AcclaimforMoreThanMiracles

This text is a timely and valuablegathering togetherof the stateof the artofsolution-focusedbrief therapy.Becauseof the simplicity of the chapters dealingwith the core tenets of SFBT, it offers avaluablereadfortraineeswhoareworkingtheir way through the model. The firstchapter is an excellent and simplesummary of the whole model, with theverbatims demonstrating the principles.Likewise, experienced practitioners will

findapleasurableand thoroughreviewoftheirknowledgeofSFBT,withthelevelofdetailjustright.

PeterW.Cantwell,PhDLecturer,SwinburneUniversityand

WilliamsRoadFamilyTherapyCentre,Victoria,Australia

MoreThanMiraclesTheStateoftheArt

ofSolution-FocusedBriefTherapy

HaworthBriefTherapySeriesYvonneM.Dolan,MA

Editor

Animal-Assisted Brief Therapy: ASolution-Focused Approach byTeriPichotandMarcCoulter

MoreThanMiracles:TheStateoftheArt of Solution-Focused BriefTherapybyStevedeShazerandYvonne Dolan with HarryKorman, Terry Trepper, EricMcCollum,andInsooKimBerg

AdditionalTitlesofRelatedInterest

Becoming a Solution Detective:Identifying Your ClientsStrengths in Practical BriefTherapy by John Sharry,Brendan Madden, and MelissaDarmody

Brief Psychotherapy with the LatinoImmigrantClientbyMarleneD.deRios

Case Book of Brief PsychotherapywithCollege Students edited byStuart E. Cooper, James ArcherJr.,andLeightonC.Whitaker

Comparative Approaches in BriefDynamic Psychotherapy editedbyWilliamBorden

Education and Training in Solution-FocusedBriefTherapyeditedbyThoranaS.Nelson

Handbook of Solution-Focused BriefTherapy: Clinical ApplicationseditedbyThoranaS.NelsonandFrankN.Thomas

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: ItsEffectiveUse inAgencySettingsby Teri Pichot and Yvonne M.Dolan

The Therapists Notebook forFamilies: Solution-OrientedExercises for Working withParents, Children, andAdolescents by Bob BertolinoandGarySchultheis

MoreThanMiraclesTheStateoftheArt

ofSolution-FocusedBriefTherapy

StevedeShazerYvonneDolan

with

HarryKormanTerryTrepperEricMcCollumInsooKimBerg

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Identities and circumstances of individuals discussed inthisbookhavebeenchangedtoprotectconfidentiality.

Material fromWittgenstein, L. (1970), Wittgenstein:Zettel (trans. G.E.M. Anscombe & G. H. vonWright),Ed. G.E.M. Anscombe is reprinted by permission ofUniversityofCaliforniaPress.

CoverdesignbyJenniferM.Gaska.

LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationDataDeShazer,Steve.

Morethanmiracles:thestateoftheartofsolution-focusedbrieftherapy/StevedeShazer,YvonneDolan;withHarryKorman...[etal.].

p.;cm.Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.ISBN:978-0-7890-3397-0(case:alk.paper)ISBN:978-0-7890-3398-7(soft:alk.paper)1.Solution-focusedbrieftherapy.I.Dolan,YvonneM.,1951-II.Korman,Harry.III.Title.[DNLM:1.Psychotherapy,Briefmethods.2.ProblemSolving.WM420.5.P5D278m2007]

RC489.S65D382007616.8914dc222006035945

ThisbookisdedicatedtoStevedeShazerwithdeeprespect

CONTENTS

Preface

Chapter1.ABriefOverview

Chapter2.IFeelReallyConfused

Chapter3.TheMiracleQuestion

Chapter4.TheMiracleScale

Chapter5.TheFriendlyStomach

Discussion

Chapter6.DontThink,ButObserve

Chapter7.MyRealSelf

Chapter8.PrivateExperienceandtheVerbToBe

Chapter9.SFBTandEmotions

Chapter10.Questions,Misconceptions,andJoys

Conclusion

References

Index

AbouttheAuthors

Steven de Shazer, MSW, was co-developer of solution-focused brieftherapy. He published numerous journalarticles and five groundbreaking books:PatternsofBriefFamilyTherapy;KeystoSolution in Brief Therapy; Clues:Investigating Solutions in Brief Therapy;Putting Difference to Work; and WordsWere Originally Magic. His books havebeentranslatedinto14languages.HediedinSeptember2005inVienna.

Yvonne Dolan, MA, has published fivebooks and numerous articles and chapters

onsolution-focusedbrief therapy.Shehasbeen a psychotherapist for 30 years. Shelectures and teaches seminars around theworldonsolution-focusedbrieftherapy.

Harry Korman, MD, works in privatepracticeinMalm,Sweden,withfamilies,children, adults, and couples. Hesupervises and teaches solution-focusedtherapy in a number of areas within themental health field andparallel fields.Heworkedinchildandadultpsychiatryfor15years before entering into private practicein1996.He is a physician, a specialist inchild and adolescent psychiatry, a familytherapist, and a supervisor in familytherapy. He is the author of Snacka ommirakel (1994), available for free in anEnglishtranslationatwww.sikt.nu.

TerryS.Trepper,PhD,isDirectorofthe

Family Studies Center at PurdueUniversity Calumet, Professor ofpsychology,andProfessorofmarriageandfamily therapy.He is anAPAFellow, anAAMFT Clinical Member and ApprovedSupervisor, an AASECT Certified SexTherapist, and a Diplomate of theAmerican Board of Sexology. He is theeditor of the Journal of FamilyPsychotherapy, the editor in chief of TheHaworth Press Behavioral & SocialSciences book program, and co-author offive previous books. He maintains aprivatepracticeinfamilypsychology.

EricE.McCollum,PhD,LCSW,LMFT,is Professor and Clinical Director ofVirginia Techs Marriage and FamilyTherapy Program in Falls Church. Amentalhealthprofessionalfor30years,hehasbeeninvolvedinresearchandtraining

inthesubstanceabusefieldforthepast12years. Dr. McCollum, with Dr. TerryTrepper, is co-author ofFamily Solutionsfor Substance Abuse, a solution-focusedapproach to family therapy for substance-abusing adults and adolescents. With hiscolleaguesDr.SandraStithandDr.KarenRosen,hehasalsohelpeddevelopandtesta solution-focused couples treatmentmodelfordomesticviolence.

InsooKimBerg,MSW,is,alongwithherhusband, the late Steve de Shazer, theprimaryoriginaldeveloperofthesolution-focusedbrieftherapy(SFBT)approach.Aworld-renowned psychotherapist, lecturer,and author, she is Executive Director ofthe Brief Family Therapy Center (BFTC)in Milwaukee, and trains therapists allaroundtheworldintheSFBTapproach.Aprolificwriter,shehasauthorednumerous

articlesclarifyingtheSFapproach,and10previous groundbreaking bookselucidatingitsapplicationtoawidevarietyof clinical, social service, and othersettings. Her books, which have beentranslated into many languages, include,among others, Interviewing for Solutions;TalesofSolutions;FamilyBasedServices;SolutionsStepbyStep;ChildrensSolutionWork; and Brief Coaching for LastingSolutions.Berg serves on the editorial boards of

the Journal of Marital and FamilyTherapy, Family Psychology andCounseling Series, Families in Society,andFamilyProcess.Shewasafounderofthe Solution-Focused Brief TherapyAssociation, is a clinical member andapproved supervisor for the AmericanAssociation for Marriage & Family

Therapy, and is also active in theWisconsin Association for Marriage &FamilyTherapy, theNationalAssociationofSocialWorkers,andtheEuropeanBriefTherapyAssociation.

Preface

Warning: This book is intellectuallyprovocative. It will be difficult tothink of language, solution-focusedbrief therapy (SFBT), orpsychotherapy in the sameway afterreadingit.

The catalyst for More Than Miracles

was my longtime friend and mentor, thelate Steve de Shazer. He passed awayshortlyafteritscompletion.Soitisfittingtobeginbytellingyouabitabouthim.

AboutStevedeShazer

Aniconoclastandcreativegenius,Steve

de Shazer was known for his minimalistphilosophy, his view of the process ofchange as an inevitable and dynamic partof everyday life, and his observation thatsolutionsneednotnecessarilyberelatedtotheproblemstheyresolve.Beginning in the late1970s,alongwith

his wife, partner, and longtimecollaborator, Insoo Kim Berg, de Shazerdevotednearly30yearstodevelopingandconsistentlyrefiningtheapproachthathassubsequently become the internationallyrecognized solution-focused brief therapythatisthesubjectofthisbook.Helecturedaround the world while serving on theeditorial boards of several internationaljournals.In addition to countless chapters and

articles, de Shazer published five

groundbreaking books: Patterns of BriefFamilyTherapy,Keys toSolution inBriefTherapy,Clues: InvestigatingSolutions inBriefTherapy,PuttingDifferencetoWork,and Words Were Originally Magic. Hisbooks have been translated into 14languages. Co-founder of the MilwaukeeBriefFamilyTherapyCenter,heservedasits Director from 1978 to 1989 and asSeniorResearchAssociateforthefinal16yearsofhislife.AlthoughIstudiedwithStevedeShazer

for nearly 20 years, watching himinterview clients never ceased to be arevelatory experience. He did somethingthat sounds easy but is in fact verydifficult: He simultaneously demonstratedrespect and invited hope while usinglanguage carefully and intentionally. And(like his partner and wife, Insoo Kim

Berg),hemanagedtomakeitlookeasy.It probably seems obvious to label de

Shazers communication style asminimalistic because of the precise andcareful way he used words. However, Iwould describe the degree of attention,absorption, and disciplined focus withwhich he listened in a different way:generously respectful. He did not merelyassume the best about people; he didsomething much more difficult andinfinitelymore respectful:Hedeliberatelyrefrained from arbitrarily interpretingbehavior based upon assumptions ormaking assumptions based uponinterpretations.Watching de Shazers therapy sessions

repeatedlyovertheyears,myimpressionisthathewasverycomfortablewith silenceandveryskilledatusingittherapeutically.

Although SFBT is known for being afuture-orientedapproach that intentionallyfocuses on the surface of the problem,answeringStevesquestionscouldentailahighly detailed, very specifically focusedlifereview.Theclientandtherapistwouldpainstakingly comb through the clientsfull range of experiences in order tounearth, discover, or identify crucialexceptions (times when problems wereabsent or reduced) and significantresources thatwere necessary to solution-building.

