Reality show application English subject leaders and...

SecondaryNational Strategy

Reality show applicationYear 8 writing task

Teacher pack

Guidance

Curriculum andStandards

English subjectleaders and teachers of EnglishStatus: Recommended

Date of issue: 01-2006

Ref: DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN

Assessing pupils’ progress in English at Key Stage 3

Reality show application

Year 8 writing task

Framework objectivesWriting 6Experiment with figurative language in conveying a sense of character and setting.

Writing tripletImagine, explore, entertain

Assessment focusesAF1 Write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts.AF2 Produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose.AF3 Organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and

structuring information, ideas and events.AF4 Construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between

paragraphs.AF5 Vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect.AF6 Write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases,

clauses and sentences.AF7 Select appropriate and effective vocabulary.AF8 Use correct spelling.

Time neededTwo consecutive lessons. Timings will need to be adapted if lessons arelonger or shorter than 60 minutes.

All the tasks are designed to be completed within two 60-minute lessons.

These timings are estimates for guidance rather than obligatory timings. The most important consideration is that pupils should have sufficient time to complete the task, working independently. Unfinished tasks are unlikelyto produce evidence on all the assessment focuses.

Teachers may adjust the timings for the task to take account of their particularcircumstances, but should bear in mind that spending overmuch time on anysection may disadvantage pupils.

Pack includesTeacher notesPages of pupil booklet OHT 1 – task description and features checklistOHT 2 – advice sheetOHT 3 – text: My MotherOHT 4 – planning sheet for My MotherPlanning sheetMarking guidelinesAnnotated exemplar responses

2 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN

Task outlineThis task requires pupils to write entertainingly about an event which vividlyportrays a friend with whom they wish to audition for a reality television show.As preparation, they study the description of a character, paying particularattention to the techniques and language features used to convey thecharacter. They then draw on what they have learned to write an entertainingportrait of their friend.

3© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3

Teacher notes

Teaching sequence

� Share the learning objective with the class, rephrasing as appropriate forthe group.

LESSON 1 Introduction (15 minutes)� Clarify what is meant by figurative language: words that create pictures in

the mind through the use of comparisons such as similes, metaphors, etc.,and point out its importance in creating vivid descriptions of character and setting.

� Explain to the class that they are going to apply to be on a reality TV show,where groups of friends have to live together in isolation from the realworld. Have a brief discussion about reality TV, and the type of people whogo on these shows.

� Introduce the task to the class (OHT 1 – page 2 of the pupil booklet),covering up the features list for the moment.– Write about an event involving one of your friends, which clearly shows

what sort of person he/she is and which creates a really vivid picture ofhim/her so that the producers of the TV programme can appreciatehis/her potential entertainment value.

� Ask pupils in pairs to text-mark the task, e.g. by underlining or highlightingthe words and phrases which identify the audience, purpose and form ofthe piece of writing they are required to write. This will help pupils toengage with the task before they look at the model of writing.

� Introduce the advice sheet (OHT 2 – page 3 of the pupil booklet), whichgives details about the TV show and suggestions as to what pupils mightinclude in their writing. Emphasise that as the audience is a televisionproduction team, the account needs to engage their interest and convincethem that the characters described would talk and behave in a way thatwould make entertaining viewing. Explain that the piece of writing shouldclearly show why this person would be good on the programme.

� Ask pupils to turn to page 3 of the pupil booklet and spend about five minutes reading through the advice sheet. They should then respond tothe suggestions by noting down some of their initial ideas for their writing.

� Take feedback from pupils on what they think are the most importantaspects of the task. To help them focus on the task, draw out theimportance of detail – of action, speech, appearance – in conveyingcharacter. Encourage pupils to highlight any other information that theclass agree to be important.

� Show the pupils the checklist of writing features for the task (OHT 1 – page 2 of the pupil booklet). Explain that other sections of the checklist will be looked at later in the lesson and then draw pupils’ attention to‘figurative language’. Ask the class for suggestions as to how figurativelanguage might feature in this task. Take some brief feedback and clarifyany misunderstanding.


This will help pupils start to become familiar with the assessment criteria forthe task before they study a model or begin their own piece.

Development (40 minutes)� Remind the class that their task is to construct an entertaining account of

an event containing vivid description which selects appropriate detail anduses figurative language to clearly reveal the character of their friend.Explain that, to help them prepare for their own piece of writing, they arenow going to read an extract from a narrative containing vivid descriptionof a character. Show the piece My Mother (OHT 3) and ask pupils to turnto page 4 in their booklet. Read the text aloud to the class as a sharedread so that less experienced readers are able to access the text.

� Then ask pupils, in pairs, to look more closely at the first five paragraphsfor examples of figurative language that create a clear picture of the maincharacter and highlight the examples that they find. Spend five minutes onthis task.

� Take some brief feedback from pupils of examples of figurative languagethey have identified, using OHT 3 to annotate the examples of figurativelanguage. Read through the examples below, highlighting them on theOHT. Discuss with the class the effect of the imagery, focusing on thecomparisons and suggestions of particular words. Clarify anymisunderstanding.

� Now display the checklist of writing features for the task and ask pupils inpairs to look again at My Mother on page 4 of their booklet and identifyother features of writing in the checklist.

� Take selective feedback for each feature in turn, asking pupils to share withthe class the examples that they found during their exploration. Seeexamples in the table overleaf.

� Now display OHT 3 to annotate the features identified from the checklist.Emphasise that these features will help them write a well-structured,entertaining description of the person they have chosen.


Features to include Examples

figurative language, including similes and metaphors

“knotted-string legs”

“one of those really phoney“mothers”

“the look of a dandelion “seed-head”“the mountain of overflowing carrier bags”

Plenary (5 minutes)� Remind pupils of the task that they are going to complete in the next

lesson and ask them to recall the features of writing to which they havebeen introduced in the lesson. Choose one quotation from My Mother andask the class to tell you which feature from the checklist it is. Dependingon the time available, this can be done for all of the features.


Features to include Examples

Use of past tense fornarrative

Use of present tense forintroducing character

Well-chosen detail

Extended noun phrases

Dialogue that revealscharacter

“I arrived home” “announced” “made me think”

“always reminds me” “a pair of rather large feet,complete the picture”

“Her head always seems to be pushed forward”

“an elongated, slim upper body”

“‘People are absolutely“fascinating’”“‘she’s just having a cup of

tea while we think aboutwhere she could spend the night!’”

“‘I couldn’t just step over her and ignore her, could I?’”

LESSON 2� Remind pupils of the learning objectives for these two lessons.

Introduction (15 minutes)� Remind pupils of the task and the features of writing for this task on page

2 of the pupil booklet. Draw attention particularly to the need to recount anincident that reveals character and to the importance of using figurativelanguage.

� Direct pupils to the advice sheet (OHT 2 – page 3 of the pupil booklet) andask them to choose one point that, as a class, they think is important toinclude in their piece of writing. Demonstrate on the board how to developthe point into an entertaining account. As you are writing, discuss yourideas and decisions out loud so that pupils can observe the process ofcomposition.

If you wish, the example below can be used. This is an attempt to exemplifythe second suggestion on the advice sheet (OHT 2). It is part of an account ofan incident that demonstrates Helen’s personality. This example containssome weak or inadequate language choices, which provide an opportunity forpupils to edit and suggest improvements.

Example: Finally catching sight of them, Helen thrust her arm into the air like anOlympic shot-putter about to throw, and bellowed to attract theirattention. They, and the rest of the audience, turned just in time to seeher as she belly-flopped on to the unsuspecting string section tuning upfor the overture, having missed her footing as she strode across thecorner of the orchestra pit.

� Check with the class that the example chosen fits the checklist of features,annotating the example on the board. Take some suggestions from theclass as to how the example might be improved and briefly discuss themerits of the alternatives proposed.

Development (45 minutes)� Show OHT 4. Explain that this was the planning for the piece,

My Mother, they studied in the previous lesson. Briefly talk through howthe plan on OHT 4 has helped to give a structure to the ideas in the My Mother piece.

� Now ask pupils to turn to the planning sheet on page 6 of the pupil booklet and complete their plan for their own piece of writing. Leave OHT4 up as a guide while they do this and refer them to the advice sheet onpage 3. Give pupils no more than five minutes to complete the planningsheet, as they had the opportunity to think through their ideas during theprevious lesson.

� Explain to pupils that they are now going to write their own text about anevent involving one of their friends which clearly shows their suitability for aTV reality show. Remind pupils to make use of the model, the checklist ofwriting features and their planning sheet to help them write. They shouldstart writing on page 7 of the pupil booklet. They should spend 30 minuteson this.


