www.theweeklybean.ca (306) 825-5694 or e-mail: [email protected]November 17, 2014 Leading Economic Indicators The former chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Ber- nanke, revealed at an October conference in Chicago that even though his post-govern- ment income will be several times what he earned as Fed chairman, he was nonetheless rejected recently when he tried to refinance his Washington, D.C., home. Mortgage-lending is so highly computerized, he was told, dictated by formulas, that he apparently got caught in an algorithm. Despite a proba- bly-seven-figure book contract and six-figure public speeches, he is no longer “employed” in a steady job, which apparently caused a computer program to signal him as too risky. [New York Times, 10-2-2014] New World Order: In September, Dr. Sean Perry of the Marathon (Fla.) Veteri- nary Hospital saved the life of Buttercup, an orange tabby who needed blood--by giving him a transfusion from a West Palm Beach dog blood bank. Accord- ing to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, 62 cats have been known to receive such “xe- notransfusions,” and cats are apparently the only animals (besides dogs) that can safely process dog blood. [Keynoter (Key West), 10-4-2014]
The former chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Ber-nanke, revealed at an October conference in Chicago that even though his post-govern-ment income will be several times what he earned as Fed chairman, he was nonetheless rejected recently when he tried to refinance his Washington, D.C., home. Mortgage-lending is so highly computerized, he was told, dictated by formulas, that he apparently got caught in an algorithm. Despite a proba-bly-seven-figure book contract and six-figure public speeches, he is no longer “employed” in a steady job, which apparently
caused a computer program to signal him as too risky. [New York Times, 10-2-2014]
New World Order:
In September, Dr. Sean Perry of the Marathon (Fla.) Veteri-nary Hospital saved the life of Buttercup, an orange tabby who needed blood--by giving him a transfusion from a West Palm Beach dog blood bank. Accord-ing to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, 62 cats have been known to receive such “xe-notransfusions,” and cats are apparently the only animals (besides dogs) that can safely process dog blood. [Keynoter (Key West), 10-4-2014]
THINGS WE LEARN FROM KIDS
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can’t walk on water.
VCR and DVD players do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
Vic Juba Community Theatre presents “Don’t Dress for Dinner” within their Dr. H. A. McDonald Season on Nov 19-21. Dinner tickets are available. Cocktails begin at 5:30 pm, dinner service starts at 6:00 pm, with the performance starting at 7:30 pm. This comedy is performed by Vic Juba Community Players and directed by Matt Newman under the mentorship of Wendy Collins. The cast includes Cornelius Krahn who performs the role of Bernard (the husband), Nadine Walker-Perry who performs the role of Jacqueline (his wife), Dave Woods plays Robert (Bernard's friend), Joelle Collins plays Suzanne (Bernard's mistress), Candace Scobie performs the role of Suzette (the cook), and Ben Acquaye plays George (Suzette's husband). Bernard is planning a romantic weekend with his mistress in his charming converted French farmhouse, while his wife, Jacqueline, is away. He has arranged for a cordon bleu cook to prepare gourmet delights, and has invited his best friend, Robert, along too to provide the alibi. It's foolproof; what could possibly go wrong? Well.... suppose Robert turns up not realizing quite why he has been invited. Suppose Robert and Jacqueline are secret lovers, and consequently determined that Jacqueline will NOT leave for the weekend. Suppose the cook has to pretend to be the mistress and the mistress is unable to cook. Suppose everyone's alibi gets confused with everyone else's. An evening of hilarious confusion ensues as Bernard and Robert improvise at breakneck speed. “Don't Dress for Dinner” is a two-act play by French playwright Marc Camoletti, who wrote the farce Boeing-Boeing. The play has been adapted for English audiences by Robin Hawdon. This production is performed by special arrangement with Samuel French. Performance only tickets are $25 (adults) and $5 (students) (Recommended for ages 14+). Roast Baron of Beef dinner tickets are $35. For tickets, please contact the Box Office at 780-872-7400, Monday to Friday, 9:30 am to 3:30 pm.
Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when
the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.
At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years,
at the same place and renew the experience.
Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and
before long came upon a brook.
One of the men said to the other, “This is the place!”.
The other replied, “No, it’s not!”.
The first man said, “Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side.
To which the other man replied, “Silly, you can’t tell a brook by it’s clover.”
Baby Bean17.11.14
Wednesday
Mar. 19
www.thevillagepregnancytoparenting.com
Programs and support for your pregnancy, birth, postpartum and parenting journey
FoodVille * Crochet Corner * The MotherHoodBirth Cafe * Healing Mama’s group
Nursing Moms group * workshops * events
MARCH 13TH - 14TH
2015
LLOYDMINSTER & AREA’S PRENATAL AND FAMILY TRADESHOW.
www.thebelliesandbabies.comWanted: Vendors, Sponsors, Local talent, AdvertisersContact for more information 780.522.1685 [email protected]
10 tips for fathers: birth and beyond
1. Bringing baby home and looking after mum You went into hospital a couple and have come home a family. There's a third person in your relationship now, and that can be hard to get used to. A new baby can put a huge strain on any relationship. Having a new baby in the house is not a learning curve, it's a learning cli�. There's the stress of doing lots of things for the �rst time, the lack of sleep, her hormone levels changing and her recovery from the physical exertions of labour to deal with. Take timeto help with all the extra’s like housework and other tasks.2. Infants are fans of motion.They love it and crave it, and need it. They love to be held, jostled, bounced and jiggled. There is good reason for this. Movement helps infants develop everything from their brains to their sense of balance. When you hold your baby, give them a feeling of security, but not too tight or too loose. Don’t be afraid to hold and sway and bounce and cuddle. Learn what he or she likes and cultivate that motion. You want to be the one with that magic touch when baby needs a motion magician.3. Be responsive.A reach, a look, a cry, anything your little one does to make a connection with you should be honored. Remember — they are just learning how to be in the world. Let them know you appreciate their e�ort. Studies have shown that parents who are responsive to their infant’s cries and needs help them develop better communication and language skills. It makes sense. If you know you are being responded to, you look to make that process more e�cient.4. Don't say you're babysitting. The mother of your child may be too tired to catch this slip but any woman who has had more than 20 minutes of consecutive sleep is going to do a slow, Chucky-head-turn and hiss "You're not babysitting. You're parenting." In your defense, I totally understand this statement. If you're not the primary caregiver and you're stepping in to take care of the baby then you are technically babysitting. Terms like "Daddy Duty", "On call" and "At the helm" are always safer alternatives.5. As the kids grow tips for busy fathersMake use of the time before school – do the school run. Travelling in the car is a good opportunity to talk. Prioritise your leave – take all of your allocated vacation time and spend some quality time with your kids. Leave love notes for your children; on their pillow, in their lunch or in a special spot.6. Keep your promises.As your child grows and as you develop as a family, remember that dads have to be absolutely certain to do one thing: keep their promises. If you promise your spouse you are going to be home at 6:30 p.m., make that the priority in your life that day. As your child grows, these promises to him or her become the backbone of your relationship. Deliver on what you promise and the ease and security of the relationship will evolve. 7. Understand that daughters are not the same as sonsDads need to be able to tell their girls regularly how beautiful they are, inside and out.Daughters get signals from their dads about how they can expect to be treated by men. If dad treats her with respect then her bar of respect will be set high and she won’t put up with crap from men — if he doesn’t, then she is vulnerable. Indeed fathers have a profound e�ect on the likelihood that a girl will grow up and have a successful long-term relationship with a man. Indeed the No.1 factor that determines the level of con�dence a woman carries into her adult life is the relationship that woman had with her father.8. Help kids understand that they are specialEvery child is special and once they realise how special they are, all sorts of things happen. They don’t need to put other kids down (they are free to appreciate how special other kids are). To help kids understand their specialness you need to understand what it is about each of your children that is unique. It may be their personality, their talents, the way that they show kindness, interesting things that they have done, pathways they have chosen to take, or many other things. It is much more e�ective to identify those speci�c things and encourage the child in them than to use empty phrases such as “you are awesome” — kids spot that sort of hollowness very quickly.9. Look inwardConsider your expectations. Spend some time with your partner and some veteran parents you admire discussing what you expect fatherhood to be like, and why. Talk about your relationship with your own father and how that has in�uenced your expectations of what fatherhood will be like. Tackle your fears. Seek healing for unhealthy baggage from your past. . Figure out what issues you need to work on. Then address each one speci�cally, working to change to become a healthier person for your child. Seek help from a professional counselor or support group10. Embrace this time. Fatherhood, though exhausting and frustrating at times, is an amazing gift that will completely change your perspective and teach you to appreciate the really important things in life, such as alcohol, brief respites in the bathroom, baby sitters, and cat naps at work, to name but a few. Good luck and enjoy every minute of it! After all, in just 18 years or so, they’ll be all grown up!
