Planet weekly 447

// IN THIS ISSUE

ALABAMA BREWFESTSABAN WANTS BETTERTHE LITTLE BAR THAT COULD

NOVEMBER 28 + DECEMBER 122 >>> PLANETWEEKLY • tuscaloosa's souRcE foR EntERtainmEnt, music, spoRts & tHE aRts

>>> S P E C I A L C H A M B E R R E P O R T | R Y a n p H i l l i p s

NEWSDowntown T-Town Holiday

Window Competition

The Chamber's Downtown Merchants committee has partnered with PARA for a Holiday Window Competition. Businesses in the greater downtown area (Queen City to MLK Jr. Blvd. and 15th St. to the Black Warrior River) are encouraged to deco-rate the windows of their business with the theme "Candy Canes and Christmas Carols" by Dec. 9 at noon. There's NO entry fee. To enter, please send an email to [email protected].

Last Chance: Get on the MapLet everyone know where your busi-

ness is with a "dot" locator on our official Street Map. Only a few ad spaces left. Contact Ginger at [email protected] or 850-866-3385, if interested.

8:30 -12:00 pm on any Fri. T-shirts are $12 each and wristbands are given with any donation. THANK YOU for the support. Please continue the prayers and good thoughts for our friend.

Holidays on the River is Underway.Tickets on Sale Now

The City of Tuscaloosa’s second annual Holidays on the River ice rink and winter village will run through Sunday, January 5 on the lawn of the Mildred Westervelt Warner Transporta-tion Museum. The 100-by-60 foot ice skating rink will include a 14-foot tall, 120-foot long ice slide. The Museum features “Expeditions to the North Pole.” Tickets can be purchased at the ice rink box office will be open at the

HOLIDAYS ON THE RIVER // NOW UNDERWAYNew Dental Plan Available to Members

In an effort to enhance Chamber mem-bership, we've teamed up with Southland Benefit Solutions to offer members an op-tion for dental insurance. Call 391-0554 or email [email protected] for more info.

Donation Made in Support of a Friend

The Chamber was able to present $4000 to the American Cancer Society recently. This money came from t-shirts and wristbands that we sold in support of our friend David Reynolds. They asked the Cancer Society to keep this money local for programs and patients at the Manderson Cancer Care Center at DCH. The Chamber still has some “I’m With Dave” t-shirts and wristbands available at their office at 2201 Jack Warner Pkwy. between 8:30 am – 5:00 pm Mon-Thurs or

Transportation Museum. Tickets can also be purchased online at ticketmaster.com or by calling 800.745.3000. For more info, visit HolidaysOnTheRiver.com.

T-Town Diaper DriveLearning Experiences owners Te-

resa and Sam Davis want to make you aware of the need for diapers in our area. Newborn, toddler and adult sizes are all needed and those donated will be distrib-uted to social service agencies. Busi-nesses and individuals are encouraged to participate in the T-Town Diaper Drive. Drop off points include Learning Experi-ences, Crimson Realty and Mac Hobbies. Donations for Diaper Change are being accepted, too. Checks should be made out to the agency of your choice with Diaper Change noted. Goal is to become part of the National Diaper Bank Network. Call 205.331.9562 or email [email protected] for more info.

3>>> Visit us on tHE WEB @ THEPLANETWEEKLY.COM NOVEMBER 28 + DECEMBER 12

FEATURES5 POWER VS. DEMOCRACY // RACHEL AHRNSENHow "Machine" candidates win elections

6 THE GREAT RECONCiLiATiON // ALYX CHANDLER Shakespeare with meaning

9 WHiCH iS bETTER? // STEPHEN SMITHNational title or Heisman trophy

11 bEER REViEW // RYAN PHILLIPSDelirium Tremens – O.M.G.

12 HAiKKADO REViEW // CARA BRAKEPerfection Japanese style

14 LOCAL STAR iN REALiTY SHOW // WILLIAM BARSHOPHow does she handle 22 suitors?

25 SiMONE SAYS // ADVICE FOR THE ASKING

27 TRANS SibERiAN ORCHESTRA // TREY BROOKSThey truly bring the holidays to life

ENTERTAiNMENT10-12 RESTAURANT GUiDE

16-17 EVENTS CALENDAR

18 ROAD TRiP

19 TUSCALOOSA MUSiC

23 HOROSCOPES // SUDOKU

24 CROSSWORD PUZZLE

SPORTS 21 HiGH TiDE // GARY HARRISDa'Shawn Hand joins the Crimson Tide

PUBLISHERlinDa W. JoHnson

MANAGING EDITORHERB nEu

ASSISTANT EDITORRYan pHillips

COVER DESIGNl au R a l i n E B E R R Y

SOCIAL MEDIA EDITORR Ya n p H i l l i p s

DESIGN/LAYOUTH E R B n E u

ADVERTISING205.792.7239

p l a n e t W e e k l yp. o . B o x 2 3 1 5t u s c a l o o s a , a l 3 5 4 0 3p h o n e : 2 0 5 . 7 9 2 . 7 2 3 9 | 2 0 5 . 7 6 5 . 8 0 0 7E m a i l : p u b l i s h e r @ t h e p l a n e t w e e k l y . c o m

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>>> www.theplanetweekly.com >>> planetweeklyissue447

4 inside 13

under the cover

CONTRIBUTING WRITERSR ac H E l a H R n s E nW i l l i a m B a R s H o pc a R a B R a K ER Ya n p H i l l i p sa lY X c H a n D l E Rs t E p H E n s m i t Ht R E Y B R o o K sVa n R o B E R t sGARY HARRISREGGIE ALLENJIM REED

16

"DELIVERY MAN"FEATURE // Van RoBERts

7 A gem of a film

4 >>> Visit us on tHE WEB @ THEPLANETWEEKLY.COM NOVEMBER 28+ DECEMBER 12

>>> INVESTIGATION | R Y a n p H i l l i p s

‘TiS THE SEASON FOR HiGHER CRiME RATES // T-TOWN & NORTHPORT MERCHANTS RAMP UP

Now that the holiday season is upon us, it brings the annual swarms of retail shoppers and packed dinner tables full of spirited conversation between often confrontational relatives.

Crowded shopping malls and outlets adorned with festively decorated Christ-mas trees and multi-colored tinsel will buzz with holiday commerce. Product shelves in retail stores will be filled as quickly as they can be restocked with customers clawing for the perfect deal at the last minute. Homes will be filled with visiting relatives who bring with them their eccentricities along with myriad holiday gifts wrapped in less than conspicuous ways. While the lighter side of this holiday is often the one highlighted in popular culture, several issues spur from this time of year, namely a wide ranges of violent and non-violent crimes.

The holiday season is indeed a time of giving and receiving for many law-abid-ing citizens, but on the dark side of this

shopping season, a large number decide to take.

As retail item prices go down for the holidays, crime is poised to go up with sharp increases seen in thefts and violent crimes, even in places like Tuscaloosa.

According to official statistics from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, 133,153 property crimes occurred in the state of Alabama in 2012, with around 88,000 involving theft. During the holidays when gratuitous sums of money are spent on elaborate gifts that then sit wrapped under the living room tree for a month, the likelihood of these kinds of thefts will ultimately rise.

Lindsey Johnson, Operations Manager of Old Navy at Midtown-Tuscaloosa, cited the holiday season as a catalyst in rela-tion to higher theft numbers at this and other stores. In a larger store that caters to a wide range of customers, Johnson said that it is crucial to know what forms possible shoplifters may come in.

“Around the holidays, thefts pick up quite a bit”, she said. “In a past year we had an event going on that also featured a blood drive outside of the store. Then a regular shoplifter came into the store that was well known because she came in the store often. There were a few of us on the blood drive bus and someone in the store called us and said she was in the store so we immediately called the police. We saw her from the bus and saw her run toward the bus and began knocking on the door. Then she recognized one of us from the store and started running from the entire group down the sidewalk through mid-town.”

Johnson then pointed to the size of particular items for sale in the store as a clear incentive for shoplifters but said that successfully applied store precautions are in place to help avoid as many cases possible.

“We encounter a lot of theft of smaller items, especially baby items, those are usually small and easy to hide”, she said. “If we see anyone come in with any sort of red flag items like large purses with straps hanging off their shoulders or people who come in large groups and immediately separate to different parts of the store, we try to keep an eye out for that or someone may come over the walkie-talkie and say we have a ‘friend’ in the store, you don’t say shoplifter obvi-ously and then we immediately send an associate to provide customer service to the individual to keep them occupied so they can’t steal anything.”

The number of thefts at a large retail store such as Old Navy is not restricted to a time of year or demographic of shop-lifter, she said, but given the size of the store it is assumed that this number will be higher during the holidays due to a higher volume of shoppers in an outlet that contains large quantities of products. Johnson then said she felt confident in the measures put in place for this holiday season and hopes that this holiday sea-son will be one with a limited number of incidences.

In a smaller Midtown outlet across the street from Old Navy, one shop man-ager finds a structural advantage when it comes to countering holiday shoplifters. While most stores highlight their Big Box potential to holiday shoppers, a small size can yield big profits.

Mark Hughes, Store Manager at Wagner’s Run Walk in Midtown, said that while the possibility for shoplifting exists, as with any store, the size of this particular outlet is a preemptive measure in keeping track of customers as they handle merchandise.

“We are fortunate from the standpoint that we are a smaller store and sell most-ly shoes so it is really tough for someone to take a display and steal it”, he said. “There aren’t a lot of things you can put in your pockets that aren’t right beside the

counter. It puts us at a real advantage in terms of loss for sure.”

To date, the store has not encountered problems with shoplifters, regardless of the holiday rush that is guaranteed to bring in hordes of customers with sticky fingers who may be difficult to watch in a busy environment.

“We have never had to run into the parking lot and chase someone down who has stolen something thank good-ness, so you can say that we have been fortunate to not have to deal with that,” he said.

Despite the seemingly secure confines of a smaller outlet, other measures are still taken to prevent the possibility of theft and according to Hughes, the custom-ers ultimately reap the benefits from a store that is not hampered by setting aside funds dedicated to covering stolen property.

“Our biggest threat of any kind is theft of our apparel, where a customer may go in the dressing room and brings ten pieces of things in there and come out with two but our associates are always aware of how much is going in and out,” he said. “The biggest issue is that we try to keep theft to an absolute minimum and we are ultimately able to pass those sav-ings along to the customer. I think a lot of times when people look at retail business-es, they think that everything is marked up and many people think they are just out trying to make money but a lot has to do with things like theft and shrinkage, so if we avoid that we can keep lower prices for our customers.”

The retail sector is not the only one affected by holiday crime. As stated by Hughes, profit for companies can ultimately be affected by theft, which can also be seen in the changing world of online shopping, which sees the most use during the holidays. In the 2013 eCom-merce Cyber Crime Report conducted by the Ponemon Institute, the damage to commercial finances can be seen through the sample used for the study.

“According to organizations in our study the amount of revenue lost due to internet fraud can do measurable harm to the bottom line”, the study said.” An aver-age of almost 5 percent of total revenues (gross sales) were lost due to the financial and brand impact of internet fraud during the past 12 months—it gets worse when you consider what the cost could be to customer loyalty if it becomes impossible to make a purchase or there is perception that the website is not secure. According to the companies in our study, an aver-age of $3.4 million is what reputation and brand damage can cost as a result of the loss of customers.”

Unlike operating a structurally small outlet where products and customers are in plain view of employees, cyber crime

Continued on page 22

5>>> PLANETWEEKLY • tuscaloosa's souRcE foR EntERtainmEnt, music, spoRts & tHE aRts NOVEMBER 28 + DECEMBER 12

>>> E X P O S é | R a c H E l a H R n s E n

iN 1928, aN article appeared in the University of Alabama’s student newspa-per The Crimson White, entitled, “To The Student Body.” It began,

“We desire to call your attention to a situation which we regard as a serious menace not only to the student govern-ment itself but to the social and academic life of the University. That there exists or has existed a secret national political fraternity on the campus. That this institu-tion is called Theta Nu Epsilon.”

Eighty-five years later, through a Great War, moon landings and the advent of the computer, this institution remains a reality.

It has many names, though it began as Theta Nu Epsilon, an approved UA fra-ternity. However, the National Inter-Fra-ternity Conference labeled T.N.E, "sub-versive," in 1913 and it was dissolved. Out of the remnants arose an organiza-

MAN VS. MACHINE // A SECRET SOCIETY CHALLENGES DEMOCRACY IN TUSCALOOSA

tion called The Skulls. Through 1922, The Skulls were a sanctioned student group which held dances and parades.

When the organization went under-ground, it was called, “the Machine,” or, “the Group.” Whatever the name, it re-mained a coalition of white greek organi-zations that maintains political control.

“It is the same thing they were 100 years ago. That’s a problem I have with it: it’s completely stagnant. Only the scope of their influence is broader,” says UA

student Kirkland Back.Back is acutely aware of their influ-

ence. She was elected by them. Now a senior in the sorority system

at UA, Back was elected by the Machine to the position of Student Government Association Senator when she was a freshman.

“When I was elected, I was so excited. I ran out of a meeting shouting, ‘I got it!

I got it!’ But when I came to the house, no one was excited. They said, ‘Well, yeah, of course you got it.’ I thought I was elected because I was qualified and pas-sionate and had plans. But it wasn’t me,. It was the Machine.”

Back, along with other Machine senators, attended underground meet-ings where they decided how to vote in Senate.

“They’re not putting on black robes and doing rituals. They’re sitting around a basement Sunday night, probably with a few beers, talking about who they should vote for.” The Machine has a president, treasurer, officers, and sizeable funds to coordinate the group.

Most of the 27 traditionally white fra-ternities and sororities are affiliated with the Machine. Each house has one or two representatives, and the older represen-tatives hand pick their replacements.

The way the Machine decides to vote depends on the election. Homecoming Queen is determined by a rotation of sorori-ties. “It’s not a big honor, it’s just your year,” says Back. SGA positions are more carefully chosen, with personalities taking precedence over affilia-tion. The way students know who to vote for is revealed differently in every house. Back says, “In my soror-ity, they would say, ‘We want to tell you about this great person, y’all should vote for them,’... but you knew who the implied, ‘we,’ was.”

To ensure the voting bloc remains strong, Greek organizations require members to turn in emails that UA’s on-line ballot system generates after voting. Back says freshmen are led to believe the email reveals who they voted for, though this information is not included. Members are fined for not voting.

As she continued her position as an SGA senator, Back developed reserva-tions about her role in the Machine. “I wasn’t representing Arts and Sciences, I was representing the Greeks. I recog-nized that, and I felt a lot of guilt,” said Back.

In 2011, she rebelled against the Machine by voting for Ryan Flamerich, a non-Machine candidate, for speaker of the senate. Flamerich won by four votes, becoming the first independent elected to office since 1986, when John Merrill served as SGA president.

After her decision, “people just didn’t talk to me for a while,” said Back. Anony-mous commenters on The Crimson White website began insulting her in article comments. Then Back was called into a meeting with both the Machine represen-tative and president of her sorority.

“They said, ‘If you did this, that means

we won’t get Homecoming Queen, we won’t get SGA. All of it’s going to be taken away.’ I knew 280 girls were about to hate me...so I denied it. I was scared.”

Social exclusion is a common threat the Machine uses against sororities. They claim no fraternities will hold social events with disobedient sororities.

Back continued to deny her vote, real-izing the enormous social pressure the Machine possessed.

“I began to wonder why I had been investing all of myself into an organization that didn’t care about me. It’s not you they care about, it’s the system. After that, I was done with it. I still went to all the underground meetings, but I put on this uber sorority girl act. If it was a religion, I was praying every day...the Machine does rule with fear, but for me it was not a fear for personal safety. It’s the fear of social alienation. If the Machine puts their thumb on you, where do you go? To the adminis-tration, who won’t admit it’s real? To your

sorority sisters?”The only time UA

administration has intervened in SGA politics was 1993, after independent candidate Minda Riley was attacked with a knife in her home, allegedly by a Machine member.

The university disbanded SGA until 1996.When asked if she thought the

Machine could be violent, Back said, “They’re going to do what they have to do to keep their power. That’s important to remember.”

Such university intervention is unlikely now. According to the Associated Press, UA has invested $202 million in con-struction of greek houses over the past decade. University spokeswoman Cathy Andreen said house construction is usu-ally financed through bonds sold by UA that are repaid by Greek organizations. $50 million is due in payments every year.

