6.3.2 Flexing Your Communication-Style ...............................................................17
6.3.3 Communicating in a Group .............................................................................19
6.3.5 Summary & Next Steps ....................................................................................20
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Chapter 1 6.1.1 Written Skills Hello! Welcome to the Work Ready Module on Developing Your Communication skills. My name is Katrina
Communication is something that impacts almost every area of our lives on daily basis. There’s lots of different methods of communicating - from verbal, to written and even body language! During this chapter, we’re going to explore of these methods and discuss methods of building up your skills in certain areas.
First up, we’ll be looking at writing skills. Not everybody is great at communicating in writing. In fact, writing is often considering to be one of the more difficult methods of communication, due to the high potential for misunderstanding.
If we don’t take the time to think carefully and clearly about what we are doing, how we craft our message and how it is likely to be received, we can quickly find ourselves in all sorts of trouble.
Of course writing for professional reasons, like an online application or an email to a potential employer, has a whole different set of requirements. You might not be fully familiar with these, so we aim to equip you with throughout this module.
You will already be aware, of course that you the way you communicate via text message, on social media and between your peers for example, needs to be very different from the way you might write an email in the workplace; but do you feel fully confident in your ability to understand how you encode a message for maximum success at a business level?
Writing is a vital form of communication and when done well, it is one of the most efficient methods of communication. Over the course of your lives you will be called upon to all sorts of writing - from essays, exams and reports at school or university, to strategies, press releases and emails when you start working. And, of course, don’t forget, a beautifully presented and well written CV is absolutely essential if you want to get yourself a job in the first place!
It’s also worth remembering that people automatically make a lot of assumptions and jump to conclusions about your skills and personality when they read documents you have written - that’s human nature! The way you write gives others insight into how intelligent, emotional, researched or organised you are; that’s why it’s all the more important to make sure you really pay attention to your written communication.
We’re going to look at a couple of strategies now that will ensure you communicate effectively when writing. First up, a simple formula: Remember your ABC!
So, to avoid any of the common pitfalls of written communication, the key to success is to remember your ABC’s – and I mean that in all contexts. ABC is an acronym that will help you ensure that you communicate in the best possible manner.
A is for Accuracy – take time to check the information that you provide to avoid sloppy grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes as these reflect poorly on you.
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B is for Brevity– written communication is not a method that works effectively when you have a lot of data or detailed information to share or if you prefer a particularly wordy or flowery style of writing. Keep it short, and simple!
C is for Clarity– make sure that your message is clear and unambiguous. Don’t use confusing terminology and unnecessary jargon and be sure to focus on simplicity and stick to the point.
Alongside the ABC’s, you absolutely HAVE to get the basics right up front - and this means perfect spelling and grammar!
Correct grammar, punctuation and spelling are key in written communications. Many employers have told us that any CV or résumé containing spelling or grammatical mistakes will be rejected immediately, as these simple and silly mistakes signal that a person is careless, that they haven’t dedicated time to the process and that the perhaps lack the critical skills desired in this key area.
This is understandable, when you see a spelling mistake think of the message that it sends to you!
Moreover, a recent BBC news article quotes research that calculates spelling mistakes cost online businesses “millions” in lost sales as we, as consumers, start to have doubts about the credibility of a product as we perceive that insufficient attention will have been paid to the product as per the marketing.
So, there’s no doubt then that good writing means minding your ABC’s as well as your spelling and grammar.
Checking for poor writing and spelling mistakes is essential - it should be seen as a courtesy to your readers since it can take them much longer to understand the messages in your writing if they have to think and re-read text to decipher these.
All written communication should be re-read before sending to print, or hitting the send button in the case of emails, as it is likely that there will be errors. Do not assume that spelling and grammar checkers will identify all mistakes as many incorrect words can indeed be spelt correctly - for example, when “their” is used instead of “there” or “principle” instead of “principal”, and sometimes, entire words may even be missing.
If at all possible, take a break before re-reading and checking your writing, as you are more likely to notice problems when you read it fresh.
Even if you know spelling and grammar rules, you should still double-check your work or, even better, have it proof-read by somebody else. Our brains work faster than our fingers can type and accidental errors or typos inevitably creep in.
Written skills are so important as you’ll need them over the course of your lives - no matter how old you get, or where you go to University, or what job you have, chances are, you’ll always need to be able to write well.
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You’ll also need to be able to speak well and verbalise yourself efficiently, which is what we’ll be looking at next. In the next section, we’ll be moving on to look at how you can develop your verbal skills - I’ll see you there!
6.1.2 Verbal Skills Welcome back and a big hello from me again! I’m so please you’ve decided to continuing learning about the different methods of communication with Work Ready. In the last section, we explored written skills and now we’re going on to look at verbal skills - perhaps the most obvious form of communication that comes to mind.
From a skills perspective, an obvious way of becoming a great communicator, both in your personal and professional life is through the spoken word.
Throughout history, great speakers have demonstrated that a passionate voice and well delivered message has the power to change the world. You only need to think about the seminal Martin Luther King “I have a dream” speech to fully appreciate the force that an inspiring voice can generate!
However, it’s not just about making speeches or giving presentations and speeches though; in fact, how you communicate verbally has a profound impact on the way in which people respond to you.
