Pacifying Content Book 1

8/7/2019 Pacifying Content Book 1

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Like the sun warmsWhen he speaks, his words spread rays.

And whatever numbing cold harmsDisappears with the shivering grays.

And when I was able to

Feel and genuinely laugh againHe continued to shine through

And I knew that life would never Bring me down to zero again



Chapter 1

It was an unusually cold day for spring in Georgia. Winter had been over for a month and the official day of spring had passed. I had no idea why I was stillwearing a wool pea coat in the middle of May. Maybe it was the new decade.Maybe it will bring on major weather changing patterns and alternate like thespeed of life was seeming to go for me.

Just a year ago I thought I was set on the right track. I was graduating fromundergrad and had who I thought was the most loving and genuine man in my life.There was a magnificent picture being painted. And I was not painting it alone. Itwas turning out to be beautiful, but like this unexpected cold in the middle of

spring, my hopes for a beautiful future with the one I hoped would love me forever and who I could love forever dissipated. My lovely painting was destroyed.

As life calls for it, if you continue to wake up each morning, you must moveon with your life. No matter how painful it is, or how cold it is, you must put onyour wool pea coat, suck it up, and keep moving until your time expires. That¶swhat I did.

Even though the weather was not fit for animals to come out as this time of the year would¶ve normally called for there were an interesting number of squirrelsand birds frolicking about. Seeing this gave me some kind of hope for warmer weather soon. Commuting to work every morning in the cold weather was reallystarting to become taxing. As I should have been able to just start my car and go,

but still having to take extra time out to let the car warm up before leaving wasgetting old. I hated leaving out for work before the sun came up. But it couldn¶t behelped.

As I waited for the car to warm up I lied my head back on the headrest andsighed. I could still see my breath as it escaped my mouth. Nope, still not warm

yet. I put my shivering hands up to the heater. Cold air blew out and made myhands even colder. A low growl rumbled in my chest. This was so annoying. Infrustration, I hit the steering wheel with my almost numb and cold fist. Ouch!What a stupid thing to do! Seems like whenever you hit a cold limb on a hard



object, it causes the pain that shoots up from the impact to feel10x worse thannormal. I thought it was supposed to be numb! I guess not.

I heard a laugh from outside of my car. I looked up with my throbbing fist between my teeth. I was biting and breathing on it to try to warm it up a bit andmake the pain go away a bit. Just outside my window I saw that same dog thatalways saw me off to work and home at night standing beside my window. Thisdog was never here when the sun was up. He only seemed to show himself in thedark. He didn¶t look like a normal homeless dog. He had the most beautiful thick

black and brown fur coat. His coat had a shine to it. He looked groomed as if hehad an owner who cared enough to take care of him. His eyes were dark, andsilvery with a black ring on the outside of his pupil. Made his eyes look like it wasmade of winter. I had never touched him, though I wanted to, just to see if he felt

like winter.

He was huge. He was bigger than any other dog I had ever seen. If I hadtruly believed in fairy tales, I would have thought he was something else. From thelaugh I thought I had heard from him, I would have believed it even more. Butwhen I looked up and saw it was him with his big tongue hanging out of his mouth,teeth showing, and seeing him pant like a happy puppy, I knew it wasn¶t what Ihad thought at all. He stared at me almost like a human would if he had anything tosay. It was almost as if he wanted to tell me something with the way he was

peering in at me with that doggie grin on his face. He fogged up my car windowwith his pooch breath, just staring in at me. I was amazed at how tall he was evenon all fours. This dog was face to face with me, but thank goodness we were onopposite sides of the window. Sometimes his size intimidated me. Right now, withhim this close, the closest he had ever been, I felt a bit uneasy.

It still sounded like he was laughing at me through his grinning pants.Feeling self conscious, I quickly removed my hand from my mouth. It was warmenough. When I removed it, he tapped his nose against my window. It made a loudthumping noise that startled me. A yelp escaped my mouth. Then he barked loudly

at me. I put on my seat belt and made sure my windows and doors were locked.His barking continued. I didn¶t feel afraid, just anxious somehow because this dogwas now really trying to get my attention, and it was terribly abnormal. He jumpedup on my window and hit it forcefully with his paws.



³Stop it! Get down!´ I shouted.

He backed away when I shouted, but continued to bark at me. As soon as he backed away I pulled out of the parking space and zoomed out of the complex. Icaught my breath finally when I couldn¶t see the dog or the parking area anymore.What was that all about? I thought to myself. That was weirder than usual. Anyother time that dog would just be there staring at me. He never got close to me or even barked. But for some reason today he decided to get close and in doing thatshocked and almost scared me. So many emotions ran through me as I continued todrive down the street.

When I was finally at work the sun had began to rise. I was almost relievedto see the sun even though the rays that came down did nothing for the icy breeze

that was blowing and chilling me to the bone. I sat in my office with my sweater wrapped around me, trying to get warm. I looked out of the window and looked upat the sun.

³Come on. Start doing your job. I¶m so sick of everything being so cold andrough,´ I said the sun as if it could understand me. I looked away and shook myhead disappointed.

Just then my cell phone rang and from the caller I.D. I saw it was you. Ianswered your call and was glad to hear from you. You had been gone for only 3months, but it seemed like forever. Our trip to the beach with our friend Abe wascoming up in 2 days and we were psyched. This call was either going to confirmyou were coming, or disappoint with the opposite.

³Hey!´ I said, sounded almost a little too thrilled.

³Hey,´ you said with a slight chuckle.

I blushed knowing you must¶ve known how anxious I was from the way I

had answered the phone. I composed myself. ³So what¶s up?´ I asked.

³I¶m coming,´ you confirmed.

You couldn¶t see the big grin on my face and thank goodness.



³I will be there on Friday. I¶m sorry I had to let you guys know at the lastminute. School has been crazy and I just started this new job. I didn¶t think theywould even give me the weekend off,´ you explained.

³No worries. I understand. I¶m just glad you can make it. It¶s still cold downhere. So I have no idea what the weather is going to be like on the beach. But whocares! We all need this vacation. I don¶t care if we have to wear our coats on the

beach and just stay out of the water.´ I always said way too much when I wasexcited.

You didn¶t care. You never seemed to mind when I ran off with words. You just went with it. ³Yea I know,´ you said. ³It needs to start warming up. It doesn¶t

matter though. We will still have fun and at least we will get to be together.´

³Yea....´ I let out a low sigh.

When you said ³be together´ I knew you didn¶t just mean us all hanging outlike old friends. You meant us to continue on with dating and even possibly

becoming a steady couple. After all, it had been almost 6 months now that I hadagreed to date you, but it took a long time for my heart to heal. And it wasn¶texactly like the former person I was painting a picture with only a year ago was outof my life. But you knew that. And what I loved about you is how you would notgive up on what you wanted until you knew it was completely over and you didn¶tstand a chance anymore.

³I can¶t wait to see you,´ you said in a soft and gentle voice. It sounded sogenuine.

³It¶ll be fun,´ I said, trying to keep my composure.

³I can¶t wait to hold you again,´ you continued.

³....´ I couldn¶t respond. What I was thinking was how cold it was, and howsome warm arms around me would definitely help. But I just couldn¶t get anywords out.



³I can¶t wait to kiss...´

³I have to go.´ I said. ³My boss is here.´

³Oh,´ you said. ³Okay well I guess I¶ll see you tonight.´

³Tonight?´

³I mean on Friday,´ you cleared up.

³Yea I will see you Friday. What time?´

³I will be there in the evening.´

³Okay I have to go. Take care.´

³Bye. I love...´

I quickly hung up the phone as my boss walked in my office and said goodmorning. She approached me with a stack of resource cases that she wanted me tohandle. As she was explaining each one I couldn¶t help but think about the comingweekend. Your wants were very clear and I did not object. The last time I had beenheld and the last time I had been kissed was 3 months ago by you. I rememberedthat feeling as you said goodbye. Trying to keep my composure to not show thehurt. My best friend was leaving. He was going far away back home to New York.And there would be no more late night video games and lazy Sunday moviewatching. There wouldn¶t be anymore last minute and random hang outs becauseyou weren¶t 15 minutes away anymore. I didn¶t let you see me cry. I just let youkiss me and I held onto you for as long as it was possible until you had to go.



Chapter 2

The day didn¶t seem to warm up as it moved along. By the time it was 5o¶clock and I was getting off of work the sun was setting like it did in the winter.The weather was beginning to worry me. It shouldn¶t have been getting dark soearly.

