Act Two

Life’sLife’sto-doto-dolistlist

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Like the charactersin ‘The Bucket List,’ olderLong Islanders are realizing dreamsB6

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See a slide show ofKathleen Casserly’spilgrimage.

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Like Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, inset, in “The Bucket List,” Kathleen Casserly of Huntington took to the road tofulfill a dream. Her pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago took her hiking through France and Spain.

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Lori Connors and AnnetteWanderer, above, ply thewaters of Alaska, where theyspent a week last Maykayaking around Eagle Island.Left, Kathleen Casserly at achurch in Navarra, Spain,during her pilgrimage on theCamino de Santiago.

BY CARYN EVE MURRAYcaryneve.murray@newsday.com

Kathleen Casserly’s pilgrimage hadbeen quietly waiting for its turn atNo. 1 on her list.

After working as an addictionscounselor, she had finally achieved

her childhood aspiration to the clergy in 2003,when she was ordained as an interfaith minister.

But the Huntington residentalso always possessed a wan-dering spirit. “I used to noticeI always had used words like‘path’ and ‘way’ and ‘journey,’ ”said Casserly, 57.

Preoccupied for more thantwo decades with the Caminode Santiago , she was drawneven more toward this reli-gious pilgrimage throughFrance, ending in the Spanishtown of Santiago de Composte-la after a divorce in 1998, theloss of her mother and threesiblings and a false alarm in2006 following a mammogram.

“I knew what I had to do,”she said recently.

On a one-month leave ofabsence from work, she cov-ered 300 of the Camino’s 500miles on foot, and the rest bybus, until she arrived in Santia-go in late 2006. She returnedwith newfound peace and anew list.

“I want to walk from oneend of England to another,”she said recently. “I want togo to India and visit the

mountains outside Chennai.”To many, it’s the ultimate

inventory, a list that bringspeace, mends relationshipfences or hones a skill whilelife still has time. The cur-rent film “The Bucket List”brought wider attention tothe idea, as Jack Nicholson’sand Morgan Freeman’s termi-nally ill characters globe-trottheir way to the finish linebefore the cancer ravagingtheir bodies transports themthere first.

Hearing movie’s messageIn defiance of the critical

trouncing the film took forbeing too simplistic or overlyreliant on its veteran stars’screen charisma, it surged tothe top of the box office. It hastaken in more than $85 millionin the United States so far onits strength as a “buddy movie”and because its theme hadclearly struck a chord. Lastweekend it was still the 11th-most-popular movie in thecountry.

“Nothing concentrates themind more than a deadline,and the final deadline isdeath,” said Jonathan Jackson,director of the Center forPsychological Services anddirector of clinical training atAdelphi University's DernerInstitute. “You think abouthow much time you have left

in your life, and it provokesthese kinds of thoughts.”

But the view of life’s lists asa peripatetic pursuit is flawed,he said.

In reality, he said, suchlist-making can just as easilybe inspired by health. “Theseare thoughts and reflectionspeople have all the time, when

they are in midlife, and evenwhen they are young.”

In fact, that’s how Joe Cam-bria’s list began. Now 44, theVerizon manager from Mass-apequa Park was cycling cross-country in his 20s when hestarted taking mental notes.

“I realized there is so muchin life to experience. I prom-ised myself that when I gothome I’d start doing the thingsthat I dreamed about,” he said.

Thus began his sky-diving,rock climbing, motorcycleriding and scuba diving —for starters. Now marriedand the father of three, Cam-bria may parachute fromplanes at 13,500 feet or scalecraggy rocks a little lessoften, but each time he does,he reminds himself howmuch fun life can be.

Turning to a kayakAnnette Wanderer took her

plunge into kayaking in herlate 40s, during a vacation inthe Florida Keys, after aseries of what she called“turning points,” includingthe death of a friend’s hus-band from melanoma at theage of 56.

Long Islanders focus on realizing the dreams on their bucket list

Actually doing itcoverstory newsday.com/act2

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One of the more challenging homeworkassignments doled out inside Wood ParkPrimary School in Commack in earlyJanuary wasn’t one for the kids.

Teachers and other staffers were asked tocompile a “bucket list” of their own afterseeing the film of the same name as a group,along with principal Michelle Collison.

The adults had seen how students hadresponded to a recent “bucket-filling”exercise they were instructed to do inclass and thought they would try some-thing like that themselves.

Like any good homework, it provokedthought. Neither Susan Brandel of EastNorthport nor Shelly Atlas of Jerichohad really given much thought to such alist before the outing, but now, it seems,few of the 20 who went on the outing

has since held an empty bucket.“I’d like to spend even more time with

family and friends,” said Brandel, 53, aschool secretary. “And volunteer, maybeat a soup kitchen or a hospice.”

