1

air

2

Cover design by

Hannah Hicks-Santos

&

Liza Obel-Omia

3

C O N T E N T S

♥ ♥ ♥

Fan Mail 4 E.S. (Evil Sheep) 32

The Daily Duck 5 What Kind of Duck Are You?

33-34

Easy/Hard 6-7 Love Dictionary 35-37

Smiley Mug 8 Various Drives 38

Ted & His Bread Machine: 3

9 How to Ask For A Second Opinion

39

I Hate Love 10 Up Side/Down Side 40-41

Please Note 11 7 Lunes & 1 Non-Lune 42

Oh No! 12 Sector 9 43

Redfooted: A Story 13-17 A Collection of Lies 44

Odd Cartoon 18 20 of My Fears 45

Mad Libs 19 If… 46

Myself: Wardrobe 20 Music Review 47

Random Squares 21 Love Letters From Crazy People

48-49

Notice 22 Polls Galore 50

Ask a Sheepish Duck 23 Interview with Barbara O’Connor

51

Broomyo & Juliet 24-25 One New Poem 52

Crazy Unicorns 26 Two News Poems 53

Vs. 27 My Life as A Vampire

54

Sleepings Potions 28-29 Special Advertising Section

55

Pretty Angel 30 Sheepish Duck Merchandise Page

56-57

Dylan’s Dating Advice 31 Contributors 58

4

D E A R S H E E P I S H D U C K 281 COUNTY ROAD BARRINGTON, RI 02806

W r i t e t o u s .

Dear Sheepish Duck, I really like the things you, like, do. I like to, like, say like a lot. Anyway, like, you rock. Like, you rule, like. Like, I love you! Liz/A.K.A. Like Girl Popo, Montana Dear S.D., You are awesome. You make me feel gray (which is better than black, my usual color). You rule mostly!! Thank you for letting me read you. Bye. Tara/A.K.A. Goth Girl Goth, Utah

5

T H E D A I L Y D U C K By Eli Kelley

MOUNT RUSHMORE FELL DOWN!

The North Dakota Scoop of the Day

TIGER SPOTTED IN BARRINGTON

A tourist cried, ―Bloody tiger!‖ on Wednesday.

NEW MOVIE HITS THEATER

LINT MONSTERS A Lint Monster throws driers over the U.S.

6

7

8

S M I L E Y M U G

By Finlay Earsman

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T E D & H I S B R E A D M A C H I N E : 3 By Liza Obel -Omia

Ted was cooking a

chicken. It was only

his first time, but

every-thing was

going along fine. When he

was finished, he took the

chicken out and smiled. He

liked this oven. He started to

use it more often, and as he

did he liked it more than the

bread machine. He even

thought about pulling the

oven out of its place and

carrying it around, but that

would be too hard. Ted

started to love the oven.

Believe it or not, but

Ted’s bread machine had a

tiny, tiny, mini, not-seeable

thing that represented kind

of a brain. In that tiny, tiny,

mini, not-seeable kind of a

brain, the bread machine

felt jealous. He loved Ted

and wanted to hang out with

him.

One day, Ted had out

a turkey and his bread

machine. Instead of grab-

bing the turkey, by accident

Ted grabbed the

bread machine and

placed it in the oven,

and then walked

away. The heat was on and

the bread machine got

hotter and hotter. When Ted

checked on the turkey, he

found out that it was the

bread machine. He yelled

and pulled it out.

He called Travis. “My

bread machine is burnt!” he

cried.

“I’m coming over!”

Travis said.

A few minutes later,

Travis arrived. “I brought my

TAKE AWAY THE BURN &

BROWN® spray in a can.”

Travis sprayed the burn &

brown stuff on Ted’s bread

machine. They let it dry for

about twenty minutes, and

then…

“Thanks! Yay! Yes,”

said Ted. Then they had

some bread.

THE END (for now…)

10

I H A T E L O V E By Hannah Hicks -Santos

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P L E A S E N O T E By Eli Kelley

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A N E W D R A W I N G By Evan Stabach

13

EVAN STABACH

REDFOOTED

A Story

Prologue

ne dark and stormy night, Kit and Mrs. Rose (a friend of Kit’s mother) were driving to Kit’s house from Max’s (Kit’s best friend’s) birthday party.

When they turned down a street, a huge, red pickup with horns on the front slammed into the right door of the car, which propelled Kit out of the open door and into the woods.

