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Founder & Key Concepts
Susan Johnson Leslie Greenberg
EFT is collaborative combining Experimental and Rogerian techniques with Structural systemic interventions.
EFT is based on clear, explicit conceptualizations of relationship distress and adult love.
These conceptualizations are supported by empirical research on the nature of marital distress and adult attachment.
Key moves and moments in the change process have been mapped into nine steps and three change events.
Goals of EFT
To expand and re-organize key emotional responses–the music of the attachment dance.
To create a shift in partners' interactional positions and develop new cycles of interaction.
To foster the creation of a secure bond between partners.
What is Attachment?
…the capacity to form and maintain healthy emotional relationships which generally begin to develop in early childhood
– Enduring bond with “special” person– Security & safety within context of this relationship– Includes soothing, comfort, & pleasure– Loss or threat of loss of special person results in distress
10 Central Tenets
1. Attachment is an innate motivating force
2. Secure dependency complements autonomy
3. Attachment offers a safe haven4. Attachment offers a secure base5. Accessibility and Responsiveness
builds bonds
10 Central Tenets
6. Fear and uncertainty activate attachment needs
7. The process of separation distress is predictable
8. Finite number of insecure forms of engagement can be identified.
9. Attachment involves working models of self and others
10. Isolation and loss are inherently traumatizing
View of distress in EFT
Relationship distress is maintained by absorbing negative affect.
Affect reflects and primes rigid, constricted patterns of interaction.
Patterns make safe emotional engagement difficult and create insecure bonding.
View of Distress
Rigid repetitive interactional patterns: No exits – no detours/ repair impossible Rigid narrow positions – fight/flight/freeze Most common patterns
Criticize, complain, express contempt Defend, distance, stonewall
Results: self reinforcing cycles or reactivity/self protective strategies (individual safety first)
Partners cannot attune to one another because they are so absorbed in their own negative affect
Cannot communicate because of their own state.
Gottman 1979 – absorbing states of negative affect: everything leads in, nothing leads out.
Research
70 – 73% recovery rate in 10-12 sessions.
Results stable – even under high stress.
Depression significantly reduced. Variety of populations and settings. Best predictor of success – female
faith in partner’s caring (Not initial distress level).
Principles & Concepts
Looks within at how partners construct their emotional experience of relatedness
Looks between at how partners engage each other.
Focus of EFT: The 4 P’s
Experiential Present Primary Affect
Systemic Process (time) Positions / Patterns
The counselor is a process consultant
4 P’s
Present experience Deal with the past when it comes into
the present to validate client’s responses as it relates to how they coped/survived
When emotion is re-experienced it is now in the present
Focus is on current positions/patterns Don’t ask “why”, focus on what is.
4 P’s
Primary emotions Validating and moving from secondary
to primary emotions Stay with emotions, create safe haven Organize the emotion of a past
experience so that client can engage in the here & now
Common Underlying Emotions of the Withdrawers and Pursuers Rejected Inadequate Afraid of failure Overwhelmed Numb – frozen Afraid – scared Not wanted or
desired Judged, criticized
Hurt Alone Not wanted Invisible Isolated/
disconnected Not important Abandoned Desperate
Emotion frequently leads to secondary emotional responses – for example:
Anger often leads to: Asserting, defending
Sadness often leads to: Seeking support, withdrawing
Surprise/Excitement often leads to: Attending, exploring
Disgust/Shame often leads to: Hiding, expelling, avoiding
Fear often leads to: Fleeing, freezing, giving up
Joy often leads to: Connecting, engaging
A. Primary Emotions are the deeper, more vulnerable emotions such as sadness, hurt, fear, shame, and loneliness.
B. Secondary Emotions are the more reactive emotions such as anger, jealousy, resentment, and frustration. They occur as a reaction to the primary emotions.
C. Primary emotions generally draw partners closer. Secondary emotions tend to push partners away.
4 P’s
Process patterns Look individually how each person is
processing in the moment “What happens…then what…then what”
Positions The position each partner is taking in the
relationship Work to create new position & new
patterns
Stage 1: De-escalation
Identify negative cycle / attachment issues
Access underlying attachment emotions
Frame problem – cycle, attachment needs/fears
Stage 1: De-escalation
Step 1: Identify the relational conflict issues between partners. Creating an alliance & delineating conflicts in core struggle.
Step 2: Identify negative interaction cycle Step 3: Access unacknowledged
emotions underlying positions in cycle Step 4: Reframe problem in terms of the
cycle, underlying emotions, and attachment needs.
Stage 2: Restructuring the Bond Access implicit needs, fears, models
of self Promote acceptance of others –
expand the dance Structure emotional engagement –
express attachment needs
Stage 2: Restructuring the Bond Step 5: Promote partner’s
identification with disowned attachment needs and aspects of self – integrate into relationship interactions
Step 6: Promote acceptance by each partner of the other’s experience
Step 7: Facilitate expression of needs/wants to restructure interaction – create bonding events
Stage 3: Consolidation
New positions / cycles – enactments New stories – of problems and repair New solutions to pragmatic issues
Stage 3: Consolidation
Step 8: Facilitate emergence of new solutions to old problems
Step 9: Consolidate new positions and cycles of attachment behaviors
Skills for Emotional EngagementR-I-S-S-S-CR: The therapist intentionally REPEATS
key words and phrases for emphasis.I: Therapist uses IMAGES or word
pictures that evoke emotions more than abstract labels tend to do.
S: Therapist frames responses to clients in SIMPLE and concise phrases.
R-I-S-S-S-CS: Therapist will SLOW the process of
the session and the pace of her speech to enable deepening of emotional experience
S: Therapist will use SOFT and soothing tone of voice to encourage a client to deepen experience.
C: Therapist uses CLIENT words and phrases in a supportive/validating way.
Overview of Process
1. Develop an alliance, identify cycle, identify and access underlying emotions, and work to deescalate
2. Engage the withdrawer
3. Soften the pursuer/blamer
4. Create new emotional bonding events and new cycles of interaction
5. Consolidate new cycles of trust, connection and safety, and apply them to old problems that may still be relevant