AboutThisBookAlthough Steve de Shazer and I first

talked about writing this book in July2003, to my mind, it truly began a fewmonths later when some of us (Trepper,McCollum, Korman, and Dolan) asked

himforadetailedupdateofthesolution-focused brief therapy approach. Asseasoned solution-focused therapists, wewere curious about how thegroundbreaking ideas of Steves favoritephilosopher,LudwigWittgenstein,fitwiththe SFBT approach, andmore practicallyspeaking, howwe couldmake productiveuseoftheseideaswithclients,supervisees,and students. In the spirit of SFBT, ourgoalwaspractical:Wewanted tobecomebetteratourwork.Stevegraciouslyofferedtomeetwithus

informallyinanongoingmonthlyseminar.We were thrilled! We met in personwhenever we could, and far more oftenover the Internet. Insoo Kim Berggraciously contributed a tape of herworkalong with invaluable commentary, andmet with us whenever her busy schedule

permitted. Because he lives in Malm,Sweden,HarryKormanusuallymetwithus via videotape or e-mail. Our face-to-face meetings took place at our (myhusbandTerryTreppersandmy)homeinHammond,Indiana.Ourgroup(deShazer,Berg,McCollum,

Trepper, and Korman) spent hoursobserving therapy videotapes, and evenlonger discussing them with one another.Oftentimes these conversations wouldcontinue late into the evening while wevariously went onwalks, prepared dinner(whenwewere not working, Steve and Iwould go into the kitchen and cook),cleared off the table and washed thedishes, and later, sipped tea by thefireplace.Becausewekeptataperecordergoing much of the time, I was able totranscribe much of what went on during

these longconversationsandyouwill seethis reflected in the notes accompanyingthetherapytranscripts,andthroughoutthevariouschaptersofthisbook.Asyou read this book, youmaynotice

thatour(theauthors)voicesoccasionallyoverlap just as they would during realconversations. Rather than editing outdifferencesinstyle,weintentionallychoseto leave the original voices so that ourdiverse individual communication styleswouldbeasevidentastheywouldbeinareal-life seminar. This is reflected in thebrevityof somechapters andcomparativelength of others, the tone of varioussections, and, of course, in the choice ofwords.For example, those who have attended

ourworkshopswillbe likely to recognizede Shazers legendary spare, elegant

sentences andpithyhumor.Youwill alsohearBergswarmth,skillfulobservation,and respectful optimism, Kormansintellectual curiosity, Dolans practicality,Treppers vision, andMcCollums criticalthinking. However, to alleviateunnecessarydistraction,werefrainedfromdesignatingwhichofusisspeakingexceptincaseswhereitisspecificallyrelevanttothecontent.Andnowweinviteyoutopullupachairand joinus in thisunusualandcompelling seminar about the state of theartofSFBTanditspeculiarrelationshiptoWittgensteinian philosophy. Within thesepages, you will sit in on surprisingpsychotherapy sessions, eavesdrop on theauthors commentary, and occasionallyeven hear a few words from thephilosopherhimself.Letmeintroduceyoutoourgang,all

of whom are longtime friends andcolleagues. The bearded man wearing anIrish fishermans sweaterwho looks a bitlikeSeanConneryisStevedeShazer.Thelovely,petitewomansittingserenelyinthebig leather chair wearing a red jacket isInsoo Kim Berg, co-founder of theMilwaukee Brief Therapy Center,internationally acclaimed trainer, lecturer,andauthorofnumerousbooksandjournalarticlesonSFBT.Sittingontheothersideare Eric McCollum and Terry Trepper.Eric teaches at Virginia Tech in FallsChurch,Virginia,andTerryisDirectorofthe Family Studies Program at PurdueUniversity.Thepersonwearetalkingtoover the Internet via the computer in thecorner is Harry Korman, MD, childpsychiatrist, trainer, and supervisor insolution-focused brief therapy with a

particular interest in the kind of writingthatmakestheSFBTapproachmoreeasilylearnable. Oh, and the woman who justwalked in from the kitchen carrying thetrayfilledwithsteamingcupsofteaisme,Yvonne Dolan. You can tell that I amreally enjoying myself, watching therapyvideotapes and eating great foodsurrounded by several of my favoritefriendsandcolleagues,oneofwhomismyhusband,TerryTrepper.(AsIwritethis,Ifind myself feeling grateful that I canreturn once more to this seminar when Irereadthisbookinyearstocome.And,ofcourse,youwillalwaysbewelcometojoinme.)Ihopethatasyoureadthis,you,too,are

seatedinacomfortablechair,perhapsevenone that, like mine, has clearly beenaround for awhile. And finally, while

reading this, I particularly invite you (asSteve de Shazer often reminded uswhenever we were beginning a newendeavor)toHavefun!

Chapter1

ABriefOverview

Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT)isafuture-focused,goal-directedapproachto brief therapy developed initially byInsooKimBerg,StevedeShazer,andtheircolleagues and clients at the MilwaukeeBrief Family Therapy Center in the early

1980s. Developed inductively rather thandeductively,SFBTisahighlydisciplined,pragmatic approach rather than atheoreticalone(Berg&Miller,1992,Berg& Reuss, 1997; de Shazer, 1985, 1988,1991, 1994). The developers observedhundreds of hours of therapy over thecourse of years, carefully noting thequestions,behaviors,andemotionsthatledto clients conceptualizing and achievingviable,real-lifesolutions.The questions that proved to be most

consistently related to clients reports ofprogress and solutions were carefullynoted and painstakingly incorporated intothesolution-focusedapproach,whilethosethat did not were deliberately eliminated.Since then, the solution-focused brieftherapy approach has become one of theleadingschoolsofbrieftherapythroughout

theworld aswell as amajor influence insuch divergent fields as business, socialpolicy,andeducation.

MajorTenetsOfSfbtSFBT is not theory based, but was

pragmatically developed. One can clearlyseetherootsofSFBTintheearlyworkoftheMentalResearchInstituteinPaloAltoand of Milton H. Erickson; inWittgensteinian philosophy; and inBuddhist thought. There are a number oftenets that serve as the guidelines for thepracticeofSFBT,andthatbothinformandcharacterizethisapproach.

Ifitisntbroken,dontfixit.This is the overarching tenet of SFBT.

Theories, models, and philosophies of

interventionare irrelevant if theclienthasalready solved the problem. Nothingwouldseemmoreabsurdthantointerveneupon a situation that is already resolved.While this seemsobvious, in reality thereare some schools of psychotherapy thatwould encourage therapy in spite ofimprovementforexample,forgrowth,to solidify gains, or to get to deepermeanings and structures. SFBT isantitheticaltothese.Ifthereisnoproblem,thereshouldbenotherapy.

Ifitworks,domoreofit.Similar to the first tenet, this tenet

continues the handsoff approach. If aclient is in the process of solving aproblem, the therapists primary roleshould be to encourage the client to domore of what is already working. SFBT

therapists do not judge the quality of aclients solutions, onlywhether a solutioniseffective.Followingthis,anotherrelatedrole for the therapist is helping the clientmaintain desired changes. This isaccomplishedby learningexactlyhowtheclient behaved or responded differentlyduringperiodsofimprovement.Asaresultof identifying what worked, the client isabletorepeatthissuccessandthesolutionfurtherevolves.

Ifitsnotworking,dosomethingdifferent.Tocompletetheobviousfirstthree,this

tenet suggests that nomatter how good asolutionmightseem,ifitdoesnotworkitisnotasolution.Anoddrealityofhumannatureisthetendencytocontinuetotrytosolve problems by repeating the samethings that have not worked in the past.

This is especially true for psychotherapy,where many theories suggest that if theclient does not improve (i.e., solve theproblem), the fault rests with the clientrather than the therapy or the theory. InSFBT, however, if a client does notcomplete a homework suggestion orexperiment, the task is dropped, andsomethingdifferentisoffered.

Smallstepscanleadtobigchanges.SFBTcanbeunderstoodasaminimalist

approachinwhichsolutionconstructionistypicallyaccomplishedinaseriesofsmall,manageablesteps.Itisassumedthatonceasmallchangehasbeenmade,itwillleadtoa series of further changes,which in turnlead to others, gradually resulting in amuch larger systemic change withoutmajordisruption.Thus,smallstepstoward

making thingsbetter help the clientmovegradually and gracefully forward toaccomplish desired changes in their dailylifeandtosubsequentlybeabletodescribethings as better enough for therapy toend.

Thesolutionisnotnecessarilydirectlyrelatedtotheproblem.Whereas almost all other approaches to

change have problem-leading-to-solutionsequences, SFBT develops solutions byfirstelicitingadescriptionofwhatwillbedifferent when the problem is resolved.The therapist and the client then workbackward to accomplish this goal bycarefullyandthoroughlysearchingthroughtheclientsreal-lifeexperiencestoidentifytimeswhenportionsofthedesiredsolutiondescription already exist or could

potentiallyexistinthefuture.Thisleadstoamodel of therapy that spends very littleorevennotimeontheoriginsornatureofthe problem, the clients pathology, oranalysis of dysfunctional interactions.Whilethesefactorsmaybeinteresting,andpossibly could influence client behavior,SFBT focuses almost exclu-sively on thepresent and future. Viewed in this way,SFBTinvolvesa trueparadigmshiftfromothermodelsofpsychotherapy.

Thelanguageforsolutiondevelopmentisdifferentfromthatneededtodescribeaproblem.The language of problems tends to be

very different from that of solutions. AsLudwigWittgensteinputit,Theworldofthehappyisquiteanotherthanthatoftheunhappy(T,#6.43).Usuallyproblemtalk

is negative and past-history focused (todescribe the origins of the problem), andoften suggests the permanence of aproblem. The language of solutions,however,isusuallymorepositive,hopeful,and future-focused, and suggests thetransienceofproblems.

Noproblemshappenallthetime;therearealwaysexceptionsthatcanbeutilized.This tenet, following the notion of

problem transience, reflects the majorintervention that is used continuously inSFBT, that is, that people always displayexceptions to their problems, even smallones,and theseexceptionscanbeutilizedtomakesmallchanges.

Thefutureisbothcreatedandnegotiable.

Thistenetoffersapowerfulbasisforthepractice of SFBT. People are not seen aslocked into a set of behaviors based on ahistory, a social stratum, or apsychological diagnosis. With strongsocial constructionist support, this tenetsuggeststhatthefutureisahopefulplace,where people are the architects of theirowndestiny.SFBT has its roots in the systems

theorybasedfamilytherapiesofthe1950sand 1960s and the work of Milton H.Erickson (Haley, 1973). Both Insoo Bergand Steve de Shazer had strongconnections to the Mental ResearchInstitute of Palo Alto, California. Whilethe researchers at MRI focused primarilyon problem formation and problemresolution (Watzlawick, Weakland, &Fish, 1974), the Brief Family Therapy

Center in Milwaukee began exploringsolutions. For a number of reasons, thecurrent SFBT approach can be seen as asystemic therapy. First, SFBT therapistsroutinely treat systems because couplesand familiesas well as individualscome in for treatment. SFBT therapistsmake their decision on who to see in asessionbasedonwho showsup;whoeverwalksinthedoorisseen.Second,SFBTissystemic because the solutions that areexploredareinteractional,thatis,peoplesproblems and their exceptions involveother people, very often familymembers,colleaguesatwork,orrelationshippartnersand friends. Third, SFBT is systemicbecause once small changes begin tooccur, larger changes often follow, andthose larger changes are usuallyinteractionalandsystemic.