www.birthritelloydminster.org
Doula Services & Prenatal workshops
When you change the way you view birththe way you birth will change-Marie Mongan
Register for a class orBook your FREE Doula meeting today!
C H AT T E R SH A I R | B E A U T Y | S A L O N
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7 8 0 . 8 7 5 . 8 7 0 25 2 11 - 4 4 s t . | L l o y d m i n s t e r , A B
THIS MONTH’S
EXCLUSIVE
SERVICE
November
FREE GIFTWITH
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Book your appointment today!
November at The Village Pregnancy to Parenting
4702 56th Ave LloydminsterThe FatherHood
A casual group for fathers to be, new fathers, fathers of few
or fathers of manydiscussion and ideas to add
to your own tool kit November 26th 7pm
A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
~Annon.
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Ponder These Funnies
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly,
“So which six items would you like to buy?”
Wouldn’t it be great if that happened more often?!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and
placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her
father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Three friends from the local congregation were asked “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what
would you like them to say?
Artie said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”
Eugene commented: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives.”
Don said: “I’d like them to say, “Look, he’s moving!”
Staff Get TogethersBirthday Parties
Stags & StagettesSchool Activites
Book Your Party Now!!
5744 - 44 St Lloydminster780-875-0110 or 780-872-9677
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WISE WORDS FROM PRIME MINISTERS AND PREMIERS
For me, pepper, I put it on my plate. ~ Jean Chrétien ~
I’m not going to play politics on the floor of the House of Commons. ~ John Turner ~
I am so excited about Canadians ruling the world. ~ John Diefenbaker ~
I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind.
~ John Diefenbaker ~ (From the Canadian Bill of Rights, July 1, 1960.)
Our hopes are high. Our faith in the people is great. Our courage is strong. And our dreams for this beautiful country will never die.
~Pierre Trudeau ~
Americans should never underestimate the constant pressure on Canada which the mere presence of the United States has produced. We’re different people from you and we’re different people because of you. Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an
elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is effected by every twitch and grunt. It should not therefore be expected that this kind of nation, this Canada, should project itself
as a mirror image of the United States.~ Pierre Trudeau ~
1957...REMEMBER?* “I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, its going to
be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.00.”
* “Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long when $5,000 will only buy a used one.”
* “If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.”
* “Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?”
* “If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hireoutside help at the store.”
* “When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car
in the garage.”
* “I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some
fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.”
A new nurse listened while Dr. Blake was yelling, “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!”
The new nurse asked another nurse,
“Why is he doing that?”
The other nurse replied, “Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here.
MONSTER IN A VILLAGE
Out far away in the Himalayas there was a small village that was constantly terrified by this terrible monster named the medecrin.
The medecrin would come down to the village once a week & eat one of the villagers. Now, as you would guess, the population of the village decreased greatly after a few
months of this, so, the chief of the village called forth the greatest hunter he could get & told him to hunt
down & kill the medecrin.
So, after much talk, the hunter finally agreed to kill the medecrin. But the hunter, being smart, decided he would have to trap the monster to kill it, figuring he would get eaten if
he faced it head on.
