Nifty pickle 12 25 14

1Thanks For Reading The Nifty Pickle!

Thursday • December 25, 2014 • Issue #18

“I always want-ed to drive luxu-ry vehicles,” says Ruben Baraho-na. “I was a truck driver, but one day a limousine com-pany hired me to drive for them and I worked my way

up from driving the smallest vehicle to the largest.” Barahona tells me this in English with only a slight Spanish accent as we sit in my office and chat. His striking good looks, dark hair and eyes and over 6 foot tall frame make this well-dressed man very notice-able. His gracious manner and ready smile make him easily approachable. Ruben was born in Guatemala but is a legal resident of Marshall County. He lives in Horton with his wife, Elva, and daughters, Jocelyn and Jennifer. Ruben owns a local limousine com-pany, called Diamond Limousines located in Albertville, but the limousines are avail-able for other areas of Marshall County also. You may see one of his limousines parked adjacent to Mattress King in Guntersville. He has many more available through his af-filiation with other nearby limousine own-ers. These limousines include the following: Lincoln—seats 10 to 12, Excursion SUV—seats 12 to 14, Denali—seats 14, Chrysler 300—seats 8, and a Hummer—seats 14. So it is easy to choose the limousine best suited to your needs. Ruben tells me that all types of peo-ple lease limousines for all types of reasons.

Riding in LuxuryBy Elsa Rutherford

Not just for proms, weddings or the holi-day season, as you would expect. He says, “people lease limousines year round for party-going, a dinner and night on the town, for family reunions, and many other occa-sions, including simply for the fun, pleasure and romance of being chauffeur driven in a luxury limousine.” I ask him if his passengers ever want to bring him into their conversations. He says, “Sometimes they do. But usually, es-pecially the younger passengers, they want their privacy and want to listen to their mu-sic, so I just raise the glass divider between them and me, and they can’t hear me and I can’t hear them.” The cost of the transportation de-pends on the size of limousine, the length of time it’s used and if any special accom-modations are needed. For example, Ruben will take photos and videos if the client requests it. Limousines are often reserved months ahead to be sure they will be avail-able when the client needs them. Ruben tells me he is already taking reservations for prom season in the spring. Speaking with Ruben, I have learned the limousine rental business is much more bustling and in much more demand year round than I realized. Like many of our charitable citizens, Ruben likes to contribute to the community in any way he can. Presently, he is sponsor-

Continued on Page 10

First of all, you may have noticed our new logo at the top of the page. I decid-ed it was time for a fresh look, so I hired a 3D Illustrator in New York by the name of Matt Ostrom to design the new pickle. Per-sonally, I think he did a fantastic job. Wait until you see some of the other variations that we are coming up with. This is going to be super-fun! There is something else that has to be done as well. Our new pickle needs a name and that’s where you come in. If you will notice, we have a form at the bottom of this page, inviting you to Name That Pick-le. Simply complete the form, mail it to us or send your suggestions via eMail. All of the information that you will need is on that form. I’m really looking forward to seeing what you come up with. Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you this... The winner of the Name That Pickle contest will receive a gift card with a value of up to $25. We will make an announcement later concerning where the gift cards can be redeemed. You have until January 15, 2015 to submit your entry for the Name That Pickle contest. Now, let’s talk about what’s going on for the next few weeks. As you may know, I have been diagnosed with end-stage re-nal failure which means that my kidneys no longer work properly. I have been on Dialysis for about 18 months now and un-less I get a kidney transplant, I will be on it for the rest of my life. From my experi-

Continued on Page 11

New & ExcitingChanges Coming To The

Nifty Pickle in 2015By James Webster, Editor-In-Chief

Please Support Your Local Merchants!2

Trusting the OIG The snafu in Phoenix, with its claims that 40 vet-erans died because of scheduling problems, got our at-tention. What has us perking up our ears now is the al-legation that the Office of the Inspector General for the Department of Veterans Affairs hid or buried information that it had for years about the Phoenix scheduling mess. Over the years, I’ve read a few hundred reports out of the OIG. I’ve seen the care and effort that go into ev-ery investigation, as well as the subsequent recommen-dations that show complete understanding of the facts at hand. In the details, I can see the OIG ferreting out information in paperwork and interviews, digging deep. If the OIG has fallen down in any area, it is in being too trusting in its recommendations -- trusting that those at the top in any VA facility will work to make changes based on those recommendations. It’s only on the next inspection go-round that the OIG discovers that its recommendations often were ignored. There needs to be an intermediary level of accountability to stick around and crack the whip while the OIG goes on to other inves-tigations. Between April and September 2014, the VAOIG produced: eight national health-care reviews, 25 hotline health-care inspections, 27 CAP (Combined Assessment Program) reviews and 34 Community Based Outpatient Clinic reviews. They opened 41 investigations into the diversion of controlled substances, four for health ben-efits fraud, 53 for criminal activity -- and much, much more in the form of audits, evaluations and assessments. The math shows that the OIG saved $1.59 billion in total dollar impact. If you want to take a close look at the new report, go online to va.gov/oig and click on publications. Look for Semiannual Report to Congress (April to September 2014).

Freddy Groves regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions,but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible.

Send email to [email protected].(c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.


Nifty PicklePublished Weekly

by Nifty Pickle, Inc.PO Box 1161

Guntersville, Alabama 35976

256-673-8190James Webster

Publisher/Editor-In-Chief

Elsa RutherfordEditor/Contributor/Published Author

Ruben BarahonaHispanic Editor/Interpreter

T.C. McKinneyProduction Specialist

Nessa McKinneyDesign & Layout

Trish WebsterOffice Manager

The publisher, Nifty Pickle, Inc., has no responsibility for claims made by advertisers. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without consent of the publish-er. The Publisher will not be liable for any error in display advertisement to a greater extent that the cost of the line space occupied in the adver-tisement. The advertiser and/or agency agree to protect, indemnify and hold harmless this pub-lication, and it’s publisher, Nifty Pickle, against any and all liability, loss and expense (including attorney fees) arising out of the publication of the advertisers advertisement.