You can act the part, do your research, and be the most knowledgeable person in the world on your chosen subject, but you won’t get far without an impactful voice and the ability to ensure that people want to listen to what you have to say.
The sound of your voice also gives away a lot of clues about your emotional state and level of confidence. One common problem for instance, is when people are feeling anxious or nervous; it is reflected by hesitancy when speaking, as well as the tone or clarity of voice. On the other hand, someone who is confident in themselves will be more likely to have command of their voice and clarity of speech.
We often forget that our voice, like every other part of our communication, is entirely within our control and that with a little effort and energy we can learn to speak like the greats and ensure that we are impactful and inspiring every time we speak.
For the purposes of simplicity and to ensure that you can get started on your journey to inspiring verbal communication, we are going to work with the two main types of vocal tonality which are known as dominant and submissive.
First of all, let’s think about a dominant voice. This type of vocal tonality will tend to express leadership, assertiveness, and security. It shows you’re not trying to impress anyone else. People will trust and respect you more.
A notable feature of dominant voices is that they stay the same or lower in pitch when finishing a sentence or phrase. This enables it to sound like you’re speaking your mind without hesitation.
Submissive voices on the other hand, express uncertainty, passiveness, and doubt in their tone or manner. They show you’re seeking approval or validation from others.
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People might distrust and forget about what you have to say.
Submissive voices rise in pitch almost as if you’re asking a question or looking for a response, when you’re not. The issue with submissive voices is that they indicate a lack of self-belief, and if you don’t believe in what you are saying how can you expect other people to?
Recognise and catch yourself when you revert to a submissive voice - the two most common instances are with strangers and authority figures, so keep an ear for it when faced with those situations. Your voice naturally weakens when nervous or in a position where you feel inferior. Be proactive and work against it!
I’m now going to talk you through our top five tips for building a beautifully rich, dominant speaking voice.
First of all, speak slowly and clearly.
It’s often the case that when we feel nervous, our speech will tend to speed up as our breathing quickens and anxiety levels peak. This often has the effect of adding a wobble to the voice that people naturally interpret as nerves and can be somewhat uncomfortable to listen to. It also often results in our words being garbled and the message lacking clarity and direction.
We’ll also tend to speak through clenched teeth when we feel uncomfortable with little movement of the lips and a tense jaw. This makes it really difficult for others to properly interpret what we are saying as the sound is pretty much locked into the mouth.
To have excellent articulation it is important to unclench the jaw, open the mouth, pronounce your words and pay particular attention to the ends of words so that you don’t trail off.
As a result, taking the time to proactively speak more slowly and clearly well help buy you time to concentrate on all these important elements.
Secondly, work on speaking strongly and projecting.
This is not a question of treating the voice like the volume control on the TV remote. Some people have naturally soft voices and physically cannot bellow. Additionally, if the voice is raised too much, tonal quality is lost.
Instead of raising the voice it should be 'projected out'. Support the voice with lots of breath, essentially speak from the stomach as opposed to the throat - the further you want to project the voice out, the more breath you need. When talking to a group or meeting, it is important to never aim your talk to the front row or just to the people nearest you, but to consciously project what you have to say to those furthest away. By developing a strong voice, as opposed to a loud voice, you will be able to communicate more effectively.
Thirdly, don’t rush to respond.
It can often be the case that when we embark upon a new job or find ourselves in new circumstances, we put ourselves under undue pressure to know all the answers and subconsciously believe that we need to be ready to respond to anything at a moment’s notice.
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Practice gaining confidence in taking your time, thinking carefully and don’t feel into the trap of thinking you need to know the answer to everything! Give yourself an extra second or two to process what they just said. A confident person isn’t afraid to collect their thoughts. Rushing to blurt out answers makes it seem like you’re not taking time to consider what you’re saying, so when it doubt, just take a moment!
On that note, the fourth point is: use pauses effectively.
In the same vein of not rushing to respond, get comfortable with using pauses; pauses are an incredibly powerful and easy to use vocal technique. They can be used to highlight something you’ve just said, to draw attention to you before you deliver an important message, to give yourself some time to take a deep breath and think, and to express authority and confidence.
You can use pauses not only at the end of sentences, but in the middle as well. A great technique is to use pauses in verbal communication as you might commas in written communication. Where a comma should fall, wait an extra second before you continue to speak. This is especially effective when you are telling stories or recounting anecdotes as it builds suspense and engages the listener.
And finally, our fifth tip is to speak with passion.
Expressing passion makes you more interesting and engaging from the second you start speaking.
The ability to speak with passion is available to anybody with a little practice and knowledge about what’s involved. First of all, you need to get excited! Flat, monotone voices put people to sleep.
To make speech effective and interesting, certain techniques can be applied. Whilst words convey meaning, how they are said reflects feelings and emotions. Vocal variety can be achieved by variations in three main areas: pitch, inflection and enthusiasm.
When speaking in public, try to convey the information with as much vocal energy and enthusiasm as possible. Try to make the talk interesting and remember that when you are nervous or even excited, vocal chords tense and shorten causing the voice to get higher.
Emphasise certain words and phrases to convey their importance and reflect your emotions. Use animated facial expressions and expressive hand gestures to further enhance your words.