I pulled into a parking space in front of my apartment building . Cautiously Ichecked out of the windows to make sure I didn¶t see that dog. I didn¶t see histhick black and brown fur or hear his laughing barks in the darkness so I took achance and stepped carefully out of my car. I walked at a steadied pace with myeyes and ears on alert. When I reached the stairwell and began to climb up them Ifelt safe. Glad to be home, I sighed in relief as I took one last step to the top of the

2nd

floor where my front door would only be a few feet away. I laughed at myself for being so scared. Really, I thought to myself, you have nothing to be afraid of.It¶s not like the dog would just be waiting for you to come home or somethingstrange like that. I had been looking down at the keys in my hand, fumblingthrough them to find the one that would let me into my apartment. I walkedtowards my door laughing out loud.

My laugh was interrupted and I was stopped in my tracks. Large gray eyes peered at me from in front of my door. His coat of black and brown fur puffed outwith a glorious glow in the dim light. His eyes were almost silver with the black ring lining it just to accent how deep they were. He stood on four legs, tall, muzzleout, mouth closed, and ears up and blending with his coat. He didn¶t look menacing just standing there staring confidently. It almost looked as if he wassmiling. Nonetheless, he was intimidating. His size was outrageous. This dog, nothis creature was right in front of my door and he was waiting for me to move.

My first thought was to run. But I knew that even if I tried to turn aroundand make a break for it, he¶d be right behind me and no doubt he would catch meand have me for dinner. So I stood as still as I possibly could. The only way I knew

how to get through to people was listening and talking. He wasn¶t going to sayanything, so I took it upon myself to speak. Perhaps he could be reasoned with, Ithought to myself. I stayed in place at the top of the stairwell and tried not to look longingly at my front door, but keep eye contact with him.



³Hey there fella,´ I said in a shaky voice. I tried to smile.

He tilted his head curiously and seemingly amused.

³Yea...´ I mellowed my voice more. ³It¶s alright. Don¶t eat me. Okay?´ I began to move forward with my door key ready in my hand.

He opened his mouth and his long tongue dropped out.

At the site of his teeth I felt fear creep inside of me. I wanted to run away, but I felt I may have been doing okay and getting through to him. He moved back away from my door as I moved closer to it. I was getting there slowly, but surely. Ikept my gaze on him as he gazed at me.

³Oh please don¶t eat me. Please don¶t eat me.´ It sounded like I waswhining and begging instead of trying to reason with this pooch.

He laughed his barking laugh at me with his tail wagging and tonguehanging out.

³Ha ha.´ I nervously laughed. ³Yea that¶s funny isn¶t it. Scared girl want toget home and you get to terrorize her every day and night. Ha ha yea that¶s justgreat.´ I kept moving.

He must¶ve realized I was trying to get inside because as soon as I reachedthe door he then moved towards me.

³No! No!´ I shouted while I tried to quickly put my key in the lock. In doingso I ended up dropping my keys.

He barked louder. I bent down to pick up my keys, scared, and anticipatinghis attack. But when I stood up with my keys I saw that he had sat down on his

haunches and he was staring at me with the big open mouth doggie grin. He barkedagain.

³Are you laughing at me?´ I said to him.



He blinked at me and panted, smiling, and beating his ridiculously large and

fluffy tail on the ground.

³You¶re huge fella,´ I told him. ³What does your owner feed you? What doyou eat?´

I started to calm down at bit once I saw that he wasn¶t interested in movingfrom where he sat. He was being entertained enough by my clumsiness due totrying to hurry to get away from him. He didn¶t seem to mind. He was making itvery clear that he was not leaving from in front of my door and he had nointentions of eating me. I was only scaring myself.

³You don¶t eat humans,´ I laughed.

He stood up quickly and stiffened his ears and tail. I froze. He looked at me,I looked back. His eyes became slits. His pupils widened. His muzzle pulled back and exposed his canines. They were long, white, and so sharp looking I was surehe could rip the throat off of a bear with them.

My heart thumped so fast I could feel my chest moving. At that moment Iwould swear that my skin was the only thing keeping all of my insides together.

He growled low, but powerful enough to send shivers through my body.

³Okay. Maybe you do eat humans. But please don¶t...´

He stepped forward and looked away from me. He walked towards the stairswith his restraining pose and ready to attack stance still intact. He stared out intothe darkness and continued to growl as if someone was out there. While he wasdistracted, I turned the key in the lock and quickly opened the door. Soon as hesaw me rush through the doorway he turned to me and barked loudly. I slammedthe door before he could move an inch towards me. I locked the door in a hurry

and stared amazed and shocked at the closed door.

He continued to bark loudly outside my door. What was out there thatcaused him to become so agitated? I didn¶t know, but I was glad to be inside myapartment and away from whatever madness was going on outside.



I was shaken and needed to calm down. Even though I did get worked upfrom the scare with the extra large doggie I was still shivering from the cold. It feltcolder in my apartment than it did outside. I kept my coat on and went over thethermostat and turned on the heat. Soon it blasted on with full force, pushing thestored cold air out and sending the heat through.

It was taking a while to warm up so I decided to take a warm bath. When Iwas in the bath tub with the bubbles and the steamy and soothing water I began tounthaw. My skin felt warm and soft under the aromatic bubbles. White Gardeniawas the best for winding down. I lied back and closed my eyes. I let my mind drift.

³I can¶t wait until Friday,´ I said with a longing moan. I rubbed my handsgently over my knees and up to my hips. ³Mmmnnn,´ I moaned as I slid my hand

up higher. My hands went over my hips and to my stomach, up my torso, over my breasts, and then up to my shoulders. My fingers tickled my shoulders then I glidedthem easily and smooth around my neck to the back where I loved to be stroked.

I felt myself shiver a little from a breeze that swept over me. I gave myself asqueeze with my arms wrapped around me this way. ³Mmmnnmm,´ I moaned. ³Ireally can¶t wait for Friday. My goodness!´ I sighed while I rubbed my neck andshoulders more.

I continued to caress my neck with one hand and moved them over to myface. I stroked my cheek with the tips of my fingers and moved them to my lips. ³Ineed to be kissed so badly,´ I whined. ³So...so..badly...´ And then I thought of you.I thought of your hands caressing me, your arms holding me, and your lips onmine, just the way you said you wanted them too.

I allowed myself to be vulnerable this way when I was alone. I kept onrubbing my lips softly and kissing the tips of my fingers while I permitted the other hand to wander down from my neck to the areola of my breasts. I could do thisalone. It was safe.

I moved my hands down to my stomach then to my pelvis and rubbed whereit was completely smooth and soft. It felt nice. ³Oh my goodness. I miss you somuch,´ I cried. I felt a tear come out of my eye. It was safe to be alone and long for



these things. It was safe to touch myself and cry and feel good about it. It was notsafe to let you know.

I moved my hands lower, below my pelvis. It felt like opening the petals ona flower. No it wasn¶t safe because...

Suddenly, my cell phone rang. Surprised, I sat up in the tub. I was startled bythe loud and sudden burst to reality. My hands were soaked, so I dried them on atowel then quickly answered when I saw that it was you calling.

³Hello,´ I said almost out of breath.

³Hey. What are you doing?´ you asked.

³I was umm....running...´

³That¶s why you¶re so out of breath?´

³Yea,´ I said. ³Um what¶s up?´

³Nothing,´ you said. ³I just wanted to see if you were alright.´

³I am,´ I said. ³Why wouldn¶t I be alright?´

³I don¶t know. I just had this...strange feeling...´

I sat back in the tub. ³A strange feeling? Why?´

³Because I just feel like it¶s dark outside there so early and it might bedangerous for you coming home like that every night.´

That took me by surprise. ³Umm well I¶ve been fine all of this time. Why

are you so suddenly concerned about this?´

You let out a loud frustrated sigh.

³What¶s wrong?´ I asked.



³Nothing,´ you told me, ³I¶m sorry. I just thought about it and it¶s beenreally cold. I guess I¶m just feeling weird about the weather and how it¶s being allcrazy right now.´

³Me too,´ I confessed. ³It¶s going to be okay. We¶re going to the beacheither way. That¶s the whole reason we are taking off of work and why you¶recoming down here.´

You scoffed. ³Well that¶s not the only reason!´³Well what else is there? You want to have a vacation don¶t you?´

³I told you.´ Your voice was serious, stern. It caught my attention. ³I want

to be with you. I could care less if we go to the beach honestly. I just want to bewith you.´

I realized I needed to turn the heat off. Sweat was pouring down my face anddripping onto my phone which was pressed up against my ear. I had to use thetowel to wipe my face and my phone.

³Are you there?´ you asked.

