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SUSAN BAT SFORD, GRAPHICS EDITOR, TWITTER @SBATS1; INFOG RAPHIC BY LINDSAY OUELLETTE/ QMI AGENCY Santa’s secret workshop 00 00 00 Sources: Thane Burnett IN MINUTES News and events — visually QMI Agency recently spent time with reclusive do-gooder Santa Claus at his isolated North Pole retreat. It was a discreet mission to uncover all we could about the secretive North Pole facilities and some little-known facts about the jolly old man himself. Since time zones are dictated by longitude, clocks at Santa’s Village always stay at midnight. Chocolate factory Candy cane factory Gingerbread bakery factory Snowball factory Christmas treats cafe Seamstress for elf outfits Post oce T oy shop Skis and toboggan shop They also track polar bears, after the incident centuries ago with ‘Merv the reindeer that went out to pee, but never came back.’ Elves report to Mrs. Claus, rather than directly to the big guy. Santa’s village is actually more like an aircraft carrier. It’s one facility that’s all con- nected under the ice. The tiny shops and stables above are mainly just for show and house any operations that do not need to be kept secret. Computer IT Command and control Green house Ice-to-water purification system Vet clinic and hospital Animal quarters Store-housing for toys Factory floor Radar station Research and development labs Hall of records to track incidents of good and bad in about 91.8 million homes The complex was once home to 1,500 elves, but thanks to outsourcing and robotics, only 22 are now needed for toy production. A special security detail keeps track of Russian manned ice-stations set up near the North Pole, as well as tourists who fly in. The village remains shielded through unspecified technology that involves mirrors and popcorn. And additional 85 elves look after running the facility, tending to Santa and Mrs. Claus and operating the vast computer systems. All eleves are required to have a PHD (Premium Holiday Degree). The North Pole was not his first choice for a secret factory lair. He originally set up shop in Florida, but found the elves kept calling in sick to go surfing. Temperature: around -30C, but can dip colder than -42C. Since the North Pole is actually in shifting ice in the Arctic Ocean, the complex floats. · Reindeer poop is used to help grow crops for elf food. What you never knew about Santa: • Santa brings back much of the milk and cookies left out for him at Christmas and freezes it to get him through another year. (So please don’t skimp on what you leave out for him — he will eventually eat all of it.) • Santa has to replace that sleigh after each use. • Santa is the largest purchaser of electronic components and sugar in the world. • Santa employs a small legal team, who once urged him to sue companies and Hollywood productions that use his image without permission. But Santa cannot show up in any court. • “We can get a pretty good idea just through scrolling Facebook on whether or not kids have been good or bad,” Santa admits. • Santa showed us what he’s prepared to leave you for Christmas. You might want to take those pictures down from your Facebook page. About 150,000 litres of hot chocolate is consumed each year.