So, now you have five very distinct areas into which you can pour some time and energy and start to build an enviable speaking voice. The key to achieving success in these areas is simply to practice, practice, practice, so it’s important that you become more conscious of your voice and more comfortable with hearing yourself speak out loud.
The best way to do this is to record yourself reading out loud or practicing your speech and then critically listen to the recording with the intention or working out what you need to do more or less of. Very often people find it a bit cringe-worthy to listen to the sound of their own recorded voice; it can feel a little embarrassing and most of us are not used to hearing our own voices. Get past the initial, ‘Do I really sound like that?’ stage and develop a better understanding of your voice.
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When you are relaxed you will feel more confident so if you start to spend more time listening to your own voice you will have a better idea of how you sound to other people.
When you have a moment grab yourself your favourite book or a copy of an inspiring speech and spend some time reading aloud and record how you perform. I promise you it will take no time at all for you to start to feel more confident and comfortable with the way you sound and as a result, start being able to make tweaks to your verbal communication that will quickly become second nature.
Make sure you test and try the techniques we’ve outlined, and I’m sure you’ll become a more effective verbal communicator - just keep practising and don’t give up!
In the next section, we’re going to be looking at almost the opposite - non-verbal communication and body language. I’ll see you there!
6.1.3 Non Verbal & Body Language Welcome back - we’ve been exploring methods of communication.
So we have looked at the spoken word, the written word and now we come to the final piece of the puzzle when it comes to building excellence in the fundamental communication skills: our non-verbal communication and body language.
A mystery of the non-verbal skill set is an absolute must when it comes excelling in the art of communication. Here we’re thinking about body language and the impact it has on both our own communication and the way in which it is received by our audience.
I’m sure you’ve already learnt a thing or two about body language in your time, but are you aware of quite how impactful it really is?
Studies have shown that sometimes up to 90% of our overall message is relayed through our non-verbal communication at any given time, and you don’t have to stretch yourself too much to recognise how true this is. Think for a second about conflicting messages for example – how is it that someone who is stamping their feet, gesturing wildly and shouting ‘I’m not angry’, does not come across as credible? It’s not so much what you say that counts, but how you say it.
Our non-verbal behaviour is very powerful – it is this aspect of our communication to which people most immediately, emotionally and intuitively respond.
No one has yet come up with an answer to clearly define the concept of “intuition” in humans but it certainly includes the unconscious process of picking up and processing non-verbal information.
This is happening to you and to those around you all the time; our brains are primed to pay specific attention to the signals that other people are giving off on a constant basis.
Typically, when a person experiences a feeling; be that anger, irritation, attraction or excitement; there are resulting electrical and chemical changes take place in the brain and are reflected throughout your body.
These changes have an impact across the whole of your body, affecting blood flow and muscle tension, and therefore your body language.
As a result of this, there will be subtle but visible changes to your movements, in the
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muscle tone of your face and body, in your posture, your breathing patterns, your pulse, your pupils… the list goes on, and on!
So, you may think you are doing a great job at hiding your feelings but typically you will only be hiding the obvious signals.
Learning to become more aware and mindful of your non-verbal communication is a critical part of becoming an excellent communicator.
So let’s take a look at our top five tips to minding your own body language:
First of all, mind your posture.
In this day and age, it’s quite rare to come across someone who has particularly good posture. We all tend to hunch over or slump a little and this can be especially obvious if we feel uncomfortable - we tend to close ourselves down, or curl up around ourselves for comfort.
Good posture creates a good presence, and an attitude of confidence and leadership. Conversely, bad posture signals to others that you might lack confidence, or self-esteem or have low energy levels. You should be aware of your posture when you are standing and sitting to ensure that you appear engaged and animated.
A great way to help you develop the type of posture you need is to simply imagine a string loosely pulling you up from the middle of your head. Become more conscious of the way in which you hold yourself and you’ll quickly develop skills in this area.
Secondly, make eye contact.
Good eye contact is essential and a critical component of how you connect to other people. The old saying that the “eyes are a window to your soul” is entirely accurate in most cases, especially as there are a lot of meanings to eye contact.
It can be a glaring look when a person is angry, a stare when we see something unusual or confusing, a glazed over look when we have lost interest or stopped listening and so on. Our eyes also reflect our sincerity, integrity and comfort when communicating with another person.
Avoiding eye contact tends to make others feel that you do not want the person you are speaking with to know too much, that you don’t like them or that you do not feel comfortable with that person.
A huge part of eye contact is related to building trust. A person with whom you are talking to will be more likely to trust and respect you as eye contact indicates an openness in communication. It also tells the other person “Hey, I am confident and self-assured, you can trust me”.
Become more mindful and aware of the way in which you make eye contact with others and ensure that you are looking properly at people to encourage connection and openness. Be careful though, there’s a balance to be found, too much eye contact can come across intense so make sure you focus on finding the right balance!
Thirdly, smile!
It sounds obvious, but being an inspiring and impactful communicator has lots to do
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with the way you make other people around you feel and so smiling has so many benefits to both ourselves and others!
Smiling makes you appear more approachable and thus interaction with others is easier and more enjoyable. Also these behaviours are contagious, making others feel better too, and make you a more appealing and attractive person to be around. This in turn will have a positive effect on your well-being. On top of this, the science is clear; when you smile your body releases chemicals in the form of endorphins and serotonin, both of which make you feel better!
