MEN’S ISSUES IN PASTORAL CARE THE PROVISON OF PASTORAL CARE REQUIRED TO DEAL WITH DIVORCED MEN PRESENTER: RANDOLPH A. RICHARDS
Transcript
1. MENS ISSUES IN PASTORAL CARE THE PROVISON OF PASTORAL CARE
REQUIRED TO DEAL WITH DIVORCED MEN PRESENTER: RANDOLPH A.
RICHARDS
2. OBJECTIVES The objectives of this presentation is to: 1.
State what is divorce 2. State the factors that led men to a path
of divorce 3. State its impact on men, children, and church. 4. The
Role of the Pastor in dealing with divorced men
3. WHAT IS DIVORCE Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is
the termination of a marital union, the cancelling and/or
reorganizing of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage,
thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a married couple
under the rule of law of the particular country and/or state.
Divorce should not be confused with annulment, which declares the
marriage null and void; with legal separation (a legal process by
which a married couple may formalize a de facto separation while
remaining legally married) or with de facto separation (a process
where the spouses informally stop cohabiting).
4. WHAT IS DIVORCE CONTD Divorce was invented for the
protection of women and was for a long time the sole prerogative of
men, who made the laws and called the womans conduct perverse just
as it suited them. Divorce in early Rome was practically the same
as it was among the Jews at the time of Christ. It was said by the
old Hebrew authorities to have been permitted for the sake of
domestic peace, to check the pride or disobedience of wives and the
anger of husbands.
5. WHAT IS DIVORCE CONTD It is important to remember Malachi
2:16: I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel. According to the
Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. So they are no longer
two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not
separate (Matthew 19:6). God realizes, though, that since marriages
involve two sinful human beings, divorces are going to occur. In
the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the
rights of divorcees, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus
pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of
peoples hearts, not because they were Gods desire (Matthew 19:8).
.
6. WHAT IS DIVORCE CONTD The controversy over whether divorce
and remarriage is allowed according to the Bible revolves primarily
around Jesus words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase except for
marital unfaithfulness is the only thing in Scripture that possibly
gives Gods permission for divorce and remarriage. Many interpreters
understand this exception clause as referring to marital
unfaithfulness during the betrothal period. In Jewish custom, a man
and a woman were considered married even while they were still
engaged or betrothed. According to this view, immorality during
this betrothal period would then be the only valid reason for a
divorce.
7. FACTORS THAT LEAD MEN TO THE PATH OF DIVORCE Adultery
Financial Difficulties Work Stress and Obligations Depression
Addictions
8. THE IMPACT THAT DIVORCE HAVE ON Men Anger Loss of
Self-Esteem Loss of status Alcohol and Drugs Difficulty Trusting
Women
9. THE IMPACT THAT DIVORCE HAVE ON CHILDREN Aggression Non
Compliance Perceived parental loss Interpersonal conflict Economic
hardship Life stress Less parental supervision Lower academic
achievement
10. THE IMPACT THAT DIVORCE HAVE ON Church The way in which the
church responds to individuals and couples during the time of their
separation and divorce appears to have a significant impact on them
and their view of the church as a supportive community. Two
separate studies conducted in the South Pacific Division (SPD), and
in the North American Division (NAD) have found that 50 per cent of
those surveyed dropped out of the church after their divorce. In
the SPD study it was found that all these people had left the
church within three years of their divorce. In the NAD study, 17
per cent had already quit attending prior to the time of their
divorce, and another 17 per cent had stopped attending either at
the time of the divorce or during its aftermath.
11. Frequently the local church and its ministry leaders find
it difficult to know how they might respond to people who are
experiencing marital distress and the break up of their family.
Congregations appear to be quickly drawn into "taking sides" or, on
the other hand, to see intervention and support as an intrusion
into the private lives of the couple and the family. While there
are a number of factors that influence the way in which individuals
go about resolving the social dislocation and emotional trauma
created by separation and divorce, e.g., personality, social
skills, level of self esteem and self confidence, ways of handling
conflict and stress, ways of perceiving the church, one theme was
dominant in the responses of those surveyed. Nearly everyone felt
bewildered by the reactions of embarrassment, disapproval, and
non-acceptance from church members towards their marital
crisis.
12. VIDEO
13. PASTORS RESPONSE IN DEALING WITH DIVORCED MEN Listen
carefully to whatever pain and frustration is expressed. Ensure
safety Assess the possibility of saving the marriage. Focus on
making quality Assess the persons coping skills. Make an effective
referral for professional counselling.
14. BIBLIOGRAPHY Kitchin, S.B., A History of Divorce; NJ:
Lawbook Exchange, 2005. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce
https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/1996/03/the-crisis-of-divorce
http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/pdfs/fcs482.pdf
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/6-divorce-effects-on-men-you-should-know
http://family.adventist.org/home---divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-seventh-day-
church---the-impact-of-divorce-on-sda-couples.html
http://www.gotquestions.org/divorce-remarriage.html#ixzz3VUQhUvlv