³Yea I¶m here.´ I continued to wipe the sweat from my face and then fannedmyself. ³I¶ve got to get out of the tub. It¶s too hot in here.´ I said.

³I thought you said you were running? You¶re in the tub?´

³I meant I was running before I got in the tub. Yea. I was chased by thisoversize dog. It was like a steroid half dog half wolf thing. I don¶t know.´ I pulledthe stopper out of the drain in the tub. Then I stepped out of the tub. I turned thevent on to let the steam out. ³God! It¶s like a sauna in here!´

You chuckled and said, ³A steroid half dog half wolf huh?´

³Yea you should see this thing. It¶s like something from a scienceexperiment. It has to have an owner because it doesn¶t look like a stray. But thatthing is always here!´



³Maybe he¶s protecting you. It¶s not like he tried to attack you,´ you saidalmost with a defensive tone.

³It barked at me and growled. It wouldn¶t even move from in front of mydoor until I came closer to it.´

³He doesn¶t seem like he wants to hurt you though. Trust me, if he wanted tohurt you he would have. Chill out. Relax,´ you said.

I shook my head frustrated. ³You¶re not listening to me,´ I said. ³Howwould you even know? You¶ve never even seen this thing. It¶s huge and it¶sscary.´

³I guess you would automatically think it¶s scary just because it¶s big. Butwhatever. If you¶re so scared why don¶t you just shoot it?´

³Hey! I wouldn¶t just...´

³I¶m tired,´ you said cutting me off. ³I¶m going to bed now.´

³What¶s your problem?´ I argued.

I heard you groan in frustration but then you sighed. When you spoke yousounded more reserved. ³I¶m tired. I need to rest. I will see you guys on Friday.Goodnight.´

Before I could protest to stop you from leaving you hung up on me. I stoodin the bathroom with my towel wrapped around me leaned up against the wallconfused. What did I do to get him so upset, I thought to myself. He never wasshort like that with me. It was almost like he wasn¶t even himself. I shook it off and collected myself. The heat was gone and the cold was starting to seep in again.

My feet started to feel like they were pressed down on ice.

I hurried up and got into my pajamas and put socks on to warm my feet up.My ex was texting my phone. No doubt he was texting to brag about some newcontraption he had found while he was in Japan with his new girlfriend. I was a



person who was ³too good´ for him, but obviously not good enough to be with because he was with someone new.

He did tell me that I was too great of a person to not have in his lifeanymore. ³You¶re my best friend,´ is what he told me. I was happy enough to bethat. After all, I wasn¶t that bad of a person to just dump a person off and beinsensitive. I couldn¶t do that to anyone, not the way it was so easily done to me.

I looked at the text that he sent. It was a picture of him and his blondish brown haired, green eyed, and long legged beauty standing in the middle of thelights and glamour of Shibuya, Japan. I smiled down at the smiles on their faces.They looked so warm wrapped in each others arms, bundled up, smiling...warm.

The heat on the thermostat had told me it was 80 degrees Fahrenheit in myapartment, but the cold air just seemed to pour in and my body was the collector of all of the frigid air. I threw my phone down to the floor not caring when I heard itsmack against the floor violently. Then I wrapped myself into a cocoon in thecomforter. I wasn¶t as heated up as I would¶ve liked. I accepted a long time agothat this is how it worked since nothing was ever warm and tender since he left.



Chapter 3

The next morning I wasn¶t even sure if I had any reason to be scared to leaveout of my front door. The memory of last night and the dog was still fresh butsomehow covered by a fog. The fog was the thoughts of you and my ex and howmoving forward was causing me the pain that I did not want to be stressed with. Ithought, wouldn¶t it be better to just be alone and suffer alone? Not put this kind of

baggage from my broken heart on you? It would be selfish of me to do that. Butyet you still persisted on trying to have a relationship with me.

Dating you was fun. We always laughed together and didn¶t take ourselvesor each other too seriously. It was okay to be ourselves and not pretend. When oneof us was upset or sad, the other was there to balance things out. When we were

both in good spirits then every sort of magnificent happiness and magical madness broke loose and didn¶t leave anything to be desired. Just like old friends werespected each other and had a genuine love that wasn¶t based on romance, but amutual understanding of everlasting friendship that will never die. I believed thatwe would be friends forever, no matter what happened. When romance became a

possibility, then that understanding we had was enhanced with an uncomplicated balance of true romantic love and the respect that bloomed out of the genuinefriendship we¶ve had for years.

Everything we both ever wanted and everything we ever needed was rightthere in front of us. But I was just too damaged and didn¶t want to put that part of myself on you. I refused to be a burden on you. I loved you too much for that.

These thoughts filled my head even as I sat in my car and let it warm up. Ikept my eyes open and ears alert, but all of the caution was for nothing. The dogwas not there. I didn¶t hear his barking laugh. I didn¶t see those deep silvery grayeyes and lustrous black and brown coat. I wondered if whatever had set him off last night got the best of him. Perhaps his owner figures out his secret of escapingand decided to keep him locked inside where he couldn¶t get out and terrorize.

As I drove on to work I thought about our conversation the night before.You had interrupted an intimate moment at during my most private time. I blushedinside, remembering how it felt to think of you that way. Things had warmed up alot as we spoke, but when the bath was over, things suddenly turned cold again. I



didn¶t ignore how upset you had gotten when I mentioned the dog. You seemed totake it personally. You even suggested that I shoot the dog if it scared me so much.But that was out of some form of frustration and your expression of frustrationtends to come out in sarcasm. Why get so emotional over a dog? Besides, he wasgetting huffy with me with his barking and growling and staring and laughing.

I laughed out loud. How can a dog laugh? I really must be loosing it, Ithought. To think I even go self conscious around that dog when it laughed at me.The animal was not human. It was an animal! And you were right! If it wanted toattack me it would have by now. After all, that thing had been outside everymorning and evening when I left and came home for the past 3 months. He showedup exactly 3 months after you left to go back to New York. It always stared at me

and never tried to get close until the day before. And even then he didn¶t attack me.He just watched me and laughed at me. Laughed« A dog laughed at me«Icouldn¶t help but laugh at myself for the silly thoughts that were going through mymind. I decided that if I see him again I would be prepared for him. I¶d toss it a

piece of meat or something if it got too close. I had no real reason to be scared, justlike you said.

So I thought«



Chapter 4

Darkness filled the night air before I left the office. Driving home in thedark when the clock only read 5 o¶clock was getting a little too old for me. When Iarrived home it was already completely dark and the clouds in the sky seemed tomake the night seem even darker. I could see the light from the moon shinethrough a patch of thick dark clouds, but I couldn¶t even make out the shape of it.It made the night seem a lot scarier when I couldn¶t see the moon. It was dark andcold.

Just like that morning, I did not see the dog. He was not anywhere in site.He wasn¶t even waiting at my apartment building. When I realized I hadn¶t seenhim at all that day a feeling of loneliness seemed to creep inside of me. After all, I

did get used to seeing him every day for the past 3 months. He started showing upexactly 3 months after you left to live in New York. It kind of became a routine. Ihad gotten used to his funny doggie laughing barks and his big fluffy coat that Ikind of always wanted to touch, but I was too scared to get that close to him.

He was a big dog. It was true that his size was what kept me from gettingclose. His stare was intimidating. It was almost like he was telling me that hewanted something from me with that stare. I knew I had nothing for him except myhuman flesh and bones that most monstrous creatures tended to crave to eat inhorror movies. But he didn¶t seem like a monstrous creature to me anymore.

I closed the car door. It slammed a little harder than I had expected andgave me a startle. Already shivering from the cold air and shaken by the dark night,I was nervous walking to my apartment. It felt lonely out there in the silence anddarkness. As I started walking up the stairs I heard a faint rustle in the bushes. Iturned around to see what it was, but I did not see anything. I figured it was just thewind blowing. I turned back around and started up the stairs again, but then I heardthe sound again. But this time the sound was followed by a low whistle. I quicklyheaded up the stairs without looking back. When I was safely in my apartment I

wondered what the heck was going on out there. But I knew that if I kept dwellingon it I would only freak myself out even more, so I just pushed the thoughts away.

After dinner I decided to clean up and get ready for your visit. Theunderstanding was that you were going to stay with me at my apartment on Friday



night then you, me, and Abe would head on our trip to Florida. The beach wascalling our name. I hoped that the weather would let up and give us a real spring

break, but my hopes began to fade as I could still feel the chilly air which remainedin my apartment even with the heat blasting through the vents at 80 degrees.