Number 4, make sure you keep your chin up.
One of the other things that can happen when we feel anxious or nervous in our communication with others is that we will tend to drop our head and look at the ground or to our feet.
We are unconsciously protecting our neck, as we feel vulnerable. This is a very low power body language position and it clearly signals to others that you feel uncomfortable and are perhaps unwilling to give eye contact.
So, keep your head straight up and keep your eyes on the people you communicating with. It’s also really difficult to project your voice if your chin is on your chest!
Our fifth tip is to focus on using effective gestures.
The key to this point is the use of the word effective. It’s important that you don’t fidget with your hair or a pen or tap when you are meant to be listening or communicating as this indicates nervousness and can be very off-putting to your audience. Hand and arm movements however, are a really important part of our visual picture when we are speaking to others. They are reinforcements of the words and ideas we are trying to convey and a nonverbal representation of how we feel. if we use gestures correctly, they will help us enhance our message and we will appear confident and relaxed. Get used to standing with your arms relaxed and by your sides, don’t cross them or have your hands in your pockets. You will automatically bring them up when you make gestures or comments and your expressive nature will soon shine through. So, you now know all there is to know about effective communication through body language; all you have to do now is go out and practice, practice, practice (again!).
It’s also going to help you develop your own skills if you become more mindful of the non-verbal communication of people around you.
Pay more specific attention to how others hold themselves and what this tells you about the state of mind and emotional state. Remember that all humans are naturally amazing at this skill so put in a little conscious effort and watch the learnings fly in!
Coming up next, there’s a quiz on writing etiquette for which you’ll have to draw upon the knowledge you learnt earlier during the writing skills section - good luck with it!
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Chapter 2
6.2.1 Listening Skills & Habits Hello there, and welcome to the Work Ready Developing Communication Skill module. Over the course of this chapter, we’ll be focusing on an extremely important communication skill - listening
Listening probably one of the most underrated communication skills. Communication, after all, is a two way process, it’s not just about expressing yourself, but also learning to listen to others too.
Effective listening is essential for all successful communication, without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood – communication breaks down and the sender and receiver of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.
On top of this, if you want to be a truly excellent communicator, mastering the ability to listen will also help you get the most out of other people and make sure that you are optimising your own performance and the way in which others perceive you.
People are so rarely truly listened to, (most people are too busy thinking what they are going to say in response), that the very simple act of doing it will set you apart, encourage people to open up, give you more information, fostering a deep sense of trust and rapport.
All the world over, many successful leaders and entrepreneurs credit their success to effective listening skills. Indeed, Richard Branson frequently quotes listening as one of the main factors behind the success of Virgin and writes tirelessly on the subject and how underrated a skill it really is: “Listen; it makes you smarter. Nobody ever learned anything from listening to themselves speak. The only way we can grow is by learning new things from other people”.
In fact, listening is considered such an important workplace skill that many top employers provide specific listening skills training for their employees – so what better way to get yourself ahead of the curve than starting to hone your skills in this area now?
To help you with this even further we’ve identified our top four qualities of excellent listeners, which we’re going to explore now so you can start building your listening skills right away!
Firstly of all, listening is all about respect - listening is all about making sure that you are respectful to the other party when you are listening, and this is easily achieved when your attention stays where it should be.
Make sure that you allocate time whenever you have to listen, don’t be distracted or rushed, or have other things on your mind. Demonstrate that you care and are interested and committed to the person that you are listening to.
By becoming the type of person who is interested in other and their unique perspectives, you not only show respect but also gain it back.
Secondly, express empathy.
Make it your mission to really be with the person you are listening to and to try and understand their feelings and specific model of the world. If you genuinely feel sad when someone else is expressing sadness or happy when they are expressing the same, then your effectiveness as a listener is dramatically increased.
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Try to immerse yourself in that person’s experience; you need to be capable of appreciating what it might be like to be them at that moment in time. This is an advanced communication skill that significantly boosts your connection with others and requires little more than some mental agility and the intent to try. Be present every time you listen to someone.
Number three, focus on articulation - an excellent listener will be able to reflect back the essence of the conversation and situation to the person communicating thus demonstrating an understanding and avoiding making damaging assumptions or judgements. In order achieve this, all you need to do is feedback what has been said succinctly to help create clarity and show you understand.
A great way of practicing this skill is to close all conversations where information has been exchanged with some sort of summary statement or conclusion. You’ll be used to doing this from your essay writing days so apply this to your listening skills and reap the benefits of increased understanding and greater meaning.
Finally, silence really is golden - Get comfortable with silence; by which we mean silence that is comfortable and relaxed; the type of silence that you’ll happily sit in with your friends and loved ones. Be patient with your speaker, avoid all of the bad habits that we’ll come on top and try not to interrupt even if you want to ask a question or clarify a point. The other added benefit of working with silence is that people have a tendency to fill it themselves so you will often find that they supply more information than they perhaps would have done, if you’d rushed on.
Respect, empathy, good articulation and comfortable silence are the cornerstones of good listening. If you are able to build these practises into your day to day life, you will find you become a much better listener. That being said, it does take time and conscious effort - you’ve got to practise before you’re anywhere close to perfect!