“There are so many places in the worldI’d like to visit,” said Atlas, 51, a second-grade teacher. “I’m also looking at lifenow, not wanting to rush through things.”

A trip to Australia appealed to anoth-er school secretary, Linda Rotoli, 61,of Hauppauge. She also promisedherself she’d finally learn to swim thissummer.

Moved by the friendship between thefilm’s dying protagonists, second-gradeteacher Mary Fazio, 60, said appreciation ofher own relationships has deepened, particu-larly with grown children living out of town.

“I am not one for travel,” she said, “but Iwant to be with my family as much as Ican.”

Another second-grade teacher, MonaDeMarco of Commack, rolled those two listitems into one: “I want to take a cruise withmy family and extended family while weare all still young enough,” said DeMarco,49. “And that will happen.”

Content at being well traveled, readingteacher Leslie Davis seeks no major jour-neys. In fact, Davis, 62, of Commack, saidher list has been with her for years. It waspenned by Ralph Waldo Emerson andincludes these simple wishes: “To laughoften, to win the respect and affection ofchildren . . . to know even one life hasbreathed easier because of having lived.”

— CARYN EVE MURRAY

“Do whatever you want todo,” Wanderer, 52, of Babylon,said she told herself at the time.“You are getting older.” TheFarmingdale State Collegebusiness professor went lastsummer with her friend LoriConnors of Islip to Alaska,

where they rode kayaks aroundEagle Island. In October, Wan-derer kayaked in the VirginIslands. Mostly she rides inGreat South Bay, feeling a littlebit more of an adventurer thesedays.

From all this, she said, she

has learned: “I am not going tobe on the sidelines. I am goingto be at the head of the dancelines at the senior citizens’center.”

Vinny Franco already is.The 80-year-old Huntingtonresident, who goes to the

Town of Huntington SeniorCenter, dusted off his long-idle tap shoes recently andresumed lessons because heremembered what fun it was.The payoff now, he said, ishe gets exercise and he canperform to make peoplesmile.

Dance isn’t the only thingFranco delights in sharing.The former graphic designerrenewed his youthful love ofpainting. Now, he said, hesavors a satisfaction hismuch-loved longtime career,designing automobile logos,postage stamps and commer-cial packaging, never could:“With painting, you’re not

confined or limited in whatyou can do.”

John Stevens’ list wastopped by a book that took40 years to hit print. When itdid, it was the third oneauthored by the Greenlawnman, 78, a retired architectur-al historian. With 2005 publi-cation of “Dutch VernacularArchitecture in North Ameri-ca 1640-1830,” he became aproud author again at 76,inspired by the MinneSchenck House, a Dutch-American building at OldBethpage Village Restoration,where he’d worked.

“I had to finish that book. Ijust had to do it,” said Stevens.

Back to the martial artsRich Vience also had unfin-

ished business high on his list.College, the Army Reserve,then family life and volunteerfirefighting displaced his com-mitment to the martial arts. InFebruary 2007, the Mass-apequa father of four returnedto the discipline 40 years later,just weeks before he turned60.

“I’d always rememberedhow good it felt to be able tomove my feet as easily as Imove my hands, it is a verycomfortable feeling that stuckwith me,” said Vience, 61,who runs his own informa-tion technology service busi-ness.

Sometimes fulfillment alsobrings lifelong closure — asYellesphur Dathatri of Farm-ingdale and Maria JimenezTonkiss of Middle Island bothdiscovered.

With his wife, Geetha, olderbrother, Jayaram, and son,Deepak, by his side, Dathatri,59, achieved the spiritual home-coming desired by many devot-ed Hindus: In 2005, the familyjourneyed to Lake Manasaro-var, and Mount Kailash inTibet, at more than 21,000 feet,battling altitude sickness asthey followed their sherpaguides to the holy site. It wasan arduous and expensiveexpedition — at least $3,000per person, including airfare.

“I have all along beenreligious but these days it isa little more,” said Dathatri,director of the Solar EnergyCenter at Farmingdale StateCollege. “The moment yousee the lake and the moun-tain, you feel that you arealone with nature. It is alifetime experience. . . . Myoutlook has changed and Isee everything in a different,calmer light.”

Tonkiss, 74, restored whole-ness to her life, too, reunitingin 2006 with her brother,Ramon, after a 17-year es-trangement over a familyfinancial matter. Fulfillment

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Above, Yellesphur Dathatriand his wife, Geetha, ofFarmingdale, hold a photo theholy mountain of Kailash inTibet, which the family visited.Left, John Stevens wasinspired to write a book onDutch-American architectureafter working at Old BethpageVillage.

acttwo

Post-movie homework: Create a bucket list

NEWSDAY PHOTOS / ANA P. GUTIERREZ

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