SECRETS OF SECRETS OF HAPPY COUPLESHAPPY COUPLES

• MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN TO

LIVE TOGETHER AS A HUSBAND AND A WIFE

THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

• THIS UNION IS FACED BY MANY CHALLENGES THAT THREATEN ITS EXISTENCE UNLESS

THEY ARE CAREFULLY AND WISELY HANDLED

AND ON TIME.

• INDEED MANY MARRIAGES INCLUDING OURS WHO ARE SITTING HERE TODAY ARE FACED

BY MANY PROBLEMS. IN FACT MANY OF OUR MARRIAGES ARE BELOW HAPPINESS

AVERAGE. WE LIVE TOGETHER AS SPOUSES BECAUSE OF MANY OTHER FACTORS BUT

NOT DUE TO A FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP.

•AS WE BEGIN THIS LESSON, YOU HAVE

TO BEAR THE FOLLOWING

POINTS IN MIND.

• 1. HAPPINES OR SADNESS IN MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS SOLELY ON TWO

PEOPLE, THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE. ANYTHING OR

ANYBODY ELSE INTERFERERS WITH YOUR MARRIAGE AS EITHER OR BOTH OF YOU

ALLOW IT.

• 2.MARRIAGE AT ITS BEST IS LIKE A COMPUTER. YOU GET OUT OF IT WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT. IF YOU PUT DELIGENCE, LOVE, CONCERN, UNDERSTANDING, FAITHFULNESS TO EACH OTHER, CARE, TRUST AND FAITH IN GOD, YOU GET HAPPINESS, SATISFACTION, FULFILMENT, INTIMACY AND COURAGE TO

FACE ISSUES IN LIFE.

• BUT IF YOU PUT SUSPISION, SELF-NTEREST, PRIDE, COMMANDS, DIRECTIVES, DOUBTS IN GOD, UNCOMMITMENT, UNFAITHFULNESS,

YOU WILL GET FRUSTRATIONS, ANGER, PROBLEMS OF ALL KINDS, SOMETIMES

SICKNESS AND EVEN DEATH..

• 3..YOU MUST KNOW THAT THERE IS NO PERFECT WOMAN OR MAN. YOU MARRIED A

SINNER AND YOU SHOULD BE READY FOR SURPRISES FROM HIM/HER. MARRIAGE AT

ITS BEST IS GAMBLING. YOU CANNOT KNOW A GOOD HUSBAND OR WIFE BEFORE YOU

MARRY HIM/HER. REAL LOVE IN MARRIAGE COMES AFTER THE UNION, NEVER BEFORE

IT.

• 4. HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE COMES ONLY WHEN THE SPOUSES WANT TO HAVE IT AND WORK DELIGENTLY TOWARDS IT. ANYTHING

GOOD IS WORKED FOR. YOU CANNOT EXPECT TO HAVE HAPPINESS IN YOUR

MARRIAGE WHEN YOU ARE DOING NOTHING TOWARDS IT OR EVEN DAMAGING

THE LITTLE IN IT.

THE FOLLOWING ARE TESTED HIGHLIGHTS ON

HOW TO HAVE HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE

RELATIONSHIP. TRY THEM AND YOU WILL PROVE

THEM RIGHT.

• 1. HAVE A HEART SET TO LOVE AND SERVE GOD. LET

HIM BE THE MASTER OF YOUR LIFE IN ALL YOU DO AND SAY. RESPECT HIM IN

ALL PLACES, EVENTS, ACTIVITIES SITUATIONS AND

ASSOCIATIONS. JOB 22:21

• 2. LOVE YOUR SPOUSE. MORE THAN ANY OTHER

PERSON OR THING UNDER THE SUN DO NOT VALUE ANY PERSON UNDER THE SUN MORE THAN YOUR

SPOUSE.

• 3. DO YOUR HONEST PART IN AND FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TO MAKE IT

HAPPY. DO NOT SIT AND ORDER, COMMAND OR

DIRECT YOUR SPOUSE TO DO WHAT YOU SHOULD

WHILE YOU ARE NOT PARTICIPATING

•4. BE WILLING TO CHANGE YOUR

FORMER ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS

THAT MIGHT OFFEND YOUR SPOUSE.

• 5.. CREATE TIME TO BE TOGETHER WITH YOUR

SPOUSE AS MUCH AS YOU ARE ABLE TO, TO SHARE,

DISCUSS, PLAN ,RELAX AND EVEN ENJOY EACH OTHER.

THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE.

• 6. PRACTICE FORGIVENESS AND TOLERANCE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.TWO PEOPLE

LIVING TOGETHER WILL HAVE FRICTIONS OF SOME

SORT AT TIMES. YOU MUST LEARN THE ART OF

LIVING TOGETHER.

• 7. HAVE REGULAR AND SATISFYING SEXUAL

RELATION- SHIP TO EACH OTHER AS MUCH AS

POSSIBLE. KNOW THAT SATSFYING SEX TO A LOVING

MARRIED COUPLE SOLVES MORE THAN 60% OF MARITAL

SQUABLES

• 8. COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER AS OFTEN AND AS FREELY AS POSSIBLE IN

THE RIGHT WAY AND AT THE RIGHT TIME. USE THE RIGHT

WORDS AND PHRASES. CARE FOR BODY GESTURES

AND EXPRESSIONS

• 9. ALWAYS HANDLE YOUR FAMILY ISSUES AND PROBLEM AS A TEAM. ATTACKING EACH

OTHER IS DEADLY TO MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP. EVEN IF ONE IS TO BLAME OR CORRECT, DO IT IN LOVE. AT ALL COST AVOID

‘HOLIER THAN THOU’ ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOUR SPOUSE.