These are not test conditions so prompt pupils if necessary (e.g. to writemore, to explain themselves more clearly and so on). Do not, however, providesupport of a kind that means that pupils are no longer responding to the taskindependently. If this kind of support is necessary for an individual in thecontext of the lesson, you will need to take the degree of support into accountwhen making the assessment judgement.

It is good practice to:� tell pupils if they have not written enough or are writing too much;� prompt them to explain their answer more clearly;� generally encourage them;� clarify a question or issue for the whole class if there seems to be a fairly

general misunderstanding;� remind pupils how much time they have left to complete the task.

� In the last ten minutes, ask pupils to check their work for technicalaccuracy and against the checklist of writing features. They should tick the feature when they have found evidence that it has been addressed.

Assessment� Use the marking guidelines to judge the pupils’ overall levels on the

assessment focuses. Highlight, then tick, the sections of the markingguidelines according to the features you find and then consider whetherthe weight of evidence is at secure or low level 3, 4 or 5.

� Annotated exemplar responses to the task at every level are also includedfor reference and to give guidance on how the criteria are to be applied.


These materials have been developed by QCA in partnership with the Secondary National Strategy.

The help provided by the teachers and pupils who have trialled the materials as part of the Monitoring Pupils’ Progress in English project has been invaluable.


My mother always reminds me of a young, inquisitive ostrich. It’s not just that she’s tall, it’s theoverall shape created by an elongated, slim upper body and a pair of knotted-string legsseparated by a large middle portion. A small head, framed by wispy strands of hair that refuseall attempts at control, and a pair of rather large feet, complete the picture.

Her head always seems to be pushed forward, as if trying to get a better look at something.This is because she usually is: her very clear, very blue eyes are short-sighted and she’s alwayslosing her glasses; but it’s also because she takes such an intense interest in just aboutanything and everything. Some of my friends say that when they first met her they felt likethey were under interrogation, but then they came to realise that she was just interested – inthem, their families, in what they do, think, everything! “People are absolutely fascinating,Jane! They teach you so much!”

She’s really embarrassing to be with, sometimes, because she talks to anyone – and this is whyI arrived home last week and found a ‘bag-lady’ drinking tea in our kitchen.

“This is Annie – she’s just having a cup of tea while we think about where she could spend thenight!” announced my mother in response to the look of horror on my face as I took in themountain of overflowing carrier bags, and the twitching of my nose as it tried to identify theunfamiliar smell. The over-bright tone, and the way even more strands of hair than usualseemed to have escaped, giving her the look of a dandelion seed-head, made me think thatmy mother was not really on top of the situation.

“I’m just going to help Jane get started on her homework, Annie – won’t be a minute!” shetrilled, sounding like one of those really phoney mothers they have in situation comedies onthe television, while propelling me very firmly back through the kitchen door and into theliving room.

“What’s going on?” I demanded as my mother closed the door behind us and collapsed ontothe sofa.

“Don’t ask!” she said – then proceeded to tell me.

Apparently, my mother had arrived home from work to find Annie sitting on our frontdoorstep, in the rain, surrounded by her collection of bags, and crying.

“Well I couldn’t just step over her and ignore her, could I?” pleaded my mother.

Which is why she had brought her in for a cup of tea and listened to her tale of woe, which,as far as my mother could make out basically came down to her having nowhere to spend thenight – “though she doesn’t seem to have a very secure grip on reality – and her sense ofdistant past and recent past seems a bit confused, I must admit,” remarked my mother, absent-mindedly winding a loose thread around her finger as she tried to make sense of Annie’srambling tale.

“I’ve made all sorts of suggestions and phoned every department I can think of that mighthave some sort of responsibility for situations like this and, well, I can’t find anybody to takeany responsibility. It really is a terrible state of affairs . . . ”

Before she could get on her soapbox about social responsibility, I cut in.

Text/Page 4 of pupil booklet


“So what are you going to do?”

“The thing is,” she replied, “she seems to think that because I asked her in, she can stay here …” Her voice tailed off and she looked at me questioningly, as if she was hoping that Iwould say that was a marvellous idea, absolutely no problem whatsoever!

“Dad’ll go mad,” I said.

As the faint, desperate gleam of hope faded from her eyes, we both heard a door slam.“That’ll be him!” she gasped.

My father is a lovely, patient man – very caring, but he thinks that some of my mother’s‘projects’ as he calls them, go beyond what he can reasonably be expected to agree to; I thinkthis could be one of those ‘projects’. And looking at my mother’s expression as she leapt upoff the sofa, I think even she recognised that fact.

“You see to Annie,” she hissed, “I’ll talk to him!” And she launched herself through the door,leaving me doing an impersonation of a stranded goldfish. However, I knew I couldn’t justabandon her, so I followed her into the hall only to find her with the front door open, staringafter our visitor as she shuffled down the drive.

“But Annie! Where will you stay?” she called.

“Mum! Leave it!” I growled, dragging her back inside before Annie could change her mind.“Just be thankful for a lucky escape!”

“Yes. Yes, I suppose you’re right. But, you know, the camp bed … ”

At that point, luckily, we heard dad’s car.

“You’re right, of course,” she said, holding open the front door for dad.

“I’ve just passed a really sad case at the end of the road,” he said, getting out of the car.“An old dear with a stack of carrier bags. I wonder where she’s come from.”

“Mmm. I wonder. Poor thing!”

Text/Page 5 of pupil booklet


OHT 1/Page 2 of pupil bookletTask description and features checklist

Task:

Write about an event involving one of your friends, which clearly shows what sort ofperson he/she is and which creates a really vivid picture of him/her so that theproducers of the TV programme can appreciate his/her potential entertainment value.

Use of past tense for narrative

Use of present tense for introducing character

Well-chosen detail

Dialogue that reveals character

Extended noun phrases

Figurative language, including similes and metaphors

Features to include Tick if included


OHT 2/Page 3 of pupil bookletAdvice sheet

ADVICE SHEET

Are you and your friends the people we’re looking for?

Channel X is looking for a group of friends to spend a week at an outdoor pursuitscentre in Scotland. We need people with good personalities who viewers wouldenjoy watching as they have a go at a range of activities such as orienteering, rock-climbing, canoeing and pot-holing.

Interested?

All you have to do is write to us and tell us a story involving one or more of yourfriends, which clearly shows what sort of people they are and which creates a reallyvivid picture of them.

Some suggestions:

� Decide what aspects of your friends’ personalities and behaviour would maketelevision viewers want to watch them.

� You should try to think of an incident which really brings out this aspect of yourfriend’s character.

� Create as vivid a picture as you can of your friend by including some, or all, of thefollowing:

– a description of what they look like: physical features, style, physical mannerisms,gait, etc.;

– what they say and how they say it: tone, pace, vocal mannerisms;

– how they think of themselves: self-confidence;

– what other people think and say about them: those who know them well andthose who don’t.


OHT 3/not in pupil bookletText: My Mother

My Mother

My mother always reminds me of a young, inquisitive ostrich. It’s not justthat she’s tall, it’s the overall shape created by an elongated, slim upperbody and a pair of knotted-string legs separated by a large middleportion. A small head, framed by wispy strands of hair that refuse allattempts at control, and a pair of rather large feet, complete the picture.

Her head always seems to be pushed forward, as if trying to get a betterlook at something. This is because she usually is: her very clear, very blueeyes are short-sighted and she’s always losing her glasses; but it’s alsobecause she takes such an intense interest in just about anything andeverything. Some of my friends say that when they first met her they feltlike they were under interrogation, but then they came to realise that shewas just interested – in them, their families, in what they do, think,everything! “People are absolutely fascinating, Jane! They teach you somuch!”

She’s really embarrassing to be with, sometimes, because she talks toanyone – and this is why I arrived home last week and found a ‘bag-lady’drinking tea in our kitchen.

“This is Annie – she’s just having a cup of tea while we think about whereshe could spend the night!” announced my mother in response to thelook of horror on my face as I took in the mountain of overflowing carrierbags, and the twitching of my nose as it tried to identify the unfamiliarsmell. The over-bright tone, and the way even more strands of hair thanusual seemed to have escaped, giving her the look of a dandelion seed-head, made me think that my mother was not really on top of thesituation.

“I’m just going to help Jane get started on her homework, Annie – won’tbe a minute!” she trilled, sounding like one of those really phoneymothers they have in situation comedies on the television, whilepropelling me very firmly back through the kitchen door and into theliving room.


