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Marriage… Communication and Sex
7/30/2019 Marriage Seminar 3
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Marriage…
Communication and Sex
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Marriage…
Communication and SexMarriage Pyramid
Problem level…
Relational
Skills Level
WORSHIP LEVEL
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Marriage…
Communication and Sex
3 models of communication:
1. Action
2. Interaction
3. Transaction
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Marriage…
Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32 is a good passage oncommunication.
There are good points on communication.
For context, need to consider verses 17-24.
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Marriage…
Communication and SexEph 4:17-24
• Darkened in their
understanding
• Separated from the
life of God
•Ignorant from hardhearts
• Callous
• Lusting for more
impurity
• New attitude of
mind
• Taught in Christ
• New self created tobe like God
• Righteous
• Holy
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Marriage…
Communication and Sex
Eph 4:15ff
Speaking the truth in love, while
reflecting a changed heart, should helpmove a person from the old self to thenew self (i.e., sanctification)!
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Marriage…
Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32
Principle #1: speak the truth in love
This is different from refraining fromlying.
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Marriage…
Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32
Principle #1: speak the truth in love
Violations to Principle #1:• Double bind• Backdoor communications• Sneak attack
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Marriage…
Communication and Sex
Eph 4:25-32
Principle #2: stay current• Deal with your anger.• Bitterness = Anger + Time• Check out Psalm 4:4ff, Paul quotes this
verse.
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Marriage…
Communication and SexEph 4:25-32
Principle #3: No unwholesome talk
• Wholesome talk builds up a person. Itaddresses the issues. It doesn’t attack theperson, but the problem.
• Examples of unwholesome talk• Exaggerations• Using trait names• Hitting below the belt• Assuming the other’s motives
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Marriage…
Communication and SexEph 4:25-32
Principle #4: Don’t be ruled by anger; speak
words of confession and forgiveness.• People don’t like to confess and ask for
forgiveness.• This reveals a belief that there is no real
solution to sin except to try harder.• When a person confesses and ask for
forgiveness, then we should forgive theperson and not make them work their way
back.
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Marriage…
Communication and SexReview on sex…• God designed sex to be engaged within
marriage.• Sexuality was designed by Christ as a way to
know God more fully (Eze. 16:13-16, 32-33,35-37; Eph. 5:25-27)
• [Note: not in a Pagan sort of way!]• Knowing Christ more fully in all of his infinite
supremacy is designed as a way of guardingand guiding our sexuality.
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Marriage…
Communication and SexSome guiding thoughts on sex…• Any and all pleasure need to be subordinate
to the pleasure in God.• “That which is not desired as a Means to
some Higher end, is desired as our ultimateend itself (in that act). But God only is man’slawful ultimate end.” -- Richard Baxter
• Sex is designed to be a pointer to God, not asubstitute for God.
• Sex is also the physical sign of the marriagecovenant.
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Marriage…
Communication and SexTypical Progression of Physical Intimacy
No Commitment Engaged Married
No Physical
Intimacy
SexualIntercourse
Non-Christian
“Typical” Christian
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Marriage…
Communication and SexBiblical Progression of Physical Intimacy
No Commitment Engaged Married
No Physical
Intimacy
SexualIntercourse
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Marriage…
Communication and SexSome guiding thoughts on sex…• Ultimately, sex is a spiritual act and not just
physical• It always involve the spirit of man working
together with the will of God, communing withthe Holy Spirit, or
• The spirit of man in rebellion against God,pushing the Holy Spirit away.