According to Greek Affairs, greek life at UA has doubled from 2002 to 2012. The greek community at UA now has the

PHOTO: Fernando Decillis

Cason Kirby, the Machine's choice, beat out highly effective Dist. 4 school board incumbant, Kelly Horwitz, in a controversial election covered more extensively by the NY Times than the local press.

Continued on page 13

Machine candidates often go far beyond local government, reaching up to the national political level, with SGA as their training ground.


>>> T H E AT E R |a lY X cHa n D l ER

THE GREAT RECONCILIATION // SHAKESPEARE’S HENRY COMES TO UA

with makeshift costumes from closets and revised scripts in hand, members of Improbable Fiction, a group sponsored by the renaissance literature Hudson Strode Program at the University of Alabama, prepare their audience for yet another unpredictable performance.

A free performance of the condensed Shakespearian Henry Part I and II will be directed by Natalie Hopper, an Eng-lish Graduate Teaching Assistant, and performed through Improbable Fiction on December 6 at 8 p.m., at the Tuscaloosa Dinah Washington Cultural Arts Center.

The upcoming hour- and a-half show will feature an intimate script in hand per-formance by an eclectic cross section of English Department teachers, Drama un-dergraduates and graduates of the Univer-sity of Alabama. The focus is on the tense political and emotional relationship of Henry with his father, King Henry, played by first-time performer and undergraduate Joey Gamble and UA theater professor Steve Burch, respectively. It will unearth buried family drama and Henry and his father’s “great reconciliation” scene.

“I mean, how often do you see Shake-speare in West Alabama?” Nick Helms, the Artistic Director and Founder of Im-probable Fictions, said.

Improbable Fiction began on March 25, 2010, and since then has produced two to three shows per semester of con-densed Shakespearean or Greek plays at different Tuscaloosa venues. The hilarious and relaxed atmosphere of the dozen or so actors and actresses has previously drawn in quite an audience, with up to eighty attending students, teachers and people from Tuscaloosa and the Black Belt community.

Improbable Fiction showcases a down- to-earth production style very unlike Shakespeare’s elaborate performances. The roles of characters are chosen over an informal audition only a week before the show is produced and the first read- through occurs the Sunday before the show. Actors practice lines and loose blocking for a few hours each night.

The minimum props and a bare stage doesn’t lend itself easy for a play like Hen-

ry that involves war. In Henry Part I and II, the performers challenged themselves to find little ways to involve the audience without going overboard. Both Hopper and Helms agree that their shows are always all about improvising.

“Very few of us are actually experi-enced actors, ” Helms said. “That’s what makes it all the more real and in the mo-ment.”

The idea for the program sparked when Helms realized his sophomore English students would be able to better comprehend the plot line, jokes and puns if they saw facial expressions and actions. This way they could get something more out of the Shakespeare and Greek plays they learned.

“When the actors know what they’re saying, then they can deliver it in a way that makes the audience understand what’s happening,” Hopper said. “It makes them laugh.”

Helms says he thought it would cinch some of the boredom derived from the hard to follow language. Instead of making students feel bogged down because they didn’t catch all the jokes, this helped them visualize a real picture.

Hopper says at their first performance, no one laughed for almost half the show until one of the actors came onstage hum-ming ‘Bad Romance’ by Lady Gaga, then everyone in the audience relaxed and the rest of the show went well. Humor like this connects the audience in Improbable Fictions. Since then, awkward moments have been cherished by audience and actors alike. Twins were played by people of very different heights and entire scripts were scattered onstage at what turned out to be precisely the perfect moment for increased drama. O’Dair says they’re able to do fun and interesting things reproduc-ing Shakespeare’s work with the current politics and age.

“There’s moments where it’s really obvious we’re people with scripts, and there’s moments where you get swept away,” Helmes said.

Corpsing, which is when actors break out of character, is coined as bad in professional theaters. Improbable Fiction,

on the other hand, takes advantage of the casual stage presence by playing off the humorous relationship it has with the audience. The cast members are forced to take on an energetic role in order to fulfill such a short notice play.

“It reminds everyone we’re amateurs here to have fun,” Helms said. “You don’t have to be trained to do Shakespeare.”

When Helms and his colleagues first began Improbable Fiction, barely enough people were interested. Now, more and more people out of the English Depart-ment circle are participating and over eight different people have directed the shows. Auditions this year were forced to leave people with promises that if some-one wasn’t used for one particular show, they would definitely be used for the next performance.

The scripts are cut by the chosen director so that members have something that can be rehearsed and performed quickly. Extremely archaic words or sec-tions of the originally published version are only changed if necessary or if some of the characters need to be omitted or merged together to conserve time.

“The thing about Shakespeare is not only is he a object of study in his time period, he is also an object of study right now and that’s what our program is about, “ Sharon O’Dair, the Hudson Strode Pro-fessor of English and the Director of the Hudson Strode Pro-gram in Renaissance Studies, said.

The Hudson Strode Program was started because Strode was a benefactor to the English Department at the University of Alabama. He was also a successful author and teacher of writing and Shakespeare at the University from 1916 to 1963. He left a legacy for his passion of renaissance litera-ture, so after he and his wife passed away, the school set about spending the money in the way that would honor him most.

“Its important because it’s the only privately endowed program like it in the south, so we’ve been very wise with the funds given,” O’Dair said.

Every year the Hudson Strode pro-gram admits four lively Master’s students and one Ph.D. to concen-

trate on English Renaissance Literature through lectures, seminars and perfor-mances. Helm’s addition of Improbable Fiction was more than proven worthy of the Hudson Strode Program support.

With just the perfect amount of re-hearsal required, the lines and roles of the characters amplify the still sensational quality of renaissance plays. On the night of the show, Helmes says the play itself really clicks for everyone—cast and audi-ence alike. “You realize that at this point you really just have to commit,” said Hop-per.

O’Dair says Improbable Fiction has been unique because of Helm’s heavy interest in performance. People around the state and region are able to come together and foster a collegiate relation-ship and collaboration with the Shake-spearean loving people at the University of Alabama.

More and more people participate each year, and the audience numbers continue to grow. O’Dair says even if Strode is spinning in his grave, the mod-ern adaptions to the program and plays over the years has attracted a presence that keeps the love of Shakespeare alive.

Improbable Fiction welcomes all to attend the one time showing of the staged adaptation of Shakespeare’s play Henry Part I and II on December 8.


"DELIVERY MAN" // A RARE SPECIAL PACKAGE // A GEM OF A FILM

fuNNy maN ViNce VaughN has made a career out of playing obnoxious, motor-mouthed, louts in raucous comedies like “The Wedding Crashers,” “Couples Retreat,” “The Internship,” “Old School,” “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story,” and “The Watch.” In his latest laffer “Delivery Man,” he doesn’t portray another obnox-ious, motor-mouthed, lout. Instead, he plays a sympathetic, soft-spoken, slacker. Subdued as he is in writer & director Ken Scott’s remake of his own French-Canadi-an film “Starbuck” (2011), Vaughn is cast as a middle-aged, ne’er-do-well, oddball who scraped together a pile of dough during his youth from providing sperm donations for a fertility clinic. The premise of “Delivery Man” is singular in its novelty. No other comedy that I can recall has ever employed this plot. In an administrative blunder of nightmarish proportions, the fertility clinic relied almost predominantly on our protagonist’s sperm, and the 693 deposits that he banked with them bred 533 children! Two decades later, the

>>> F I L M | V A N R O B E R T S

cloud atlas

progeny insist on meeting their papa, and they challenge our humble hero in court to divulge his identity. As rude, crude, and lewd as “Delivery Man” must sound, this sentimental, feel-good, PG-13, pleasantry is not cut from the same cloth as most of Vaughn’s characteristic, lowest common denominator, slapstick farces. Incredibly enough, in a season celebrating super-heroic exploits like “Thor: The Dark World” and feats of empowered femininity like the incendiary “The Hunger Games” sequel “Catching Fire,” “Delivery Man” focuses on down-to-earth, flesh-and-blood charac-ters who live quiet lives and blend into the background. A conspicuous loser in virtu-ally every facet of his life, our sperm donor extraordinaire has no idea that he has sired so many offspring.

David Wozniak (Vince Vaughn of “Four Christmases”) drives a meat delivery truck for Wozniak & Sons, his immigrant father’s business in New York City. Without a doubt, David is the slowest delivery man on his papa’s payroll. Not only is he a magnet

for uniformed NYPD cops writing parking citations, but also he has landed on the wrong side of ruthless loan sharks. He is over his head in debt to these hooligans for $80-thousand. Nevertheless, everybody loves David, including his cute girlfriend, Emma (Cobie Smulders of “Safe Haven”), who happens to be one of New York City’s finest. Before our ill-fated protagonist learns about his woes from the fertility clinic, he discovers that Emma is pregnant. She adores David, but isn’t entirely sure that he would make an adequate breadwin-ner. She agrees to give David a chance but warns him that he will remain on proba-tion until she decides otherwise.

Sadly, David has struggled over the years with various get-rich-quick schemes. Those pie-in-the-sky ideas have yielded little in the way of consequence. As the action unfolds, David has just scrapped his latest inspiration—cultivating marijuana hydroponically—when he learns about Emma’s pregnancy. Emma has always wondered why David has never invited her to his cramped man cave where he tries to grow pot. While David is worrying about his woes with Emma, he finds out that 142 offspring from the fertility clinic have em-barked on a class-action lawsuit to smoke him out into the open. When our hero submitted his sperm to the clinic back in the day, he signed a confidentially contract. David’s best friend and sometime attorney Brett (Chris Pratt of “Moneyball”) advises him to lay low. Brett has four children of his own and advises David to steer clear of his children. David has never distinguished himself with his brilliance. He takes a packet from Brett that contains profiles of the 142 children. Mind you, every one of David’s biologically sired children is grown-up. Despite Brett’s warnings to not peruse the profiles, David does and hatches a bizarre scheme to act as their guardian angels. He helps out his offspring without letting them know that he has a stake in their lives. Initially, he attends a basketball game where one son is playing and be-haves like a one-man cheerleader squad. In another instance, he stands in for a barista so the guy can attend a casting call for actors. Predictably, inept as David is, he all but destroys the coffee shop as he tries to perform a good deed. Later, he rescues a daughter as she is about to plunge herself into the nightmare of heroin addiction. Several lesser examples occur with David berating wolves whistling at a sexy daughter, assisting a drunken son with a cab, and urging bystanders to ante up contributions for a sidewalk musician. Meanwhile, Brett tries to concoct a strategy that will serve them well in court. Brett is a woebegone underdog himself. Indeed, his own mother assured him long ago that he is no Perry Mason. When Brett tries out his courtroom defense approach on his four children, they question his compe-tence as an attorney!

Scott and Québec-born, co-scenarist

«««Martin Petit never miss a chance to be multi-culturally correct. As it turns out, the women who availed themselves of David’s prolific sperm donations were not exclu-sively white. David begat a few African-Americans, too. Furthermore, some of his grown-up brood preferred to explore alternate lifestyles. At least one of them is handicapped both mentally and physically. The awkward scenes between David and his crippled son are the stuff of tearjerk-ers. A lesser movie would have depicted a breakthrough with the handicapped guy acknowledging his biological father. Of course, contrived as it is, “Delivery Man” doesn’t let our hero get off the hook. Just when it appears like David’s anonymity will remain intact, everything comes crash-ing down. Cynically, with the Thanksgiv-ing holidays at hand, you could say that Touchstone Pictures, a division of Disney Studios, couldn’t have chosen a better time to release this art-house gem. Scott’s comedy celebrates fatherhood in general and presents a rainbow of situations in particular where parental love triumphs over adversity. “Delivery Man” qualifies as a refreshing change-of-pace for Vince Vaughn.

« 4 out of 4


24th Annual


>>> PLAYER PROFILE | s t E p H E n s m i t H

let’s face it; No one likes to lose in college football. It doesn’t matter if it’s ac-complishing a winning season or racking up on multiple awards, coaches and play-ers relish the thought of being a champion at the end of each season. Though any award in football is good, there is two that standout from the rest. Despite whether both awards spark a heated conversation or not, fans of college football can’t deny that the two most coveted awards are the BCS title trophy and the Heisman Trophy.

While the national title trophy is awarded to the best team in college foot-ball, the Heisman is awarded to the most outstanding player in the sport. However, where greatness lies, controversy is there too. In recent years, the Heisman Trophy has been awarded to the player that not only means the most to the team, but has provided the biggest impact on college football. Nowadays, the competition for the coveted bronze award has become a beauty pageant or a popularity contest.

For quarterbacks, it seemed simpler to accomplish the Heisman in the past. All that was need was a good completion percentage, between 3,000-5,000 pass-ing yards, 30-50 touchdown passes, 3-10 interceptions and a good quarterback rating. With the evolution of the spread offense and dual threat quarterbacks, it now takes more to accomplish a Heisman Trophy. Dual threat quarterbacks have the ability to extend plays with their athleti-cism and aggravate defenses. In a spread offense, its pick your poison if you’re a defense. The quarterback can either an-nihilate you passing the ball accurately or slash and gash you in the run game.

As for the typical pocket passer, it becomes harder for them to accom-plish a Heisman because of their lack of mobility. They really have to depend on arm strength, accuracy, precision and ball placement. It is imperative for them to constantly read defenses, use check downs wisely and not make fool-ish mistakes. In order to compete with a mobile quarterback for the Heisman, a

pocket passer will have to have a better completion percentage and quarterback rating along with more passing yards and touchdowns.

Some college football analysts have even gotten to the point where they believe that “style points” for teams will be pivotal in a quarterback’s chances of winning the Heisman. The definition of style points is when you completely dominate an opponent that you are vastly better than. Many people will argue with this information because in order to win the Heisman, one must have a Heisman moment. The moment can occur in any game and at any given time.

While most individuals believe that a Heisman moment for a player should be when he is completely dominating the competition, the true mark of a moment is when a player may not have his best game, but still finds a way to tough it out and get the job done. For example, Ala-bama’s quarterback AJ McCarron.

As a three-year starter for the Tide, the road to being a leader hasn’t been easy for McCarron. He’s had his share of highs and lows, yet he continues to be the cornerstone of the Crimson Tide’s offense. Earlier in his career, McCarron was known as a “questionable game manager.” Two BCS titles and one SEC title later, he has gone from being game manager to undisputed leader of the team, despite the opinions of most col-lege football analysts.

Though he hasn’t captured a Heisman yet, ESPN analysts have finally decided to place him in the top five of the conver-sation. He was in the same situation last season. After the 21-17 thrilling victory for Alabama against LSU, McCarron was placed as a “dark horse” in the Heisman race. He was place there in his ability to lead the team on a final drive that would cap off with a game-winning screen pass to TJ Yeldon. Despite the matchup with LSU being one of McCarron’s worst games statistically (completion percent-age: 51 percent), he still managed to rally

WHiCH iS bETTER // NATiONAL TiTLES OR HEiSMAN TROPHiES?

the troops around him, put the team on his back and deliver a victory against LSU in Tiger Stadium.

This season, Mc-Carron has outdueled Johnny Manziel, Zach Mettenberger and Bo Wallace, but his moment of toughness came against Mis-sissippi State. It was mentioned earlier that you may have to tough it out in games in order to win the Heisman. In the matchup with the Bulldogs, McCarron en-countered intense pres-

sure and knocked around a lot. Despite being only sacked once, the offensive line didn’t provide a crisp pocket for him to work through. Nevertheless, McCar-ron still tossed two touchdown passes (two interceptions) and helped Alabama escape Starkville with a 20-7 win.

Of the top five quarterbacks in the Heisman conversation, McCarron is the only one with a national title. Though Manziel (19-5 as a starter) is the reigning Heisman winner, with losses to Auburn, Alabama and LSU (six interceptions com-bined), he may have played his way out of a shot at repeating.

Coming into the season, ESPN Col-lege GameDay analysts were raving about Marcus Mariota. They praised him on his accuracy, precision, arm strength and his ability to extend plays with his legs. Despite him being 21-3 as a sopho-more starter, Oregon lost to Stanford for the second year in a row. In order to win the Heisman, one must not only dominate the opponent statistics, but also win the game. In the matchup against Arizona, Oregon was taken to the woodshed 42-16. Though Mariota completed 65.9 percent of his passes, he tossed two criti-cal interceptions.

After seeing Robert Griffin III get drafted to the NFL, many people thought that Baylor would fall off the map. Little did they know that head coach Art Briles had a ram in the bush? The ram’s name is Bryce Petty and this season he has put on a show. The Baylor Bears have the No.1 ranked offense in college football, averaging 56.8 points per game. The ma-jority of this success falls on Petty. The Bears are fourth in the nation in passing yards, averaging 381.9 per game.