OHT 4/not in pupil bookletPlanning sheet for My Mother


Planning sheet/Page 6 of pupil booklet


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s d

em

arc

ate

d

accura

tely

thro

ughout th

e

text,

inclu

din

g q

ue

stio

n

mark

s

•sp

eech

mark

s to

denote

speech g

enera

lly

accura

te,

with s

om

e o

ther

speech p

unctu

ation,

wh

ere

ap

pro

priate

•com

mas u

sed in lis

ts

an

d o

cca

sio

na

lly t

o m

ark

cla

use

s,

alth

ou

gh n

ot

alw

ays a

ccura

tely

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

by

clu

ste

rin

g r

ela

ted

poin

ts o

r b

y t

ime

se

qu

en

ce

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

sim

ply

with

a fittin

g

op

en

ing

an

d c

losin

g,

som

etim

es lin

ked

•id

ea

s g

en

era

lly in

lo

gic

al se

qu

ence

but

overa

ll direction o

f w

riting

oft

en

not

cle

arly s

ign

alle

d

•p

ara

gra

phs/s

ectio

ns

he

lp t

o o

rga

nis

e c

on

tent,

e.g

.m

ain

id

ea u

su

ally

su

pp

ort

ed o

r e

lab

ora

ted

by follo

win

g s

ente

nces

•w

ithin

para

gra

phs/

se

ctio

ns,

limite

d r

an

ge

of

co

nn

ective

s b

etw

ee

n

se

nte

nce

s,

e.g

. over-

use

of

“als

o”

or

pro

no

uns

•so

me

atte

mp

ts t

o

esta

blis

h s

imp

le lin

ks

be

twe

en

pa

rag

rap

hs/

se

ctio

ns n

ot

alw

ays

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

. firs

tly,

ne

xt

•re

leva

nt

ide

as a

nd

co

nte

nt

ch

ose

n t

o a

pp

ly t

o

ap

pe

ar

on

te

levis

ion

•so

me

id

ea

s a

nd

mate

rial develo

ped in

de

tail,

e.g

. de

scri

ptio

ns

ela

bo

rate

dby a

dverb

ial

an

d e

xp

an

de

d n

oun

p

hra

ses

•str

aig

htf

orw

ard

vie

wp

oin

t g

en

era

lly

esta

blis

hed a

nd

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

.m

ain

tain

ing a

con

sis

tent

sta

nce a

bo

ut

the c

ha

racte

r ch

ose

n

•m

ain

pu

rpose o

f w

ritin

g

to e

nte

rta

in is c

lea

r b

ut

no

t a

lwa

ys c

onsis

tently

main

tain

ed

•m

ain

fea

ture

s o

f se

lecte

d fo

rm o

f a

n

ap

plic

atio

n a

re c

lear

an

d

ap

pro

priate

to p

urp

ose

•sty

le g

en

era

lly

ap

pro

priate

to t

ask,

thou

gh

a

wa

ren

ess o

f re

ade

r n

ot

alw

ays s

usta

ined

•so

me

evid

en

ce o

f delib

era

te v

ocabula

ry

ch

oic

es

•so

me

exp

an

sio

n o

f g

en

era

l voca

bu

lary

to

m

atc

h topic

of

rete

lling o

f e

ve

nts

co

rrect sp

elli

ng o

f:

•m

ost com

mon g

ram

matical

fun

ctio

n w

ord

s,

e.g

. yo

u,

beca

use,

although

•m

ost

ad

ve

rbs w

ith

-ly

form

ation

like

ly e

rro

rs:

•hom

ophones o

f com

mon

gra

mm

atica

l fu

nction

word

s, e

.g.

the

y’re

/th

eir/th

ere

, o

f/ha

ve/o

ff

•o

cca

sio

na

l ph

on

etica

lly p

lau

sib

le

sp

elli

ng in c

on

tent

word

s,

e.g

. board

, a

cse

pt,

hu

ng

rey,

tery

fin

g

•o

cca

sio

na

l in

flecte

d w

ord

s,

e.g

.-e

s,

-ed,

-ies,

-ie

d,

-er,

-e

st,

-ie

r, -

iest,

-in

g

IE

Ove

rall

asse

ssm

en

t (t

ick o

ne

bo

x o

nly

) S

ecu

re 5

L

ow

5

Se

cu

re 4

L

ow

4

Secondary

Nat

iona

l Str

ateg

yfo

r sc

hool

imp

rove

men

t


Mark

ing

gu

idelin

es –

Year

8 t

ask –

Reality

sh

ow

ap

plicati

on

Asse

ssin

g p

up

ils’ p

rog

ress in

En

glis

h a

t K

ey S

tag

e 3

Pupil

nam

e........................................................................................

Form

.................................

Date

...............................

A

F5 –

vary

sen

ten

ces f

or

cla

rity

, p

urp

ose a

nd

e

ffe

ct.

AF

6 –

wri

te w

ith

te

ch

nic

al accu

racy o

f s

yn

tax a

nd

p

un

ctu

ati

on

…

AF

3 –

org

an

ise a

nd

p

resen

t w

ho

le t

exts

e

ffe

cti

ve

ly…

AF

4 –

co

nstr

uct

para

gra

ph

s a

nd

use

co

hesio

n w

ith

in a

nd

b

etw

een

para

gra

ph

s.

AF

1 –

wri

te i

ma

gin

ati

ve

, in

tere

sti

ng

an

d

tho

ug

htf

ul

texts

.

AF

2 –

pro

du

ce t

exts

w

hic

h a

re a

pp

rop

riate

to

ta

sk, re

ad

er

an

d

pu

rpo

se.

AF

7 –

se

lec

t a

pp

rop

ria

te

an

d e

ffecti

ve v

oca

bu

lary

. A

F8 –

use c

orr

ect

sp

ellin

g.

L4

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to v

ary

le

ng

th,

str

uctu

re a

nd

su

bje

ct of se

nte

nces

•use o

f som

e

su

bo

rdin

ating

co

nne

ctive

s,

e.g

.if,

wh

en,

beca

use

•so

me

vari

atio

n,

genera

lly a

ccura

te, in

te

nse

and

verb

form

s

•se

nte

nce

s d

em

arc

ate

d

accura

tely

thro

ughout th

e

text,

inclu

din

g q

ue

stio

n

mark

s

•sp

eech

mark

s to

denote

speech g

enera

lly

accura

te,

with s

om

e o

ther

sp

eech

pu

nctu

atio

n,

wh

ere

appro

priate

•com

mas u

sed in lis

ts

an

d o

cca

sio

na

lly t

o m

ark

cla

use

s,

alth

ou

gh n

ot

alw

ays a

ccura

tely

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

by

clu

ste

rin

g r

ela

ted

poin

ts o

r b

y t

ime

se

qu

en

ce

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

sim

ply

with

a fittin

g

op

en

ing

an

d c

losin

g,

som

etim

es lin

ked

•id

ea

s g

en

era

lly in

lo

gic

al se

qu

ence

but

overa

ll direction o

f w

riting

oft

en

not

cle

arly s

ign

alle

d

•p

ara

gra

phs/s

ectio

ns

he

lp t

o o

rga

nis

e c

on

tent,

e.g

.m

ain

id

ea u

su

ally

su

pp

ort

ed o

r e

lab

ora

ted b

y

follo

win

g s

en

tences

•w

ithin

para

gra

phs/

se

ctio

ns,

limite

d r

an

ge

of

co

nn

ective

s b

etw

ee

n

se

nte

nce

s,

e.g

. over-

use

of

“als

o”

or

pro

no

uns

•so

me

atte

mp

ts t

o

esta

blis

h s

imp

le lin

ks

be

twe

en

pa

rag

rap

hs/

se

ctio

ns n

ot

alw

ays

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

. firs

tly,

ne

xt

•re

leva

nt

ide

as a

nd

co

nte

nt

ch

ose

n t

o a

pp

ly t

o

ap

pe

ar

on

te

levis

ion

•so

me

id

ea

s a

nd

mate

rial develo

ped in

de

tail,

e.g

. de

scri

ptio

ns

ela

bo

rate

dby a

dverb

ial

an

d e

xp

an

de

d n

oun

p

hra

ses

•str

aig

htf

orw

ard

vie

wp

oin

t g

en

era

lly

esta

blis

hed a

nd

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

.m

ain

tain

ing a

con

sis

tent

sta

nce a

bo

ut

the c

ha

racte

r ch

ose

n

•m

ain

pu

rpose o

f w

ritin

g

to e

nte

rta

in is c

lea

r b

ut

no

t a

lwa

ys c

onsis

tently

main

tain

ed

•m

ain

fea

ture

s o

f se

lecte

d fo

rm o

f a

n

ap

plic

atio

n a

re c

lear

an

d

ap

pro

priate

to p

urp

ose

•sty

le g

en

era

lly

ap

pro

priate

to t

ask,

thou

gh

a

wa

ren

ess o

f re

ade

r n

ot

alw

ays s

usta

ined

•so

me

evid

en

ce o

f delib

era

te v

ocabula

ry

ch

oic

es

•so

me

exp

an

sio

n o

f g

en

era

l voca

bu

lary

to

m

atc

h topic

of

rete

lling o

f e

ve

nts

co

rrect sp

elli

ng o

f:

•m

ost

com

mon g

ram

matical

fun

ctio

n w

ord

s,

e.g

. yo

u,

beca

use,

although

•m

ost

ad

ve

rbs w

ith

-ly

form

ation

like

ly e

rro

rs:

•hom

ophones o

f com

mon

gra

mm

atica

l fu

nction

word

s, e

.g.

the

y’re

/th

eir/th

ere

, o

f/ha

ve/o

ff

•o

cca

sio

na

l ph

on

etica

lly p

lau

sib

le

sp

elli

ng in c

on

tent

word

s,

e.g

. b

oa

rd,

acse

pt, h

ungre

y, te

ryfin

g

•o

cca

sio

na

l in

flecte

d w

ord

s,

e.g

.-e

s,

-ed,

-ies,

-ie

d,

-er,

-e

st,

-ie

r, -

iest,

-in

g

L3

•re

lian

ce m

ain

ly o

n

sim

ple

se

nte

nces

•a

nd

, b

ut,

so a

re th

e

most com

mon c

onnectives

•so

me

lim

ite

d v

ari

atio

n

in u

se

of te

nse a

nd v

erb

fo

rms, n

ot

alw

ays s

ecu

re

•str

aig

htf

orw

ard

sente

nces u

sually

d

em

arc

ate

d a

ccu

rate

ly

with

fu

ll sto

ps, ca

pita

l le

tters

, q

uestio

n a

nd

excla

mation m

ark

s

•co

mm

a s

plic

ing

evid

en

t, p

art

icu

larl

y in

n

arr

ative

•so

me

, lim

ite

d, use

of

sp

eech

pu

nctu

atio

n,

wh

ere

appro

priate

•so

me

lim

ite

d a

tte

mp

t to

o

rga

nis

e id

ea

s w

ith

so

me

rela

ted p

oin

ts p

laced

ne

xt

to e

ach o

the

r

•o

pe

nin

gs a

nd c

losin

gs

usu

ally

sig

na

lled

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to

se

qu

ence id

eas o

r m

ate

ria

l lo

gic

ally

, no

t alw

ays s

uccessfu

l

•som

e p

ara

gra

phs/

se

ctio

ns o

fte

n lackin

g

inte

rna

l str

uctu

re,

e.g

. one-

se

nte

nce

pa

rag

raph

s o

r id

eas r

andom

ly o

rganis

ed

•w

ithin

para

gra

phs/

sections, som

e lim

ited

att

em

pt to

lin

k s

ente

nces,

e.g

.use

of

pro

nou

ns,

oft

en

inconsis

tent, o

r of

ad

ve

rbia

ls

•m

ove

me

nt

be

twe

en

p

ara

gra

phs/s

ectio

ns

ab

rup

t o

r d

isjo

inte

d

•so

me

ap

pro

pri

ate

id

ea

s

and c

onte

nt in

clu

ded in a

n

att

em

pt

to a

pp

ly t

o b

e o

n

tele

vis

ion

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to

ela

bo

rate

on b

asic

in

form

ation o

r events

, e.g

.n

ou

ns e

xp

an

de

d b

y s

imp

le

adje

ctives

•a

tte

mpt

to a

do

pt

vie

wp

oin

t a

bo

ut

the

ch

ara

cte

r, t

ho

ug

h o

fte

n n

ot

ma

inta

ine

d o

r in

co

nsis

tent,

e.g

.att

itu

de e

xp

resse

d,

bu

t w

ith little e

lab

ora

tio

n

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to

esta

blis

h p

urp

ose to

en

tert

ain

, th

ou

gh o

fte

n

su

pe

rfic

ial

•so

me fe

atu

res o

f se

lecte

d fo

rm o

f a

n

ap

plic

atio

n a

re s

igna

lled

to

th

e r

eader

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to

esta

blis

h a

pp

rop

riate

sty

le

of

an e

nte

rta

inin

g

ap

plic

atio

n,

bu

t n

ot

alw

ays

co

nsis

tent

or

susta

ine

d

•sim

ple

, genera

lly

ap

pro

priate

, vo

ca

bu

lary

u

se

d, th

ou

gh o

fte

n lim

ite

d

in r

an

ge

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to u

se

word

s f

or

eff

ect, t

o

en

tert

ain

th

e r

ead

er

co

rrect sp

elli

ng o

f:

•som

etim

es,

com

mon

gra

mm

atica

l fu

nction

word

s, e

.g.

with,

could

like

ly e

rro

rs:

•fr

equent phonetically

pla

usib

le

sp

elli

ng in c

on

tent

word

s,

e.g

. veiw

, re

cie

ve,

co

rse

, th

ort

•fr

eq

ue

ntly in

inflecte

d e

nd

ings,

e.g

.-e

s,

-ed, -i

es,

-ie

d,

-er,

-est,

-ier,

-ie

st, -

ing

B3

IE

Ove

rall

asse

ssm

en

t (t

ick o

ne

bo

x o

nly

) S

ecu

re 4

L

ow

4

Se

cu

re 3

L

ow

3

Be

low

3

Secondary

Nat

iona

l Str

ateg

yfo

r sc

hool

imp

rove

men

t

Annotated exemplar responses


Level 3: Response and commentary

Commas used ina list (AF6 L4 b3)

This is a response that makes only the most limited attempt to organise material intosections (AF4), relying on sequencing related points to provide some coherence (AF3).Initially there is some awareness shown of the need to write entertainingly (AF2) andvocabulary choices are made for effect (AF7), but content is not entirely well chosen forpurpose even if there is some elaboration of the basic information given (AF1). Sentencestructures are not always securely controlled, but there is some attempt to usesubordination and some accurate use of different tense and verb forms (AF5).Demarcation of straightforward sentences is accurate and there is some use of the commain a list (AF6). There are few occasional phonetically plausible spellings (AF8).

For most of the assessment focuses, there is little evidence of the pupil addressing morethan the level 3 criteria and not always fulfilling these securely. Hence the overalljudgement is secure level 3.

Reliance onmainly simplesentencestructures (AF5 L3 b1)

Only superficialrecognition ofpurpose toentertain(AF2 L3 b1)

Some attempt to use words for effect(AF7 L3 b2)

Straightforwardsentencesdemarcated (AF6 L3 b1)

Some attempt todivide materialinto sections(AF4 L3 b1)

Related pointsplaced next toeach other(AF3 L3 b1)

Most commongrammaticalfunction wordsspelt correctly(AF8 L4 b1), with occasionalphoneticallyplausiblespellings(AF8 L4 b4)

Some attempt toelaborate onbasic information(AF1 L3 b1)

Some variationin verb andtense forms(AF5 L4 b3)

Use of adverbialconnective tolink sentences(AF4 L3 b2)

Use ofsubordinatingconnectives tovary sentencelength (AF5 L4 b2)


Mark

ing

gu

idelin

es –

Year

8 t

ask –

Reality

sh

ow

ap

plicati

on

Level 3 e

xam

ple

Asse

ssin

g p

up

ils’ p

rog

ress in

En

glis

h a

t K

ey S

tag

e 3

Pupil

nam

e........................................................................................

Form

.................................

Date

...............................

A

F5 –

vary

sen

ten

ces f

or

cla

rity

, p

urp

ose a

nd

e

ffe

ct.

AF

6 –

wri

te w

ith

te

ch

nic

al accu

racy o

f s

yn

tax a

nd

p

un

ctu

ati

on

…

AF

3 –

org

an

ise a

nd

p

resen

t w

ho

le t

exts

e

ffe

cti

ve

ly…

AF

4 –

co

nstr

uct

para

gra

ph

s a

nd

use

co

hesio

n w

ith

in a

nd

b

etw

een

para

gra

ph

s.

AF

1 –

wri

te i

ma

gin

ati

ve

, in

tere

sti

ng

an

d

tho

ug

htf

ul

texts

.

AF

2 –

pro

du

ce t

exts

w

hic

h a

re a

pp

rop

riate

to

ta

sk, re

ad

er

an

d

pu

rpo

se.