Now that you’ve got to grips with the fundamentals of good listening, we’re going to more on to active listening and the levels of listening in the next section - see you there!
6.2.2 Active Listening & Listening Levels Hello there, and welcome to the second section of Work Ready Building Communications Skills module. Over the course of this chapter, we’ll be focusing on an extremely important communication skill - listening. In the last section we looked at the habits of good listeners, and now we’re going to hone in on developing your listening skills.
In this section, we’ll start by considering the concept of active listening, and then look at levels of listening. So, let’s get started!
One of the reasons that successful listening is so difficult a skill to master is that it’s an active skill which many of us take for granted or confuse with hearing. For example, right now, you can hear what I am saying but the extent to which you are listening depends largely on the level of focus and attention that you are dedicating to interacting with this video. For example, can you repeat that quote from Richard Branson I said in the previous section?
Few people are naturally good listeners, even if we think we are, and this is in some way
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to do with the way in which our brains work. For example, did you know that the average adult attention span is only around 17 seconds long?
Amazing right? In our hectic lives with our busy, busy brains our attention is constantly being pulled elsewhere and it’s really easy for us all to get distracted if we allow ourselves to do so. It’s also interesting to know that whilst the average person speaks at a rate of 100 – 150 words per minute, the average brain can process much, much more than that.
But sometimes our desire to multi task works against us. Our minds work so speedily that we think that we can think and listen at the same time but in reality we miss lots of information, make assumptions and send distracting non-verbal messages to those around us when we don’t have the active skill of listening essentially turned on.
So let’s get started on equipping you with excellent active listening skills. When it comes to developing listening skills, the best way to think about it is to start by considering the various listening levels that exist.
We work with three distinct levels, each of which has a range of different characteristics that make them appropriate for different working scenarios and solutions. Let’s look at each of the levels in turn now.
First of all, we have listening level 1 listening, which could also be known as Internal listening. This is the type of listening that you’re likely to be using most of the time and maybe at this very moment; the type of listening that you use when you’re having an everyday conversation with your friends and family.
This is really only listening at a very superficial level - you’ll know that you’re operating at this level when you find yourself thinking about how you might respond to the information that you have just heard or thinking specifically about what it means to you. A great quote from the fabulous Steven Covey helps really crystallise what this level is about “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply”.
It’s also the type of listening where you’re not really listening at all, you’ve totally zoned out and are thinking about yourself, about what you are having for tea or what you are doing on the weekend. Remember that listening is a difficult skill to master so it’s likely you currently find yourself in this zone quite a lot. Fear not, we’re here to help!
Listening at level 2; listening is a far more focused style of listening. You’ll know when you are listening at this level because it’s really characterised by a lack of internal dialogue, you shouldn’t be thinking about anything at all other than the interaction you are taking part in, and even then you shouldn’t be thinking about what the information you are receiving means to you.
At this level you should be entirely focused on the speaker and engrossed in what they are saying. It takes time and effort to listen this way so it’s important to ensure that you choose an environment that allows you to perform this skill and it is tiring if you do it for a long time.
By purely focusing upon what is being said you are able to concentrate on the other elements of communication that we’ve already covered in this course. You’ll start to notice the tone and pace of the communication, you’ll pay more attention to not only what is being said but also how it is being said; ensuring that you fully understand it
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through clarification and summary.
Our final level of listening, level 3 is sometimes referred to as global listening. This is quite an advanced skill so it’s something for you to aim for throughout your life. It’s not used very often as a type of interaction, so you can generally recognise when someone is listening in this way; they stand out typically as a charismatic and engaging persona who typically put you at ease and make you feel important and heard.
Chances are that if I ask you now to think about those people in your life around who you feel the most comfortable, understood and important, you’d also describe as a good listener. The power of attention should not be underestimated. This is all about listening at 360 degrees, type of listening that a performer uses when reacting to an audience. It’s about picking up on energy, having a heightened sense of awareness and trusting your intuition, feelings and vibes.
So, make it your mission to actively listen at Level 2 as you start to practice with your skills and hone and refine your techniques in this area. If you keep working on it, I have no doubt that you will be able to reach level 3. Just be sure to keep in mind that listening is a lifelong development, you’ll get better and better the more you practise. We’ve learnt a great deal about what to do when it comes to listening, in the next section we’re going to be looking at what not to do. We’ll be focusing on bad listening habits and what to avoid, a what not to do guide if you will - I’ll see you there!
6.2.3 Bad Listening Habits Hello there, and welcome to the Work Ready Developing Communication Skill module. Over the course of this chapter, we’ve looked at the good habits of listeners, as well as active listening and levels of listening. In this section, we will be focusing on something entirely different - the bad habits! As you’ve probably realised, one of the reasons why listening is quite so difficult is that there are so many subconscious habits and traps to fall into. We can learn from these bad habits though, and hopefully avoid them. So, Next up, we’re going to highlight the top 4 bad listening habits, hopefully this will start to raise your awareness as to when you are inadvertently sabotaging your own ability to listen properly! Bad habit number one is interrupting - When you interrupt someone, even if it’s simply because you agree with what they are saying or what to make an impassioned point in the same area. you are signalling to them that you consider what you have to say, more important than what they have to say.