TheRoleOfTheTherapistThe role of the therapist in SFBT is

different than in many otherpsychotherapeutic approaches. SFBTtherapistsacceptthatthereisahierarchyinthe therapeutic arrangement, but thishierarchytendstobemoreegalitariananddemocratic than au-thoritarian.SFBTtherapists almost never pass judgmentsabout their clients, and avoidmaking anyinterpretations about themeanings behindtheir wants, needs, or behaviors. Thetherapists role is viewed as trying toexpand rather than limit options (Berg&Dolan, 2001). SFBT therapists lead thesession, but they do so in a gentle way,leading fromone stepbehind (Cantwell& Holmes, 1994, pp. 17-26). Instead ofinterpreting, cajoling, admonishing, or

pushing, the therapist taps on theshoulder of the client (Berg & Dolan,2001, p. 3), pointing out a differentdirectiontoconsider.

TherapeuticPrinciplesAndTechniques

MainInterventions

Apositive,collegial,solution-focusedstance.One of the most important aspects of

SFBT is thegeneral tenor and stance thatis taken by the therapist. The overallattitudeispositive,respectful,andhopeful.There is a general assumption that peoplehave within them strong resiliencies, and

canutilizethesetomakechanges.Further,thereisacorebeliefthatmostpeoplehavethe strength, wisdom, and experience toeffectchange.Whatothermodelsviewasresistance is viewed in SFBT as (a)peoplesnaturalprotectivemechanisms,orrealisticdesiretobecautiousandgoslow,or(b)atherapisterror,i.e.,aninterventionthat does not fit the clients situation.Allof these assumptions make for sessionsthat tend to feel collegial rather thanhierarchical (although as noted earlier,SFBT therapists do lead from behind),andcooperativeratherthanadversarial.

Lookingforprevioussolutions.SFBT therapistshave learned thatmost

peoplehavepreviouslysolvedmany,manyproblems. Thismay have been at anothertime,anotherplace,orinanothersituation.

The problem may have also come back.Thekeyisthatthepersonhadsolvedtheirproblem,evenifforashorttime.

Lookingforexceptions.Even when clients do not have a

previous solution that can be repeated,most have recent examples of exceptionsto their problem.An exception is thoughtofasa timewhenaproblemcouldoccur,but does not. The difference between aprevioussolutionandanexceptionissmallbut significant. A previous solution issomethingthatthefamilyhastriedontheirownthathasworked,butforsomereasonthey have not continued this successfulsolution,andprobably forgotabout it.Anexception is something that happensinsteadoftheproblem,usuallywithouttheclients intention or maybe even

understanding.

Questionsvs.directivesorinterpretations.Questions, of course, are an important

communication element of all models oftherapy. Therapists use questions oftenwith all approaches, especially whiletaking a history, checking in at thebeginningofasession,orfindingouthowa homework assignment went. SFBTtherapists, however, make questions theprimary communication tool, and as suchthey are an overarching intervention.SFBT therapists tend to make nointerpretations, and rarely make directchallengesorconfrontationstoaclient.

Present-andfuture-focusedquestionsvs.past-orientedfocus.

The questions that are asked by SFBTtherapistsarealmostalwaysfocusedonthepresent or on the future. This reflects thebasic belief that problems are best solvedby focusing on what is already working,andhowaclientwouldlikehisorherlifetobe,ratherthanfocusingonthepastandtheoriginofproblems.

Compliments.Compliments are another essential part

of SFBT. Validating what clients arealready doing well and acknowledginghowdifficulttheirproblemsareencouragethe client to change while giving themessage that the therapist has beenlistening (i.e., understands) and cares(Berg & Dolan, 2001). Compliments intherapy sessions can help to punctuatewhattheclientisdoingthatisworking.

Gentlenudgingtodomoreofwhatisworking.Once SFBT therapists have created a

positive frame via compliments and thendiscovered some previous solutions andexceptions to the problem, they gentlynudge the client to do more of what haspreviously worked, or to try changesbroughtupbytheclientfrequentlycalledan experiment. It is rare for an SFBTtherapist to make a suggestion orassignmentthatisnotbasedontheclientsprevious solutions or exceptions. It isalways best if change ideas andassignments emanate from the client, atleast indirectly during the conversation,rather thanfromthetherapist,becausetheclientisfamiliarwiththesebehaviors.

SpecificInterventions

Pre-sessionchange.At the beginning or early in the first

therapysession,SFBT therapists typicallyask What changes have you noticed thathave happened or started to happen sinceyou called to make the appointment forthis session? This question has threepossibleanswers.First, theclientmaysaythatnothinghashappened.Inthiscase,thetherapist simply goes on and begins thesession by asking something like: Howcan I be helpful to you today, or Whatwouldneedtohappentodaytomakethisareallyusefulsession?The second possible answer is that

thingshavestartedtochangeorgetbetter.In this case, the therapist asks manyquestions about the changes that have

started, requesting a lot of detail. Thisstarts the process of solution-talk,emphasizes the clients strengths andresilienciesfromthebeginning,andallowsthe therapist to ask: So if these changeswere to continue in this direction, wouldthis be what you would like? thusoffering the beginning of a concrete,positive,andchangeorientedgoal.The thirdpossibleanswer is that things

areaboutthesame.Thetherapistcouldasksomething like: Is this unusual, thatthings have not gotten worse? or Howhaveyouallmanagedtokeepthingsfromgettingworse?Thesequestionsmay leadto information about previous solutionsandexceptions,andmaymovethemintoasolution-talkmode.

Solution-focusedgoals.

As in many models of psychotherapy,clear, concrete, and specific goals are animportantcomponentofSFBT.Wheneverpossible,thetherapisttriestoelicitsmallergoals rather than larger ones. Moreimportant,clientsareencouragedtoframetheir goals as a solution, rather than theabsence of a problem. For example, it isbettertohaveasagoalWewantoursontotalknicertouswhichwouldneedtobedescribed ingreaterdetailrather thanWewould like our child to not curse atus.Also,ifagoalisdescribedintermsofits solution, it can be more easily scaled(seebelow).

Miraclequestion.Someclientshavedifficultyarticulating

any goal at all, much less a solution-focused goal. This is particularly true for

multiproblemfamilies,orclientsforwhomthe problem is so severe, they feel thateven the description of a goal somehowminimizes the magnitude of the problemand how overwhelming it feels. Themiracle question is a way to ask for aclientsgoalthatcommunicatesrespectforthe immensity of the problem, yet at thesame time leads to the client coming upwithsmaller,moremanageablegoals.Thepreciselanguageoftheintervention

mayvary,butthebasicwordingis:

Iamgoingtoaskyouaratherstrangequestion [pause]. The strangequestion is this: [pause] After wetalk, you will go back to your work(home, school) and you will dowhatever you need to do the rest oftoday, such as taking care of thechildren, cooking dinner, watching

TV,givingthechildrenabath,andsoon. Itwillbecometime togo tobed.Everybodyinyourhouseholdisquiet,andyouaresleeping inpeace. In themiddle of the night, a miraclehappens and the problem thatprompted you to talk tome today issolved! But because this happenswhile you are sleeping, you have noway of knowing that there was anovernight miracle that solved theproblem[pause].So,whenyouwakeuptomorrowmorning,whatmightbethe small change thatwillmake yousay to yourself, Wow, somethingmusthavehappenedtheproblem isgone!(Berg&Dolan,2001,p.7)

Clients have a number of reactions to

the question. They may seem puzzled.Theymaysaytheydontunderstand.They

may smile. Usually, however, givenenough time to ponder it, they come upwithsomeveryspecific things thatwouldbedifferentwhen theirproblemissolved.The responses they give can then usuallybe takenas thegoalsof therapy.Assuch,their answers lead to a more detaileddescription of how they would like theirlifetobe,whichinturncanhelpelucidatetheirprevioussolutionsandexceptions.In therapy with couples, families, or

work groups, themiracle question can beasked to individuals or to the group as awhole. If asked to individual members,eachonewouldgivehisorherresponsetothe question, and othersmight react to it.Thetherapistwouldtrytoelicitsupportforeachmembersmiracle. If the question isaskedtothecouple,family,orworkgroupasawhole,membersmayworkontheir

miracle together. The SFBT therapist, intrying to maintain a collaborative stanceamongfamilymembers,punctuatessimilargoals and supportive statements amongfamilymembers.(Seesubsequentchaptersfor more details about the miraclequestionanditsuse.)

Scalingquestions.Whether the client gives specific goals

directly or via the miracle question, animportant next intervention in SFBT is toscale each goal. The therapist asks themiracle questions scale: From 0-10 orfrom 1-10, where things were when theinitial appointment was arranged, wherethingsarenow,andwheretheywillbeonthedayafterthemiracle,i.e.,whentherapyissuccessful.Forexample,withacouplefor whom better communication is the

goal:

THERAPIST:WhatIwanttodonowis scale the problem and the goal.Lets say a 1 is as bad as theproblem ever could be, you nevertalk,onlyfight,oravoideachotherall the time.And lets say a 10 iswhere you talk all the time, withperfectcommunication,neverhaveafightever.

HUSBAND:Thatisprettyunrealistic.THERAPIST: That would be theideal.Sowherewouldyoutwosayitwasforyouat itsworst?Mayberightbeforeyoucameintoseeme.

WIFE: It was pretty bad I dontknowIdsaya2ora3.

HUSBAND:Yeah,Idsaya2.THERAPIST:Okay[writing]a2-3 for you, and a 2 for you. Now,

tellmewhatyouwouldbesatisfiedwith when therapy is over andsuccessful?

WIFE:Idbehappywithan8.HUSBAND:Well, of course Id likea 10, but that is unrealistic.Yeah,Idagree,an8wouldbegood.

THERAPIST:Whatwouldyousayitisrightnow?

WIFE:Iwouldsayitisalittlebetter,becauseheiscomingherewithme,andIseethatheistryingIdsaymaybea4?

HUSBAND:Well,thatsnicetohear.Iwouldnt have thought shed putitthathigh.Iwouldsayitisa5.

THERAPIST:Okay,a4 foryou,a5foryou.Andyoubothwantittobean 8 for therapy to be successful,right?