Letter To The Editor: We encourage letters to the editor but we ask that certain guidelines be followed: Let-ters may be typed or handwritten, and legible. Letters must be signed along with a telephone number and address. Phone numbers and ad-dresses will only be used for verification and will NOT be published. Letters should not ex-ceed 250 words. The Nifty Pickle reserves the right to refuse to print or, at it’s discretion, may edit any letter. The basic content of the letter will not be altered. All letters must be received by Monday at Noon and should be sent to Nif-ty Pickle • 7032 US Hwy 431, Albertville AL 35950 or emailed to [email protected].

Visit Us Online @ www.NiftyPickle.com

Q: Two of my favorite shows, “Scan-dal” and “How to Get Away with Murder,” haven’t been on for weeks. What’s going on, and when will they be back? -- Frankie F. A: Don’t worry, the hit ABC dra-mas are merely on winter hiatus. Olivia and Annalise will be back on Jan. 29, at 9 p.m. ET and 10 p.m. ET, respectively. “Murder” has its two-hour season finale on Feb. 26, with the 11-episode “Ameri-

can Crime” taking its time slot starting March 5.

“American Crime” -- which stars Felicity Huffman, Tim-othy Hutton and Penelope Ann Miller -- tells the story of a young couple in Modesto, California, who are brutally attacked in their home, leaving Matt Skokie, a war vet, murdered, and his wife, Gwen, unconscious, barely hanging on. The crime sends shock waves throughout the community, stirring up tensions across so-cioeconomic and racial lines in this gritty new drama told from the points of view of all involved.

Another new ABC drama, premiering Sunday, March 1, is the 10-episode “Secrets and Lies.” The story focuses on Ben, played by Ryan Phillipe, who is a person of interest in the death of a neighborhood boy, which is being investigated by Det. Andrea Cornell, played by Juliette Lewis.*** Q: I remember reading here that there was supposed to be another “Jurassic Park” movie, but I haven’t heard any-thing about it recently. Is that still happening? -- Paula F. A: It is indeed happening. “Jurassic World” -- the fourth movie in the sci-fi dinosaur anthology -- will make its world pre-miere on June 12, 2015. The new film takes place 22 years af-ter the first movie, on the island of Isla Nublar, where the dino-saur park Jurassic World has reopened for business with a fully functioning dinosaur theme park. The movie stars Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard as staff members at the park. Attendance has been in decline for years, and an idea to put the place back on the theme-park map -- genetically modifying and creating an entirely new dinosaur -- massively backfires.*** Q: I know season four just ended, but I have to know: Will my favorite show, “Hell on Wheels,” be back for another season? -- Jane T. A: The AMC Western period drama, which is about the construction of the first transcontinental railroad across the United States, will be back for its fifth and final season of 14 episodes, which will be split in half for its airing. The first seven episodes will premiere in summer 2015, with the final seven airing summer 2016. *** READERS: I reported a few months ago that NBC was developing a family sitcom starring Bill Cosby that was to possi-bly debut this summer. Well, in the midst of multiple rape allega-tions, the network has decided to pull the project, which was going to be a multigenerational family show with Bill as the patriarch, dispensing wisdom on relationships and parenthood.

Write to Cindy at King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475; or e-mail her at letters@

cindyelavsky.com. (c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.

It’s beginning to cost a lot like

Christmas.**********

The 4 stages of life:1. You believein Santa Claus

2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus

3. You dress up as Santa Claus

4. You look likeSanta Claus

**********What do you call an

elf that sings?ELFIS

**********A New Year’sresolution is

something that goes in one year and out

the other.**********

Just heard that in 2015 there will be a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it’s

called alcohol.**********My New YearsResolution is to

break my New YearsResolutions....That

way I succeed at something!


Please Support Your Local Merchants!For Reading The Nifty Pickle!

Remember the Occupy movement, with all the encampments across the nation, populated by citizens taking on the 1 percent? At best, we have a vague recollection of them and their noble cause, which was to shame the country into doing something about the toxic inequality of our wealth. We took notice for a while, then lost interest as the media switched to others stories du jour. It wasn’t long before the authorities were able to sweep away their protest with nary a squeak in return from any of us, while also brushing off any hope for reform. Let’s set aside for a moment the argument over whether the violence in and around Ferguson, Missouri, and disruptions around the country have any justification. Another question is, Will they accomplish anything, or will the questions about police brutality -- particularly toward minorities -- be shoved out of the public’s consciousness by the next Malaysian Airlines, single-minded, sim-ple-minded coverage. The shooting death of black teenager Michael Brown at the hands of a white cop, Darren Wilson, who admits he suffers no pangs of conscience, and the subsequent grand jury absurdity, which resulted in no indictment, has forced us to focus once again in this country on trigger-happy cops and anger from people of col-or about prejudiced mistreatment by the authorities. As always, the victims of the destruction in and around Fer-guson are largely innocent bystanders. But in a larger sense, our society is victimized. The justified disgust at the thuggish destruc-tion and dangerous behavior of a few troublemakers obscures the equally justified outrage at a law-enforcement system that is turn-ing us into a heavily armored police state. Instead of “serve and protect,” for too many out-of-control officers, the watchwords are “intimidate and suppress.” We can’t go on like this, not if we want to maintain a sys-tem that relies on the consent of the governed. If too many citizens conclude that they are being mistreated, they will withdraw their consent. We all have a stake in preventing that from happening. But even with the violence, the obvious needs for reform proba-bly won’t be addressed. Soon Ferguson and the larger problem it represents will fade from memory, leaving just more residue of the distrust that defines our lives these days. What can we trust? Equal protection under the law? Few be-lieve in that any more than they accept the concept of fair economic opportunity in the United States. Can we bank on our public offi-cials representing our interests? Certainly not when our political election system is so totally under the control of the big-moneyed few. Our education system is a mess; so is health care, and efforts to improve them are met with implacable resistance. How about in the private sector? Can we rely on products we buy to be what we’re told they are? Of course not. Meanwhile, we deteriorate. Those on the right blame the president; those on the left blame the unyielding opposition. Both are correct, but let’s face it: The blame is really on all of us. By refusing to stick with demands for needed change, we’re giving up on our country.