Despite Petty having a stellar season, the 49-17 loss against Oklahoma State on the College GameDay stage, may hurt his opportunity of taking home the hardware.

Last season it was Manziel, this season a new freshman quarterback is drinking the miracle water. Jameis Win-

Contributing sports journalist Stephen Smith is a reporter for Touchdown Alabama Magazine and touchdownalabama.net.

ston is an extraordinary talent. He has single-handedly put Florida State back on the map. He has a lot of poise and confi-dence for a freshman and that has helped him gain the trust of his teammates and the coaching staff. Head coach Jimbo Fisher has kept nothing away from Win-ston. He’s even allowed him to run the playbook. Winston’s numbers this season have been remarkable. He’s completing 69.6 (70 percent) percent of his passed for 3,163 yards, 32 touchdowns, seven in-terceptions with quarterback rating 194.5.

Winston is 11-0 as a starter and has the Seminoles locked in the Atlantic Coast Conference Championship Game along with an opportunity to play for a national title. The only thing that stands in his way is off-the-field issues. If these issues prove accurately, Winston may not walk home with the award.

As for McCarron, Alabama fans have gotten the joy of watching him grow and mature as a player and a person. In his first BCS title as a starter in 2011, ana-lysts claimed that it was the defense that guided the Tide there. McCarron finished the season completing 66.8 percent of his passes for 2,634 yards, 16 touchdowns, five interceptions with a quarterback rat-ing of 147.3.

The criticism of sports media outlets sparked McCarron into action in 2012. With a young defense, Alabama leaned on McCarron for leadership and he didn’t let them down. Statistics wise, McCarron vastly improved in 2013. He completed 67.2 percent of his passes for 2,933 yards, 30 touchdowns, three interceptions (175.3 quarterback rating) and led the Tide to its 15th national title.

This season, McCarron has picked up where he left off. Though some of his re-ceivers were slow coming out of the gate, he still managed to display trust in them and get them the ball. Thus far, McCarron is completing 68.6 percent of his passes for 2,399 yards, 23 touchdowns, five inter-ceptions (165.1 quarterback rating) and is in route to a fourth national title (third as a starting quarterback).

Though winning the Heisman would be nice for McCarron, many are reminded of his interview with ESPN analysts Chris Fowler in which he said “I really don’t care. All my teammates and I want is another crystal ball (national title).” While the Heisman is concerned about stats, McCarron is concerned about winning. You can have all the stats in the world, but it means nothing if you can’t win. The numbers don’t lie, McCarron is a winner. He is 35-2 as a starter with championship experience to his name. If this doesn’t impress Heisman voters or NFL scouts, nothing will.


>>> RESTAURANTS | W H E R E T O E A T I N T U S C A L O O S A

BREAKFAST / DINNER15th Street Diner1036 15th st // 750.8750open for most lunch and dinners, with limited hours onweekends.

City Cafe408 main ave | Downtown northport // 758.9171Established in 1936. Big on food, low on price. open for breakfast and lunch. Historic downtown northport. closed weekends.

CountryPride Restaurant3501 Buttermilk Rd // 554.0215www.ta.travelcenters.comBreakfast 24 hours. lunch and Dinner buffet.

Cracker Barrel Old Country Store4800 Doris pate Dr | Exit 76 // 562.8282www.crackerbarrel.com

International House of Pancakes724 skyland Blvd // 366.1130

Jack's1200 Hackberry lane | tuscaloosa // 345.1199

Maggie's Diner1307 ty Rogers Jr. ave | tuscaloosa // 366.0302

Mr. Bill's Family Restaurant2715 mcfarland Blvd | tuscaloosa // 333.9312

Northport Diner450 mcfarland Blvd | northport // 333.7190

Panera Bread1800 mcfarland Blvd *402 | tuscaloosa // 366.8780

Quick Grill1208 university Blvd | the strip | tuscaloosa // 342.0022

Rama Jama’s1000 Bryant Dr // 750.0901closest restaurant to Bryant-Denny stadium.

The Brown Bag9425 Jones Road | northport // 333.0970its speciality, fried green tomatoes, joins barbecue plates andfish filets on an extended list of meats and vegetables.tues 10:30 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. | Wed-sat 10:30 a.m. - 7:30 p.m.

The Waysider1512 Greensboro ave // 345.8239open for breakfast and lunch. smoke free.

MEXICANChipotle Mexican Grill1800 mcfarland Blvd E | midtown Village // 391.0140www.chipotle.com

Don Rafa's2313 4th street | temerson square // 345.9191

El Rincon (2 locations)1225 university Blvd | tuscaloosa, al // 366.08551726 mcfarland Blvd | northport // 330.1274

Fernando's Mexican Grill824 mcfarland Blvd E | northport // 205.331.4587

Iguana Grill1800 mcfarland Blvd E | midtown Village // 752.5895

Jalapeno’s Mexican Grill2001 new Watermelon Rd | northport // 342.3378

LaGran Fiesta9770 Hwy 69 s // 345.8871

Los Calientes Mexican Grill3429 mcfarland Blvd E // 553.1558

Los Tarascos (2 locations)1759 skyland Blvd // 553.88963380 mcfarland Blvd | northport // 330.0919

Margarita's Grill1241 mcfarland Blvd E // 343.0300

Moe’s Southwest Grill (2 locations)2330 mcfarland Blvd E // 342.14871130 university Blvd // 752.0234moes.com

Pepito’s (2 locations)1203 university Blvd | the strip // 391.90281301 mcfarland Blvd nE // 391.4861 FINE DININGChuck’s Fish508 Greensboro ave | Downtown tuscaloosa // 248.9370steak, seafood, & sushi specialities. open for dinner andsunday brunch. Great atmosphere and excellent service.ladies night on tuesdays. ladies receive ½ off on drinks.uptown Wednesday - $6 uptown shrimp, $8 uptown tacos. Cypress Inn501 Rice mine Rd // 345.6963fax: 345.6997 | www.cypressinnrestaurant.com2003 Restaurant of Distinction. Beautiful riverfront location.steaks, seafood and more with southern flavor. Wine list,full bar. specialities of the house include shrimp cypress innand smoked chicken with white barbecue sauce. Kid friendly.closed saturday lunch. mike spiller is featured the firstthursday of every month. Happy Hour- mon-fri from 4:30 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. featuring 1/2 price appetizers. $2 Domestic Draft Beers and $3 Well cocktails.

Epiphany Cafe19 Greensboro ave | Downtown tuscaloosa // 344.5583“new american cuisine” with a strong emphasis on localproduce, organic meats, and sustainable seafood. the menuis always changing and features include an extensive wine list,a large vibrant bar and martini lounge area, as well as patioseating. Reservations are available online at epiphanyfin-edining.com or through open table. Hours: mon–sat 5 p.m. - until

Evangeline’s1653 mcfarland Blvd. north // 752.0830located in the tuscaloosa Galleria. 2004 West alabamatourism award Winning Restaurant. american Eclecticcuisine. lunch: mon–fri 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. | Dinner: tues–sat 5 p.m. - until... fall: saturday Brunch.

The Globe405 23rd avenueowned by legendary thespian and chef, Jeff Wilson. the decor takes one back to merry old England. the food is internationally acclaimed, priced reasonably, and the service is cheerful and professional. cocktails are excellent as are the wines. open 11 a.m.-2 p.m. and from 5-9 pm. tuesday through saturday, sunday 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

FIVE Bar2324 6th street. // 205.345.6089a restaurant/bar based on simplicity. We offer 5 entrees, 5 red wines, 5 white wines, 5 import beers, 5 domestic, and 5 signature cocktails, to go along with our full liquor bar.Dinner: sunday - thursday 5-10; friday and saturday 5-12lunch: friday and saturday 11-3; sunday Jazz Brunch: 10-3five-bar.com; 205.345.6089

Kozy’s3510 loop Road E | near Va medical center // 556.0665Eclectic menu, extensive wine list. Dinner at Kozy’s is aromantic experience complete with candlelight and a roaringfireplace. | www.kozysrestarant.com JAPANESEBenkei Japanese Steak House1223 mcfarland Blvd // 759-5300Hours: mon–thurs 5 p.m. - 9 p.m. | fri–sat 5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

Bento Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar1306 university Blvd // 758.7426

Hokkaido Japanese Restaurant607 15th street open sunday through thursday from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m., and friday and saturday from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m.

Ichiban Japanese Grill & Sushi502 15th street // 752.8844

Tokyo Japanese Steak & Sushi Bar6521 Hwy 69 s | Hillcrest center // 366.1177offers steak, seafood, tempura, teriyaki and sushi. includingcooking at your table, if you choose. sun–thurs 5 p.m. - 10 p.m. fri & sat 5 p.m. - 11 p.m.

Kobe Steak House1800 mcfarland Blvd E | midtown Village // 759-1400lunch: 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. | Dinner: 4:30 p.m. - 10 p.m.sat & sun 11:30 a.m. - 11 p.m. ITALIANBroadway Pizzeria2880 Rice mine Road northeast tuscaloosa, // 391.6969

DePalma’s Italian Cafe2300 university Blvd, Downtown // 759.1879menu ranges from sanwiches to finer pasta dishes and pizza.Varied beer and wine selection.Hours: mon–thurs 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. | fri & sat 11 a.m. – 11 p.m.www.depalmascafe.com

Little Italy1130 university Blvd. | tuscaloosa // 205.345.4343

Mellow Mushroom2230 university Blvd // 758.0112pizzas, calzones, hoagies and more. open dailyfor lunch and dinner. www.mellowmushroom.com

Mr. G’s908 mcfarland Blvd n | northport // 339-8505

Olive Garden2100 mcfarland Blvd E // 750-0321open daily from 11 a.m.www.olivegarden.com CASUAL DININGBig Daddy’s Cafe514 Greensboro ave | Downtown tuscaloosa // 759.9925

Buddy’s Ribs & Steaks2701 Bridge ave | northport // 339.4885

Buffalo Wild Wings2710 mcfarland Blvd // 523.0273mon–Wed 11 a.m. - midnight | thurs–sat 11 a.m. - 2 a.m.

Cafe J2523 university Blvd // 343.0040

Chili’s1030 skyland Blvd | near mcfarland mall // 750.8881fax: 758.7715 // www.chilis.com

Dave’s Dogs1701 mcfarland Blvd E | university mall // 722.2800 Desperados Steak House

VIzzINI FARMS PROVE LOCAL FAVORITE

>>> WINE REVIEW | R Y a n p H i l l i p s

the local alabama wiNe market has grown substantially in recent years and due to the demand and overall changing tastes of people within the state, new lines of artfully craft vinos seem to pop up all around the heart of Dixie.

Vizzini Farms Winery of Calera, Ala, has been family owned since 2005 and has strived to set itself apart from other southern vineyards. In the spirit of the autumn season and the football Saturday celebrations that echo around the state, Vizzini Farms offers a wine that is sure to keep fans rolling with the tide.

The Rolling Red from Vizzini Farms is a semi-sweet table wine reminiscent of the emerging popularity seen in the muscadine wine market. While the sweetness can eas-ily fool the drinker’s taste buds into compar-ing it to Muscadine, the varietals used is a refreshing raspberry mix that is aromatically cool and flavorful until the last drop.

On the bottle itself, the color of this wine is creatively accented with a portrait of Elephants stampeding through a stormy crimson ocean. For many readers, this is a familiar image ingrained into the psyche of the state that also fits into the concept of this enjoyable chilled red table wine.

The nose on the Rolling Red is crisply pungent and evocative of the raspber-ries used in the production process. This sharp nose ultimately leads to a smooth, refreshing taste that is semi-sweet and not overpowering for even the most novice wine drinker. The fruity splash tingles the taste buds when chilled and is a perfect match for that late season football party.

In terms of pairing, trying compliment-ing the Rolling Red with spicy game day treats such a gumbo, jambalaya or buffalo wings. Additional recommendations for this sweet wine can be found in crawfish or ribs. Sugary sweets also pair well with the Rolling Red and can be refreshing when washing down cake or other heavy treats with its extraordinarily light drinking weight and taste.

The story of this central Alabama Winery is told on their website in an effort to provide a personality with the products that succeed in breaking away from the

pack. “Vizzini Farms Winery was founded in

2005 by Tom & Deborah Vizzina with the goal of bringing premium quality wines to Central Alabama,” the site reads. “At the time most Alabama wineries focused pri-marily on producing Muscadine wines, but Tom's vision included varietals such as Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, Merlot, and Chardonnay.”

The Winery also lists their winemaking philosophy, which puts the customer first and their craft

“The key philosophy of the winery is to maintain the highest degree of excellence in the winemaking practice to allow the wines to fully express the various American vineyards that are their source:, the site reads. “Our goal is to provide our custom-ers with high quality, fruit forward wines made in a manner that preserve the flavors that are naturally existent in the grapes.”

Owner Tom Vizzini is also given a bio on the website that provides customers with a glimpse into his roots as a wine maker and Alabama native.

“Born and raised in the Birmingham area, Tom developed a love for wine while helping his grandfather make wine and cheese on their family farm,” the site reads. “After many years in corporate life he decided it was time to pursue his pas-sion and in 2005 founded Vizzini Farms.”

Vizzini farms also hosts parties and events, along with a bistro that serves tasty treats to compliment the fruits of the vine. Guaranteed to be a fun scenic experience for the wine and food lover in your life, Vizzini farms is a must for those commuting the Alabama Wine Trail.

Calera is calling!


FIG (Food Is Good)1351 mcfarland Blvd nE // 345.8888mon–fri 8 a.m. - 8 p.m.

Five Guys Burgers & Fries1800 mcfarland Blvd E | midtown Village // 391.0575www.fiveguys.com

Glory Bound Gyro Company2325 university Blvd // 349-0505Glory Bound Gyro company is a unique restaurant that focuses on great food and service in a funky, fun-filled atmosphere.open mon-thu: 11am - 10pm | fri - sat: 11am-10pm |sun: 11 a.m. - 9 p.m.

Hooligan’s1915 university Blvd // 759.2424from hamburgers to hummus. open daily 10 a.m. - 11 p.m.

Horny's508 Red Drew ave | tuscaloosa // 345.6869mon 4 p.m. - 2 a.m. | tues-thurs 11 a.m. - 2 a.m.fri 11 a.m. - 3 a.m. | sat 4 p.m. - 2 a.m.new orleans style atmosphere in the heart of tuscaloosa onthe strip. Horny's offerings include a full liquor bar, beer, anda variety of classic american food. Horny's Bar and Grill offers a limited late night menu from 1:30 a.m. - 2:30 a.m. so, ifyou're hungry after "last-call for drinks," Horny's is the place to be.

KK’s Steakhouse13242 Hwy 69 south // 633.1032

Tacogi500 Greensboro ave | Downtown tuscaloosa // 342.3647

Logan's Roadhouse1511 skyland Blvd E // 349.3554

Madear’s1735 culver Road // 343.7773mon–fri 6 a.m. - 5 p.m. | 2nd & 3rd sunday 11 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Mugshots Grill & Bar511 Greensboro ave | Downtown tuscaloosa // 391.0572Great burgers & sandwiches. unique setting, full service bar,veggie entrees, kid friendly, and open latewww.mugshotsgrillandbar.com

Newk’s Express Cafe205 university Blvd. East // 758.2455fax: 758.2470 // www.newkscafe.coman express casual dining experience in a refreshing andstylish atmosphere. serving fresh tossed salads, oven bakedsandwiches, california style pizzas and homemade cakes fromnewk’s open kitchen.sun–Wed 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. | thurs–sat 11 a.m. - 11 p.m.