So he looked in his Himalayan Monster Field Book & found out that medecrins like sugar, so he ordered all the villagers to dig a deep hole & fill it with all the sugar in
the village.
Later that week, the medecrine came down to the village. When it went after it`s usual meal, it saw the pit of sugar, looked at it a moment, & then went after another villager.
After the medecrin left, the chief called up the great hunter, & scolded the hunter for failing, but the hunter convinced the chief to give him another chance, & the
chief agreed.
The next day, the hunter looked back to his Himalayan Monster Field Book & found that medecrins like loons even more than sugar.
So the great hunter went out, caught a loon, & placed it in the pit with the sugar. Now, it turns out that loons like sugar even more than medecrins, so the loon ate up all the
sugar. So, a few days later the medecrin returned on time for it`s villager feast.
But, as it was heading for the village, the medecrin saw the pit with the loon. The medecrin immediately became hungry for loon, so it climbed down into the pit & ate
the loon. But, as soon as it finished the loon off, it fell over, deader than a doornail.
The moral of the story?
A loon full of sugar helps the medecrin go down.
Another busy day
at the office.Get expert advice today.
1.866.825.3301
Who said this?
1) “Willy Wonka is not a father figure! If that’s your idea of a father figure, yikes. Willy Won-ka’s a weirdo.”a) Freddie Highmoreb) Johnny Deppc) Tim Burtond) Gene Wilder
2) I’ve never agreed with psychiatry, ever. Be-fore I was a Scientologist, I never agreed with psychiatry. Here’s the problem. You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do.”a) Tom Hanks b) John Cleesec) John Travolta d) Tom Cruise
3) “Everyone told me to pass on ‘Speed’ be-cause it was a ‘bus movie’.”a) Beth Grantb) Keanu Reevesc) Sandra Bullockd) Dennis Hopper
4) “I race historic muscle cars back in Australia. And I try to race home as soon as I’m finished
a movie but don’t tell anyone.”a) Eric Banab) David Wenhamc) Russell Crowed) Heath Ledger5) On why she will never do a nude scene: “I just don’t feel that my algebra teacher should ever know what my butt looks like.” a) Julia Roberts b) Nicole Kidman c) Sandra Bullock d) Renee Zellweger
6) “I’m one of those people you hate because of genetics. It’s the truth.”a) Colin Farrellb) Brad Pittc) Jude Lawd) Tom Cruise
7) “Now I can wear heels.” a) Sandra Bullockb) Nicole Kidmanc) Renee Zellwegerd) Angelina Jolie
1. c, 2. d, 3. c, 4. a, 5. a, 6. b, 7. b
* You use more calories eating celery than there are in the celery itself.* At - 40 degrees Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.* At least 2 people die every year from vending machines falling on them.* In 1933, Mickey Mouse, an animated cartoon character, received 800,000 fan letters.* Nerve impulses to and from the brain travel as fast as 170 miles per hour.* The shortest British monarch was Charles I, who was 4’9”.* The mother of Michael Nesbit of ‘the Monkeys’ invented liquid paper correction fluid.* About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30. * The adjective “metopic” pertains to the forehead.* The skin of the armpits can harbor up to 516,000 bacteria per square inch.
FROM A NEW TEACHER...
Let me see if I’ve got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids, & fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. Not only that, I’m to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, behaviorally modify disruptive behavior, & observe them for signs
of abuse. I am to fight racism, patriotism, the war on drugs & sexually transmitteddiseases, check their backpacks for guns & raise their self-esteem. I’m to teach them good citizenship, sportsmanship & fair play, how & where to register to vote, how to
balance a checkbook & how to apply for a job, but I am never to ask if they are in this country illegally. I am to check their heads occasionally for lice, maintain a safe
environment, recognize signs of potential antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment & scholarships, encourage a respect for the
cultural diversity of others, and, oh yeah, teach, always making sure that I give the girls in my class fifty percent of my attention. I’m required by my contract to be working on my own time (summers & evenings) & at my own expense towards additional certifica-
tion, advanced certification & a master’s degree, to sponsor the cheerleaders & the after school programs. I am to attend committee & faculty meetings & participate in staff
development training to maintain my current certification & employment status. I am to be a paragon of virtue larger than life, such that my very presence will awe my students
into being obedient & respectful of authority. I am to purchase supplies, room decorations, bulletin board supplies, supplies for children who can’t afford them, & luxury
items such as scissors, glue, scotch tape, paper clips, note book paper, red pens, & markers with my own money as there is no money in the budget for these items. I’m to do all of this with just a piece of chalk, a few books & a bulletin board, & on a starting
salary that is on the low scale of the national average?