(c) 2014 Bob FrankenDistributed by King Features Synd.

The United States ofAmnesia


ALBERTVILLEAlbertville Baptist Church

302 Buchanan RoadAlbertville, Alabama 35950

(256) 878-3933

Corbinville Methodist ChurchHwy 75 N

Albertville, Alabama

Corinth Baptist Church4183 Rose Road

Albertville, Alabama 35951(256) 894-3400

Fairview UnitedMethodist Church

1750 Hustleville RoadAlbertville, Alabama 35950

(256) 891-1719

First Baptist Church Albertville309 East Main Street


Mt. Calvary Baptist Church201 Rose Road


Rose Road Church of God804 Rose Road

Albertville, Alabama 35950256-891-7723

Solid Rock Church2073 Section Line Road

Albertville, Alabama 35950256-891-1818

The Potter’s House 210 Sand Mt Dr.

Albertville, AL 35950256-298-2378

Union Grove #1Missionary Baptist Church1189 Rice Mill Chavers RoadAlbertville, Alabama 35951

(256) 891-0500

BOAZAll Saints’ Anglican Church

706 North Main StreetBoaz, Alabama 35957

Belaire Baptist Church1505 Oak Drive

Boaz, Alabama 35957(256) 593-8773

Beulah Baptist Church1991 Beulah Road

Boaz, Alabama 35957256-878-1516

BOAZBoaz Church of God

115 McGee StreetBoaz, Alabama 35957

(256) 593-3689

Crestview Church of Christ2001 US Hwy 431

Boaz, Alabama 35957(256) 593-7326

First Baptist Church225 S. Main Street

Boaz, Alabama 35957(256) 593-8580

Mt. Zion Baptist Church623 County Road 2

Boaz, Alabama 35957(256) 561-3682

Sardis Baptist Church1501 Church Street

Boaz, Alabama 35957(256) 593-7762

GUNTERSVILLEChurch of the Living God

1621 Henry StreetGuntersville, Alabama 35976

(256) 293-9658 / (256) 960-4351

First Baptist Church1000 Gunter Ave

Guntersville, Alabama 35976(256) 582-5141

First United Methodist Church539 Gunter Avenue


Guntersville Church of Christ800 Gunter Avenue

Guntersville, ---Alabama 35976(256) 582-2494

Mount Zion Missionary Baptist1444 Carlisle Ave


Rocky Branch FreeHoliness Church

Rocky Branch DriveGuntersville, Alabama 35976

The Churchat Lake Guntersville

4525 Wyeth DriveGuntersville, Alabama 35976

(256) 582-5312

Victory Baptist Church1644 O’ Brig Avenue


Remember the Occupy movement, with all the encampments across the nation, populated by citizens taking on the 1 percent? At best, we have a vague recollection of them and their noble cause, which was to shame the country into doing something about the toxic inequality of our wealth. We took notice for a while, then lost interest as the media switched to others stories du jour. It wasn’t long before the authorities were able to sweep away their protest with nary a squeak in return from any of us, while also brushing off any hope for reform. Let’s set aside for a moment the argument over whether the violence in and around Ferguson, Missouri, and disruptions around the country have any justification. Another question is, Will they accomplish anything, or will the questions about police brutality -- particularly toward minorities -- be shoved out of the public’s consciousness by the next Malaysian Airlines, single-minded, sim-ple-minded coverage. The shooting death of black teenager Michael Brown at the hands of a white cop, Darren Wilson, who admits he suffers no pangs of conscience, and the subsequent grand jury absurdity, which resulted in no indictment, has forced us to focus once again in this country on trigger-happy cops and anger from people of col-or about prejudiced mistreatment by the authorities. As always, the victims of the destruction in and around Fer-guson are largely innocent bystanders. But in a larger sense, our society is victimized. The justified disgust at the thuggish destruc-tion and dangerous behavior of a few troublemakers obscures the equally justified outrage at a law-enforcement system that is turn-ing us into a heavily armored police state. Instead of “serve and protect,” for too many out-of-control officers, the watchwords are “intimidate and suppress.” We can’t go on like this, not if we want to maintain a sys-tem that relies on the consent of the governed. If too many citizens conclude that they are being mistreated, they will withdraw their consent. We all have a stake in preventing that from happening. But even with the violence, the obvious needs for reform proba-bly won’t be addressed. Soon Ferguson and the larger problem it represents will fade from memory, leaving just more residue of the distrust that defines our lives these days. What can we trust? Equal protection under the law? Few be-lieve in that any more than they accept the concept of fair economic opportunity in the United States. Can we bank on our public offi-cials representing our interests? Certainly not when our political election system is so totally under the control of the big-moneyed few. Our education system is a mess; so is health care, and efforts to improve them are met with implacable resistance. How about in the private sector? Can we rely on products we buy to be what we’re told they are? Of course not. Meanwhile, we deteriorate. Those on the right blame the president; those on the left blame the unyielding opposition. Both are correct, but let’s face it: The blame is really on all of us. By refusing to stick with demands for needed change, we’re giving up on our country.

(c) 2014 Bob FrankenDistributed by King Features Synd.