Therearetwomajorcomponentsofthis

intervention.First, it is a solution-focusedassessmentdevice, that is, if used at eachsession, the therapist and the clients haveanongoingmeasurementoftheirprogress.Second,itisapowerfulinterventioninandof itself,because itallows the therapist tofocus on previous solutions andexceptions,and topunctuatenewchangesas they occur.Aswith the changesmadebefore the first session, there are threethings that can happen between eachsession:(1)thingscangetbetter;(2)thingscan stay the same; (3) things can getworse.If the scale goes up, and things get

better from one session to the next, thetherapist compliments the clients, thensolicits extensive details describing howthe clients were able to make such

changes. This not only supports andsolidifies the changes, but leads to theobvious nudge to domore of the same.Ifthingsstaythesame,again,theclientscanbecomplimentedformaintainingtheirchanges, or for not letting things getworse. How did you keep it from goingdown? the therapist might ask. It isinteresting how often this question willleadtoadescriptionofchangestheclientshave made, in which case again thetherapist can compliment and support andencouragemoreofthatchange.

THERAPIST: Mary, last week youwere a 4 on the scale of goodcommunications. I am wonderingwhereyouarethisweek?

WIFE:[Pauses.]Idsaya5.THERAPIST:A 5!Wow!Really, injustoneweek.

WIFE:Yes,Ithinkwecommunicatedbetterthisweek.

THERAPIST: How did youcommunicatebetterthisweek?

WIFE:Well, I think itwasRich.Heseemed to try to listen tomemorethisweek.

THERAPIST: Thats great. Can yougive me an example of when helistenedtoyoumore?

WIFE: Well, yes, yesterday forexample.Heusuallycallsmeonceadayatwork,and

THERAPIST: Sorry to interrupt, butdid you say he calls you once aday?Atwork?

WIFE:Yes.THERAPIST: Im just a littlesurprised,becausenotallhusbandscalltheirwiveseveryday.

WIFE:Hehasalwaysdonethat.THERAPIST: Is that something youlike?That youwouldntwant himtochange?

WIFE:Yes,forsure.THERAPIST:Sorry,goon,youweretellingmeaboutyesterdaywhenhecalled.

WIFE: Well, usually it is kind of aquick call. But I told him aboutsome problems I was having, andhelistenedforalongtime,seemedtocare,gavemesomegood ideas.Thatwasnice.

THERAPIST:Sothatwasanexampleof how you would like it to be,where you can talk aboutsomething, a problem, and helistens and gives good ideas?Support?

WIFE:Yes.THERAPIST: Rich, did you knowthat Mary liked your calling herand listening to her? That thatmade you twomove up the scale,toher?

HUSBAND:Yeah,Iguessso.Ihavereallybeentryingthisweek.

THERAPIST:Thatsgreat.Whatelsehave you done to try to make thecommunicationbetterthisweek?

Thisexampleshowshowgoingoverthe

scale with the couple served as a vehiclefor finding the clients progress. Thetherapist gathered more and moreinformation about the small changes theclientshadmadeon theirown, that led toan improvement on the scale.Thiswouldnaturally lead to the therapist suggestingthat the couple continue to do the things

that are working, in this case for thehusband to continue calling her, andcontinue to engage in the active listeningthatshefoundsohelpful.(Seesubsequentchapters for more details about scalingquestions.)

Constructingsolutionsandexceptions.TheSFBT therapist spendsmostof the

session listening attentively for signs ofprevious solutions, exceptions, and goals.When these come out, the therapistpunctuates them with enthusiasm andsupport.The therapist thenworks to keepthe solution-talk in the forefront. This, ofcourse,requiresawholerangeofdifferentskills than those used in traditionalproblem-focused therapies. Whereas theproblem-focused therapist is concernedwithmissingsignsofwhathascausedoris

maintainingaproblem,theSFBTtherapistis concerned with missing signs ofprogressandsolution.

MOTHER: She always just ignoresme, acts like Imnot there, comeshome from school, just runs intoher room;who knowswhat she isdoinginthere.

DAUGHTER: You say we fight allthetime,soIjustgoinmyroomsowedontfight.

MOTHER: See? She admits she justtriestoavoidme.Idontknowwhyshecant just comehomeand talkto me a little about school orsomething,likesheusedto.

THERAPIST: Wait a second, whendid she use to?Anita,when didyou used to come home and tellyourmomaboutschool?

DAUGHTER: I did that a lot; lastsemesterIdid.

THERAPIST: Can you give me anexample of the last time you didthat?

MOTHER: I can tell you, itwas lastweek,actually.Shewasallexcitedabout her science project gettingchosen.

THERAPIST: Tell me more, whatdaywasthat?

MOTHER:IthinklastWednesday.THERAPIST:AndshecamehomeMOTHER: She came home allexcited.

THERAPIST:Whatwereyoudoing?MOTHER: I think the usual, I wasgettingdinnerready.Andshecameinallexcited,andIaskedherwhatwasup,andshetoldmeherscience

projectwas chosen for the displayatschool.

THERAPIST:Wow, that is quite anhonor.

MOTHER:Itis.THERAPIST: So then whathappened?

MOTHER:Well, we talked about it;shetoldmeallaboutit.

THERAPIST: Anita, do yourememberthis?

DAUGHTER: Sure, it was only lastweek.Iwasprettyhappy.

THERAPIST: And would you saythatthiswasanicetalk,anicetalkbetweenyoutwo?

DAUGHTER: Sure. Thats what Imean; I dont always go in myroom.

THERAPIST: Was there anything

differentaboutthattime,lastweek,that made it easier to talk to eachother?

MOTHER:Well,shewasexcited.DAUGHTER: My mom listened,wasntdoinganythingelse.

THERAPIST: Wow, this is a greatexample, thank you. Let me askthis,ifitwerelikethatmoreoften,where Anita talked to you aboutthings that were interesting andimportant toher, andwhereMom,you listened to her completelywithout doing other things, is thatwhat you two mean by bettercommunication?

DAUGHTER:Yeah,exactly.MOTHER:Yes.

In this example, the therapist did a

number of things. First, she listened

carefullyforanexceptiontotheproblem,atime when the problem could havehappened but it did not. Second, shepunctuated that exception by repeating it,emphasizing it,gettingmoredetailsaboutit, and congratulating them on it. Third,she connected the exception to their goal(ormiracle)byaskingthequestion:Ifthisexceptionweretooccurmoreoften,wouldyourgoalbereached?

Copingquestions.Ifaclientreportsthattheproblemisnot

better, the therapist may sometimes askcoping questions, such as, for example,How have you managed to prevent itfromgettingworse?orThissoundshardhowareyoumanagingtocopewiththistothedegreethatyouare?

IsthereanythingIforgottoask?Before taking a break and reconvening

or alternatively, sometime during thesession, the therapist asks the client, IsthereanythingIforgottoask?orIstheresomethingelseIneedtoknow?

Takingabreakandreconvening.Many models of family therapy have

encouraged therapists to take a breaktowardtheendofthesession.Usuallythisinvolves a conversation between thetherapist and a team of colleagues or asupervisionteamwhohavebeenwatchingthe session and who give feedback andsuggestions to the therapist. In SFBT,therapists are also encouraged to take abreak near the session end. If there is ateam, they give the therapist feedback, a

list of compliments for the family, andsome suggestions for interventions basedon the clients strengths, previoussolutions,orexceptions.Ifthereisanotateamavailable, the therapistwill still takeabreak tocollecthisorher thoughts,andthencomeupwithcomplimentsandideasfor possible experiments. When thetherapist returns to the session, he or shecanofferthefamilycompliments.

THERAPIST: I just wanted to tellyou,theteamwasreallyimpressedwith you two this week. Theywantedme to tell you that,Mom,they thought you really seem tocarealotaboutyourdaughter.Itisreally hard to be amom, and youseem so focused, and clear howmuch you love her and how youwant to help her. They were

impressed that you came to thesessiontoday,inspiteofworkandhavingasickchildathome.Anita,the team also wanted tocompliment you on yourcommitment tomaking the familybetter.Theywantedme to tellyouhowbrightandarticulatetheythinkyou are, and what a goodscientist you are! Yes, that youseem to be really aware of whatsmall, little things that happen inyour family might make adifference That is whatscientists do, they observe thingsthat seem to change things, nomatter how small. Anyway, theywereimpressedwithyoutwoalot!

DAUGHTER: [Seeming pleased.]Wow,thanks!

Experimentsandhomeworkassignments.While many models of psychotherapy

useintersessionhomeworkassignmentstosolidify changes begun during therapy,mostofthetimethehomeworkisassignedby the therapist. In SFBT, therapistsfrequentlyendthesessionbysuggestingapossible experiment for the client to trybetweensessions if theysochoose.Theseexperiments are based on something theclient is already doing (exceptions),thinking,feeling,etc.thatisheadingthemin the direction of their goal.Alternately,homework is sometimes designed by theclient. Both approaches follow the basicphilosophy that what emanates from theclientisbetterthanifitweretocomefromthe therapist.This is true foranumberof

reasons. First, what is suggested by theclient, directly or indirectly, is familiar.Oneof themainreasonshomeworkisnotcompleted in other models is that it isforeign to the family, thus it takes morethinking andwork to accomplish (usuallythoughtofasresistance).Second,clientsusually assign themselves either more ofwhat has worked already for them (aprevioussolution)orsomethingtheyreallywanttodo.Inbothcases,thehomeworkismoretiedtotheirowngoalsandsolutions.Third, creating their own homeworkassignments reduces clients naturaltendency to resist outside intervention,no matter how good the intention.WhileSFBTdoesnotfocusonresistance(and,infact, views this phenomenon as a natural,protectiveprocessthatpeopleusetomoveslowly and cautiously into change rather

than as evidence of psychopathology),certainly when clients initiate their ownhomework, there isagreater likelihoodofsuccess.

THERAPIST:Beforeweendtoday,Iwould like for you two to thinkabout a homework assignment. Ifyou were to give yourselves ahomework assignment this week,whatwoulditbe?

DAUGHTER: Maybe that we talkmore?

THERAPIST:Canyoutellmemore?DAUGHTER:Well, that I try to talkto her more when I come homefrom school. And that she stopswhatsheisdoingandlistens.

THERAPIST: I like that. You knowwhy? Because it is what you twowere starting to do last week.

Mom,whatdoyouthink?Isthatagoodhomeworkassignment?

MOTHER:Yeah,thatsgood.THERAPIST: So lets make thisclear.Anitawill try to talk to youmorewhen she comes home fromschool. And you will put downwhatyouaredoing,ifyoucan,andlisten and talk to her about whatshe is talking to you about.Anythingelse?Anythingyouwanttoadd?

MOTHER: No, thats good. I justneed to stop what I was doing; Ithinkitisimportanttolistentoher.