I was dreading going to take the garbage out because I knew I¶d have to goout into the cold night. A lot of garbage had accumulated after I cleaned the wholeapartment. I definitely needed to throw it out or else it would stink. Who wouldwant to stay in a stinky apartment? That would not be good for guests, even if theguest was an old friend. Bundled up in my wool peacoat and red knitted hat. Ihated that hat because it had one of those fuzzy puffy balls at the top. It made melook like a silly clown. It was all that I had closest to me in the closet withouthaving to dig too deep and it would help keep me warm. So I headed out the door

with the two full garbage bags and the clown hat on my head.

Walking to the dumpster in the dead cold night was not a fun task. Not at all!I carried the bags as fast as I could to throw them out so that I could hurry and get

back into my much warmer apartment. When I threw the bags out I found myself almost running to get back. I stuck my hands in my deep coat pockets, regrettingnot putting on a pair of gloves. The air felt like snow. It was icy and sharp. I pickedup the pace a little when I saw the stairs. I couldn¶t wait to reach them.

³What¶s the hurry?´ an unfamiliar voice spoke out to me from the darknessof the bushes. The man that carried the voice had stepped out of the shadows andstood in front of the stairs that I wanted so desperately to reach. He blocked my

pathway.

³Excuse me?´ I said as I tried to get past him.

³Hey wait,´ he said putting his hand out and touching my shoulder.

I quickly backed away from him. I didn¶t know this guy. Why was he

stopping me? Why was he touching me?

³I need to ask you something,´ he said.



I didn¶t want to look at him. But he was there in my face and making me

notice him. He had long dark black hair and the blackest, coldest, and strangestcrooked eyes I had ever seen. I didn¶t like looking into everyone¶s eyes, especiallystranger¶s eyes because too many times I would pick up their emotions and feelwhat they were feeling even if I didn¶t want to. I could sometimes see their intentions and read things that were in their spirit. This guy was not up to anythinggood. In fact, he had not been up to anything good in a long time. I sensed that hewas in a lot of pain, and his intentions were to make anyone he could feel his painor sometime worse.

³I don¶t have anything for you,´ I said. I wished I had thought to bring my protection piece, but I had always kept it safe in my apartment where it was legalto stop someone if they tried to hurt me.

³Yes you do,´ he said with a strained smile. I looked down at his feet and hehad on a pair of heavy looking black boots. He was not wearing a jacket, hat, nor gloves or scarf. He wasn¶t wearing anything to protect him from the cold. He wasonly wearing a pair of black jeans, a dark brown corduroy sweater, and those scaryworn boots.

³Sir, please,´ I said. ³Let me pass.´

³You know I can¶t do that, Felicia.´ He said my name so clearly.

I looked up at him, shocked. How did he know my name?

³I¶ve seen you,´ he said. ³Every night I see you come home and you never speak to me anymore,´ he said. ³Why don¶t you speak to me anymore?´

I didn¶t know this guy. How did he know me? And what was he talkingabout? I didn¶t say anything. I just listened.

³Ever since that day I helped you when you locked your keys your car you just seemed to forget about me. I keep trying to get your attention, but you alwaysignore me.´

My eyes widened in shock. I suddenly remembered him.



One morning, back in February when there was snow I had locked my keysin my car. It was after I had arrived home from work. The keys had fallen out of my hand and onto the seat. But before I could realize what had happened I hadalready shut the door and locked the keys inside. He had been getting out of his car and saw me stranded trying to figure out how to get my keys out. He was helpfulwith a coat hanger and a crow bar. He was able to pry my window down with thecrow bar just enough to fish the keys out with the coat hanger. I told him thank youand even offered to give him some cash for his help. Then like a gentleman hesmiled, said it was his pleasure to help, and he refused the money. After my door was open we went our separate ways.

³I remember,´ I said as calm as I could. ³I said thank you. I was very

grateful for your help. I still am. Who knows where I would have been if I didn¶tget your help? I mean I could have been standing out there in the cold for hoursuntil a locksmith came. I didn¶t even have my keys to get into my apartment.´ Whydid I always tend to ramble when I was nervous or scared? It was his eyes. Theywere dark, scary, and told me that he didn¶t care what I was saying. He wasn¶tlistening to me at all because he had one thing on his mind.

³You smiled at me,´ he said.

³That¶s because I was thankful,´ I clarified.

³It was because you liked me,´ he said.

I knew where this was going and I didn¶t feel like dying tonight. Not in thecold. Not in the darkness. Not like this. Not by the hands of some desperate

psychotic man. I had to try something.

³Sir, please. It¶s cold. I would really like to talk to you, but I can¶t stand it.Can you please let me by? Maybe we can talk tomorrow or meet for coffee or

something sometime.´ I was lying, but I had to get away from him.

³Sir? You don¶t even remember my name!´

³I¶m sorry. It was so long ago. But sir would you please«´



He shouted, ³Jace! My name is Jace! Can you remember that you stuck up bitch! You¶re just like all of them! You¶re just like all of them. You¶re all stuck upand proud and too good for a guy like me!´

³No! Please! Jace, listen to me. We only spoke once. Okay? I never saw youagain after that.´ I tried to keep my voice calm and without fear in it so that hecould calm down too. But he only seemed to grow angrier.

³You only saw me once! That¶s right because I¶m so easy to look over. I¶veseen you every night when you come home. I notice you all the time. But youdon¶t ever see me do you? I¶ve watched you Miss Felicia . I¶ve seen you and your little doggie. You love that dog don¶t you? I see you prefer an animal over the real

thing. I mean you smiled at me ! You smiled and you meant it for me ! Now you¶re pretending like nothing happened between us! I know it did! I know you wantedme just like I wanted you! All this time! Damn it Felicia! You¶re such a bitch!´

³Jace, you¶re not going to get anywhere by calling me names.´ I tried toreverse the guilt on him. ³You want me to notice you? Why don¶t you try beingnice to me like you did when you helped me with my keys? That¶s why I smiled atyou. It was because you were being nice to me, Jace.´ I continued to look at him tosee if there would be any change. I looked to see if he could be reasoned with on acollected level. If I could get him to feel bad and then ease up a bit then maybe Icould get him to move and make a break for it.

He shifted his weight a little and stared down at me. His face was still hardunderneath the pain that he let show through his eyes. Whatever this man wassuffering from, he had no intention of letting up on me feeling it. Complete fear took over me as I realized this man was a complete sociopath and there was noreasoning because he wasn¶t going to understand anything I was saying or feelingat that moment.

³No,´ he said. ³I¶ve been kind to you. I¶ve done my part. You need to putsome effort into this relationship, Felicia. You are nothing but a bitch. A selfish

bitch that doesn¶t care about how anyone else feels. You want to have all of the power and play these games with me. You saw me standing out here and you heardme whistle to you. The other night that dog was at your front door you were trying



to scare me with him there weren¶t you? I was coming up to see you. I was comingup to keep you warm in the night and give you everything I know your lonely and

pathetic heart desires, but you like to play these games with me. You do! Don¶tshake your head at me! Don¶t you dare start crying! No don¶t cry yet, Felicia. Notyet.´

I couldn¶t help the tears that began to fall. This man was the monstrouscreature that I should¶ve been afraid of all this time. He placed his hands gently onmy face and caressed it as if he cared about not hurting me. I knew there wasnothing I could say at this point. I felt helpless in his hands. He was big comparedto me. I would try to fight. It was in my nature to fight if someone tried to hurt me,no matter how big they are. I would try for the sake of it, but I knew there was aslim chance that I¶d win once he began.

³Don¶t cry.´ He said kindly. At that he bent down and stuck his tongue out.He ran his tongue from my chin to the corner of my right eye where the tears werefalling. ³Mmmmnn,´ he moaned as his eye rolled to the back of his head. ³Theytaste so good while you bitches are still alive and when they are real. But I don¶twant you to cry yet,´ he told me while he squeezed my face tighter in his hands.³The pain hasn¶t started yet. I want you to feel it. I want you to know how much ithurts to be ignored by someone that you love.´ He put pulled my face closer to hisas he bent down lower to my level.

I struggled as his face grew closer to mine and his eyes were at level withmine. I shut my eyes and tried to squirm away, but it only made him squeeze metighter and hurt me more.

³Did you hear me Felicia?´ he asked. His lips were an inch from my face.His breath reeked of garlic and hot sauce. ³I said that I love you. I bet you neededthat. Didn¶t you? And you need this too«´ I felt his cold hard and chapped lipsslightly brush my cheek. He puckered his lips more against my skin and moved itcloser to lips. I pressed my lips together tightly and tried to pull away. I heard

myself squeal in horror as he brushed his hard lips on my face.

I was anticipating with repugnance the moment he would try to kiss me andviolate me, but that moment never came. Something stopped him and he suddenlylet me go. There was no sound. There was no sudden movement. His hands slid off



of my face and his face pulled away from mine. I opened my eyes in wide shock.Jace¶s face was blended with fear and shock when I could see him again. He fell tothe ground face down and that¶s when I saw what stopped him.

The dog had sunk his teeth into Jace¶s Achilles¶ and blood oozed out of thewound like a faucet. Jace seemed to be in a horrendous state of terror. When thedog started tearing into his other leg the frightening screams began.

Shock, fear, revulsion, and discombobulation all swept through me. Thoseemotions paralyzed me and I could hardly move. The dog ripped flesh and denimmaterial from Jace¶s leg and looking disgusted and raged as he spit them out. Thisanimal was fierce. His canines were deadly and spilled with Jace¶s blood. Jace¶sscreams were blood curdling and agonizing to hear. Even though he was a

murderous maniac I still couldn¶t believe what was happening. I was afraid for him. That creature was going to kill him! I was sure of it!

His thick black and brown fur stood up straight and didn¶t even budge as hetore into Jace. He was large, towering over helpless Jace. The dog covered Jace¶sentire body while he was hunching over him. His head was gigantic andintimidatingly wide and vicious.

I squealed. I tried to catch myself before I could scream.

The dog stopped ripping at Jace and suddenly looked up at me. His largesilvery winter eyes punctured me. My heart pulsed out of control. It felt like mychest was going to explode. Frozen and afraid I stared back.

Jace¶s blood dripped menacingly from his bared teeth and his fur. He barkedloudly at me which caused me to snap out of my scared trance. Without another

bark let loose from his muzzle I darted up the stairs. Jace¶s screams continued andgrew even louder as I ran up the stairs. When I was at the top I looked back brieflyto see if the dog had decided to come after me, but what I saw was a trail of blood

being left behind from where the dog started to drag the screaming and mortifiedJace off into the darkness.

I turned back quickly and ran the rest of the way with my keys ready in myhand. I opened my door and flew into my apartment then slammed the door and



locked every single lock on the panel. I quickly picked up my phone and dialed911. I screamed at the operator to get someone to the complex quickly becausethere was a man being eaten by a big dog. She said help would be on the way.Soon as I hung up I dialed your number. You were the only person I could think tocall at a time like this. I don¶t know why you seemed to be on my mind at thatmoment. I needed to hear your voice. I needed to tell you that I was okay for someodd reason. It was like you were calling out to me. Or maybe I needed to call out toyou. It was a strange urge and I didn¶t fight it.

I reached your voice mail. Frantically I screamed into the phone after the beep, ³Please! Please call me back! It¶s important! Please! I¶m alright! I just needyou to call me!´

I hung up the phone. With tears streaming down my face I fell helplessly

down on my sofa and lied there. I cried, staring at my phone, waiting for you tocall until there were no more tears left.



Chapter 5

I learned that with the way this world works, nothing is ever guaranteed.Laying there on the couch alone and afraid I thought about everything I had ever gone through in my life and gotten out of on my own. From growing up in a homewhere I never really knew if the next move I made would get me a ticket to severe

punishment with the belt or a fist to if I would live to see the next light of day or even if I wanted to for that matter just from the frustrations of growing up andhaving to learn how to get through without someone to care for me. But it¶s justthat way for some people.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself I learned to move on and try my hardestto make things right for the time being. I would keep trying until something would

finally work out and I could breathe again. A problem solver, rather than a problemdweller, because face it bad things happen. There¶s nothing we can do about it.Bad things are always going to happen. If I live through it, I told myself, and then Iwould just keep going.

So why couldn¶t I move? Why was I just laying there on the couch notmoving, not wanting to move? I could not get myself into the state of mind Ineeded to push my way on forward. I knew I had to be at work in a half hour. Iknew I had to get myself cleaned up and ready to go so that I could try to make iton time. Though it seemed unlikely I would make it in by 9 o¶clock, but I had to atleast try.

I woke up shivering. I had fallen asleep while crying and waiting for you tocall. I quickly grabbed my phone from the floor where it must¶ve fallen out of myhands when I drifted off into sleep. I checked for missed calls. No one had called.

Not at all! This realization brought on a new wave of depression. I threw my phone to the floor and sighed heavily. I lied back on the couch and stared up at theceiling.

Why haven¶t you called me back?

What was my problem? It wasn¶t in my nature to look to someone to rescueme or to comfort me. I did that on my own. I pushed myself. But why was I justaching to hear from you? Why did I need to tell you that I was okay and to assure



you that whatever happened last night, if I was not dreaming, did not leave me

physically harmed. I needed to assure you of this. Though the emotional andmental devastation was starting to really take its toll on me, I tried to fight it.

I pushed myself off of the couch. Dizzy and strange I stumbled backwardand fell right back onto the couch. ³No, no, no,´ I whined to myself. ³Get your assup!´ With that rage of motivation I lifted myself again and this time I did not letthe vertigo pull me back down.

I trudged into my bathroom and turned on the shower. As I undressed I toldmyself out loud that this was going to be a good day. Despite what had happened Ihad to pull myself together and just realize that this was how life was. This wasapart of the consequences of being a single person and living alone. These things

happen and it was my job and my job only to save myself and be strong so that Icould keep moving on. I lived through it, so move on and get over it.

Move on«

Get over it«

As the hot water fell onto my skin I allowed the tears to flow. ³It¶s okay tocry,´ I told myself. ³Just this once you can cry. Just this once«´



Chapter 6

I stepped outside to head off to work. I looked around cautiously. It wasdaylight out. I felt a lot safer venturing out in the light of day as I did in the dark of night. As I walked down the stairs I found myself tiptoeing as if something wouldhear me and decide to come get me if they saw it was me coming down the stairs.

There were no signs of what had occurred the night before. The trail of blood from the stairs to wherever that dog dragged the monster called Jace was nowhere to be seen. There weren¶t any pieces of flesh, bone, or clothes anywhere. Iwalked slowly to my car looking for any little piece of evidence that I had notdreamt that I was attacked last night by psychopathic sociopath. Surely, I wasn¶tgoing crazy. No, I wasn¶t going crazy just yet.

It wasn¶t until I was inside of my car and started to feel safe that I felt I musthave been going crazy. Neatly placed on the passenger side seat of my car was a

piece of fabric. It was clearly denim and the fabric was torn. Strings of the fabricfringed from the bigger piece that should have been dark blue or black even, butwas stained dramatically with red. The smell that came from the other side wasintensely horrifying. I didn¶t dare touch the fabric. I stared at it disgusted andscared.

Was this a threat? Was Jace still alive and out there now even more enragedand out to get me since the dog had got him before he could get me? Did the copsnot find him when they came out last night? Did Jace kill the dog? All of thesethoughts raced through my mind as I looked down at the bloody piece of Jace¶s

pants. Then another thought came into my mind. Did the dog leave it for me to letme know that he was trying to protect me?

³That¶s crazy!´ I shouted out loud.

At that moment my cell phone rang. I fumbled around in my purse

desperately searching for my phone. I knew it was going to go to voicemail soon but I answered it just in time.

³Felicia,´ you said my name with such carefulness and kindness.



Why was I blushing at a time like this?

³Hello?´ you said.

³I¶m here,´ I answered.

³What¶s going on?´

³Why are you calling me so«´ I took a deep breath to calm down. ³I¶mokay.´

³You didn¶t sound okay when you called me last night,´ you reminded me.

I took another deep breath to not just let everything I really wanted to say burst out of me.

³What is going on, Felicia?´

Why did you keep saying my name that way? I¶m too sensitive fromeverything that has happened, I thought to myself. I really need to pull it together!

³Last night something crazy happened,´ I said.

The heavy sigh you let out sounded frustrated and raspy.

³There was a man. He helped me when I locked my keys in my car a fewmonths ago. Anyway, he kind of attacked me last night and I¶m okay but it was

just insane how everything just«´

³You¶re alright though,´ you said way too calmly.

³I mean I¶m alive but I«´

³That¶s what I mean. You¶re alive. You¶re not physically hurt or bruised.Right?´



³No. I mean he did lick my face and grab me, but he didn¶t leave an marks

on me physically.´ I said.

You coughed a little and the way you spoke made your voice sound shakyand even raspier. You said, ³He licked you? I mean I know he grabbed you, but hewas able to lick you?´

³My face. He licked my face,´ I confessed in shame and embarrassment.

You muttered something I could not hear clearly.

³What?´

³Nothing,´ you growled into the phone. ³What¶s going on now? Where areyou?´

³I¶m in my car about to go to work, but«´

³Don¶t go to work. Stay home. I will be there sooner than later.´

³What do you mean? I have to go to work. And I¶m supposed to pick you upfrom the airport!´

³No!´ you shouted with a frightening growl. I heard you breathing rapidly.³Don¶t leave the apartment. Please. I will come to you.´

³But I have to«´

³Will you do this for me please? Please will you trust me, Felicia?´

I thought about it. No one ever wanted to take care of me this much. Tomake me this safe. Besides you and this mysterious wolf dog I had no one. Who

else could I trust? I could trust myself. I was used to that at least. But why did I callyou in the first place if this isn¶t what I wanted?

³Sure,´ I gave in. ³I trust you. I will stay home. I¶m late for work anyway.´



³Thank you,´ you said with a sigh. ³By the way«´

³Yea?´

³Did you call the police?´

³Yes,´ I said. ³I called them. It¶s strange though.´I waited for a response from you but there was none.

I continued, ³I don¶t see any sign of last night except for«hello?´

Your line went dead. Soon I realized I was talking to myself. I wanted to tellyou about the bloody piece of fabric that was sitting in the passenger seat. But you

were gone before I could get it out. I dialed your number to see if I could reach you back but it went straight to your voice mail.

³Hey. Your phone must¶ve gone dead,´ I said to the machine. ³Well just callme back when you can. Call me when you are on your way. I wouldn¶t mindcoming to get you from the airport. Really, I¶m fine. I¶m just« not used to somuch at once I guess. What am I saying? Okay call me. Bye.´ I disconnected.

I looked down at the piece of fabric wondering if I should take it inside withme. I decided not to take it in and also not to keep it inside of my car. I grabbed a

piece of tissue from my purse and carefully picked up the piece of fabric in between the tissue then threw it out in the garbage can that was sitting next to the building. I felt safer when it was out of site.

Thinking about what you advised I went back to my apartment and called into work to let my boss know that I would not make it in to work due to personaland unforseen circumstances. Since I almost never took off from work she wasconcerned. I assured her everything was fine and that I¶d see her on Monday.

Then the hard part came«waiting for you.



Chapter 7

I was startled when there was a sudden knock at the door. The knockscontinued more rapidly and whoever was knocking began to pound on the door harder until I finally reached the door and opened it.

³Detective Morrison, Tucker PD,´ the man at my door said. He was a tallman. He wore a thick brown leather jacket, blue jeans, and bowling shirtunderneath his jacket. I could smell the thick layers of greasy hair gel he used tostyle his wild bad hair. It looked like a cross between the Elvis do and a faux hawk.He did not look like a detective despite the fact that he held up a convincingly

authentic detective¶s badge and stood in my door way a little too confidently.

I tried not to be intimidated by his darkly magnetic stare. I knew what wascoming next before he even answered the question I had asked too soon. ³ Is thisabout last night?´

³Were you a witness to the crime that was committed last night?´ he eagerlyinquired.

I thought about what I had just said. I didn¶t say anything too revealing tohim. Though it could¶ve been implied that I knew something. It was not evident. Ihadn¶t said too much yet.

³A crime?´ I nervously shook my head and chuckled. ³Detective, I hardlythink playing my music too loud and irritating my neighbors just a little is a crime?A mistake...yes! A mistake I quickly corrected! But a crime? No.´ I hated when Irambled and talked too much when I was uneasy.

³No,´ the Detective Morrison said. ³I¶m talking about the dead body that

was found in the woods just beside your apartment building this morning.´

I tried to feign shock. ³Oh my goodness! Someone was murdered?´

³I didn¶t say someone was murdered. I said a body was found,´ he clarified.



³I¶m sorry,´ I said. ³I only assumed, since you said there was a crimecommitted. This is scary. I mean, why would there be any dead bodies aroundhere? This is a peaceful area. There are a lot of families with children here.´

Detective Morrison reached into his trench coat pocket and pulled out a bonewhite colored card. He reached out to me with the card.

³Call me if you remember anything,´ He said. ³If you heard a scream, or saw a drop of...anything...´

I took the card from him quickly and looked away from his piercing eyes.He was poking daggers into my conscience with them.

³Okay,´ I quickly said. When he looked away from me and his stare had broken its burning spell I rushed and shut my front door. I looked through the peephole to watch him. I wanted to make sure he had walked away. But he didn¶t leaveright away. He stood in front of my door for a minute while he wrote something ina small notepad. I couldn¶t see what he was writing but the fact that he was stillstanding there and was writing something made me even more anxious.

I watched until he was finished writing. He looked up and winced. Therewasn¶t any sound or presence that seemed to be near him to make him do that. Heturned away from the door and walked away. He disappeared out of my site.

Scared and not sure of what to do I sat back down on my couch. I waited for you even more anxious than I had been. What did that animal do? Was the dead

body even Jace¶s. There was no doubt in my mind that it was Jace¶s body that wasfound in the woods. I shuddered remember his screams and the blood in betweenthe dog¶s teeth. I told myself not to cry but my body never listened. Tears began tofall mercilessly. This was not how imagined my day. This was not how I imaginedthe beginning of a peaceful weekend going.

I wasn¶t sure what I was crying about. But was it really Jace¶s body that wasfound? I decided that it if was Jace¶s dead body found then it would not be my

problem. I was saved by that dog and if he hadn¶t had showed up...I didn¶t want toeven think about it.





Chapter 8

When Abe showed up I was relieved to see a familiar face. Abe, my big andintimidatingly tall bear-like friend with a gentle soul and loving personality. Hewas tough that he could take on anyone, and strong enough to ignore those whowere just ignorant and not worth his time. While he was always there for thosewho were worth his time he approached every situation that he felt was worthy of his attention with gentle kindness. Abe was always there when I needed him.

He stood in my living room laughing. With a bottle of soda in his hand he

took a sip while still chuckling, showing off that dear smile that brought out his pretty high cheek bones.

³Wait a minute,´ he said. He screwed the top back on to the bottle. ³Youmean to tell me somebody¶s house dog ripped apart a rapist?´

³Abe,´ I said sternly, ³this is not funny.´

He laughed even harder. ³You just told me someone¶s pet ripped apart aman that was going to hurt you last night. I¶m trying to picture this little Chihuahuamaking dinner out of this guy who goes around thinking he can scare people.´

³I told you!´ I heard myself yelling at him. ³It wasn¶t some little dog. Thiswas a huge gigantic gargantuan creature of the freaking night! It could have beensomeone¶s pet, but oh my goodness. Abe! You have to stop laughing. This isn¶tfunny.´

³I¶m sorry,´ he said, still smiling and trying to calm down. He gently placeda hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. ³Are you okay though?´

³I¶m okay I guess,´ I said. ³I¶m still confused as to what happened. Adetective knocked on my door this morning and he thinks I know something.´

³Did you tell him anything?´



³No,´ I admitted. ³But I think I may have let some words slip out that Ishouldn¶t have. Just some things that may suggest I may have heard something or maybe even seen something...I don¶t know. I mean I don¶t even know what to do.Should I tell them I was attacked last night? Should I report what I saw?´

Abe shook his head desperately. ³No! Don¶t do that. That would be a very bad idea,´ he warned. ³These guys get one little hint that you may have beeninvolved and they will start grilling you. They may even start to suspect you didthis mess.´

³But how could I even...´

³Doesn¶t matter,´ Abe said. ³They will go with whatever lead they can findand they will suspect whoever! So don¶t say anything.´

I nodded.

³Is he on his way?´

I knew immediately he was talking about you. ³Yes,´ I said. ³How did youknow?´

³He called me last night and said that he might come today but that hewasn¶t sure. He wanted to talk to you first.´

³Oh okay,´ I said with a big sigh. ³At least they aren¶t out there anymore.´ Ilooked out the window to double check for police cars and detectives with trenchcoats and faux hawks. There weren¶t any in site.

³What were you doing out there anyway?´

³I had went to take out my garbage. When I came back to go up the stairs tomy apartment, Jace was waiting for me.´

³And after he grabbed you that¶s when the dog came out and started going athim?´



³Yes. I mean, Abe, you should have seen it. The dog was like not eveneating him like an animal, but he was attacking him like one. He would bite intohim and when he got a big chunk of his ankles ripped off of him and in his mouth,I¶m pretty sure that I saw him spit the pieces of this man back out. It was almostlike...almost like...´

³Calm down,´ Abe grabbed me and hugged me. ³Breathe. Breathe.´

I didn¶t realized I had started to gasp for air. I felt like I was going into a panic attacked. I wasn¶t crying and I wasn¶t screaming. But I was breathing heavilyand my heart was racing frantically as I could the images almost too clearly in mymind as I retold the story to him.

³And then he stopped biting him and ripping at him to look at me. I swear Abe I thought he was going to come after me! But he didn¶t! He just barked and

barked until I had ran up the stairs. Then I looked back and he was dragging himinto the woods! He dragged him away while he was screaming. Oh my god! Abe Iwatched that thing kill this man!´

Abe held me tighter. ³It¶s okay. It¶s okay. Ssshh. Don¶t talk about itanymore. Just know that you¶re okay.´

³I know,´ I said as I pulled away from him. I took my time trying to catchmy breath. ³I know that I¶m alright. That¶s what scares me. I am okay when I

probably should¶ve been dead. Jace would have killed me. He would have donesome unimaginable things if that dog hadn¶t shown up. But the dog did show upand when he showed up he went after him like I had never seen it do to anyone

before. I mean any other time it came up to me it was playful or just calm. It scaredme because of the size of it, but it never scared me so much as Jace did. I wasscared of the dog when I first saw him because he was so huge. I was not even alittle scared when I first met Jace. He just seemed like a normal person at first. ´

³I guess you know what us big guys go through now don¶t you,´ Abe said.He said it with a smile and a teasing tone, but I knew he was serious. I grabbed hishand and squeezed it gently.



³Thank you,´ I said to him.

Abe blushed and smiled his warm smile. ³Anytime.´



Chapter 9

Abe had suggested that we go for a walk. I had no idea when you had planned on being there. I had to get out of my apartment and try to get some freshair into my lungs. Staying in for so long was definitely not in my nature, unless Iwas sick and even then I¶d complain about cabin fever.

Abe asked if I knew where Jace¶s body had been found. I told him that thedetective said it was found in the woods beside my apartment building. He startedwalking towards the walking trail that lead to the woods. I followed him.

³What are we doing?´ I asked while trying to keep up with him.

³We¶re going to see if there¶s any evidence that could lead the cops to you being connected to his death,´ Abe said as we continued to walk.

I kept following Abe. I was reluctant to cross over a stream of yellow tapethat had been posted around a patch of bushes that were between tall trees. The

bushes were thick and furry and sticky with blood.

³This must be where his body was left,´ Abe said. He stood back a distancefrom the tape while he inspected around the trees surrounding the furry bushes.

³How would there be any evidence?´ I asked. I hoped he wouldn¶t move anycloser to the bushes, but he did.

Abe pushed past the yellow tape and leaned over into a pool of blood thatlooked almost fresh. It smelled awful and I grabbed my nose and mouth quickly tokeep from vomiting.

³Think about it,´ he said. He carefully took steps as he searched for whatever evidence he was talking about in the forbidden area. ³If he touched youor if even a hair of yours got on him they could connect it to you.´



³He did touch me but he didn¶t take anything from me. He didn¶t rip any of

my clothes off or anything.´

Ignoring the police tape and warning on the tape that this was a restricted police area and to keep away, Abe continued searching. He was so careful with hissteps and balance. It almost looked like he had done this before.

³Did you rip anything away from him?´

I thought about that. I didn¶t touch him. I stayed closed up and tight andscared. Then the dog came and ripped at him and tore his into the denim and hisflesh. I gasped.

³What is it?´

³I didn¶t touch him,´ I said. ³But...this is going to sound weird.´

³Tell me!´

³Well,´ I said, ³There was a piece of his bloody fabric. I think it was a pieceof his jeans. It was left in my front seat. Like it was sitting there on the passenger side when I got into my car this morning.´

Abe stared at me for a second. He said, ³You sure you didn¶t accidentally pick it up somehow and it fell from...´

³No,´ I said. I was sure of it. ³No, there is no way I touched that. It was inmy front seat as if...as if someone had placed it there on purpose. It was just sittingthere kind of like a dozen roses, a birthday card or a welcome present would sit onsomeone¶s desk or front porch if someone wanted to leave for you to find it. It waslike...a...a..gift?´ I wasn¶t even sure if it sounded right when the words came out of my mouth.

³So what you¶re saying is,´ Abe said, as he tried to understand, ³That a bigdog saved you from a rapist psycho and let you watch him mull him to death. Thenkindly left you a present, a sort of trophy, a memento in your car for you to findand keep as some kind of present?´



³Abe, I know this sounds crazy. I feel crazy thinking about it. But there wasalways something kind of off about that creature. It laughs, it talks, it...´

³It laughs? It talks? What are you saying? Listen, I need you to get a grip onreality and grab a hold of yourself! There is a dead guy that was found near your

place and it¶s obvious that someone saw you there with him. Now maybe theydidn¶t see the dog attack. I don¶t know! Maybe they did! But someone found the

body, someone called 911, and someone knew you were involved because that piece of evidence was left in your car for you to find. Now, the detectives aregoing to come back and they are going to question you. We have to get that pieceof his clothes and get rid of it and anything else that you can think of that ties youto even being near that guy at any time.´

I felt my body start to shiver. It wasn¶t because it was cold outside, because Ididn¶t even notice the temperature at that point. It was true. It was crazy to think that a dog would have a mind to think in such a way, let alone be able to even getinto my car. What Abe had said was right. I had to be rational. Someone had tohave seen what happened. Someone was on to me.

³I threw it away,´ I admitted in almost a daze as I had realized what I haddone.

Abe didn¶t hesitate or look back before he started storming back towards thewalking trail.

³Where is it? Where did you throw it out at?´

We were back on the trail and headed towards the building. I pointed at thestairs that led to my apartment where I had last encountered Jace and themysterious and dark hero that saved my life.

³It¶s in the garbage can next to the building. It¶s right there! I had thrown itout this morning. Quick! We have to get it before the trash collectors come by toclean it out!´

We reached the building and Abe lifted the top off of the can.



³No,´ Abe said. ³We have to get it and hope that the cops didn¶t find...´

There was nothing in the can. The tears that began to fall from my face toldonly a slight tale of the emotions that were running through me.

³Abe...´ I called out to him, ³They couldn¶t have...because...´³Right,´ Abe said as he patted my shoulder, ³They just emptied the trash.

Yea...they just...emptied the trash...´

³Right,´ I said.

We began to walk up the stairs back up to my apartment. My body continued

to shiver. It was so cold outside. I was afraid.



Chapter 10

As it neared sundown the sun beamed brighter than I had seen this year. Asthe setting sun let its light stream through my blinds I felt the warmth hit my face.It was the first time this year I had felt the elegant sun¶s kiss. I closed my eyes andlet the rays touch me. I quivered as the chill left my body and the sun¶s shinewarmed me. Lost in my moment, a moment I had longed for all year I didn¶t payany attention to the knocking at my door until finally I heard your voice shouting,muffled, from the other side.

³Hey!´ you shouted. You knocked again, more steadily.

Abe had gone back out to look for anything else he could find. I gave himthe keys to my car to get inside and look around just in case someone was trying toset me up and they had left any other surprises in my car.

I hurried up off of the couch and rushed to the door. When I opened the door you stood there face to face with me. The sun was behind you and it illuminatedyour skin as if you a solar powered angel sent to stand before me and glow with the

purpose of making me smile like I never had a real reason to smile before. I wasdefinitely smiling and ecstatic to see you. As your arms wrapped around me I wasreminded of the sun. The warmth of you and the beams of the sun streams filledme heat and joy unimaginable.

I buried my face in your neck and kept my arms wrapped around you as yousqueezed me lovingly. I lifted my face up so that I could look into your browneyes. You always looked at me this way. It was so caring, kind, and full of love. Itscared me. My lips quivered as your face drew closer to me. Your lips moved inand gently pressed against my forehead. I bit my bottom lip to stop it from

puckering up to kiss you back. Then I placed my head on your shoulder and yourested your chin on me.

We stayed that way for a while. The sun shined down on us and fondled uswith its warming light. You were very warm. You were like the sun. It was hard toforce myself to let go of you.



³Let¶s go inside,´ I finally said when I had the strength to pull away fromyou.

³Okay,´ you said with a wide smile.

I took your hand and led you inside of my apartment. You closed the door behind you and locked it.

³Abe¶s out side walking around,´ I told you. ³You may want to leave thatunlocked so that he can come back inside.´

³Wait,´ you said, ³I need to talk to you first.´

Your tone was more serious and you kept the door locked anyway.

³I need to talk to you too,´ I said nervously.