When you are making you resolutions for the upcom-ing New Year, instead of focusing on what you aren’t, look more to what He is. Our perspective changes everything. The moon will fit between your fingertips if you hold them just right. Your focus determines your direction. That is why God desires our worship, not because He is vainglorious. Certainly not because He “needs” it, He isn’t lacking any-thing. He desires our worship because He wants us to be like Him. Have you ever had a friend that said a certain phrase or had a tone in their voice that after a while you began to copy without even realizing? It is especially noticeable, and sometimes annoying, in young children. You may have even told them, “You sound just like so and so.” That is usually the way it works, the more time we are around someone the more we act like them. When we place our focus on God, we begin to act and think like Him. This year, instead of trying to grit your teeth and push away the plate or throw away the cigarette just relax and look at Jesus. If we focus on what we have in Him the other junk just drops to the wayside without hardly any effort on our part. The Bible says “that law stirs up the desire to sin.” The best way I can translate that into something we under-stand is a wet paint sign. I would have never thought of touching that till you put up the “Do Not Touch” sign then it’s all I can think about. Another example is if you want to eat the bark off a tree, then declare a fast, or go on a “diet”. Tell yourself you can’t have food and it’s all you think about. The purpose of the law is to show us we need a savior, we are guilty. The “law” brings shame, and shame empowers the very addiction we are trying to stop. This year instead of looking at all the negatives in your life, focus on the positives that came “In Christ”. Know that He loves you 100% just like you are bumps, bruises, blemishes and all. He is neither disappointed nor ashamed in you. Don’t worry so much about your weight or your habits and just worship. Seriously, just worship. See yourself as you would Christ. The Bible says “we are hid in Him.” If He is righteous, holy and acceptable to God, so are you, because you are in Christ. Your arm is no less a part of you than your head. You stand before God not because you are so great but because Jesus is. God is not mad, disappointed or ashamed of you because you are in Jesus and He is not mad at Jesus. The Bible says, “Awake to righteousness and sin not.” When we realize who we are, we stop being who we aren’t.


Sección

Por leer elNifty Pickle

Directorio de Iglesia

El doctor llama por teléfono a su paciente:The doctor calls his patient by telephone:

Vera, tengo una noticia buena y otra mala.“Vera, I have good news and bad news.”

- Bueno... dígame primero la buena.“Well then, . . . tell me the good news first.”

Los resultados del análisis indican que le quedan24 horas de vida.

“The results of the analysis indicate that you have 24 hours left to live.”

Pero, bueno, ¿eso es la buena noticia? ¿Entonces cuál es la mala?

“Well, that’s the good news? Then what’s the bad news?”

Que llevo intentando localizarle desde ayer.“That I have been trying to reach you since yesterday.”

***********************

Doctor, doctor, no puedo recordar nada.

“Doctor, doctor, I can’t remember anything.”

Vaya, y desde cuando tiene usted este problema?

“Wow, and how long have you had this problem?”

¿Qué problema?

“What problem?”

Chistes Español

Iglesia de cristoPalabra Miel

9820 US Hwy 431Albertville, AL 35950

256-226-5545 (Pastor Dante)

Hacer publicidad de su Iglesia, llamada a

Ruben (256) 829-8537


DALLAS -- No fue, hasta cierto punto, un inicio azaroso el que vivió Claudia Jovel al llegar a sue-lo estadounidense hace aproximada-mente 20 años pro-veniente de El Sal-

vador, ya que lo hizo contando con una tarjeta que la certificaba como residente de este país. Su hermana, una ciudadana estadounidense, se ocupó de asegurar el futuro de toda su familia una vez que obtuvo su nacio-nalidad al procurarle documentación a cada uno. “Mi hermana Sandra nos pidió a todos cuando se hizo ci-udadana. Eso me benefició mucho porque pude venirme con mis hijos, quienes ahora ya tienen sus propias vidas y son profesionales exitosos”, contó la señora Jovel. Lo curioso es que, tal como otros inmigrantes con residen-cia legal en este país, Jovel no había hecho antes su solicitud para obtener la ciudadanía a pesar de cumplir con todos los requisitos desde hace mucho. “Yo renové mi tarjeta en dos ocasiones, no tenía prisa para hacerme ciudadana. Además no hablo inglés y tampoco tenía el dinero”, explica Jovel, quien vive en Grand Prairie. Fue el rumor acerca de la posibilidad de cambios en la for-ma N-400, la cual se usa para solicitar la ciudadanía, lo que la hizo cambiar de parecer. Jovel sometió la aplicación para hacerse ciudadana en abril de este año y en octubre 11 ya estaba frente a un oficial de in-migración haciendo su entrevista. Ahora, tras pasar todos sus ex-ámenes, la salvadoreña está solo a la espera de su ceremonia de juramentación. “Fue mucho más fácil de lo que pensé. Ahora me siento como si me hubiera quitado una piedra de entre los pies. Me siento muy contenta y feliz porque siento que alancé una meta muy im-portante a pesar de mis 74 años de edad”, expresa. Jovel cuenta que su jornada no fue tan pesada como creía. “Fui a un taller de Proyecto Inmigrante, ahí me llenaron la papelería,” dijo. El taller, parte de la campaña nacional New Amer-icans Campaign, les ayuda a inmigrantes como Jovel para solicitar la ciudadanía. “Y me ayudaron a aplicar por la ayuda federal que le dan a personas de bajos recursos y así no tuve siquiera que pagar los $680 dólares que cuesta el trámite”, admite muy contenta. Jovel habla de la forma I-912 Fee Waiver (Exoneración de pago), la ayuda que el gobierno ha otorgado por años a personas que no pueden cubrir los gastos de sus trámites de inmigración. Al respecto, Douglas Interiano, director ejecutivo de Proyec-