O’Charley’s3799 mcfarland Blvd // 556.5143open daily for lunch, dinner and sunday brunchwww.ocharleys.com

Panera Bread1800 mcfarland Blvd E | midtown Village // 366.8780www.panerabread.com

Piccadilly Cafeteria1701 mcfarland Blvd E | university mall // 556.4960www.piccadilly.com

Quick Grill1208 university Blvd | the strip // 342.0022www.bamaquickgrill.com

The Local Catch // 331.44962321 university Blvd. | tuscaloosafull menu including breakfast served all day.live music mon-sat 11 a.m. - close | sun 11 a.m. - 9:30 p.m. for a complete schedule http://localcatch30a.com/

Ruby Tuesday (2 locations)6421 interstate Drive | cottondale // 633.3939Just off i-20/59 at exit 77. near Hampton inn and microtel inn311 merchants Walk | northport // 345.4540www.rubytuesdays.com

Ryan’s4373 courtney Dr // 366.1114near marriott courtyard and fairfield inn Sitar Indian Cuisine500 15th st // 345-1419

Southland Restaurant5388 skyland Blvd E // 556.3070steaks, chops and home-cooked vegtablesmon–fri 10:45 a.m. - 9 p.m.

zoe’s Kitchen312 merchants Walk // 344.4450a wonderful selection of Greek foods

SPORTS GRILLBaumhower's Wings of Tuscaloosa500 Harper lee Drive | catering-pick-up tuscaloosa //556.5858 | always fresh and always fun. owned by former ua/miami Dolphins great Bob Baumhower. Kid friendly

Buffalo Phil’s1149 university Blvd | the strip // 758.3318sports grille with tVs galore. Diverse beer and wineselection, full bar

Buffalo Wild Wings2710 mcfarland Blvd. East | tuscaloosa // 523.0273sports grille with tVs galore. Diverse beer and wineselection, full bar

Champs Sports Grille320 paul Bryant Drive | inside four points sheraton Hotel // 752.3200Breakfast and lunch buffets. sunday brunch 11 a.m. - 2 p.m.

Hooter’s5025 oscar Baxter Dr | next to Jameson inn // 758.3035Wings, clams, shrimp and of course the Hooters Girlswww.hooters.com

Innisfree Irish Pub

1925 university Blvd | tuscaloosa // 345.1199

Moe's BBQ101 15th street | Downtown tuscaloosa // 752.3616mon-sat 11 a.m. - 9 p.m.Bar open until 2 a.m., 3 a.m. on fridays

Mugshots Grill & Bar511 Greensboro ave // 391.0572Great burgers. full service bar. open late.www.mugshotsgrillandbar.com

Wilhagan’s2209 4th st | Downtown tuscaloosa // 366.0913

Wings U 1800 mcfarland Blvd East suite 218 | pick-up tuscaloosa // 561.3984 features the first coal-fired pizza oven in alabama. owned by former ua/miami Dolphins great Bob Baumhower. completely open concept! www.wingsu.com

Wingzone1241 mcfarland Blvd E | tuscaloosa // 342.2473

BARBEQUEArchibald & Woodrow's BBQ4215 Greensboro ave | tuscaloosa // 331.4858mon-sat 10:30 a.m. – 9 p.m. | sun lunch

Bama BBQ & Grill3380 mcfarland Blvd | northport // 333.9816

Billy's BBQDowntown northport 364.1400We specialize in BBQ, fresh ground beef, poultry, and pork made fresh, served fresh. ask about our specialty potatoes.mon & tues 10-7// Wed. 10 – 5:30// thurs, fri, & sat. 10 - 9

Costa's Famous BBQ and Steaks760 skyland Blvd // 331.4526

Dreamland (2 locations)5535 15th ave | tuscaloosa // 758.8135101 Bridge ave | northport // 343.6677the legend. on game day, get there early if you want to makekickoff. seating is limited. Hours: mon–sat 10 a.m. - 9 p.m. | sun 11 a.m. - 7 p.m.

Hick’s BBQ4400 fayette Hwy // 339.3678 // tues–sat 10 a.m. - 8 p.m.

Moe's Original BBQ2101 university Blvd.. // 752.3616serving up an award-winning, all things southern BBQand live music experience. come dine-in or sit on thepatio and enjoy some great Que, beers, whiskey, and livemusic on thursday-saturday. Roll tide!mon–sat 11am - 10pm | Bar service mon-sat 2am andfri -3am | Kitchen closes at 10pm

Pottery GrillHighway 11 // 554.1815awesome barbecue. the pottery Grill serves up everything from pork, chicken, ribs and sausage to burgers, hot dogs and salads. take-out and catering available.

Tee’s Ribs and Thangs1702 10th avenue // 366.997411 a.m. - 10 p.m. daily

STEAKSLogan’s Roadhouse1511 skyland Blvd | next to sams // 349.3554steaks, ribs and spirits

Longhorn Steakhouse1800 mcfarland Blvd E | midtown Village // 345-8244 #412

Nick's In the Sticks4018 culver Rd | tuscaloosa // 758.9316a long-time tuscaloosa tradition.Good steaks at a reasonable pricetry a nicodemus if you have a designated driver.

Outback Steakhouse5001 oscar Baxter Dr // 759.9000

Desperados1530 mcfarland Blvd. n. | tuscaloosa // 343-1700sun–Wed 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. | thurs–sat 11 a.m. - 11 p.m. SEAFOODChuck’s Fish508 Greensboro ave // 248.9370

Local Catch Bar & Grill2321 university Blvd // 205-331-4496american, seafood, cajun/creole. coastal cuisine with a southern twist!. monday & Wednesdays half off house wine and appetizers at happy hourthursday ladies night 20% off ladies tabs 4pm-closesunday half off mimosas and bloody marys all daylunch 11am-2pm; Dinner 11am-untilHappy Hour 3pm-6pm with $5 house wine, $5 top shelf, $3 well. $1 off bottle beer

Red Lobster2620 mcfarland Blvd // 553.8810mcfarland plaza shopping center

Tin Top Restaurant & Oyster Bar 4851 Rice mine Rd nE #460 // 462.3399mcfarland plaza shopping center & temerson square

Wintzell’s Oyster House1 Bridge ave | northport // 247.7772casual riverfront diningsun–thurs 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. | fri–sat 11 a.m. - 11 p.m.

>>> RESTAURANTS | W H E R E T O E A T I N T U S C A L O O S A ( C O N T . ) >>> BEER REVIEW | R Y a n p H i l l i p s

DELIRIUM TREMENS // IT'LL LIGHT YOUR FIRE

are you aN adVeNturous beer drink-er, looking for brews that think outside the bottle? Do you enjoy ale that is as strong as it is enjoyable to picky taste buds? Then set down that boring old domestic beer and grab a brew guaranteed to light your fire.

The Belgian brew masters at Huyghe Brewery in Melle, Belgium, have provided an interesting take on the blond ale that is satisfyingly creative and versatile since 1989 and continue well into the 21st century. Sold in an artfully crafted ce-ramic bottle that is perfect for collectors, Delirium Tremens has gained popularity as a top shelf favorite as a blond ale that breaks away from tradition by sporting a rich fruitful flavor that is masked by a hearty, bitter tinge to wrap it up.

When poured into the proper drinking glass, Delirium Tremens glows beautifully with a golden hue that leads into a full, thick head. This beer has received acco-lades such as a 2008 award for best beer in the world at the World Beer Champion-ships in Chicago, Ill. As you will see, it is well deserving of such a title.

The decorative bottle for this world-class ale is illustrated with comical pictures of Pink Elephants, an image often associated with a wee bit of the consump-tion or a lack thereof. After all, Delirium Tremens does translate from Latin to read, “Trembling Madness” and if you are a big enough fan you may just know where this brewery is coming from.

The initial taste of this brew is one that is reminiscent of a hard cider, with a taste that evokes sharp accents of apple and cherry. However, do not let the fruity na-ture of this particular blond ale fool you, as a dark finish polishes off the overall drink-ability of this beer and balances out the semi-sweetness. Enjoy this beer on a hot summer day, or a cool autumn evening. Given the balanced nature of this brew, it pairs with every mood and every season.

Sporting an 8.5% ABV, this beer is also not for the faint of heart. Although Delirium Tremens is relatively light in terms of a filler quality, it is delightfully strong in alcohol content and will have you participating in the pink elephant parade

if not enjoyed in moderation. Simply put, Delirium Tremens is a high-class brew that has the strength to satisfy every palate.

For food pairing recommendations, try blackened or char-grilled dishes that high-light the fruity burst of taste from Delirium Tremens. Another possible recommenda-tion comes in the way of thick, chocolate dishes that will bring out the irresistible dark finish on this beer. The balanced presented by Delirium Tremens provides the drinker with a treat that can pair with a variety of foods, while also holding to a strong alcohol content that leaves the drinker satisfied and loose.

On the Delirium Website, an update is provided to keep drinkers and patrons abreast of the changes at the brewery and new things that may be offered. This description backs up their award winning nature while highlight the growth that the Belgian brew masters have seen.

“In January 2012 brewery Huyghe received a medal of honour from the Prov-ince of East-Flanders, as a recognition for their merits in the region”, the site history reads. “April 2012 saw the culmination of a 7 million investment with the completion of the new brew room and new buildings. Thanks to this investment the brew capac-ity increased to a maximum of 350,000 HL. Moreover, thanks to the state-of-the-art brew room the brewery can save up to 10% on raw materials, 30% on water consumption and 50% on energy.”

In addition to the substantial growth seen at Delirium as a result of their increasing popularity, the trophy shelf for the brewery simply keeps expanding.

“In June, the 3D elements were added to the website, which fitted in perfectly with the world of the pink elephant,” the site reads. “In July the beers Floris Kriek and Delirium Tremens won medals at the International Beer Challenge in Lon-don. And in October Mongozo Premium Pilsener and La Guillotine won medals at the World Beer Awards.”

Delirium Tremens can be purchased at Spirits in Northport and to learn more about this imported treat, visit delirium.be.


>>> RESTAURANTS | W H E R E t o E a t i n t u s c a l o o s a ( c o n t . )

CHINESEBuffet City1747 skyland Blvd E // 553.3308all you can eat buffet. open 7 days a week.

Chang’s Chinese Restaurant1825 mcfarland Blvd n // 391.9131China Fun2600 university Blvd | alberta city // 553.2435

China GardenHwy 69 s | Hillcrest center // 758.0148

Lee Palace6521 Highway 69 s // 391.9990open daily 11 a.m. - 10 p.m.

Mr. Chen's Authentic Chinese Cooking & Oriental Market514 14th st. | in the oz music shopping center //343.6889 // open sun - thu 11am - 9pm,fri & sat 11am - 9:30pm

Pearl Garden2719 lurleen Wallace Blvd | northport // 339.0880

Peking Chinese Restaurant1816 mcfarland | northport // 333.0361open 7 days a week. super lunch and dinner buffet.Hours: sun–thurs 11 a.m. - 9:30 p.m. | fri & sat 11 a.m. - 10 p.m.

Swen Chinese Restaurant1130 university Blvd | the strip // 391.9887

Trey Yuen4200 mcfarland Blvd E // 752.0088

ASIAN CUISINERuan Thai1407 university Blvd // 391.9973ruanthaituscaloosa.comExotic thai cuisine. offers vegetarian options, outdoor dining,and a full bar. sushi on thursdays.lunch: mon–sat 11 a.m. -2 p.m. | Dinner: mon–thurs 5 p.m. - 10 p.m. fri & sat 5 p.m. -10pm | sun 11 a.m. -3 p.m.

Surin of Thailand1402 university Blvd // 752.7970authentic thai restaurant and sushi bar. open daily.lunch: 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. | Dinner: 5 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.www.surinofthailand.com

PIzzA AND SUBSA Taste Of Chicago1700 Greensboro avenue 205-342-DoGsmon. - thurs. 10:00am - 9:00pm; fri. - sat. 10:00am - 10:00pm17th street and Greensboro avenue. authentic chicago style foods with a taste of chi-town in every bite. italian Beef sandwiches, chicago Rib tips, and chicago style pizza.View our menu online and order at cRimson2Go.com. follow us @tasteofchicagottown on instagram.

Firehouse Subs1130 university Blvd | tuscaloosa // 248.0680

Hungry Howie’s (2 locations)1105 southview ln | south tuscaloosa // 345.60001844 mcfarland Blvd | northport // 333.26331211 university Blvd | tuscaloosa | the strip // 366.15004851 Rice mine Rd | northriver/Holt // 345.3737

Lenny’s Sub Shop220 15th st // 752.7450fax: 752.7481 // www.lennys.com

Little Caesars Pizza1414 10th ave // 366.2220www.littlecaesars.com

Little Italy1130 university Blvd. // 345.4354

Mellow Mushroom2230 university Blvd | Downtown tuscaloosa // 758.0112

Subs n' You2427 university Blvd. | tuscaloosa // 205.758.0088

Roly Poly Sandwiches2300 4th street | tuscaloosa // 366.1222

The Pita Pit1207 university Blvd | the strip // 345.9606Hours: mon–sat 10:30 a.m. - 3:00 a.m. | sun 11:30 a.m. - mid-night

Tut’s Place1306 university Blvd | the strip // 759.1004

DELICATESSENHoneybaked Ham Company421 15th st. E // 345.5508www.honeybaked.com

Jason’s Deli2300 mcfarland Blvd // 752.6192fax: 752.6193 // www.jasonsdeli.comlocated in the meadowbrook shopping center.

Jimmy John’s (3 locations)1400 university Blvd | the strip // 366.36991875 mcfarland Blvd n | northport // 752.7714815 lurleen B. Wallace s | tuscaloosa // 722.2268Delivery 7 days a week.www.jimmyjohns.com

Manna Grocery & Deli2300 mcfarland Blvd E | tuscaloosa // 752.9955

McAlister’s Deli (2 locations)101 15th st | tuscaloosa // 758.00393021 tyler Dr | northport // 330.7940sandwiches, salads and spudswww.mcalistersdeli.com

Momma Goldberg’s Deli409 23rd ave // 345.5501www.mommagoldbergs.com

Newk's205 university Blvd E | tuscaloosa // 758.2455

Schlotsky’s Deli405 15th st. E // 759.1975schlotskys.com

Which Wichuniversity Blvd.// Downtown tuscaloosa // mon – sat 10:30 – 9 // sunday 11 – 7 // fun atmosphere,fresh ingredients, great sandwiches. 764.1673

COFFEE SHOPChloe's Cup2117 university Blvd.| tuscaloosa // 764.0218crimson cafe international coffee House & Gourmet Deli1301 university Blvd | the strip // 750.0203mon–fri 7 a.m. - 11 p.m. | sat & sun 8 a.m. - 11 p.m.thecrimsoncafe.com

Five Javacoffee, fresh juices, smoothies and treats from mary's cakes. open monday - saturday at 7am; 9am on sundays

Heritage House18 mcfarland Blvd | northport // 758.0042

Krispy Kreme Doughnut1400 mcfarland Blvd // 758.6913www.krispykreme.com

Starbucks (2 locations)1800 mcfarland Blvd E | midtown Village // 343.24681901 13th ave East | inside super target // 462.1064starbucks.com

DESSERTSCelebrations Bakery, Inc.1832 mcfarland Blvd n | northport // 339.3221fax: 349.1945

Cold Stone Creamery1130 university Blvd. | tuscaloosa //343.1670www.coldstonecreamery.comspecializes in customized ice creamHours: mon–thurs 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. | fri & sat 11 a.m. - 11 p.m. sun 12 p.m. - 10 p.m.

Mary's Cakes & Pastries412 22nd avenue | behind opus | northport // 345.8610www.maryscakesandpastries.common–fri 8 a.m. - 6 p.m. | sat 8 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Smoothie King (2 locations)415 15th street | tuscaloosa // 349.1721fax: 349.19451403 university Blvd | tuscaloosa // 462.3664

Sweet CeCe's Frozen yogurt Treats2217 university Blvd. | Downtown tuscaloosa // 561.6458a fun and friendly make your own creation,yogurt experience!

TCBY (3 Locations)2304 mcfarland Blbd | meadowbrook shopping center //349.4661 // 2 mcfarland Blvd | northport | Essex shoppingcenter // 758.6855 // 1130 univ. Blvd. | the strip // 345.0804

Yogurt Lab920 paul W. Bryant Dr ste 200 | tuscaloosa // 347.9522

Yogurt Mountain1800 mcfarland Blvd E | midtown Village // 342.1484self-serve frozen yogurt experiencemon–thurs 11 a.m. - 11 p.m. | fri & sat 11 a.m. - midnight

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TASTY FOOD AND BRILLIANT BREWS

oNe thiNg tuscaloosa caN pride itself on, besides football, is its diverse dining life. Pizza, sandwiches, and seafood restaurants are dotted all over town. The other type of cuisine here is Asian and Asian-American food, every-thing from Thai food to hibachi grills.

One such place, Hokkaido Japanese Grill and Sushi Bar, started its life here in Tuscaloosa on February 28th, 2006 on 15th Street. A short 5 years later, however, the restaurant was destroyed from roof to foundation in the 2011 tor-nado that tore Tuscaloosa apart, along with so many other businesses. The storm was devastating, and after the damage was done, there was nothing left of the once proud building.

