Eccentric Doesn’t Begin to Cover It #7:

Cult of the Flamingo God

An OWBC

Welcome to my OWBC once again. Rules can be found at boolprop.com.

When last we left them, the Boolprop clan had just left for Uni. Recognize this guy? It’s Albert—Goopy’s alien son—being influenced to do term papers!

What, you think the Boolprop kids do their own work? You are refreshingly innocent…

Onoda started Uni before any of his siblings, so his first job was to move into the Greek House. It was boring. Start in a dorm, schmooze with the placeholder, get invited in. Clean up. Weed the garden.

Feed the cowplant.

“I was thinking more along the lines of feeding Moo the annoying dormies, actually. They don’t cost anything! It’s economical!”

Onoda pledged his siblings Bentham and Oseola in. Britney had to wait ‘til the triplets were all in the Greek House, because Onoda hates her and refuses to pledge her in. So that means that at any given time, Onoda is ahead of Oseola and Bentham who are ahead of Britney.

Bentham seems relieved he’s no longer in danger of having to Go Steady with anyone. He only has to worry about engagement, marriage, and babies.

“Eeep!”

First order of business, of course, is to schmooze the Secret Society. While you’re at it, invite your professors over so you can schmooze with them too.

Bentham has no intention of doing any studying. So far as he’s concerned, university’s only purpose is fulfilling one’s 20 Woohoos LTW.

Oseola isn’t too keen on studying, either. Hey, why do your term paper when you’ve got zombie slaves to do it for you?

I think the profs are going to get just a little suspicious if Oseola and her Political Science major keep on turning in papers on neurology, though.

(Yep. There’s still a zombie epidemic in this neighborhood. To recap: The Zombie Apocalypse hack lets zombies attack and eat brains, turning others into zombies. They do it autonomously, too. MATY.)

This scene was typical of the first few semesters at college.

Oseola chats up Monkey Boy in her underwear. I have no idea how he got into her underwear.

Britney hangs out with Albert, her teenage boyfriend, Goopy’s son.

Bentham schmoozes the prof.

Where’s Onoda, you ask?

Here, usually.

Or cleaning the kitchen, or making the grilled cheese, or tending the garden, or (*gasp*) actually doing his homework!

Hey, that’s unprecedented in this house.

It can get a little tiring...

Actually, y’wanna know a secret about Onoda? I swear he does this because he likes to feel superior to his “lazy” siblings…

*snore*familysim.*szzznore…

Yeah. Family sim. With zero nice. You are one odd duck, Onoda.

Onoda is the first to get kidnapped.

“WTF chicken dance?!”

“I hereby arrest you for being entirely too serious!”

Bentham gets his three Secret Society friends in a… different sort of way.

Actually, though, Bentham really only needs two SS friends. Onoda counts as the third.

Oseola only needs one.

Britney also only needs one SS friend. She’s already friends with Oseola and Bentham.

This is a good thing.

Britney is a popularity sim who loves to make enemies. And, apparently, she never fears making enemies, or else never fears it except with the people she’s already friends with, because it never seems to affect her aspiration any.

“Fighting is fun!”

Apparently, Britney is really not attracted to the cheerleader.

Brit, dear, they have 10 Body. I am not responsible for what happens to you if you actually barf on her.

“Lady, if I hear one more Gerbit, you are getting fed to the cowplant!”

“I won’t Gerbit, then! I’ll just stalk you and your family until the end of time!”

And she does.

“Who, me? Making my brother cry? What ever could you mean?!”

Pink dress or not, Britney, you are SO not innocent…

Britney still has the same tendency to get stuck playing music until she’s green-fuming and exhausted.

If I ever lose track of her, I only need to check the nearest musical instrument.

“I’m a prodigy!”

Yeah, sweetie, I think you’re a little old to be a prodigy now…

Mean sims don’t get mad… they get even!

Onoda is apparently not taking Britney’s abuse lying down.

Or maybe she isn’t taking Onoda’s abuse lying down? I forget who started it. It’s kind of like asking which uranium atom set off the atomic bomb.

Also, that sounds kind of wrong.

Umm… look! Britney’s glitched through the table!

“So, Professor, what do you say to a few dates, a hot woohoo, and an A-plus or three?

“Hmm… I shall have to consider this very carefully…”

“…Okay. I considered it. Let’s proceed.”