O

14

CHAPTER 1

it had a choice to make. Either run from the cops and his father, or return to the vehicle. He thought for a while, but finally made up his mind. He chose

to run away. Now, everybody knew the woods were very

dangerous. There were wolves and bears there, but there was a prophecy that the first person to go into the woods would be the forest bane (a person with the powers of the forest).

Kit ran through the forest, but tripped over a root, slipped, and fell to the forest floor.

K

15

CHAPTER 2

Ugh,‖ Kit groaned as he picked himself up off the ground. He took the energy bar out of his pocket and bit it. He felt a surge of energy flow through him. He

found a big, green leaf and squeezed it until drops of water fell into his mouth. A figure emerged from the shadows. ―Welcome,‖ it said. ―Who are you?‖ said Kit.

―

16

CHAPTER 3

rabbit led Kit to a village. People crowded around him saying things like, ―Welcome, Forest Bane,‖ and ―Who is he?‖

The forester asked, ―There are many things you need to prepare for, but which one first?‖ He pointed at a large billboard that read:

―That one,‖ said Kit, pointing to herban arts.

A

17

―Then you will need a map,‖ said the forester, giving Kit a map.

Kit looked at it.

To be continued…

18

O D D C A R T O O N By Emma Germano

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A MAD LIBS FOR _________ (noun)

By Eli Kelley

Some _________________ named _________

(negative adjective) (noun) ________ got arrested for saying ___________________! (noun) (a made up word) That is just so ____________________!

(gossipy adjective)

Even my _______________ is smart enough not to say (relative)

_________________________! That ________________ (that made-up word from before) (poop-related)

was ludicrous! They are just so ______________ - ______ (adjective) (root)

crazy! And that was our ________________ ______________

(adjective) (verb) __________ show! (time)

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M Y S E L F : W A R D R O B E By Liza Obel -Omia

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R A N D O M SQ U A R E S by Liza Obel-Omia

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By Finlay Earsman

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A S K A S H E E P I S H D U C K By Erica Dominguez

Dear Sheepie, My brother always gets all the attention, especially when I’m at home. He comes home with 5 toys and I come home with none. What can I do?

Love, Help!

Dear Help, Well, the best option for you is to taunt your brother with a curly fry. Those are gen-erally effective. If your par-ents would not approve of the idea (mine would) then maybe you could steal some of his toys and hide them under your bed until he turns 16.

Kisses and Hugs, Sheepie

Dear Sheepie, My sister thinks she’s so beautiful, which she is. I try to be as pretty as her, but I’m afraid it will be copying!

Ugh! Pretty Sister

Dear Pretty Sister, My first best idea for you would be to put hair remover in her shampoo and lye in her moisturizer. Other than that, consider plastic surgery.

Kisses and Hugs, Sheepie

24

LIZA OBEL-OMIA & EMMA GERMANO

BROOMYO AND JULIET

A Continued Story

ou’ve heard of Gnomeo and Juliet and Romeo and Juliet. But

have you heard of Broomyo and Juliet? They come from two

different families who have always had a family feud.

One warm, broomy day, Juliet and her sister, Beatrice,

were sweeping along the path in the park. Beatrice looked

around and spotted Broomyo. He was sitting on a bench next to

his brother, Tybalt.

“Hey, look. It’s the dorks from next door!” Beatrice said,

pointing to Broomyo and his brother.

“You pointed your ugly, long, longue-licked finger at me!”

Tybalt said, glaring at Beatrice.

“That is what a dork looks like, Juliet. Sitting on a bench

being lazy and dorkish!” said Beatrice, a little too loud.

Tybalt jumped up and shouted, “I’m not dorkish or lazy!”

“Oh, do I smell a challenge?” Beatrice screamed.

. . .

Y

25

Continued. . .

“Oh, I think your boogery nose does! But no worries for

me! You are just a gal with a stuck up broom who thinks she is

smart and pretty.” Broomyo and Juliet smiled at the brooms that

had stopped sweeping and stared. Some brooms were even

rushing their children away and telling them not to listen.

“I hate when this happens,” muttered Broomyo. “I’m kind

of used to it, though.” He smiled at Juliet.

“Yeah! Remember when your mom started trash-talking

mine?” Juliet said with a smile. “Right in the middle of the push

market!”