That didn’t stop the owners, Charlie Lao, Sam Liew and Simon Chow, from pushing on. Just last year on Septem-ber 7th, Hokkaido reopened its doors on 15th street, just across the street from its old location. The rubble from the lost building has been cleared, but upon entering the waiting area of the restaurant, picture frames hang on the wall with photos of the old restaurant, the destruction after the tornado, and the rebuild. The look of the restaurant remains the same, with wood paneling in the foyer, a full bar to the right, and seat-ing all around the building.

A small waiting area is set up to al-low customers waiting to be seated or picking up to-go orders to sit comfort-ably while they wait. Hostesses great the customer as soon as they walk in, ready with take out menus or seating charts. The bar shares a corner for the order section for take out, and the bar is backlit with color changing lights, giving it a creative look. One of the biggest highlights is the hibachi grill, where fresh poultry, pork and seafood are cooked to perfection by the skilled chefs that run it. The sushi bar is also a highlight, with several different kinds of rolls, including the school-spirited Roll Tide Roll, and the aptly named 15th Street Roll.

The eatery serves appetizers, en-trees, sides, and has a lunch menu from 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. with 25 entrees, 19

>>> RESTAURANT REVIEW | c a R a B R a K E

HOKKAIDO // PERFECTION, JAPANESE STYLE

from the grill, and 6 featured in a bento box, or a Japanese lunch box. The bento lunches come with an entree, a salad, a dumpling, fried rice, and a spring roll. The grill entrees are served with a soup or salad, fried rice, and grilled veg-etables. The lunch menu also as a small sushi selection, featuring a sushi combo containing a California roll and five pieces of the chef’s selection, or the Maki Sushi combo containing a Califor-nia roll, cucumber roll, and a tuna roll.

The full menu is more extensive, in-cluding dessert selections, appetizers, single entrees, combinations, a kids menu, and side orders. For anyone celebrating their birthday, Hokkaido of-fers a special birthday dessert, which includes the dessert, chopsticks, and a special song from the staff. The price is great too, with entrees ranging from $16 to $24, and appetizers ranging from $3 to $6. Along with soda and tea, they serve a full bar, including a wine selection.

The restaurant recently celebrated a one year anniversary, holding a celebra-tion on September 5th featuring 95.3 The Bear, giveaways, food and fun. The celebration was a success, and pictures on their Facebook page document the party.

Hokkaido Japanese Restaurant and Sushi Bar is open at 607 15th Street, next to Taco Casa. It’s open Sunday through Thursday from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m., and Friday and Saturday from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. Find them on Facebook at facebook.com/HokkaidoTuscaloosa or on their website, hokkaidorestaurant.net.


>>> E X P O S é | R A C H E L A H R N S E N

TWO HOLIDAYS CONVERGE // NEXT EVENT IS 77,798 YEARS FROM NOW

>>> T H A N K S G I V U K K A H | R a c H E l a H R n s E n

oN NoVember 28, maNy Jewish fami-lies’ homes will be filled with the smells of pumpkin kugel, challah apple stuffing, and latkes with cranberry applesauce. These are the newly invented foods for a holiday that will not happen again until 79811 AD: Thanksgivukkah. “Thanksgivukkah,” is the moniker given to the convergence of the Jewish holiday of Chanukah with Thanks-giving on Nov. 28.

“The Jewish holidays fall out in ac-

cordance with the Hebrew calen-dar, which is a lunar calendar. The holiday then falls out at the same time every year but moves around on the Gregorian calendar,” ex-plains Alabama resident Ben Flax. Because the calendars are not cal-culated the same way, Chanukah starts on a different day each year on the Gregorian calendar.

Pop culture has latched onto the phenomenon. Donors have funded an online Kickstarter campaign to make turkey-shaped menorahs. In New York City, Macy's Thanksgiv-ing Day parade will include a giant dreidel. Even the popular website Buzzfeed posted an article entitled, "How to Celebrate Thanksgivuk-kah, the Best Holiday of All Time."

Flax is looking forward to the occasion. “I’m excited to celebrate Thanksgivukkah, as it will not occur in almost 80,000 years. We will

light the Chanukah menorah for the first time on Thanksgiving night, and we might try some crossed dishes, like sweet potato latkes.”

Though some feel that Thanksgivvu-kah trivializes both holidays, many Jewish people see similarities between the two. “There aren't many historical similari-ties. I feel, however, they both are holidays with big meals, family, being thankful, and celebration,” Flax says.

largest number of members in the United States, a fluctuating 30% of the student body.

The important question is why a minority of 30% has been able to control campus for decades. The overwhelming answer is decades of enforced apathy, what Back calls an,“active participation in a culture of silence.”

“I always won-dered, ‘if no one cares, then why are they [the Machine] trying so hard to have complete control?’ I came up with two answers. One, there’s so much more they control that we don’t know about. Or, two, that the reason no one cares is because of the Machine. People keep talking about campus apathy, well, that’s the reason. It’s not even worth it to click on the myBama login to vote.”

The Machine’s growing influence became appar-ent on Nov. 13, when Judge Roberts deemed only 70 votes, ‘potentially illegal,’ ruling against Kelly Horwitz in her challenge of the controversial Dis-trict 4 school board race results. She ran against former SGA President Cason Kirby. Horwitz challenged the votes based on charges of voter fraud, intimidation, and bribery.

Back says, “This ruling has confirmed everything they believe about themselves. That they are above the law.”

The Machine has intervened in the community of Tuscaloosa before. In 1989, they began a fierce boycott against Bama Bino’s pizzeria, owned by Francis Viselli. His son, Joey, was a fierce competitor for the SGA presidency. A year after the Machine boycott, Bama Bino’s had lost $400,000 worth of business, according to reporter Kevin Stoker of The Mobile Reg-ister. Bama Bino closed its doors in 1993.

On November 19, UA’s Honors Col-lege hosted a Town Hall to improve university and community relations, in which UA President Dr. Judy Bonner and Mayor Walt Maddox were scheduled to answer questions. After a spokeswoman announced Dr. Bonner was unable to come due to an unnamed family crisis, community member’s eyebrows rose in a simultaneous wave as they quietly crumpled note cards with questions for Dr. Bonner.

When questioned about the alleged Machine involvement in the school board election, Mayor Maddox referenced run-

ning for mayor in 2005. “You could say that a local university student group had endorsed my opponent... my election came down to standing on fraternity and sorority row.”

Machine candidates often go far beyond local government, reaching up to the national political level, with

SGA as their train-ing ground. Some alleged Machine members include two legendary senators, Lister Hill and John Sparkman, as well as senior Senator Rich-ard Shelby. There

have been only seven non-Machine SGA presidents. One of the most notable is Cleo Thomas, who was elected in 1976 and remains the only African-American

SGA president. “It continues

to be a linger-ing distinction, unfortunately. A Halley’s comet non-recurrence, a historical curiosity.” Thomas said.

Thomas said a likely reason for the Machine’s success is that it provides training, campaign help, and funds for can-didates. “There’s no resource like that for indepen-dent candidates,” Thomas said.

Thomas says he did not face Machine intimidation when he ran, but, “a kind of hysterical approach, a bizarre Fox News misstatement of reality characterized the era. For example, they [other students] would ask me questions like, ‘Cleo, why did you start that riot?’ But it wasn’t a riot, it was a protest march.”

“There was a cross burned after the election, I believe. There was frustration that they didn’t win.” Thomas said that he did not face hostility from other SGA members. “In that era, there was a sense of community. All of us were working to-wards the advancement of the university.”

Thomas says that the current apathy in the student body, “is rational, though mildly depressing,” and that nothing will change if students continue to focus on the Machine’s power, instead of their own.

“If I could do it over again, I’d go to Alabama. I love it. But you don’t love it un-critically. Love makes you want to correct a person or a place, to see it live up to its highest potential. That’s what we should all try to do.”

"Nothing will change if students continue to focus on the Machine’s power, instead of their own."

MAN VS. MACHINE //CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5

The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided [or apathetic] majority.

~ Will Durant ~


if you thiNk oNe blind date is difficult, try 22 at once. On this season of CMT’s Sweet Home Alabama, Tuscaloosa’s own Kelsey Smith will narrow down the bach-elors one-by-one until she finally picks one to saddle up with.

Smith hosted a premier party at Bob’s Victory Grille on the night of the first epi-sode, and welcomed fans of the show to watch as the 22 men moved into a house in Fairhope Ala. to court Smith in hopes of being chosen as her one, true love.

Smith is a student at Shelton State Community College studying to be an elementary school teacher, a fan of SEC football and NASCAR, and a self-de-scribed Southern belle.

“I'm definitely a Southern gal, I fit right into that,” Smith said. “From sweet tea to fried food, anything Southern.”

Now that the show’s finale has been filmed, Smith’s main job is not letting any-one know which man she chose. Family members and friends have all put in their guesses, but Smith won’t say a word.

“It's hard because every girl talks about their guy!” Smith said. “He has a secret name in my phone, and we Face-Time every day. We're just waiting to go out to eat in public.”

To set up the challenge for Smith of finding the perfect man, the producers of the show had to find 22 viable partners from all over the U.S., looking for “country boys” as well as “city slickers.” Executive producer Julia Silverton said they found an authentic, attractive and fun group of guys.

“Ah, the search for suitors. It was in-tense,” Silverton said. “We scoured cities in the north as well as towns throughout the south to find the perfect mix of guys to vie for Kelsey’s heart.”

>>> THE FLAT SCREEN | W i l l i a m B a R s H o p

Smith said one of the biggest chal-lenges for her was deciding whether to stick with someone from down South, or to see what it’s like to date someone from the big city.

“Honestly I've never had a type. I've never dated a city guy though,” Smith said. “But I could picture myself with one.”

Silverton said that decision Smith struggles to make is one of the biggest draws of this season.

“She’s always wondered whether she should stick to her roots and find a country boy to settle down with, or if she should spread her wings, date a city guy and see how she likes it,” Silverton said. “So 11 country and 11 city boys will try to win her over, but what I like about Kelsey is that she’s no pushover. She keeps them on their toes as she makes up her mind.”

Smith’s mother, Amy McCool, said seeing her daughter meet her suitors on TV was strange, but not as uncomfortable as she expected. She said Kelsey’s father is the one who might want to look away at some of the more romantic parts of the show

“It’s been crazy, seeing her on commercials has been unreal,” McCool said. “On the first episode I cried like a baby, I’m glad I watched it by myself.”

McCool said of all the reality shows on TV, she felt the safest with her daughter being on Sweet Home Alabama, because she knew the show wouldn’t make a spectacle of her Southern upbring-ing. She also said Kelsey had the right personality to be up front with the bachelors about how she felt.

“She is what she is, you don’t

REALITY SHOW STARS TUSCALOOSA BACHELORETTE // AND 22 SUITORS

have to guess,” McCool said. “There’s something about her. She has a great personality, she’s got a shine about her.”

Of course, while romance is at the center of Sweet Home Alabama, the staple of so many reality shows is conflict between the contestants, and Silverton said there was plenty of tension as the competition went on.

“We have some of the most outspoken guys ever so there’s no shortage of con-flict…or jealousy,” Silverton said, “In fact, one guy takes it overboard this season and the consequences are dire.”

Neither Silverton nor Smith said just what the contestant did out of jealousy, or if he was able to stay on the show.

Smith said the disagreements between

the men were mostly hidden from her, but she could tell when something was up.

“Of course there's drama, testosterone flying,” Smith said. “I didn't know about any of the drama except when one of the guys would tell me. Other than hearsay I didn't see it happening.”

On the first episode, Kelsey hosted a tailgate party on the ranch and met with each of the contestants one-on-one for a few minutes. At the end of the night she sent two of them home, one “city slicker” and one “country boy.”

The first to be sent home was Anthony Marks, who arrived at Fairhope wearing a tee shirt supporting Barack Obama, whom he helped campaign for in 2012 as a political organizer. Kelsey told him she respected his opinions, but, in this case, opposites did not attract.

The country boy Kelsey sent home was Jason Johnson, a lumberjack from Lawrenceville, Ga. In his first meeting with Kelsey he brought his pet raccoon, Mika, and invited Kelsey to let it climb on her shoulder. Kelsey politely told Jason she didn’t think they would be a good match.

Still remaining are Alex Stein, a car salesman from Los Angeles who has already antagonized several of the South-ern gentlemen about their dress and man-nerisms, Jeremy Pestor who described himself as a 31-year-old virgin, and Collin Varallo, a Birmingham landscaper some may recognize from the first season of Sweet Home Alabama.

In the coming episodes, Smith will get to know the remaining contestants on dates and situations set up by the show. While going through so many dates was definitely a wild ride, Smith said she was glad she took on the role of the Southern sweetheart bachelorette.

“I wasn't necessarily looking for the love of my life, but the guy I found might be the one,” Smith said. “I think people will be surprised who I choose.”


DICKENS DOWNTOWN // PLENTY OF CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

>>>F E S T I V I T I E S | c a R a B R a K E

startiNg the day after Thanksgiving, the feeling of Christmas is everywhere-garland is strung on everything that will stand still, and homes and streets are lit up for miles. For some people, namely in the south, it can be hard to feel the Christmas spirit because of the lack of snow and bare trees. That doesn’t mean that we have to miss out on Christmas festivities, however. The Northport Merchants Association is hosting a Northport/Tuscaloosa tradition, Dickens Downtown, held in historic Down-town Northport.

Featuring different shops in downtown, each holding its own small event, and locals in Dickens-style garb, Dickens Downtown promises to be interactive fun for all ages. Santa makes an appearance, along with Mrs. Claus. Merchant shops aren’t the only ones that participate, however. Vendors offer peanuts to passing festival goers, and baker-ies offer snacks that are Christmas themed.

The attractions and snacks aren’t the only appeal. Parents would find the Dickens-style costumes to be an interesting educational tool for kids, showing what it looked like to dress in the story.Ladies in full skirts, a few people even donning bonnets, pass out information on different organiza-tions and events.

"We have different costumes,” says Northport 5 & 10 owner Joe Hardy. “A lot of the merchants do have costumes that we use, and sometimes we change up on what we wear. But a lot of us, since it's only once a year, have our standard costumes."

With something of this magnitude taking up an entire street in Northport, one would think that it would take months of prepara-tion, but 24 years into presenting this, it’s just like a morning routine. Cutting greenery and decorating the entire street does take time, yet the experience is less stressful thanks to the practiced hands of the volun-teers and association members.

"We've done it so many years that we know the pattern,” said Hardy. "We have to wait close to the day to cut our greenery so it'll last, but we know a lot of the process that we have to do."

“Every business does their own decorating,” said Emily Wolfe Leigh, the assistant director of Kentuck, making this a community project. “Our main focus is having the demo artists.”

The artist lineup for this year is as follows: potter Kerry Kennedy, blacksmith Steve Davis, ceramicist Daniel Livingston, toy maker Larry Glover, broom maker George Jones, Jr, and the West AL Fiber Guild.

Decorating and costuming isn’t just work, it’s also enjoyable for the members. “I do love to wear costumes and this is the one time a year I can wear a costume on the job. I don't have to be in a production or at a costume party, just going about my regular business, but wearing a bustle.”

Entertainment is never an issue. Both hired bands and school choirs grace the streets of Northport. "We have different musi-cal entertainment and we try to coordinate based on the business, or if they have certain requests,” commented Hardy. “Some of the schools will come down and sing, and we place them on different corners of the street."

All of the shops stay open for business, allowing customers to browse the shops for business the next day. While it helps business, no one has to worry about having plenty of people at the event. One of the most popular events of the season, popular-ity and excitement begins early in the fall and winter season.

"I usually have people ask me in ad-vance when it is, because it's something that helps start their Christmas season,” said Hardy. “It's always the first Tuesday night in December."

Another exciting thing about Dickens? The snow! A snow machine near a lamp post allows kids and adults to play in the snow, turning Main street into a winter won-derland for all.

This year will feature a horse drawn carriage, Father Christmas, Santa and Mrs. Claus, and the snow machine. Also, Theatre Tuscaloosa will be performing skits from A Christmas Carol, and music from the 5th Alabama Regimental Band. There will also be free hot apple cider served all night to warm hands and hearts.