10. SERVE EACH OTHER FREELY, ALWAYS AND

WILLINGLY SO THAT EACH ONE OF YOU FEELS LOVED AND

WANTED.

• 11. BE FAITHFUL TO EACH OTHER IN MATTERS OF

SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. NO EXTRA MARITAL

RELATIONSHIP.NO DENYING OR REFUSING CONJUGAL RIGHTS TO YOUR

SPOUSE.

• 12. HANDLE YOUR PARENTS AND BROTHERS AND SISTERS CAREFULLY IN RELATIONSHIP

TO YOUR SPOUSE AND MARRIAGE. YOUR PARENTS

AND RELATIVES CAN TERRIBLY AFFECT OR EVEN DAMAGE YOUR MARRIAGE.

• 13. NEVER HAVE SECRETS WHICH YOUR SPOUSE DOES NOT KNOW, MORE SO ON

YOUR PROPERTY OR, INVESTMENTS. IF YOU OWE ANYBODY ANYTHING, LET YOUR

SPOUSE KNOW SO THAT IN THE EVENT OF INSTANT DEATH, HE/SHE WILL BE ABLE TO

HANDLE THE MATTER.

• 14. LET THE WIFE BE SUBMISSIVE TO THE HUASBAND ALWAYS, GIVING HIM RESPECT

AS THE HEADS OF THE FAMILY. EPHE 522-24

• SHE SHOULD MANAGE HER HOME WELL, ESPECIALLY IN MATTERS OF HOME MAKING. SHE SHOULD MAKE SURE THAT THE GIRL CHILD IS WELL BROUGHT UP, WITH RIGHT FEMININE MANNERS; PROPER DRESSING, APPROPRIATE MAKE UPS, GOOD BEHAVIOR AND ACCEPTABLE RESPECT.

• 15. LET THE HUSBAND LOVE HIS WIFE SACRIFICIALLY,

CARING FOR AND CHERISHING HER IN ALL THINGS, KNOWING

THAT SHE IS A WEAKER VESSEL, AND A FELLOW HEIR OF GOD’S GRACE. EPHE 5:25-

27, 1PETER 3:7.

• HE SHOULD BE THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY, DIRECTING RULING AND MANGING HIS HOME WELL HE SHOULD MAKE SURE THE BOY CHILD IS WELL BROUGHT UP AS A MAN, RESPECT HIS MOTHER AND ALL FEMALES BOTH AT HOME AND OUTSIDE.

• 16.MAKE ROOM FOR SEPERATENESS.

MISSING YOUR SPOUSE FOR A DAY TWO OR A

WEEK CREATES THIRST TO BE TOGETHER.

• 19. PRACTICE GOING TO BED TOGETHER. THIS HELPS TO CEMENT YOUR INTIMACY

AND ONENNESS. BEING LEFT IN THE SITTING ROOM TILL MIDNIGHT WATCHING FOOTBALL

MATCH, THE NIGERIAN MOVIES OR ANY THING ELSE THAT CAN BE AVOIDED IS NOT HEALTH FOR A COUPLE’S RELATIONSHIP.

• 21. GENUINELY AND CONSTANTLY EXPRESS YOUR LOVE TO YOUR SPOUSE. THIS MAY BE HOLDING HANDS TOGETHER, JUST SAYING THAT YOU LOVE HIM/HER, AN EXPRESSIVE EYE CONTACT AND MUCH MORE GOES ALL

THE WAY TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

• 21. REGULARLY SHARING HEART FELT AFFECTIONS

SUCH AS KISSING, HUGGING AND BODY TOUCHES WHICH

IN MOST CASES SHOULD NOT BE SEXUAL ADVANCES THOUGH IN THE LONG RUN

THEY ENHANCE IT.

22. KEEP YOUR SELF AS ATTRACTIVE AS POSSIBLE TO AND FOR YOUR SPOUSE. THE FACT THAT YOU ARE MARRIED DOES NOT

MEAN THAT YOU BECOME CARELESS IN YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, TEETH AND BODY SMELL, DRESS COLOR

COMBINATION, HAIR DRESSINGS AND CUT, BEARD TRIMING ETC.

• 23 PRACTICE GENEROSITY. GIVE

FREELY TO YOUR SPOUSE ALL THINGS BUT MORE

SO LOVE. GIVE TO OTHER PEOPLE WHAT YOU CAN GIVE AND YOU WILL BE

BLESSED.

• 24 BE THANKFUL ALL THE TIME, FIRST TO GOD,

THEN TO YOUR SPOUSE FOR ALL HE/SHE IS AND OR HAS DONE. PRACTICE TO SAY, ‘THANK YOU, I

APPRECIATE’

• 25. BOTH SHOULD LOOK AT THE FUTURE. WHAT WILL YOU BE 30 YEARS FROM TODAY?

AND HOW ARE YOU BOTH WORKING TOWARDS THAT? HOW WILL YOU LIVE

WITHOUT PARENTS, CHILDREN AND WHEN RETIRED? YOU MUST PREPARE FOR IT NOW.

• 26. PRAY FOR YOUR SPOUSE DEARLY AND CONSTANTLY. ASK THE LORD TO GIVE YOU A GENUINE HEART TO LOVE HIM/HER IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE.

• 27. WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP SEEMS TO BE

GOING BAD, RECALL THE PAST POSITIVE THINGS IN

YOUR LIFE. WHAT BROUGHT YOU TOGETHER? CAN YOU GO BACK AND TRY TO REKINDLE

THAT LOVE!