“Heehaha, I know, I know.” Broomyo laughed even

harder.

“Juliet, are you talking to that lowlife machine-made

pickle brooma?” said Beatrice.

“His name is Broomyo,” Juliet said quietly. “Broomyo,

don’t talk to that mean, stuck-up BRAT Beatrice.”

Not to be continued.

Make the end yourself.

26

T H E C R A Z Y U N I C O R N S

By Finlay Earsman

27

V S . By Eli Kelley

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S L E E P I N G P O T I O N S By Finlay Earsman

29

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P R E T T Y A N G E L By Liza Obel -Omia

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D y l a n ’ s D a t i n g A d v i c e

By Dylan Ingham

D e a r D y l an , My Grilfrynd haytes me beecuz mi speling erors.

Love, Pnill

Dea r Pn i l l , What?

Sincerely, Dylan

Dear Dylan, Help! I work at a zoo and I am trying to find the answer to a mating problem for two albino walruses. One is having a baby and is completely cut off. They leave her stranded on a rock. What should I do?

- Unsupported Walrus Capacitator from Greenpeace

Dear Unsupported Walrus Capacitator , You should make the pregnant albino walrus’s rock remote-controlled so

that if she is stranded, she can be moved over to wherever is a better place.Needs

Sincerely,

Dylan

Dear Dylan,Help, My older sister said to rite you with boy troubles. So here I go. They stink! Boys are meen. They call me names and they pick their noses. How do I get around it? Here in Mrs. Cruz’s 1st grade we don’t get out oftin. Help!

- From Tanya, age 6

I’m a big girl!

Dear Tanya, I’m sorry that you have problems with boys, but you’re asking for hate advice from a person who gives love advice. Sorry!

Sincerely, Dylan

PS: Tell your sister to get her facts about love advice people right.

32

E . S . ( E V I L S H E E P ) By Erica Dominguez

Can’t sleep

Counting sheep.

1...2...3...4...

ARGH!

What IS that thing?

Black face,

Curly, white hair.

ICK! It isn’t wearing

underwear!

Okay, I think

I know what

it is. It’s

Another sheep

a real creep.

Evilish looking.

―Stop!‖ I say.

But it won’t

go away.

―Baa, baa, Mwahaha!‖ it cackles.

―Ahh!‖ I went to scream.

And then I realize,

It’s eating my vocal

cords.

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W H A T K I N D O F D U C K A R E Y O U ? By Erica Dominguez

Kindly answer these questions:

1. Which one sounds like you?

a. I will eat any pancake I see.

b. I wish I could whack my sibling with a frying pan.

c. I’m in love with Justin Bieber

2. What do you do at a friend’s house?

a. Raid her refrigerator so only the brussel’s sprouts and old

cheese remain

b. Attempt to fill your pockets with anything that looks good

enough to steal.

c. Dream of your honeymoon with Justin Beiber.

3. What do you dream about during math class?

a. Your roast beef sandwich.

b. Ways to get your teacher fired.

c. You write your initials and Justin Beiber’s all over your notes.

4. When you can’t sleep, what do you count?

a. Meat-lover’s pizza with extra bacon.

b. Knives

c. Marriage proposals from Justin Bieber.

5. What do you and your friends talk about?

a. Different sandwich combinations from Subway.

b. Ways to injure the kid who sits next to you.

c. What you would say at your and Justin Bieber’s wedding.

ANSWER KEY

34

A N S W E R K E Y

Mostly As: You are a Super Eater Duck

Mostly Bs: You are a Devilish, Evil Duck

Mostly Cs: You are a Starry-Eyed Crazed Bieber Fan Duck

m

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a·dred·e·bec /a-drědʹ-i-beck/ noun A certain shade of red often seen on lonely people’s houses. The doomed piano teacher painted her bungalow adredebec.

bi·quub /be-cubeʹ/noun Pressure to be calm. Too much biquub made the brain surgeon antsy . bril t/brilt/verb Hug someone whi le eating off a gri l l . She spent a l l evening watching her next door neighbors br i l t .

due·zef·ar /dooʹ-zef-ar/noun A crush on an extra-terrestr ial . The young, secret ive shoe sa lesman won’t admit he has a duezefar.

du·fimq /doo-feemkʹ/ adject ive Slang Done with someone. ”We are hereby dufimq!” said the upset duchess to the nasty duke.