>>> EVENTS CALENDAR | t H E s o u t H E a s t ' s l a R G E s t

THURSDAY, NOVEMbER 28AMERiCANLUNCH CHARiTY FEASTWHEN: 11 a.m. – 3p.m.WHERE: Chuck's FishCOST: No charge – Donations welcome LINK: chucksfish.com

SUNDAY, DECEMbER 1CHRiSTMAS OPEN HOUSEWHEN: 2 – 5 p.m.WHERE: 5 locations; see belowLINK: historictuscaloosa.orgCONTACT: lucymurphy, 205.752.1998DESCRIPTION: The Jemison-Van de Graaff Mansion, the Old Tavern, the Bat-tle-Friedman House, the McGuire-Strick-land House (The Capitol School) and the Murphy African American Museum will be full of the sights, sounds, and tastes of the holidays. Special Hanukah foods will be served at the Battle-Friedman House provided by Bama Hillel with music by the T-Town Strummers. Father Christmas will be at the Old Tavern welcoming visitors while the Victorian Carolers sing carols of long ago. Period decorations will grace the Jemison-Van de Graaff Mansion and violins, hand bells, and carols will be shared by Capitol School students. Visit the Murphy African American Museum and see the most modern of the Pres-ervation Society’s homes (built in 1923) decorated for the holidays. Complete the afternoon by taking a ride in Mallisham’s Glass Slipper Carriage! Admission is free at each location.

MONDAY, DECEMbER 2 THE FORGOTTEN CAROLSWHEN: 7:30 p.m.COST: $22; $18 seniors; $14 students & childrenWHERE: Bean-Brown TheatreCONTACT: 205.391.2277LINK: theatretusc.comDESCRIPTION: Professional actors joined by community choirs and singers. The heartwarming story of Constance, a rigid nurse, and John, a very unusual patient. Theatre Tuscaloosa is partnering with the Community Soup Bowl to give back this holiday season. Audience mem-bers are encouraged to bring a canned-food donation to any performance of The Forgotten Carols and Theatre Tuscaloosa will exchange it for a coupon good for $2 off tickets to any future 2013-14 Season production.

HOMEWORK HELP WHEN: 3 - 5 p.m. WHERE: Tuscaloosa Public Library, Weaver Bolton BranchCOST: FreeCONTACT: 205.345.5820DESCRIPTION: Provides one-on-one homework assistance to students K-8th grade. It is a drop-in service; students may come and go at any time during session and must have homework with them in order to attend. This is a Monday through Thursday activity.

TUESDAY, DECEMbER 3 DiCKENS DOWNTOWNWHEN: 5 – 8 p.m.WHERE: Historic Downtown Northport

COST: FreeCONTACT: 205.792.3944DEscRiption: shops and galleries will be open. old fashioned christmas is celebrated with street performers, music, and refresh-ments.

THE FORGOTTEN CAROLSWHEN: 7:30 p.m.COST: $22; $18 seniors; $14 students & childrenWHERE: Bean-Brown TheatreCONTACT: 205.391.2277LINK: theatretusc.comDESCRIPTION: Professional actors joined by community choirs and singers. The heartwarming story of Constance, a rigid nurse, and John, a very unusual patient. Theatre Tuscaloosa is partnering with the Community Soup Bowl to give back this holiday season. Audience mem-bers are encouraged to bring a canned-food donation to any performance of The Forgotten Carols and Theatre Tuscaloosa will exchange it for a coupon good for $2 off tickets to any future 2013-14 Season production.

TEMPORARY EMERGENCY SERViCES (TES) CHARiTY FiSH FRYWHEN: 11 a.m. – 4 p.m.COST: Sandwiches $5—pre-orderWHERE: 1705 15th StreetEMAIL: [email protected]: 205.758.5535

"CAN'T FiT iT ALL iN YOUR TRUNK"WHEN: 9 a.m. – 5 p.m.COST: DonationsWHERE: 1705 15th StreetDESCRIPTION: TES is holding a two-day donation drive. Bring canned goods, clothes, furniture, etc. Make someone's holiday even better. TES of Tuscaloosa County helps individuals and families in crisis situations by providing financial and other temporary assistance.

PRE-SCHOOL STORY TiMEWHEN: 10 – 10:30 a.m. WHERE: Tuscaloosa Public Library, Story CastleCOST: Free (age 3 - 5) CONTACT: 205.391.9989EMAIL: [email protected]: Simple stories, songs, activities and crafts.

bOOK DiSCUSSiON // "UNbROKEN"WHEN: 10 – 11 a.m.COST: FreeWHERE: Library, main branchLINK: tuscaloosa-library.org

WEDNESDAY, DECEMbER 4HOMEWORK HELP WHEN: 3 - 5 p.m. WHERE: Tuscaloosa Public Library, Weaver BranchCOST: FreeCONTACT: 205.345.5820DESCRIPTION: Provides one-on-one homework assistance to students K-8th grade. It is a drop-in service; students may come and go at any time during session and must have homework with them in order to attend. This is a Monday

TABITHA, JENNY & MAX // RESCUE THEM // AND BE THANKFUL

>>> PET PLANET | T H I S M O N T H ' S P E T S

Meet Jenny, a short-haired female with a beautiful gray and white coat. Jenny is ap-proximately two and-a-half years old and was rescued along with her litter mates in a tornado-damaged area of Tuscaloosa following the April 27th tornadoes. Jenny is very sweet and affectionate. She is calm, gentle, and gener-ally low-energy. She should do well around children who can handle her gently. Jenny is used to being around other cats but has never met a dog. She is up to date on her vet care, spayed and negative for FIV/FeLK. If you are interested in adopting Jenny, contact the West Alabama Humane Society by calling 205.554.0011 or visit them on line at humanesocietyofwa.org.

Meet Tabitha, a five month old female Labrador/Retriever mix with a pretty white and golden yellow smooth coat. Tabitha is all legs right now and weighs only 21 pounds but will likely grow to around 40 or 50 pounds. She is a very sweet yet somewhat timid dog. She is friendly and playful and should be fine with other dogs. She should be great with children though she is still a bit jumpy so she would better with older children or those already used to larger dogs. Tabitha will required a fenced in yard if left outside unattended. Like any other puppy Tabitha will need training and structure to help her develop into a well-mannered adult dog. She is in the process of crate training and is up to date on her vet care. She is heartworm negative, micro-chipped and will be spayed prior to adoption. If you are interested in giving Tabitha the forever home she wants and deserves just before the holidays, visit the West Alabama Humane Society at 205.554.0011 or visit them on line at humanesocietyofwa.org.

I’m Max, a male orange and white short-haired tabby. I am about one or two years-old. I’m a super sweet com-panion to my human friends and I love to play games! However, I don’t quite know what to make of other cats; I toler-ate feline companions, though I’m not overly friendly with them, and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t like a dog at all! I’m on the prowl for a forever family who can give me a spot in their home and heart! If you are interested in giving me my forever home, call my friends and care-takers at the West Alabama Humane Society at 205. 554.0011 or visit them on line at humanesocietyofwa.org.


>>> EVENTS CALENDAR | t H E s o u t H E a s t ' s l a R G E s t

(cont'd)

through Thursday activity.

THURSDAY, DECEMbER 5 "THE NUTCRACKER"WHEN: 7 – 9 p.m. WHERE: Bama TheatreLINK: tuscarts.org

ART NiGHTWHEN: 5 – 8 P.M.COST: FreeWHERE: Historic Downtown NorthportDESCRIPTION: Come for a festive evening in downtown Northport. Galleries and shops will be open, free snacks and refreshments, live music.

Toddler TimeWHEN: 10 – 10:30 a.m.WHERE: Tuscaloosa Public Library Story Castle COST: Free - ages 2 - 3 year-oldsEMAIL: [email protected] LINK: tuscaloosa-library.org/calendar-of-eventsDESCRIPTION: Stories, songs, activities and crafts.

FRiDAY, DECEMbER 6 "THE NUTCRACKER"WHEN: 7 – 9 p.m. WHERE: Bama TheatreLINK: tuscarts.org

LOCAL ARTiST TONY bRATiNAWHEN: 9 a.m. – noonCOST: FreeWHERE: Cultural Arts CenterLINK: tuscarts.orgPHONE: 205.758.5195, ext. 6DESCRIPTION: Tuscaloosa News graphic artist, Tony Bratina, explores the traditions of Christmas around the world, past and present, in this one-of-a-kind art exhibit on display from December 6 – 27 in the Arts Council gallery at the Cultural Arts Center.

FiRST FRiDAYWHEN: 5 – 9 p.m.COST: FreeWHERE: Downtown TuscaloosaCONTACT: tuscarts.org/artnight.phpDESCRIPTION: Local galleries and artists are featured in a downtown-wide open house.

READERS' THEATER FOR CHiLDRENWHEN: 12:30 p.m.WHERE: Tuscaloosa Public Library main branch Story CastleCOST: FreeCONTACT: 205.345.5820, ext. 1134EMAIL: [email protected]: Fun, interactive story time where children listen to a story, think and ask questions about the story, and then become a part of the story by acting it out with their friends. This activity is also held the first Saturday of each month in the Story Castle at 10:30 a.m.

SATURDAY, DECEMbER 7CLAY CO-OP HOLiDAY SALEWHEN: 10 a.m. – 4:30 p.m.COST: FreeWHERE: Kentuck Courtyard of WondersDESCRIPTION: Clay Co-op members will

sell their functional and decorative works at 15% off.

CANDYLAND bREAKFAST & DANCEWHEN: 8 a.m. – noonCOST: Prepaid reservation requiredWHERE: Children's Hands-On MuseumPHONE: 205.349.4235, ext. 24EMAIL: [email protected] (ask them why they don't show prices on their website)

"THE NUTCRACKER"WHEN: 7 – 9 p.m. WHERE: Bama TheatreLINK: tuscarts.org

HOLiDAY OPEN HOUSEWHEN: 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.COST: FreeWHERE: Kentuck Gallery ShopLINK: kentuck.orgDESCRIPTION: 15% discounts off all purchases. One-of-a-kind gifts.

SUNDAY, DECEMbER 8"THE NUTCRACKER"WHEN: 2 – 4 p.m.WHERE: Bama TheatreLINK: tuscarts.org

MONDAY, DECEMbER 9WEST ALAbAMA CHRiSTMAS PARADEWHEN: 5 – 8 p.m.COST: FreeWHERE: Downtown T-Town (Greensboro Ave. at University Blvd.LINK: tcpara.orgDESCRIPTION: 38th annual Christmas parade. Tree lighting ceremony on the steps of the County Courthouse at 5:15 p.m. The parade starts at 6:30.

TUESDAY, DECEMbER 10iT'S ORNAMENTALWHEN: 7 – 9 p.m.COST: $15 prior to event; $20 at doorWHERE: Jemison-Van de Graaf MansionPHONE: 205.758.0808DESCRIPTION: The first "It's Ornamen-tal" Christmas silent auction. Original hand-painted decorated ornaments by well known local artists. All proceds will benefit Turning Point Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMbER 11RibbON CUTTiNG GRAND OPENiNG OF THE bLACK WARRiOR bREWiNG CO.WHEN: 4 – 5 p.m.COST: FreeWHERE: 2216 University Blvd.CONTACT: Joe FullerEMAIL: [email protected]

MOVING FORWARD TO THE PAST // PRESERVATION SOCIETY’S CHRISTMAS OPEN HOUSE

>>> HOLIDAY EVENT | R E G G I E A L L E N

PUBLICIZE YOUR NONPROFIT EVENT. [email protected]

with the holiday seasoN upon us, the Tuscaloosa County Preservation Society gives us the best of both worlds; inviting people from the present to experi-ence Christmas time in the past.

With their annual Christmas Open House, the Tuscaloosa County Preservation Society gives the residents of Tuscaloosa an opportunity to tour five historic locations: Battle Friedman House and Gardens, Jemison Van de Graaf Mansion, Old Tavern, The Murphy-Collins African Ameri-can Museum and the McGuire Strickland House. All buildings are decorated with period spe-cific props and plants to simulate what Christmas looked like in the Victorian style homes of the 1800s during the Christmas season.

Historic buildings like McGuire Strickland, one of the few antebel-lums left in T- town, are available to be toured while enjoying a cup of warm cider and listening to Christmas carols.

“People can drop in and visit any of those venues that they would like,” Special Event Coordinator, Lucy Murphy, said. “They don’t have to visit all five, but if they choose to visit all five, they can. We will have refreshments at every site and people can drop in and listen to the enter-tainment and move on to the next house and view their decorations.”

With the voluntary aid of the Tuscaloosa Garden Club, Greensboro Gardens Club, Coker Garden club and the Ceres Garden club, all houses are deco-rated with the many plants that were found in the homes of the specific eras.

“They have done their homework,” Murphy said. They know what Victorian means and know what is period specific, and that is the way they have decorated them. Everything is all natural. They didn’t have Christmas lights in 1827. They didn’t have perfectly round balls in 1827. They used pinecones and peacock feathers for decorations.”

Aside from refreshments, each build-ing is equipped with its own individual en-tertainment. Entertainment includes the T-Town Strummers, Victorian Carolers, Tuscaloosa Belle Musicians, the Capitol School hand bells group as well as a visit from Father Christmas. In addition, the en-tertainment one of the buildings, McGuire Strickland will feature an exhibit of Christ-mas trees done by the students from the Capitol School. The trees will represent different nations around the world.

When attendees are not touring the buildings, Mallisham’s Glass Slipper Car-riage Tours will be offering free horse-drawn carriage rides in their Christmas carriage. The Carriage will ride along the route of the historic buildings throughout the duration of the open house.

Murphy believes that the open house has a dual purpose of not just kicking off the holiday season, but informing Tuscaloosa residents on the need for preservation of what remains from the past.

“It’s historic in nature, in that all the buildings are very old. It gives people an opportunity to visit as well experience the Christmas decorations. It is a great opportunity to come and see the Battle Friedman or the Jemison if they never saw it before. It is just another opportunity to get people involved in preservation and see what we still have in Tuscaloosa and to learn about the families that once oc-cupied these homes.”

Murphy said the open house is one of the best advantages that the Tuscaloosa County Preservation Society has to of-fer. While the historic buildings are open throughout the year, depending on the time of the year, many of the tours have a nominal price to help absorb the expenses of upkeep.

“It’s December first,” Murphy said. I can’t think of a better way to kick off the Christmas season than to appreciate what ‘s been done in the past and looking for-ward to what can be done in the future.”

The open house will be from 2- 5 p.m on December 1 and will be free to the public.

Happy Holiday Season


Fox Theatre660 Peachtree St NE 404.881.2100

The Hangout251.948.3030thehangout1.com

Marathon Music Works 1402 Clinton St615.891.1781

Minglewood Hall1555 Madison Ave901.312.6058

>>> R OA D T R I P D I R E C T O RY Travel the South's best venues. Visit their website for ticket info and more.

Acoustic Café2758 County Hwy 9205.647.3237

Amphitheater at the Wharf23101 Canal Rd251.224.1020

Bridgestone Arena501 Broadway615.770.2000

Centennial Olympic Park265 Park Ave W NW404.223.4412

Moe’s Original BBQ6423 Park Dr251.625.7427

Montgomery Performing Arts Center201 Tallapoosa St334.481.5100

The Nick2514 10th Ave S205.252.3831

Sloss Furnaces20 32nd St N

205.324.1911Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre2200 Encore Pkwy 404.733.5010

Von Braun Center700 Monroe St SW256.551.2345

WorkPlay500 23rd St S205.380.4082

Zydeco2001 15th Ave S205.933.1032

>>> ROAD TRIP | s o u t H E a s t E R n co n c E R t s a n D E V E n t s

MONDAY, DECEMBER 2BIRMINGHAMIcona Pop, WorkPlay Theater

NASHVILLE Keb’ Mo’, Mansion at FontanelThe Time Jumpers, 3rd and Lindsley Bar and Grill

NEW ORLEANSMagnetic Ear, Gasa Gasa

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 3ATLANTAChris Cornell, Center Stage

NASHVILLE Rascal Flatts, Ryman Auditorium

BIRMINGHAMEtta May, Comedy Club Stardome

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 4BIRMINGHAM Elisium, Iron Horse Cafe

NASHVILLEJohn Mayer, Bridgestone ArenaMartina McBride, Ryman AuditoriumSuicide Girls, Marathon Music WorksAnthony Green, Mercy Lounge/Cannery Ballroom

NEW ORLEANSSarah McCoy and the Oopsie Daisies, Spotted Cat

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 5BIRMINGHAM Trombone Shorty and Orleans Ave., WorkPlay TheaterTaproot, Highnote

MONTGOMERYRoots And Boots, Montgomery Performing Arts CenterElisium, Rock Bottom

NEW ORLEANSKanye West, New Orleans ArenaSuicide Girls, House of Blues

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6 BIRMINGHAMThose Darlins, Bottletree Cafe

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 28BIRMINGHAMMissUsed, Tin Roof

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 29 BIRMINGHAMTaylor Hollingsworth, The Nick

MONTGOMERYMissUsed, War Eagle Supper Club

ATLANTAMoon Taxi, Buckhead TheaterAmos Lee, Cobb Energy Performing Arts CentreBlackberry Smoke, TabernacleTyler Farr, Wild Bill’s

NASHVILLE Casting Crowns, Bridgestone ArenaGabe Dixon, 3rd and Lindsley Bar and Grill

NEW ORLEANSMark and the Pentones, Funky Pirate

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 30ATLANTAYanni, Fabulous Fox TheaterShawn Mullins, Variety Playhouse

BIRMINGHAM Veil of Maya, zydeco

MONTGOMERYVelcro Pygmies, War Eagle Supper ClubPunk DJs, Rokcotlan

NEW ORLEANSEric Lindell, Tiptina’s

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 1MONTGOMERYJoey Gilmore, Capitol Oyster Bar

BIRMINGHAMJaheim, BJCC

ATLANTA Fates Warning, The Masquerade

NEW ORLEANSThird Eye Blind, House of Blues

to HaVE YouR VEnuE anD EVEnts listED HERE plEasE Email [email protected] to BE incluDED in tHE nEXt issuE.