Bentham sleeps his way to the top of the class.

Yes. We are aware he is not actually sleeping, thank you. We do not wish to know any more than that.

Finally Oseola couldn’t take it anymore, and went to Influence her brother to apologize to her sister.

“Oh, Britney, I can’t imagine what I thought I was doing! I’m so sorry you’re such a lazy good-for-nothing piano-obsessed freak!”

…yeah, that didn’t work.

Apparently long-term enemies don’t get unmade with one apology. Who’d’ve thought?

The Boolprop kids are having their usual nightly party when Moo decides she’s peckish.

Most students would have been busy studying when Moo had her snack. The Boolprop kids? Fat chance! (Except for Onoda, who as usual does all his own work. Well, he does all his own grade hacking, anyway.)

Meanwhile…

“No way am I making out with you! Here, let me kiss you romantically instead!” Poor Professor. Apparently she is caught between her morals and her love for the hot Romance guy…

“We have multiple personalities, actually.”

Ah. Good to know.

Aren’t quasi-legacy kids supposed to hate the cow, not the llama?

“Hey, I’m the bad apple. It’s called ‘bucking tradition’. You should try it sometime.”

Are you calling me unimaginative? I would be really hurt if you thought I wasn’t creative! Incidentally, I just remembered we’re doing Ghost Hunt…

“Uh… you’re the most creative writer I’ve ever met?”

I knew you’d see things my way.

Well. We’ve got to save this party score somehow, and rejected multiple-professor makeouts just aren’t helping things.

“I can’t believe you resurrected me!”

I can’t believe the party score still sucks! I mean, we just yanked you from the jaws of Death itself, which is kind of like yanking somebody from a pep rally but not as heroic, and the party score still sucks!

Monkey boy. Move out. Now. And yeah, I hated pep rallies.

Onoda seems to have finally found the love of his life. The Contessa is equally happy.

Wow. Family and Pleasure. Who’d’a thunk it?

“Actually, being into world domination is a big turn-on.”

Well, that explains it.

Something else that’s a big turn-on:

“That sleazy brother of yours? Ugh, no way!”

I begin to see the wisdom of your choice, Onoda. She’s probably the only one Bentham hasn’t boinked by now.

“Contessa, ever since I saw your beautiful face, I have loved you. Let’s rule the world together! Will you marry me?”

“Yes! Yes! And we will have the best parties, and lots of pillow fights, and…”

Just a note here:Onoda’s LTW: Golden Anniversary.Onoda’s love: Vampire.

Poor Onoda.

Why, hello, Stalker Cheerleader with a Crush.

“How dare you get engaged to my Onoda! I know you think he was only using me for Social while he waited for his siblings to go to college, and I know you think there was nothing to that autonomous flirt, but it was real, I tell you! Real! He’s my true love!”

Umm… so apparently Cheerleader with a Crush gets aspiration points for slapping Onoda or something…

Stop bawling, Onoda! You have no nice points! You’re not supposed to cry! She said yes, didn’t she? It’s supposed to be the happiest moment of your life!

“I wanted my engagement to be *(snif)* perfect! And she’s ruined it!”

Family sims...

“How dare you get engaged to my brother! I’m supposed to get engaged first! I’m the older sister! I’m perfect and I’m way better than your undead butt!”

“Britney! How dare you attack my girlfriend!”

*yawn*

Yeah, another Britney/Onoda fight. I really don’t keep count of these anymore.

Of course, while Britney was attacking her fiancé, the Contessa decided to get herself a snack.

“Bleh!”

“Bleh!”

Welcome to the world of the undead, Oseola. Skankwear and dyed hair are obligatory; sorry about that Oseola.

Hey, at least I didn’t make you wear a Victorian dress, right?

So what does the Contessa do after dragging sweet little Oseola past death and into an unnatural semblance of life?

Well, the favored pastime of vampires, as it turns out, is not plotting each others’ demise, enthralling poor mortals, or even becoming angsty private detectives with dark pasts. Nope. It’s pillow-fighting.

“Sleep all day, pillow-fight all night? This is my kind of life!”

Sean’s Zombie Containment Unit has now been turned into a crypt for Oseola. Here, she can cook the family’s grilled cheese, sleep in her coffin, and energize after running to class and back.