du·gekt /doo ʹ-geckt/ noun A ser ious interest in chefs . Despite her dugekt, my aunt marr ied a zookeeper.

dum·zar /dum-zarr ʹ/ noun When you try to help someone you love and you end up ruining their life. The vagabond’s r ich and famous father wrote a bes tsel l ing memoir called “My Dumb Dumzar.”

dum·zer·a /dum-zeerʹ-a/ noun An expensive dead flower. The stingy banker gave h is maid a dumzera for her bir thday.

el ·be /el ʹ-bee/ adject ive Ludicrously in love. Those b irds are so elbe!

ge·jivo /j i- jeev ʹ-o/noun Hating someone so much you fal l in love with them. Psychiatr is ts from al l over the world gathered for a week in Ice land to analyze the gej ivo en igma.

The L o v e D i c t i o n a r y

Editor: Jackson Obel-Omia

36

gudz /goods/adject ive Crazy for someone who dances badly. “I’m gudz for that l ibrar ian who can’t dance!” sa id the mailman.

gu·jek /goo ʹ- jeck/ noun The wrong gift from someone you love. Every year my parents give me eight gujeks for Chanukah. gylp /j i lp/noun When you wish you said something different in your last conversation. There’s no avoiding gylp in therapy.

ha·daag /ha-dag ʹ/verb So desperate you kiss a hobo. The lonely carpet salesman apologized to the hobo for unexpectedly hadaaging h im.

i r ·bule/er ʹ-beool/noun The f lag of love . The hippies proudly displayed their irbule in the backyard. jurdg /jerdge/noun Tickl ish k iss ing . Jurdg is a pleasant d is tract ion from unsolvable problems.

lem·tip /lem ʹ- t ip/verb Secret ly giv ing gifts to someone you love . The

quiet poet preferred lemt ipping to f l ir t ing.

ma·turd /mah-terd ʹ/ noun The opposite of love. The t ime has come for those f i l led with maturd to move away from here.

med·jucz /meh-jooks ʹ/ noun The f lag of hate. Mr. Wilson waved his medjucz every Monday on the bus . moahr /mwahhr/noun Air-kiss sound effects . He sent moahrs as he drove away from his wife.

mou·gose /moo ʹ-gose/ verb To dramat ical ly eat with someone you love. Lady and the Tramp l iked to mougose.

pee·grit /pee ʹ-grit/ noun Felonious tendencies . The thief’s peegri t emerged when he saw the mi l l ion dol lar diamond.

pip·red /pip ʹ-erd/verb Get away from me now, out of my wor ld, out of my mind, disappear forever . He pipreded after his friend told him off again.

37

plewt /ploot/verb To love someone so much you die. The br ide and groom almost plewted in the middle of the ceremony! quee·quee /kwee-kwee/ verb When a narwhal fal ls in love with a unicorn and becomes possessed because unicorns don’t exist . The poor narwhal queequeed, and never real ly recovered.

qui·cro /kwee ʹ-krow/verb K i ss ing f ire hydrants . The very strange dog had an unusual habit of quicroing.

quil ·ex /quil l ʹ- ix/noun A vegetarian love interest . He only ate salad with his qui lex .

rz·idy /r izz ʹ- i t ty/noun A hard-to-f ind heart-shaped, wheat pasta sold only on Valent ine’s Day. I looked al l over for rzidy on February 14. schmitt /shhhmit/noun A fart of love. The br ide forgave him for schmitt ing in the middle of the ceremony.

tenn·fo /ten ʹ-fo/verb When you hug and kiss ten people. He tennfoed at the giant family reunion. u·ma·tat·a /yoo-ma-

tat ʹ-a/ verb I don’t l ike you. He said “umatata” to the bul ly! ur·maas·ga·sas /(s i lent

r ) u-mass ʹ-ga-sass/verb avoiding boredom by inv it ing someone on a date. I have noth ing to do, I might as wel l urmaasgasas.

yit·r ·ham /yi t ʹ-er-ham/ noun A specia l ham for yetis . Once a year, on March 11 t h , the r ich yet is buy y itrhams for the poor yet is . zifff (zif ) noun Laughter on a bad day. Nothing is better than a zifff after failing a test!

38

V A R I O U S D R I V E S By Kendall Jones

Sponsored by: Vampires

Date: Midnight in Transylvania

Why: Not enough humans are stupid enough to get

bitten since Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Curse you,

Sarah Michelle Gellar !