AF

7 –

se

lec

t a

pp

rop

ria

te

an

d e

ffecti

ve v

oca

bu

lary

. A

F8 –

use c

orr

ect

sp

ellin

g.

L4

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to v

ary

le

ng

th,

str

uctu

re a

nd

su

bje

ct of se

nte

nces

•use o

f som

e

su

bo

rdin

ating

co

nne

ctive

s,

e.g

.if,

wh

en,

beca

use

•so

me

vari

atio

n,

genera

lly a

ccura

te, in

te

nse

and

verb

form

s

•se

nte

nce

s d

em

arc

ate

d

accura

tely

thro

ughout th

e

text,

inclu

din

g q

ue

stio

n

mark

s

•sp

eech

mark

s to

denote

speech g

enera

lly

accura

te,

with s

om

e o

ther

sp

eech

pu

nctu

atio

n,

wh

ere

appro

priate

•com

mas u

sed in lis

ts

an

d o

cca

sio

na

lly t

o m

ark

cla

use

s,

alth

ou

gh n

ot

alw

ays a

ccura

tely

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

by

clu

ste

rin

g r

ela

ted

poin

ts o

r b

y t

ime

se

qu

en

ce

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

sim

ply

with

a fittin

g

op

en

ing

an

d c

losin

g,

som

etim

es lin

ked

•id

ea

s g

en

era

lly in

lo

gic

al se

qu

ence

but

overa

ll direction o

f w

riting

oft

en

not

cle

arly s

ign

alle

d

•p

ara

gra

phs/s

ectio

ns

he

lp t

o o

rga

nis

e c

on

tent,

e.g

.m

ain

id

ea u

su

ally

su

pp

ort

ed o

r e

lab

ora

ted b

y

follo

win

g s

en

tences

•w

ithin

para

gra

phs/

se

ctio

ns,

limite

d r

an

ge

of

co

nn

ective

s b

etw

ee

n

se

nte

nce

s,

e.g

. over-

use

of

“als

o”

or

pro

no

uns

•so

me

atte

mp

ts t

o

esta

blis

h s

imp

le lin

ks

be

twe

en

pa

rag

rap

hs/

se

ctio

ns n

ot

alw

ays

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

. firs

tly,

ne

xt

•re

leva

nt

ide

as a

nd

co

nte

nt

ch

ose

n t

o a

pp

ly t

o

ap

pe

ar

on

te

levis

ion

•so

me

id

ea

s a

nd

mate

rial develo

ped in

de

tail,

e.g

. de

scri

ptio

ns

ela

bo

rate

dby a

dverb

ial

an

d e

xp

an

de

d n

oun

p

hra

ses

•str

aig

htf

orw

ard

vie

wp

oin

t g

en

era

lly

esta

blis

hed a

nd

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

.m

ain

tain

ing a

con

sis

tent

sta

nce a

bo

ut

the c

ha

racte

r ch

ose

n

•m

ain

pu

rpose o

f w

ritin

g

to e

nte

rta

in is c

lea

r b

ut

no

t a

lwa

ys c

onsis

tently

main

tain

ed

•m

ain

fea

ture

s o

f se

lecte

d fo

rm o

f a

n

ap

plic

atio

n a

re c

lear

an

d

ap

pro

priate

to p

urp

ose

•sty

le g

en

era

lly

ap

pro

priate

to t

ask,

thou

gh

a

wa

ren

ess o

f re

ade

r n

ot

alw

ays s

usta

ined

•so

me

evid

en

ce o

f delib

era

te v

ocabula

ry

ch

oic

es

•so

me

exp

an

sio

n o

f g

en

era

l voca

bu

lary

to

m

atc

h topic

of

rete

lling o

f e

ve

nts

co

rrect sp

elli

ng o

f:

•m

ost

com

mon g

ram

matical

fun

ctio

n w

ord

s,

e.g

. yo

u,

beca

use,

although

•m

ost

ad

ve

rbs w

ith

-ly

form

ation

like

ly e

rro

rs:

•hom

ophones o

f com

mon

gra

mm

atica

l fu

nction

word

s, e

.g.

the

y’re

/th

eir/th

ere

, o

f/ha

ve/o

ff

•o

cca

sio

na

l ph

on

etica

lly p

lau

sib

le

sp

elli

ng in c

on

tent

word

s,

e.g

. b

oa

rd,

acse

pt, h

ungre

y, te

ryfin

g

•o

cca

sio

na

l in

flecte

d w

ord

s,

e.g

.-e

s,

-ed,

-ies,

-ie

d,

-er,

-e

st,

-ie

r, -

iest,

-in

g

L3

•re

lian

ce m

ain

ly o

n

sim

ple

se

nte

nces

•a

nd

, b

ut,

so a

re th

e

most com

mon c

onnectives

•so

me

lim

ite

d v

ari

atio

n

in u

se

of te

nse a

nd v

erb

fo

rms, n

ot

alw

ays s

ecu

re

•str

aig

htf

orw

ard

sente

nces u

sually

d

em

arc

ate

d a

ccu

rate

ly

with

fu

ll sto

ps, ca

pita

l le

tters

, q

uestio

n a

nd

excla

mation m

ark

s

•co

mm

a s

plic

ing

evid

en

t, p

art

icu

larl

y in

n

arr

ative

•so

me

, lim

ite

d, use

of

sp

eech

pu

nctu

atio

n,

wh

ere

appro

priate

•so

me

lim

ite

d a

tte

mp

t to

o

rga

nis

e id

ea

s w

ith

so

me

rela

ted p

oin

ts p

laced

ne

xt

to e

ach o

the

r

•o

pe

nin

gs a

nd c

losin

gs

usu

ally

sig

na

lled

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to

se

qu

ence id

eas o

r m

ate

ria

l lo

gic

ally

, no

t alw

ays s

uccessfu

l

•som

e p

ara

gra

phs/

se

ctio

ns o

fte

n lackin

g

inte

rna

l str

uctu

re,

e.g

. one-

se

nte

nce

pa

rag

raph

s o

r id

eas r

andom

ly o

rganis

ed

•w

ithin

para

gra

phs/

sections, som

e lim

ited

att

em

pt to

lin

k s

ente

nces,

e.g

.use

of

pro

nou

ns,

oft

en

inconsis

tent, o

r of

ad

ve

rbia

ls

•m

ove

me

nt

be

twe

en

p

ara

gra

phs/s

ectio

ns

ab

rup

t o

r d

isjo

inte

d

•so

me

ap

pro

pri

ate

id

ea

s

and c

onte

nt in

clu

ded in a

n

att

em

pt

to a

pp

ly t

o b

e o

n

tele

vis

ion

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to

ela

bo

rate

on b

asic

in

form

ation o

r events

, e.g

.n

ou

ns e

xp

an

de

d b

y s

imp

le

adje

ctives

•a

tte

mpt

to a

do

pt

vie

wp

oin

t a

bo

ut

the

ch

ara

cte

r, t

ho

ug

h o

fte

n n

ot

ma

inta

ine

d o

r in

co

nsis

tent,

e.g

.att

itu

de e

xp

resse

d,

bu

t w

ith little e

lab

ora

tio

n

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to

esta

blis

h p

urp

ose to

en

tert

ain

, th

ou

gh o

fte

n

su

pe

rfic

ial

•so

me fe

atu

res o

f se

lecte

d fo

rm o

f a

n

ap

plic

atio

n a

re s

igna

lled

to

th

e r

eader

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to

esta

blis

h a

pp

rop

riate

sty

le

of

an e

nte

rta

inin

g

ap

plic

atio

n,

bu

t n

ot

alw

ays

co

nsis

tent

or

susta

ine

d

•sim

ple

, genera

lly

ap

pro

priate

, vo

ca

bu

lary

u

se

d, th

ou

gh o

fte

n lim

ite

d

in r

an

ge

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to u

se

word

s f

or

eff

ect, t

o

en

tert

ain

th

e r

ead

er

co

rrect sp

elli

ng o

f:

•som

etim

es,

com

mon

gra

mm

atica

l fu

nction

word

s, e

.g.

with,

could

like

ly e

rro

rs:

•fr

equent phonetically

pla

usib

le

sp

elli

ng in c

on

tent

word

s,

e.g

. veiw

, re

cie

ve,

co

rse

, th

ort

•fr

eq

ue

ntly in

inflecte

d e

nd

ings,

e.g

.-e

s,

-ed, -i

es,

-ie

d,

-er,

-est,

-ier,

-ie

st, -

ing

B3

IE

Ove

rall

asse

ssm

en

t (t

ick o

ne

bo

x o

nly

) S

ecu

re 4

L

ow

4

Se

cu

re 3

L

ow

3

Be

low

3

Secondary

Nat

iona

l Str

ateg

yfo

r sc

hool

imp

rove

men

t



Appropriateopening(AF3 L4 b2)