MONTGOMERYNora Jane Struthers & The Party Line, Alley BarKing David, The Mansion

ATLANTAMonster Magnet, The MasqueradeJason Isbell, Buckhead TheaterCarolina Chocolate Drops, Variety PlayhouseSinbad, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre

NEW ORLEANSRed Fang, All Ways LoungeDeadeye Dick, Howlin’ Wolf

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7BIRMINGHAMTrans Siberian Orchestra, BJCCSpunk Monkeys, Iron Horse Cafe

NEW ORLEANSJohn Mayer with Phillip Phillips, New Orleans ArenaTaylor Hicks, HarrahsNick Kroll, The Civic TheaterBonnie Raitt, Saenger TheaterReverend Red and Duane Mark, Howlin’ Wolf

ATLANTAJamey Johnson, Wild Bill’sMint Condition, Atlanta Civic Center

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 8MONTGOMERYVictor Wainwright, Capitol Oyster Bar

NASHVILLETrans Siberian Orchestra, Bridgestone ArenaAnimal Collective, Marathon Music WorksBrian Setzer Orchestra, Ryman Auditorium

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10 BIRMINGHAMAugust Burns Red, zydecoThe Grahams, The Nick

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 11NASHVILLE Andrew Peterson, Ryman Auditorium

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12ATLANTAThe Devil Wears Prada, The Masquerade

fun. // OCTOBER 22 // ATLANTA

BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY // BIRMINGHAM // OCTOBER 25

SHUGGIE OTIS // NASHVILLE // OCTOBER 24

CELTIC THUNDER // ATLANTA // NOVEMBER 16

XXXXXX // XXXXXXX

EAGLES // BIRMINGHAM // NOVEMBER 18

YANNI // ATLANTA // NOVEMBER 30

ETTA MAY // B'HAM // DECEMBER 3

MARTINA MCBRIDE // NASHVILLE // DECEMBER 4

NORA JANE STRUTHERS // MONTGOMERY // DECEMBER 6

TRANS SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA // BIRMINGHAM // DECEMBER 7

BONNIE RAITT // NEW ORLEANS // DECEMBER 7

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA // ATLANTA // DECEMBER 12


TO HAVE YOUR BAR AND MUSIC EVENT

LISTED HERE PLEASE EMAIL

[email protected]

4th & 23rd

1831 // 331-4632

Alcove // 469-9110

Bear Trap // 345-2766

Big Al's // 759-9180

The Booth // 764-0557

Buffalo Wild Wings // 523-0273

Capones // 248-0255

Carpe Vino // 366-8444

Catch 22 // 344-9347

Copper Top // 343-6867

Downtown Pub // 750-0008

Gallettes // 758-2010

Gnemis Top Shelf Tavern // 343-0020

Grey Lady // 469-9521

Harry's Bar // 331-4151

Houndstooth // 752-8444

Innisfree // 345-1199

Jackie's Lounge // 758-9179

The Jupiter // 248-6611

The Legacy // 345-4848

Mellow Mushroom // 758-0112

Mikes Place // 764-0185

Mugshots // 391-0572

The Red Shed // 344-4372

Rhythm & Brews // 750-2992

Rooster's Blues House // 334-4507

Rounders // 345-4848

>>> LO C A L B A R S

>>> TUSCALOOSA MUSIC | WHo's plaYinG aRounD toWn

FRIDAY,NOVEMBER 29Rhythm & Brews: LynamJupiter: DJ Pandora, DJ Houndstooth

SATURDAY,NOVEMBER 30Rhythm & Brews: Mojo TrioJupiter: DJ Silence

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 4Rounders: BorlandGreen Bar: Open Mic w/ Ham Bagby

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 5Green Bar: Junkyard Kings

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6 Green Bar: Memphis Dawls Jupiter: DJ Alchemy

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7Rounders: Soul Tide Green Bar: Satan's Youth Ministers / The Crown ImpsJupiter: DJ Silence

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 11 Rhythm & Brews: KaraokeGreen Bar: Open MicRhythm & Brews: DJ ProtoJ

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12Jupiter: CBDB

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 13Jupiter: DJ Houndstooth

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 14Jupiter: DJ Silence

SEAN RIVERS TRIOOCTOBER 25 & 26 // ROUNDERS

CbDbJUPiTER // DECEMbER 12

JUNKYARD KiNGSGREEN bAR // DECEMbER 5


X


JASON MILLER BANDRHYTHM & BREWS // AUGUST 3

>>> HIGH TIDE | G a R Y H a R R i s

DA'SHAWN HAND // BAMA HAS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS

Nick sabaN stresses the importance of finishing strong. That's not just for the players on the field, it also applies to the coaches in recruiting. It appeared for months that star DE/LB Da'Shawn Hand (6-4, 256) of Woodbridge, VA would likely pick the Michigan Wolverines. But down the stretch, Alabama came on strong, impressing Hand enough during his of-ficial visit on the weekend of October 26 to sway him to the Tide.

"I took two visits up there," Hand said at his announcement ceremony today. "I went to a camp and I got to see how the campus life is outside of the football season. I went on my official and I saw the gameday atmosphere and the culture. They've got a winning tradition.

"All the coaches care about their play-ers. They don't lie to you. They tell you how it is. I know when I go in that I'm not going to be number one on the depth chart. I know that I'm going to have to do a lot of hard work. They have the most freshmen playing this year. Anything is possible."

Prior to Hand's official visit to Alabama, the Tide staff was aware that academics would play a key role in Hand's decision. A detailed presentation of UA's engineer-ing program was prepared for Hand's visit. That played a major part in his decision.

"Dean [Chuck] Karr, who is the engi-neering dean, he's a football guy," Hand said. "I love that guy, man. Like I said, I love Civil Engineering and I love that ma-jor. A couple of the players that actually play are taking that major."

"It was hard, but I think I made the right decision. Roll Tide!"

What weighed most in Hand's decision?They offer the best of both world's,"

Hand said. "I'll start with academics. They have my major. I can relate with Dean Karr. I haven't met the professors yet, but I'll do that. I fell in love with the campus, the campus life is amazing, the players, I know half the team already, and that coaching staff. The coaching staff is amazing. And why not go where there's a great possibility that you're going to win a national championship? So, I'm just excited. Roll Tide!"

RAEKWON MCMiLLANbama is in The Mix

There's a battle going on for linebacker Raekwon McMillan. The 6-2, 243-pound, Hinesville-Liberty County, GA star is try-ing to decide between Alabama, Clemson and Ohio State.

A few weeks ago, McMillan was in Tuscaloosa on an official visit for the LSU game.

"Alabama did a great job on the visit," Liberty County coach Kirk Warner says. "Raekwon told me it was a great visit. He saw everything he needed to see. They answered all of his questions. They showed him how they would use him. They made a strong impression on him."

One area where Alabama still might have more ground to make up is convinc-ing McMillan that he'd have a shot at playing as a freshman. Ohio State, long considered the leader for McMillan, is of-

C.J. Hampton

Gary Harris is Sports Director of Tuscaloosa's WVUA-TV, and can be seen nightly at 5, 6, and 10 p.m.

fering immediate playing time. Clemson is telling McMillan that they need him more than the others do.

"Playing time is definitely something that is part of his decision," Warner says. "I've told him that because he's going to be an early enrollee, he'll have all the opportunity he needs to get into the rota-tion early no matter where he goes. He'd have the same opportunity at any of the schools. I've told him that he needs to think about that."

It's been speculated that another key fac-tor in McMillan's decision could be distance.

"It's about six-and-a-half hours to Tuscaloosa. I don't think that's too far," Warner says. "If he's willing to go that far, I don't think the drive to Ohio State should be that much of a factor, because it would be a long drive for him either way. Clemson could be kind of a compromise, because it would be closer to home. That could help Clemson out a little."

While most think that Ohio State and Clemson have the inside track, Warner says not to count out Alabama.

"I wouldn't count out Alabama at all," Warner says. "They really made a good impression on his visit, and they could be playing in their third straight national cham-pionship game. I think if they make it to that game again, you never know, that could weigh in his decision. They have a winning tradition and that means something."

C.J. MOSLEYFinalist For Awards

Alabama linebacker C.J. Mosley has

been named a finalist for the Bronko Nagur-ski Trophy and the Rotary Lombardi Award.

Mosley, from Mobile, Ala., is the leader of the Crimson Tide’s vaunted defense that ranks first nationally in scoring de-fense (10.2 ppg), third in rushing defense (91.1 ypg), third in first down defense (140), fifth in total defense (272.2) ninth in pass defense (181.7 ypg) and 13th pass efficiency defense (107.8).

Mosley is one of four finalists for the Rotary Lombardi Award and one of five for the Bronko Nagurski Trophy. Missouri’s Michael Sam is the only other finalist from the SEC.

The Nagurski Trophy is awarded by the Football Writers Association of America and the Charlotte (N.C.) Touchdown Club to the nation’s top defensive football player. The Lombardi Award is presented by the Rotary Club of Houston and honors the na-tion’s top interior lineman or linebacker.

Mosley leads the team with 81 tackles while recording 7.0 tackles for loss, five pass breakups and a team-high eight quarterback hurries. He has been the SEC Defensive Player of the Week for two straight weeks and is a nine-time Alabama Defensive Player of the Week. Mosley is also a semifinalist for the Butkus Award, Bednarik Award and the Lott Impact Trophy.


>>> I N V E S T I G AT I O N | C O N T I N U E D F R O M P A G E 4

HOLIDAY CRIME // BETTER WATCH OUT

during the holiday season can go easily undetected in its beginning stages and affect not only the firms in questions, but also their consumers.

“Sixty-nine percent of respondents believe Internet fraud is becoming frequent and severe”, the study reported. “Only 23 percent of respondents say most internet fraud that occurs on their company’s web-sites are quickly detected and remediated.”

Customer loyalty is a key business concept when considering the consumer driven nature of the holiday season. As credit cards max out and leave customers grasping for funds, the same can be said for a company that experiences trouble on their website when compromised from the outside. Accord-ing to the Ponemon study, this result in substantial loses.

“While shoppers on Cyber Monday can significantly boost sales, just one hour of downtime as a result of an attack could mean an average loss of almost $500,000. Or, about $8,000 for every minute a purchase is prevented or the integrity of the website compro-mised. It gets worse when you consider what the cost could be to customer loy-alty if it becomes impossible to make a purchase or there is perception that the website is not secure. According to the companies in our study, an average of $3.4 million is what reputation and brand damage can cost as a result of the loss of customers.

Although the possibility of cyber theft during the holidays is more prevalent in online mediums than in past years, precautions are normally stronger in-store and weaker online, which leaves shop-pers susceptible to criminal scams.

“Sixty-four percent of respondents say their organizations have seen an increase in Internet fraud and/or attempt-ed website attacks during high traffic days such as Cyber Monday”, the study reports. ”However, only one-third say

they are taking special precautions to ensure high availability and integrity of customer-facing websites during high traffic days such as Cyber Monday. That is why most rate their companies as not being suf-ficiently prepared for the increased traffic and likelihood of an attack.”

According to an FBI press release, increased holiday web traffic will mean that

shoppers should be aware of how and where they shop online during the season to avoid potential scammers and their traps.

“Scammers use many techniques to fool potential victims including fraudulent auction sales, reshipping merchandise purchased with a stolen credit card, sale of fraudulent or stolen gift cards through auction sites at discounted prices,” the re-lease said. “[Criminals may also attempt] Phishing e-mails advertising brand name merchandise for bargain prices or e-mails promoting the sale of merchandise that ends up being a counterfeit product.”

In the same release that focused on cyber crime, the FBI cited online criminals

capitalizing on holiday shopping events as a major source of criminal activity.

“Black Friday has traditionally been the biggest shopping day of the year,” the release said. “The Monday following Thanksgiving has more recently been labeled Cyber Monday, meaning the e-commerce industry endorses this special day to offer sales and promotions without interfering with the traditional way to shop. Scammers try to prey on Black Fri-day or Cyber Monday bargain hunters by advertising one-day only promotions from recognized brands. Consumers should be on the watch for too good to be true e-mails from unrecognized website.”

The FBI also warned holiday shoppers to be wary of the way that they shop, con-sidering the increasing use to new forms of technology out of convenience, which

can result in the consumer becoming a target in mediums such as Facebook.

“Along with online shopping comes the growth of consumers utilizing social networking sites and mobile phones to satisfy their shopping needs more easily,” the release said. “Again, consumers are encouraged to beware of e-mails, text messages, or postings that may lead to fraudulent sites offering bargains on brand name products.”

In both the residential and business sectors, property crimes and violent crimes see a definite spike during the holiday season according to Sgt. Dale Phillips, commander of the Tuscaloosa Metro Homicide Unit.

“Burglary and theft occur more than violent crimes during the holidays mainly because people have more valuables in their homes,” he said. “This creates more of an opportunity for criminals to steal items and property that they can then sell and make money from.”

According to Phillips, the numbers of crimes during the holidays rise and fall given particular variables but many result simply from excesses and tempers during holiday festivities.

“It normally starts a little bit before thanksgiving because a lot of these bur-glaries will slow down after school gets out because there will be more people at home,” he said. “As far as violent crimes, we tend to see an increase in domestic related crimes such as assaults and do-mestic violence cases. More families get together during the holidays. Sometimes in these situations, people come together that probably shouldn’t be or have do-mestic issues with each other. You bring them together or sometimes force them together and once that happens then it can lead to arguments, which can often times result in violence. “

While the holidays are often viewed as a joyous time accented by an assump-tion of peace on earth and good will to all, this season does not mean that criminal investigations or crimes cease to persist. According to Phillips, investigations dur-

ing this time must be handled with the upmost care and sincerity.

“One year for example, we had a death investigation that involved a home-less man being found deceased on a family’s porch on Christmas morning”, he said. “Our investigators had to work the case, do a thorough job and try not to dis-rupt the holidays for that particular family.”

Phillips recommended that for a safe holiday season, the appropriate measures must be taken in several ways.

“During the holidays, people need to lock up their valuables, homes and cars”, he said. “If they are going to consume al-cohol, do it in moderation. A large number of violent crimes we investigate are direct-ly related to alcohol or drugs. People just need to realize around the holiday season that they need to take special precautions to protect their property and themselves."

For those who witness a crime being committed during the holidays or otherwise, contact Tuscaloosa Crime Stoppers at 205.752.7867 to provide an anonymous tip.


Do you have a talent for writing? You seem to have a precise and clear way of expressing yourself. and it's possible you use this gift of yours in your career. this week, you might want to use it to express your feelings about someone. Whether you write to a family member or compose a love letter, you'll be particularly inspired.

You have a pleasant week ahead. people may be a little less playful, but they'll be all the more caring in their relationships. that's just how you like them! Everything is on your side for you to express your feelings to someone close. Do it now! this atmosphere will only last a few days.

You won't be disappointed this week. over the next few days you're going to put your analytical way of thinking aside and let your feelings guide you. You'll be attentive to the people you love. if someone needs your help, you can be counted on to come to the rescue. You'll spare them the lecture about what they've done wrong!

this week is great for creativity, especially the kind that shows your special style. You're productive, although what you've been creating is just a reflection of the latest fashions. this is one of your drawbacks, as it keeps you from being true to your special style. You should use your feelings as your inspiration.

this week let your emotions mingle with your thoughts. What good is telling yourself that you must like something if you really can't stand it? What good are grand principles if your heart isn't in them? take the time to put your head in sync with your heart as of now.