I know sometimes it’s just that you are excited and want to share your enthusiasm, but cutting off someone’s flow has a range of other problems associated. For example, if you interrupt a person, there is a very strong chance that you are cutting off vital information that they wanted to share and also that they might not be able to recover their train of thought and get back to what they wanted to say.
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How many times have you experienced being interrupted only to be unable to remember what you were just saying or what you wanted to say? Also, it doesn’t feel good right? It is rarely done with maliciously but the impact is significant enough to make it something that you need to work hard to avoid. Instead getting into the habit of making very brief notes when you are listening so that you can return to a particularly interesting point once they have stopped speaking. The key here, however, is to ensure they are brief - too wordy and you’ll stop listening again! The second bad habit is finishing people’s sentences - This shares some commonalities with interrupting in that it is rarely done with a negative intention; on the contrary people will often do this when they think that the other party is struggling to find appropriate words or when they believe that they know what is going to be said next and want to indicate their agreement up-front. I’m sure you know someone who always does this, or perhaps it’s actually you! There’s even a presupposition that when we know someone really well, we can finish their sentences because we know and understand them so well. Nevertheless, it’s a bad habit and an important one to break. The unconscious message is that you already know what they are going to say (which you categorically don’t) or that you don’t think what they are saying is sufficiently important to let them finish it or even that you are rushing them through to completion.
The words that a person chooses to use are vitally important so the next time you are in this situation, be patient, let them think and find their words unless they specifically ask you to help them out.
The next common bad habit is making assumptions - When we make assumptions, we often believe that we are doing so based on what we know to be true & based on the information we have available, however, it’s important to remember that when we do this, all we are doing is process information via our own understanding of the world and our own unique set of filters.
When we make assumptions, we are simply projecting this onto another person. So, in actual fact, what you assume says far more about you, than it does the other person. It’s a shocking statistic but it’s one that is profoundly important to remember; when we make assumptions, if we take the time to check and clarify the information at the time, a whopping 9 out of 10 times, you will find that your assumption was wrong. So, learn to leave your assumptions behind, double check yourself and keep an open mind in order to leave this habit behind.
The fourth and final bad habit to watch is ignoring verbal or non verbal cues - As we’ve already identified, it’s critical to listen to both the content of what is being said and the way it is communicated in order to get the true meaning.
If you listen just to the words that a person uses without also “listening” to their non-verbal cues, you run the risk of missing out on a significant part of their meaning and communication.
You also risk being oblivious to signs that your own communication is perhaps not achieving its desired objective; for example, if a person starts to look away or shift in an uncomfortable manner they may be resistant to the information that you are trying to impart and as such you need to look for a different style or channel.
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There you have it - four very bad habits to avoid: interrupting, finishing somebody else’s sentences, making assumptions and ignoring cues. If you’re able to be conscious of these habits and learn how to avoid them, you’ll find you gain much more respect and come across as a good listener.
We’ve given you a pretty comprehensive coverage of the basics of excellent listening skills as well as defined the areas in which you’d be advised to focus your attention to really optimise your performance in this area. The key now for you is to go ahead and practice as often as you can. It should be hard as most people love to have someone to listen to them!
Up next, there’s a quiz that will show you how good a listener you are - good luck! Just remember, no matter what you get on the quiz, listening is one of those skills that you have so many opportunities to practice. Use every single occasion that presents itself to you to start working with these tips and techniques.
With time, effort and energy you’ll quickly become one of the rarest breeds today; a really, really good listener!
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Chapter 3
6.3.1 Questioning Skills Hello, and a big, warm welcome to Chapter 3 of Work Ready Schools Developing Communication Skills.
We now understand how important it is to have excellent listening skills, and we know what we need to do to develop our skills in this area. We will be turning our attention to questioning skills.
It’s not too much of a stretch of the imagination to see that these two areas - listening and questioning, go hand in hand. In fact, you’re unlikely to excel at one unless you also excel at the other!
It’s a human necessity to be able to gather information. We need information to help us learn, develop, be more creative, solve problems, make decisions, form relationships and connections and to better understand other people’s perspectives. All of this is facilitated through the act of asking good questions.
When we have gathered detailed, accurate and meaningful information, only then can we be great communicators. It’s not enough just to ask any old question though, we need to take the time to think about the right one and deliver it in the correct manner.
The ability to ask the right questions in the right way is a huge part of being a successful communicator, and we’re going to spend a little bit of time now exploring the reasons why this is - why do we need to develop our questioning skills?
Firstly, in order to OBTAIN INFORATION - The most obvious function of a question is to gain simple or complex information; we ask this type of question all the time, starting from early childhood and continuing throughout our entire lives. Simple questions like ‘What time is it?”, “What is your name?” ,“Where are we going” are all designed to obtain information.
Secondly, we ask question to CHECK UNDERSTANDING & TEST KNOWLEDGE - Again, a process that starts in our early days in school, throughout all of our education and continuing on to the world of work. Questions remain an effective method of checking understanding and testing knowledge in certain areas.
Even when you aren’t taking a test, you need to use questions all the time to check that you have understood new information or a new concept. For example, “What is the capital of France?”, “What did you understand by…” “What can you recall about…?” are all questions that check understanding and knowledge.