Oh, and after being really stupid.

Oseola seems to be having difficulty adjusting to the undead lifestyle.

“My bladder bar is halfway empty! I need to go to the potty!”

So you somehow forgot the fang marks on your neck?

“…why is my skin burning?”

“I’m hungry…”

Coffin. Now.

“My grade bar is full, but I still somehow find the need to go to class!”

Uh, isn’t there something you’re forgetting?

“…why is my skin burning?”

Does “vampire” mean anything to you?

“I’m hungry…”

Coffin. Now.

“Just let me check my e-mail; then I’ll go right back to bed…”

What part of “undead” do you not understand?

“Hmm… do I smell something cooking? Britney knows she isn’t allowed to try making any more lobster thermidor…”

Arrrgh!

“I’m hungry…”

Coffin. Now.

“Ooh, butterflies! I love butterflies!

Apparently, somebody has not read any vampire legends lately. They ALL say you come out at night and sleep in your freaking coffin during the day!

“…why is my skin burning?”

Butterflies, Oseola? Are you suicidal? Do you have terminal ADHD or something?!

“…I’m hungry, stinky, lonely, bored, uncomfortable, and tired!”

Energizer. Now. Then coffin.

Also, the door to your crypt is getting LOCKED during the day.

No, you cannot have the key.

Oseola arrived at the Secret Society uneventfully, despite somehow having switched from the back to the front seat of the limo during the drive.

“Uhhh…. Chinese fire drill?”

For non-US: A Chinese Fire Drill is a pejorative expression usually referring to a prank, or perhaps an expression of high spirits, that was popular in the United States during the 1960s. It is performed when a car is stopped at a traffic light, at which point all of the car's occupants get out, run around the car, and return to the car (not necessarily their original seat). –Wikipedia (So if you can’t call it Chinese, what are you supposed to call it? --Me)

On her way into the building, Oseola passed Monkey Man, who was apparently cheering at nothing.

She went in to counterfeit a few Simoleons (hey, who doesn’t need money, right?)…

(One can pocket said money by buying some art objects with it, inventorying the objects, and selling them at home.)

…only to find Monkey Girl standing behind her and cheering at nothing.

Oseola tried talking to the cheering Secret Society members, but they wouldn’t acknowledge her. So she had some juice instead…

(At home, Oseola is always stopping Britney from beating people up and doesn’t have much time for enjoying juice. The juice in question, Orangeade, gives Oseola a leg up on her badges.)

…and outside, Monkey Man cheered on, oblivious.

Oseola finally gave up on him and went home, planning to never come back.

Having peace and quiet to drink your juice (or “juice”) is all well and good, but these people were very, very weird…

Bentham, meanwhile, has been doing his best to seduce everything on campus.

“Oh, Bentham, I think I’m in love!”

Yup, you and a half-dozen others.

The ol’ “woohoo in the photo booth” trick lets Bentham double his woohoo count.

“So many girls! I can’t decide!”

“So, like, I just can’t decide what major to declare…”

“Hmm. I know—I’ll take both!”

Bentham, like most of my ostensibly-straight romance sims, starts rolling wants for his own gender sooner or later. Just goes to show: All sims are bi.

“Hey, doubles the possible playing field!”

Streaker: “Oooh, hot romance sim DOES swing my way!”

Bentham: “Final exam now? Oh, well, I can skip it…”

“So. Public woohoo.”

“Yep. Public woohoo.”

“Mmhm. Yep.”

Awkward.

“Ooh, baby, I want to steal you away like a child who’s been jumping on his bed!”

(How did I get the social worker as a date? Answer: The business perk “Power Network” put her on Bentham’s contact list. You can even talk to the Repo Man, the cooks, and other usually no-contact NPCs that way.)

“You can kill my cockroaches anytime!”

…uh… I do NOT want to know what that euphemism is supposed to refer to. Also… Carmen Patch? Whaaa!? How desperate are you for that permaplat?

“Uhh… no. Even I have standards.”

Good to know. I was wondering.

Oops! Busted!

But who’s the one who’s just caught our local Romancer?

“I can’t believe you’re sneaking around behind our back!”

This coming from a professor who seduces students in exchange for grades. If you and Bentham ever had a scrap of morals between you, it’s been long ago misplaced.

“One of my other personalities stole it, actually.”

What, your morals?

“My sanity.”

Here comes the Romance Sim Appreciation Society!

Oh, and one pissed-off professor carrying a bag of poo.

Or, y’know, whichever of the Prof’s personalities that happens to be pissed off enough to carry said bag-o-dung, anyway.

“I wish for a romantic interest that isn’t Carmen Patch, a streaker, a Cheerleader with a Crush, a cow, a zombie, or my sister.”

Hmm. High standards, eh, Bentham?

Ah. Heather Huffington.

Yes, I can see why she’d be your perfect love interest… she is every bit as skanky as you!

After Bentham has a little photobooth woohoo, Heather Huffington gets drafted to do Oseola’s term paper. Most visitors get drafted to do her term papers, actually. I imagine them holding little support group meetings…

“And then… and then she made me change the font again!”

“It’s all right… let it all out… we’ve all been there…”

Oseola does absolutely NONE of her own work. Half the campus has done her assignments for her.

Professor Wacky just cannot stay away from the hot romance sim.

“We can’t help it! We love him!”

“No! We hate him!”

“…what!? My grades are depending on the whims of a professor who can’t decide which personality she is today?!”

Yep. ‘Fraid so, Bentham.

Tip: If you let profs catch you cheating while your grade bar’s still empty, you can max it out when you make up!

If you’ve already woohooed the prof a couple of times, there’s always grade hacking.

Best way to do it: Line up a bunch of grade-hacking actions, then wait for the threat level to rise above minimal. When it does, cancel the action. Your sim immediately restarts hacking, with the threat level back down at the lowest level!

Get caught? Quit and inventory the computer before they take it.

Boolprop House is the center of the wildest parties around.

This isn’t one of them.

This is.

“Britney, do you MIND? I’m trying to reach the toilet here!”

“Well, excuuuse me! I’ve been throwing up all day. Did you know sandwiches aren’t supposed to have flies on them?”

“Uhh… hey… naked guy here! Is anybody paying any attention?”

“…so, I guess nobody wants to watch my juggling act?”

Parties at the Boolprop House really get hot!

No, I mean HOT!

No, really hot!

Arrrgh, no! Not that kind of hot! A “The flamingos are on fire and the party score is dropping into the negatives!” kind of hot!

The Romance Sim Appreciation Society stops its bouquet spam to freak out at the fire and glitch a dozen roses through its torso.

Bentham saves the day… but who will save the party score?

It’s Britney to the rescue!

“I wished for really good friends and I got them!”

Yes. Now say goodbye to the social bunny and save my party!

“Oh, Alegra, I am in Romance sim heaven!”

“Oh, Bentham, isn’t it wonderful to find true love?”

Yep. Especially ten times.

Check off one LTW: 20 WooHoos.

While Bentham’s making love, Britney’s making war.

In my game, Alegra and this girl are roommates. One can only imagine the stories they’ll have to tell each other tonight.

Aaack! Britney! No!

You have no commands left!

AND THAT IS NOT A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH!

Oseola has to risk a Sunburn of Extreme Ouchies to clean up after Britney.

Britney, dear, are you attempting to murder your sister?

“Why, whatever gave you that idea?”

Here’s what Britney is doing when Oseola gets back.

Mercifully, it’s dark outside this time. Oseola whips out some inventoried Grilled Cheese to distract Britney while she dumps the Thermidor.

And you wonder why we go through so many Energizers around here…

Onoda, you put that piece of pizza down right now, mister!

My sims are conspiring against me.

And now… the moment you’ve been waiting for!

Who will be the heir—the next to carry on the Boolprop name?

…et tu, Oseola?

“Nah, just click off on the ‘Visit Campus’ and the pizza disappears.”

I shall.

Oh, and you’re heir.

“Goody.”

“So I stick my head in this thing and I get to be more influential than anybody on campus?”

Yep. More or less.

“Wheeeee!”

Hey, I wasn’t lying. This is the easiest source of Influence in the entire Sims world.

Grilled cheese sims ALWAYS want to talk about grilled cheese.

Talk about Grilled Cheese can be queued up repeatedly.

One plus one equals… very influential.

…or it would, if anyone in this family were Nice enough to talk to Oseola about her new obsession.

For some reason, Albert and his nine points worth of diabetic sweetness get invited over a lot more often nowadays.

Frustrated after a day of trying to evangelize her mean siblings, Oseola goes to her coffin to sleep…

“…What? I don’t remember coming here! And how am I not a vampire anymore?!”

Ah. This, Oseola darling, is the Chapel of Flamingos and Cheese. Here, you will achieve enlightenment.

“What the… What kind of weird dream sequence is this!?”

Just roll with it, kid.

“Uhh… so… Flamingos. Yeah.”

Okay, so, long ago, there was this flamingo god…

“What? Where’d the random flamingoes come from?”Not important. Dream, remember?

Anyway, there was this flamingo god, and he was the protector of this ancient tribe, right? And your family are their distant descendants? And the flamingo god gave them unimaginable power?

“Heather Huffington, is that you? ‘Cause that voice has distinct Valley Girl overtones to it.”

Sorry, wrong story. In this universe, she’s just a garden-variety skank, so you’ll have to do with your usual Narrator. As for Grilled Cheese goddesses, well…

The flamingo tribe spent a long time fighting their bitter enemies, the Clan of the Social Bunny, and they had almost won when the Social Bunny stole their Flamingo powers. Eventually, there was only one member of the tribe left, and he knew he had to carry on the legacy of the…”

“No. Freaking no. I am NOT into lawn living.”

Cool it, kid. No legacies. Well, kind-of-no legacies.

Continuing on. Your distant ancestor—

“Distant enough not to be recognized as family? Because I’m not liking where this is going…”

No incest. I promise.

Anyway, your distant ancestor discovered the power of cheese. Don’t ask me how it works, because I don’t know.

So, after a long search, he studied the ways of Cheese in an ancient monastery.

“…monastery?”

Yeah. They’re pretty standard. Anytime you want to learn something majorly magical, you have to go find a lot of little old men who know a lot about it. Trust me. It’s tradition, and you just don’t mess with tradition, especially when the little old men can kick your butt.

Anyway, your ancestor discovered an ancient prophecy…

If three heirs of the Flamingo Tribe achieve Grilled Cheese Enlightenment, the powers of the Flamingo God will return to them.

“Aren’t prophecies supposed to be written in poetry, or something?”

You want flamingo powers or not?

“Uhh… I want flamingo powers?”

I knew you’d see it my way.

As if in a daze, Oseola found herself cooking and eating grilled cheese sandwich after grilled cheese sandwich.

After grilled cheese sandwich. After grilled cheese sandwich.

Sometimes she sensed the presence of something decidedly… bunnylike.

She ignored it. The grilled cheese was the world. The whole world was grilled cheese… the whole cheese was… cheese… grilled cheeeese…

“…whoa! That was one weird dream!

…why is my waistline suddenly gone?

…and why do I feel suddenly… enlightened?”

Say hello to the Boolprop Clan’s second Platinum Grilled Cheese sim.

Oseola, treadmill. Now.

“So I met the Flamingo God, and we have to have two more generations of grilled cheese lovers, and we can get our Flamingo Powers back!”

Britney: Don’t look at her, and you won’t catch the crazy… don’t look at her, and you won’t catch the crazy…

Contessa: “Oseola, how could you! I thought you were an adherent of the Cult of the Vampiric Pillowfight!”

Inventing religions: A Sims tradition.

So it’s getting to be Onoda’s senior year, and sweet little Oseola just can’t take one more Britney/Onoda fight. Time to break out the heavy artillery.

Britney: “Mmm… strawberry juice…” Onoda gets a glass, too. Then Oseola invites them both to hang out for a while. Multiple times.

Near the end of that semester, with lifetime relationships out of the negatives, it’s time for the heavy Influence work. Thank you, Albert, for the maxed-out influence bar.

Influence to Entertain.

Influence to Play With.

Influence to Write My Term Paper. (What? Three guests, three triplets… it’s serendipity!)

Thank goodness they have maxed body points. These two evil sims are all too fond of slinging that baseball as hard as they possibly can.

“We’re not best friends.”

“Nope. Not best friends at all. Never.”

And Oseola observes it all from the back of the party, watching people do her term paper and making sure Onoda and Britney get along—or else.

I’m seeing her gain points for her Political Science major. Maybe this is her senior project or something…

“How I United the Warring Nations of Britney and Onoda.” A-plus.