La ciudadanía despúes de los 70 años: Fue más fácil de lo que pensé

Española

to Inmigrante ICS, Inc., explica que esta ayuda federal no todos la aprovechan. “Algunos de los solicitantes ni siquiera saben que existe, otros no la piden porque creen que no se las van a dar. Pero la ver-dad es que si llenas los requisitos y demuestras que no tienes traba-jo y que tus ingresos son bajos, con toda seguridad te exoneran la cuota de $680 dólares”, asegura Interiano. Agregó que, inluso, si en la actualidad la persona que qui-ere aplicar para la exoneración está recibiendo algún tipo de ayuda como WIC o estampillas, la posibilidad de ser exento del pago es mayor. Así como Jovel, hay millones de residentes permanentes calificados para someter la planilla N-400, pero no lo hacen. La mayoría de éstos, según un estudio realizado por el Centro Nacio-nal de Investigaciones PEW en febrero del 2014, son mexicanos. Según el informe, los mexicanos son la minoría mayoritaria dentro de los Estados Unidos, esto incluye a inmigrantes indocu-mentados y residentes legales. Sin embargo, de los aptos para so-licitar la ciudadanía, solo un 36 por ciento lo hace, el resto se excu-sa aludiendo desconocimiento del idioma, falta de interés y falta de dinero. Los mexicanos se colocan así, muy por debajo de otros grupos latinos, 61 por ciento, que sí solicitan la naturalización en cuanto pueden. Interiano está de acuerdo con las estadísticas. “A muchos los detiene el idioma, a otros el dinero, mientras que otros siguen soñando con regresar algún día a su país y pre-fieren seguir siendo sólo residentes permanentes. Lo que ellos no entienden es que están perdiendo la oportunidad de votar y recibir otros beneficios que sólo los ciudadanos obtienen”, recalcó. La buena noticia para Jovel es que, a sus 74 años, ya no tendrá que preocuparse en renovar su tarjeta de residente, tampoco se afanará al pensar que tendrá una entrevista con agentes de inmi-gración; al contrario, vivirá mucho más tranquila y disfrutando de los beneficios que este país ofrece. “Una de las primeras cosas que pienso hacer después de la juramentación, es pedir mi pasaporte para poder votar”, concluyó la salvadoreña de la tercera edad. Para mayor información sobre las planillas N-400 y I-912, o sobre los requisitos exigidos para dar comienzo a una solicitud de ciudadanía, visite: www.uscis.gov. Esta historia es parte de una serie especial de New America Media sobre nuevos ciudadanos estadounidenses de la New Amer-icans Campaign. Para más información sobre cómo puede hacerse ciudadano, ingrese a www.newamericanscampaign.org.

El doctor llama por teléfono a su paciente:The doctor calls his patient by telephone:

Vera, tengo una noticia buena y otra mala.“Vera, I have good news and bad news.”

- Bueno... dígame primero la buena.“Well then, . . . tell me the good news first.”

Los resultados del análisis indican que le quedan24 horas de vida.

“The results of the analysis indicate that you have 24 hours left to live.”

Pero, bueno, ¿eso es la buena noticia? ¿Entonces cuál es la mala?

“Well, that’s the good news? Then what’s the bad news?”

Que llevo intentando localizarle desde ayer.“That I have been trying to reach you since yesterday.”

***********************

Doctor, doctor, no puedo recordar nada.

“Doctor, doctor, I can’t remember anything.”

Vaya, y desde cuando tiene usted este problema?

“Wow, and how long have you had this problem?”

¿Qué problema?

“What problem?”

Hacer publicidad de su Iglesia, llamada a

Ruben (256) 829-8537

Por favorapoye sus

comercianteslocales!


ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Your love of the holidays creates a special bond between you and the people in your life. Use this as a way of building stronger relationships that will carry over well beyond this time.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A new ap-proach could go a long way toward resolv-ing a painful estrangement, especially at this holiday time. And since your aspects favor friendship this week, why not go ahead and try it?

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Your posi-tives continue to dominate, and any nega-tive factors that squeeze in can be dealt with easily. The secret is to tackle them at once and not allow them to benefit by your ne-glect.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Good news: A colleague’s remarks could help you move toward ultimately resolving that persistent workplace situation. Meanwhile, enjoy the holidays with loved ones.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) No one reflects the bright holiday more than all you Leos and Leonas who love the shimmer and glim-mer of the season. P.S.: There just might be a very special something from Santa.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Cele-brate the holidays by being more receptive to new experiences. Overriding the Virgo reluctance to try new things could be the best gift you’ve given yourself in a long while.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Good news about a loved one makes the holidays even more festive. Expect some unexpect-ed gifts, so be prepared with a few nicely wrapped packages of goodies to offer in re-turn.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) The holiday season provides an opportuni-ty to meet new people, some of whom you might even consider “worthy” enough to join the Scorpio’s select group of friends.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to Decem-ber 21) You always bring your own won-derful sparkle and light to the holidays, and don’t be surprised if this year someone spe-cial reaches out to respond to your warmth in kind.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Togetherness is the dominant theme for the Goat’s holiday celebrations this year. That means reaching out to bring everyone you care for into your very own special cir-cle of light.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A reminder of a very special moment from the past makes the holidays more memora-ble for the romantic Aquarian. New friend-ships hold the promise of a romantic future as well.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Get-ting into the swim of things for all you par-ty-loving Pisceans is easy enough this holi-day season. And, of course, you can expect to impress people wherever you go.

BORN THIS WEEK: You are respected for your honesty and loyalty. You make friends slowly -- but with rare exceptions, they’re in your life forever. (c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.

Please Support Your Local Merchants!

Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids!

*****************As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”

*****************Q: Why do seals swim in salt water?A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!


Pumpkin Patch Bars If you’re not already part of a cookie trade, why not start one this year -- with healthier cookies and bars? Get two or three friends together, each bring two differ-ent kinds of cookies or bars, and then you all go home with six different kinds.