THERAPIST:Well,thatsureseemedto work for you two last week.Okay, so thats the assignment.Wellseehowitwentnexttime.

A couple of points should be

emphasized here: First, the mother anddaughter were asked to make their ownassignment rather than have one imposedon them by the therapist. Second, whattheyassigned themselves flowednaturallyfrom their previous solution andexceptions from the week before. This isverycommonandisencouragedbySFBTtherapists. However, even if the clientssuggested an assignment that was notbased on solutions and exceptions to theproblem, the therapist would most likelysupport it.What is preeminent is that theassignmentscomefromtheclients.

So,whatisbetter,evenalittlebit,sincethelasttimewemet?Atthestartofeachsessionafterthefirst

one the therapist will usually ask aboutprogress, about what has been better

during the interval. Many clients willreport that there have been somenoticeable improvements. The therapistwillhelptheclientdescribethesechangesin as much detail as possible. Of coursesome clients will report that things haveremainedthesameorhavebecomeworse.Thiswillleadthetherapisttoexplorehowtheclienthasmanagedtokeepthingsfrombecoming worse, or, if worse, what theclientdidtopreventthingsfrombecomingmuchworse.Whatevertheclienthasdonetopreventthingsforworseningisthenthefocus and a source for compliments andperhaps for an experiment, becausewhatever they did they should continuedoing. During the session, usually afterthere has been a lot of talk aboutwhat isbetter, the therapist will ask the client torate himself or herself on the progress

(toward solution) scale. Of course whenthe rating is higher than the previoussessions, the therapist will complimentthisprogressandhelptheclientfigureouthowtomaintaintheimprovement.At some point during the session

possiblyat thebeginning,perhaps later inthe sessionthe therapist will check,frequently indirectly, on how theassignment went. If the client did theassignment, and it workedthat is, ithelped the client move toward his or hergoalsthe therapist will offer acompliment. If the client did not do theassignment, the therapist usually drops it,or asks what was done instead that wasbetter.OnedifferencebetweenSFBTandother

homework-driven models, such ascognitive-behavioral therapy, is that the

homeworkitselfisnotrequiredforchangeperse,sonotcompletinganassignmentisnot addressed. If the client does notcompleteanassignmentitisassumedthat:(a)somethingrealisticgotinthewayofitscompletion,suchasworkorillness;(b)theclient did not find the assignment useful;(c)theassignmentwasnotrelevantduringtheintervalbetweensessions.Inanycase,there isnofaultassigned.If theclientdidtheassignmentbutthingsdidnotimproveorbecameworse,thetherapisthandlesthisin the same way he or she would whenproblems stay the same or becomeworseingeneral.

TreatmentApplicabilitySolution-focused therapy is one of the

most popular and widely used models oftherapy in the world. Because it is based

on the concept of resiliency, and onclients own previous solutions andexceptions to their own problems, it isapplicable toallproblems,andindeedhasbeenapplied toawide rangeofproblemsseen by clinicians. These include familytherapy (McCollum & Trepper, 2001);couples therapy (Weiner-Davis, 1993);treatment of sexual abuse (Dolan, 1991);treatment of substance abuse (Berg &Miller,1992;deShazer&Isebaert,2003);and treatment of schizophrenia (Eakes,Walsh, Markowski, Cain, & Swanson,1997). There have been self-help bookswritten from a solution-focusedperspective (Dolan, 1998), and thesolution-focused approach has beenapplied beyond traditional psychotherapypractice to include interventions in socialservice agencies (Pichot & Dolan, 2003),

educational settings and model schools(Rhodes & Ajmal, 2001), and businesssystems(Caufman,2001).

ResearchOnTheEffectivenessOfSolution-FocusedBriefTherapy

ConsideringthewideuseofSFBT,both

in clinical practice and in other socialsystems, it is unfortunate that moreempiricalresearchhasnotbeendoneonitseffectiveness.Inthemostthoroughreviewto date, Gingerich and Eisengart (2000)review 15 empirical studies on SFBTeffectiveness.Ofthefivestudiesthatwereconsidered well-controlled, four werefound to be superior to no treatment ortreatment as usual; the fifthwas found tobe equal to a known intervention,interpersonal psychotherapy for

depression.Thefindingsfortheremainingten studies,whichwerenot considered aswell-controlled or which hadmethodological problems, all supportSFBTs effectiveness. Gingerich andEisengartconclude that,while this reviewprovides preliminary support for SFBTseffectiveness, more and bettercontrolledstudiesarenecessary.

SummarySFBT is a paradigm shift from the

traditional psychotherapy focus onproblemformationandproblemresolutionthat underlies almost all psychotherapyapproaches since Freud. Instead, SFBTdraws upon clients strengths andresiliencies by focusing on their ownprevious or conceptualized solutions andexceptions to their problems, and then,

through a series of interventions,encouragingtheclientstodomoreofthosebehaviors. SFBT can be applied to amyriadof family-relatedproblems.SFBT,while deceptively easy to learn, like alltherapies, requires great skill to reach alevelofproficiency.WhilethepreliminaryresearchontheeffectivenessofSFBThasbeen positive, clearly more research,especiallyclinicaltrialstudies,areneeded.

Chapter2

IFeelReallyConfused

The client, Margaret, is an attractiveyoungwomaninherearly20s.ThepersonshereferstoasHarryisHarryKorman,MD,Margaretsprimarytherapist.YvonneDolan is the consulting therapist in thissession.

YVONNE: I really appreciate youseeing me. You dont even knowme.

MARGARET:[Laughs.]YVONNE: What would need tohappenheresothatwhenyouleaveyou could say it was worth yourtime, the timeyou spent that itwasworthwhileforyou?

MARGARET: I appreciate Harry alot because he makes me thinkmyself, you know. Do youunderstandwhatImean?

YVONNE:Ithinkso.MARGARET: Yeah. And, I think Iget a little bit farther along everytime I see him because its justOh, okay, maybe I have to thinkaboutthatandthat.

YVONNE:So seeingHarrymakes a

difference?MARGARET:Yeah,Ithinkso.YVONNE:Woulditbehelpfulifwespent this session talking abouthow seeing Harry makes adifference?

MARGARET:Well, ah,maybe Idontknowifthatsnecessary.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.Mmm-hmm.So letmesee if Iunderstand.Um,whenIaskedyou,youknow,whatwould be useful, you said that itshelpfulforyouwhenyouthinkforyourself.Thatsagoodthing.

MARGARET:Yeah.Yeah.YVONNE:So,attheendofourtime,yourewalking out the door.Howwould we have spent the time sothatyoudbeable to say, Well, Igotsomethingfromit?

MARGARET:[Laughs.]Yeah.Rightnow I think I need help how Ishould handle a situation Im inrightnow.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET: And, I feel reallyconfused.Idontknowwhattodo.

AsWittgensteinputsit:Aproblemhasthe form: I dont know my way about(PI,#123).Theconversationsimplyputseverythingbeforeus,andneitherexplainsnor deduces anythingsince everythinglies open to view there is nothing toexplain(PI,#126).

YVONNE: Mmm-hmm. So youmight have an idea about how tohandleit?

Right from the beginning of thissession, the therapist respondsprimarily with questions. Is a relianceon questions fundamental to the SFBTapproach or a matter of personalstyle? Would it be possible to do SFBTwell without relying on questions?

What is really important here is whatthe client says in response to thetherapists questions. Watching InsooKim Berg, Steve de Shazer, LucIsebaert, Yvonne Dolan, and others,questions seem to be very much partof the approach. Of course, if thesekinds of client responses can bedeveloped without questions, thatwould be great.

MARGARET: Uh, hmm. I dontknowreally.IdontknowifHarry

toldyou

In order to be useful, a techniqueneeds to go through the filter of thattherapists immediate experience inthat room, and of course theirpersonality and background, so that itbecomes a highly personalized,meaningful response to the person atthat exact moment in the session, notjust the session in general, but thatexact moment. How do you do this?

You have to use the clients exactwords as much as possible, and focuson only what he has already told you.

YVONNE:No,no.MARGARET:anything aboutmeor

YVONNE:Well,whatIpreferredMARGARET:Yeah.

YVONNE:wastojustaskyou.MARGARET:Okay.YVONNE: So he would have beenwillingto,Isuppose

MARGARET:[Laughs.]YVONNE: if he had yourpermission. but I thought I wouldaskyou

MARGARET:Okay.Okay.YVONNE: what needed tohappen?Andso,ifyouandIdidagoodjobtodaywhenyouleave,you would have perhaps an ideaaboutthissituationthatwasuseful?

MARGARET:Yeah.Yeah.YVONNE: Well please tell mewhatIneedtoknowinordertobehelpful to the degree yourecomfortable because I know youdontknowme.

MARGARET:[Laughs.]YVONNE: To the degree yourecomfortabledoingthat.

MARGARET:Yeah.Okay.Um. Imnot sogoodatEnglish,butmaybe

YVONNE: Oh, Margaret, I thinkyoure very good at English. MySwedish and my Danish arenonexistent! So the fact that youspeak any English, Im veryimpressed.

MARGARET:Okay.YVONNE: How did you learnEnglish,bytheway?

MARGARET:Uh,first inschoolbutthenIvebeentravelingalittlebit,so

YVONNE:Where?MARGARET:IvebeeninAustralia.

About history-taking, oftentimesbeginning students dont realize thatwhat clients dont talk about is just asimportant a source of information aswhat they do talk about. How doessomeone teach a student to listen towhat is missing? A not-knowing stancehelps people learn this. Furthermore, ithelps to know about childdevelopment, life experience. Forexample, how a mother talks about ababy tells a lot about the bondbetween them.

YVONNE:Oh,mygoodness.MARGARET: Asia, U.S.A., NewZealand.

YVONNE: Wow. No wonder. Doyouliketotravel?

MARGARET: I do understand

[English].Yeah,Ido.YVONNE:Wow.MARGARET: Okay, so I will try. Ihadthisrelationshipwithaguyforthreeyearsandwewerebothdrugaddicts.

YVONNE:Hmm.MARGARET:Yeah.Anditwasalotoffightsanditwasreallynoteasytolivewithhim.SoinApril,Iwenttothisfamilywhoworkswithdrugaddictsand

YVONNE:Oh.MARGARET: people withproblems.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.Howdidyoudecidetodothat?

MARGARET:Oh,firstofall,IallmydayswasjustIwassoafraidfor everything and I used a lot of

drugs.YVONNE: So you decided to takesomeaction,togotothisfamily?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: Wow. And that was inApril?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: Hmm. So you took astep?

MARGARET:Yeah.Yeah.YVONNE:Hmm.MARGARET: And I also left thisman.

YVONNE:AlsoinApril?MARGARET:Yeah.Yeah.But nowmy problem is I cant forget himand[sighs]andIhavehadcontactwithhimonthephoneagain.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:And the family I live

withdoesntknowthat.

