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Singlehood, Pairing and Cohabitation
Michael ItagakiSociology 275, Marriage and
Family
Marriage Marketplace
Process that involves bargaining, exchange and love. Physical attractiveness’ importance
early Halo effect
In dating game, people prefer attractive people
Marriage Marketplace
Process that involves bargaining, exchange and love. People tend to choose “equals” in
terms of: Looks, intelligence, education, etc…
Men more likely than women to care about partners’ appearance
Marital Exchange
The traditional exchange is related to traditional gender roles: Men offer status, economic
resources, and protection. Women offer nurturing,
childbearing, and physical attractiveness.
Marriage Squeeze
Gender imbalance reflected in the ratio of available unmarried women to men.
There are more unmarried women than men But ages 15 to 39, there are more
unmarried men
Marriage Gradient Tendency for women to marry men of
higher status
Ratio of Unmarried Men to Unmarried Women, 2002
Field of Eligibles
Consists of those of whom our culture approves as potential partners.
Endogamy Marriage within a particular group.
Exogamy Marriage outside a particular group.
Field of Eligibles
Homogamy Tendency to choose a mate whose
characteristics are similar to ours. Most important elements are race,
religion, age, socioeconomic status Residential propinquity
Heterogamy Tendency to choose a mate whose
characteristics are different from ours.
Field of Eligibles
Hypergamy Marrying above one’s socioeconomic
level Trend for women
Hypogamy Marrying below one’s socioeconomic
level. Trend for men
Other Theories
Complimentary Needs Theory “Opposites attract”—People seek
spouses whose needs are different. Parental Image Theory
Seek partners similar to our opposite-sex parent.
Stimulus-value-role Theory The stimulus stage = attraction The value stage = weighing partners’
values The role stage = analyze partner’s
potential
Development of Romantic Relationships Seeing, Meeting, Dating Dating terminology and practices
What are slang terms given for dating today?
Development of Romantic Relationships Seeing, Meeting, Dating Seeing
Closed fields Open fields
Development of Romantic Relationships Seeing, Meeting, Dating Meeting
Men more likely to initiate a meeting directly
Women more likely wait for an introduction
Changing methods: Online, personal ads, etc…
Obstacles for homosexuals
Development of Romantic Relationships Seeing, Meeting, Dating Dating
Both men and women agree men should initiate first dates
Development of Romantic Relationships Problems Associated with Dating
Divergent gender-roles Common problems for women Common problems for men “Involvements” outside dating
relationships
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do Be sure you want to break up.
Speed bump or road block? Acknowledge that your partner will be
hurt Acceptance or avoidance?
Put finality to the relationship Cushioning the blow or prolonging the
agony? Don’t change your mind
Does heartache equal a bad decision?
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do If Your Partner Breaks up With
You: The pain is natural and temporary You are worthwhile, whether you
are with a partner or not Keep a sense of humor
Singlehood
According to the 2000 Census: 24% of the U.S. population (18 and
up) had never married. Over 68 million adult Americans (18
or older) are unmarried (divorced or never married).
More than 80 million if include widows, widowers.
Factors in Rising Number of Single Adults Delayed marriage
The longer one postpones marriage, the greater the likelihood of never marrying.
% of Never-Married Women and Men, 1970–2000
Male Female
Age 1970 2000 1970 2000
20–24 35.8 83.7 54.7 72.8
25–29 10.5 51.7 19.1 38.1
30–34 6.2 30.1 9.4 21.9
35–39 5.4 20.3 7.2 14.3
40–44 4.9 15.7 6.3 11.8
Factors in Rising Number of Single Adults Delayed marriage
The longer one postpones marriage, the greater the likelihood of never marrying.
Expanded lifestyle and employment options for women. Increased enrollment of women in
college Increased rates of divorce and
decreased likelihood of remarriage.
Factors in Rising Number of Single Adults More liberal social and sexual
standards. Uneven ratio of unmarried men to
unmarried women.
Pushes and Pulls Toward Marriage
Pushes Pulls
Pushes and Pulls Toward Marriage
Pushes PullsCultural normsLonelinessSocial stigma of singlehoodMedia images
Pushes and Pulls Toward Marriage
Pushes PullsCultural normsLonelinessSocial stigma of singlehoodMedia images
Love and emotional securityDesire for childrenEconomic securitySocial status “grown-up”
Pushes and Pulls Toward Singlehood
Pushes Pulls
Pushes and Pulls Toward Singlehood
Pushes PullsProblems in marriageStagnant relationship with spouseFeelings of isolation with spouseSexual problems
Pushes and Pulls Toward Singlehood
Pushes PullsProblems in marriageStagnant relationship with spouseFeelings of isolation with spouseSexual problems
Freedom to growSelf-sufficiencyExpanded friendshipsSexual exploration
Four Types of Singles
Ambivalents Voluntarily single Consider singleness temporary.
Wishfuls Involuntarily and temporarily single Seeking marital partners but have
been unsuccessful.
Four Types of Singles
Resolveds Permanently single Priests, nuns, or “permanently”
single parents Regretfuls
Prefer to marry but are resigned to their “fate.”
Singles: Myths And Realities
Singles are dependent on their parents.
Singles are self-centered. Singles value friends more than
marrieds.
Singles: Myths And Realities Singles have more money. Singles are happier.
Singles believe they are happier than marrieds
Marrieds believe that they are happier than singles.
Singles view singlehood as a lifetime alternative.
Characteristics of Singlehood Singles don’t easily fit into
married society Singles have more time Singles have more fun Singles are lonely
Reasons to Cohabit
Temporary casual convenience Affectionate dating or going together. Economic advantage or necessity. Trial marriage. Respite from being single. Temporary alternative to marriage. Permanent alternative to marriage.
Cohabitation: 1960 to 2001
Social Impact of Cohabitation Cohabitation delays the age of
marriage Cohabiting relationships
generally don’t last more than two years
Cohabiting couples more likely to divorce than those who do not live together before marriage.
Legal Rights and Benefits Only For Married Couples Automatically make medical decisions if
your partner is injured or incapacitated. Automatically inherit your partner’s
property if he or she dies without a will. Enter hospitals, jails, and other places
restricted to “immediate family”. Obtain health and dental insurance,
bereavement leave, and other employment benefits.
Gay and Lesbian Cohabitation Between 600,000 and 1.5 million
gay men and lesbians cohabit. Whereas heterosexual cohabiting
couples tend to adopt a traditional marriage model, lesbians and gay men utilize a “best friend” model that promotes equality in roles and power.