Some evidenceof deliberatevocabularychoices (AF7 L4 b1)

Almost allsentencesaccuratelydemarcated (AF6 L4 b1) andsome use ofcommas to markclauses (AF6 L4 b3)

Paragraphs helpto organisecontent(AF4 L4 b1)

Relevantinformationchosen (AF1 L4 b1), with some ideasdeveloped indetail (AF1 L4 b2)

Most commongrammaticalfunction wordsand adverbsspelt correctly(AF8 L4 b1/2)

Main purpose ofwriting is clear,although needto entertain notconsistentlymaintained (AF2 L4 b1)

Occasional errorsin inflectedwords/endings(AF8 L4 b5)

Some attempt to vary sentencelength andstructure (AF5 L4 b1)

Withinparagraphs,limited range ofconnectivesbetweensentences(AF4 L4 b2)

Ideas generallyin logicalsequence, butoverall directionnot clearlysignalled(AF3 L4 b3)

Ending signalledand refers backto opening(AF3 L5 b2)


This is a competently organised response that uses paragraphing to order material (AF4),sequencing points logically with an appropriate opening and ending (AF3) even if theoverall direction of the writing is not always clearly signalled. Relevant information isprovided, with some appropriate use of detail (AF1), and there is an awareness of purposealthough the writing is not consistently entertaining (AF2).

Some attempt is made to vary the length and structure of sentences (AF5), which aremainly accurately demarcated with some use of the comma to mark clauses (AF6). Somedeliberate choices of vocabulary are made (AF7) to lend weight to the recommendationand there are few spelling errors in most grammatical function words and adverbs (AF8).

For all the assessment focuses, there is little evidence of the pupil beginning to addressthe level 5 criteria, but the level 4 requirements are consistently satisfied. Hence theoverall judgement is secure level 4.


Mark

ing

gu

idelin

es –

Year

8 t

ask –

Reality

sh

ow

ap

plicati

on

Level 4 e

xam

ple

Asse

ssin

g p

up

ils’ p

rog

ress in

En

glis

h a

t K

ey S

tag

e 3

Pupil

nam

e........................................................................................

Form

.................................

Date

...............................

A

F5 –

vary

sen

ten

ces f

or

cla

rity

, p

urp

ose a

nd

e

ffe

ct.

AF

6 –

wri

te w

ith

te

ch

nic

al accu

racy o

f s

yn

tax a

nd

p

un

ctu

ati

on

…

AF

3 –

org

an

ise a

nd

p

resen

t w

ho

le t

exts

e

ffe

cti

ve

ly…

AF

4 –

co

nstr

uct

para

gra

ph

s a

nd

use

co

hesio

n w

ith

in a

nd

b

etw

een

para

gra

ph

s.

AF

1 –

wri

te i

ma

gin

ati

ve

, in

tere

sti

ng

an

d

tho

ug

htf

ul

texts

.

AF

2 –

pro

du

ce t

exts

w

hic

h a

re a

pp

rop

riate

to

ta

sk, re

ad

er

an

d

pu

rpo

se.

AF

7 –

se

lec

t a

pp

rop

ria

te

an

d e

ffecti

ve

vo

cab

ula

ry.

AF

8 –

use c

orr

ect

sp

ellin

g.

L5

•a v

ariety

of sente

nce

length

s, str

uctu

res a

nd

su

bje

cts

pro

vid

es c

larity

a

nd

em

ph

asis

•w

ide

r ra

ng

e o

f co

nn

ective

s u

sed

to

cla

rify

re

latio

nsh

ip b

etw

ee

n

ide

as,

e.g

. a

lth

oug

h,

on

the o

ther

hand, m

eanw

hile

•so

me fe

atu

res o

f sente

nce s

tructu

re u

sed t

o

bu

ild u

p d

eta

il o

r con

ve

y

shades o

f m

eanin

g, e.g

. va

riatio

n in

wo

rd o

rde

r,

modals

in v

erb

phra

ses

•fu

ll ra

nge o

f punctu

ation u

sed

accu

rate

ly t

o d

em

arc

ate

se

nte

nce

s,

inclu

din

g

sp

eech

pu

nctu

atio

n w

he

re

appro

priate

•syn

tax a

nd

pu

nctu

atio

n

with

in t

he s

en

tence

ge

ne

rally

accu

rate

, in

clu

din

g c

om

mas to m

ark

cla

uses, th

ough s

om

e

err

ors

occu

r w

he

re

am

bitio

us s

tru

ctu

res a

re

att

em

pte

d

•m

ate

rial is

str

uctu

red

cle

arl

y,

with

se

nte

nce

s

org

an

ised

into

ap

pro

pri

ate

p

ara

gra

phs

•develo

pm

ent of

mate

ria

l is

eff

ective

ly

ma

na

ge

d a

cro

ss t

ext,

e.g

. clo

se

re

fers

back t

o

openin

g

•o

ve

rall

dire

ctio

n o

f th

e

text

su

pp

ort

ed

by c

lea

r lin

ks b

etw

ee

n p

ara

gra

ph

s

•p

ara

gra

phs c

learly

str

uctu

re m

ain

id

eas

acro

ss te

xt

to s

up

po

rt

pu

rpo

se o

f re

co

un

tin

g a

n

eve

nt,

e.g

. cle

ar

ch

ron

olo

gic

al o

r lo

gic

al

links b

etw

ee

n p

ara

gra

ph

s

•w

ithin

para

gra

phs/

sections,

a r

ange o

f d

evic

es s

up

po

rt c

oh

esio

n,

e.g

.se

cure

use o

f p

ron

ou

ns,

con

nective

s,

refe

rences b

ack t

o t

ext

•lin

ks b

etw

ee

n

pa

rag

rap

hs/s

ectio

ns

ge

ne

rally

ma

inta

ined

a

cro

ss w

ho

le t

ext

•re

leva

nt

ide

as a

nd

m

ate

rial develo

ped w

ith

so

me

im

agin

ative

deta

il

•d

eve

lop

me

nt

of

idea

s

an

d m

ate

ria

l a

pp

rop

ria

tely

sh

ap

ed f

or

an

ente

rta

inin

g

ap

plic

atio

n t

o b

e o

n

tele

vis

ion

•cle

ar

vie

wp

oin

t e

sta

blis

he

d,

ge

nera

lly

consis

tent, w

ith s

om

e

ela

bo

ratio

n,

e.g

. som

e,

un

eve

n, d

evelo

pm

en

t of

indiv

idual voic

e o

r ch

ara

cte

risa

tio

n in r

ole

•m

ain

pu

rpose o

f w

ritin

g

to e

nte

rta

in is c

lea

r a

nd

co

nsis

tently m

ain

tain

ed

•fe

atu

res o

f sele

cte

d

form

of a

n a

pp

lica

tio

n

cle

arl

y e

sta

blis

he

d,

with

so

me

ad

ap

tatio

n to

ente

rtain

ing

•appro

priate

sty

le c

learly

esta

blis

he

d t

o m

ain

tain

re

ad

er’s inte

rest

thro

ug

hou

t

•voca

bu

lary

ch

ose

n f

or

eff

ect,

to

ente

rta

in t

he

re

ader

•re

aso

nab

ly w

ide

voca

bu

lary

use

d,

tho

ug

h

no

t a

lwa

ys a

pp

rop

ria

tely

co

rrect sp

elli

ng o

f:

•com

mon g

ram

matical fu

nction

word

s c

onsis

ten

tly

•a

lmo

st a

ll in

flecte

d w

ord

s

•m

ost

de

riva

tio

na

l su

ffix

es,

e.g

. -io

n,

-ise

, -a

l/ia

l, -

ab

le/ible

•m

ost

pre

fixe

s, e

.g. dis

appear,

u

nce

rta

in,

excla

im

like

ly e

rro

rs:

•o

cca

sio

na

l ph

on

etica

lly p

lau

sib

le

sp

elli

ng in c

on

tent

word

s,

e.g

. b

oa

rd,

acse

pt,

hu

ng

rey,

tery

fin

g

•d

ou

ble

co

nso

na

nts

in

pre

fixe

s,

e.g

.irre

gu

lar,

unn

ece

ssa

ry

L4

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to v

ary

le

ng

th,

str

uctu

re a

nd

su

bje

ct of se

nte

nces

•use o

f som

e

su

bo

rdin

ating

co

nne

ctive

s,

e.g

.if,

wh

en,

beca

use

•so

me

vari

atio

n,

genera

lly a

ccura

te, in

te

nse

and

verb

form

s

•se

nte

nce

s d

em

arc

ate

d

accura

tely

thro

ughout th

e

text,

inclu

din

g q

ue

stio

n

mark

s

•sp

eech

mark

s to

denote

speech g

enera

lly

accura

te,

with s

om

e o

ther

speech p

unctu

ation,

wh

ere

ap

pro

priate

•com

mas u

sed in lis

ts

an

d o

cca

sio

na

lly t

o m

ark

cla

use

s,

alth

ou

gh n

ot

alw

ays a

ccura

tely

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

by

clu

ste

rin

g r

ela

ted

poin

ts o

r b

y t

ime

se

qu

en

ce

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

sim

ply

with

a fittin

g

op

en

ing

an

d c

losin

g,

som

etim

es lin

ked

•id

ea

s g

en

era

lly in

lo

gic

al se

qu

ence

but

overa

ll direction o

f w

riting

oft

en

not

cle

arly s

ign

alle

d

•p

ara

gra

phs/s

ectio

ns

he

lp t

o o

rga

nis

e c

on

tent,

e.g

.m

ain

id

ea u

su

ally

su

pp

ort

ed o

r e

lab

ora

ted

by follo

win

g s

ente

nces

•w

ithin

para

gra

phs/

se

ctio

ns,

limite

d r

an

ge

of

co

nn

ective

s b

etw

ee

n

se

nte

nce

s,

e.g

. over-

use

of

“als

o”

or

pro

no

uns

•so

me

atte

mp

ts t

o

esta

blis

h s

imp

le lin

ks

be

twe

en

pa

rag

rap

hs/

se

ctio

ns n

ot

alw

ays

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

. firs

tly,

ne

xt

•re

leva

nt

ide

as a

nd

co

nte

nt

ch

ose

n t

o a

pp

ly t

o

ap

pe

ar

on

te

levis

ion

•so

me

id

ea

s a

nd

mate

rial develo

ped in

de

tail,

e.g

. de

scri

ptio

ns

ela

bo

rate

dby a

dverb

ial

an

d e

xp

an

de

d n

oun

p

hra

ses

•str

aig

htf

orw

ard

vie

wp

oin

t g

en

era

lly

esta

blis

hed a

nd

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

.m

ain

tain

ing a

con

sis

tent

sta

nce a

bo

ut

the c

ha

racte

r ch

ose

n

•m

ain

pu

rpose o

f w

ritin

g

to e

nte

rta

in is c

lea

r b

ut

no

t a

lwa

ys c

onsis

tently

main

tain

ed

•m

ain

fea

ture

s o

f se

lecte

d fo

rm o

f a

n

ap

plic

atio

n a

re c

lear

an

d

ap

pro

priate

to p

urp

ose

•sty

le g

en

era

lly

ap

pro

priate

to t

ask,

thou

gh

a

wa

ren

ess o

f re

ade

r n

ot

alw

ays s

usta

ined

•so

me

evid

en

ce o

f delib

era

te v

ocabula

ry

ch

oic

es

•so

me

exp

an

sio

n o

f g

en

era

l voca

bu

lary

to

m

atc

h topic

of

rete

lling o

f e

ve

nts

co

rrect sp

elli

ng o

f:

•m

ost com

mon g

ram

matical

fun

ctio

n w

ord

s,

e.g

. yo

u,

beca

use,

although

•m

ost

ad

ve

rbs w

ith

-ly

form

ation

like

ly e

rro

rs:

•hom

ophones o

f com

mon

gra

mm

atica

l fu

nction

word

s, e

.g.

the

y’re

/th

eir/th

ere

, o

f/ha

ve/o

ff

•o

cca

sio

na

l ph

on

etica

lly p

lau

sib

le

sp

elli

ng in c

on

tent

word

s,

e.g

. board

, a

cse

pt,

hu

ng

rey,

tery

fin

g

•o

cca

sio

na

l in

flecte

d w

ord

s,

e.g

.-e

s,

-ed,

-ies,

-ie

d,

-er,

-e

st,

-ie

r, -

iest,

-in

g

IE

Ove

rall

asse

ssm

en

t (t

ick o

ne

bo

x o

nly

) S

ecu

re 5

L

ow

5

Se

cu

re 4

L

ow

4

Secondary

Nat

iona

l Str

ateg

yfo

r sc

hool

imp

rove

men

t



Main purposeestablished andmaintained (AF2 L5 b1)

Sections help toorganise content(AF4 L4 b1)Points structured

clearly withsentencesorganised intoparagraphs(AF3 L5 b1)

Relevant ideaschosen anddevelopedappropriately(AF1 L5 b1)

Variety ofsentence lengthsand structureprovides clarityand emphasis(AF5 L5 b1)

Correct spellingof inflectedwords (AF8 L5 b2)

Sentencesdemarcatedaccurately (AF6 L4 b1) andsome use ofcommas to markclauses (AF6 L4 b3)

Fitting ending(AF3 L4 b2)

Vocabularychosen for effectto supportpurpose toentertain (AF7 L5 b1)


This fluent response confidently elaborates appropriate subject matter (AF1), adapting awell-chosen anecdote to the demands of the task and consistently focusing on the needto entertain (AF2). Content is clearly structured and managed across the text (AF3), usingparagraphs to support the organisation of material (AF4). There is some variety ofsentence structures to provide emphasis, although these are not always entirely securelymanaged (AF5). Sentence demarcation is consistently accurate, with some use of thecomma to mark clauses (AF6). Vocabulary is appropriately deployed for the purpose ofwriting to entertain (AF7) and there are few spelling errors in inflected words (AF8).

For all the assessment focuses, there is evidence of the pupil addressing the level 5 criteriaand, in most cases, fulfilling them with some confidence. Hence the overall judgement issecure level 5.


Mark

ing

gu

idelin

es –

Year

8 t

ask –

Reality

sh

ow

ap

plicati

on

Level 5 e

xam

ple

Asse

ssin

g p

up

ils’ p

rog

ress in

En

glis

h a

t K

ey S

tag

e 3

Pupil

nam

e........................................................................................

Form

.................................

Date

...............................

A

F5 –

vary

sen

ten

ces f

or

cla

rity

, p

urp

ose a

nd

e

ffe

ct.

AF

6 –

wri

te w

ith

te

ch

nic

al accu

racy o

f s

yn

tax a

nd

p

un

ctu

ati

on

…

AF

3 –

org

an

ise a

nd

p

resen

t w

ho

le t

exts

e

ffe

cti

ve

ly…

AF

4 –

co

nstr

uct

para

gra

ph

s a

nd

use

co

hesio

n w

ith

in a

nd

b

etw

een

para

gra

ph

s.

AF

1 –

wri

te i

ma

gin

ati

ve

, in

tere

sti

ng

an

d

tho

ug

htf

ul

texts

.

AF

2 –

pro

du

ce t

exts

w

hic

h a

re a

pp

rop

riate

to

ta

sk, re

ad

er

an

d

pu

rpo

se.

AF

7 –

se

lec

t a

pp

rop

ria

te

an

d e

ffecti

ve

vo

cab

ula

ry.

AF

8 –

use c

orr

ect

sp

ellin

g.