Is that all?
Please join us...
Christmas by the SeaChristmas by the SeaDessert Night & Fundraiser For The REFUGE!Dessert Night & Fundraiser For The REFUGE!
Friday, November 21NewLife Community ChurchDoors Open 6:30 pmTickets: $10.00/person
Tickets Available From:Amy Leschinski 780-522-9961VersesNewLife Communnity Church306-825-4444
God is working miracles through His ministry in Ensenada, Mexico, The Refuge. Come for our Dessert Night & Fundraiser to hear about some of the ministries and the ways that you can be involved.
• Home for abused/disadvantaged girls• Visiting Groups• Building Projects• Children’s Food Program• Migrant Camp Ministry
Randy, Sandy Huebert & The Team
Friday, November 21NewLife Community ChurchDoors Open 6:30 pmTickets: $10.00/person
Tickets Available From:Amy Leschinski 780-522-9961VersesNewLife Communnity Church306-825-4444
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Highlights from the Nov. 10, 2014 regular City Council meeting
• Staff Sergeant Suki Manj was formally welcomed to the City and recognized as having achieved the rank of Inspector.
• Council approved the appointment of two new Peace Officers, Sonia Joyal and Kim Polsfut, as well as one new Bylaw Enforcement Officer, Brad Martin.
• The second and third reading of the Lloydminster Planning District Official Community Plan Bylaw (31-2014) was approved. The policies of the Official Community Plan addresses the need for future land use planning in the planning district area as well as other matters related to its physical, social and economic development.
• City Council awarded the Mechanical Wastewater Treatment Facility Preliminary Design to ISL Engineering & Land Services of Edmonton, AB for a cost of $1,739,900.00.
• The 25 Street at 53 Avenue Traffic Signal tender was awarded by Council to Can-Traffic Services Ltd. of Sherwood Park, AB for a cost of $181,594.00.
• Council authorized administration, pursuant to the terms of the Electric Distribution System Franchise Agreement, to submit a request to ATCO Electric Ltd. for an increase in the franchise fees from 10.5% to 11.0% to be effective January 1, 2015. The increase is projected to raise approximately $140,000 for the City and these additional monies will be dedicated to up dating current HPW street lights to LED. The project will take multiple years to complete and will save up to 60% in energy costs for the street lights. Franchise fees paid to the City are reflected on each power bill generated for consumers within the boundaries of the agreement. The impact to a residential customer using 625 KwH per month and based on July 2014 rates would be approximately $0.49/month.
• City Council approved the first reading of the following bylaws – Refuse Collection (39-2014) and Landfill Use (37-2014) to regulate the collection of curbside and commercial refuse, and usage of the Lloydminster Sanitary Landfill. The new Refuse Collection Bylaw was drafted using the public feedback provided via the Keeping it Green Survey. Conducted in August 2014, the survey gauged resident satisfaction and enabled the City to learn how curbside waste and recycling services could be improved. The complete findings of the Keeping it Green Survey are available for review online at lloydminster.ca/green123.
For city council minutes and agendas, visit lloydminster.ca and click on ‘Government.’
The next regular City Council meeting is Monday, Nov. 24 1:30pm in Council
Chamber.
The relatives of the family’s wealthy aunt gathered for the
reading of her will after her long awaited death.
“Being of sound mind,” read the lawyer, “I spent every last cent