Finally, we must ask questions to TO LEARN ABOUT OTHERS - Questioning allows us to find out more about the people with whom we are communicating; a large part of successful inter-personal communication is linked to your ability to understand and reach other people which can only really be achieved through effective questions and an open minded approach.
This can be extremely useful when attempting to build rapport, influence others and develop your own empathy skills. Example of these types of questions can be heard all
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the time - like “How do you feel about this?” “What is your opinion on X?” “What do you make of Z?”
Obtaining information, checking understanding and learning about others are three of the main reasons why we ask questions, though those are the most common ones, there are loads more reasons when you think about it. Now that we understand why we ask questions, let’s talk about the types of questions we ask.
In their very simplest form, questions fall into one or two categories, known simply as open or closed.
The basic difference between the two is that closed questions normally invite a short, focused, factual response - they tend to be questions to which the responses are yeses and no’s, or one ones. For example “do you live in the UK?” or “are you hungry?”.
Open questions on the other hand lead to lengthier and more descriptive answers. Typically they require more thought and more descriptive responses, for example “what happened at the meeting this morning? or “why did he react in that way?”
Because closed questions can simply require a “Yes” or “No” response, they can be great for gathering information, doing research or canvassing opinion when there are a limited number of options available.
Open questions are far more suited to situations where you want to better understand a person’s thoughts or feelings, where you want someone to think more creatively and perhaps strategically or where you want to provide someone with the opportunity to talk and express themselves.
To summarise, closed questions are great for obtaining information, especially when there are limited options for answers whereas open questions encourage open answers and are great for building rapport. With both types of questions, tone and delivery are very important - be mindful that you use a friendly and warm tone, and keep in mind how much difference delivery makes. You don't want to come across too intense or judgemental after all!
So, there we have it - you now unstained why we ask questions, and the different types of questions there are. Remember, questioning goes hand in hand with listening, and both are absolutely essential skills for being a strong communicator. Keep working on your questioning skills, think about what you are trying to learn and what the right type of question to ask it, be mindful of your tone and delivery, and most of all, just keep at it! In the next section, we’re going to move on to look at how you can adapt your communication style to different people and different situations. See you there!
6.3.2 Flexing Your Communication-Style Welcome back, we’re nearly at the end of our module now having taken a comprehensive journey through the essentials of developing communication skills.
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We’ve talked about how to achieve communication excellence from a written and verbal perspective, we’ve investigated body language, the key skills of listening and asking effective questions and we’ve shared a lot of information on the things that you can do to practice and build in each specific area. The final piece of the puzzle requires us to think a little more about how we can flex and adapt our own individual communication skills to ensure that we create impact.
This also leads us to think about the differences between communicating on a one to one basis and the requirement that we’ll often face in the workplace, of communicating to a group or an audience.
When you are communicating on a one to one, personal basis, you’ll need to be able to naturally flex your own skills to get the best out of the interaction and we’ll spend a little bit of time thinking about this throughout this chapter.
Of course, the greater challenge is when you are communicating with a range of people who will each have their own preferred style, their own requirements for how they access information and their own goals out of the interaction.
It’s useful to remind ourselves that the fundamental purpose of communicating is to ensure that your message is received and understood by the recipient. This means that, as well as developing all of the skills that we’ve covered to date, you need to be able to flex your style to meet the requirements of the other party.
It doesn’t matter if you are the best written communicator in the world if, in fact, the receiver finds this particular medium boring and difficult to engage with.
Just think for a minute about the times that you might have struggled to really connect with a communicator and consider what might have been going wrong. Perhaps you’ve attended presentations where you were unable to concentrate – what was going wrong? What was the person doing or NOT doing that had an impact?
We’ve all experienced the type of communication where you’re physically there and look like you’re listening but in reality your conversation partner has lost you and you’re operating on autopilot or thinking about what you’re going to do later on that day.
It’s vital that you learn to adapt your style to the person and the situation at hand so you don’t lose engagement. When we are thinking about flexing our own skills, there are a lot of areas where we can have an impact once we just learn to step outside our own preferences for a moment.
The key thing to remember from a one to one basis is that your conversation partner is constantly providing you with insight into the way in which they like to receive information. When you are using your listening skills you’ll be able to identify these traits quickly and use them to maximise your skills and influence.
For example, if they provide you lots of detail then you can naturally conclude that they will be comfortable with receiving lots of detail and adjust your own style to meet this requirement. Similarly, if they communicate in a fast paced manger, they are giving you a clue that this is also a preference.
The key to flexing your skills is to recognise what the other people is doing and simply do the same. There is no rocket science involved with this; it’s simply a question of
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becoming more conscious of the other person involved in the interaction and then practicing with developing skills that match their own.
Now let’s turn our attention to how this is different when you are delivering a presentation, speech or simply addressing a wider audience. In fact, the biggest shift that you will need to consider when you are communicating to a group is that you want to ensure that your message is received and heard by everybody in the audience.
You need to craft your message in a way that is going to reach everyone and you need to deliver in a style that is both inspiring and motivating enough to keep people with you throughout.
To begin with, it is important that you have a full understanding of your material; spend time on this area to give yourself the best possible chance of ensuring that the audience stays engaged.
You need to focus all your energy in the communication and delivery of your presentation rather than getting distracted by meaning or the context of your conten.t Preparation will help you create a structure and clear points, which everybody will be able to follow. Simplicity is the key in this area; attempting to communicate anything overly complicated is guaranteed to lose you followers straight away.