She is living with this family and sheis lying to them, and is in danger ofgoing back to this guy with whom sheused drugs and who abused her, andyet you do not confront this directly?

In fact, I was horrified at the dangerof her going back, but because I haveworked with addicts I know that takinga moral high ground and confrontingher, e.g., How do you think this wouldmake your family feel if they knew youwere lying to them, is not going to behelpful in motivating her to resist thetemptation to use drugs and fall backinto an abusive relationship. Instead, Igo on to ask her a series of questions,and in her answers she subsequentlyproceeds to deliver her own self-motivating lecture about the reasons itwould not be good for her to return to

the abusive boyfriend or to usingdrugs. Asking clients in situations suchas this what someone else who caresabout her would say allows her byanswering to put the concerns into herown words and thereby make themmuch more appropriate and effectivethan a lecture to her.

YVONNE:Hmm.MARGARET: And its a really bigproblemformebecauseImafraidthatIwillgobacktohimandthenI then I dont know if it willworkout.

YVONNE: So, um, help meunderstand this. So youre afraidyou will go back to him and youdontknowifitwillworkoutwithhimorwiththefamilyorforyouor?

MARGARET:Um.[Laughs.]Iguessfor me. But also, I will hurt myfamilyalot.Iknowthateverybodyis so afraid that I will go back tohim.

YVONNE:Sothisfamilyreallycaresaboutyou?

MARGARET:Yeah.Yeah.YVONNE: Oh. And, I guess iftheyre afraid, itwouldmean theydontwantanythingbadtohappentoyou?

Instead of implying that she is a badperson for being tempted to go back,the therapist emphasizes the fact thatshe has managed in the past to makegood decisions and so presumably hasthe potential to do so again.

MARGARET:Yeah,thatsright.YVONNE:Wow.Howlonghaveyouknownthisfamily?JustsinceAprilorbefore?

MARGARET: No, um, I knew theRowsonssinceIwasbornbecauseshes a friend of my dads. Wedidnthavewehadntthiscontactforalltheseyears.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:So, these arepeoplewhocareaboutyou.

MARGARET: Yeah, and I have myfather and my mom. And I thinktheywillbereally,reallysadifIgoback.

YVONNE: What do you think theywouldbesadabout?

MARGARET:Well,um,firstofall,I

think they just really dont thinkhesgoodforme.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:Andhebeatme.YVONNE:OhmyGod.MARGARET: Yep. And my fatheralso lives in [nameof town] sohereally tried to have a conversationwithPaul.

YVONNE:Isee.MARGARET:Yeah.Andhe tried tohelpus,butdidntworkout.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:And I think in a wayheslikeadrugforme.IcantIcantstopthinkingofhim.

Wittgenstein reminds us that a feelingdescribed as like a drug for me andthinking are each an inner process

[that] stand in need of outward criteria(PI, #580) and now the question aroundfeelings and thoughts is How is thismanifestedinbehavior(PI,#579)?Butthe inner is hidden from meisnt thatjust as vague as the concept of inner?(For just consider: the inner after all issensations+thought+images+mood+intention,andsoon)(LWPP,#959).

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET: Even though I knowthatthisisnotgood.

YVONNE: Mmm-hmm. So, you you say you know its not good.You decided its not good to bewith him and yet you want to bewithhim?

MARGARET: Yep. I think I stillhope that itwillwork out, that he

willchangeandYVONNE: So let me see if Iunderstand this: In April, I meanyou did two really big things itseemslike.Youmoved

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE: in with this family.You left themanwhowasbeatingyou.

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: What about drugs? Didyouchangethat,too?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Howdidyoudoit?MARGARET: Well, I guess I justdecidedthatthisisithastohaveastop.ItwaslikeIchosenotusingdrugsatallorjustIknewthatIwoulddie

YVONNE:Wow.

MARGARET:ifIgoonlikethis.So

YVONNE: So you really youthoughtyoucoulddie?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: Did that make adifference?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Uh-huh.MARGARET:BeforeIdbeenreally,reallyillandandverythin.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:Yeah.ButIdidntcaremuch then just like It doesntmatter.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.Mmm-hmm.Howd you get from there to, youknow,realizingyoudidntwant todie?

MARGARET: Oh, well, I had my

parents and I had a lot of friends(about) who I always felt like: Itdoesnt matter for them becauseIm just a big problem. But, Irealized that they really cared.Theyreallylovedme.

YVONNE: And you really realizedthat?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: How did that feelingcomethroughforyousoyouknewthat?

MARGARET: Um. Because theynevergaveup.

YVONNE:Wow.MARGARET: Yeah. They werealwaysthere.

YVONNE: So you could just becausetheywerethere,youknewsomehow?

MARGARET:Yeah,theycaredalot.YVONNE: Im very interestedbecauseyousayheskindoflikeadrug.

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE:Hows he like a drug foryou?

Why did you ask her this? It wouldseem you are asking her about theproblem?

She has told me she wants tounderstand her situation so as to makea decision, and I am trying to befaithful to this goal she has set byhelping her clarify what she thinksabout the situation. A propo ofWittgenstein, I want to be faithful tounderstanding what she knowsIwant to understand and I want her tounderstand what she already knowsabout this situation by exploring the

details. For example, when someonesays He is like a drug for me, it couldmean many different things fordifferent clients. A word carries a haloof meaning, as Wittgenstein says, andthere is a danger of making falseassumptions based upon what wethink the other person means. There isa danger in assuming we know whatthe client means when very likely wedo not. For example, like a drugmight suggest a high. But in hercase, he is like a drug that renders herincompetent. Such a simple sentence.

Furthermore, asking her how he is adrug for her allows her to make a casefor why she should not go back to him.

MARGARET: Um. Well, when weweretogetherIwasIdidntthinkthatIcoulddoanythingbymyself.

YVONNE:Thatmakessense.

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:How did you find awayto break away? Thats prettyincredible.Yougaveuptwothingsat the same time, it sounds like.BothinApril?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: Drugs and yourrelationship.

MARGARET: Iactuallywent to thisfamilylastyearalso.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:And Idecided then tostopwith the drugs because Iwasinthehospital.Myheartstopped.

YVONNE:OhmyGod.MARGARET:Thatwas for the fifthtime.

YVONNE:Oh!MARGARET:AndIdecided

YVONNE:Yes?MARGARET: okay, I have tostop.But,IstillhadPaulwithme.So,Idecidedtogobacktohimandthenafter just a coupleofweeks Istartedwiththedrugsagain.

YVONNE:Hmm.MARGARET:SoYVONNE: Is that why you worriedaboutgoingbacktohim?

MARGARET: I dont know really.BecauseIhadthishopethatIknowthathesnotondrugsnow.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET: And, I think maybethat we could, could have arelationshipwithoutdrugs.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET: But Im afraid that Iwont use my own head anymore

andYVONNE:Mmm-hmm.Mmm-hmm.MARGARET: Imafraid that I cantifitwasstartalloveragain

YVONNE:Hmm.Yeah.MARGARET:WhatshallIdo?YVONNE:Yeah.MARGARET:AmIstrongenoughtowalkaway?IdontthinkIam.So,thatswhyImworried.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm [Pauses.]How soon do you need tomake adecision?

MARGARET: I think pretty soonbecause I dont want to leaveeverything here and just go away.And, Im afraid if I dont doanything,thatswhatIwilldo.Andthen I end up in [name of city]whereIlivedbefore.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET: And I was sellingdrugs also. So, now I would bewith the people who are not goodformeatall.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:So,thisiskindofafunnyquestion.

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE: If you had a scale andzero was you didnt even thinkaboutanydecision

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE: and 10was youwerecompletely confident that youllmake the rightdecision,whereareyourightnow?

Why did you ask her about

confidence here rather than asking herdirectly about making the decision?

Because she has already said inreference to her boyfriend being like adrug, that in that situation she didntfeel like she could do anything, shedidnt listen to herself or believe inherself, and by implication she had noconfidence in herself. Believing inherself is very crucial to the solutionbecause in describing the trouble sheis in she characterizes it as notbelieving in herself and not havingconfidence that if she gets into thesituation she will be able to get out of itagain.

MARGARET:IthinkImonmywaytomaking thewrongdecisions, somaybe4orsomething.

YVONNE: So what number ofconfidence would you need in

order to trust that you couldmaketherightdecisionforyou?

MARGARET:Ithinkmaybe7or8.YVONNE:Maybe a 7 or an 8. Andyoure at 4 now. Has Harry everaskedyouthemiraclequestion?

MARGARET:Yeah.[Laughs.]YVONNE:Well,doyoumindifIaskyouitagain?

Some therapists might at this pointsay to her, Lets make a decision;why dont you do that?

If making a productive decision weresimple, she would have already doneit. Since she has not, I focus first onwhat it would take for her to beconfident that she can now make agood decision. She has let us knowthat she has to make a decision soon,but fears making a wrong decision.

MARGARET:No.

In answering these scalingquestions, shes gradually building acase for herself against deciding to goback to the boyfriend and the drugs.

My clients are nowhere nearknowing drugs are bad for them. Whatdo you do with people who are not assmart as this client is? Questionsabout how the client sees other peopleseeing them can be useful. In manysituations such as this somebody isnagging the client about drug use so aquestion might be asked regardinghow would this person be convinced tostop nagging? Of course, when theclient is somehow involuntary anddoes not want to stop using drugs,then not knowing that drugs are bad

is a reasonable deference strategy.Only if they want to achieve somethingelse and stopping drugs makesachieving that goal more likely will theyfind stopping drugs is a reasonable,logical thing to do.

YVONNE: Sometimes it helps meunderstand.

MARGARET:Okay.YVONNE: Do you have your ownroomwiththisfamily?

MARGARET:Yeah.[Laughs.]YVONNE:Doyoulikethat?MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Sometimesitcanbereallyimportanttohaveonesownroom.

MARGARET:Yeah.Yeah.YVONNE:Letssupposethattonightyou go back there and you do

whatever you normally do to getreadyforbed.

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: And youre youregood to yourself. You know. Youdo whatever it is that makes youcomfortable and you get into bed.Areyouagoodsleeper?

MARGARET:No,notrightnow,but[Laughs.]

YVONNE: Okay. So lets imaginethatmaybeatfirstyouhavealittletroublesleeping.

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: Because thats kind ofnormalrightnow.Butsomehoworother, you eventually drift off tosleep.

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE:And I dont know if you

notice that youre falling off tosleepormaybeyoujustfallasleep.But,somehowitsagoodsleep.