³It¶s going to have to wait because what I have to say is critical.´

Concerned, I stayed quiet to listen. You almost never tried to speak first or talk over me. You sat down with me on the couch and grabbed my hands gently. Ieagerly waited for you to speak. You took a deep breath and began to open your mouth but as you began to speak there was a knock at my door.

We looked at each other for a moment. The knock came again and this timeit was like the knock earlier. The knocks were hard, quick and demanding.

I looked out the peep hole and the shadowy figure between my door and the beaming sunlight was Detective Morrison. I gasped.

³Miss?´ He shouted. ³Open up! It¶s Detective Morrison!´

He already knew I was there. I couldn¶t ignore him. I looked back to see if you were there. I didn¶t see you. I didn¶t want to call out to you for fear DetectiveMorrison would probably want to question you too. I took a deep breath and triedto compose myself. I opened the door.



Chapter 11

Detective Morrison was not an average looking detective, but he held thesame badge up I had seen before. He looked too young to be doing what he wasdoing, but there he was standing inside of my apartment with his hands in the

pockets of his trench coat looking around like he was sure he was going to findsomething with just his naked eyes.

³You live here alone?´ he asked me.

³Yes,´ I said. I was very annoyed that he had pushed his way in. He didn¶tuse any physical force against me but his dark and accusing stare was forcefulenough to get me out of the way of the doorway to let him in when he requestedthat I did so.

³Do you own any kind of weapons. You know anything that could be usedto kill someone?´

³I have a few kitchen knives and I...umm...I own a hand gun. But I keep it inmy safe! I only pull it out to go shooting with my friends at the gun range. Idon¶t...I mean I¶ve never shot anyone with it. I have permit.´ I really needed towork on that.

Detective Morrison seemed unmoved by my rant or my confession of havinga gun. ³I know,´ he said. ³I know about the gun.´

³How did you know...´

³I¶m a detective.´ He stopped by my fireplace and swept his hand across the

top of the mantle. He looked at his fingers and blew the dust off the tips. ³I knowyou have a permit too. And I know that the dead man that found this morning wasdefinitely not killed by a gun shot.´



His eyes were razor sharp as they punctured my conscience and anxiety

began to ooze out of me.

³Where were you last night?´ He asked me. ³ Where were you around8pm?´

I took a deep breath and swallowed back the bile that tried to climb up mychest and into my throat. ³I was....I was...I was packing for a trip that I¶m supposeto take to Florida with some friends. I was home. I was here. Here at home.Packing.´

Detective Morrison cocked his head a little. He picked up a hard back copyof Catcher In The Rye off of my shelf. He flipped through a few pages then put the

book back down. ³That¶s a good book,´ he commented. ³So you plan on leavingtown soon do you?´

³Well yes, me and some friends had been planning to go and we...´

³I¶m going to ask that you not go anywhere at all.´

³Why? Am I a suspect or something?´

Detective Morrison grinned at me. ³Now why would you ask that? I didn¶tsay that you were a suspect. You were home however during the times of whichthe dead man¶s wife said that he had gone out. She said that she had last seen himaround 7:30pm. She said he left his apartment which is 2 blocks from here.Another witness places him one building from here at a quarter til. One eye witnesssaw him here at exactly 8 o¶clock pm. They said they saw a man that was wearing

black jeans and a corduroy sweater talking to a female who looked like she was inher mid 20s standing at medium height and she was described to have beenwearing a blue or black peacoat and a bright red hat. Do you have a bright red hat?One with a little fuzzy ball on top?´

I had been taken aback by the high level of details that were used to describeeverything. Without thinking I just blurted out, ³No. No I don¶t have any hats.´



³Really?´ he said. He kept his head still and moved his dark eyes away from

me and over my shoulder for a quick second then he put his gaze back on me.

I shook my head.

³Okay Miss. Listen, I¶ve got to go. I¶m just asking that you stay in town atleast until we get some more information on this investigation. I will be back totalk to you. I¶m sure you understand.´

I nodded at him as he walked to my door. I opened the door to let him out.When he stepped out of the door he quickly turned back around to me and reachedinto his coat pocket. He pulled out another business card. It was exactly like the

bone white card he had given me before with his name and phone number on the

face of it.

³You already gave me one,´ I said.

³Take another,´ he demanded. ³You could lose the other one. You never know, right?´

His dark eyes and stern grin was like an oxymoron to the faux hawk and boyish features and clean face that he wore like a deceitful mask.

³Sure,´ I said. ³You never know...´

I watched Detective Morrison disappear down the stairwell. I quicklyhurried back inside when I couldn¶t see him anymore. I slammed the door. I ran tomy closet to check for my coat. It was in there. My hat was not. I looked in my

bedroom for you and you were not there, nor was my hat. When I came back intothe living room you were there. You were standing near where I had been standingat the bar. You were face me as I stood near the fireplace where DetectiveMorrison had been standing.

As clear as day, right behind you the bright red fuzzy beast stared out at me.It was silly looking as ever just behind your shoulder, where it was earlier, just

behind my shoulder.



I felt my head go light. My knees went weak.

You caught me so fast that I didn¶t even get close to the floor.

I began to panic. ³Who was watching last night? Who was talking to thedetective? Oh my god!´

³Calm down,´ you said. ³Please calm down. I will help you. Don¶t worry.Me and Abe will help.´

³How can you help me?´ I said. ³You weren¶t here. You don¶t know what¶sgoing on.´ I looked around my living room. ³I lied,´ I said. ³He knows I lied.´

³Even if he did see it he has nothing on you. Did you keep the piece of fabric?´

I stared at you curiously. ³I didn¶t tell you about the fabric.´

³I know. Tell me, did you keep the fabric?´

³How do you know about the fabric?´ I could feel my vocal chords shakingas I spoke.

³Can you sit down with me for just a minute?´

³No,´ I said. I shook my head like I remembered I used to do when I waschild and my mother would say it was nap time.

³Okay fine. Stand up if you want. But what I¶m about to tell you, you mightneed to sit down for.´

³What is it?´

³Maybe I shouldn¶t say anything...´

³No! You can¶t do that! What is it? Did you tell the cops something? Didyou take the fabric?´



³No. I didn¶t talk to anyone. But I did have the fabric. I had that piece of that

filthy scumbag¶s pants. And I left if in your car this morning.´

Terror filled me from the inside and out.

³What?´ I was in disbelief. ³Impossible. You were...´

³I was here. I stopped that maniac from hurting you. I made sure he wouldnever be able to put his hands on you ever again.´

³You couldn¶t have...you¶re not...you were...´

Without another word you took a giant step away from the fireplace and

stood in the middle of floor. You quickly removed your jacket, shirt, shoes, and pants.

³What are you...´ I didn¶t have enough breath to even really speak. My heartraced. I was sweating profusely. There was no words to describe what kind of attack I may have been having.

³Don¶t move. Don¶t make a sound,´ you said. ³Just watch.´

The room grew dark as the sun finally set. When there was no light exceptfor the faint brightness of the moon it made shadows of us. I saw your shadow inthe moonlight and what looked like your nearly naked man body turned intosomething else. The shadow was large. The shape was not yours anymore. Itlooked like you were bending over and shaking. I heard you moan. Then the moansturned into grunting sounds. In the dim moonlight your shadow took on the formof something almost animalistic.

I saw the dark and large inhuman figure. It was hunched down in the moonlight. Grunts continued to strain out of your stressed vocal chords. I tried to look

closer, but I couldn¶t make out a definite shape. It sounded like bones werecracking and crunching as the figure shifted and reshaped. It startled and confusedme even more than I already was at that point. The snapping noises stopped andyour grunts were beginning to cease.



³Are you okay?´ I had asked so quietly because I was almost scared to

speak.

The black shadow moved out of the moon light. As it passed through thelight of the moon I saw your body shifted and misshapen into the mysteriouslystrange animal figure. It was a deformed mass of blackness. I couldn¶t be sure, butout of the contortive shadow you seemed to sprout a thick coat of string-like pelt.The grunting soon turned into whining. The oddly shaped and tenebrous figureshook and made a loud flapping noise.

This was not you anymore. I was sure of it.

I tried to fumble in the darkness for the light switch. When I finally reachedthe wall near the door I flipped the light switch on. I did get the light switch on for

hope of relief, but to no avail. I had hoped to see you the way you had been beforethe sun had set, lovely, gentle, and human.

In the flash of a second when my eyes were open I was shocked and alert. Ihelplessly noticed those familiar large silver eyes as they stared straight into me.In that moment, my mind couldn¶t cope with anymore of that day. I let thefaintness take over me. I don¶t remember hitting the floor but I was definitely back in the darkness.

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