Sponsored by: Zombies

Date: 11:00 @ Ye Olde Graveyard

Why: WE NEED BRAINS!

Sponsored by: Dr. Frankenstein

Date: Midnight @ The Frankenstein Place

Why: I am making a monster. Creating Life!

Blood drive

Brain Drive

39

HOW TO ASK FOR A SECOND OPINION By Kendall Jones

rrive with the bare essentials: duct tape, trash can, and a

box. Buy low, sell high. Then, dig in your heels, or dig a hole. Yes, a whole hole. Next, find a pretty one (as in capes). Now you can call for help, because buying Nicki Minaj tickets are cheap. Ok, find a table and use a yardstick. Then, diversify your portfolio. Take a large bag to the morgue. You have to be in the right place at the right time. Don’t look before you leap, look after. Do something honorable for not looking. Smile; frown. Learn the law of pickles, and if you get stung, don’t. If you lean to the left, apply ointment to provide cushions for the bungee jumping. Avoid yellow snow. Call your

attorney, now. Just dial 1-800-IWANTMYLAWYER-2-CALLANATTORNEY. Cover your mouth and speak slowly. Make sure the pop-sicle is plugged in. Be very loud. Don’t get out before it’s too late for cramps. Know that this isn’t easy: Find a concrete/grassy field. Remember—no one cares. Finally, look under the couch. That is how to ask for a second opinion…NOT! I WASTED YOUR TIME! That’ll be $50,000.00 please. P.S. Watch out for the cops. P.P.S. Look on the bright side: You’re down $50,000.00, and I’m up $50,000.00. No bright side for you. For me, maybe. Not you.

A

40

U P S I D E / D O W N S I D E

By Jack Kill i lea

41

U P S I D E / D O W N S I D E

By Jack Kill i lea

42

7 L U N E S & 1 N O N - L U N E By Amelia Pappas-Horii

My Hedge…

It’s very green.

It towers way above me. I am scared.

Behind i t

Something….behind it! Hiding behind the hedge, I…

…can’t see it!

Coming

It is coming. It might catch me soon!

I AM CAUGHT!

Caught

I am caught. Please come and help me!

I am trapped!

Find me…

Please find me! I’m in the green h… h…

The horrid hedge.

FOUND

I AM FOUND. Deep inside the green hedge.

They saved me.

They

Who is THEY? They are behind the tree.

The brown tree.

The Brown Tree

It is massive. They are behind it.

They found me. Who is behind the hedge?

This is my imagination. My mind.

43

S E C T O R 9 By Dylan Ingham

e was flying. High above the ground with-out a thing to

worry about. He looked down at the perfect land-

scape and saw a wonderful mansion with a sparkly

sign above the gold door that said WELCOME TO

YOUR NEW HOME.

―Is that for me?‖ he wondered aloud.

Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice, that said, ―Yes, it is.‖

He saw his mom, but she was different. Her tone was

lighter and less harsh, and there weren’t as many gray hairs

on her head, or black bags under her eyes. It was as if his

mom had gone back in time fifteen years.

―It is all for you,‖ said the mom.

―Thank you so mu—‖ the boy stopped mid-sentence.

He saw that the sky was turning red and the wind was picking

up. On the horizon, he saw the land crumbling into dust.

―What’s happening!?‖ yelled the boy. But his scream was

lost in the now dangerously fast gales of a premature tornado.

It wasn’t premature for long, though. Soon, it became

a full-fledged twister. . .

To be continued…

H

44

A C O L L E C T I O N O F L I E S By Hannah Hicks -Santos

I really hate cows.

I really hate potatoes.

I’m saying these things with my fingers crossed.

45

2 0 O F M Y F E A R S By Hannah Hicks -Santos

1. Coats.

2. My reflection.

3. Being alone.

4. The dark.

5. Hobos.

6. This number.

7. Sticks.

8. Socks.

9. Pop Tarts.

10. Boxes.

11. Chairs.

12. This number too.

13. And this one.

14. Triskaidekaphobia.

15. Being afraid of peanut butter.

16. This number.

17. The word “as.”

18. Peanut butter.

19. Fear.

20. This list.

46

I F … By Jack Kill i lea

If magic were real , I would be a bunny .

If the submarine was purple , the Beatles

would be five thousand dollars richer.