L5

•a v

ariety

of sente

nce

length

s, str

uctu

res a

nd

su

bje

cts

pro

vid

es c

larity

a

nd

em

ph

asis

•w

ide

r ra

ng

e o

f co

nn

ective

s u

sed

to

cla

rify

re

latio

nsh

ip b

etw

ee

n

ide

as,

e.g

. a

lth

oug

h,

on

the o

ther

hand, m

eanw

hile

•so

me fe

atu

res o

f sente

nce s

tructu

re u

sed t

o

bu

ild u

p d

eta

il o

r con

ve

y

shades o

f m

eanin

g, e.g

. va

riatio

n in

wo

rd o

rde

r,

modals

in v

erb

phra

ses

•fu

ll ra

nge o

f punctu

ation u

sed

accu

rate

ly t

o d

em

arc

ate

se

nte

nce

s,

inclu

din

g

sp

eech

pu

nctu

atio

n w

he

re

appro

priate

•syn

tax a

nd

pu

nctu

atio

n

with

in t

he s

en

tence

ge

ne

rally

accu

rate

, in

clu

din

g c

om

mas to m

ark

cla

uses, th

ough s

om

e

err

ors

occu

r w

he

re

am

bitio

us s

tru

ctu

res a

re

att

em

pte

d

•m

ate

rial is

str

uctu

red

cle

arl

y,

with

se

nte

nce

s

org

an

ised

into

ap

pro

pri

ate

p

ara

gra

phs

•develo

pm

ent of

mate

ria

l is

eff

ective

ly

ma

na

ge

d a

cro

ss t

ext,

e.g

. clo

se

re

fers

back t

o

openin

g

•o

ve

rall

dire

ctio

n o

f th

e

text

su

pp

ort

ed

by c

lea

r lin

ks b

etw

ee

n p

ara

gra

ph

s

•p

ara

gra

phs c

learly

str

uctu

re m

ain

id

eas

acro

ss te

xt

to s

up

po

rt

pu

rpo

se o

f re

co

un

tin

g a

n

eve

nt,

e.g

. cle

ar

ch

ron

olo

gic

al o

r lo

gic

al

links b

etw

ee

n p

ara

gra

ph

s

•w

ithin

para

gra

phs/

sections,

a r

ange o

f d

evic

es s

up

po

rt c

oh

esio

n,

e.g

.se

cure

use o

f p

ron

ou

ns,

con

nective

s,

refe

rences b

ack t

o t

ext

•lin

ks b

etw

ee

n

pa

rag

rap

hs/s

ectio

ns

ge

ne

rally

ma

inta

ined

a

cro

ss w

ho

le t

ext

•re

leva

nt

ide

as a

nd

m

ate

rial develo

ped w

ith

so

me

im

agin

ative

deta

il

•d

eve

lop

me

nt

of

idea

s

an

d m

ate

ria

l a

pp

rop

ria

tely

sh

ap

ed f

or

an

ente

rta

inin

g

ap

plic

atio

n t

o b

e o

n

tele

vis

ion

•cle

ar

vie

wp

oin

t e

sta

blis

he

d,

ge

nera

lly

consis

tent, w

ith s

om

e

ela

bo

ratio

n,

e.g

. som

e,

un

eve

n, d

evelo

pm

en

t of

indiv

idual voic

e o

r ch

ara

cte

risa

tio

n in r

ole

•m

ain

pu

rpose o

f w

ritin

g

to e

nte

rta

in is c

lea

r a

nd

co

nsis

tently m

ain

tain

ed

•fe

atu

res o

f sele

cte

d

form

of a

n a

pp

lica

tio

n

cle

arl

y e

sta

blis

he

d,

with

so

me

ad

ap

tatio

n to

ente

rtain

ing

•appro

priate

sty

le c

learly

esta

blis

he

d t

o m

ain

tain

re

ad

er’s inte

rest

thro

ug

hou

t

•voca

bu

lary

ch

ose

n f

or

eff

ect,

to

ente

rta

in t

he

re

ader

•re

aso

nab

ly w

ide

voca

bu

lary

use

d,

tho

ug

h

no

t a

lwa

ys a

pp

rop

ria

tely

co

rrect sp

elli

ng o

f:

•com

mon g

ram

matical fu

nction

word

s c

onsis

ten

tly

•a

lmo

st a

ll in

flecte

d w

ord

s

•m

ost

de

riva

tio

na

l su

ffix

es,

e.g

. -io

n,

-ise

, -a

l/ia

l, -

ab

le/ible

•m

ost

pre

fixe

s, e

.g. dis

appear,

u

nce

rta

in,

excla

im

like

ly e

rro

rs:

•o

cca

sio

na

l ph

on

etica

lly p

lau

sib

le

sp

elli

ng in c

on

tent

word

s,

e.g

. b

oa

rd,

acse

pt,

hu

ng

rey,

tery

fin

g

•d

ou

ble

co

nso

na

nts

in

pre

fixe

s,

e.g

.irre

gu

lar,

unn

ece

ssa

ry

L4

•som

e a

ttem

pt

to v

ary

le

ng

th,

str

uctu

re a

nd

su

bje

ct of se

nte

nces

•use o

f som

e

su

bo

rdin

ating

co

nne

ctive

s,

e.g

.if,

wh

en,

beca

use

•so

me

vari

atio

n,

genera

lly a

ccura

te, in

te

nse

and

verb

form

s

•se

nte

nce

s d

em

arc

ate

d

accura

tely

thro

ughout th

e

text,

inclu

din

g q

ue

stio

n

mark

s

•sp

eech

mark

s to

denote

speech g

enera

lly

accura

te,

with s

om

e o

ther

speech p

unctu

ation,

wh

ere

ap

pro

priate

•com

mas u

sed in lis

ts

an

d o

cca

sio

na

lly t

o m

ark

cla

use

s,

alth

ou

gh n

ot

alw

ays a

ccura

tely

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

by

clu

ste

rin

g r

ela

ted

poin

ts o

r b

y t

ime

se

qu

en

ce

•id

ea

s a

re o

rga

nis

ed

sim

ply

with

a fittin

g

op

en

ing

an

d c

losin

g,

som

etim

es lin

ked

•id

ea

s g

en

era

lly in

lo

gic

al se

qu

ence

but

overa

ll direction o

f w

riting

oft

en

not

cle

arly s

ign

alle

d

•p

ara

gra

phs/s

ectio

ns

he

lp t

o o

rga

nis

e c

on

tent,

e.g

.m

ain

id

ea u

su

ally

su

pp

ort

ed o

r e

lab

ora

ted

by follo

win

g s

ente

nces

•w

ithin

para

gra

phs/

se

ctio

ns,

limite

d r

an

ge

of

co

nn

ective

s b

etw

ee

n

se

nte

nce

s,

e.g

. over-

use

of

“als

o”

or

pro

no

uns

•so

me

atte

mp

ts t

o

esta

blis

h s

imp

le lin

ks

be

twe

en

pa

rag

rap

hs/

se

ctio

ns n

ot

alw

ays

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

. firs

tly,

ne

xt

•re

leva

nt

ide

as a

nd

co

nte

nt

ch

ose

n t

o a

pp

ly t

o

ap

pe

ar

on

te

levis

ion

•so

me

id

ea

s a

nd

mate

rial develo

ped in

de

tail,

e.g

. de

scri

ptio

ns

ela

bo

rate

dby a

dverb

ial

an

d e

xp

an

de

d n

oun

p

hra

ses

•str

aig

htf

orw

ard

vie

wp

oin

t g

en

era

lly

esta

blis

hed a

nd

ma

inta

ine

d,

e.g

.m

ain

tain

ing a

con

sis

tent

sta

nce a

bo

ut

the c

ha

racte

r ch

ose

n

•m

ain

pu

rpose o

f w

ritin

g

to e

nte

rta

in is c

lea

r b

ut

no

t a

lwa

ys c

onsis

tently

main

tain

ed

•m

ain

fea

ture

s o

f se

lecte

d fo

rm o

f a

n

ap

plic

atio

n a

re c

lear

an

d

ap

pro

priate

to p

urp

ose

•sty

le g

en

era

lly

ap

pro

priate

to t

ask,

thou

gh

a

wa

ren

ess o

f re

ade

r n

ot

alw

ays s

usta

ined

•so

me

evid

en

ce o

f delib

era

te v

ocabula

ry

ch

oic

es

•so

me

exp

an

sio

n o

f g

en

era

l voca

bu

lary

to

m

atc

h topic

of

rete

lling o

f e

ve

nts

co

rrect sp

elli

ng o

f:

•m

ost com

mon g

ram

matical

fun

ctio

n w

ord

s,

e.g

. yo

u,

beca

use,

although

•m

ost

ad

ve

rbs w

ith

-ly

form

ation

like

ly e

rro

rs:

•hom

ophones o

f com

mon

gra

mm

atica

l fu

nction

word

s, e

.g.

the

y’re

/th

eir/th

ere

, o

f/ha

ve/o

ff

•o

cca

sio

na

l ph

on

etica

lly p

lau

sib

le

sp

elli

ng in c

on

tent

word

s,

e.g

. board

, a

cse

pt,

hu

ng

rey,

tery

fin

g

•o

cca

sio

na

l in

flecte

d w

ord

s,

e.g

.-e

s,

-ed,

-ies,

-ie

d,

-er,

-e

st,

-ie

r, -

iest,

-in

g

IE

Ove

rall

asse

ssm

en

t (t

ick o

ne

bo

x o

nly

) S

ecu

re 5

L

ow

5

Se

cu

re 4

L

ow

4

Secondary

Nat

iona

l Str

ateg

yfo

r sc

hool

imp

rove

men

t

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