Ingredients1 (15-ounce) can solid packed pumpkin

1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce1/4 cup water

1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon reduced-calorie marga-rine

2 eggs or equivalent in egg substitute1 3/4 cups reduced-fat biscuit baking mix

2 teaspoons baking powder1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

Sugar substitute to equal 3/4 cup sugar1/2 cup chopped walnuts

3/4 cup raisinsDirections 1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Spray a 9-by-13-inch cake pan with butter-flavored cooking spray. 2. In a large bowl, combine pumpkin, applesauce, water, margarine and eggs. Add baking mix, baking powder, pumpkin pie spice and sugar substitute. Mix well to combine. Stir in walnuts and raisins. Pour batter into prepared cake pan. 3. Bake for 45 minutes or until a toothpick insert-ed near center comes out clean. Place cake pan on a wire rack and allow to cool completely. Makes 12 (2 bars each) servings.

• Each serving equals: 161 calories, 5g fat, 4g protein, 25g carb., 133mg sodium, 23g fiber; Diabetic Exchanges: 1 Starch,

1 Fruit, 1/2 Fat. (c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.

Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids!

*****************As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”

*****************Q: Why do seals swim in salt water?A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!


ing a free-ride giveaway simply by register-ing at Food Value in Douglas, Guelaguetza Bakery and Novedadas la Reyna, both in Albertville. For other locations to register, phone: Diamond Limousines at 256-829-8537. There will be a drawing for a winner every 2 weeks. If you have a special need for a limousine, such as to give a home-bound citizen an opportunity to take a ride in style, please call Ruben at the above number for a free ride. (Whether your special need qual-ifies for a free ride will be determined by Mr. Barahona when you speak to him. But don’t be shy to call; Mr. Barahona is a very kind and empathetic man.) One other thing I should mention is that Mr. Barahona has recently been assist-ing us at the Nifty Pickle as our Spanish in-terpreter and Editor of the Hispanic section of the paper. We are grateful for his help and grateful to be working with such a fine, congenial man. Remember to call Diamond Limou-sines at 256-829-8537.

Continued from Page 1

Riding in Luxury

Watch for the Brand New Issue of the

Nifty Pickle coming in late January!


Please Support YourLocal Merchants!

ence so far, being on Dialysis is tolerable but certainly no fun. However, taking my treatments three times a week is far better than the alternative. And in case you didn’t know about the kidneys, without Dialysis, you can’t live without them. On January 9, 2015, I will be going to Nashville, Tennessee and spending the day at Vanderbilt University Medical Center to be evaluated for a transplant. They want to be sure that I’m not dying from some-thing else before they agree to put me on the transplant list. It’s my understanding that there are well over 100,000 people current-ly on the list so it will most likely take years to actually get a new kidney. I’m keeping a positive attitude about it, regardless of how it goes. I really appreciate the support and encouragement that I have received from all of my family, friends and readers of the Nif-ty Pickle. It means a lot and knowing that you really do care will help me through it all, whatever the outcome. Now, let’s get back to the Nifty Pick-le and briefly talk about what’s going on with that. Of course, I mentioned earlier that we had a new logo and we are running a contest to Name That Pickle. I believe we will have a lot of fun with that so please enter the contest and you may come out the big winner. Because of everything that is going on with my health, I have decided to post-pone printing the Nifty Pickle for about 3 to 4 weeks. This will give me time to get all of the testing done that is required by Vander-bilt. Also, this will give me time to make a few changes (improvements) to the Nifty Pickle. We started with the new logo but I have several other ideas that I would like to implement that will make the Nifty Pickle a much better publication. I also have plans to revamp the website, www.niftypickle.com, as well as our Facebook page and other so-cial media avenues. Once again, I appreciate the sup-port and kind words from our readers and advertisers concerning the Nifty Pickle. I am excited about what the New Year will bring for all of us. If you have any sugges-tions, questions or concerns about the Nifty Pickle, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Happy New Year!

Continued from Page 1

New & ExcitingChanges Coming To The

Nifty Pickle in 2015



PleaseSupport

Your Local Merchants!

CREEL AND POSSESSION LIMITS AND SIZE LIMITS Detailed information on creel and possession limits and size lim-its is provided. Please familiarize yourself thoroughly with this informa-tion. You should also notice that size limits for the various fish species are not the same on all public waters. Be sure and check this information for each body of water you plan to fish. Should you have questions, you may contact any Wildlife & Freshwater Fisheries Division Fisheries Bi-ologist or Conservation Enforcement Officer or call (334) 242-3471 for assistance.

USE OF BREAM FOR BAIT All species of bream may be used as bait as long as a person does not have in his possession total bream numbers in excess of the daily creel limit, regardless of size, and they are harvested legally. Other na-tive game fish may not be used for bait.

SALE OF GAME FISH It is unlawful to sell or purchase any game fish from Alabama or in Alabama from another state except (1) game fish raised in hatch-eries and sold for stocking ponds and lakes; (2) non-native game fish (trout, salmon, etc.) raised for human consumption or (3) largemouth bass, shellcracker, yellow perch and bluegill bream raised in farm ponds, which may be sold under permit from the Wildlife & Freshwater Fisher-ies Division. Contact your local District Office.

TROTLINES It is illegal to (1) fish trotline or snag line within 25 feet of the bank unless the end of line is tied or anchored with at least six feet of 100 percent cotton line (untreated), and (2) fish a trotline, snag line, set line, commercial fishing net, slat boxes or wire baskets within one-half mile below any lock, dam or powerhouse. Nonresidents fishing trotlines are limited to 100 hooks total.

WIRE BASKETS Wire baskets may be used only in certain counties to harvest nongame fish for personal consumption only. Persons holding a com-mercial fishing license may not fish with wire baskets. No fish taken in wire baskets may be sold or offered for sale. All game fish taken in the baskets must be immediately returned to the water. All baskets must be clearly marked with the valid wire basket license number and name of person using and owning the basket. It is illegal for any one person to fish with more than four wire baskets. Consult the Wildlife & Freshwater Fisheries Regulation Book or local Conservation Enforcement Officer to determine number of baskets and locations where wire baskets are legal.

When you’re roughing it in the great outdoors, a hearty breakfast is in order. We turn to the classics: pancakes, bacon, and eggs, cooked in a cast iron skillet over an open fire.

