestern selected Married Individuals” Dissertation. 2004 Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.Baptist Theological Seminary.

Articles Articles

• Eckstein, Daniel. Morrison, Jed. “Exploring Different Eckstein, Daniel. Morrison, Jed. “Exploring Different Expressions of Love” The Family Journal: Counseling and Expressions of Love” The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, Vol. 7 No. 1, January 1999 Therapy for Couples and Families, Vol. 7 No. 1, January 1999 Sage Publications, Inc. Sage Publications, Inc.

• Cherrinton, Bischoff, Dyer, Stephan and Steward. Cherrinton, Bischoff, Dyer, Stephan and Steward. “Organization Effectiveness” September 2001. Department of “Organization Effectiveness” September 2001. Department of Organization Leadership and Strategy, Brigham Young Organization Leadership and Strategy, Brigham Young University, Provo, UtahUniversity, Provo, Utah

J. SirmonJ. Sirmon 1515

Work CitedWork CitedBooksBooks

• Devito, Joseph A. “The Interpersonal Communication Book”. Devito, Joseph A. “The Interpersonal Communication Book”. Tenth Edition. 2004, 2001Pearson Education, Inc. Tenth Edition. 2004, 2001Pearson Education, Inc.

• Thatcher, Emmie Denise Little. “ The Interaction Between Love Thatcher, Emmie Denise Little. “ The Interaction Between Love Language and Marital Alignment on Marital Satisfaction for Language and Marital Alignment on Marital Satisfaction for selected Married Individuals” Dissertation. 2004 Southwestern selected Married Individuals” Dissertation. 2004 Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.Baptist Theological Seminary.

Articles Articles

• Eckstein, Daniel. Morrison, Jed. “Exploring Different Expressions Eckstein, Daniel. Morrison, Jed. “Exploring Different Expressions of Love” The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples of Love” The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, Vol. 7 No. 1, January 1999 Sage Publications, Inc. and Families, Vol. 7 No. 1, January 1999 Sage Publications, Inc.

• Cherrinton, Bischoff, Dyer, Stephan and Steward. “Organization Cherrinton, Bischoff, Dyer, Stephan and Steward. “Organization Effectiveness” September 2001. Department of Organization Effectiveness” September 2001. Department of Organization Leadership and Strategy, Brigham Young University, Provo, UtahLeadership and Strategy, Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah