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Presented by: Marianela Gish
www.workability.weebly.com
OverviewO e eHopes & ExpectationsRelationshipsGround RulesDefinition Of ConflictConflict Literacy Core PrinciplesWorking GroupsPresentation from Groups
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Relationships involve contracts:
Sometimes they are unspoken
Sometimes they are spoken
Sometimes they are written down Sometimes they are written down and signed
Relationships involve contracts:
What relation do you have that involve contracts ?
What are your Responsibilities?
A broken contract = ConflictA broken contract = Conflict
What are the Consequences of a broken contract?
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GROUND RULESGROUND RULES▪Negotiable▪Non‐NegotiableNon Negotiable
CONFLICTOccurs when there is an obstruction between people and their desired outcomes
Occurs because of energy created by frustration which seeks an outlet
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CONFLICTOccurs when previously programmed responses that are rewarded, guaranteeing that the person will respond in the same way again and again
Occurs because of a version of “reality” we carry around in our heads which acts as a lens through which we perceive the world. When “realities” collide, conflict results
CONFLICTCONFLICT
“A difference that becomes an issue” becomes an issue”
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A View of conflict:Conflict is an unavoidable part of everyday life
Conflict can be a positive force for pcreative change
LITERACYAbility to identify, understand, interpret, create, communicate, compute and use printed and written materials associated with written materials associated with varying contexts.
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LITERACYInvolves a continuum of learning in enabling individuals to achieve their goals, to develop their knowledge and potential and to participate and potential, and to participate fully in their community and wider society
“What is
Conflict Literacy?”Conflict Literacy?
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Conflict Literacy is defined as:yThe degree to which individuals have the capacity to obtain, process and utilize basic conflict theories and skills needed to make appropriate skills needed to make appropriate conflict management choices.
Conflict Literacy Core Principles:
1. Perception 2. Emotion 3. Communication 4. Compassion 5. Decision‐Making
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PERCEPTIONPart 1
Pre-Frontal Cortex
Amygdala
PERCEPTIONPart 1 contPart 1 cont..
AmygdalaInstinctive reaction – survival▪ Fight /Flight
Frontal CortexThoughtful reaction – realistic
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C ti Connecting the dots
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlNMtgweJf0
PERCEPTIONPart 2
Mental Model and
I li i MImplicit Memory
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PERCEPTIONPERCEPTIONPart 2
From our experiences we make generalizations which become our mental model of the world. Mental models are very useful They help us Mental models are very useful. They help us quickly sort through all the information that comes into our brain, allowing us to maneuver through our complex world.
PERCEPTIONPart 2
According to Dr. Daniel Siegel, our mental model is formed by the time we are two years old. This is significant because we have no explicit memory of because we have no explicit memory of the events that formed it.Neuroscientists refer to the first two years of life as childhood amnesia
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In your small group, take time to think In your small group, take time to think about what is on the page.
Consider the image and ask yourselves the following questions.g q
Choose one of following to get dialogue and mental reflection going
What occurs to you when you see this image?y y gWhat beliefs underlie your interpretation?What values are embedded in you interpretation?What story does the image remind you of?What issues or concerns does the image raise?What bothers you about the picture?What bothers you about the picture?What do you like about the image?What is your emotional response to this image?What else does this image make you think of?
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As you reflect on the image and each other’s y gresponse, try to understandwhat the other person is saying to you and ask further questions to clarify based on the questions listed above.
At the same time, be aware of your own responses to the image and other comments.
PERCEPTIONPart 2
“Mental models are deeply ingrained assumptions, generalizations, or even pictures or images that i fl h d t d th influence how we understand the world and how we take action”Senge, P. M. (1990) . The fifth discipline: The art and practice of the
learning organization. New York: Doubleday Publishers.
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EMOTIONS
a difference doesn’t have to become an issue
Difference Issue
Situation
EMOTIONSThe Fuel that drives differences into an issue
Difference
Issue
EMOTIONS
Situation
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EMOTIONSThe fuel that drives differences into issues
Identifying and Naming EmotionsHappiness, Sadness, Anger and Fear▪ SubtleSubtle▪ Moderate▪ Intense
Acknowledging EmotionsYour and theirs
EMOTIONS
Human GraphActivity
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DISCUSSIONWere other people’s emotions what you expected? In comparison to your response, were you surprised by the intensity or lack of intensity expressed by other participants?expressed by other participants?Did seeing other people’s responses make you re‐evaluate your response or reconfirm what you already felt?
Change what gyou think, you change what you feel.
Change what gyou feel, you change what you do.
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EMOTIONSCoping – Productive or UnproductiveCoping StrategiesChange the situationChange the meaningChange the feeling
COMMUNICATIONSending and Receiving MessagesThough WordsEncoding, Decoding and Feedback
BarriersBarriersValues and Cultural differencesAssumptionsStyles of Communication
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Video Clip: THE BREAK UP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn3I6‐DBLJM
COMMUNICATION
The swamp of the five conversations based on the Harvard Negotiation Project called:
“Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most.”
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COMMUNICATION tCOMMUNICATION cont..
1. The TruthAssumption Conversation“I’m right. You’re wrong.”
2. The Intention Invention Conversation“I know what your intentions are. And I know what your intentions are. And they are bad.”
3. The BlameGame Conversation“You are to blame. Admit it.”
COMMUNICATION tCOMMUNICATION cont..
4. The Identity Conversation“I must protect how I see myself.”
5. The Feelings Conversation“I will not talk about my feelings” I will not talk about my feelings
or “I will talk totally from my emotions”
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COMMUNICATION contCOMMUNICATION cont…
REFRAMING
The swamp of thefive conversations
COMMUNICATION contCOMMUNICATION cont…
REFRAMING 1. The TruthAssumption Conversation
“I’m right. You’re wrong.”
“Let’s explore each other’s story to better understand the situation and correct the problem.”
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COMMUNICATION cont…REFRAMING
2. The Intention Invention Conversation“I know what your intentions are. And they are bad.”
“Let’s find out what your and my “Let’s find out what your and my intentions are, what impact your actions are having on me and what impact my actions are having on you.”
COMMUNICATION contCOMMUNICATION cont…
REFRAMING 3. The BlameGame Conversation
“You are to blame. Admit it.”
“Let’s understand how we have both contributed to this dispute.”
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COMMUNICATION cont…REFRAMING
4. The IdentityConversation“I must protect how I see myself.”
“Let’s understand how this dispute affects the way we each see ourselves and affects the way we each see ourselves and move on to develop a more complex self image in order to maintain a better balance.”
COMMUNICATION cont…REFRAMING
5. The FeelingsConversation“I will not talk about my feelings.”
or “I will talk totally from my emotions.”
“Let’s address how this situation makes us feel without judging or blaming each other so we can move on to solving the problem.”
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COMPASSIONIs comprised of the blocks with which we build a bridge to the other side. Conflict left unmanaged results in polarization and psegregation.
COMPASSIONIs about the opposite: convergence and integration.
It is our ability to see the other side’s point of view even when we don’t agree with it.
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COMPASSIONIncludes “active listening” in which we demonstrate interest in the other side’s point of view by asking questions and repeating back what we have heard in order to show that we have heard in order to show that we have understood their messages. And when we haven’t understood, we ask more questions for clarity.
COMPASSIONAt its fullest expression is empathy, our ability to not only understand the other side but to experience what they are experiencing in a way that goes beyond experiencing in a way that goes beyond words.
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COMPASSIONInvolves a spiritual aspect, a sense of unity with something greater that lifts us to a better place than the one we currently inhabit. This is where the deepest level of conflict resolution occurs.
COMPASSIONLearning ConversationActive Listening▪QuestioningLi i▪ Listening
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COMPASSIONLearning ConversationActive Listening▪Questioning
O d d ▪Open‐ended ▪Close
COMPASSIONLearning ConversationActive Listening▪ Listening
E l t▪Evaluate▪Comprehend▪With Empathy
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The Neutral StoryMy Story
Your Story
The Neutral Story
The Neutral Storyh h f llIt is the story that rings true for all parties.
It involves everything you have in common—shared needs, goals and values as well as your disagreement.It is what bonds you and the other person
htogether.It reduces the size of the dispute by emphasizing the closeness between the parties and showing hope for a resolution
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The Neutral Storyl l hIt clearly states the issue.
It includes an invitation to collaborate on devising a solution.It builds a bridge between you and the th other person.
Once there is a bond, no matter how tenuous, you can start a Learning Conversation.
Vince’s & Jennifer’s commonalitiesWrite a Neutral StoryVince writes hisJennifer writes hers
Get Jennifer’s thoughts about Vince’s Neutral StoryGet Vince’s thoughts about Jennifer’s Neutral Story
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DECISION‐MAKINGTraditional Six Steps
1.Define the problem.2.Brainstorm solutions.3.Evaluate solutions.Ch l i4.Choose a solution.
5.Implement the solution.6.Evaluate the solution after implementation
DECISION‐MAKINGCost/Benefit AnalysisCost/Benefit Analysis
Costs: Benefits:
Question: What would happen if I……………?
Question: What would happen if I don’t ……?Costs: Benefits:
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COMMENTS
Q&AQ&A
Application of The Five Core Principles of
C fli t LitConflict Literacy
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In this situation:
What role does perception play?
What role do emotions play?
Wh t l d i ti l ? What role does communication play?
What role does compassion play?
What role does decision‐making play?
Group
ReportsReports
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COMMENTS
Q&AQ&A
Conflict Literacy can be viewed as:y
Thinking
Balance
Feeling Doing
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Marianela GishMarianela GishWORKABILITYP.O. Box 26574
Albuquerque, NM 87125( ) 6(505)507‐9635
www.workability.weebly.com