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE: And sometime whenyoure sleeping, youre warmenough, youre not too cool.Youre not too warm. Youre justkindofright.Maybeyourehavingadream,maybenot.Butsomehowdeep inside you, something shifts.And I dont know whether itssomethingwithyourconfidenceormaybe its some wisdom youvebeenkindofstoringupallalong,ormaybe its almost like an angelgives you a little blessing. I dontknow what it is, but somethingshifts.Andyouknowhowtomakethe right decision.You know how

tomakethedecisionthatsbestforyou. But you dont know thathappenedbecauseyoureasleep.And so eventually, you wake up.

Youre going through your day. Butyourconfidencenowismorelikea7oran8.Maybe7even.Whatwouldyour familynotice?Whatwouldyounotice that would make you say,Hmm, itsnota4anymore. Itsa7or 8? What do you think youdnoticethatwouldletyouknowitwasata7ormaybeevenan8?Whatwillbedifferent?MARGARET:Um,firstofall,Ithinkhesnotthefirstthingonmymind.

You ask the miracle question in asort of odd way, talking about beingnot too hot and not too cold, and

either drifting off to sleep withoutrealizing it or having some trouble firstand then falling asleep. Is this due toan integration of your Ericksonianbackground with SFBT?

Clients are better able to respond tothe miracle question from a context ofimagined comfort and security, and Iwanted her comfortable, so I specifiedthat she would feel neither too hot nortoo cold. Of course there are otherways to imply a context of comfort andsecurity without using actual words,such as by the therapists relaxed,peaceful tone, or even a comfortablepause between words, both of which Ioftentimes have seen done by Steveand Insoo.

In addition, I wanted some real-lifedetails, such as whether she had aroom of her own, so I could tailor mydescription so that it reflected therealities of her current life. Real-lifedetails are very important. Beyond

that, and more important, my choice ofwords was dictated by wanting toincorporate her exact words and reflectthe reality of her current situation asfaithfully and respectfully as possible.Inviting a client to answer the miraclequestion works best if it is conveyed inan appealing, comfortable way, andthat is why I wanted her to imaginebeing comfortable, neither too hot nortoo cold, and eventually having thepleasure of sleep while stillacknowledging that she had in fact notbeen sleeping well recently.

Where did you get the idea to putthe scale question inside the miraclequestion?

If she and I had more time, Iprobably would have simply continuedscaling and reached the solution thatway. However, we were under a timeconstraint and she had indicated thatshe needed to make a decision soon,so I combined scaling and the miracle

question to accelerate the process.

YVONNE:Hmm.Meaning,Paul?MARGARET:Yeah.Yeah.

Her first answer to the miraclequestion, Its not the first thing on mymind, is actually a negative. Somepeople, especially beginning studentsof SFBT would likely think this was nota useful answer, but for you it wasobviously useful. How so?

For me it was a beautiful opportunityto invite her to go into details of whatshe would be thinking about instead.Instead is a wonderful sort oflinguistic doorway that invites clientswho have answered with a negation towalk right into a nice description of thesolution. In this way, saying he wouldnot be the first thing is a perfect

answer, and it indicates that she hasmade up her mind that she is going togo up on the scale rather than down onthe scale.

There is a whole class of whatseems to beginners in SFBT or newtherapists as wrong answers to themiracle question, and the challenge isfor the therapist to find a way in eachcase to respectfully utilize the answerin a way that allows the client tocontinue with the solution-buildingprocess.

For example, the client might say,After the miracle I wake up and I havewon the lottery; what does thetherapist do to get back to a morepractical description of a solution?

I respond by saying humorously, Ifyou do win, will you share it with me?and then either the client automaticallyreturns to a more practical descriptionof what life would be like when theproblem is solved, or at this point, I can

comfortably invite him to do so.Sometimes a client answers the

miracle question by saying that hewould be doing something different;what question do you follow up withthere in order to help the clientcontinue in the direction of thesolution?

I would say, Lets suppose, he infact did that, what then would you bedoing?

YVONNE: What might you bethinkingofinstead?

MARGARET: [Sighs.] I think justanything. Maybe something Iwoulddothatday.

YVONNE: Like what you would beplanningtodothatday?

MARGARET:YeahYVONNE:Hmm.Withfriendsoron

yourownor?MARGARET: Well, I think I willhavetolookforwork,forexample.

YVONNE:Hmm.MARGARET:Andsoon,yeah.YVONNE: So, maybe youmight bethinkingaboutpossiblework?

MARGARET:Yeah.

I am more apt to continue themiracle question and apply it to thescale if I am pressured by timeconstraints.

YVONNE:Hmm.MARGARET: I do that now. But,but,nowImjustlikesoconfused.SoIthinkIhavetowait.

YVONNE: Mmm-hmm. So youre

confused sometimes. But youredoingitnowsome.Yourethinkingaboutit.

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: Thats interesting. So atleastyourethinkingaboutit.

MARGARET: But it feels likesomethingsstoppingme.

YVONNE:Sure.Yeah.Youknow.Itmight not be the time yet. Butyourethinkingaboutwork.

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:SometimesSometimesfirst?

MARGARET:No.YVONNE:Whenyouwakeup?MARGARET:No.YVONNE: Youre thinking about it.So after this miracle or thisblessing,maybe youd be thinking

aboutsomethingelsefirst.Itmightbeplans.Itmightbewhatyouweredoing. What else would bedifferent that youwould say, Ah,thisismoreofa7oran8?

Wittgenstein asks: But how do I knowwhatIwoulddoif?IfIsteppedoutintothestreetandfoundeverythingcompletelydifferentfromwhatIwasusedto,maybeIwould just go ahead and join in. So Iwould behave quite differently than everbefore(LWPP,#200).

MARGARET: Um, I think it wouldbedifferentalsobecausenowtheydont know what Im thinkingabout.TheydontknowthatIhavehad this contact with Paul. And, I

dontlikelying,butIIalsofeelthatImlyingforthem.

YVONNE:Hmm.MARGARET:Well,Ido.YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:SoYVONNE:Soifyoureata7,umwhat would be going on? Whatwouldyoubedoing insteadof thelying?

MARGARET: I think it would beeasier for me to just talk and bewith them. Right now, Im justlike:Dontaskmeanything.

YVONNE: So theyd notice youtalkingtothemmore?

You made a shift here from what theclient would notice to what Marilyn [thewoman in the family] would notice.

Why?Asking a question incorporating the

view or reaction of someone withwhom the client has a relationshipanchors the therapeutic change moreconcretely in the clients real life, andprovides a signpost of progress thatshe can look at in the future when shein fact does what she is describing andthe other person responds. We knowthat sooner or later she is going to betalking to Marilyn because she is livingwith her, and she is a woman, andwomen tend to talk to one another.

MARGARET:Yes.YVONNE:Justingeneral.MARGARET: Yeah. Because ImsurethatMarilyn,thewomaninthefamily, noticed that something isnotright.

YVONNE:Becauseyouresoquiet?

MARGARET: Im not really quiet,butIdontliketalkingaboutwhatIwould like to do or what ImthinkingaboutbecausethenIhavetolieevenmore.

YVONNE: Uh-huh. So she wouldnotice you talking about plans forthefuture?

Are relational questions like this anintegral part of SFBT? Yes. Weincorporate these sorts of questionswherever possible in our sessions. Notonly does it help the client elaboratethe details of the solution, oftentimes itworks when the client is unable to findhis or her own voice in reference tothe problem that brings them totherapy, or, more significantly, the goalthat they want and need to achieve inorder to leave therapy feeling satisfied.

There are many clients who are unableto describe what they want to havehappen as a result of therapy bythinking solely about what they want orhow they personally would know thingsare better, yet are able to do so verywell when asked to describe whatothers would notice about them thatwould indicate that things were better.

MARGARET:Yeah.

YVONNE:Whatsdifferentaboutthetimeswhenyouvebeenabletodothatbeforewithher?

In response to this question, theclient gives herself good reasons forbeing honest. This is much moreeffective than anything the therapistcould have said.

MARGARET:Ah,well,Iguesswhenyoure honest, its yourehappierand

YVONNE: Hmm. So, happier. Howdo you feel that? I mean, for youdoyoufeelitinyourbody,orhowdoyoufeelit?

MARGARET: Yeah, I can feel it inmy body, too. Right now Im likeinthenightsIhavethisIhadahard timebreathingand Im justnervous and I smoke all the time.And

YVONNE: Mmm-hmm. So you canremember times when thebreathingwaseasyand

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: You felt you felthappier,morerelaxed?

MARGARET:Um,yeah,maybe.ButImean,Ijusthavehadthiscontactwith him for like a month orsomething.Soitsnotthatbigofadifferenceyet.

YVONNE:Hmm. Is thatwhatkeepsita4?Becauseithasntbeengoingonthatlong?

MARGARET: Yeah. But, Im alsoafraid because it changes somuchjustfromoneweektoanother.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET: Like at first, I justphoned him maybe twice a week.Now,Iphonehimtwiceaday.

YVONNE: Mmm-hmm. So, if youwere at a 7 with this miracle intermsofconfidenceaboutwhateveryour decision is, what else wouldbe different, so that youd know

youwerea7?Ifyourecallinghimtwiceadayata4,whatwouldyoubedoingata7?

MARGARET: I dontwant tophonehimatall.

YVONNE: Really?Would that be agood7?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Itsaprettybigchange.MARGARET:[Laughs.]Yeah.YVONNE:Hmm.MARGARET: Because I know Icant I cant. I have to do Ihavetostopeverything.Icantlikejust phone him once a weekbecause then I feel like Im justlosingeverythingelse.

YVONNE: How did you figure thatout?Fromexperienceor?

MARGARET:Yeah.

YVONNE: Hmm. So how muchwouldyouphonehimata7?

MARGARET: Well, it would itwouldbeall rightformetophonehimonceaweek if Icouldhandlethesituation.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:But, I stillwant to besure that its okay, I havemy lifehereandIwontgoback.Allright.RightnowIthinkIwill(goback).

YVONNE: So, theres somethingabout I havemy life. So in thismiracle,youreconfident.Andpartof thatconfidence is thefeelingofIhavemylife?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Whatwill be some signstoyouofIhavemylife?

MARGARET: Um. Um. [Sighs.]

[Pauses.] Maybe I would start towork. I would start to have morefriends down here. I also have aplace

YVONNE:Ahouse,too?MARGARET: An apartment in[nameofatown].WhereIlivelikeonedayaweekorso.

YVONNE:Youhaveanapartment?MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Wouldthatbepartofthis,too?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: How did you manage toget an apartment? Youre young.Thisisimpressive.

MARGARET:No,itsnot.BecauseIhadmyfurniturein[nameoftown]when I moved from there, and Idont know, what do you call it,

socialservices?YVONNE:Yeah.MARGARET:Yeah.They supportedme when I said I dont want tohavemyfurniturebackthere.

YVONNE: So they must havebelievedinyou.

