Modern Family

Is my family headed in the right

direction? (and how do I tell…?) how do I navigate those aspects of our

culture/community/world that my parents never had to deal with?

I’m trying to nurture/strengthen/equip my children for the future they will live in, but I don’t really know what that involves…

Questions…

Reactive vs.

Proactive/Intentional family culture.

http://

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KMOwBBT6iA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_CmBsi17_0&list=TLZw_FGgDFuRIKtybBTQw_7kzX-zz8VikF

Phil Dunphy

It will not do to heap his grave with flowers.

Flowers wilt and die.Rather let us shelter him as he has sheltered us -

Gather words, soft-spoken, deliberate, love-tipped,

Deep rooted thoughts, nursed with tolerance.More vital even than the cinder block and wood, These walls he built have made the world home

for us. And this great gift remains good:Because he was, we are ourselves.

For Emerson Hynes (Mary Hynes-Berry)

In your experience, what is

most difficult about life as a “modern family”?

(i.e. the unique challenges of our time?)

What are the challenges…?

“The first duty of a leader is to define

reality…”

“What’s the situation here?” “Who/what am I?” “What’s important/what’s not important?” “Where do I fit in the universe?”“What are the parameters of my life?”“What are the goals/where am I headed?”

Max DePree

October 27th – Presence & Acceptance November 3rd – Blessing & Affirmation (Jeanne Walsh) November 10th – Accountability (Jeanne &

Jeremy) November 17th – Forgiveness (Jerry & Pat

Sittser) November 24th – Service & Hospitality

(Frankhausers/Steers).

Becoming Sacred Shelters

“The foundational expression of

spiritual grace within the home is the quality of our presence to one another.”

Q’s: What is the quality of your presence within your family? What makes genuine presence challenging?What was modeled for you in your childhood?

Presence…

“We are always rehashing the past or

rehearsing the future.” vs. attending to the present moment.

Requires intentionality and selflessness. – these are the root of real listening.

A little goes a long way… Daily rituals (car ride, breakfast or dinner,

bedtimes…) Set aside agenda and see where you arrive by

simply attending to the present moment.

Practicing Presence...

Closely related to presence – “…a complete and

unconditional acceptance of each person (as they are) as a precious and beloved child of God.”

We can accept people in this way without accepting particular behaviors or actions (Identity is different from conduct) (“Bad boy!” vs. “I know you are capable of better…”)

Requires that we be well grounded in the truth of our own belovedness…

Letting go of hollow ideals. (my kid/spouse is not who I imagined he/she would be… but I choose to engage the real rather than the ideal.)

Acceptance

Who/what in your family right now is hard for

you to accept? Spend time this week intentionally engaging

the positives – what can I affirm? What gives me hope?

Learn to channel frustration into prayer – sometimes God works on the other and sometimes God works on you…

Practicing acceptance

This week, just pay attention…

What are the dynamics in my family right now? How are we a “sacred shelter” and how are we missing the mark?

What is the quality of my presence in the home? If its not what I want it to be, why is that?

What/who am I having trouble accepting? How do I need to distinguish behavior from identity?

Homework…