If all pants were green , every day would

be funnish ((kind of).

47

M U S I C R E V I E W By Sam Trachtenberg

“Sexy & I know It” by LMFAO I think this band is

good, but completely

inappropriate for kids.

I mean, come on,

people. Do you know

what the letters LMFAO mean? If you do, I think you know

plenty about this band. Even though people are reading this they

will continue to ignore me. Have you ever heard ―believe

everything you read‖? The music video is also super

inappropriate for the people that watch it. Now this song and

this music video have put images in our heads that are

unnecessary to everyone.

48

LOVE LETTERS FROM CRAZY PEOPLE By Hannah Hicks -Santos

DEER ELLA,

U R PRIT-T. I ♥ U. U R AN AN-JEL.

SYNED,

SOM1 Hoo is nut inna Nut howse

DEER ELLA,

I ♥ U. I TROOLY DOo. ALL I KIN THINcK OF IS U.

SIGNED,

NOT A STALKER

DEER ELLA,

I OPE U LYKE TEH NU SHOOZ I MAD

U. THAY R SOPOST 2 MASSAJ YOR FIT.

I ♥ U!

- SOM1 HOO IZ Nut INnA NUT HOWSE.

49

Dear Sycho, THANKS A LOT, GENIUS. Your so-called “amazing” massage shoes almost ATE my feet! It may be Saint Valentine’s Day, when everybody is supposed to love everybody else, but . . . I HATE YOU! STOP SENDING ME LOVE LETTERS, SYCHO!

-Ella

Dat Urt.

-SYcho

Dear Man in a Nuthouse, I didn’t mean it like that. I just didn’t really enjoy being chased around my own house by a pair of sneakers that wanted to eat my feet and just leave me screaming on the floor with bleeding ankles. (OK, now I’m just fantasizing, sorry.) But anyway, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.

-Ella

I ♥ U!

I ♥ U ANT I ALLWAYS WIL.

-SYcho

50

P O L L S G A L O R E By Hannah Hicks -Santos

IF YOU HAD ONE BILLION DOLLARS,

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

5 p eo p le sa i d : b u y L eg o s e t s

3 p eo p le sa i d : t r ee ho u se

m a n si o n s ys t e m, c ol l eg e f u n ds ,

c h a ri t y, Fe r r ar i

3 p eo p le sa i d : t r ip to

A u s tr a li a

3 p eo p le sa i d : b u y 1 00 ca t s ,

1 0 0 p o ni e s, 1 00 p up p ie s , 1 0 0

h a m st e rs , c o l le g e

1 p er s on sa i d : e v er y th i ng

51

A REAL INTERVIEW WITH BARBARA O’CONNOR

By Eli Kelley

ELI: What are your two favorite books you’ve written?

B.O’CONNOR: The Small Adventure of Popeye & Elvis and

Greetings from Nowhere.

ELI: Can you compare any of your books to your life at all?

B.O’C: Yes. All (or most) of my book settings are in the south,

where I was growing up!

ELI: Do you like writing fiction or biographies?

B.O’C: Fiction. because you don’t have to do too much research.

ELI: What do you do in your spare time?

B.O’C: Tap dancing and reading.

ELI: What was the first book you wrote?

B.O’C: Just a Little Will Power. (not published)

52

O N E N E W P O E M By Amelia Pappas-Horii

The Dancing Balls of Light

These dancing balls of light

flickering and slowly dimming

Till the light fades away…

then suddenly they flash quickly

Making our faces impossible to see

luminating our faces the lights

come on again.

All this happened cause

Kendall moved the lights.

The dancing balls of lights.

53

T W O N E W P O E M S By Liza Obel -Omia

Weather

The wind sings a soft song of

love and peace.

The rain taps a tune of wonder.

The thunder strikes a flash of excitement.

Weather has feeling, too.

Rainbow It seems to smile with color and

light. It calls you, pulling you

towards it. You race to find the

end, but never can. It starts to fade

and you say –

I will find that gold next time.

54

M Y L I F E A S A V A M P I R E By Liza Obel -Omia

Dear Diary,

I am a vampire. I hate garlic, bright light, and the Twilight

series! I have long, super hark brown hair that curls at the top.