Ingredients3 1/3 cups CHOW All-Purpose Baking Mix

1/2 cup toasted pine nuts1/2 cup currants

2 cups beer (any pale lager such asCorona, Budweiser, or Heineken)

2 large eggs1/4 cup vegetable oil, plus more for cooking

Butter and maple syrup, for serving

Directions 1. Combine baking mix, nuts, and currants in a large bowl and mix until evenly combined. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and add the beer, eggs, and vegetable oil. Stir dry ingre-dients into wet ingredients until just moistened. (Don’t overmix or the pancakes will be tough. The batter should be lumpy.)

2. Heat a cast iron skillet over medium heat on a camping stove or over a campfire fitted with a grilling grate. Test to see if the pan is hot enough by sprinkling a couple of drops of cold water in it: If the water bounces and sputters, the pan is ready to use; if it evapo-rates instantly, the pan is too hot.

3. Add 1 tablespoon oil to the pan and swirl to coat. Ladle about 1/4 cup batter into the pan for each pancake. (You should be able to fit 3 to 4 pancakes at a time.) Cook until pancakes rise slightly and form lots of bubbles on top, about 3 to 4 minutes. Flip and cook on the other side until bottoms are golden brown, about another minute.

4. Repeat with remaining batter, adding 1 tablespoon oil between batches if the pan seems dry. Serve immediately with butter and maple syrup.

Campfire Beer Pancakes


Pitted Nails Reveal

Psoriatic Arthritis

Gifts for Seniors Who Have Everything

Seniors have acquired so much “stuff” over the years that we have near-ly everything we need ... and more. If you’ve held off buying a gift for a senior in your life because you don’t know what to get someone who already has every-thing, here are a few gift ideas that would be most welcome. • Coupons for cab rides, or gift certificates for restaurant meals, laundry services, auto detailing, spa day or hair salon services. • Gift basket created especially for your seniors, such as gourmet food, cheese, jams or chocolate. Or consider a subscription to a quarterly or monthly gift club. Options range from fruit bas-kets or flowers to bacon, coffee and ci-gars. • Pay for a year of cable TV, the daily newspaper, magazine subscription or Netflix. •T wo tickets to a play or other event where you’ll accompany your se-nior, or a pair of movie passes so your senior can take a friend. • Pay for a senior’s lifelong learn-ing class, either at the senior center or nearby university, and arrange for trans-portation. • Put together a box of useful things, like stamps, note cards, address labels, batteries, razor blades and cal-endar with large print. Include a list of important phone numbers printed out in a large font that can be taped to the in-side of a cupboard door. (Keep the file and make changes whenever your senior needs to update it.) • Make single serving meals for the freezer. • Don’t leave out your own partic-ipation and that of your children. A small coupon book full of services you can do year round, such as cleaning, painting a room, weeding the garden, raking leaves and checking expiration dates on food in the cupboard all will be appreciated. What do seniors really want most? The gift of your time.

Matilda Charles regrets that she cannot personally answer reader questions, but

will incorporate them into her col-umn whenever possible. Send email to

[email protected].

(c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.

DEAR DR. ROACH: I am a 77-year-old male. I had to stop playing golf about two years ago due to joint pain. I had psoriasis from age 15 until I was 40. I am retired from the Navy and had to be hospitalized twice during my time in service due to my skin. Why it dis-appeared at age 40, I don’t know. Is it possible that I could have psoriatic arthritis? One doctor I saw said that I had to have psoriasis in order to get it. I saw that you said that sometimes the ar-thritis shows up before the skin lesions. Can it show up after you have quit having the lesions? -- Anon.

ANSWER: Indeed, psoriatic arthritis can show up years after psoriasis starts and when there are no skin lesions. Often, pits in the nails or other nail changes are seen in those with psoriatic arthritis.However, having psoriasis doesn’t protect you from other types of arthritis, such as osteoar-thritis or rheumatoid arthritis. Since psoriatic arthritis is so destructive, you should see an ex-pert, perhaps a rheumatologist. The arthritis booklet discusses rheuma-toid ar thritis, osteoarthritis and lupus. Readers can order a copy by writing: Dr. Roach -- No. 301W, Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. Enclose a check or money order (no cash) for $4.75 U.S./$6 Canada with the recipient’s print-ed name and address. Please allow four weeks for delivery.*** DEAR DR. ROACH: About 10 months ago, my husband noticed a small “bleb” on the skin near his right hip area. He used “tag away” and alcohol swabs daily; however, the area is a giant 2-inch-diameter “blotch” with an open

sore in the middle. He insists that it is almost gone. I am afraid that it is skin cancer, very se-rious and that it needs to be checked out by a dermatologist. How do I get him to go? -- P.K.F.

ANSWER: Please tell him that I think it sounds like it might be skin cancer, such as a squamous cell carcinoma, and that he should see a dermatologist immediately. Some peo-ple have an immense capacity for convincing themselves that nothing is wrong. The sooner he gets an evaluation, the better.*** DEAR DR. ROACH: I am a veteran and have had digestive problems (GERD and gastritis) since I came back from Vietnam in 1968. How closely related are these disorders? -- J.R.O.