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Enoughtosupportyou.MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Oh.Hmm.Iwonderwhatconvincedthem?

MARGARET: Um, well, theyveknown me for a couple of yearsnow.

YVONNE: So they must seesomethinginyou.

MARGARET: Yeah, I think so.Theyregreat.

YVONNE: Mmm-hmm. Well, I

wonderwhat theyreseeinginyouthat makes them say Well, itsworth supporting her with thisapartment.

MARGARET:Um,Ithinkmanydrugaddictsarenotlikingthem.AndI think they have a hard timehelpingpeople.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET: But, Ive never beenlikelikethat.

YVONNE: They saw somethingdifferentinyou?

MARGARET:No, I dont think Imdifferent. I think since I was achild,IhadIthinkImaybehada little bit different childhoodbecauseIhavereallygreatparents.And, if I compare tomy friends, IthinkinonewayIhadabettertime

when I was a child. So, I thinkmaybethatgavemesomething.

YVONNE: Mmm-hmm. And yourecognizethat,itsoundslike.

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE:Sobacktothe7.MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE:Sofar,letssee,thework

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE: would be coming inthere. Youd be moving towardwork?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: Moving toward newfriends,oroldfriends?

MARGARET:Newfriends.YVONNE: New friends. Okay. Inthisarea?

MARGARET:Yeah.

YVONNE: What about theapartment?Howdoesthatfitin?

MARGARET:Well,IthinkmaybeifIspendmoretimethere.MaybeifIcan decide a little bit more formyself instead of everybody elsedeciding what I shall or shall notdo.

YVONNE:Hmm.MARGARET: And if I was able tomakegooddecisions.[Laughs.]

YVONNE: So making some gooddecisionsintheseotherareas?

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE:Wouldthatgiveyoumoreconfidencetowarda7?

MARGARET:Yeah,Ithinkso.

But theexceptionand therulecouldnotchangeplacewithoutdestroyingthegame

Ifexceptionandrulechangeplacethenit just is not the same thing anymore!Butwhatdoesthatmean?Maybethatourattitudetowardthegamewillthenchangeabruptly.Isitasifafteragradualloadingof one side and lightening of the other,there was a non-gradual tipping of thebalance?(RPP1,#145-146).

YVONNE: Hmm. What are sometimes when youve made gooddecisionsinthepast?

MARGARET: Well, I did make thedecisiontocomehereandImstilldoingdecisiontostayhere.Doyouunderstandme?

YVONNE: How did you do that? IthinkIunderstand.Imeanhowdidyou do it? I mean, because thatsoundsquitesignificant.

MARGARET: I really do want tolive. I really do want to have agoodlife,anormallife.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.Mmm-hmm.Isthatpartofthe7?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: Hmm. Anything else Ishould be asking you about thatmight be part of the 7 after thismiracle?

MARGARET: [Laughs.] No Idontknow.Uh,I thinkalsoatthepointof7,Imnotsoafraid.Now,Im like afraid for everything. Imafraid like I will make the wrongdecision.Iwillsaythewrongwordor

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.Mmm-hmm.Sowhatwouldyoube feelinganddoing instead at the 7 not being

afraid? How do you act whenyourenotafraid?

MARGARET:Um,well, I think Imlaughingalotandhappy.

YVONNE:HmmSoyoursenseofhumorcomesback?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Huh.Is thata7oris thathigher?

MARGARET:No, I think 7 is goodenough.[Laughs.]

YVONNE: Wow. So laughing. Doyou have a pretty good sense ofhumor?

MARGARET: Yeah, I think so.[Laughs.]

YVONNE: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So isthere anything that we should askHarry?

MARGARET: Um, I dont really

know if theres something specialtoaskhim.Whatdoyouthink?

YVONNE: I trust your instinct,actually.

MARGARET:[Laughs.]YVONNE:Itsoundslikepartof that7 is maybe trusting your instinct.Shallweseeifhewantstoringuswithanything?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: So you can phone us ifyouwant.[This isdirected towardtheteambehindthemirror.]

[Pause.]HARRY: We were just talking,saying that you dont missanything.Didyou tellme tocomein?

YVONNE: We wondered if maybeyouhadanythoughtsorideas?

HARRY: I think you covered it. Ithink you sort of laid it out verycleanly:where the dilemma is andwhattheoptionsare.Ithinkyourevery clear. I would have to thinkaboutthisbeforeaddinganything.Idont have any more questions orthings that I feel are necessary atthispoint.

MARGARET:Okay.YVONNE: Do you want to take ashort break and you think about itandIllthinkaboutitalittlebit?

MARGARET:[Laughs.]HARRY:Areyouokay?MARGARET:Yeah.Yeah.Good.YVONNE: Youre a very articulateyounglady.

MARGARET:Thankyou.YVONNE:Howoldareyou?

MARGARET:22.YVONNE: I thought, not from yourlooks you look very youthful,but just I would have thoughtyouwere even a little bit older intermsofmaturity.

MARGARET:[Laughs.]YVONNE: Okay. Is there anythingelseIshouldhaveasked?

MARGARET:No. [Laughs.] I dontthinkso.

YVONNE: Well just take a shortbreak. Do you want anything?Water?

MARGARET:No,Imfine.YVONNE: Ill beback in just a fewmoments.

***[PauseforBreak]***

YVONNE:Well, Iwrote down a lotofstuff.

MARGARET:Okay.YVONNE: One of the impressionsthat everybody had there wereseveral that everybody had. Onewasthatyoureathinker.

MARGARET:Mmm.YVONNE: And it looked to us likeits useful for you to do that. Imean,thatworksfromwhatyouresaying. I mean, when you thinkthings out, use your own head asyou say, it seems to make adifference.

MARGARET:Uh-huh.YVONNE:Fromwhatyoudescribed.everybodynoticedthat,thatyourea thinker. Um, you said youvebeenthinkingthisoverforawhile,

and it seemed to us, I really feelthis way, that theres a goodreason. I mean theres a reasonyoure taking your time with this.Because you want to make thedecisionthatsbestforyou.

MARGARET:Uh-huh.YVONNE: And, uh, boy, I justpersonally had this responseofreally encouraging you to not goanyfasterthanyouarereadytogo.Tojusttakeitslow.Justlikeyouredoing.

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.YVONNE: Because, I dont thinkhow fast you make decisions iswhatmatters. Um, it seems tomethat itsmore important foryou todo what youre doing and reallythink about all the aspects of this.

Um,onepersonbacktherepointedout,umtherewasa lotofheadnodding about this everybodyagreed.Wesaid,Sheismaking youre making, a very goodanalysisofyourownsituation.

MARGARET:Mmm-hmm.

But the inner is hidden frommeisntthat just as vague as the concept ofinner?(Forjustconsider:theinnerafterall is sensations + thought + images +mood + intention, and so on) (LWPP,#959).

YVONNE:Andittooksomedoing,Ithink. That took some thinking.Thatshardwork. In talkingaboutthat, I felt that inherewhen Iwas

listeningtoyou:Thisisnotaneasydecision. This is a difficultsituation because its going toaffect your life. And, I said tomyself, God, this is really a harddecision.Itsashamethatsomeonethis young has to make such adifficult decision. And, um,especiallybecauseofthat,wefeltitwassowiseofyoutonothurryit,togoslow.Takeyourtimewithit.Dont decide when youre notready. Just decide. And, um, theythoughtthattakingitslowlyasyouarewas themost responsible thingyoucoulddo.

MARGARET:Okay.YVONNE: Theres another piece offeedback. Um, that it is veryimportanttodoasyoudo.Tothink

abouteverythingsothatyouhaveafeeling of confidence that youreally are making the rightdecision.Andourthoughtwasthatit would be very important to justpay attention to things that wouldmean moving in the direction you know, work, friends, eveninterestinwork,orsomethingkindof tickles your interest, or theapartment, any signs that wouldindicate that you moving in thedirectionofa5ora6ora7.Reallypayattentiontothose.

MARGARET:Okay.

If you observe [pay attention to] yourowngrief [innerprocess],which sense toyouusetoobserveit?Aparticularsense?One that feels grief? Then do you feel it

differentlywhenyouareobservingit?Andwhatisthegriefthatyouareobserving,isitonewhichisthereonlywhileitisbeingobserved?(LWPP,#407).

YVONNE: Because youre on tosome of the ways that might besigns. There may be others, too,that will come up. I thought itwould be really important to justpay attention to those and to keepdoing as you are. In terms of theslowness.

MARGARET:Okay.YVONNE:Andthefinalthingwas:Ishouldaskyou ifyouwant to talktoHarrytomakeanappointment.

MARGARET:[Laughs.]YVONNE:TofollowuponMARGARET:Yeah.

YVONNE: on how this goes.Would you be willing to payattentiontothosesigns?

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:Okay.MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: I get the feeling theres,Illbecuriouswhatyouthinkaboutthisbut it seems like theresanecology to the way youre doingthis.Theremustbeareasonyourenotrushingthis.

MARGARET:Yeah, there is. I thinkwhat I didwrong beforewas IwasjustlivingmylifefromwhatIfeltinmyheart.

YVONNE:Mmm-hmm.MARGARET:And, thatwasnot toogood.Sonow,ImtryingtousemyheadaswellbeforeImake,before

Imakeadecisiontodoanything.YVONNE: Yeah. Yeah. Well, fromwhat I understand from the wayyou describe this, youd be right.Theres some horsepower here[indicating Margarets head]. Imeantheressomestuffthere.

MARGARET:[Laughs.]YVONNE: And boy, I think youreabsolutelyrighttotouseboth.

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE: Okay. Well, I reallyappreciatemeetingyou.

MARGARET:Yeah.YVONNE:AndIll letyou talkwithHarry. I probably wont get achancetoseeyouagain.

MARGARET:No.YVONNE: Um, I just want to say Ireally believe in you. I just have

this instinct. And every once in awhile ImeetayoungpersonandIkind of say to myself afterwards,and Iprobablywouldnt say it if Iwasgoingtoseeyouagain.MaybeIdsayitifIranintoyouinayearor two. But since I am probablyonly going to see you once inmylifetime, Im going to just say:Theres something about you.Youre one of those young peoplethat you give me hope in thenext generation. I just have thatfeeling.Iwantyoutoknowthat.

MARGARET:Thankyou.Thankyouforseeingme.

YVONNE: Itwasapleasure tomeetyou.Harryisgoingtocomeback.

MARGARET:Okay.YVONNE:Goodluckwiththis.

MARGARET:Thankyou.YVONNE: I believe youre going tomaketherightdecisionforyou.

MARGARET:Okay.Yeah.Thanks.

You have created a differentlinguistic reality for the client throughthe use of scaling questions, relationalquestions, and the miracle question,but she is