You love to have very serious discussions about important issues well into the night. You rebuild the world the way you'd like to see it with your friends. But now you start yawning around ten and are in bed within the hour. this is true this week, too. are you tired or do you need to be alone to think about things?

You're sensitive to the world around you. it's like you're thinking with your heart. it's possible you'll be more impressionable and less objective when your emotions get the better of you in your relationships. if you'd hoped to hide something from someone, it won't work. Even if you say nothing, it's written on your face.

Do you often act as if the world is static and nothing ever changes? sometimes you may think that humankind is a certain way, the world is a certain way, and so this is what you're going to do. Have you ever heard of evolution? the human race is constantly evolving, and so is the world. look around!

You should expect to feel warmth in your contact with other people this week. Your relations will have something particularly tender and caring about them. it's like people are suddenly much more attentive and sensitive. the universe is like one big, happy family. You can confide in other people. Don't be afraid to talk about your most intimate feelings with a friend.

>>> HOROSCOPES | W E E K l Y o V E R V i E W

this week someone might ask what you're thinking about. You often think about things that are inaccessible to others. it will be like you've gone inside yourself on your quest for answers to spiritual questions or the secrets of life. Just tell him or her you're trying to rest, as they probably won't understand what you're thinking about anyway.

You may feel like going into your past. one half of you feels nostalgia for the "good old days." the other half lives for the future and is unafraid to project into the unknown. Even though this sounds a bit contradictory, both these sides of you help the world move forward. think about this today.

It's easy to play Sudoku! simply fill every column, row and 3x3 box so they contain every number between 1 and 9. the game is easy to play but difficult to master! solution page 27

if you had to take a test this week, and had a choice between poetry and physics, you wouldn't hesitate. poetry. it's about interpretation, not analysis. a change in the atmosphere over the next few days is going to affect your thinking. You should expect some confusion in your contact with the people closest to you.

>>> PUzzLEMANIA | s u D o K u


>>> PUzzLEMANIA | c R o s s W o R D p u Z Z l E

SOLUTION FOR PUzzLEMANIACROSSWORD ON PAGE 27

Across1. ___ Pahlavi (former shah of Iran)5. Plasters10. Warsaw ___ of 195514. Cooking chamber15. "No problem!"16. Month after Shebat17. Dr. Frankenstein's workplace19. Run out of steam20. Make used (to)21. High-ranking army officers23. King or Young26. Singer Bryant and others27. Toy with a built-in surprise32. "Deep Space Nine" changeling33. ___ de Lion, epithet for Richard I34. Company that makes the Pocket Fisherman38. Siren's sound40. Lion voiced by Liam Neeson in "The Chronicles of Narnia"42. Queen in "The Lion King"43. Type of poetry45. Gun that fires electric darts47. Pas' mates48. Childbirth51. Lure into a crime54. Fast PC connections55. "___ of London" (1935 film)58. Bad ball to be behind62. "____ a man with..."63. "Do tell!"66. Redded up67. German novelist: 1837- 9868. Mork's sign-off, when doubled69. Chihuahua cat70. Name in cosmetics71. Army drill instructor, often: Abbr.

Down1. Dr. Zhivago, to Omar Sharif2. 'Thirteen' actress ___Rachel Wood3. Indian beast of burden

4. Winter wear5. Day: Sp.6. Long-distance inits.7. Quadrennial games org.8. Queens or Staten Island, informally9. '70s space place10. First Lady, 1969-7411. On ___ (counting calories)12. Sarcastic 'Cheers' waitress13. Amount of hair18. Survival22. Words before "about"24. Forest ox25. Bikini trials, briefly27. Cheek by ___ (close together)28. "I took ____ to search for God": Carman29. Coconut-husk fiber30. Luau dances31. Wiped off the blackboard35. Jan, Jane, Jen, Jean, Joan, John, or June36. Scotsman's family37. Kiln for drying hops39. Text of an opera41. Buntline and Rorem44. Bear's scratcher46. CSA signature49. Heroic poem50. Churchill flashed them during W.W. II51. "Dallas" surname52. Home of Hercules's lion53. Halloween trick preventer, in theory56. Lawyers' degrees57. Yard sections59. Tibetan antelopes60. ___ Kong, China61. Carpenter's metal piece64. 'You ___ the Sunshine of My Life'65. Opposite NNW


Train

Flo Rida

Robert Randolph & The Family band

Q: Simone,I’m in a situation, such a big mess, re-

ally, that it’s difficult for me to even write to you about it, although this is anonymous. I’m so angry, embarrassed, humiliated, confused. I’m a 29-year-old guy who was married for eight years and had a child when I met Samantha. (My marriage came about at age 21 when I got a woman I was dating pregnant. I wasn’t happy; my ex has an untreated eating disorder, but I love my child.)

Samantha came onto me strong (a pattern of hers) and it resulted in an affair. After a while I felt guilty and broke it off, but then I found out she was seeing other guys, and I became jealous (I know, crazy but true. Pathetic.). I ended up divorcing my wife and moving in with Samantha, although she doesn’t like kids and wasn’t very kind to my young son. Samantha and I were together for five years, but I felt guilty the whole time. And I didn’t trust her. Our jobs required travel; I’d call her at her hotel, but rarely did she answer at night. I became increasingly insecure and possessive, and in retaliation, I began bed-ding down other women, and she caught me. Yet, I did not want to lose her. Then while on a business trip, my best friend and her hooked up and she moved out, taking nearly everything I owned. They’re still together. I am crazy with hurt and rage over this. I feel so betrayed. This “best friend” was someone I hung out with all the time but looked up to in an insecure way, I think. There were times when he was belit-tling to me, and I just took it. He was/is the “cool” guy I aspired to be, but never felt like I was, which made me feel like even more of a fool. After Samantha left, I slashed her tires to get even. Whoa, that is a secret I’ve never admitted out loud. It’s been over a year since all of this happened, but I can’t get it out of my head. I’ve taken my anger out on other women by trying to sleep with as many as I can but then walking away afterward and never looking back. I know this is wrong, but I can’t seem to find my grounding again (if I ever had it to begin with). Help — I’m spinning!

Signed, “Dizzy”

A: Dear “Dizzy”,Wow. I’m so glad you wrote to me;

you had a lot to say. But I want to be very careful in my response. There is a lot of ground to cover. I want to begin at what might initially seem like an unlikely place, given the entirety of your message: the comments you made near the end about

>>> ADVICE | J u s t a s K

feeling uncool, looking “up to” your so-called “best” friend, feeling insecure, like a “fool”, etc. I want to begin there because, even though your message is largely about the promiscuous behaviors of your ex-girlfriend, your former “best” friend and yourself, these behaviors are only the symptoms of your lack of belief in and acceptance of yourself. If you’ve been reading this advice column for awhile, you know that my answers often take this direction.

I understand how and why you feel betrayed and foolish, taken advantage of and tricked, even. But the truth is that you set yourself up for this, and that isn’t state-ment of blame. It’s actually a statement of empowerment. From what you have described, you’ve been living your life and making your decisions as reactions to the behaviors and choices of others: you’ve been giving your power away. You’re still doing it by focusing on them instead of your-self. I’m surmising that this lack of confi-dence, sense of self-worth and self-esteem has origins early in your life, with roots that may have taken hold during the formative childhood years. Time to dig them up, dis-card them; they are and always were false. It’s time now to plant new beliefs that uphold your self-worth, that affirm the great guy that you, of course, are — even if some of your choices and related behaviors, based on the old beliefs, haven’t been so great.

Now, I’m going to say something that may feel even more shocking: this emotion-al crises that has you spinning, this seeming betrayal and humiliation, is a gift — if you allow yourself to recognize and use it as one. These chaotic relationships and the hurt they exposed couldn’t have occurred if the lack of confidence and underlying hurt weren’t already there. So, questions to ask yourself: where and when did this pain, this lack of belief in and valuation of yourself be-gin? That is where your self-work needs to begin. Leave the ladies alone for now, and try not to focus on thoughts of Samantha and your ex-best friend. Instead look within for the limiting beliefs getting you in these jams, creating conflict and guilt and keeping from experiencing joy in your life.

Where does one begin on such an inward journey, you may ask. You have actually begun just by writing this letter. Are you a reader? Do you ever stray toward the self-help isle of book stores or in searches online? That is a resource. And therapy is another. But as I tell my readers, choose your therapist as you would a good me-chanic: seek references, ask about experi-ence and methods. Empower yourself by knowing there are therapists out there with shingles hanging who know what you need and where you need to go in your self-work and others who have no clue.

You’re already on your way; finding your footing; standing steady on ever firmer ground. And again, thanks for writing. You’ve helped others as well as yourself.

Signed, Simone©2013 Simone Says-Advice. If you have a question for Simone, email [email protected], subject: Simone. Identies to queries are held in confidence. We reserve the right to edit the text.

SIMONE says...


here is a true story I re-tell every Thanksgiving, just to re-mind myself and you that every-thing that reallymatters is right before us, all the time. Here ‘tis: The saddest thing I ever saw: a small, elderly woman dining alone at Morrison’s Cafeteria, on Thanksgiving Day. Oh there are many other sadnesses you can find if you look hard enough, inthis variegated world of ours, but a diner alone on Thanksgiving Day makes you feel really fortunate, guilty, smug, relieved, tearful, grateful…it bringsyou up short and makes you time-travel to the pockets of joy and cheer you experienced in earlier days.

Crepe paper. Lots of crepe paper. And construction paper. Bunches of different-colored construction paper. In my childhood home in Tuscaloosa, my Thanksgiving Mother always made sure we creative and restless kids had all the cardboard, scratch paper, partly-used tablets, corrugated surfaces, unused napkins, backs of cancelled checks, rough brown paper from disassembled grocery bags, backs of advertising letters and flyers…anything at all that we could use to make things. Yes, dear 21st-Century young’uns, we kids back then made things from scraps. We could cut up all we wanted, and cut up we did.

We cut out rough rectangular sheets from stiff black wrapping paper and glued the edges together to make Pilgrim hats. Old belt buckles were tied to our shoelaces—we never could get it straight, whether the Pilgrims were Quakers, or vice versa, or neither. But it always seemed important to put buckles on our shoes and sandals, wear tubular hats and funny white paper collars, and craft weird-looking guns that flared out like trombones at one end. More fun than being a Pilgrim/Quaker was being an Indian—a true blue Native Ameri-can, replete with bare chest, feathers shed by neighborhood doves, bows made of crooked twigs and kite string, arrows dulled at the tip by rubber stoppers and corks, and loads of Mother’s discarded rouge and powder and lipstick and mashed cranberries smeared here and there on face and body, to make us feel like the Indians we momentarily were.

Sister Barbara and Mother would find some long autumnal-hued dresses forthe occasion, but they were seldom seen outside the kitchen for hours on end, while the eight-course dinner was under construction.

There was always an accordion-fold crepe paper turkey centerpiece on display, hastily bought on sale at S.H. Kress, just after last year’s Thanksgiving season. It looked nothing like my Aunt Mattie’s turkeys in her West Blocton front yard. And for some reason, we ate cranberry products on that day and that day only. Nobody ever thought about cranberries the other 364 days! And those lucky turkeys were lucky be-cause nobody ever thought of eating them except at Thanksgiving and Christmas. They were home free the rest of the year!

Now, back into the time machine of just a few years ago.It is Thanksgiving Day. My wife and son and granddaughter are all out of the coun-

try. Other family and relatives are either dead or gone, or just plain tied up with their own lives in other states, doing things other than having Thanksgiving Dinner with me.

My brother, Tim, my friends Tim Baer and Don Henderson and I decide that we will have to spend Thanksgiving Dinner together, since each of us is bereft of wife or play-mate or relative, this particular holiday this particular year.

So, we wind up at Morrison’s Cafeteria, eating alone together, going through the line and picking out steamed-particle-board turkey, canned cranberries, thin gravy, boxed mashed potatoes and some bakery goods whose source cannot easily be determined.

But we laugh at our situation and each other, tell jokes, cut up a bit, and thankour lucky stars that this one Thanksgiving Dinner is surely just a fluke. We’ll be trying that much harder, next year, to not get blind-sided by the best holiday of the year, Thanksgiving being the only holiday you don’t have to give gifts or reciprocate gifts or strain to find the correct gifts.

On Thanksgiving holidays ever since, I make sure I’m with family and friends, and now and then I try to set a place at the table of my mind, for any little old lady or lone friend who might want to join us, for the second saddest thing I’ve ever seen is a happy family lustily enjoying a Thanksgiving feast together and forgetting for a moment about all those lone diners in all the cafeterias of the world who could use a glance and a smile (Jim Reed's Red Clay Diary column does not end with a period (.) because it never ends)

THANKSGIVING // THE HAPPIEST SAD DAY OF THE YEAR

>>> RED CLAY DIARY | J i m R E E D

©2013 by Jim Reed

TASTY FOOD & BRILLIANT BREWS


TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA // THE GREAT HOLIDAY SPECTACLE

SOLUTION FOR PUzzLEMAINIACROSSWORD PAGE 24

>>> MUSIC | t R E Y B R o o K s

SOLUTION FOR PUzzLEMAINIASUDOKO PAGE 23

Widespread Panic

Dispatch

as christmas approaches, the radio stations all around the nation begin to focus their music around holiday staples. These normally feature the Burl Ives classics, traditional hymns and novelty songs. Interrupting this is heavy metal instrumentation fused with opera and classical composition, creating some of the most fascinating music on the planet. The artists responsible for this music is Trans-Siberian Orchestra. An eclectic mix of former producers, metal veterans and Berkley-trained profession-als, TSO combines the epic scales of classical greats and progressive rock to define the modern concert experience. They interweave classics with original material, often within the same number, and continue to expand the bounds of modern popular music with each new album. This is combined with an amazing stage show, with intense spe-cial effects and pyrotechnics alternating with subdued lighting depending on the piece. They are truly an anomaly in modern music.

TSO was born out of the ashes of the progressive metal band Savatage. Savatage had experimented with classical composition in their work, but they tended to stick to heavier elements meant to compliment metal guitar sounds. When former member John Oliva and Al Pitrelli teamed up with the band’s former producer Paul O’Neill, they began writing music that had a greater focus on the classical elements while still having a harder, rock edge. The plan was to produce a rock-opera about the Russian Revolu-tion (hence the Trans-Siberian moniker), but when that album stalled, the creative team re-routed their efforts towards a Christmas concept album. The result was the influen-tial Christmas Eve and Other Stories, released in 1996. This album was the first of their Christmas Trilogy, which also includes Christmas Attic and Lost Christmas. TSO further explored classical composition with Beethoven’s Last Night and Night Castle, also both concept albums. Further plans are to release the long delayed Russian Revolution album, as well as an album with more focus on their rock roots.

What also sets TSO apart from any other group is how they tour. The original members are split into two different touring groups with hired musicians performing their material. They will often take multiple vocalists to avoid any one losing their voice during a tour. They always have a traditional rock composition (two guitars, bass, drums, vocals, keyboard/or-gan), a full symphony orchestra, and a host of other random musicians, such as an electric violin player. The audiences also treat the show as a classical concert by dressing much more formal and applauding only after pieces instead of the raucous environments you see at most rock concerts. Their light show would make KISS blush, and yet they use minimal-ist elements as well, letting the music dictate the show and not vice versa.

I had the pleasure of seeing Trans-Siberian Orchestra in Birmingham for New Year’s Eve back in 2007. Their show consisted of two acts: the first one being the story of the Christmas Story told with a sung narration; the second act being a more traditional concert of selected works with more audience interaction. That night also saw Styx’s Tommy Shaw join them onstage for the encore. Other progressive and metal musicians have joined TSO for shows, and TSO alumni have played in bands ranging from Slayer to Journey. The show was truly one-of-a-kind and nothing I have seen before or since can prepare you for just how emotional the show can get.

TSO returns to Birmingham on December 7. The Magic City has been a staple of TSO’s tour since the beginning as local radio stations were some of the first to put their song “Christmas Eve/Sarajevo” (which uses a portion from “Carol of the Bells”) into heavy rotation around Christmas time. They tend to save some of their best for this show, so if you wish to catch them on this tour I have to recommend the Birmingham show above any other southeastern date. They truly bring the holiday to life.

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