In bright light I have to wear a light-reppellent bracelet, and

when people eat garlic I faint! But I also have love! Matt Teeri is

soooo cute. The thing is, though, every time I get close to him I

bite my hand and suck the blood. Then I need more blood, so I

have to drink the blood from my water bottle. By that time, Matt

has left. I love him so much. I wish he would notice me.

Maybe he will. Goodbye.

- ELizabeth Bite

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S P E C I A L A D V E R T I S I N G S E C T I O N

The Cool Purse by Liza

What is a Cool Purse™

you ask? It is a purse that

gives you fashion advice.

Plus, if you ask the purse

for something fashionable

it will come out of the bag!

This purse comes in many

colors, including Sunset

Stripes, Yellow, Lily Pad

Green, Spattered Blood

Red and Dark Lonely

Black Hole Black.

Only $100,000.64!

Animal Translator™ by Liza

A great

way to talk to

your pet, the

Animal

Translator™ can say all

kinds of things, like “You

stink” and “Yo, give me a

treat!” You can find out if

your pet is hip, mellow, or

crazy! It comes in all colors

and sizes. Only $999.00!

Alive Wand by Emma

If you point this

at anything and

say this spell: “ALIVE,

ALIVE, TURN THIS ALIVE!”

anything fake will turn

alive. Like a teddy bear

will turn alive. Or a toy

horse will turn alive. Or a

toy boat will turn alive.

Only $100,000!

Talk to You Alphabet Soup by Liza

ith this soup you

just ask a question

and it gives you an

answer. You can

ask about your boyfriend

while enjoying a hot soup.

But remember—if you eat

the “y” it is gone and the

soup will not say “yes”

anymore, only “es.” Go

buy a can right now.

Only $17.99.

W

By Emma Germano & Liza Obel-Omia

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S H E E P I S H D U C K M E R C H A N D I S E P A G E

Official Sheepish Duck

Keychain

$3.00

Sheepish Duck Staff

Autographs $10.00

Sheepish Duck Plush Doll

“Sheepish Plush”

$15.00

Sheepish Duck

Magnet

$3.00

By Eli Kelley

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Sheepish Duck Shirt

$11.00

Sheepish Duck

Bumper Sticker

$2.00

Sheepish Duck

Catalogue

$2.00

Sheepish Duck

Mug

$5.00

CUSTOMER REVIEW:

These things are awesome! We wasted all our money on them.

Who cares, though. Yeah! – coolgal567 and crazygal576

58

C O N T R I B U T O R S I N R A N D O M O R D E R

Hannah Hicks-Santos is rum-ored to love bacon and trips to the beach. She is ten-years-old and can often be found—anywhere! When you find her, she may be drawing, writing or singing. Do not be surprised. Emma Germano likes to write,

likes to draw, and wants to be a teacher. Kendall Jones is in 6th grade. She likes porcupines, sharp ob-jects, and matches. She may attempt to maim you. Amelia Pappas-Horii is 11-years-old and enjoys many things, including eating, more eating, dancing, hanging out, and annoying her sister. Liza Obel-Omia is a singer, a writer, a dancer, a reader, a swimmer, a happy-bringer and a rubber duck collector. Erica Dominguez is an 11-year-old synesthete. A self-proclaimed clown hater and Lucille Ball fan, she enjoys eating Eggos, drawing, and watching I Love Lucy with her cat. Approach her at your own

risk.

Jackson Obel-Omia likes to read and write. He plays basketball and baseball. He also runs cross country. He is 12 years old. Sam Trachtenberg is fun. He likes video games, swimming, and coins. He is in 5th grade

and is ten-years-old. He would like to build a boat. Finlay Earsman is a 5th grader and lives in a family of four. He can be funny and weird. Evan Stabach is in 5th grade. He is adventurous and fast, and he likes skiing, swimming, and stories. Jack Killilea is in 5th grade and wants to be a historian. His dad cuts his hair. Eli Kelley is a 4th grader at Hampden Meadows. When he's not creating funny stories with Bri and the gang, he can be found playing guitar, drums and singing for his new band. Hello Everyone! My name is Dylan Paul Ingham (obviously) and I am 11-years old. I like to

do many things, including eat, play, draw, think, and, of course, write.

59

Thank you for reading

Sheepish Duck!

How to reach us:

sheepishduck@gmail.com

401-247-1920 x6

sheepishduck.tumblr.com

twitter.com/sheepishduck

Barrington Public Library

281 County Road

Barrington, Rhode Island

02806

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