Also, it’s important to keep things short and sweet as much as you can - identify your key points and then use these to select supporting material that will engage people across the board; so think about appropriate visual images for those people who are more engaged by pictures, diagrams or graphs for example.
You can use stories, examples and analogies to help your audience understand key concepts and appeal to those people who prefer to hear information rather than see it. You could also think about using handouts to support your presentation for those people who like to interact with information in a more tangible/physical way.
Communicating something is slightly more complex as messages can be lost in a group setting, and everybody processes information differently.
In the next section, we’re going to move on to discuss tools and tops that will really help you build interest and engagement when communication within a group - another important skill to develop. I’ll see you there!
6.3.3 Communicating in a Group Hello, and a big, warm welcome back to Chapter 3 of Work Ready Schools Developing Communication Skills. In the same way that your questioning and listening skills will have a powerful impact in one to one or direct interaction, you need to be mindful of how you use your body, voice and eye contact in a group scenario
Communication can be a whole different ball game when you are trying to share information to an entire audience, no matter how big or small that audience is.
The average adult attention span is only 17 seconds long, so you will need to use every trick in the book if you’re going to keep your group engaged with you.
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The most important thing upon which to focus is to ensure that you try to vary your delivery and provide new and interesting stimuli for your audience’s attention. Some specific tips that work particularly well when it comes to your delivery, especially in a group format are:
1. EMPHASIS - Stress key words, phrases and ideas that you want your audience to remember, practice enunciating clearly and loudly and paying particular attention to the beginning and ending or words to make your point.
2. SPEED - Vary the speed of your delivery; for example, if you are talking through a list of items that are all equally important you can speed up your pace and talk relatively quickly so as not to lose attention or focus. Conversely, if you are introducing a new topic or have made a key point and want your audience to reflect on it you may decide to slow down your speed or even pause.
3. VOCAL TONE - The human voice can create upward of 400 different tones and pitches, so use this to your advantage and work on developing a masterful speaking voice. You may decide to speak a little more softly if you want to draw your audience in; after a break to bring your audience back, you may decide to speak a little louder.
4. VOICE PROJECTION - Practicing out loud and ideally had someone else listen to you is important to ensure you’re aware of how you project your voice; often we can sound louder to ourselves than we actually are, often we’re much quieter. Check volume levels with your audience but always avoid shouting - remember that you need to be projecting to the back row and not simply addressing the front row.
Those are our top tips for building engagement with your delivery during a group setting.
The only way to really gain confidence in this area though is to practice, practice, practice. It’s certainly worth it though. Whenever we listen to our audience, we learn. We become more sympathetic and therefore more persuasive. That’s why audience participation is such a powerful tool for audience engagement.
When you find yourself in group situations, bring your mind back to the tips we’ve discussed here and see if you can use them. In the meantime, standing in front of the mirror and practicing a speech or presentation is a technique that remains is tried and true.
The theory of practising incredibly simple, yet the real problem is actually putting in the effort day in and day out - you have to make a conscious effort to do it! Coming up next, there’s a quiz to test how confident a communicator you are - good luck with it!
6.3.5 Summary & Next Steps So, congratulations, we’ve reached the final section of the final chapter on Developing Communication Skills!
We hope you’ve enjoyed yourselves as well as learnt a lot, and we hope you’re proud of your achievements so far. You should be!
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We’ve covered a vast amount of information on the subject of communication, meaning that you’re already in great shape to excel - you have the knowledge you need to really stand out and hit the ground running.
Remember that communication skills tops the list of desirable assets that employers and universities look for when they are assessing candidates, so well done for giving yourself a competitive edge.
Over the course of this module, we’ve taken an in-depth look into the methods of communication, from written to verbal and body language. We’ve also explored listening skills and levels, with a focus on active listening.
We then looked questioning skills, and how they go hand in hand with listening - in order to obtain information, learn and read the people around you, you need to both be a good listener and ask questions.
Finally, we moved on to look at flexing your communication style, engagement and delivery - all important skills to communicate effectively both in one on one and group situations.
We’ve equipped you with a whole host of tools, tips and knowledge to really get going in this area. Take confidence from the fact that simply by spending time working through this course you will have automatically started the process of upgrading your skills.
All the information you have covered will be running through your brain and you’ll become more conscious of the way in which you communicate, which frankly, is half the battle.
As with all learning, in order to really master the subject, you should make it your mission to spend time reviewing this course and similar materials as often as you can. Go back and watch the relevant sections as many times as you like, until you feel you’ve mastered the key concepts.
When it comes to communication, it really is a case of practice makes perfect, and the good news is that you have lots of opportunities to do so! It’s estimated that you spend up to 80% of your waking time in communication, so make it your mission to use every single exchange as an occasion to hone and perfect your skills. Remember that you can work on developing an element of the communication process every single time you interact with someone and experience a rapid overall improvement.
It’s been an absolute pleasure taking you through this journey. Please do visit our website (www.workreadyschools.com) for links to free resources and lots more great micro-learning courses, also we’ve got lots of great content on our social media channels so be sure to check those out, and stay in touch!
Wishing you all the very best, we hope to see you back on another Work Ready Schools module soon!