ANSWER: GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) is very, very common, and re-fers to the passage of food and acid backward -- from the stomach into the esophagus. The gen-eral cause of GERD is a relative weakness in the lower esophageal sphincter, the muscular, valvelike structure at the bottom of the esoph-agus. Gastritis is an inflammation of the lining of the stomach. Both of these terms often are used im-precisely, as a guess at what might be causing nonspecific stomach pains. With such a pro-longed course, it would be wise to make sure of your diagnosis, as your symptoms actually might be caused a different condition, such as an ulcer or infection by the bacteria H. pylori, which would require different treatment.***Dr. Roach regrets that he is unable to answer individual letters, but will i n c o r p o r a t e them in the column whenever possible. Readers may email questions to [email protected]. To view and order health pamphlets, visit www.rbmamall.com, or write to P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475 (c) 2014 North America Synd., Inc. All Rights Reserved


Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed. Psalms 6:2 I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Psalms 16:8 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. Psalms 16:9 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. Psalms 16:10 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for ever-more. Psalms 16:11



Wordsearch ContestWin a $50 Gift Card... Find the Advertisers listed below and tell us which page that their ad was found. Mail this entire page to us at PO Box 1161 • Guntersville, Alabama 35976. Deadline is January 5, 2015. (Date of Puzzle: December 25, 2014)

Find these names:alabamacraftshowalanjacksonbottomlinewebdesignbrigittesclothingcustompestcontrolfullcolorprintingincarerxjoespawnshopmcclendonauctionhousemcclendonwholesalenickkirstjdqslowsmokedrigginsunlockservicetradebankwlcaccounting

HOW TO PLAY: On this entry form you will find some of the businesses ad-vertised in this issue. Simply browse the Nifty Pickle, look-ing for these advertisements. When you find them, record the page number on which you found their advertisement in the space provided on this en-try form. Then, find and circle that business name in the word search puzzle. Once you have located all of the advertisers listed, complete the entry form and mail this entire page to the address shown above. Your entry must be re-ceived by January 5, 2015. We will then draw one entry from the group of correct entry forms and announce that win-ner in the January 22nd issue. Incorrect or incomplete entry forms will be disqualified. All decisions by Nifty Pickle, Inc. are final. There will be only one winner for this contest each week. GOOD LUCK!

Name:________________________Address:________________________City, State, Zip________________________Telephone:________________________Email Address:________________________

Page Numbers:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Winner of the December 4, 2014

Wordsearch Puzzle Contest isA. Gillian

of Albertville.Congratulations!


Would you like to see your pet featured in the Nifty Pickle?Jot down some information about your pet (name, personality, some-thing funny, tricks it can do, etc.) and send it along with a photo to Nifty Pickle Pet Pix, PO Box 1161 Guntersville, Alabama 35976, email to [email protected] or bring it by the office at 7032 US Hwy 431 in Albertville (next to Merle Norman).

Who Wants ToTell About Their

Favorite Pet?


ACCOUNTING, PAYROLL, CONSULTING, BOOKKEEP-ING and Much More. Call James at WLC ACCOUNTING 256-673-8190. 7032 US Hwy 431 in Albert-ville... 3 Doors Down from The Nifty Pickle Variety Store.

ALABAMA CRAFT SHOW Selling Year Around Crafts hand-made by local artists. Custom or-ders welcome. Piper Station, Boaz. 256-996-4945.

BOTTOMLINE WEB DESIGN Web Sites starting at ONLY $29.95 per month. Call 256-673-8190.

BRIGITTE’S CHILDREN’S CLOTHING 403 Martling Road, Albertville. 256-744-8404 or 256-506-5853. Family owned business Specializing in Boys and Girls Clothing Sizes Newborn to 14.

CUSTOM PEST CONTROL Termite and Pest Services. We Guarantee Our Service! No Con-tract, No Commitment... Just Dead Bugs! 256-593-6613

JOE’S PAWN SHOP 11411 US Hwy 431 in Albertville. Buy, Sell, Trade, Pawn. Open 8am - 6pm, 7 days a week. 256-894-9994. See Our Ad In This Issue of the Nifty Pickle.

McCLENDON AUCTION HOUSE Returns and Shelf Pulls from ALL Major Box Stores. Open Monday - Saturday 9am until 5pm. Sale on Saturday and Thursday at 6:30pm. 702 Chastain Blvd West, Glencoe. 256-492-5333.

McCLENDON WHOLESALE Buy It By The Pallet. Returns and Shelf Pulls from All Major Stores. Great for Auctions, Trade Day, Yard Sales, etc. Open Tuesday - Friday 9am until 4pm. Claybrook Road in Albertville. Call Charlie at 256-477-3914 for more informa-tion.

Q SLOW SMOKED BBQ 106 South Main Street in Old Down-town Boaz. If you love BBQ, then you will love REAL Q-slow-smoked with natural hardwoods. 256-281-9699. See our ad and cou-pon in this issue.

TRADEBANK The Smarter Way To Barter®.Save Cash on Business and Personal Expenses. See our Ad in this issue or call JW at 256-673-8190.

PRIDE MOBILITY ELECTRIC Z CHAIR. Only used a few times. Only $495. Call 256-593-6796 be-tween 8am - 2pm.

KARAOKE EQUIPMENT FOR SALE. Amp, Speakers and stands, Microphones, All necessary Cords. $850 obo. Call James at 256-673-8190.

Place Your Yard Sale Ad Here. Only $5 per week for up to 30 Words. Mail your ad and payment to Nifty Pickle, 7032 US Hwy 431, Albertville, AL 35950 or you can come by the office located at that address. The deadline is every Monday at Noon.

FOR RENT in Albertville Shop-ping Center on Hwy 431. Best location in Albertville. 3,500 or 7,000 square feet. Large parking lot with lights and 4 exits and en-trances. All businesses in Shop-ping Center doing good business. Call Fred Taylor at 256-878-8383 or 256-878-2552.

CLASSIFIEDS $5 each week for 30 words or less. 10¢ each additional word. Mail your ad and payment to Nifty Pick-le, 7032 US Hwy 431, Albertville, AL 35950 or you can come by the office located at that ad-dress. The deadline is ev-ery Monday at Noon.

Thank You

For Reading

The Nifty

Pickle Each

Week!

Please Support Your Local Merchants!

Knock Knock:Who’s there?2:302:30 who?I made a dentist appointment cause my “tooth hurty.”

Knock Knock:Who’s there?EskimoEskimo who?Eskimo questions, I’ll tell you no lies!

Knock Knock:Who’s there?OdorOdor who?Odor In ThisHere Court!

Watch for the Brand New Issue of the

Nifty Pickle coming in late January!


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