Positive Parenting

Merawat Jiwa Anak

Dr Jalaluddin Rachmat

Bi-directional Effects

Refers to the reciprocal effects of the child on the parent and the parent on the child.

Must remember that every child is different – temperament, stress tolerance, capacity to learn, interests

Parenting Styles (Baumrind)

1.Otoriter2.Permisif3.Menolak4.Otoritatif

high control

low control

high love low love

Authoritative Authoritarian

Permissive Rejecting

Otoriter

Menetapkan aturan dan ekspektasi yang ketat dan melaksanakannya secara ketat pula

Menuntut dan mengharapkan ketaatan.

Kontrol ortu sangat penting.

Otoriter

Low loveHigh rulesAnak-anak

– Perasa (temperamental), tak bahagia, seringkali tak bersahabat

– rentan stres

Permisif

Mendahulukan kesukaan anak-anak (AAS – asal anak senang)

Jarak memaksa anak untuk mematuhi peraturan

Kebebasan berpendapat dan otonomi dihargai

Permisif

High loveLow rulesAnak-anak

– impulsif-aggresif– Pember (ontak– Berusaha menguasai (domineering) and

berprestasi rendah (low achievers)

Menolak

Tidak memperhatikan kebutuhan anak

Jarang punya ekspektasi bagaimana seharusnya anak berperilaku

Menolak

Low loveLow rulesAnak-anak

– Punya masalah psikologis– Lambat dewasa

Otoritatif

Gaya demokratisMenetapkan aturan yang jelas dan membicarakan

dengan anak-anak. Kontrol dilakukan dalam hubungannya dengan dukungan (support).

Memperhatikan perasaan dan kemampuan anak.Mengakui perspektif anak tetapi menjalankan

standar ortu.Mendorong perkembangan otonomi anak sampai

batas-batas yang wajar. Bersandar terutama sekali pada peneguhan positif

Otoritatif

High loveHigh rulesAnak-anak

– Sangat percaya diri and ceria– Sanggup mengatasi stres – achievement oriented (berorientasi pada

prestasi)

Tak Peduli (Cuek)

Tidak peduli pada apa pun Yang dilakukan anak dan membiarkan mereka berbuat apa pun selama tidak mengganggu kegiatan ortu

Main things a child needs

loverules/boundaries/someone to tell them noclear expectationsconsistence in discipline

Influencing children’s behavior:

1. RespectMutual respect between children and

parents must be fostered for growth and change to occur.

Balance of kindness and firmness.Modeling is important.

2. Consistency & Clarity

Children become confused without consistency.

A united front in the parental systemMust follow through with consequences

(promises and threats)

Clarity – a child needs to know the rules and the consequences for breaking them

3. Logical Consequences

Try to devise consequences that are appropriate to the child’s misbehavior

Logical consequences vs. punishment

3 “R’s”

1. Related to the problem behavior

2. Respectful – no humiliation

3. Reasonable – designed to teach, not to induce suffering.

4. No Physical Punishment

Negative long-term effects (anger, resentment, fear)

Behavior modification works effectively without the risk of long term consequences.

5. Behavior Modification

Reinforcement/Punishment

Reinforcer – increase the likelihood that the behavior will occur again.

positive – something implemented

negative – something aversive removed

Punishment – decrease the likelihood that the behavior will occur again.

positive – something aversive implemented

negative – something desirous removed

Timeouts

- one minute for each year of child.

- may be a positive or negative punishment.

Provide PraiseChildren depend on their parents for

the development of their self-concept.

Catch the child doing good and reinforce it.