“So… world domination?”

“Oooh! You are sooo hot!”

“Well, actually, my body temperature is…”

“Shut up and woohoo me!”

Onoda’s Biology degree and 4.0 GPA pretty much guarantee him a cowplant the second he takes a job as a Natural Scientist.

His adult face is pretty much the same as his YA appearance.

Onoda is going home quite a while before everybody else. They’ll have to manage without his brotherly maid service for the rest of their college careers.

Ha! See this cap and gown? You know what they mean? Whichever of your personalities just got mad at me again can’t hurt my grades!

Why, yes. Bentham has indeed graduated.

During his entire college career, he attended three classes and two final exams and influenced somebody to do his term paper twice.

Art major. GPA? 2.9. Graduated. Barely.

He’s still got the Nose, but it’s not too bad now. He’s kind of grown into it, don’t you think?

Well, either that or I’ve gotten used to it. Y’know, that’s probably it. I’m in Nose Denial. Comfortably so.

Bentham will not be returning to the Boolprop family house because a severe glitch trapped him at his business lot. I had to make him selectable on another lot to let him graduate, and I don’t want him to end up glitching my entire house if it happens again. He’ll be happy enough in his bachelor pad, I think.

After a successful graduation party, Oseola graduates.

Political science major, GPA 3.5. I don’t think she did any of her own work, but at least she attended classes, unlike a certain Romance sim we might mention.

Welcome to adulthood, Oseola. You will now return home, leaving your sister Britney to finish up her last two semesters, graduate, and invite Albert in to placehold… all on eight commands a day.

Good luck, Britney!

This is not getting off to a good start.

Clue, Britney: The green is NOT food coloring.

“I wanted to worship the Flamingo God, not the Porcelain Deity!”

Huh. And here I thought you figured YOU were a deity…

“Weak? FAT?! How could you?! I’m beautiful! I’m perfect!”

Uhh… Banned4Lyfe much?

“Bad touch! Bad touch!”

Stalker Cheerleader With a Crush is at it again.

Two signs the Cheerleader is certifiable:

One. Look out that window. Cowplant.

Two?

THIS is the person she’s stalking.

Can this get any worse for poor Britney? Well, yes, yes it can.

I mean, the cheerleader was bad enough. But being stalked in your own bathroom by the Social Bunny?

“Not another term paper….”

Oh, Britney. I know just how you feel.

“Nooo… I’m going to be a blubbering wreck and I’m going to end up in an Asylum Challenge dancing in a lampshade! None of this ever happened until the triplets left!”

And what does that tell you, Britney, hmm? Do you suppose, perhaps, that maybe they might have been helping you out all these years?

“No, stupid! It means I’ve been without someone to beat up for much too long! I need some stress relief!”

Ah, yes. Silly me.

“Aaah! My virgin eyes!”

…hmm. That gives me an idea.

Britney, if you are willing to accept some suggestions for raising your aspiration score a little…

“Hmm… I think… mmmph…. Shall take it into… mmph… consideration…”

And the creepy purple hearts return to tell us Britney and Albert have… well, I’ll leave that one to your imagination.

Suffice it to say she’s no longer in danger of aspiration failure.

“Oh, Albert, thank you for saving me from the lampshade! I really owe you one!”

“I think I know how you might be able to repay that favor…”

And I thought the cow was supposed to be the inappropriate one!

“…Greek House! I want to join your Greek House!”

Britney graduates with a Philosophy major. How this will help her become a Celebrity Chef, nobody knows, but we assume it will.

Also: 4.0. With a Bad Apple. Booyah!

Of course, since Britney has managed to play herself into exhaustion on the nearest musical instrument, she goes to sleep in the middle of her graduation party and grows up in her underwear.

And she’s really grown into The Nose, too! Really, I don’t think it’s denial this time. I guess The Nose is a bit softer on females.

Britney’s graduating, Oseola’s sitting in the sim bin, and Onoda has been at home for a while. Looks like the end of a chapter.

Will Britney ever learn that you don’t make friends by beating them up? Will Oseola ever gain the Flamingo Powers of Grilled Cheese? What will the girls find when they get home to see their brother?

Well, here’s the answer to one of those questions… but you’re going to have to wait for the answers to the rest!

Until next time!